this book was not what i expected, but it had a number of lines that really moved me, and i empathized heavily with where the main character is at in her life: feeling a little lost, trying to find her purpose and place in the world.
i loved when safiyya realized how her mother and father compliment each other and how their relationship functions: "my father, firm, telling me he was taking my mother on holiday, and i'd have to look after myself for a bit. he had been worried about her. not for the first time, i marvel at how different my parents are, my pragmatic, theatrical father with his delight in himself and his tricks, and my quiet, still mother who only wants to help. what holes do they fill for each other that allow them to live together, to love each other? is that what love is, not a sameness of personality, but an understanding of spirit?"
safiyya figuring out why she's restless and how amir is comfortable and a safe love, but not the love for her, especially after he tells her that she should give up adam, even though it comes from a place of love, but that decision tells saffiya everything she needs to know about the future of the relationship. "it is a desire to be more, more than this longhouse, more than tea, more than myself. the itch is a child, adam-aged, maybe, a feeling that all i am is not enough yet for what i want to offer him. there is more, and i must reach for it, i must understand what that more is."
and when safiyya talks to her father to try and understand why he does what he does: "that you are looking for consistency, but the human heart has never been consistent. we can love something even when it is bad for us, terrible for us, kills us, harms us. we can believe and not believe. we can hold the truth in our hands and still year for falsehood."
and safiyya's emotional reckoning: "all this talk of roads, of paths. straight when the world is curved. i think of my first name, nestled in the sky. it has been a long time since i have reached for it."