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Too Many Reasons to Live
The huge Sunday Times number one bestselling inspirational memoir from rugby league legend Rob Burrow on his extraordinary career and his battle with motor neurone disease .
‘A pocket rocket of a player and a giant of a character . . . He is one in a million and his story is truly inspirational’ – Clare Balding
‘I’m not giving in until my last breath’ – Rob Burrow
Rob Burrow is one of the greatest rugby league players of all time. And the most inspirational. As a boy, Rob was told he was too small to play the sport. Even when he made his debut for Leeds Rhinos, people wrote him off as a novelty. But Rob never stopped proving people wrong. During his time at Leeds, for whom he played almost 500 games, he won eight Super League Grand Finals, two Challenge Cups and three World Club Challenges. He also played for his country in two World Cups.
In December 2019, Rob was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, a rare degenerative condition, and given a couple of years to live. He was only thirty-seven, not long retired and had three young children. When he went public with the devastating news, the outpouring of affection and support was extraordinary. When it became clear that Rob was going to fight it all the way, sympathy turned to awe.
This is the story of a tiny kid who adored rugby league but never should have made it – and ended up in the Leeds hall of fame. It’s the story of a man who resolved to turn a terrible predicament into something positive – when he could have thrown the towel in. It’s about the power of love, between Rob and his childhood sweetheart Lindsey, and of friendship, between Rob and his faithful teammates. Far more than a sports memoir, Too Many Reasons to Live is a story of boundless courage and infinite kindness.
‘A pocket rocket of a player and a giant of a character . . . He is one in a million and his story is truly inspirational’ – Clare Balding
‘I’m not giving in until my last breath’ – Rob Burrow
Rob Burrow is one of the greatest rugby league players of all time. And the most inspirational. As a boy, Rob was told he was too small to play the sport. Even when he made his debut for Leeds Rhinos, people wrote him off as a novelty. But Rob never stopped proving people wrong. During his time at Leeds, for whom he played almost 500 games, he won eight Super League Grand Finals, two Challenge Cups and three World Club Challenges. He also played for his country in two World Cups.
In December 2019, Rob was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, a rare degenerative condition, and given a couple of years to live. He was only thirty-seven, not long retired and had three young children. When he went public with the devastating news, the outpouring of affection and support was extraordinary. When it became clear that Rob was going to fight it all the way, sympathy turned to awe.
This is the story of a tiny kid who adored rugby league but never should have made it – and ended up in the Leeds hall of fame. It’s the story of a man who resolved to turn a terrible predicament into something positive – when he could have thrown the towel in. It’s about the power of love, between Rob and his childhood sweetheart Lindsey, and of friendship, between Rob and his faithful teammates. Far more than a sports memoir, Too Many Reasons to Live is a story of boundless courage and infinite kindness.
304 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2022
184 people are currently reading
536 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 158 reviews
June 17, 2025
I read this recently following a friend's MND diagnosis. To be honest, I didn't know much about Rob Burrow but this book is a wide open window into the life of the man before, during and after his MND diagnosis. It's way more rugby-heavy than I expected (literally blow-by-blow accounts of rugby matches) which I did get a little bored of at times - but I loved that it is interspersed with chapters from his family, friends and teammates, which lends a much more rounded perspective and gives insights into how others saw Rob. What comes through overehelmingly is Rob's determination to be happy and surround himself with love, and not see MND as a slow march towards the inevitable. It's clear he continued to find joy in so many places after his diagnosis and I loved that.
May 20, 2022
enjoyed this book charting Rob's Rugby league career with Leeds Rhinos and his battle with MND and his experiences , very insightful .
September 7, 2021
It's a blatent cliche, but this is a sporting story that is a tale of two halves. Rob Burrow tells his story of twice playing the underdog to become an unlikely Rugby League star and then in his fight against MND not long after his retirement. He approaches both with a strong willed determination that you cannot help but find inspiring.
Leeds fans will love re-living the glory - and what glory - through Rob's eyes, but that won't be the case for everyone as the book almosts descends into a basic list of "and then we beat this team and we lost to the other".
That can be forgiven when Rob decides to give some compelling insight into (amongst other things) the friction between himself and coach Brian McDermott. The fact that their relationship is now an evidently rocky one, yet McDermott has given an interview for this book where he waxes lyrical about Burrow speaks volumes about him.
As for his battle with MND - well that just has to be read to be believed. I'm not sure I could be so strong and positive in his position. A true hero, on and off the pitch.
Leeds fans will love re-living the glory - and what glory - through Rob's eyes, but that won't be the case for everyone as the book almosts descends into a basic list of "and then we beat this team and we lost to the other".
That can be forgiven when Rob decides to give some compelling insight into (amongst other things) the friction between himself and coach Brian McDermott. The fact that their relationship is now an evidently rocky one, yet McDermott has given an interview for this book where he waxes lyrical about Burrow speaks volumes about him.
As for his battle with MND - well that just has to be read to be believed. I'm not sure I could be so strong and positive in his position. A true hero, on and off the pitch.
March 28, 2025
A positive book and he has a great message. Loved all the Leeds and Bradford references and that it’s read on the audio by someone with a West Yorkshire accent!!
I don’t know a single thing about rugby and that was a bit of a problem - it’s very heavy on the rugby references, people and lingo 😂
I don’t know a single thing about rugby and that was a bit of a problem - it’s very heavy on the rugby references, people and lingo 😂
September 4, 2023
I have followed Rob’s story since it was revealed on BBC a few years ago that he had been diagnosed with MND. His story is highly inspiring and he has brought a huge amount of attention to the awful effects of MND. I think I was expecting the book to mainly be about his fight against MND, and about how him and his family have coped, and all the wonderful things he has done to spread awareness. There are parts of the book that are about this, however it mainly focuses on Rob’s amazing and inspiring rugby career. For someone like me, who only knows Rob from watching him on the BBC, and who is not remotely interested in rugby, I found it a little hard to follow in parts, as I have no idea who any of his rugby teammates, rivals etc are and I have no real love for the sport. However, there is no denying that Rob is a huge inspiration, on and off the pitch and I will continue to follow his incredible journey. He comes across as such a humble, down to earth, normal bloke, and his fight to spread awareness of an awful, cruel and debilitating disease should be applauded and celebrated endlessly. Well done Rob!
July 8, 2024
I’ve always admired Robs grit and determination ever since I first watched him and the rest of the team in South Stand at Headingley, but reading this book shows his determination on another level! After getting constant knock-backs over his size, to experiencing the highs and lows of rugby career to then being faced with this horrible destroying terminal illness, he has continued to have fire in his belly. His fantastic one-liners and stories of his practical jokes on his team mates have had me laughing out loud - this book is not all morbid. Rob tells us of his childhood, rugby career, the gruelling training, the laughs with his mates and also covers his family life (his wife is a diamond) and finally, the MND itself; raising awareness and the challenges himself and other sufferers are faced with. I really hope that funds continue to be raised and that one in the not too distant future, a cure will be found.
September 24, 2024
As far as I was concerned, Rob Burrow was always the best player on the pitch whenever I watched rugby league (a more brutal, northern, working-class version of the toff’s sport of rugby union). I say this even though Rob had the privilege of playing on the same side as some of the best players ever to grace the game. He was also the shortest player on the pitch. Any pitch. Always. Which made his playing (think Diego Maradona playing football) even more remarkable, because when you are (a) the most dangerous player on the pitch, and (b) the smallest player on the pitch, there is one obvious way for the opposition to stop you. As a result, Rob was knocked unconscious 20 times during top-level games. On every occasion he carried on playing once he was revived. He also suffered hundreds (yes - hundreds) of concussions, which would leave him wandering the pitch asking people what his name was and where he had left his car keys. In any other sport he would have been removed from the field of play and ordered to rest for a minimum of six weeks. In fact, in other contact sports he would have been forced to retire much earlier than he did (aged 37). But this is rugby league, so as long as you can stand you can play. And I know it still goes on because I saw a player knocked stone cold last week in a super-league game and he was ignored by the referee and 11 of his 12 team-mates (the one who did go to him checked his pockets for money then threw some water over him. I told you it was northern…). Sadly, and possibly relatedly, Rob developed motor neurone disease shortly after retiring, and dedicated the remainder of his short life to raising awareness of this terrible illness so that others could be funded to help find a cure. He died aged 41, and is much missed. And yet none of this is a spoiler for the book. In fact, all or most of it is in the publishers blurb. The reason being: Rob’s campaign (including and especially the help of his former captain, Kevin Sinfield) grabbed the hearts of the nation, including people who had never and will never watch rugby league. Rob’s story became the most well known story in the U.K. of recent years. This includes multiple television and radio documentaries.
As for the book - it does what it says on the tin: it’s an autobiography, and as such it walks us through Rob’s entire life. His illness formed a small part of his life, and so it is with the book. If you want to read about Rob’s battle with MND, this book is not the place to do so. Four notable features of the book: (1) Rob was very (very!) funny; (2) Rob was incredibly modest. He genuinely had no idea how good he was. For him, getting picked for the team was a success whereas for the team having Rob playing was a gift from God; (3) Rob had a heart of gold. Husbands and fathers everywhere can rightly claim he let the side down by making the rest of us look terrible; (4) Rob could remember every detail of every game he ever played, and it is details about games that make up 80% of the book. If you are not a sports fan then I don’t recommend this book. If you want to know more about Rob’s battle with MND etc, then watch the excellent BBC documentaries (I’ve only got through half of one of them. I found it too difficult to see the pitiful physical state of Rob towards the end. Amazingly, and despite all the concussions, he was as mentally sharp and mischievous as ever). Shame on me I suppose for not being able to handle his illness…
If you like rugby league this book is unmissable, even if Rob was the main cause of your clubs lack of success over the past twenty years!
As for the book - it does what it says on the tin: it’s an autobiography, and as such it walks us through Rob’s entire life. His illness formed a small part of his life, and so it is with the book. If you want to read about Rob’s battle with MND, this book is not the place to do so. Four notable features of the book: (1) Rob was very (very!) funny; (2) Rob was incredibly modest. He genuinely had no idea how good he was. For him, getting picked for the team was a success whereas for the team having Rob playing was a gift from God; (3) Rob had a heart of gold. Husbands and fathers everywhere can rightly claim he let the side down by making the rest of us look terrible; (4) Rob could remember every detail of every game he ever played, and it is details about games that make up 80% of the book. If you are not a sports fan then I don’t recommend this book. If you want to know more about Rob’s battle with MND etc, then watch the excellent BBC documentaries (I’ve only got through half of one of them. I found it too difficult to see the pitiful physical state of Rob towards the end. Amazingly, and despite all the concussions, he was as mentally sharp and mischievous as ever). Shame on me I suppose for not being able to handle his illness…
If you like rugby league this book is unmissable, even if Rob was the main cause of your clubs lack of success over the past twenty years!
October 18, 2022
An Incredibly moving book about the diminutive rugby league star Rob Burrow. The parts about his struggle with MND are heartbreaking. The parts about his rugby league career weren’t as interesting to me but probably would be if you were a rugby league fan.
The two BBC programmes (second one screened for the first time tonight) about Rob are also a must watch although very upsetting at times.
https://youtu.be/y-y014GAhKo
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...
The two BBC programmes (second one screened for the first time tonight) about Rob are also a must watch although very upsetting at times.
https://youtu.be/y-y014GAhKo
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...
August 4, 2022
Heart warming but heart breaking at the same time; this is one inspirational story.
Born in the northern town of Castleford, Rob's dream as a child was to play rugby league for the Leeds Rhinos (this isn't the done thing if you are from Cas!) However being the smallest kid on the pitch Rob wasn't sure he would get to live his dream. But perseverance paid off and Rob signed for Leeds. Over his long career Rob won trophy after trophy, playing with and against some of the world's best and becoming a legend in his own right. After hanging up his boots, sadly and shockingly Rob was diagnosed with MND or ALS at the age of 38.
With antidotes from family, friends, team mates and opposition players; it will make you laugh and make you cry.
A fantastic read and not just one for rugby leagues fans! 5/5
Born in the northern town of Castleford, Rob's dream as a child was to play rugby league for the Leeds Rhinos (this isn't the done thing if you are from Cas!) However being the smallest kid on the pitch Rob wasn't sure he would get to live his dream. But perseverance paid off and Rob signed for Leeds. Over his long career Rob won trophy after trophy, playing with and against some of the world's best and becoming a legend in his own right. After hanging up his boots, sadly and shockingly Rob was diagnosed with MND or ALS at the age of 38.
With antidotes from family, friends, team mates and opposition players; it will make you laugh and make you cry.
A fantastic read and not just one for rugby leagues fans! 5/5
August 21, 2025
Ah, what a nice, genuine, salt of the earth guy. OK I know rugby was a big part of his life but I did find myself glazing over somewhat as there's so much talk of it. It absolutely does not detract from him as a person and he was clearly dedicated to his wife, his kids, his family, his friends and his livelihood. His attitude, and that of everyone around him in the face of the illness is to be commended. Yes, I glazed over at some rugby talk but the testimonials from those important to him always brought me back, and that's where I found the most emotionally charged pieces of writing.
December 29, 2022
I listened to the audiobook narrated by Matthew Lewis. I’m not a sporty person, I’ve barely watched a rugby match before. Being from Leeds, I’ve been touched by Rob’s story so thought I’d listen. It was a powerful read, what a remarkable person. His bravery and spirit is inspirational. Would recommend.
May 13, 2025
What a guy
December 6, 2021
Always my favourite Leeds Rhinos player and this book confirms my choice was a sound one. Brilliant player and an even better human being!
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December 12, 2024I'm not going to rate this one because it just wasn't for me - I thought it would be a lot more about Rob's life, insight and diagnosis - of course that made up part of the book, but 70% of it was purely rugby which I'm not interested in. It also grated on me that every 1-2 pages throughout the entire book Rob's size was mentioned...yes he was small/short, I got that after the first 20 times, the next 200 times it was mentioned was rather tedious. That said, if you are interested in Rob's career/rugby in general, I fully recommend listening to the audio book - lots of interviews from various players and friends etc.
It is a well done memoir and he faced his diagnosis admirably, I just personally found the overall emphasis on his entire rugby career too much as someone that isn't into sport - but that's a me problem not a book problem!
It is a well done memoir and he faced his diagnosis admirably, I just personally found the overall emphasis on his entire rugby career too much as someone that isn't into sport - but that's a me problem not a book problem!
October 5, 2021
Rob Burrow was always one of the nice guys in rugby league. Great player, fast, and just got on with the game. I support Wigan Warriors but he was always fair and well liked.
This book is sad and difficult to read in places. However, if you are a rugby league fan of any team, this will interest you. He tells of his life playing for Leeds Rhinos and the ups and downs of his very successful career.
However, the story also tells us about his diagnosis and life with MND and it is a definite tear jerker. This does show the strength and resilience himself and his family have had to endure throughout.
The last paragraph in the book is the most poignant I have ever read.
This book is sad and difficult to read in places. However, if you are a rugby league fan of any team, this will interest you. He tells of his life playing for Leeds Rhinos and the ups and downs of his very successful career.
However, the story also tells us about his diagnosis and life with MND and it is a definite tear jerker. This does show the strength and resilience himself and his family have had to endure throughout.
The last paragraph in the book is the most poignant I have ever read.
September 17, 2021
Wanted to read this book because I have been following Rob Burrow’s story on BBC Breakfast. I hadn’t heard of him before but was so moved by everything he and his family is going through.
October 7, 2021
Amazing and inspirational read.
January 12, 2022
I'm a life-long Castleford Tigers fan so trust me when I say it's not easy to read parts of a story from the perspective of the person who inflicted some of the misery on your team, getting to see what might have been from the side that celebrated rather than the side left wondering what might have been!
But my suffering as a fan is small potatoes compared to what Rob Burrow and his family have faced through the last couple of years. I think it says a lot about the rugby league community that despite our team rivalries, we'll always look after our own when it comes down to it. Rob mentions that so many fans of other teams have gone on to pass on their well-wishes, give him money, even do their own ridiculous challenges to raise awareness for his cause.
So this isn't really about sporting rivalries, and it's not really about us fans, though naturally Rob does mention the fanbase and community as you can't NOT when you speak about rugby league.
But mostly it's about a man recently retired from the pinnacle of his career being given the worst possible news. Then using that news as fresh motivation, refusing to give up and determined to surround himself by the things that make life worth living rather than sit and wait. I think that's the most inspiring part of this book, even for someone reading it who hasn't been given a shorter life expectancy, you realise that there are so many things in life that get in the way of making it count. By his own admission Rob knows he's in a privileged position (surrounded by family, lots of mates, some money - though rugby league players are not premier league footballers!) but I don't think that matters. Being told you might only have a couple of years to live is a great leveller. How you react to that isn't related to bricks, fancy cars or other material things.
I was already well aware of MND but have learned so much more about the process one goes through when diagnoses and also how criminally underfunded research into this is in the UK.
I live in Scotland and am married to a Scottish rugby union fan so it was also heartwarming to read a bit about Doddie Weir. Both he and Rob and countless others like them are doing their best to raise awareness and funds to combat this horrendous disease. Hopefully in the future folk will reward their efforts and find a cure.
4.5 stars for me because unless you are very familiar with rugby league it can become a list of matches and competitions ("we won this, we then lost this, we then won this when nobody expected us to") and that might be a struggle for newcomers. However, definitely worth a read anyway as the love and care all the contributors have for one another shines through.
P.S. Definitely the only thing Leeds Rhinos I'll ever willingly buy!
But my suffering as a fan is small potatoes compared to what Rob Burrow and his family have faced through the last couple of years. I think it says a lot about the rugby league community that despite our team rivalries, we'll always look after our own when it comes down to it. Rob mentions that so many fans of other teams have gone on to pass on their well-wishes, give him money, even do their own ridiculous challenges to raise awareness for his cause.
So this isn't really about sporting rivalries, and it's not really about us fans, though naturally Rob does mention the fanbase and community as you can't NOT when you speak about rugby league.
But mostly it's about a man recently retired from the pinnacle of his career being given the worst possible news. Then using that news as fresh motivation, refusing to give up and determined to surround himself by the things that make life worth living rather than sit and wait. I think that's the most inspiring part of this book, even for someone reading it who hasn't been given a shorter life expectancy, you realise that there are so many things in life that get in the way of making it count. By his own admission Rob knows he's in a privileged position (surrounded by family, lots of mates, some money - though rugby league players are not premier league footballers!) but I don't think that matters. Being told you might only have a couple of years to live is a great leveller. How you react to that isn't related to bricks, fancy cars or other material things.
I was already well aware of MND but have learned so much more about the process one goes through when diagnoses and also how criminally underfunded research into this is in the UK.
I live in Scotland and am married to a Scottish rugby union fan so it was also heartwarming to read a bit about Doddie Weir. Both he and Rob and countless others like them are doing their best to raise awareness and funds to combat this horrendous disease. Hopefully in the future folk will reward their efforts and find a cure.
4.5 stars for me because unless you are very familiar with rugby league it can become a list of matches and competitions ("we won this, we then lost this, we then won this when nobody expected us to") and that might be a struggle for newcomers. However, definitely worth a read anyway as the love and care all the contributors have for one another shines through.
P.S. Definitely the only thing Leeds Rhinos I'll ever willingly buy!
December 26, 2021
The amazing story of Rob Burrow, his fantastic rugby league career and now his battle with MND. He’s always faced challenges in his life/career, too small for rugby league? He went on to win 8 Super League Grand Titles, one of the most decorated players in rugby history. The way he faces his battle with MND is truly inspirational.
March 14, 2024
Absolutely inspirational human being!
January 5, 2025
What a beautiful read. 😍
June 14, 2024
Incredible book x
March 13, 2022
Fantastic book, couldn't put it down. I watched super league growing up as a St Helens fan with a strong dislike for Leeds but Robs story is truly inspirational and my heart goes out to him , his family & friends.
April 9, 2022
What an ending. Can’t say I knew the first thing about rugby league or much about MND, this book was an absolute joy and insight to read. Loved the structure and range of contributors speaking about Rob. Laughed more than I cried, a powerful story about an admirable life to be proud of, absolute hero. Highly recommend
September 1, 2021
Funny, inspirational and heartbreaking. Brilliant book!
February 13, 2022
In December 2019, Rob Burrow was diagnosed with motor neurone disease - MND - a rare degenerative condition and given a couple of years to live. He was only 37, not long retired and had 3 young children. When he went public with the devastating news, the love and support he was shown was extraordinary. This is a story of a man who resolved to turn a terrible predicament into something positive ✨
I remember watching the documentary that Rob did for the BBC and being in tears for him. Yet he remained so positive and cheerful despite his diagnosis. Rob talks about his career as a rugby league player and the games he played. His friendships made me smile. There were many tears shed throughout this book and that last paragraph was poignant. 4 🌟🌟🌟🌟
I remember watching the documentary that Rob did for the BBC and being in tears for him. Yet he remained so positive and cheerful despite his diagnosis. Rob talks about his career as a rugby league player and the games he played. His friendships made me smile. There were many tears shed throughout this book and that last paragraph was poignant. 4 🌟🌟🌟🌟
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January 5, 2022I have been following the story of Rob Burrow through the interviews on BBC Breakfast. I decided to read this book as I thought it would help increase my knowledge of the terrible disease MND and also learn how Rob himself, his friends and family have dealt with the diagnosis. I am not a rugby league fan so had no knowledge of Rob Burrow from this field, and have to admit I did end up skim reading the tales of the rugby matches in the second half of the book as they didn’t hold much interest for me. It was interesting to read sections about MND and how Rob and his family have tackled this cruel disease that has turned their world upside down, but lacked something for me. I also did not learn much more about MND than I already knew, which was a little disappointing.
March 29, 2022
As a lifelong Leeds Rugby League supporter, this book was a must read for me. But, on a more human level, this book was again a must read for me. When
Rob Burrow, our very own “pocket rocket” retired from playing first team rugby, we (the fans) we’re gutted. He had been an integral part of our club’s recent success, a product of the Leeds Rhinos Academy, one of our own. He’d played many a pivotal role in our glory era, one of the “band of brothers”, part of our so called “golden generation”. But, as a fan, you accept that things don’t last forever. What was far harder to accept was his diagnosis of MND not long after his retirement from the professional sport. Very quickly, the RL Family rallied round and the fundraising began. How could this be happening to Rob, our Rob. The community was devastated. Reading this book goes to show you how inspirational Rob, Lindsey, and their family are. The positivity, and strength of character is unbelievable.
I found it an incredibly difficult read at times, because every few pages my tears would start again. I know that Rob chose to write this book for positive reasons (awareness, inspiration, legacy) and not to make us, the readers, sad, but it’s impossible not to be moved by such a life and story.
Rob Burrow, our very own “pocket rocket” retired from playing first team rugby, we (the fans) we’re gutted. He had been an integral part of our club’s recent success, a product of the Leeds Rhinos Academy, one of our own. He’d played many a pivotal role in our glory era, one of the “band of brothers”, part of our so called “golden generation”. But, as a fan, you accept that things don’t last forever. What was far harder to accept was his diagnosis of MND not long after his retirement from the professional sport. Very quickly, the RL Family rallied round and the fundraising began. How could this be happening to Rob, our Rob. The community was devastated. Reading this book goes to show you how inspirational Rob, Lindsey, and their family are. The positivity, and strength of character is unbelievable.
I found it an incredibly difficult read at times, because every few pages my tears would start again. I know that Rob chose to write this book for positive reasons (awareness, inspiration, legacy) and not to make us, the readers, sad, but it’s impossible not to be moved by such a life and story.
April 29, 2023
Good read but...
It's a story of a life well lived and cut down in his prime, a good insight into a terrible condition.
However, if you are not a fan of rugby league this can at times feel like a hard read. Obviously the guy made his name in the sport, and good for him. The reader though is at times taken through matches he played, which for anyone without a clue of the rules or game can seem a bit too in depth. It does at times read like the back page of a northern newspaper.
The guy is an inspiration, so is his best pal Kev who is still by his side and raising literally millions for the research project.
Worth a read but be prepared for a rugby league fest, which can make the narrative drag quite a bit.
It's a story of a life well lived and cut down in his prime, a good insight into a terrible condition.
However, if you are not a fan of rugby league this can at times feel like a hard read. Obviously the guy made his name in the sport, and good for him. The reader though is at times taken through matches he played, which for anyone without a clue of the rules or game can seem a bit too in depth. It does at times read like the back page of a northern newspaper.
The guy is an inspiration, so is his best pal Kev who is still by his side and raising literally millions for the research project.
Worth a read but be prepared for a rugby league fest, which can make the narrative drag quite a bit.
August 20, 2022
Great book, great man. I laughed and cried. Sometimes within 5 minutes of each other. Read this and never feel sorry for yourself ever again. EVER!
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