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Notes on Womanhood
After Sarah Jane Barnett had a hysterectomy in her forties, a comment by her doctor that she wouldn’t be “less of a woman” prompted her to investigate what the concept of womanhood meant to her. Part memoir, part feminist manifesto, part coming-of-middle-age story, Notes on Womanhood is the result. Here, Barnett examines the devastation she inflicted on herself as a young woman, the invisibility she feels as her youth fades, the power of female friendship, the stories women learn about midlife and menopause, and how being the daughter of a transgender woman changed her ideas of womanhood.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
180 pages, Paperback
Published October 31, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
February 26, 2023
Good Books bookshop in Wellington picked this for my February subscription. I hadn't seen it before so was intrigued. Great book for me to read at 35yo, on the cusp of "middle-age". Barnett has lots of interesting musings about what is is to be a woman, and particularly a woman as she discovers this new phase of her life.
June 26, 2022
a great read!!
October 8, 2024
Lots of big words and parts I couldn’t wrap my head around but Taylor’s songs Nothing New, Mirrorball, and Clara Bow were ever present while reading this book. Also Emily Dickinson was mentioned!!
As I age and become to not live life with the fear of the male gaze and begin to love myself inside out, I hope I can remember that I’m not the only woman struggling with these fears and I’m not alone.
Points from book I found interesting:
“Ageing is a privilege that can only be appreciated when it is not feared”.
“Because I could not stop for Death” - Emily Dickinson
“The fact is, though, an attractive woman in her fifties is so surprising she needs a label” - talking about cougars
“Who am I if I’m no longer desirable”
'Traditionally, to be considered a "good woman" means putting others first; to be a "good man" was to put work first'
“While mimicking others may deliver social acceptance, it is nearly always at the cost of ourselves”
As I age and become to not live life with the fear of the male gaze and begin to love myself inside out, I hope I can remember that I’m not the only woman struggling with these fears and I’m not alone.
Points from book I found interesting:
“Ageing is a privilege that can only be appreciated when it is not feared”.
“Because I could not stop for Death” - Emily Dickinson
“The fact is, though, an attractive woman in her fifties is so surprising she needs a label” - talking about cougars
“Who am I if I’m no longer desirable”
'Traditionally, to be considered a "good woman" means putting others first; to be a "good man" was to put work first'
“While mimicking others may deliver social acceptance, it is nearly always at the cost of ourselves”
August 10, 2023
My favorite book this year! This astounding piece of work is part autobiographical story and part literary research. Barnett makes tough conversations easily digestible through accessible vocabulary, without sacrificing her natural poetic elegance.
Barnett walks with us through every chapter, tackling each discussion with all our ugly emotions which she teaches us to embody with our full "Personess". This book is for everyone, please give it a go!
Barnett walks with us through every chapter, tackling each discussion with all our ugly emotions which she teaches us to embody with our full "Personess". This book is for everyone, please give it a go!
December 8, 2022
Really enjoyed this. Very thought provoking on aging, motherhood and the like.
November 14, 2025
I found this book very challenging to read and took a few months to get through it, picking it up and putting it down as my mind would allow me to - this is much like my relationship with womanhood itself. I find it difficult, sometimes I want to shove it away and hide from it, but it is something I know I must revisit to understand myself.
This book was challenging not in the way it was written or in the language used, I actually found the fluctuation between memoir-style storytelling and essay form writing very engaging, rather I found it challenging as someone who often feels trapped within the female form. A lot of the violence, shame, grief and questions addressed in this book are those that have been plaguing me this year. As a female bodied person who has no desire for children and a fluctuating of removal from my family, a lot of these topics were sore to read. Like pressing a bruise. I also think turning 30 and living an unconventional lifestyle away from heteronormative ideas of marriage and family building, I have been questioning what middle age will look like for me.
I deeply want to lend this book to my mother, if anything so she can feel what I feel.
Watching me experience life in a female body has bludgeoned her with empathy, watching me live through horrors she has never experienced. Much like how she lived through horrors I will never experience, I watch and wait. I learnt lessons of self-defence, independence and feminism from her from a child by witnessing her agony up close, in the same house. I wonder if she would learn about me reading this how I did, seeing the sections I underlined and highlighted, deciphering my notes in the margins. My mother, for all my complex love and critiques of her, has always been my leading source of knowing womanhood. She does it fiercely.
Something to wrap up this review, I might just quote you part of the book:
To be dirty. To be tired and rough, outspoken and selfish and hungry. That is to be a woman. That is to be human. When I was younger becoming a woman meant - in many small cuts - abandoning parts of myself. Now I'm taking them back and abandoning the parts that don't fit
This book was challenging not in the way it was written or in the language used, I actually found the fluctuation between memoir-style storytelling and essay form writing very engaging, rather I found it challenging as someone who often feels trapped within the female form. A lot of the violence, shame, grief and questions addressed in this book are those that have been plaguing me this year. As a female bodied person who has no desire for children and a fluctuating of removal from my family, a lot of these topics were sore to read. Like pressing a bruise. I also think turning 30 and living an unconventional lifestyle away from heteronormative ideas of marriage and family building, I have been questioning what middle age will look like for me.
I deeply want to lend this book to my mother, if anything so she can feel what I feel.
Watching me experience life in a female body has bludgeoned her with empathy, watching me live through horrors she has never experienced. Much like how she lived through horrors I will never experience, I watch and wait. I learnt lessons of self-defence, independence and feminism from her from a child by witnessing her agony up close, in the same house. I wonder if she would learn about me reading this how I did, seeing the sections I underlined and highlighted, deciphering my notes in the margins. My mother, for all my complex love and critiques of her, has always been my leading source of knowing womanhood. She does it fiercely.
Something to wrap up this review, I might just quote you part of the book:
To be dirty. To be tired and rough, outspoken and selfish and hungry. That is to be a woman. That is to be human. When I was younger becoming a woman meant - in many small cuts - abandoning parts of myself. Now I'm taking them back and abandoning the parts that don't fit
March 15, 2023
"Notes on Womanhood" has challenged me. Challenged in the sense that it made me realise...OR actually reminded me that I am a part of a western world which is so entrenched with pervasive ideas of what it means to be a woman and... what it does not.
For example, one of the things she focuses on is the 'genealogy of care' . I would like to think that I would not end up being the main carer for my family as a daughter or as a mother however, "care work" continues to fall to women. Even when you are in a supportive, 21st century relationship, she describes how it was near impossible for her spouse to get part time work. Other themes that run throughout the book is gender roles, ageing as a woman and the major life events that go with this.
While this book made me angry and feel a bit of despair, it was also a humbling and comforting read. Barnett brings in stories about her own experiences and women in her personal life. This brought a sense of ease.
She concludes... "Women, throughout our lives, and as society pushes forward, will have to constantly remake our identities and ideas of womanhood. If there's anything the women around me are good at, it's rebuilding themselves".
For example, one of the things she focuses on is the 'genealogy of care' . I would like to think that I would not end up being the main carer for my family as a daughter or as a mother however, "care work" continues to fall to women. Even when you are in a supportive, 21st century relationship, she describes how it was near impossible for her spouse to get part time work. Other themes that run throughout the book is gender roles, ageing as a woman and the major life events that go with this.
While this book made me angry and feel a bit of despair, it was also a humbling and comforting read. Barnett brings in stories about her own experiences and women in her personal life. This brought a sense of ease.
She concludes... "Women, throughout our lives, and as society pushes forward, will have to constantly remake our identities and ideas of womanhood. If there's anything the women around me are good at, it's rebuilding themselves".
February 5, 2023
While reading this I kept thinking of all the highlights I was going to include in my review. There was even going to be an anecdote about a man on a bus asking me what I was reading and my feeling of being outed when I explained in the bristling silence of a packed bus that it was about the coming of middle-age.
But all that’s necessary to say is that I really needed this book. Thank you, Sarah, for putting into words so many things that I haven’t been able to articulate, for your thoughtfulness in expressing your experience of womanhood, while not negating all those others that are different, and for the writing itself - beautifully textured and deliberately unpretentious.
But all that’s necessary to say is that I really needed this book. Thank you, Sarah, for putting into words so many things that I haven’t been able to articulate, for your thoughtfulness in expressing your experience of womanhood, while not negating all those others that are different, and for the writing itself - beautifully textured and deliberately unpretentious.
August 20, 2022
I liked the intertwining of autobiographical stories and literature research citations.
Short sentences and available elegant vocabulary made it easy for me to read.
That said, I mostly enjoyed the book one chapter at a time. This is because the topics raised are profound, relatable (to me at least they are), and mostly painful to process.
This is certainly a book that invites self-reflection, empathy and appreciation of how unique individual experiences of womanhood can be.
Short sentences and available elegant vocabulary made it easy for me to read.
That said, I mostly enjoyed the book one chapter at a time. This is because the topics raised are profound, relatable (to me at least they are), and mostly painful to process.
This is certainly a book that invites self-reflection, empathy and appreciation of how unique individual experiences of womanhood can be.
September 12, 2022
Less memoir and more academic than I expected, but all the better for it. Definitely recommend!
January 12, 2023
Very good!!! Wonderful but accessible writing, and very relatable. Will gift to many female friends :)
January 15, 2023
This is a relatable book for any woman over 35. Im tempted to buy a copy for each friend as it weaves thoughtful life experiences with facts about moving into middle age.
February 17, 2023
I loved this book!
April 12, 2023
A great read that I learned a lot from. Cool to hear an Aotearoa perspective.
April 19, 2023
This is a good read, the author is awesome! Some interesting perspectives and things to consider!
May 12, 2024
I really enjoyed this exploration of menopause, gender, womanhood, middle age and death and found myself nodding along and underlining many parts.
July 5, 2025
lol why do i feel so disturbed by everything lately - includng this book
September 6, 2025
Bought this as gift for a friend and was offered a read, I enjoyed it very much and found it very relateable.
Recommend.
Recommend.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews