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Halfway Down
Alex
I don’t know how to be alive anymore.
I didn’t plan for this, didn’t ask for this, yet here I am.
Six months ago, the man I love offered me a promise I couldn’t accept. He couldn’t see the darkness inside me that had lived there since my brother’s death when we were just children. He didn’t know how broken I was, how unworthy of his love I felt. Why would he love me when my own parents couldn’t?
The day I stepped into the water was the day he learned of the monster I truly am but instead of running away Robin stayed by my side. He loves me more than I will ever deserve and I will spend the rest of my life making sure he knows how sorry I am.
I don’t know how to be alive anymore, but for him I will try.
Robin
I don’t know how to trust anymore.
I didn’t plan for this, didn’t ask for this, yet here I am.
For two years, Alex and I appeared to be on the same page, heading for a lifetime of moments together. One decision changed everything and I don’t know how to let go of the fear that lingers deep inside me. I spend my days watching him, waiting for the phone call to tell me that he’s gone again and this time he won’t be coming back.
When tragedy strikes our lives, I am terrified that this will be the moment I lose him again but I have to believe that we can make it through. I love Alex more than he thinks he deserves, but I will spend the rest of my life making sure he knows he is cherished.
I don’t know how to trust anymore, but for him I will try.
Halfway Down is a MM Romance featuring two men in love trying to survive the waves that keep crashing into their shores. Trigger warnings: suicidal ideation (intense depiction of depressive episodes), suicide attempt/death (drowning - graphic detail), traumatic childhood (kidnapping, molestation, murder - mentioned without graphic detail), the death of a character within the narrative.
I don’t know how to be alive anymore.
I didn’t plan for this, didn’t ask for this, yet here I am.
Six months ago, the man I love offered me a promise I couldn’t accept. He couldn’t see the darkness inside me that had lived there since my brother’s death when we were just children. He didn’t know how broken I was, how unworthy of his love I felt. Why would he love me when my own parents couldn’t?
The day I stepped into the water was the day he learned of the monster I truly am but instead of running away Robin stayed by my side. He loves me more than I will ever deserve and I will spend the rest of my life making sure he knows how sorry I am.
I don’t know how to be alive anymore, but for him I will try.
Robin
I don’t know how to trust anymore.
I didn’t plan for this, didn’t ask for this, yet here I am.
For two years, Alex and I appeared to be on the same page, heading for a lifetime of moments together. One decision changed everything and I don’t know how to let go of the fear that lingers deep inside me. I spend my days watching him, waiting for the phone call to tell me that he’s gone again and this time he won’t be coming back.
When tragedy strikes our lives, I am terrified that this will be the moment I lose him again but I have to believe that we can make it through. I love Alex more than he thinks he deserves, but I will spend the rest of my life making sure he knows he is cherished.
I don’t know how to trust anymore, but for him I will try.
Halfway Down is a MM Romance featuring two men in love trying to survive the waves that keep crashing into their shores. Trigger warnings: suicidal ideation (intense depiction of depressive episodes), suicide attempt/death (drowning - graphic detail), traumatic childhood (kidnapping, molestation, murder - mentioned without graphic detail), the death of a character within the narrative.
225 pages, ebook
Published March 30, 2022
32 people are currently reading
205 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
April 9, 2023
So, apparently I'm the odd one over here, seeing all these 4/5 star reviews, so maybe you should just skip this review, because it's probably safe to say it's me and not the book.
I find it hard to explain why this book didn't work for me the way I hoped it would. And it started off really good, up to a point that I believed I might have found myself another 5 star read. But then it just wasn't and I'm quite bummed about that too, specially because I can not exactly pinpoint where it went wrong.
When a book covers serious mental issues, which is the case here, I also find it very hard to be negative about it, specially when you can tell the author put a lot of thought, feelings and research in it. Maybe even some life experiences. Of course there are also some books out there about mental issues that should be taken less seriously because of the (seemingly) lack of effort to sound real, but that was certainly not the case with this book.
It might be of some importance to add that I'm familiar with mental issues. In first and second degree. So it's not that I don't know what to expect, or that I'm sort of clueless when it comes to everything that involves having someone around who's depressed and doesn't want to live any longer. Unfortunately, I do. And the author handled that really well. It felt raw, and real. Alex's thoughts about doing things tomorrow instead of today, about his lack of energy and enthusiasm, his inability to give and pay attention to others, it all sounded real. So that was not my problem.
So what was it then? I think I had a hard time connecting with both Alex and Robin, as well as with the rest of the cast of characters. Also, maybe it was the setting too. As much as I like dogs in real life, I don't like them to be characters in the books I read. And that usually also goes for kids. Maybe I need the story's to be focused on the romance and maybe that was what I missed here too?
It wasn't the writing either. This is a debut book, and it has beautiful writing, and that alone deserves to be mentioned and to be fully appreciated.
But...Ugh, it's a tough case to explain, and so I do believe it's all me and not the book. So, please, read all these 4 and 5 star reviews and don't let me keep you from reading this.
But before you do, be aware of all the triggers here (and there are quite some!), like suicide, suicide attempt and ideation, depression, death of a family member and traumatic childhood.
I'm just really sorry I didn't love this like I thought I would.
I kindly received an ARC from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my voluntarily, honest review
I find it hard to explain why this book didn't work for me the way I hoped it would. And it started off really good, up to a point that I believed I might have found myself another 5 star read. But then it just wasn't and I'm quite bummed about that too, specially because I can not exactly pinpoint where it went wrong.
When a book covers serious mental issues, which is the case here, I also find it very hard to be negative about it, specially when you can tell the author put a lot of thought, feelings and research in it. Maybe even some life experiences. Of course there are also some books out there about mental issues that should be taken less seriously because of the (seemingly) lack of effort to sound real, but that was certainly not the case with this book.
It might be of some importance to add that I'm familiar with mental issues. In first and second degree. So it's not that I don't know what to expect, or that I'm sort of clueless when it comes to everything that involves having someone around who's depressed and doesn't want to live any longer. Unfortunately, I do. And the author handled that really well. It felt raw, and real. Alex's thoughts about doing things tomorrow instead of today, about his lack of energy and enthusiasm, his inability to give and pay attention to others, it all sounded real. So that was not my problem.
So what was it then? I think I had a hard time connecting with both Alex and Robin, as well as with the rest of the cast of characters. Also, maybe it was the setting too. As much as I like dogs in real life, I don't like them to be characters in the books I read. And that usually also goes for kids. Maybe I need the story's to be focused on the romance and maybe that was what I missed here too?
It wasn't the writing either. This is a debut book, and it has beautiful writing, and that alone deserves to be mentioned and to be fully appreciated.
But...Ugh, it's a tough case to explain, and so I do believe it's all me and not the book. So, please, read all these 4 and 5 star reviews and don't let me keep you from reading this.
But before you do, be aware of all the triggers here (and there are quite some!), like suicide, suicide attempt and ideation, depression, death of a family member and traumatic childhood.
I'm just really sorry I didn't love this like I thought I would.
I kindly received an ARC from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my voluntarily, honest review
March 24, 2022
Cudownie i mądrze napisana książka, o życiu po próbie samobójczej.
March 27, 2022
First off, heed the trigger warnings. They are real, and they're the heart of this book, which looks to be the first in a series that centers around the aftermath of a horrific crime. There's suicidal ideation, suicide of a secondary character, depression, anxiety, and for me, more than a few tears.
Alex and Robin are etched in my heart. I admire the way the author handled their relationship and the toll that Alex's mental health took on it, including their sex lives. It's clear from the start that they love each other deeply, but their relationship goes through some major challenges and comes out stronger for it. There IS a HEA, but it isn't easy getting there.
B. Ripley's writing style is gorgeous. They use sentence structure like brushstrokes to help paint the characters. When writing as Alex, whose brother was murdered, much of it is long, stream-of-consciousness sentences that make me feel as if I'm hearing him. Robin's sentences are more compact, though no less impactful. He's holding himself together, and it shows.
If you are looking for a fluffy, feel-good book, look elsewhere, because this isn't it, nor is it filled with hot sex, so if you're looking for smut, keep scrolling. But if you want a beautifully written story about unconditional love and dealing with the emotional and mental aftermath of tragedy, then dive in. Just be sure to have some tissues at hand.
I look forward to the rest of the series.
Alex and Robin are etched in my heart. I admire the way the author handled their relationship and the toll that Alex's mental health took on it, including their sex lives. It's clear from the start that they love each other deeply, but their relationship goes through some major challenges and comes out stronger for it. There IS a HEA, but it isn't easy getting there.
B. Ripley's writing style is gorgeous. They use sentence structure like brushstrokes to help paint the characters. When writing as Alex, whose brother was murdered, much of it is long, stream-of-consciousness sentences that make me feel as if I'm hearing him. Robin's sentences are more compact, though no less impactful. He's holding himself together, and it shows.
If you are looking for a fluffy, feel-good book, look elsewhere, because this isn't it, nor is it filled with hot sex, so if you're looking for smut, keep scrolling. But if you want a beautifully written story about unconditional love and dealing with the emotional and mental aftermath of tragedy, then dive in. Just be sure to have some tissues at hand.
I look forward to the rest of the series.
Read
April 4, 2022RTC but I need to think on this one more before I can review it. Damn did this book impact me in a way that I have no clue how to explain, I just know it took me alone for one hell of a ride and I really enjoyed it.
I received an ARC of this book and this is my honest opinion
I received an ARC of this book and this is my honest opinion
April 7, 2026
⋆˙⟡Pre-read⋆˙⟡: This one I'm excited for.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ I love this one sm, and you will be hearing about it
✧˖°.Post-read✧˖°.: The ending broke my heart; I won't lie. It’s such a beautiful and powerful story that I felt my heart bleeding onto the pages. Alex felt like a different version of me, and I related to him deeply. And Robin was able not only to help him but also to step back and take care of himself. Which is something we often overlook, not just in stories but in the real world. Taking care of someone, we often neglect ourselves, and so the character arc that happened made it so much greater.
⋆˙⟡Favorite Quote⋆˙⟡: “Alex tried to die, but he didn’t. He survived all of the things that made him break and he’s still here, trying his very best.”
✧˖°.Final Thoughts✧˖°.: These books draw me like a moth to a flame. There is just something about them that breaks a part of me and then fixes a different one.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ I love this one sm, and you will be hearing about it
✧˖°.Post-read✧˖°.: The ending broke my heart; I won't lie. It’s such a beautiful and powerful story that I felt my heart bleeding onto the pages. Alex felt like a different version of me, and I related to him deeply. And Robin was able not only to help him but also to step back and take care of himself. Which is something we often overlook, not just in stories but in the real world. Taking care of someone, we often neglect ourselves, and so the character arc that happened made it so much greater.
⋆˙⟡Favorite Quote⋆˙⟡: “Alex tried to die, but he didn’t. He survived all of the things that made him break and he’s still here, trying his very best.”
✧˖°.Final Thoughts✧˖°.: These books draw me like a moth to a flame. There is just something about them that breaks a part of me and then fixes a different one.
June 22, 2022
Super emotional, very touching book about two men - one who lived through the unimaginable and one who loves him with his whole heart. It's a book about picking up the pieces after your life is blown apart, learning to trust again and how to put your heart on the line.
Cannot wait to read the rest of this series!
Cannot wait to read the rest of this series!
April 1, 2022
This is an intense read. It deals with a lot of tough subjects and readers should definitely heed the warnings. That said, this is an absolutely amazing book and one that will stay with you long after the last word.
The following may seem like spoilers but I promise I'm not divulging anything like that. Alex is a broken young man. As a child, his older brother was kidnapped and molested, along with 4 other boys. Two survived - three did not, including Alex's brother. Alex suffers from extreme Chronic Depressive Disorder and, as the book begins, we learn that he tried to take his own life - in the same place and manner as his brother! He is definitely suffering! Robin is Alex's boyfriend and the two live together. Robin is also suffering. He lives in constant fear of getting a call that this time Alex has succeeded in killing himself. He can't help but feel that he could have/should have seen it coming and been able to stop Alex. He has trouble believing that he is enough - his love is enough to make Alex better. From this point, the book is entirely about the two sides of these men's relationship. The chapters alternate points of view so that you get to follow both characters as they fight for their love. Alex has a small support group of friends - which consists of three other brothers of the boys that died - and the two boys that survived. They play a strong background role and add additional points of view to the terrible events that haunt them all. There is no flowery poetry or soft words of romance. The prose is concise - raw and gritty at times. The struggles and heartbreak these men go through will crash through your emotions like a wrecking ball and leave you gasping for breath at times! However, and this is the light in all this, the author manages to weave a glistening thread of hope through the darkness. Alex isn't certain he wants to be alive, but he's fairly certain he doesn't want to be dead. Robin is certain that he doesn't want, that he can't lose Alex but he also knows that he can't continue to live in the fear and dark either. The answer for both might be to find a place "halfway down" - a middle ground where they can find strength and love in each other!
The author does an absolutely amazing job at building the world of these two and bringing the characters to life. As a survivor myself, I knew exactly how Alex felt and the struggles he went through. There was no sugar-coating of the hard subjects and, for me, that made this all the more compelling. Reading Robin's point of view was a real eye opener and I felt like I really understood his side. There is a big emphasis on getting both mental health care and physical, which is as it should be. I would greatly urge anyone that is in a similar place to seek help from professionals and support from loved ones. No one has to go through that alone. To say I loved this book would not do it true justice. This is a tough read, as I stated at the start, but, oh so worth it! The ending is not a typical happy-ever-after. It's a work in progress towards a happy future but it ends with both characters in a much better position to obtain that HEA - together! Really beautifully written!
The following may seem like spoilers but I promise I'm not divulging anything like that. Alex is a broken young man. As a child, his older brother was kidnapped and molested, along with 4 other boys. Two survived - three did not, including Alex's brother. Alex suffers from extreme Chronic Depressive Disorder and, as the book begins, we learn that he tried to take his own life - in the same place and manner as his brother! He is definitely suffering! Robin is Alex's boyfriend and the two live together. Robin is also suffering. He lives in constant fear of getting a call that this time Alex has succeeded in killing himself. He can't help but feel that he could have/should have seen it coming and been able to stop Alex. He has trouble believing that he is enough - his love is enough to make Alex better. From this point, the book is entirely about the two sides of these men's relationship. The chapters alternate points of view so that you get to follow both characters as they fight for their love. Alex has a small support group of friends - which consists of three other brothers of the boys that died - and the two boys that survived. They play a strong background role and add additional points of view to the terrible events that haunt them all. There is no flowery poetry or soft words of romance. The prose is concise - raw and gritty at times. The struggles and heartbreak these men go through will crash through your emotions like a wrecking ball and leave you gasping for breath at times! However, and this is the light in all this, the author manages to weave a glistening thread of hope through the darkness. Alex isn't certain he wants to be alive, but he's fairly certain he doesn't want to be dead. Robin is certain that he doesn't want, that he can't lose Alex but he also knows that he can't continue to live in the fear and dark either. The answer for both might be to find a place "halfway down" - a middle ground where they can find strength and love in each other!
The author does an absolutely amazing job at building the world of these two and bringing the characters to life. As a survivor myself, I knew exactly how Alex felt and the struggles he went through. There was no sugar-coating of the hard subjects and, for me, that made this all the more compelling. Reading Robin's point of view was a real eye opener and I felt like I really understood his side. There is a big emphasis on getting both mental health care and physical, which is as it should be. I would greatly urge anyone that is in a similar place to seek help from professionals and support from loved ones. No one has to go through that alone. To say I loved this book would not do it true justice. This is a tough read, as I stated at the start, but, oh so worth it! The ending is not a typical happy-ever-after. It's a work in progress towards a happy future but it ends with both characters in a much better position to obtain that HEA - together! Really beautifully written!
March 12, 2022
Halfway Down is a beautiful and haunting story. There were times that I just broke for these men, especially Alex. My heart absolutely shattered for him. He was so beautiful and broken and thought he did not deserve the love that Robin was giving him. Robin never left Alex’s side, he stayed by him and Alex couldn’t understand why. He wants to be worthy he just doesn’t know how. Robin has vowed to stand by Alex’s side no matter what. He knows Alex is broken and still loves him anyway. When Alex tries to take his life Robin still stands by his side. He makes sure Alex knows he is not leaving him. Robin showed such bravery and love and strength throughout this book. Even though he was hurting on the inside he still stayed strong for Alex. I admire Robin’s courage and bravery. This was a beautiful story and I am so thankful i had the privilege to read it. I will for sure be reading this book again and i can’t wait for more in this series!
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
POV: 1st Person Dual POV
Standalone or series: Book 1 in the Boys of Horseshoe Lake series
Would I recommend it: 5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ highly recommend!! 🤩
Would I read it again: Most definitely!
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
POV: 1st Person Dual POV
Standalone or series: Book 1 in the Boys of Horseshoe Lake series
Would I recommend it: 5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ highly recommend!! 🤩
Would I read it again: Most definitely!
November 15, 2023
Ended too quickly. The issues seemed unresolved.
March 14, 2022
I think I read somewhere that this is the authors debut book, and if that’s true, congrats on this amazing pearl of a book!
I’ve missed book that rips my heart out and make me sob from hurting because of the journey the characters needs to take, and after reading the blurb of this book, I was hoping it gave me lots of feels! Did it? O yes! Buckets of feels and tears, and I loved every moment!
AMAZING writing about survival and finding the way out of darkness! The reading just flows from the first page, and the writing style hooked me right in. When I feel everything the characters feel and experience, I’m always impressed by the authors talent, and B. Ripley is definitely an author I’m gonna be following in the future.
Both Alex and Robin stole my heart. Loved that we got to be a part of their “after” story. And I’m happy about the HEA!
Can’t wait to see what’s next from this author! Mind the trigger warnings in the blurb….
I’ve missed book that rips my heart out and make me sob from hurting because of the journey the characters needs to take, and after reading the blurb of this book, I was hoping it gave me lots of feels! Did it? O yes! Buckets of feels and tears, and I loved every moment!
AMAZING writing about survival and finding the way out of darkness! The reading just flows from the first page, and the writing style hooked me right in. When I feel everything the characters feel and experience, I’m always impressed by the authors talent, and B. Ripley is definitely an author I’m gonna be following in the future.
Both Alex and Robin stole my heart. Loved that we got to be a part of their “after” story. And I’m happy about the HEA!
Can’t wait to see what’s next from this author! Mind the trigger warnings in the blurb….
April 2, 2022
This book is hard to review. It deals with a lot of serious topics, mainly mental health and depression.
Normally I would love those books if they are written well and this book is written well, so that was not my problem. For a debut novel, it was really good, but I felt throughout the book that I was missing parts of the story.
Alex and Robin are boyfriends since they met on a blind date years before this book begins. Alex suffers from major depressive disorder since his brother was murdered. Some days he can't get out of his bed and some months ago he tried to drown himself.
Robin loves Alex dearly. He is afraid that he will lose Alex and is trying everything to support him and to keep him alive.
The book describes really well how living with depression is not only impacting the one suffering from that ugly disease, but also the ones who love the person suffering from depression.
I loved how the characters interacted with each other. But still, something bothered me with this story. There were just so many questions left and I would love to see how Alexs' and Robins' stories will continue because I think they have much more to tell.
I don't know how this series will continue, but I will find out as soon the next book is out.
*I received this book as an ARC. I chose to leave an honest review.*
Normally I would love those books if they are written well and this book is written well, so that was not my problem. For a debut novel, it was really good, but I felt throughout the book that I was missing parts of the story.
Alex and Robin are boyfriends since they met on a blind date years before this book begins. Alex suffers from major depressive disorder since his brother was murdered. Some days he can't get out of his bed and some months ago he tried to drown himself.
Robin loves Alex dearly. He is afraid that he will lose Alex and is trying everything to support him and to keep him alive.
The book describes really well how living with depression is not only impacting the one suffering from that ugly disease, but also the ones who love the person suffering from depression.
I loved how the characters interacted with each other. But still, something bothered me with this story. There were just so many questions left and I would love to see how Alexs' and Robins' stories will continue because I think they have much more to tell.
I don't know how this series will continue, but I will find out as soon the next book is out.
*I received this book as an ARC. I chose to leave an honest review.*
April 17, 2022
4.5 stars rounded up
Halfway Down is a poignant, well-crafted look at how deeply mental illness affects not just the sufferer but their loved ones as well. Author B. Ripley did a commendable job creating two courageous men and their story of love amidst their pain and suffering. Her portrayal of mental illness is respectful and accurate. She shows how neglect and tragedy shaped Alex's life and dictated his actions decades later.
Robin and Alex were a couple for two years before Alex tried to drown himself the day after he declined Robin's wedding proposal. Alex didn’t feel worthy and couldn’t commit to a future when he was already planning to end his life. The monster inside him that appeared after his brother’s death when they were both children grew too big and powerful to be contained. After two months in a psychiatric hospital, Alex returns home still profoundly sad, “feeling hopeful one moment and hopeless the next.” He has persistent insomnia, lying awake all night trying to psych himself up for the next day. His medication messes with his body, making sex difficult. He feels unproductive, still unworthy of Robin’s love, and hates being abnormal, as he sees himself.
Alex’s story is gut-wrenching, but my heart broke for Robin, too. He's a patient, solid, reliable man who admits it hasn’t always been easy loving Alex over the past six months since his suicide attempt. He wants nothing more than to take away Alex's pain and turmoil and make every day a happy one. But he’s afraid, so very afraid of losing Alex. He has an incessant need to check on Alex and make sure he’s alive. Alex hates that he causes such uncertainty and fear in Robin.
Books with themes of mental illness, like Alex's major depressive disorder, usually explore the subject from the viewpoint of the patient. What makes this story noteworthy is the dual first-person POV which provides the reader with a vital look into Robin’s thoughts and emotions, too. Fortunately, he has a strong support system within his family but he ultimately realizes he needs to put himself first and prioritize his own mental health before he can fully help Alex heal. And Alex does heal when he’s able to empathize with what he’s put Robin through.
“Then we live in the middle…halfway down. Not at the bottom but not at the top. Where you can just be Alex as you are and I’m just Robin as I am and we don’t have to be anything but that. You can want to die in this place, but you can also want to live. You can stay here in the middle, have bad days and good days, and I will be here beside you.”
The book isn’t perfect. It began rough for me, the prose a bit purple with extended metaphors about mountains and avalanches and distracting sentences such as: “Medication was always a bit of a guessing game where I held the questions on my tongue and the answers were written on my bones in hieroglyphics.” This doesn't carry on past the first chapter, fortunately. The story ends on a hopeful note with a lovely epilogue set six months in the future. I thoroughly enjoyed this intense, haunting novel and look forward to the next installment in the Boys of Horseshoe Lake series.
ARC kindly provided to Love Bytes Reviews in exchange for an honest review.
Halfway Down is a poignant, well-crafted look at how deeply mental illness affects not just the sufferer but their loved ones as well. Author B. Ripley did a commendable job creating two courageous men and their story of love amidst their pain and suffering. Her portrayal of mental illness is respectful and accurate. She shows how neglect and tragedy shaped Alex's life and dictated his actions decades later.
Robin and Alex were a couple for two years before Alex tried to drown himself the day after he declined Robin's wedding proposal. Alex didn’t feel worthy and couldn’t commit to a future when he was already planning to end his life. The monster inside him that appeared after his brother’s death when they were both children grew too big and powerful to be contained. After two months in a psychiatric hospital, Alex returns home still profoundly sad, “feeling hopeful one moment and hopeless the next.” He has persistent insomnia, lying awake all night trying to psych himself up for the next day. His medication messes with his body, making sex difficult. He feels unproductive, still unworthy of Robin’s love, and hates being abnormal, as he sees himself.
Alex’s story is gut-wrenching, but my heart broke for Robin, too. He's a patient, solid, reliable man who admits it hasn’t always been easy loving Alex over the past six months since his suicide attempt. He wants nothing more than to take away Alex's pain and turmoil and make every day a happy one. But he’s afraid, so very afraid of losing Alex. He has an incessant need to check on Alex and make sure he’s alive. Alex hates that he causes such uncertainty and fear in Robin.
Books with themes of mental illness, like Alex's major depressive disorder, usually explore the subject from the viewpoint of the patient. What makes this story noteworthy is the dual first-person POV which provides the reader with a vital look into Robin’s thoughts and emotions, too. Fortunately, he has a strong support system within his family but he ultimately realizes he needs to put himself first and prioritize his own mental health before he can fully help Alex heal. And Alex does heal when he’s able to empathize with what he’s put Robin through.
“Then we live in the middle…halfway down. Not at the bottom but not at the top. Where you can just be Alex as you are and I’m just Robin as I am and we don’t have to be anything but that. You can want to die in this place, but you can also want to live. You can stay here in the middle, have bad days and good days, and I will be here beside you.”
The book isn’t perfect. It began rough for me, the prose a bit purple with extended metaphors about mountains and avalanches and distracting sentences such as: “Medication was always a bit of a guessing game where I held the questions on my tongue and the answers were written on my bones in hieroglyphics.” This doesn't carry on past the first chapter, fortunately. The story ends on a hopeful note with a lovely epilogue set six months in the future. I thoroughly enjoyed this intense, haunting novel and look forward to the next installment in the Boys of Horseshoe Lake series.
ARC kindly provided to Love Bytes Reviews in exchange for an honest review.
March 31, 2022
Yes this book has a lot of triggers for some people, but my overall impression of this beautiful written book is love!! Love, hope and strength.
I’m not a big fan of books with established couples, so it took me a while to actually read it. But when I got in to it, I couldn’t stop.
Alex’s brother gets killed when Alex’s is just a child. A trauma that has hounded him ever since.
Robin, Alex’s boyfriend (such a sweetheart) stand by his side to support and love him through the aftermath of Alex’s suicide attempt.
I won’t lie, tears did happen throughout this book. I absolutely love it when a storyline and the characters makes me feel all the feels. And I did. Pain, shame, hurt, fear, hope … and off course all the LOVE! ❤️
One of my favorite parts:
“Then we live in the middle,” he whispered, clinging onto me as I melted into him. “We live in the middle where the stars are just stars and the water is just water. Where Orion and his dogs are a story and the tattoo isn’t a reminder of the time you tried to die, but of the time you fought to live. That’s where we happen. That’s where we are.” “In the middle?” “Halfway down. Not at the bottom but not at the top. Where you can just be Alex as you are and I’m just Robin as I am and we don’t have to be anything but that. You can want to die in this place, but you can also want to live. You can stay here in the middle, have bad days and good days, and I will be here beside you.”
I’m not a big fan of books with established couples, so it took me a while to actually read it. But when I got in to it, I couldn’t stop.
Alex’s brother gets killed when Alex’s is just a child. A trauma that has hounded him ever since.
Robin, Alex’s boyfriend (such a sweetheart) stand by his side to support and love him through the aftermath of Alex’s suicide attempt.
I won’t lie, tears did happen throughout this book. I absolutely love it when a storyline and the characters makes me feel all the feels. And I did. Pain, shame, hurt, fear, hope … and off course all the LOVE! ❤️
One of my favorite parts:
“Then we live in the middle,” he whispered, clinging onto me as I melted into him. “We live in the middle where the stars are just stars and the water is just water. Where Orion and his dogs are a story and the tattoo isn’t a reminder of the time you tried to die, but of the time you fought to live. That’s where we happen. That’s where we are.” “In the middle?” “Halfway down. Not at the bottom but not at the top. Where you can just be Alex as you are and I’m just Robin as I am and we don’t have to be anything but that. You can want to die in this place, but you can also want to live. You can stay here in the middle, have bad days and good days, and I will be here beside you.”
April 1, 2022
Hauntingly beautiful, so sad, but ends hopefully
Please read the trigger warnings because the themes that may trigger run throughout the book and it's not possible to skip over them.
Alex and his friends' lives were changed irrevocably by a frighteningly awful event in their childhoods which continues to haunt them, hovering over them every minute of the day, impossible to escape and completely dominating their actions and thoughts to the detriment of themselves, their mental health, and those around them.
The blurb comprehensively covers where Alex and Robin are at the beginning of the story but didn't prepare me for how it jumps straight in and then doesn't let up until the last page. There is so much love between Alex and Robin but so much pain and sadness too. Alex struggles just trying to get through the day, while Robin cannot breathe when Alex is out of his sight. It's no way to live but the alternative is too close to the surface and raw for both of them.
I won't lie and say that it is an easy read but it was raw and gritty and soulful and painfully real in its depiction of mental illness. The author has put a lot of thought into her characters' struggles and made every sentence meaningful and integral to the story.
The writing was beautiful and poignant and as haunting as the story itself. As a debut novel, I can only marvel at the author's talent to compose a phrase or a paragraph that resonates deeply and touches your heart.
Please read the trigger warnings because the themes that may trigger run throughout the book and it's not possible to skip over them.
Alex and his friends' lives were changed irrevocably by a frighteningly awful event in their childhoods which continues to haunt them, hovering over them every minute of the day, impossible to escape and completely dominating their actions and thoughts to the detriment of themselves, their mental health, and those around them.
The blurb comprehensively covers where Alex and Robin are at the beginning of the story but didn't prepare me for how it jumps straight in and then doesn't let up until the last page. There is so much love between Alex and Robin but so much pain and sadness too. Alex struggles just trying to get through the day, while Robin cannot breathe when Alex is out of his sight. It's no way to live but the alternative is too close to the surface and raw for both of them.
I won't lie and say that it is an easy read but it was raw and gritty and soulful and painfully real in its depiction of mental illness. The author has put a lot of thought into her characters' struggles and made every sentence meaningful and integral to the story.
The writing was beautiful and poignant and as haunting as the story itself. As a debut novel, I can only marvel at the author's talent to compose a phrase or a paragraph that resonates deeply and touches your heart.
June 6, 2023
Alex owns my heart
It's been a minute since I literally cried reading a book. And this one had me in tears. Wasn't the best idea to read while at work 😅
I couldn't help but reach out to Breanna about these boys !!
First of all. I just love authors who aren't afraid to tackle characters struggling with their mental health. And this one follows Alex who struggles with his demons from past trauma and severe depression. Being inside the mind of Alex while he was struggling was insane. I felt every emotion he was feeling. The pain was real and his story really pulled me in wanting me to wrap him in huge hugs. Lucky for him he had the big sweet Robin by his side never giving up on him. The way she writes Alex, you could feel everything he and the other boys are going through.
This book is very plot driven. Not just a sweet romance. The whole thing from start to finish had me not wanting to put my kindle down. This is going to be an incredible series. The side characters were just as intriguing as the main characters and I can't wait to read more about them.
A MUST read for 2023. Wish there was more than 5 stars . Alex and the boys of horseshoe lake own my heart for the foreseeable future
It's been a minute since I literally cried reading a book. And this one had me in tears. Wasn't the best idea to read while at work 😅
I couldn't help but reach out to Breanna about these boys !!
First of all. I just love authors who aren't afraid to tackle characters struggling with their mental health. And this one follows Alex who struggles with his demons from past trauma and severe depression. Being inside the mind of Alex while he was struggling was insane. I felt every emotion he was feeling. The pain was real and his story really pulled me in wanting me to wrap him in huge hugs. Lucky for him he had the big sweet Robin by his side never giving up on him. The way she writes Alex, you could feel everything he and the other boys are going through.
This book is very plot driven. Not just a sweet romance. The whole thing from start to finish had me not wanting to put my kindle down. This is going to be an incredible series. The side characters were just as intriguing as the main characters and I can't wait to read more about them.
A MUST read for 2023. Wish there was more than 5 stars . Alex and the boys of horseshoe lake own my heart for the foreseeable future
March 31, 2022
This story is in no way a hea romance. It deals with mental illness. There are parts that are romance in that Robin’s love for Alex to the point of him driving himself crazy and Alex’s love for Robin, which is never questioned. It is the dealing of these two men dealing with Alex’s depression. I feel the author handled the relationship extremely well. I also feel that the problems Alex faces are defined so that I felt a lot of Robin’s frustration. I believe that the conversation Robin had with his dad was one of the best pieces of advice he could have got and the fact he acted on it made me feel Robin had a chance of living and not just being on edge waiting for something to happen with Alex. Even though this is not a hea, I do see this as a satisfied for now. This is a issue these men will have to deal with the rest of their lives. It does give the small hope that they have found a workable lifestyle that deals with both sides. If you are a person already dealing with this I don’t advise this story because I feel it is more bringing to light the issue rather than turning it into a answer that everything is wonderful.
July 7, 2024
I finished Halfway Down a few days ago and took a moment to process my thoughts. This book. Phew!
This story was wrenching, but ultimately life affirming.
Alex has been through a lot. A traumatic childhood loss left him abandoned and alone. Even finding love with Robin couldn’t keep the darkness at bay. Halfway Down deals with the aftermath of that dark moment. He’s a complicated man, but he has moments where he knows he’s crossed a line. His regret at how he’s treated Robin shows his humanity. You will root for this battered soul and want him to find the peace he so deserves.
Robin is such a darling man. He loves Alex so much, even as he fears for their future. You just want to give him a hug and tell him it will be OK.
This book has some dark themes - heed the trigger warnings. But know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Two men, one who feels irreparably broken, face the challenges that come with a desperate decision that changed everything.
The writing is beautiful. And the exploration of the toll a mental health crisis takes on a relationship is visceral and vivid.
There is healing. Growth. And love. So much love.
Unforgettable.
This story was wrenching, but ultimately life affirming.
Alex has been through a lot. A traumatic childhood loss left him abandoned and alone. Even finding love with Robin couldn’t keep the darkness at bay. Halfway Down deals with the aftermath of that dark moment. He’s a complicated man, but he has moments where he knows he’s crossed a line. His regret at how he’s treated Robin shows his humanity. You will root for this battered soul and want him to find the peace he so deserves.
Robin is such a darling man. He loves Alex so much, even as he fears for their future. You just want to give him a hug and tell him it will be OK.
This book has some dark themes - heed the trigger warnings. But know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Two men, one who feels irreparably broken, face the challenges that come with a desperate decision that changed everything.
The writing is beautiful. And the exploration of the toll a mental health crisis takes on a relationship is visceral and vivid.
There is healing. Growth. And love. So much love.
Unforgettable.
March 29, 2022
This is an impressive novel and one of the best written depictions of depression/mental Illness have read. It portrays the insidious nature of depression in a raw and beautifully haunting way. My heart was absolutely torn in two for Alex and Robin. I was so affected by Alex and that's a testament to B. Ripley's writing. The ability to personify Alex's character and seemingly relate the readers and create a profound empathy for his struggles. This is painful, brutal and agonisingly honest. This is the story of two men's struggle to weather the storm and Robin's support and love was extremely heartwarming and their story will stay with me long after reading it. There are some serious trigger warnings in Halfway Down that shouldn't be overlooked e.g. suicide, suicide ideation and attempt, depression, death of a family member and traumatic childhood (kidnapping, molestation, murder - mentioned without graphic detail).
I kindly received an ARC from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my voluntarily, honest review.
I kindly received an ARC from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my voluntarily, honest review.
March 29, 2022
OK, if you've read the blurb you've seen the trigger warnings - please pay attention to them. They're definitely there for a reason.
It's an odd thing to write a review extolling the sweetness of a book where poor mental health and emotional unrest drive so much of the interaction between the main characters, but there you go! Robin and Alex both have so many fears and complex issues to deal with, but their love for each other is clear to see and, though the path is far from smooth, there's a lot of hope for a better future at the end.
I genuinely think the only reason this balance of sweetness and angst works so well is the obvious amount of empathy and understanding the author has for the topic of mental health. Whether through research or shared/personal experience, the foundation is there for showing what true strength and resilience are and how they're woven through a romantic relationship in this setting.
I really liked this and especially loved the concept of the 'halfway down' of the title. I'm definitely intrigued to see what's in store for the rest of the Boys From Horseshoe Lake. 4*
An ARC was provided by GRR. This is my honest review.
It's an odd thing to write a review extolling the sweetness of a book where poor mental health and emotional unrest drive so much of the interaction between the main characters, but there you go! Robin and Alex both have so many fears and complex issues to deal with, but their love for each other is clear to see and, though the path is far from smooth, there's a lot of hope for a better future at the end.
I genuinely think the only reason this balance of sweetness and angst works so well is the obvious amount of empathy and understanding the author has for the topic of mental health. Whether through research or shared/personal experience, the foundation is there for showing what true strength and resilience are and how they're woven through a romantic relationship in this setting.
I really liked this and especially loved the concept of the 'halfway down' of the title. I'm definitely intrigued to see what's in store for the rest of the Boys From Horseshoe Lake. 4*
An ARC was provided by GRR. This is my honest review.
March 30, 2022
I’m still a little stunned with this book, it was so intense and raw! So many feelings and I’m heartbroken with every character of this story. This book have some triggers warning that are hard to read.
Were to start, uffff….. This story is for both Alex and Robin POV. Alex’s older brother was just a kid when he was kidnapped and murdered and it wasn’t just him, there were other kids too. Since then Alex has struggle with depression and can’t cope with what happened to his brother and his friends his parents also weren’t there for him.
Robin is an amazing boyfriend, he also struggle with how he can help Alex after everything he’s been through. He was so strong and vulnerable when comes of Alex and his health. Watching Alex struggle was so hard, you just want to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be ok…you can feel his desperation, his doubts, sadness and guilt…. I cry so him so much! Robin was his mountain, he was to be good for him but he don’t know how, he can’t express what he is feeling. I love Robin and his love for Alex, always supportive, his fears were so real and painful. This was a very emotional and hard journey, but with a HEA!
Were to start, uffff….. This story is for both Alex and Robin POV. Alex’s older brother was just a kid when he was kidnapped and murdered and it wasn’t just him, there were other kids too. Since then Alex has struggle with depression and can’t cope with what happened to his brother and his friends his parents also weren’t there for him.
Robin is an amazing boyfriend, he also struggle with how he can help Alex after everything he’s been through. He was so strong and vulnerable when comes of Alex and his health. Watching Alex struggle was so hard, you just want to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be ok…you can feel his desperation, his doubts, sadness and guilt…. I cry so him so much! Robin was his mountain, he was to be good for him but he don’t know how, he can’t express what he is feeling. I love Robin and his love for Alex, always supportive, his fears were so real and painful. This was a very emotional and hard journey, but with a HEA!
April 21, 2022
Alex and Robin ❤️
3.5 Stars
Ok so, I have been trying to formulate my feelings this book but I'm finding it very hard to articulate...here goes....
This was heavy, very heavy....if certain subject matter gets you down, I would most definitely pay close attention to the trigger warnings. The majority of this book had me feeling emotional, I shared so much empathy toward this couple, both together and individually. Even though imo this book was a very tough read, it was a heartfelt, deep and beautiful love story in the end. If your a lover of deep, emotional and tough stories...this one is it!! I'd recommend for sure but it is certainly not a light and fluffy love story by any means.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
3.5 Stars
Ok so, I have been trying to formulate my feelings this book but I'm finding it very hard to articulate...here goes....
This was heavy, very heavy....if certain subject matter gets you down, I would most definitely pay close attention to the trigger warnings. The majority of this book had me feeling emotional, I shared so much empathy toward this couple, both together and individually. Even though imo this book was a very tough read, it was a heartfelt, deep and beautiful love story in the end. If your a lover of deep, emotional and tough stories...this one is it!! I'd recommend for sure but it is certainly not a light and fluffy love story by any means.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
March 28, 2022
Wow. Just...wow. I loved this book from start to finish. The emotion was off the page. Alex and Robin, and the other boys who made appearances, fit so well together in all thier darkest ways. This book has everything a far, emotional read needs. Plot, emotion, and not much sex (sex is overrated anyways)
The way the B writes the depression for Alex, and even Robin, is written in a way that shows so much more than anyone could ever realize.
I've found my newest favorite author who I'm going to be stalking everywhere I can. Thank you for writing such a great read!
The way the B writes the depression for Alex, and even Robin, is written in a way that shows so much more than anyone could ever realize.
I've found my newest favorite author who I'm going to be stalking everywhere I can. Thank you for writing such a great read!
March 31, 2022
This was a fantastic read that brought me to tears several times throughout the story, heed the triggers. Alex and Robin felt so realistic to me. This is the first time I had read this authors work, yes I know she’s new but her writing is beautiful and poignant. The story hooked me! Overall, a fantastic read! The story was really well written, the pacing flowed smoothly, highly recommend. I’m voluntarily reviewing from an advanced copy that I received. My review is solely based on my thoughts and opinions.
December 30, 2022
If you know me, you know I LOVE emotional wreckage. I legitimately crave the pain as much as the steam. Well, B Ripley has completely shattered me with this beautiful story. You will be swept away by the immeasurable love and raw, deep rooted pain Alex and Robin experience. Halfway Down is a TBR must.
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What I LOVED:
🖤 COMMUNICATION
🖤 The soul crushing writing
🖤 Established relationship
🖤 The tattoos
🖤 THE ENDING
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PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. This book is heavy and triggering themes throughout its entirety.
.
What I LOVED:
🖤 COMMUNICATION
🖤 The soul crushing writing
🖤 Established relationship
🖤 The tattoos
🖤 THE ENDING
.
PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. This book is heavy and triggering themes throughout its entirety.
October 19, 2024
Wow! What a great book! The author did a great job dealing with many very difficult subjects. This book is a dark read. Note the trigger/content warnings. Definitely have tissues handy. This is the first book I've read by this author. I look forward to reading more of this author's books. I do wonder if there will be more in this series? I do hope so despite the fact that this was a heartwrenching read, but an excellent read and well worth reading. I recommend this book.
April 1, 2022
emotional story
This book is a really beautiful and interesting story about two men in love struggling to find a new balance to their lives after an attempted suicide and all the struggles that come with depression and trust after the event they’re are some really great moments and really hard moments and I enjoyed all of them it was a really great story
This book is a really beautiful and interesting story about two men in love struggling to find a new balance to their lives after an attempted suicide and all the struggles that come with depression and trust after the event they’re are some really great moments and really hard moments and I enjoyed all of them it was a really great story
April 3, 2022
So much emotional pain in this one but also so much love. The author was particularly good at capturing Robin's fear that if he let down his guard for a moment, he'd lose Alex forever. That unbearable tension of feeling responsible for another person that you love so much, want to save and make whole but know you can't do it all. And Alex just broke my heart.
April 1, 2022
He is broken and feel unable to love himself let alone anyone else. His brother died when he was young and his parents seemed to turn their back on him. They appear and he knows he is so unworthy of that love. Will they ever be a couple? Can they save each other? See if they can
April 2, 2022
I really loved this book. The struggle is so real for Alex and Robin and so many others. They each had things they needed to work out together and alone to be able to have a life.
I received an advanced copy of this book and was not required to leave a review.
I received an advanced copy of this book and was not required to leave a review.
June 30, 2022
Painfully Beautiful
Prepare to be blown away...And traumatized. The awful experience these men have gone through will pierce your heart. Only the deep love they feel for each other gives you hope.
Prepare to be blown away...And traumatized. The awful experience these men have gone through will pierce your heart. Only the deep love they feel for each other gives you hope.
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