A Toolkit for Your Emotions

by Emma Hepburn

In A Toolkit for Your Emotions , Emma takes a deep dive into how we feel and explains all the tools you need to intercept and redirect challenging emotion. From joy to anger, shame to stress and anxiety, Emma has practical and effective ways to feel instantly calmer and more content.

Each topic is illustrated with Emma's well-loved illustration to make them accessible, meaningful and memorable. Dr Emma Hepburn is the most well-known psychologist on Instagram (@thepsychologymum, 135k followers) and has won numerous awards for her contribution to mental health awareness.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction

192 pages, Hardcover

Published April 4, 2023

Reviews

[Floor Van Der Vorst · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ik heb vaak het gevoel dat mijn emoties verkeerd zijn en ik ze niet mag/moet voelen. Dit gaat zowel over goede als slechte emoties. Dit boek heeft me geleerd dat alle emoties er toe doen en we ze niet weg moeten steken en negeren. Het is een goed boek om je emoties beter te begrijpen en te verwerken.

[what.heather.loves · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Emotions are our brain's attempt to understand how we feel, by categorising and giving concepts to a complex mix of incoming internal and external data, ultimately in order to help us survive and thrive."

A colourful, compact hardback using a roller-coaster metaphor, exercises and her trademark illustrations, the author has created an engaging and practical toolkit. Inside are chapters on why we have emotions, why we all react differently, responding to emotions (the part our emotional beliefs plays), those feel-good and non-feel-good emotions and making and breaking patterns. I found the 'post-it notes' with uncommon English emotions and emotions in other languages fascinating.

It explains about the benefits of a wide emotional vocabulary and understanding, which I had an awareness of in order to help my daughter identify her emotions (her school uses 'Zones of Regulation'); I will definitely discuss 'sieving her emotions' (AKA emotional granularity) with her, so she can more accurately describe feeling bad as worried or anxious. Crucially it explains why emotions are valid, usually have a constructive purpose and need to be experienced and 'sat with' rather than pushed down or ignored.

I can't say it better than the author (a clinical psychologist), so below are some quotes I felt most useful:

"Emotions are not reactions; they are constructions of what a body sensation means in a particular context...if we start to see ourselves as the architect of emotions, rather than our emotions being uncontrollable reactions, we can help our brain learn to predict and respond differently'

"This collective understanding of our experiences can help validate how we feel on an individual level. However, each response remains unique across a range of variables. It is helpful to seek commonalities for our benefit but not disparage the differences to our detriment."

"You are not your thoughts and your thoughts are not fact. If a thought is troubling you then frame it...shift your viewpoint...Reframing your perspective is beneficial for your wellbeing."

"Let's be honest, we are never going to open our arms and welcome our difficult emotions, but we don't need to push them away either. Instead of battling with them we can learn to sit alongside them, with acceptance that they are an inevitable and necessary part of life. Research shows this can stop the dips lurching down further."

[Sarah Waltrová · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a gift from one of my closest friends. Thanks Martin again for great gift that was meant as a joke for girl who had way too many emotions. In the beginning I thought the information about definitions and different types of emotions and the autor’s path in learning about emotions was not a new info but with such an ease this book completely sucked me in and In the simliest and most empathetic terms explained all forms of emotions, approaches, classifications, guides to control such emotions and thoughts. Even tough lot of studies and evidence of research was presented, the book used simple language and pictures which were perfect combo which kept me engaged. Keeping empty bubles in pictures for my enties was intentionally included by the author so of course I could not resist. I have used this book as a diary, notebook and journal all while trying to practice/ exercise to learn to understand, accept, and overcome emotions. But actually this book unexpectably begun my self- development, self-healing journey.

I have just finished … it took me way longer then expected … few months … because I really needed to feel good while reading this and it did necessitate in-depth thinking about how I feel and if it is the right way to think… needed to take it slow … but always I was so proud of moving along and conquering new concepts and exercises … I am sure this book will be the kind that not only I have told all my friends and family about … and would hundread percent recommend to all to read … this is also book that I will go back to often … Reflect again and again … and re-read the chapters that affect my personal rollercoaster at the moment … without question the perfect book

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CZ

Tuto knihu mi daroval jeden z mých nejbližších kamarádů. Ještě jednou děkuji Martinovi za skvělý dárek, který byl myšlen jako vtip pro holku, která má příliš mnoho emocí. Ze začátku jsem si myslela, že informace o definicích a různých typech emocí a autorčina cesta v poznávání emocí není nová informace, ale s takovou lehkostí mě tato kniha naprosto uspokojila a V nejjednodušších a těch nejempatičtějších termínech vysvětlila všechny druhy emocí, přístupy, klasifikace a návody na ovládání. Přestože bylo předloženo mnoho studií a důkazů z výzkumu, kniha používala jednoduchý jazyk a obrázky, což je dokonalá kombinace, která mě udržovala v napětí. V každé kresbě byly prázdné bubliny kde jsem mohla sdílet své vlastní myšlenky a to neuvěřitelně nadchlo, takže jsem samozřejmě nemohla odolat. Ale vlastně tato kniha nečekaně odstartovala mou cestu seberozvoje, sebeléčení. Tuto knihu jsem používala jako deník a zápisník zároveň jsem se snažila cvičit, abych se naučila chápat, přijímat a překonávat emoce.

Právě jsem ji dočetla ... trvalo mi to mnohem déle, než jsem čekala ... několik měsíců ... protože jsem se při čtení opravdu potřebovala cítit dobře a děsím se toho, že jsem přemýšlela o tom, jak se cítím a jestli je to správný způsob myšlení ... potřebovala jsem čas aby jsem všechna témata vstřebala ... ale vždycky jsem byla tak pyšná na to, že se posouvám a zdolávám nové koncepty a cvičení ... Jsem si jistá, že tato kniha bude ten druh, o kterém nejen řeknu všem svým přátelům a rodině o ... a stoprocentně doporučím ... ale také kniha, ke které se budu vracet ... a reflektovat znovu a znovu ... číst kapitoly, které ovlivňují mé osobní horskou dráhu v ten daný moment ... opravdu perfektní kniha

[Vy Ho · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cuốn sách này, mình đến với nó nhờ một lời gợi ý rất tình cờ nhưng sâu sắc.

Khi mình nói với thằng em – một chuyên gia tâm lý, cũng là đồng nghiệp ở trường – rằng mình đang muốn tìm hiểu sâu hơn về ngành tâm lý học, mình hỏi:
‘Em có gợi ý cuốn nào cho chị không?’

Nó không trả lời ngay. Mà hỏi lại:
‘Chị muốn tiếp cận ở góc độ nào? Góc nhìn chuyên môn – đào sâu về thuật ngữ, lý thuyết – hay từ đời sống, để hiểu mình và hiểu người?’

Câu hỏi đó làm mình dừng lại. Và nhờ vậy, mình có được cuốn sách này – đúng theo cách mình cần: gần gũi, đời sống, nhưng đủ sâu sắc để dẫn mình đi vào bên trong.

Mình không đọc nó như một cuốn tiểu thuyết, không thể “ngấu nghiến” như cách mình thường đọc truyện.
Vì từng câu chữ trong sách này… cần được chiêm nghiệm và thực hành để cảm được trọn vẹn điều nó muốn gửi gắm.

Cuốn sách này chưa giúp mình “giải quyết” vấn đề nào trong cuộc sống — có thể vì mình chưa thực hành đủ. Nhưng nó mở ra cho mình một bản đồ về cảm xúc:
“À, thì ra ai cũng trải qua như vậy.”
“À, thì ra khi mình thấy điều đó trỗi dậy, mình có thể lựa chọn cách phản ứng khác – chứ không chỉ làm theo bản năng, như trước đây.”

Điểm mình thích nhất:
Tác giả sử dụng hình ảnh minh họa đơn giản, dễ hiểu, giúp mình – dù không xuất thân từ ngành – vẫn thấy tâm lý học không hề khô khan hay xa lạ.

Điểm mình còn băn khoăn:
Hiện tại, mình đang thực hành chánh niệm – học cách quan sát và đón nhận mọi thứ như nó đang là. Vì vậy, với mình, một số phương pháp “sơ cứu cảm xúc” mà tác giả đề xuất giống như những bước tiếp cận ban đầu, mang tính gợi mở nhiều hơn là chuyển hóa sâu.

Bởi điều mình đang dần cảm nhận rõ hơn, là việc lặng lẽ quan sát chính mình trong từng khoảnh khắc – nhận diện cảm xúc mà không vội vàng phản ứng – mới thật sự là điều giúp mình thay đổi từ bên trong.

Nhưng mình vẫn rất biết ơn tác giả – vì công trình này, vì cách tác giả đã gầy dựng nên cuốn sách một cách chỉn chu, tận tâm.

Nó không hẳn là “cứu cánh”, nhưng chắc chắn là một điểm dừng cần thiết và đầy gợi mở trên hành trình hiểu mình – và hiểu người.

[leni_hermanni · Rating 5 out of 5]

A healthy way to understand your emotions, process what's causing them and if they're pleasant or unpleasant, and find ways to work with them. It's like the author has helped us befriend every single emotion that appears and notice the messages it conveys, in order to reach a better understanding of ourselves, or the situations we're involved in. I would say this is a must read for everybody, especially those of us who tend to ignore or bottle our emotions till it all gets too much to handle. This book constitutes a useful tool for classrooms as well, as it entails several fun activities and drawings that I will definitely share with my students to help them acknowledge their feelings on a daily basis.

[JC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gods I hate how useful I found this.
R

[Igor Soroka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with exercises and images to help with the understanding of the emotions.

[Tereza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another awesome little therapy in a book! Really love the feeling it gives you :)

[LUTING CHEN · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.7. Good exercises to try. The others are not that informative