I Was Better Last Night: A Memoir

by Harvey Fierstein

A revealing, poignant, and hilarious memoir from the cultural icon, gay rights activist, and four-time Tony Award winner.


Harvey Fierstein's stellar career has taken him from Broadway to Hollywood and back. He's received accolades and awards for acting--Hairspray, Fiddler, Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day--and writing: La Cage Aux Folle, Torch Song Trilogy (for which he also won a Tony for acting) and Kinky Boots. But while he is widely known as one of today's most peerless performers, Harvey has never shared his own story until now.

He takes us from his childhood in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn--born in 1954, he was an eccentric, musical-loving boy--to performing in Andy Warhol's Pork at LaMama in 1971, to becoming an outspoken advocate for gay rights to his soaring career on Broadway and in Hollywood. And Harvey's candid recollections give us, as well, a rich picture of downtown New York City life and gay culture, the evolution of theater over the course of his career, and a moving account of his family's journey of acceptance. I Was Better Last Night is filled with wisdom gained, mistakes made, and stories that come together to describe an extraordinarily colorful, entertaining, and meaningful life. Luckily for us all, his wonderfully unique and recognizable voice is as engaging, funny, and vulnerable on the page.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Biography, LGBT, Biography Memoir, Humor

12 pages, Audible Audio

First published March 1, 2022

About the author

Harvey Fierstein is an acclaimed American actor, playwright, and screenwriter known for his unmistakable gravelly voice and groundbreaking work in theatre, film, and television. He first rose to prominence with Torch Song Trilogy, which he wrote and starred in, earning Tony Awards for both Best Play and Best Actor in a Play. Fierstein followed with another major success, writing the Tony-winning book for the musical La Cage aux Folles, and later won Best Actor in a Musical for playing Edna Turnblad in Hairspray, a role he reprised for Hairspray Live!.
In addition to his acting accolades, Fierstein wrote the books for Broadway musicals such as Kinky Boots, Newsies, and A Catered Affair, continuing to shape musical theatre with stories that center empathy and inclusion. He has been widely recognized for bringing LGBTQ+ narratives to mainstream audiences and was inducted into the American Theater Hall of Fame in 2007.
Fierstein’s screen work includes memorable roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, and voicing Yao in Disney’s Mulan. A versatile performer and vocal activist, he has authored op-eds and scripts that champion visibility and equality. His 2022 memoir, I Was Better Last Night, became a New York Times Bestseller and offered personal reflections on his identity, career, and survival.
Openly gay since early in his career, Fierstein has long been a pioneer in LGBTQ+ representation on stage and screen. Though he resists labeling his gender identity, he embraces his unique experience, saying, “I’m comfortable being me.” His influence remains vital to American culture and theatre.

Reviews

[Doug · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I've been aware of and generally admiring of his work for decades, I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a huge fan of the author. I've read and seen his work performed but have only seen him live on stage once - during the tour of 'Fiddler on the Roof', where he was a surprisingly good, if anachronistic, Tevye, despite his less than mellifluous singing voice. I didn't know a lot about him personally but thought his memoir might be an interesting read - and boy, howdy!

Luckily, Mr. F. doesn't spend an inordinate amount of time on his childhood and gets right to the heart of the matter quickly, as he discovers his passion for theatre in his late teens. His quirky outings in the off-off-Broadway scene, including stints in the Warhol crowd's productions are fascinating, and he breaks through rather quickly in my good friend Robert Patrick's The Haunted Host, and then with his own writing, most notably what eventually became the international sensation Torch Song Trilogy. I wasn't aware of much else he had done, other than when he returned two decades later as the book doctor and star of the huge musical hit Hairspray.

But this book filled in the gaps, and he actually was quite prolific, led a really interesting life with the usual struggles and triumphs. Mainly this book gives a very clear picture of the warm and lovable mensch behind the created persona, and garnered some newfound respect for what he accomplished as an LGBTQ pioneer. It's not overly gossipy, but does contain a lot of very juicy anecdotes, and the pictures are priceless. I hope this gathers a lot of new fans for the author, and wouldn't be surprised to find a couple more literary prizes to go on his shelves from it.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harvey Fierstein is a national treasure and this book serves to cement that status.

[Jennifer Schultz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I am familiar with Harvey Fierstein's major Broadway work in Hairspray and Torch Song Trilogy, I quickly realized that I was very unfamiliar with his groundbreaking early career. Fierstein's hilarious, eye-opening, bittersweet, and powerful memoir is a rank above your everyday celebrity memoir; not only is this an entertaining theatrical memoir, but it's also a remarkable portrait of the emerging LGBTQ+ pre and post-Stonewall community, as well as the ravages it faced during the height of the AIDS epidemic.

Librarians/booksellers: A must read for Broadway fanatics! Purchase for your patrons/customers who enjoy frank memoirs. This will likely receive major publicity.

Many thanks to Knopf Doubleday and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Harvey Fierstein is a fascinating character. His biography is as open and honest as a biography can be. He writes about what it was to be gay in the 1960’s & 70’s and the complications of ‘coming out’.

Mr. Fierstein chronicles his career from beginning to end – hits and misses, triumph, tragedy and everything in between. I’ve never seen him perform live and because I am not familiar with Broadway and the theatre scene many names meant nothing to me, but I enjoyed it anyway.

I love his voice and even though I was not listening to the audio of his book I could hear his voice in my head, clear as day, as I read his words. I have watched the movie “Torch Song Trilogy” at least 10 times and his appearance in “Mrs. Doubtfire” is unforgettable.

This line is one to keep in mind: “The jockey never recalls using a whip. The horse never forgets.” (Pg.62)

Harvey Fierstein is a fascinating character and I think his book is wonderful

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was enthralled from start to finish. Harvey not only had a magnificent theatrical journey, but also a journey dealing with his sexual identity from the 1950’s to present day America. I realized how much theater we have shared and how much of his work I’ve taken for granted, sorry Harvey.

Reading the backstories of his productions coupled with his own emotional story kept me mesmerized throughout the book. Insights into the lives of some of my idols was enthralling. Following the genesis and evolution of La Cage was especially thrilling, since I’ve never missed an iteration of the show.

Reading memoirs isn’t always as satisfying as his since it’s less a chronological retelling of events and more an invitation into the psyche of my brilliant, Jewish meshpocha. Bravo!

Thank you Netgalley for this very delightful ARC.

[Jack Nix · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose to listen to the audiobook version, and I'm so glad I did! Fierstein delivers all the stories you want to hear about (backstage dish on Torch Song Trilogy, La Cage aux Folles, Hairspray, etc), but also paints an electrifying picture of the art scene of 1970s/80s New York City. He is very open about his relationships with family, addiction, and being a gay man that made a living with fake boobs strapped to his chest. You leave the book knowing Harvey's soul. Highly recommend for fans, and theater lovers everywhere.

[J. (Better Off Read) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well this was absolutely delightful!

I was a fan of Harvey Fierstein's work going into this, but knew very little about his personal life. This man is a national treasure -- an amazing actor, director, writer, drag performer... I could go on. This memoir is so endearing and now I want to find more of his work to enjoy. For now, Torch Song Trilogy has been added to my to-read list, I plan to rewatch Hairspray in the next few weeks, and I found a production of La Cage aux Folles on YouTube. 💋 💅

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harvey was born in 1954, so it was a long time before he had a cell-phone. Yet he seems to have 'recorded' all his life fascinating details. He would be one of those dangerous friends that seems to remember EVERYTHING. 4-Time Tony winner, he is best known for his theater work in Torch Song Trilogy & Hairspray; movie roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, and voice of Yao in Mulan & Mulan II. He won 2 Tony Awards, Best Actor in a Play and Best Play, for Torch Song Trilogy. 3rd Tony: Best Book of a Musical, for La Cage aux Folles; 4th Tony for Best Actor as Edna Turnblad in Hairspray. Inducted into the American Theater Hall of Fame in 2007.

I bought a used copy of this book (crazy I found it, since it is so new, but I visit this used book store weekly to find deals like this). I was going to start the book, but I read a review that explained that Harvey was the narrator of the audiobook. I looked in my local library-system. Dang! Not there. So I 'recommended' it. Next thing I know, I get an email from the library to loan me the newly purchased audiobook!

It was great to hear his distinctive queer, Jewish, Brooklyn voice reading. Even if you just read the book, you can 'hear' Harvey talking! Trademark voice here.

He grew up in Brooklyn with queer kids all around, so it was not really a big deal to Harvey. It still did not go over well with parents. He was in love with Richard Chamberlain early in life.

Harvey's early coming out makes him a wise elder in the lgbtq community. He has been the Grand Marshall of Pride Parades. There is a picture of Harvey next to Marsha P. Johnson in the 1970 Gay Pride march. His pictures in drag in the book prior to age 20 has him looking crazy-young and feminine.

This book has SO MANY quips about friends, and situations, and life that the book is very hard to put down. He went through a roller-coaster of life. When he descended into admitting he was an alcoholic, I was worried, but there was too much of the book in my hands remaining, and indeed he rose again. It took some time, but he chronicles all of this in his book. The truth is all here.

I liked hearing about how Torch Song Trilogy came into being. I have not seen it. I'll admit. This book has inspired me to see this play. I just need to find a recording of it with the early cast. Matthew Broderick got the role of the young son. Incredible!

Harvey just seems like one of those non-stop fun friends that you love to hang out with, but you know you need to be careful with all the fun you are having! He amazingly gave up having the random sex in the trailers in 1982, literally months before AIDS took over the gay community. He is lucky to be alive!

His section about AIDS is excellent. This is a scary section as he talks of the neglect by non-gay people. Government and families didn't care and thought it was 'deserved'. So sad!

I'm glad I have a copy of the book with the b&w pictures. Edna in Hairspray! Tevye in the 2004 revival of Fiddler on the Roof. Zaza in the Broadway revival of La Cage aux Folles.

Fierstein wrote and starred in the solo monologue play Bella Bella, about Bella Abzug. The play opened off-Broadway at the Manhattan Theatre Club's City Center Stage 1 on October 1, 2019, directed by Kimberly Senior. I see this listed here in GR. It was recorded in practice for an audible book, but COVID shut live performances down.

So Harvey is still going strong at the conclusion of this book. If you liked Harvey before this book, now you'll love him. Easy 5*

[Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harvey Fierstein, needless to say, is a sensational storyteller. His book is every bit as entertaining as his parade of plays, musicals, and movies. I have had the great pleasure of meeting Harvey a few times in my long theatrical career. Although he won't recall these passing introductions, they always made a huge impression on me. He was and is a unique talent, whose memoir is as fascinating as the man himself.

From a traditional Jewish family of modest means in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, Harvey becomes one of the greatest theatrical writers of the day. His parade of hit shows is like a history of gay theatre from the 1970s until this day. TORCH SONG TRILOGY was an utterly ground-breaking endeavor, an epic three-part play about a gay man coming to terms with his life - his search for love, the challenges of keeping love, his demand for respect from his harshly judgmental but oddly loving Jewish mother. This in the 1970s, when such boldly, outspokenly gay heroes were in scarce supply.

Like any great storyteller, Harvey (everyone calls him Harvey) elides over the sustained trauma. He talks candidly about his battle with alcoholism, but his recovery - poof! (OK, that's a gag.) He *does* seem to recover within a few pages, with little of the drawn-out torture of most alcoholics. He and the famously combative Arthur Laurents have their disagreements, but Harvey seems to cave to the imperious director's demands with no repercussions. And LA CAGE AUX FOLLES is a huge hit, which makes him even more famous and delightfully rich.

But the backstage peek at the great parade of shows and talent, from Jerry Herman to Stephen Sondheim (who said no to collaborating) to the great director-choreographer Jerry Mitchell to Cyndi Lauper, is delicious. Harvey knows everyone - and I mean everyone - in the theatre. He does film and television, but his heart belongs on stage, playing characters larger than life, from Arnold Beckoff in TORCH SONG to Tevye in FIDDLER ON THE ROOF to the unforgettable Edna Turnblad in HAIRSPRAY. The voice, the timing, the drollery - there is no one as funny and bawdy and endearing as Harvey.

Ditto this enchanting history of his collaborators, his lovers, his co-stars, the backstage people who make everything happen.

For anyone who loves theatre, this is a Must Read. If you don't love theatre, do I even know you?

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have any interest in reading this book at all, you absolutely ought to do it by audiobook. Harvey Fierstein, playwright (notably Torch Song Trilogy), actor, gay activist, and theatre and Broadway does-pretty-much-everything, has the most distinctive voice. It’s a froggy, smoky growl that he says is part hereditary and part misuse very early in his theatre career. I grabbed this as an audiobook immediately and wondered if he actually had 13 hours worth of interesting stuff to share. Boy, does he! This is a man who lives and breathes theatre, and it’s so evident in his delivery—his entertaining, dishy stories are made even more interesting and amusing by his delivery. Harvey holds nothing back. He walks us through his childhood in a pretty typical (non-practising) Jewish household in Brooklyn, where his artistic sensibilities were recognized early on, so he went to an arts and design high school in Manhattan (meant to turn out working artists, like graphic designers and so on). I guffawed often over his tales of childhood and young manhood. He was pretty certain he was gay, but it was under the guidance of a gay high school friend that he was introduced to the hot spots and highlights of the scene. The Stonewall riots took place while he was at school, and a galvanized Harvey went the next day to the site, where there was still a lot happening. He’s never looked back as an activist. I’m not going to restate his life journey here, but if you have an interest in Broadway, you’re going to find tons to fascinate. I had no idea just how much a fixture on Broadway he has been for decades now. Candid (he’s very hard on himself), funny and poignant by turns (as we know, AIDS ran its scythe through the New York theatre community in the 80s and 90s), this is a great read.

[Kyle Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one! I didn’t know much about Fierstein beyond seeing his name attached to a lot of projects and seeing him cameo in a lot of spots. I enjoyed getting to read about his life and am now really looking forward to seeing/reading some of his work. Definitely recommend.

[N. N. Santiago · Rating 3 out of 5]

I absolutely love Harvey but I'm sad to say this was a big disappointment. Not much of the fizz that he has in conversation comes through in the writing, even though I listened to his own reading of the audiobook. Once it gets going, this is mostly an overview of his showbiz career.

Many of the stories told here are ones that he has told better in interviews, and some things that I have heard him often allude to that I hoped to hear the dish on - like his having the keys to an Episcopal church because of a priest he was sleeping with - never go any further. I have also always wanted to learn more about his celibacy in the early 80s, entered into out of boredom with the casual scene, but again, the book quickly moves on after bringing it up, and we are not told when or why he moves away from it.

While I can understand a reluctance to air too much of his (and others') private life out in public, I just wish things went a bit deeper.

[Patty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wouldn't have called myself a "fan" of Harvey Fierstein--I have seen things he's been in, and I've respected what he's written and been involved with--but after reading this memoir I am fanatically, hopelessly in love with Harvey Fierstein.

I am also not an audiobook person, preferring to read words on paper, but this book in particular demands to be heard in Harvey's singular, amazing voice.

Harvey Fierstein is a national treasure. End of story.

[Kathleen Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend you listen to the audiobook so you can hear the stories in Mr. Fierstein's voice.

If you love live theater, you'll love this book. If you love great characters and storytelling, this is for you. If you have an open heart, you will learn about amazing human beings and be inspired by their journeys.

[Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Harvey Fierstein, it seems to me, is the embodiment of gay pride. Born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1952, Harvey discovered that he was different from other boys at a fairly young age, and while attending the High School of Art and Design in Manhattan, he began to live that personality that was so eager to escape. He was an artist! In early chapters of his memoir, I Was Better Last Night: A Memoir, Feinstein recalls growing up in a Jewish family with his parents and older brother, life in school where he noticed that he was different from other kids but not necessarily in a sexual way; most of his friends were girls. He was a chubby boy, and he talks about his big “boy boobs.” Later, at the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, he studies ceramics and designs some rather obscene creations, among them decorations he calls his “Bad Boy Jugs.” I found much of the recitation of these years and into his early career in theater to be a drag – pun intended. Many of the off, off, Off-Broadway plays described were quite, um, unique and vulgar.

When Harvey hit his 20s, like many gay men of the 1970s, he was promiscuous, and he goes into some detail about his social life. This was when it was illegal for gay men and lesbians to even be seen holding hands. He briefly mentions Stonewall, the bar that police raided in 1969 and the riots that ensued. However, things were slow to change. Still, Harvey, it seems, was never one to stay in the closet. I felt sad for him that he was never able to maintain a long-term relationship. Later in the book he talks about that and seems to have come to terms with that part of his life. Living as a gay man in the 70s and 80s, of course he knew numerous men who contracted AIDS.
We simultaneously searched for and hid from information. Newspapers devoted far greater real estate to traffic accidents. Our brains seethed with questions: Is this “gay cancer”? How is it spread? Could I have it? Who do you know? How did you know? Did you hear about him? And the answers were just as unhelpful: I didn’t know he was gay. It’s God’s punishment…Just avoid them.

Fierstein recalls his successes and failures in his professional career most of all. Initially, there were many failures, and this part of the book moved quite slowly. Despite the lack of success, people in the business noticed his talent, and soon he began getting more work. He was writing screenplays, getting acting jobs, even singing. There’s a good deal of name-dropping in this book, folks like Andy Warhol, Estelle Getty (formerly Gettleman), Matthew Broderick, Stephen Sondheim, Debbie Reynolds, Ethel Merman, Julia Child, and on and on. Some of his most famous Broadway works include Torch Song Trilogy, La Cage Au Folles, and Hairspray. He also played Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.

While it was fun to read about his writing and stage work, I was most touched by his honest appraisal of his life, particularly of the way he came to accept and deal with his alcoholism, with relationships, and to make changes in his life. He is funny when he needs to be; he is also introspective. In writing for audiences, he writes so that the audience will not feel threatened, and then when the play reveals where it’s truly headed, they will have to rethink their old ideas. While researching one of his plays to learn why some straight men dress in women’s clothing, for instance, he found a vast spectrum of reasons and needs. He says this, “Labeling them “transvestites” or ‘cross-dressers’ was as useless as branding all winged insects ‘flies’ and claiming to understand their nature. He goes on to say that as a kid he believed there were only gay and straight. Period. Over time, he learned, he says, “the great majority of us are too afraid to know ourselves…If we can’t face ourselves in a mirror, what gall to claim we can understand others!”

Thank you, Harvey Feinstein, for being fearlessly, humorously, wonderfully creatively you! Happy Pride!

3.5 stars rounded up

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much fun, as Fierstein reflects on his long life in theatre and the changing attitudes he’s witnessed and influenced. Fierstein reads the audiobook, and his performance is not to be missed.

[Rick Rapp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full Disclosure: I have always been very conflicted about Harvey Fierstein. Part of me admires the hell out of his courage and willingness to take no prisoners. He is bigger than life and has adapted his considerable talents to many projects and titles with amazing results. On the other hand, I have also found him to be "too much" for many of the same reasons I previously listed. But this book gave me a much needed and deeper appreciation for him. Born a year to the day after me, we lived through the same world events and challenges of growing up gay, but there the similarities end (for the most part,) although I have to admit in all honesty that I have also felt betrayed by the "straight" community far too many times to list. Our experiences were similar in some ways, but his sound/feel edgier and more dangerous. Also, I had unconditional love from my parents which Harvey, sadly, did not. All that being said, the first third of the book is informative and emotionally draining. (I still tend to block out the AIDS era, for instance.) I was greatly validated that we share the same repugnance toward the portrayal of gays as pathetic/tragic figures who have no chance for a happy/fulfilling life. (In a movie or play, one of us invariably has to die.) Fierstein forced me to confront some of my preconceptions about him in this brutally honest section. Part Two was less satisfying (although educational.) I was unaware of his contributions to many important works. But the middle section was bogged down by "I wrote," "I won," "I starred in"-itis. Yes, his contributions have been huge, but the false humility sometimes portrayed just doesn't ring true. Thankfully, the final third of the book gets back to his brutal honesty and epiphanies about himself that make this human caricature genuinely human and worthy of our attention. One final observation: Fierstein is amazingly restrained when referring to most of the celebrities with whom he has interacted. He does not use this book to bash or to name drop. So, I definitely feel this is an important and worthwhile read for those in the theatre and members of the LGBTQ community. It certainly smooths out many of his rough edges.

[Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, I confess I'm a Broadway baby (to use a Sondheim lyric.) Born and bred in Manhattan, my parents exposed me to the Broadway stage at an early age and I've been hooked ever since. While I'm familiar with a few of Harvey Fierstein's works (Hairspray, KinkyBoots and La Cage Aux Folles) I really didn't know a lot about him or his accomplishments (I'd heard acclaim about Torch Song Trilogy, but never saw the play.) This was a fabulous memoir, refreshingly candid and oftentimes quite witty. (When I say "candid", do be prepared for some TMI moments, especially regarding Harvey's early "romantic" adventures. Some might find it uncomfortable, but it was a frank disclosure of a young gay man's life during those years. Harvey recounts his upbringing, his very early involvement in some experimental and creative off off Broadway theater, but, for me, he is at his best when he gives us some incredible behind the scenes insights about the Broadway creative process as well as the business side of putting together a complex musical. There's just the right amount of gossipy tidbits (i.e. despite playing a very sympathetic gay man in La Cage, Gene Barry refusing to enter the same elevators used by the cast drag queens for fear of contracting AIDS.) There are some very sad episodes and some exhilarating ones. I was surprised at how focused an enormous talent like Harvey Fierstein was on awards. He shares his excitement and disappointment when winning and being overlooked for Tonys. Throughout the memoir you'll always see the little Jewish boy from Brooklyn who has to pinch himself when he sees his name in lights on many a Broadway marquee. I so wish I had seen him perform on stage, but I still came to know and love him in this fabulous conversation he shares with his readers.

[Marc · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved reading this memoir by one of my heroes. I learned so much, felt so much, and I am so grateful Harvey Fierstein wrote this book. I highly recommend it!

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a memoir, the main focus of this book is a chronicle of Harvey Fierstein’s rise from humble beginnings as a drag queen appearing in experimental productions of the early 1970s to become one of the leading creatives in modern Broadway theater. This is handled with humor and thoughtful self-reflection, with the personal story unfolding in the foreground and a wider overview of the development of the American theater scene in the background. In getting to know Fierstein the person, the reader also comes face to face with Fierstein the artist, as the autobiographical details are seamlessly meshed in with the creative process that goes into the writing and performing of various productions over the years.

Although reading the words of this autobiography directly off the page surely must showcase Fierstein’s skill as an award-winning writer, would it not be ideal to experience the words of a playwright through a portrayal by an equally accomplished actor thoroughly ensconced in character? And so, when I saw that an audiobook was available featuring Fierstein’s own grandly gravelly voice as narrator, the choice to give the work a listen was an easy one.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harvey writes the way he speaks, and that is a beautiful thing! It is so entertaining to read about his writing and creative journey!

[Anna Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously, one of the best audiobooks I've EVER heard. His humor, his pain, his life, his story, the way he tells it ... it's just all so marvelous. I want to meet this man and just chat with him about PEOPLE and life and everything.
If you are any sort of performing artist, this is a must-read. If you're not, you're still going to like it. Harvey is a gift to this world.

[V. Briceland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Until the moment I plunged into I Was Better Last Night, I wasn't really convinced I needed to read a memoir by Harvey Fierstein. I abashedly admit: I was wrong.

The volume's pages that are set in the years before and surrounding Fierstein's success with Torch Song Trilogy are an engaging, funny, and genuinely touching recollection of a vanished era of New York City and its theaters. The chapters thereafter touch on the highlights of the writer and actor's career—sometimes in fascinating detail, and sometimes (did we really need a scant page-and-a-half chapter on Hairspray's brief run in Las Vegas?) as if he's making tick marks in the margins of his resumé. I'm willing to forgive that the proceedings get a little rote toward the end, though, because of a late-book flashback that brought me to actual tears.

The world's a finer place for having Harvey Fierstein; my year is already better from having spent a few hours learning more about him.

[Malum · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of times I complain that autobiographies gloss over the celeb's life. We usually get something like "I was born. I did these movies/sung these songs. now my life is great. The end". Fierstein's autobiography, on the other hand, suffers a bit from the opposite problem. This is a very, very, very deep dive into Fierstein's life.

While it is packed to the gills with material, it is luckily mostly great. In particular, the eye-witness accounts of gay life in the 70s and 80s-including the beginning of the AIDS crisis-is fascinating. Also, theater buffs in particular will love this book, as Fierstein spends most of the discussion of his career on theater and writing rather than on his movies. We get some bits here and there on his film roles, but you can really tell that his passion is the stage. I'm not much of a theater guy myself (and it's these chunks that had me zoning out now and then), but I did thoroughly enjoy Fierstein's discussions on his personal life and the world he grew up in.

Just be sure that you are ready for this book if you pick it up, however. It feels every bit of its almost 400 pages.

[ryan wilkey · Rating 5 out of 5]

“i was better last night. of course i was better last night. i was younger, fresher, braver, and had one less day of life clogging my brain but most of all it was last night. time upgrades survival to triumph. so if you can’t go back, what’s the harm in looking back. twelve step programs council ‘look back but don’t stare.’ wonder why? because it’s fucking painful.”

words of the wise.

“theatre is a place you should attend for healing, and not healthcare.”

i love theatre. i love the many plays i’ve been fortunate to see (e.g. wicked on broadway, american idiot at my local ft. lauderdale theatre, the various plays i saw as a child), and harbor excitement for the plays in which i have not seen live (only seeing them as recordings), hoping one day i will.

i’ve always said, if only i had the vocals required, musical theatre would’ve been my calling. however, i have not been blessed with that ability, though dance i could’ve learned. then there is the shyness i couldn’t escape when i was younger, though now i beat myself up over missed opportunities as i totally would get on stage and make an ass of myself if needed.

harvey is right! theatre is a place to go for healing. whenever i feel unmotivated, lethargic, angry, heartbroken, bitter, morose, i find listening to broadway to be therapeutic. in these recordings you find excellent performers so in love with their craft, alive in their vocals, that it pushes you out of your feelings and in a state of euphoria. (patti lupone, ethel merman, bernadette peters, to name a few.) i still remember elphaba belting defying gravity at the tip-top of her lungs and how it filled the entire theatre to a sound of applause and standing ovation. i remember a family friend, not a fan of theatre, in shock and awe of her vocal ability and clapping, as well. the power of theatre. the power of talent!

this memoir is for the theatre kids. harvey has been incredibly influential in his career in theatre, more so than i already knew. many know him for the small roles he’s had in the movies, like robin williams’ brother that creates the persona of mrs. doubtfire in mrs. doubtfire. but how many people know his incredible influence in la cage aux folles (which inspired one of my favorite films, the birdcage), kinky boots, or hairspray? you would if you loved theatre. admittedly, i didn’t even know his background influence in most of his work, the influence you don’t see that occurred behind the curtains. and that is why this book is phenomenal. the storytelling is engaging, his narration is comical and purposeful at times, and alarmingly heartbreaking at others. his experience is meant to be celebrated and read.

aside from theatre, harvey briefly laments the fallen heroes he’s met over the years that have been mega activists for lgbtq+ rights (he even knew marsha p. johnson!), and those that lost their lives to the AIDS epidemic.

“we knew it was a virus, but it felt like a judgement. ronald regan, our first ‘make-believe’ president, was told there was no treatment to cure, or vaccine on the horizon. taking AIDS on meant getting involved in a losing campaign issue. and since it only affected the gay male, and drug using populations, there was no political damage to ignoring the disease completely. even with his personal friends succumbing, regan didn’t speak the word AIDS publicly for five years. he taught us a reality that had always been staring us in the face: a politician’s first priority is to get re-elected, second is to fundraise, third is to protect his party. caring about a disease that is killing a small, unpopular minority ranks somewhere below hosting icelandic dignitaries at the white house. it’s one thing to say there is no cure, quite another to say there is no hope. we promised one another ‘we’re going to be okay,’ while we screamed to the world, ‘can’t you see we’re dying?’. we stared at one another with suspicion. we studied one another for signs of disease. makeup disguises just so many sores. walking with a cane is stylish, only if you don’t need one. lust dressed in deaths mantled. we wanted and we feared. some dove headfirst back into the closet. others were outed by the disease itself. the casual mention of a doctors appointment became an admission of guilt. community leaders emerged with the formation of grassroot organizations, but with goals so desperate these warriors struggled to stay focused, care for the sick, prevent the spread, raise money for research, educate the public, awaken the government, inform the press, demand healthcare, engage drug companies. our dead lay on gurneys in hospital storerooms. many funeral homes would not handle AIDS patients. houses of worship withheld burial rights. cemetery’s blocked access to graves. parents disowned their children and refused to accept their remains. others scavenged the bedroom drawers of the dead for valuables, while shunning the surviving partners, denying them any rights, respect or recognition. there was an entire room at bailey house, an AIDS residence, filled floor to ceiling, with pornographic magazines and VHS tapes that families donated from their deceased abodes. employers fired gays at will. homecare agencies and nurses hid behind religious dogma to reject patients. discrimination was given the all-loving god stamp of approval and courts of law backed them up. dentists shoved dental dams in our mouths and covered our faces with plastic wrap like hazardous waste before they touched us. they banned us from donating blood. not only banned, but outlawed. they criminalized gay men who gave blood, a disgrace that continues to this day. thankfully our lesbian sisters stepped in to fill that void. blessed be our lesbian sisters. we were unclean, un-kosher, unacceptable, subhuman, diseased. thank you for reminding us. within our community, so many heroes were doing so much good work. i shy from naming the dozens who quickly come to mind because i’ll leave off hundreds more who deserve to be lauded. surely, you’ve heard of some, but most like the masked nurses who held the hands of our friends as they struggled for air or took their last breaths will remain unnamed. but are no less heroic.”

this is only a part of the text that harvey wrote in “chapter 29: AIDS: 1982 onward” in a heartbreaking account of life of a gay man during one of the worst outbreaks in history targeting the gay community, where politicians refused to recognize and help us. and i was gutted.

“i’m sad to admit for all the good uncovered during those years, i’ve never been able to shake the feeling that the heterosexual community at large let us die. they wished us well, then turned their backs issuing sighs of relief that they had nothing to worry about. i buried the ashes of three friends in my backyard. i suppose a piece of me is out there as well.”

it’s alarming how i feel this can still be applied currently in 2022.

this was an incredible reading experience. i learned so much, and felt deep pride for my community, past and present, for their incredible and often unnoticed accomplishments.

[Louis Muñoz · Rating 4 out of 5]

EXCELLENT! I got to hear the audiobook, narrated by Harvey himself, which made the book doubly enjoyable. For some, this would be almost too deep a dive into his life and career, and that was occasionally true for me as I made my way through this book. However, Harvey knows how to keep you engaged and interested throughout, and so I highly recommend this book.

Many thanks to #NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Straw · Rating 2 out of 5]

I remember being a little punk rock kid in Cary NC in the late 80's/early 90's. I watched Torch Song Triology with a group of us at our friend's dad's house. He had left his marriage and come out as gay. I think he was trying to open us up. it was sort of a pivotal moment of being seen before I saw myself. That being said, I think this book is for a super fan. I don't really care so much for the Theatre scene or the Hollywood scene enough to get more than halfway through.

[Harry McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Madeline Kahn flashed her NYU ID card at the box office and demanded the student discount.
"You're Madeline Kahn!" the ticket seller told her.
"With so much more to learn," she replied.'

[Beth Stromberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it!! We listen to memoirs, read by their authors. Hearing Harvey Firestein read it , was absolutely incredible!!❤️❤️

[Troy Tradup · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook, so no quotes. Read by the author and, as with Patti Smith and David Lynch, you really want the audiobook to experience the author’s voice. Both of Fierstein’s unforgettable voices, in fact — the writer and the performer.

This is just a great memoir on so many levels. The life of an awkward gay kid coming of age smack in the middle of some of the most important moments in gay history. The life of an unexpected artist smack in the middle of some of the most creative and cutting-edge years in American theatre. The rise of slightly weird background player to unlikely leading man (and, at times, leading lady!) in some of the biggest blockbusters off- and on-Broadway. And, of course, the triumphant metamorphosis of a kid with dyslexia who thinks he can’t write because he can’t spell very well into the revered author of one of the huge, towering cornerstones of contemporary gay theatre (among several other ginormous successes).

As should be expected, this book is completely, unapologetically gay. There’s an eye-opening frankness and honesty about gay sex that will no doubt make some straight readers/listeners run for their smelling salts (lower Manhattan pre-AIDs — was there ever such a gay utopia in all the world in our time?). I have to imagine Fierstein’s publisher wondering what the hell they had gotten themselves into when this manuscript came in.

But the book is completely honest and true to its subject, and surprisingly frank on certain elements many celebrities would at least fudge if not leave out altogether. Fierstein isn’t afraid to be catty, but he’s never overtly mean. Self-aggrandizing is kept surprisingly in check, and Fierstein often goes out of the way to show how it’s been others who have helped/led/thrust him into the wildly crazy career he’s had.

The memoir is also incredibly moving without ever becoming mawkish, particularly in the late section dealing with the true heart of his relationship with his mother. His somewhat accidental coming-out story is brutal and mortifying, but skates very close to farce as well. It couldn’t really have been a surprise to many people that Harvey was gay, but the actual physical moment of discovery by his parents — yeah, you could definitely build a whole playwriting career off the aftermath of that.

Loved the book and made me think I need to take another look at Torch Song Trilogy. I reread the script and the new trimmed-down version when the Broadway revival opened and it felt a bit dated and a little more Neil Simon-y than I had remembered. (Not that there’s anything wrong with Neil Simon — the man knew his way around a Broadway audience.) But hearing Fierstein’s own reaction to the “lack of danger” in Torch Song during its revival, and thinking about all the new dangers to gay rights popping up again all of a sudden makes me think, yeah, it’s time to revisit that work.

What a life! “Look back, but don’t stare.” Great memoir, great audiobook.