The Moment Between

by Nicole Baart

Abigail Bennett was completely in control of her life until tragedy pushed her to the brink of something she’s never Obsession . Now she’s given up everything she’s ever worked for to chase down the object of that obsession. His name is Tyler Kamp. As Abigail follows him across the border into Canada, her journey is awash in memories of family and childhood, especially those of her younger sister Hailey. Even as Abigail races into her future, her past pulls her back. Only when she is brought to the edge of her obsession will she be able to come to terms with the tragedy that ignited it.

Genres: Christian Fiction, Fiction, Contemporary, Christian, Adult Fiction, Audiobook, Family

384 pages, Paperback

First published April 8, 2009

About the author

Nicole Baart is the author of eleven novels, including Everything We Didn’t Say (an October 2021 Book of the Month selection and Amazon Editor's pick) and The Long Way Back. Best known for her “race-to-the-finish family dramas” (People), Baart is also the cofounder of a nonprofit and mother of five. She lives in Iowa with her family.

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/nicolebaart/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/NicoleBaart/
Twitter https://twitter.com/NicoleLynnBaart

Reviews

[Julie N · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't even realize this was Christian fiction until after I had bought the book. I really liked that this author took a contemporary issue and addressed it without the typical religious catchwords that are typically associated with mental illness. It was brave to approach the subject the way she did in a Christian novel, but it really made the author stand out to me. Typically Christian fiction is formulaic, not well written, a version of dime novel romances without the sex. I love that every character in this book is a real person and the characters don't go around spouting off the sinner's prayer or the four spiritual laws. They just live their lives like normal people and if their faith shows, the author lets that stand for itself. No heavy handed repentance "come to Christ" scenes. I will definitely read more by this author. This is creative thought that really doesn't typically occur in the Christian fiction community. There isn't a split second of anything heavy-handed or preachy in it - I'd feel comfortable passing it along to non-Christian friends without worrying that they would think I was giving them a sermon. It's just a great book about family and forgiveness and doesn't force itself to be burdened with having to "prove" it's Christian lit.

[Sarb · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was....just wow I never thought I would like this book. This actually wasn't that bad of a book-- I've read worse-- everything was like omg I didn't think this would happen, but it did....

This book is about Abigail Bennett who was completely controlled with her whole life--she's the type of person to go to when you need advice or help-- but when tragedy strikes her life. She has an obsession and his name is Tyler... Hailey is dangerously beautiful but really needy. Abigail races into her future but her past stills pulls onto her...

Ok, everything was a whoosh whoosh scene, it flied by. This had LOTS of imaginary, love, doubt, forgiveness. Hands down this author is so descriptive, the research she did was amazing, to say the least. Tyler, Abby, Hailey, Lou, Eli, Melody even Nan, are original...

Abby, short for Abigail was a... complex and well-thought out character. She is a strong, independent women who doesn't believe in people helping her with her life. I sometimes pity Abby, the decisions she took were hard, REALLY hard. She wanted a own life with no distractions. (I can fully relate to Abby in this book) This is a story of family, of a women risking so much for family. Family is one thing that no one can avoid, even if you want too.

Hailey, really made me mad. She needs to grow up someday and be more mature in.... everything, in that matter. As the back of the book states, '" Hailey. Dangerously beautiful yet indefinably needy..."' well, that's so true in this book. It hits you full in the face, I mean it so be prepared. This is Abbys little sister, who in everyones eyes is beautiful and dangerous at the same time. This is a big sister book to me, everything seems so settle, dangerous and have-to-do-it. But, girl, Hailey needs to step up her game and see what others are feeeling because her actions... aren't that great and this is coming from a 14 year old teen.

Melody and Lou, really made me mad cause they're PARENTS. They should know everything, this is so sad, there upbringing is so sad. Lou, the forgetful father who only FAVORS ONE child and not the other. No, never the other, he doesn't even care if the other child dies. Melody, the mother who only puts the weight on the poor child and expects her to fix everything. It's. so. sad.

I can't say much about Nan or Eli or Tyler--the key obsession-- because I could easily spoil the main plot but I can tell you one thing, this is NOT what YOU expect, I mean it. Everything is just whoa, it took me a second to regain everything.

I thought I was going to hate this book like give it a 1 or 2 star cause i KNEW i was going to HATE no DESPISE this book. But, turns outs, this isn't so bad it was an okay-okay book. Not the best but not the worst. The beginning turned me really off but everything was fine when the plot took place. 3 stars tops to this book.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

"A taut, engrossing tale about familial love and redemption."
Booklist

“The Moment Between is a heart-wrenching story, beautifully rendered by an exciting new author who shows the courage it takes to step out of the moment of ‘what was’ and ‘is’ and grasp hold of ‘what can be’ through the hope and promise God offers. This is a novel that should not be missed.”
Francine Rivers, best-selling author of Redeeming Love

"Nicole Baart's The Moment Between is an exquisite look at the angst- and love-filled relationship between sisters: the elder, responsible Abigail and the brilliant, impulsive Hailey. Baart skillfully paints this picture with the tenderness and empathy of a master artist, creating a masterwork that will not soon be forgotten. This book is a treasure, and not to be missed."
Angela Hunt, award winning author

“Haunting and evocative, The Moment Between is a stunning literary work. Baart captures beauty and madness alike in the finely wrought net of her immaculate prose, weaving a tale of the ties that bind as only a master storyteller can. The specters of her characters linger long after the covers are closed, impressed upon the mind, still moving the heart.”
Tosca Lee, author of Demon: A Memoir

“The Moment Between is a stark, agonizingly beautiful treatise on family, human frailty, and suffocating regret. With breathtaking prose, an everywoman heroine, and a twisting journey, Nicole Baart unfolds hope in the darkest circumstances."
Mary DeMuth, author of Daisy Chain

“Beautiful, complex, and rich. The great mystery at the heart of The Moment Between is not what happened but why. Nicole Baart gracefully peels back the layers to examine sibling love, brokenness, and healing that comes through redemption.”
Travis Thrasher, author of Ghostwriter

“A story about the emotional communion of two sisters that is as rich and complex as fine red wine. Baart’s story of a tragedy and one woman’s yearning for atonement, for answers, and for peace, is both gritty and lyrical. Leavened by tenderness, it plumbs troubling questions of how much responsibility we bear to control our minds and actions, the paradoxical pitfalls that can come from harnessing both too tightly, and the mysterious grace of faith.”
Lisa McKay, author of My Hands Came Away Red

“Even though Abigail is entirely certain for whom she is searching, she is tragically unsure of what it is she wants or needs to find. The blind devotion of that quest is mesmerizing, ushering us along effortlessly in Nicole Baart’s new novel, The Moment Between. Meanwhile, as it has in all her work, Baart’s elegant prose becomes a lyric melody, its own kind of blessing to story and reader.”
James Calvin Schaap, author of Romey’s Place

[Kristen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish this book would have just gotten to the point. It's a shame I wasted as much time as I did on this story. The writing is good but the story is lacking something - lost interest halfway through and tried to finish but gave up! I found it to be boring and I couldnt "get into it"

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hard to get into. Was better about halfway through the book.

[Josephine Briggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

A painful, sad read. A deep look into the mind and heart of Abigail.

Suicide is the person's own choice, but so many blame themselves. Why didn't they see? Why weren't they nicer? Why couldn't they have been more kinder or caring?

A story of mental illness and a family trying to cope with a sick person.

The story begins with the suicide of Hailey Bennett, a beautiful, troubled woman of twenty-six. Her sister found her in her apartment in her bathtub filled with blood. The two had a lunch date. Abigail is complete opposite of Hailey. Abigail is an accountant, college educated, good with numbers, likes her job and has been made a partner in her firm. Abigail is where she wants to be. Her life changes with her sister's death. Abby blames Hailey's boyfriend, Tyler. She vows to find him and make him pay for Hailey's suicide. Abigail also feels guilty about Hailey. She takes leave of absence from her good job to look for Tyler. Abigail is thirty-one.

The Bennett Family was dysfunctional long before Hailey was born. Lou loved Melody since he first saw her. He was forty-five, Melody much younger. The two married, no children for six years, then Abigail. Lou enjoyed the two being together, he wanted his wife all to himself. Abby came between her parents. Maybe if she had been a boy. Five years later, Hailey. Lou adored this beautiful baby, his pride and joy. She could do no wrong. As she grew older and caused so many problems, a doctor found she was bipolar, ADHD, possible personality disorder. It bothered Hailey that she acted the way she did. She felt like a zombie when she had to take so much medicine.

Abigail takes charge of her life, a strong woman, she is where she wants to be. She is tired of taking change of her family, she loves her sister, she hates her sister. She leaves Minnesota, moves to Florida. When her mother died, Lou and Hailey drove down, rented an old trailer and moved into her life. Hailey was in and out of trouble.

Abby goes about looking for Tyler, where has he gone. She asks his roommate, he tells her Tyler moved to Canada. When people thought Abby attractive or pretty, No! This is not her, this is Hailey. She goes to Vancouver, British Columbia, then to the wine country where she was told Tyler went to work for his uncle, Eli. She goes to the little town of Revell, popular with tourists. What surprises me is that she meets Eli, she is trying to worm her way into Tyler's life to make him pay. Eli calls her, offers her a job in his vineyard, hard, heavy work. Surprisingly, Abby allows Eli to talk her into taking his offer. She is such a strong woman with a mind of her own and will not allow a man to dictate to her. She has her reasons. She learns much about growing grapes, making wine and finds she likes her job.

There is much about religion and God. Hailey made her confirmation, goes to church every Sunday. She felt she needed God in her life. She was in so much pain. Abby and her parents were marginal Catholics. Eli is also very religious, loves God and Jesus. Both were in pain, both felt God and Jesus is the answer. People need to forgive. Abby is kind of thinking about God, just in a small way. Hailey loved the mysticism and pageantry of the Catholic Church as did Eli.

Is Tyler guilty? Is Abigail? Is Hailey's doting father? Hailey is in so much pain. Will God judge her harshly? Probably not. God is God.

Good writing, it made me think.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Story Overview
Abigail Bennett lives a controlled and sterile life. She is not married, has no close friends, and works too much. She prefers it this way. After all, she created it. But when her sister Hailey commits suicide, Abigail's controlled world falls apart, and she goes looking for answers as to why her sister did what she did. In Abigail's mind, the answer lies with Tyler Kamp. So Abigail sets off on a quest to find Tyler. But Tyler has disappeared from the Florida town where they both live so Abigail tracks him down to Canada. Her journey takes her to the small tourist town of Revell, where she finds Tyler and more than she expected.

My Thoughts
This book is structured so that you follow the story on three levels -- Abigail's quest to find Tyler, Abigail's reactions upon finding Hailey's body, and glimpses into the family history shared by Abigail and Hailey. Because of this structure, reading the book is like peeling back the layers of an onion -- you get a little bit more information as each of the stories progress. I thought this was an effective structure, and the author does a good job of tying all the threads together in a coherent whole.

To me, this read like an accurate picture of a very dysfunctional family. Lou (the father) is distant and resentful to Abigail because she takes away his wife's attention upon her birth, but he falls instantly in love with Hailey and cannot bring himself to accept her problems. Melody (the mother) is a vibrant young mother who fades away from herself and her family after giving birth to Hailey. Hailey is plagued with mental illness (probably bipolar disorder) that no one in the family can bring themselves to face or understand. All of this leaves Abigail in the position of being sister, mother, mediator, and caretaker to Hailey. But, understandably, Abigail yearns for a "normal" life. She continually tries to break free from her family -- to live a life free of Hailey's dramas and problems. But every time Abigail pulls away, Hailey finds a way to draw her back.

I found the "flashback" sequences to Abigail's childhood to be compelling. I can only imagine how difficult it is to live with a family member who has mental health problems. In the Bennett family, everything revolves around Hailey and how her mental health is at the time. If Hailey is stable, life is good. If Hailey falls apart, life is bad. As the "normal" child, Abigail is kind of shortchanged by having to center her life around Hailey -- a situation that creates a love-hate relationship between the sisters.

The sequences where Abigail is tracking down Tyler Kamp were less effective to me. I struggled to believe some of Abigail's decision-making processes (especially her decision of how to deal with Tyler). Another issue for me was the character of Elijah, who ends up being Abigail's employer and Tyler's uncle. This was a little too convenient for me, but I suspect that the Eli character exists to be Abigail's guide through her crisis. It might sound odd, but it didn't dawn on me that this was a Christian-based book until the scenes with Eli toward the end of the book. Because I didn't know it was a Christian book, I was a bit confused about how the relationship between Eli and Abigail developed. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Christian fiction, I just don't seek it out and I wasn't aware of the author's writing slant until the end of the book. (I got the book via LibraryThing's Early Reviewer Program.) In a way, I think it was a tribute to the book that it is a good story first and a Christian book second. I'm not saying the relationship between Eli and Abigail doesn't work, but it is definitely the part that makes this a Christian book and not just another contemporary fiction novel. I just didn't see it coming, and it took me by surprise.

One of the things I did enjoy was the setting of the winery in the sequences where Abigail tracks down Tyler Kamp. There was some interesting writing about the winery and the process of making wines that I actually enjoyed and learned from -- and I'm not even a wine drinker!

The last thing I want to share is the e.e. cummings poem that appears at the end of the book. I love e.e. cummings and I hadn't seen this poem, and I found it very lovely and wanted to share it here.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

"i carry your heart with me" by e.e. cummings

[Christy Trever · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Moment Between by Nicole Baart is a haunting and poignant elegy from one sister to another. Abigail Bennett has spent much of her life trying to become her own person outside of the ties of her dysfunctional family. Bi-polar sister Hailey has been the center around which the family orbited, leaving little attention or affection for Abigail. Her attempts to flee their reach resulted in a suicide attempt by Hailey and then the death of their mother. Abigail's response is to retreat into a life without dreams or hopes lived simply in the mundane day to day. Hailey pulls Abigail back into her orbit one final time with her suicide, but this time Abigail is the one spiraling out of control. She abandons her controlled and planned existence to track down the other person she feels is responsible for Hailey's death: Tyler Kamp. The search for Tyler takes her far out of her comfort zone and forces her to not only face her past, but her future as well. Baart writes lyrically and beautifully. The writing at the beginning of the story has a certain distance keeping the reader at arm's length, much like Abigail has kept life. But as cracks appear in her exterior, the writing warms up and becomes stronger, more passionate, pulling the reader deeply into the story. Baart raises many questions: who has the right of vengeance, how responsible are we for the actions of others, what does true love look like? It's a perfect story for book clubs and will keep readers thinking about the ending long after the cover is closed.

[Jill Williamson · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the opening pages of Nicole Baart’s novel, The Moment Between, we meet Abigail Bennett, a successful accountant who lives in Florida. A tragedy rips apart her fragile life and sends her on a mission to exact revenge. Someone has to pay for what’s happened. And it must be either Abigail or a man named Tyler Kamp.

As Abigail tracks Tyler to Canada, the reader gets bits and pieces of the whole story through glimpses into Abigail’s childhood and brief scenes from the tragedy itself. This book is filled with characters as real as your neighbors. You fall into their world, enraptured by what’s taken place and how it all came to be. Nicole Baart weaves a haunting story that keeps you riveted as you hope for Abigail to surrender her heart to forgiveness with each turn of the page, almost praying that she won’t do as she plans.

I liked this book, though it’s not the kind I usually read. I tend to love general market, action-adventure stories over the slow paced, literary type. But this book was far from boring. Nicole Baart built tension into every scene, and that’s what kept me turning the pages, thoroughly enraptured by the story. I recommend this one to readers who love real characters suffering through real-life circumstances. This book will bring tragedy right up in your face and cause you to take a good look. But it will also remind you that no sin is ever beyond forgiveness.

[Bronwyn Rykiert · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could not get into this story and did I did not really enjoy the book at all – it was one that I skipped through a lot because I wanted to see if it got any better and for me it did not. The reviews on Amazon give this book 4 & 5 starts so maybe I am missing something?

Abigail Bennett, who has had good control on her life, comes undone when she finds her sister dead from suicide and she wants to blame someone so she puts her blame on Hailey’s boyfriend Tyler and becomes obsessed with him. Hailey has been up and down all her life, she was officially diagnosed with Bipolar at 15 and Abigail has spent her life being her mother and well as an older sister and has even put her life on hold at times.

After finding Hailey’s body she goes in search of Tyler, when she finds him though she does not confront him and puts herself through a whole lot of agony until the confrontation eventually happens. She has lived with her sister’s illness for years and knows that no-one is really to blame. Bipolar is a horrible illness.

The story line contains two rotating subplots: the present with Abigail in Canada and the past as she and her family relations unfold.

[Elizabeth Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rating. This book is difficult to understand at first because it moved between three different timelines. Much of it is the story of Abby and Hailey, who are sisters. Hailey has periods of instability that make it difficult for Abby to be her sister. An event happens that is somewhat of a spoiler that sends Abby on a journey. The journey she is on is another timeline, while the big event is the 3rd timeline.

I felt for the characters in this story. Abby is relied upon as almost a second mother to Hailey and doesn't receive much recognition for it. In contrast, Hailey turns the family's lives upside down, but remains the center of attention and affection. The complicated sisterly bond was thoroughly and accurately examined. While Abby often resents her sister, she also loves her and has a fierce desire to protect her. I found reading about this relationship to be fascinating.

I love that this book dealt with very serious issues and brought light and awareness to these issues. It also weaved a short message about the Gospel in that was beautiful and relevant, not at all detracting from the story. It was a heartbreaking story, but a powerful one.

[Danette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was the lucky person who won a set of autographed books last spring for my book club, and we just finally got around to reading it for Monday! I was a little skeptical, as I initially thought it was going to be typical "Christian fiction." I've read some bad Christian fiction, so I was unsure what to expect. But I've been following Nicole's blog (since I won the books), and as I got to know more about her and her perspective I felt confident that it wouldn't be disappointing.

It took me a little while to get into the book, because the opening scene was difficult to read. But once I got into it, I really enjoyed learning about the characters and the path they took to get to the present. I was interested in Abigail's path for revenge and in how Nicole would deal with the difficult subject in a Christian way. Both were fulfilling and intelligent and left me satisfied and thoughtful.

It was a good book that I can recommend to anyone!

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was saving this book so I could read it during my vacation from work. It was definitely a good decision - I got hooked into it right from the start and I ended up reading it in less than a week (which is a miracle considering I have an 18-month old son who requires lots of attention!).

It isn't very often when I read a book and really care about the characters. Sure, I can find them interesting or quirky. I can even want to know more about them, but the characters in this book were so well developed and well written, that I felt like I knew them. Their pain, insecurities, fear, etc. came trhough so clearly throughout this novel.

Maybe it's a cliche to say that I couldn't put this book down, but it's the truth. Ms. Baart's writing is emotional and even lyrical at times. It was a joy to read this book and I am looking forward to reading her other novels.

[Elijah Abanto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished just yesterday when I was sick. I picked this up from the bookstore, trusting Francine Rivers who recommended this book, and I was not disappointed. This book is about two sisters (particularly the eldest) Abigail (same as my eldest sister's name) and Hailey and their love-hate relationship, their relationship to their parents, and Abigail's desire to avenge the death of Hailey when the latter committed suicide because of, apparently, a man who deserted her. This beautifully crafted book (albeit some approving references to Catholic faith) is a showcase of the cost of regret to our life, the destructiveness of taking revenge into our hands, and the power of forgiveness made possible by the blood shed by Jesus Christ.

[Alison/Tony King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful writing :poignant story

I stumbled upon this writer some months ago and have read several of her books now. Once again she didn't fail, with her beautiful prose and some truly divine writing. I love the way this lady ,when sharing the gospel,does so in an gentle yet often profound way. Obviously well researched, this story line deals with mental health issues including suicide ,so it really isn't a "happy ever after" story so best avoided if you're after an escapism tale. If however you want to get some genuine insights into both these issues, in a totally non medical fashion, this book is just for you. Well done,again, Mrs Baart

[Alaina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I usually like Nicole Baart's novels, but this one was just dreadful.

The writing is overwrought with adjectives and flowery prose. Baart's work usually displays a certain poesy, but this took it too far. The narrative takes long turns for the boring, which in turn slows down what little plot there is.

The protagonist, Abby (or Abigail, as she prefers to be called) is cold and unlikeable. For someone bent on revenging her sister's suicide, she is remarkably passive. I simply did not care for her.

I hate to slam books but this one definitely doesn't display Baart's best work.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very good and I really got a sense of the scenery and atmosphere, but sometimes it was too much. The verbose-ness (I'm making that a word) took away from the point of the sentence and I lost the meaning.

At first, the back and forth was confusing, but after I got a handle on the three pieces of life that Abigail was reliving (or living), It made the story that much more captivating.

The portrayal of mental illness was exceptionally fascinating to me and being able to relate to Hailey at the end of the book helped shed some light on things I need to deal with.

[Karla Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the format of this book. Each chapter was divided into 3 segments all told from the perspective of Abigail... but each from a time different time period in her life. I was going to say the past, present, and future... but that's not exactly it. It's more like the present, the recent past, and then her childhood or growing-up years. In any case, it kept my interest as having the background information right there as I read through the book kept me turning the pages. Compelling story of family relationships and forgiveness.

[Rachel Vandenberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book to just pick up and read. I was able to read it before bed without getting my mind all tied up in knots.
It was suspenseful, intriguing, and thought provoking.
Definitely some cheesy language once in a while in my opinion, but by the middle of the book it didn’t bother me anymore.
I had no idea what this book was about before opening it, and was in for some surprises, which was fun and maybe even nice.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to agree with the 1 and 2 star reviews on this one. I did not find the story or characters to be very interesting. I think it is hard to follow stories that jump back and forth from past to present. I almost stopped in the middle, but kept hoping the end would make it worth my time. But unfortunately, it didn't. I could hardly wait for it to end. It was a struggle to stick with it.

[Bednarzterry · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess this author just isn't for me after all. The drama seemed too contrived and I'm a bit surprised that I stuck with it. I kept waiting for it to redeem itself, but it never really did. Very tiring story

[Phyllis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed. Recently found this author and like the Inspirational genre.
Some of the characters seem gruff but are really sweet.
I love the last sentence which struck me as conveying a message that was so much than its words.

[Amberly White · Rating 4 out of 5]

i’m crying fr fr. some of the best writing i have ever seen. the different timelines and intricate relationships and character development were all so impressive. i’ll be thinking about this book for a while

[Melissa (Always Behind) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful writing. Older sister goes to a vineyard in Canada after younger sister commits suicide.

[Linda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Gave up on page 118. Just not "feeling" it.

[Louanne Winkle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Complex family issues, mental illness, faith, hope ... a moving and complicated story filled with questions, grief, and forgiveness.

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid 3 1/2 stars! It was a good book, but I just wanted something more!

[Sheila Dailie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though the topic of mental illness and suicide and the effects on the family were realistically dealt with, the format of the story made it difficult to follow at first. Also, the desire for revenge almost overshadowed the rest of the themes in the book.

One of the things that I will take away from the book is the healing power of the Eucharist, though I failed to pick up on this early in the story. And perhaps, as I sit with the totality of the story, I may upgrade my rating of this book--it does have "staying" power.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book could have been improved immensely by Moving chapter 8 up closer to the beginning. So much of the earlier chapters were out of context and confusing until chapter 8. It was a tough thing to read at the beginning about her sister although we didn’t know at the time that it was her. I had to scam some of it because it was just too upsetting.

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one was a struggle for me to finish. Maybe it's because I had trouble relating to the girl with the crazy sister who held her back from, well everything. The conclusion of this one was a long time coming and only just sort of satisfied.