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Scissors
Daphne hates her penis. When the National Health Service denies her an operation to remove the offensive organ, she takes matters into her own hands. But as she’ll soon discover, some cocks won’t go down without a bloody fight.
- GenresHorrorBizarro Fiction
ebook
Published March 5, 2022
93 people want to read
About the author
Simon McHardy
43 books290 followersSimon McHardy is the author of the infamous MOTHER MAGGOT. He lives a reclusive life in Tasmania Australia. Due to the extreme nature of his books, most are exclusive to Godless.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
March 5, 2022
I need antibiotics from this harrowing vicarious experience. Some advice: keep your bedroom door locked. And stuff a towel under it, too. You never know when a lonely piece of anatomy will flounce in through your cat door. McHarHawk, keep 'em coming!
March 27, 2022
I was very excited to read Scissors and I wasn’t disappointed. This story by Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker is, their most disconcerting one because of the seriousness of the subject matter, in my opinion.
Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker show us how talented they are by making us laugh at a grave subject. It’s about Daphne, who has been denied her gender reassignment surgery due to budgetary restraints, and that her motivation had been deemed non essential. From the start I was saddened by Daphne situation. And like her I was furious about those "Transphobic cunts". So she decided to take matters in her own hand. Poor Colin he didn’t understand why Daphne didn’t want him anymore, he was with her all these years and he was very supportive. He thought they were friends!🥺
This story is well written, with hilarious characters. Sorry Daphne, but Colin is my favorite. Grandpa is awesome too, he likes juicy French round bottoms.😆
From start to finish the story is flawless. Splatterpunk fans will love it. It’s bloody, gorey, and gross. At the end it was so over the top gross it was hilarious.🤣
Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker show us how talented they are by making us laugh at a grave subject. It’s about Daphne, who has been denied her gender reassignment surgery due to budgetary restraints, and that her motivation had been deemed non essential. From the start I was saddened by Daphne situation. And like her I was furious about those "Transphobic cunts". So she decided to take matters in her own hand. Poor Colin he didn’t understand why Daphne didn’t want him anymore, he was with her all these years and he was very supportive. He thought they were friends!🥺
This story is well written, with hilarious characters. Sorry Daphne, but Colin is my favorite. Grandpa is awesome too, he likes juicy French round bottoms.😆
From start to finish the story is flawless. Splatterpunk fans will love it. It’s bloody, gorey, and gross. At the end it was so over the top gross it was hilarious.🤣
March 24, 2022
McHawk (get it, my-cock) offer up another brutal and nasty story. It was everything I expected from these sick fucks and I loved every snip. Not for the squeamish, but a seasoned extreme horror reader will be fine.
March 9, 2022
Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of McHardy and Hawker’s Scissors lies in the fact that this graphic and gross piece of bloody body horror stands as a not-so-subtle indictment of the National Health Service's inherent prejudice toward the LGBTQ+ community. But, in their own seamless style, this dastardly duo of depravity manages to bring a little lightheartedness (or very dark humor) to the plight of those seeking gender affirming surgery by cleverly bringing to light the overwhelming desperation faced by individuals seeking to change the body they were born into. When Daphne is denied the vaginoplasty she assumed was a sure thing, she literally takes matters into her own unsteady hands with cringeworthy results. With an abandoned, sexually insatiable, now undead version of her formerly attached little head bent on getting his randy revenge, the absurdity of the situation fluctuates between silly and sad. These naughty boys are at their best here with an entertaining and timely, yet way-too-short story that's a gonzo grotesquerie of genital mutilation and gender identity.
April 1, 2022
I went into this knowing this duo was extreme and this tale had me at the first line. The story has an extreme, haunting realism with McHardy/Hawker's usual splatter nature. Not recommended for weak stomach or soft-minded people, but highly recommended for the voyeur into a lifestyle that some in this blindfolded world will never understand. Great job! I look forward to more!
April 29, 2022
Note to self…. 🗣Don’t read this duo without a change of pants! This is my second Hawker/McHardy story. I am not the least bit disappointed. If you need a laugh these two are sure to bring you into hysterics.
March 6, 2022
Aaaaaand they're back!!!! The gruesome twosome that are McHardy/Hawker just get better and better!!
This was like a completely bizarre, surreal, horrific, painful acid trip!! And I loved it!!
If you've seen the film 'The Hand' think that, but its not a hand, and his name is Colin!!!!
Once again McHardy/Hawker had me howling with laughter, cringing in pain and vomming in my mouth!! 🤢😂 Thats a good thing in my world!
This was a brutal, fun, brilliantly fucked up revenge story, a revenge story like no other, a revenge story with BALLS!!!! 🤘😵💫🤘
A solid 5/5 severing scissors!! ✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️
This was like a completely bizarre, surreal, horrific, painful acid trip!! And I loved it!!
If you've seen the film 'The Hand' think that, but its not a hand, and his name is Colin!!!!
Once again McHardy/Hawker had me howling with laughter, cringing in pain and vomming in my mouth!! 🤢😂 Thats a good thing in my world!
This was a brutal, fun, brilliantly fucked up revenge story, a revenge story like no other, a revenge story with BALLS!!!! 🤘😵💫🤘
A solid 5/5 severing scissors!! ✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️
March 5, 2022
Mchardy and Hawker are back with more gross shenanigans. This one was both funny and a teeny but sad.
Colin cracked me up. This was a massacre that will have crossing your legs and cherishing your bits and bobs.
Colin cracked me up. This was a massacre that will have crossing your legs and cherishing your bits and bobs.
March 6, 2022
I’m not sure what to say…
I bought it, read it, laughed and um yep, really said, holy crap!
These two are dynamite together. But Sean is really gunning to beat his master!
I bought it, read it, laughed and um yep, really said, holy crap!
These two are dynamite together. But Sean is really gunning to beat his master!
April 29, 2022
I don’t even know how to describe this story lol. But if you’re thinking of reading it. Just do it. You won’t be disappointed.
March 5, 2022
Just when you think McHardy and Hawker can’t possibly get more daring, they do. Scissors is a very daring story. Yes, the gore and graphic content are what one expects of these two extreme horror masters, intense and cringe-worthy and exclaim-out-loud impactful, but that’s not what I mean. I mean the story itself, the subject matter.
As the synopsis says, this is a story about Daphne, who hates her penis and ends up having to take matters in her own hands. It’s a daring story to tell, not only because it is about the transgender experience but also because it is about a part of that experience people don’t generally consider. It’s a story about the mental and emotional impact of gender reassignment, the duality of freedom and loss associated with body changes. It’s a story of hope and horror and anguish.
Scissors is a brutal and gore-drenched Splatterpunk tale about self that will cross all your mental boundaries and leave you mentally and emotionally spent. It satisfies your need for entertaining horror and moves you to feel for the main character, moves you to feel things you don’t expect to feel. It’s a Splatterpunk gem and not to be missed!
As the synopsis says, this is a story about Daphne, who hates her penis and ends up having to take matters in her own hands. It’s a daring story to tell, not only because it is about the transgender experience but also because it is about a part of that experience people don’t generally consider. It’s a story about the mental and emotional impact of gender reassignment, the duality of freedom and loss associated with body changes. It’s a story of hope and horror and anguish.
Scissors is a brutal and gore-drenched Splatterpunk tale about self that will cross all your mental boundaries and leave you mentally and emotionally spent. It satisfies your need for entertaining horror and moves you to feel for the main character, moves you to feel things you don’t expect to feel. It’s a Splatterpunk gem and not to be missed!
March 6, 2022
The challenge with extreme horror is getting the balance between gore, plot and character. Too much of any one of those elements and the house of cards comes tumbling down as too gory, too plot heavy or too character driven.
Scissors manages to negotiate that balancing act with remarkable skill.
McHardy and Hawker convey Daphne’s story with sensitivity but never shy away from the in-your-face brutality at the centre of this wickedly entertaining dark tale. When the story takes a surreal turn the authors convey the fantastical with the same pragmatic delivery that makes it seem all the more real. Definitely worth reading if you like your horror extreme and your descriptions strong enough to make you cross your legs.
Scissors manages to negotiate that balancing act with remarkable skill.
McHardy and Hawker convey Daphne’s story with sensitivity but never shy away from the in-your-face brutality at the centre of this wickedly entertaining dark tale. When the story takes a surreal turn the authors convey the fantastical with the same pragmatic delivery that makes it seem all the more real. Definitely worth reading if you like your horror extreme and your descriptions strong enough to make you cross your legs.
March 11, 2022
DIY- want a job done right, do,it yourself. Then do yourself. And there’s a cat 🐈.
March 11, 2022
When the National Health Service rejects a trans femme her request to have a vaginoplasty performed, Daphne's state of mind takes one hell of a hit. Already prone to self-harm and taking her frustrations out on herself, this blow might be the last straw.
But what happens if the offending penis doesn't want to go without a fight?
What follows is both heartbreaking and ridiculously gruesome, as one might expect from the pairing of Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker. In true McHardy and Hawker fashion, these two provide a graphic and absurdly over-the-top argument in favor of gender reassignment surgeries being more readily available to those suffering from gender dysphoria. Of course, this is not for the squeamish.
As strange as it might seem, I almost think this should be recommended to anyone with transgender friends or family, or those hoping to understand why it's important to treat transgender health concerns (both mental and physiological) as seriously as any others.
But what happens if the offending penis doesn't want to go without a fight?
What follows is both heartbreaking and ridiculously gruesome, as one might expect from the pairing of Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker. In true McHardy and Hawker fashion, these two provide a graphic and absurdly over-the-top argument in favor of gender reassignment surgeries being more readily available to those suffering from gender dysphoria. Of course, this is not for the squeamish.
As strange as it might seem, I almost think this should be recommended to anyone with transgender friends or family, or those hoping to understand why it's important to treat transgender health concerns (both mental and physiological) as seriously as any others.
March 5, 2022
edit: upped to 4 stars after some thinkin'
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without giving too much away, Daphne is a trans woman who wants to have bottom surgery, but health organizations keep denying her, so she, as the synopsis says, "takes matters into her own hands".
this short story was gross, well-written, and hilarious (to me).
at first i didn't know what i thought about it because it was so weird, but after some thought, some parts of the story kept popping up in my mind (and making me laugh) and i realized i actually did enjoy the ride!
another strange, out there, and heinous story from Mchardy and Hawker.
i'd recommend this one for sure.
-----
without giving too much away, Daphne is a trans woman who wants to have bottom surgery, but health organizations keep denying her, so she, as the synopsis says, "takes matters into her own hands".
this short story was gross, well-written, and hilarious (to me).
at first i didn't know what i thought about it because it was so weird, but after some thought, some parts of the story kept popping up in my mind (and making me laugh) and i realized i actually did enjoy the ride!
another strange, out there, and heinous story from Mchardy and Hawker.
i'd recommend this one for sure.
December 3, 2022
paging Dr. Cutchacockoff...
March 5, 2022
Oh I do love a McHardy - Hawker story 😁
Poor Colin, he just needed a little love 😂😂😂
Poor Colin, he just needed a little love 😂😂😂
March 3, 2022
Releasing March 5, 2022. Available at www.godless.com & www.pottersgrovepress.com
March 8, 2022
When Daphne gets turned down for gender reassignment surgery, in a drunken stupor she decides to take matters into her own hands, burying her manhood in the garden so the surgeons have no choice but to give her what she wants.
But somethings won’t stay buried….
This is an extreme splatterpunk horror not for the faint-hearted.
It’s short, but is no less shocking for the little time it takes to read this book.
As a horror writer myself, there were moments where even I flinched and felt a little uncomfortable with what I was reading - and if that’s not a glowing recommendation, I don’t know what is.
But somethings won’t stay buried….
This is an extreme splatterpunk horror not for the faint-hearted.
It’s short, but is no less shocking for the little time it takes to read this book.
As a horror writer myself, there were moments where even I flinched and felt a little uncomfortable with what I was reading - and if that’s not a glowing recommendation, I don’t know what is.
March 8, 2022
I get the point of this story but honestly this shit made my junk hurt😆😆😆😆. These two never disappoint but the ending made me kinda sad but still a awesome crazy gory read. I want more from McHardy and Hawker cuz they rule
March 9, 2022
Oh, man. This cut deep. Horrifically hilarious!
May 20, 2022
McHardy and Hawker make an awesome team!
May 21, 2024
Another extremely wild story by McHardy and Hawker!
This one is just hard to put into words haha. I'm sitting here trying to review this, but it's hard. Let's just say I hope your penis doesn't have a mind of its own!
3/5
This one is just hard to put into words haha. I'm sitting here trying to review this, but it's hard. Let's just say I hope your penis doesn't have a mind of its own!
3/5
April 10, 2022
Hawker and McHardy are a match made of pure filth and bliss.
Happy Reading and Splatter On.....
Happy Reading and Splatter On.....
March 10, 2022
¡Noooooooo!! Hasta en dos ocasiones pensé que no podría acabar el relato por las arcadas. Ya nada detiene a estos tipos en su ascenso al Everest de las perversiones.
August 20, 2023
Short, hard, and fast like literary grindcore. This was a squirming read for me, as it will be for anyone who has a penis and testicles. It grabs you by the balls and dares you not to vomit. I'll admit, I did gag during this wondering if this would be the first book ever to make me puke.
I won't spoil the ending, though you should be able to taste it's chunks It left me with a hyper awareness of my genitals
I won't spoil the ending, though you should be able to taste it's chunks It left me with a hyper awareness of my genitals
August 22, 2023
Daphne is tired of having a penis, and the healthcare system won't approve the surgery to have it removed. So her penis, whom she calls Colin, is removed by a pair of her own scissors and buried in her backyard. This angers Colin and the insanity begins. Another hilarious story from the duo who always push the boundaries. Laugh outloud funny shenanigans and over-the-top insanity. Don't miss it! Check it out on Godless!
5 severed fingers out of 5
5 severed fingers out of 5
June 16, 2022
This story was so damn funny, and it kept getting more disturbing every page. McHardy & Hawker are the perfect Duo.
May 8, 2023
dont really do well with body horror and this did a damn good job at making me squirm
February 16, 2023
An awesome, quick read!
He’s a he but wants to be a she. What’s a girl to do? Hmm..dangly man bits plus a pair of scissors.... That ought to do the trick, right? Oh, but those best laid plans! The “big head” has one idea, but the “little head” has plans of its own. Fasten your seatbelts, folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
I won’t lie, this is a crazy, sick and twisted story and I seriously enjoyed every minute of it! It is well-written and there are some totally nasty and disturbing scenes. One nearly had me gagging. I can imagine this story might be especially uncomfortable for male readers, though there is equal opportunity squirming once the main character’s anatomy has been “altered.” I won’t go into details, but wow—just so delightfully revolting! Suspension of disbelief is required but it’s that type of story, after all. I recommend this quick read to all lovers of vile and extreme horror.
He’s a he but wants to be a she. What’s a girl to do? Hmm..dangly man bits plus a pair of scissors.... That ought to do the trick, right? Oh, but those best laid plans! The “big head” has one idea, but the “little head” has plans of its own. Fasten your seatbelts, folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
I won’t lie, this is a crazy, sick and twisted story and I seriously enjoyed every minute of it! It is well-written and there are some totally nasty and disturbing scenes. One nearly had me gagging. I can imagine this story might be especially uncomfortable for male readers, though there is equal opportunity squirming once the main character’s anatomy has been “altered.” I won’t go into details, but wow—just so delightfully revolting! Suspension of disbelief is required but it’s that type of story, after all. I recommend this quick read to all lovers of vile and extreme horror.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews