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The Menocht Loop #3
The Eldemari's Wrath
Ian Dunai thought he was powerless.
He’s not alone: only a small percent of the population have high enough affinities to perform magic. But in the eyes of his father’s gifted family, Ian’s impotence is a disgrace—and the stain of his mother’s common blood.
But on one fateful day, Ian awakens not in his college dorm but in the middle of the ocean on an old dinghy. Reaching land is the least of his problems as he encounters risen skeletons, tortured captives, and a shoreside city in the throes of contagion.
Ian doesn’t last very long without magic. But death isn’t the end: Ian wakes back up on the dinghy and relives the day again...and again...and again.
As Ian investigates the purpose of the loop and a way to escape, he begins to realize that he might be more powerful than anyone—especially himself—ever imagined.
He’s not alone: only a small percent of the population have high enough affinities to perform magic. But in the eyes of his father’s gifted family, Ian’s impotence is a disgrace—and the stain of his mother’s common blood.
But on one fateful day, Ian awakens not in his college dorm but in the middle of the ocean on an old dinghy. Reaching land is the least of his problems as he encounters risen skeletons, tortured captives, and a shoreside city in the throes of contagion.
Ian doesn’t last very long without magic. But death isn’t the end: Ian wakes back up on the dinghy and relives the day again...and again...and again.
As Ian investigates the purpose of the loop and a way to escape, he begins to realize that he might be more powerful than anyone—especially himself—ever imagined.
555 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 20, 2022
184 people are currently reading
108 people want to read
About the author
Lorne Ryburn
8 books73 followersLorne (also known online as caerulex) is an avid reader who strives to write the kinds of stories she would like to read. Besides web serials, her favorite series tend toward grimdark fantasy, such as The Broken Empire Trilogy by Mark Lawrence and The Acts of Caine by Matthew Woodring Stover. The Menocht Loop is her second book series, which she began after publishing Apex Predator as an online web serial.
When she isn’t writing, Lorne enjoys time spent with loved ones and traveling the world. She spends her days as an AI/machine learning software engineer.
When she isn’t writing, Lorne enjoys time spent with loved ones and traveling the world. She spends her days as an AI/machine learning software engineer.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
May 25, 2022
Had to see if number two was a fluke.
It was not. The pacing is horrible. The cutting in and out in the first part highlight the worst emo bits in the book. The foretelling crutch is vastly overused and makes the second half feel pointless. All the issues feel deliberate, this was an artistic choice. If book one was anything like the last two, I never would have spent time with the series.
It was not. The pacing is horrible. The cutting in and out in the first part highlight the worst emo bits in the book. The foretelling crutch is vastly overused and makes the second half feel pointless. All the issues feel deliberate, this was an artistic choice. If book one was anything like the last two, I never would have spent time with the series.
November 21, 2023
Overall, 2 stars. Eury is a doll, so I’ll bump it up to a 3.
This was a re-read I did purely because I love my boy Eury and I wanted to soak up every part of him I could. But except for Eury this book is pretty meh, so I skipped around a lot.
This was a re-read I did purely because I love my boy Eury and I wanted to soak up every part of him I could. But except for Eury this book is pretty meh, so I skipped around a lot.
September 23, 2022
I really hope this is an improvement over book two.
This turned out better than book two, but I still didn't enjoy it much. Seeing as the protagonist is no longer in the trial, he doesn't have to find creative ways to use his abilities. I think that is what drew me to the first book, and a lot of that is absent here.
I don't know if I will read the sequel, as I didn't like the path this book took. I think things will be a lot different in the next book, but knowing what the protagonist can do, I don't know if I would be interested in a book.
We will see.
3/5 Stars
This turned out better than book two, but I still didn't enjoy it much. Seeing as the protagonist is no longer in the trial, he doesn't have to find creative ways to use his abilities. I think that is what drew me to the first book, and a lot of that is absent here.
I don't know if I will read the sequel, as I didn't like the path this book took. I think things will be a lot different in the next book, but knowing what the protagonist can do, I don't know if I would be interested in a book.
We will see.
3/5 Stars
June 7, 2022
Standing on a precipice
I don't usually review books, but I felt I had to with this one. The base premise and previous books were amazing 5/5. But the ending of this one didn't sit right with me.
First, in the previous book, Eury's unrequited love is revealed, which I didn't like back then but decided to give the author the benefit of the doubt. Then through absolute contrivance(fate you could say), Ian makes out with Maria in the previous book, as well. I was basically the dog in the burning house at that point, telling myself this was fine.
Then, with all the build up, we get this ending. To be clear, I give it four stars because most of this book it still really good. It's just the ending and what it means for later books that makes me want to drop this. Spoilers form here on!
It feels underwhelming and contrived. Don't get me wrong, the action is all very cool. But Ari is nothing but a stupid one note "You foolish mortals!" character. After I expected more since the author humanized her by referring to her by her name instead of The Descendant.
Then bluebird dies! With hardly any time or weight on it. Sure, it'll probably be mentioned in a few throw away lines later, but I don't have high hopes.
Then, through stupid contrivance, Achemiss is all like, "btw, you can take another person with you" cause that makes sense. Clearly the author had this in mind since early on because it handily solves the problem of the eldmari by taking Maria and it furthers the stupid, uneccesary love triangle. At this point it feels like Eury is just the author's punching bag. Instead of doing something actually interesting with the descendant, the ending's 'high point' is the promise of a very stupid relationship between Ian and Maria and possibly some chapters expousing how absolutely miserable Eury is.
I hate it when characters suffer for what feels like no reason, and worse, when things happen because the author contrived for them to happen without proper cause and effect. So, the majority of this book is swell and the previous books were amazing, but I'll likely drop this midway into the next book. I have hope the author might surprise me, but not much.
I don't usually review books, but I felt I had to with this one. The base premise and previous books were amazing 5/5. But the ending of this one didn't sit right with me.
First, in the previous book, Eury's unrequited love is revealed, which I didn't like back then but decided to give the author the benefit of the doubt. Then through absolute contrivance(fate you could say), Ian makes out with Maria in the previous book, as well. I was basically the dog in the burning house at that point, telling myself this was fine.
Then, with all the build up, we get this ending. To be clear, I give it four stars because most of this book it still really good. It's just the ending and what it means for later books that makes me want to drop this. Spoilers form here on!
It feels underwhelming and contrived. Don't get me wrong, the action is all very cool. But Ari is nothing but a stupid one note "You foolish mortals!" character. After I expected more since the author humanized her by referring to her by her name instead of The Descendant.
Then bluebird dies! With hardly any time or weight on it. Sure, it'll probably be mentioned in a few throw away lines later, but I don't have high hopes.
Then, through stupid contrivance, Achemiss is all like, "btw, you can take another person with you" cause that makes sense. Clearly the author had this in mind since early on because it handily solves the problem of the eldmari by taking Maria and it furthers the stupid, uneccesary love triangle. At this point it feels like Eury is just the author's punching bag. Instead of doing something actually interesting with the descendant, the ending's 'high point' is the promise of a very stupid relationship between Ian and Maria and possibly some chapters expousing how absolutely miserable Eury is.
I hate it when characters suffer for what feels like no reason, and worse, when things happen because the author contrived for them to happen without proper cause and effect. So, the majority of this book is swell and the previous books were amazing, but I'll likely drop this midway into the next book. I have hope the author might surprise me, but not much.
September 21, 2023
The story is sometimes good. Some mystery and good outlining, mainly as carryover from previous volume.
But the bad is hanging like a dark shadow…
Too many names, details, connections, explanations which makes no impact on the story.
Also some (quite) unnecessary data dumps (show, don’t tell, not happening, totally irrelevant…)
Another issue, which was really jarring: the Gay vibe between the Primed Prince and Ian…
Why is it relevant to the story?
To me, the entire male psyche is not formed well; the male characters who are developed, all think like… females; meaning, overly complicated, taking into account things like: too many conflicting emotions, and thoughts…
Really annoying and taking out of the main story!
The protagonist seems at times awfully naive, other times ruthless murderer, or an idiot unaware of nothing in the world, although he allegedly lived YEARS in a timeless loop.
It is a jarring change (like each part written by a different writer unaware of the other work) very disruptive to the story.
Other issues:
- no consistent point of view (sometimes the omni writer, knows thoughts and ideas), other times a third person view or some other character (again, totally irrelevant and happening WAY too much times to be refreshing)
- too much filler info not progressing the story in any way (wasps anyone…?)
- Ian at times very sensitive (giving back Massages to Eury - Gay vibes again), other times deciding to preemptively go to War and kill thousands seemingly without batting an eye…
- illogical/overuse of time loop abilities (End/Regret practitioners). Like, the ultimate solution for a challenge to an overpowered protagonist (?)
- bad battle plans - suddenly, the place is brimming with 95+ % practitioners (which was supposed to be a lifetime endeavor to reach…) - no great creative usage of the (pretty cool) magic system (shooting a firebolt, earth column, water sprouts and such… no magic mines/traps, fire golems, earth seeds suddenly sprouting or such… very plain)
There are more issues, too much to enumerate
But the bad is hanging like a dark shadow…
Too many names, details, connections, explanations which makes no impact on the story.
Also some (quite) unnecessary data dumps (show, don’t tell, not happening, totally irrelevant…)
Another issue, which was really jarring: the Gay vibe between the Primed Prince and Ian…
Why is it relevant to the story?
To me, the entire male psyche is not formed well; the male characters who are developed, all think like… females; meaning, overly complicated, taking into account things like: too many conflicting emotions, and thoughts…
Really annoying and taking out of the main story!
The protagonist seems at times awfully naive, other times ruthless murderer, or an idiot unaware of nothing in the world, although he allegedly lived YEARS in a timeless loop.
It is a jarring change (like each part written by a different writer unaware of the other work) very disruptive to the story.
Other issues:
- no consistent point of view (sometimes the omni writer, knows thoughts and ideas), other times a third person view or some other character (again, totally irrelevant and happening WAY too much times to be refreshing)
- too much filler info not progressing the story in any way (wasps anyone…?)
- Ian at times very sensitive (giving back Massages to Eury - Gay vibes again), other times deciding to preemptively go to War and kill thousands seemingly without batting an eye…
- illogical/overuse of time loop abilities (End/Regret practitioners). Like, the ultimate solution for a challenge to an overpowered protagonist (?)
- bad battle plans - suddenly, the place is brimming with 95+ % practitioners (which was supposed to be a lifetime endeavor to reach…) - no great creative usage of the (pretty cool) magic system (shooting a firebolt, earth column, water sprouts and such… no magic mines/traps, fire golems, earth seeds suddenly sprouting or such… very plain)
There are more issues, too much to enumerate
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 22, 2022
convoluted
First, you need to re-read at least the latter part of book 2. This novel dives right in, starting only minutes after the previous one ends. And with no explanation. So the first chapters are a bit confusing.
Next, understand that the MC (and many of the principle supporting characters) is broken/flawed. Not just from events in book 1, but generational emotional and psychological abuse. The only happy familial relationship is a small family that briefly appears to play host.
Being honest, I feel like this should be the end and I’m not pleased another novel is planned. I will likely read book 4 because the magic is interesting (Remorse, Regret, Beginning, End - as powers is fascinating), but I don’t have a clue what direction the narrative will take.
No sex. Some odd word choices (never seen ‘inclement’ used that way before, for example).
First, you need to re-read at least the latter part of book 2. This novel dives right in, starting only minutes after the previous one ends. And with no explanation. So the first chapters are a bit confusing.
Next, understand that the MC (and many of the principle supporting characters) is broken/flawed. Not just from events in book 1, but generational emotional and psychological abuse. The only happy familial relationship is a small family that briefly appears to play host.
Being honest, I feel like this should be the end and I’m not pleased another novel is planned. I will likely read book 4 because the magic is interesting (Remorse, Regret, Beginning, End - as powers is fascinating), but I don’t have a clue what direction the narrative will take.
No sex. Some odd word choices (never seen ‘inclement’ used that way before, for example).
May 3, 2024
This book is the one I'm most likely to push towards 5*. It's probably my favourite in the entire series, man this author is good, this series continues to be incredibly interesting and whilst there were parts in this book that were arguably less necessary or important they all played a role towards the end of this installation.
The magic, world-building, characters(to a lesser extent though, as this book doesn't really focus on side characters except for the POVs), and intrigue are all incredibly incredibly enrapturing factors. The MC is powerful, incredibly powerful but the author succeeds in making it so the power is not without cost and weakness, that enemies aren't able to pose an actual threat. This is easily one of the best books in this specific genre.
4.25*
The magic, world-building, characters(to a lesser extent though, as this book doesn't really focus on side characters except for the POVs), and intrigue are all incredibly incredibly enrapturing factors. The MC is powerful, incredibly powerful but the author succeeds in making it so the power is not without cost and weakness, that enemies aren't able to pose an actual threat. This is easily one of the best books in this specific genre.
4.25*
May 22, 2022
Time for the climactic battle!
Man this books kicks it into high gear! The war with Selejo kicks off and Ian has to dig into new ways to help stem the tide against the SPUs enemies. All while preparing for Aris descent. He has to dig into the nature of souls, and how to manipulate them in hopes of standing up to her hammer. This book continues to see Ian grow in ability, navigate his tangled relationship with Eury, and try to accept himself for who he is.
Man this books kicks it into high gear! The war with Selejo kicks off and Ian has to dig into new ways to help stem the tide against the SPUs enemies. All while preparing for Aris descent. He has to dig into the nature of souls, and how to manipulate them in hopes of standing up to her hammer. This book continues to see Ian grow in ability, navigate his tangled relationship with Eury, and try to accept himself for who he is.
October 23, 2022
A Culmination of Many Threads
In this book of the series, all of the careful work the author had put into play during the last book culminates in an action packed story, that only leaves more excitement for the coming books ahead. We get to see Ian grow and develop, both in power and as a character. If you liked the previous books of the series you will almost certainly enjoy this one.
In this book of the series, all of the careful work the author had put into play during the last book culminates in an action packed story, that only leaves more excitement for the coming books ahead. We get to see Ian grow and develop, both in power and as a character. If you liked the previous books of the series you will almost certainly enjoy this one.
July 1, 2022
it had its moments..
The regret affinity is really annoying to the storytelling. So very jarring and kind of takes all the oomph out if the action. Otherwise i really like the premise even if the world building is shallow.
The regret affinity is really annoying to the storytelling. So very jarring and kind of takes all the oomph out if the action. Otherwise i really like the premise even if the world building is shallow.
July 5, 2022
Amazing book for people who like rational fiction
I've really enjoyed the third book as the previous two and I'm waiting for the sequel.
If you like books similar to HPMoR, you will probably like this book as well.
Highly recommend.
I've really enjoyed the third book as the previous two and I'm waiting for the sequel.
If you like books similar to HPMoR, you will probably like this book as well.
Highly recommend.
October 18, 2022
loved it
I liked this arc of the story. Despite it not being like a typical progression fantasy and taking a turn away from what the story originally was about, I was absorbed from beginning to end!
I liked this arc of the story. Despite it not being like a typical progression fantasy and taking a turn away from what the story originally was about, I was absorbed from beginning to end!
November 29, 2022
This was amazingly awesome
Goddamn Lorne, I didn't expect the ending at all.
The final act was just crazy, action packed and filled with so many twists.
The ending was both surprising, sad, incredible and satisfying.
How could you do this to Karen ?
To book 4
Goddamn Lorne, I didn't expect the ending at all.
The final act was just crazy, action packed and filled with so many twists.
The ending was both surprising, sad, incredible and satisfying.
How could you do this to Karen ?
To book 4
June 7, 2022
Great book
This was a great book, I can't wait for the next book in the series to come out. No cliffhangers this time please
This was a great book, I can't wait for the next book in the series to come out. No cliffhangers this time please
June 16, 2022
Good
Very strong. Lots of emotions and payoff. Much read. Read good. I definitely recommend this book. Give read. Read it
Very strong. Lots of emotions and payoff. Much read. Read good. I definitely recommend this book. Give read. Read it
August 13, 2022
interesting
I’m not sure about the twin issue, it’s either going to be great, or ruin the series…
Excellent world building, interesting story, and well crafted characters.
I’m not sure about the twin issue, it’s either going to be great, or ruin the series…
Excellent world building, interesting story, and well crafted characters.
February 12, 2023
Fun and dumb.
September 19, 2023
killed enemy then went heven with prime woman
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews