Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self

by Thema Bryant-Davis

A road map for dismantling the fear and shame that keep you from living a free and authentic life.In the aftermath of stress, disappointment, and trauma, people often fall into survival mode, even while a part of them longs for more. Juggling multiple demands and responsibilities keeps them busy, but not healed. As a survivor of sexual assault, racism, and evacuation from a civil war in Liberia, Dr. Thema Bryant knows intimately the work involved in healing. Having made the journey herself, in addition to guiding others as a clinical psychologist and ordained minister, Dr. Thema shows you how to reconnect with your authentic self and reclaim your time, your voice, your life. Signs of disconnection from self can take many forms, including people-pleasing, depression, anxiety, and resentment. Healing starts with recognizing and expressing emotions in an honest way and reconnecting with the neglected parts of yourself, but it can’t be done in a vacuum. Dr. Thema gives you the tools to meaningfully connect with your larger community, even if you face racism and sexism, heartbreak, grief, and trauma. Rather than shrinking in the face of life’s difficulties, you will discover in Homecoming the therapeutic approaches and spiritual practices to live a more expansive life characterized by empowerment, healthier relationships, gratitude, and a deeper sense of purpose. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Personal Development, Counselling, Audiobook

253 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 15, 2022

Reviews

[Nat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not intended for those who experienced significant religious trauma/abuse, particularly xtian trauma. Lots of biblical quotes, references to “the creator,” etc. While there’s lots of great content otherwise, unfortunately there’s a general assumption that readers are monotheistic and very comfortable with references to xtianity. For instance, I’d be incredibly triggered if a therapist offered to pray with me, as the author does with her clients. This lens wasn’t clear to me from the marketing material.

Otherwise, the book does blend research with practical approaches fairly well, particularly for those who are newer to self-growth or not dealing with major developmental trauma.

[Maiya Hotchkiss · Rating 2 out of 5]

Way way way too faith centered for me, and nothing shared felt particularly ground breaking or wasn’t something I had heard before. It also felt very repetitive, but I listened to the audiobook so maybe it feels less so when you read a physical copy.

[Tara ☆ Tarasbookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, tender – a healing space. A wonderful homecoming journey guide that I wholeheartedly recommend.

[Desiree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rather do 4.5 but i rounded up. Quite enjoyed and lots of great takeaways.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was like having a conversation with the neighborhood Auntie. Wise. Comforting. Non-judgmental. I especially enjoyed the closing mantra at the end of each chapter, as well as Dr. Thema’s gentle invitation for the reader to consider her questions.

One of my favorite quotes/invitations:

“I invite you to consider who benefits from your insecurities, your sense of inadequacy, and your deflated dreams. There are beneficiaries to oppression, whether they acknowledge it or not.”

[Rana Habib · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 9/10

I usually pride myself on authenticity being one of my virtues, but I noticed as of late that I was having difficulty truly honoring and showing up as my authentic self. So I decided to give this book a go after a really close friend (who is also an avid reader) recommended it to me.

Likes:

Homecoming felt like a hug that I didn't know I needed. Thema's writing style, in general, is very soothing and comforting; she writes with one hand out for you to hold while she guides you through Homecoming. What I loved most about the book is that Thema shows readers how to fully honor our emotions and trauma, judgment-free so that we are no longer bound by them.

Part one, which focused on the internal & external signs of disconnection, was incredible.
Thema explores the different ways disconnection can appear in our lives while providing logical explanations as to why disconnection is prevalent in the first place. Reading about the ways disconnection has shown up in my life -- both consciously and subconsciously -- and understanding the root of my disconnection has helped me tremendously in my healing journey. There were so many things that I do that I didn't realize were signs of disconnection, which really got me thinking about why I do the things that I do.

At the end of every chapter, there's a "homework" section that offers thought-provoking questions based on the chapter's content (which is great for journaling) and different tools to help apply the teachings of Homecoming to your everyday life.

Dislikes:

I didn't have any dislikes but naturally, some parts of the book resonated more than others.

[C]

I love the idea behind this book - coming home to yourself after experiencing traumatic events and relational trauma which may cause you to distance yourself from yourself.

I did not appreciate the amount of diet culture. It was riddled with diet culture and anti-fat bias.

It didn’t start out overly religious, and while I understand the author is also a minister as well as a psychologist, just after the mid-point of the book it becomes overtly Christian which is not a good fit for a lot of the people I was hoping to recommend this book.

I do think the messages within can be helpful, if you’re able to move past the anti-fat bias and religiosity isn’t activating for you.

I especially appreciated the messaging on “engaged parents” helping their kids connect with their areas of interest being healthy. I also appreciate how she explained a lot of us have “lost the capacity for joy.”

[Emily St. Amant · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a beautiful book. Her thoughts on ways to find yourself after experiencing trauma and marginalization are on point and I’m sure many will find this incredibly helpful. She both validates and challenges her listeners from a place of true love and generosity. Her challenge on decolonizing the fields of mental health and psychology are so important and needed. Dr. Bryant is a gift and I highly recommend any and everyone read this.

[Chelsea Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

*runs to the store to buy this book* this book 100% deserves space on my shelf. run don’t walk friends. It’s a book that I’ll return to over and over again to remind myself to come home to myself, always and in all ways.

[Krysta · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️ 4.5 - Recommend for my spiritual and/or religious friends and family. I also recommend to my fellow therapists who are spiritual and/or religious who have interest in incorporating that into sessions with clients who desire a spiritual and/or religious aspect to their healing process. I truly have loved Thema Bryant-Davis since I learned of her and her work from Grad School.

My favorite quotes:

🧡 “Silence has neither protected us from hurt feelings nor filled the empty spaces we carry”

🧡 “Sometimes we remain silent to keep the peace, but I ask you, ‘whose peace are you keeping?’ The person who is clueless of your feelings is at peace but you aren’t. There is a difference between peace and silence”

🧡 “If you pray often but are still judgmental, manipulative, or harsh, you are probably spending a lot of time talking instead of listening.”

🧡 “Healing is a marathon, not a sprint, take as much time as you need”

[Katie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a lot to process in this book. Thema Bryant clearly has a natural talent in speaking empathically and authentically to a wide audience of people with a wide range of experiences and backgrounds.
I know for some, her spiritual and religious perspective is somewhat alienating due to religious abuse. With my own experiences of this, and where I am in reference to it now, I didn't find her views alienating. But I do understand how that could be felt.
It's a very practical and thoughtful meditation on how to move through traumatic experiences and connect somatically and intentionally with what speaks to your own self and soul.

[Sara Troupe · Rating 4 out of 5]

More like a 3.5. A good foundation for learning about healing from trauma. Probably not a book I would recommend to someone further along in their healing journey. Some of the faith-based discussion didn’t connect for me. In the conclusion, Dr. Bryant offers a Closing Blessing and one line from it really stuck with me, “May the sacredness of your being always take priority over the busyness of your doing.”

[Jilian Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

“A must read for anyone going through a transition in life or seeking to learn more about themselves” - Nedra Glover Tawwab

[Andrew Yockey, PhD · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me heal emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. I am now a better person because of this novel.

[Caitlin Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would def recommend. This is such an important topic that I wish was written and spoken about more often. The book offered a thorough and broad "summary" of how we disconnect from and reconnect with ourselves. Lots of practical steps and homework included at the end of chapters too.

[Chelsea Csuhran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Thelma Bryant is truly a marvel. Her ability to unravel the process of homecoming in a way that is digestible, applicable, and from an intersectional approach is incredible. Highly recommend to anyone looking to recover from trauma and find yourself.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second half resonated more with me, solid book. Sometimes a bit repetitive. But lots of good info! ❤️‍🩹🧘🏻‍♀️

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author is weirdly obsessed with fatness. "Over eating" or "emotional eating" comes up any time she mentions any harmful behaviors.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gentle but firm but firm book that addresses healing, trauma, and ways to connect with your heart. Thema is a gifted writer and encourages readers to never give up on their dreams.

[Christann Chanell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those forever books. One that I will ALWAYS refer back to, reference, journal, quite, gift and share! Dr. Thema is a champion for healing and liberation. This book is FILLED with wisdom, tools, and reminders of what’s truly possible when we choose to transform our lives, from the inside out! A Must Read for Everyone! Highly Recommend!!

[LaQuetta Glaze · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: Homecoming by Dr. Thema Bryant

This was my first read of July. Dr. Thema addresses the mode of survival that people often fall into after bouts of disappointment, stress, and trauma. Dr. Thema gives you the tools to restore and return to the most authentic version of yourself. The weight of fear, shame, and trauma is so heavy and sometimes all we can do is survive the moment..the day... and the second. However, the book equips you with the tools to reclaim your time, reclaim your healing, and come home to yourself. A pivotal quote from the book: "Honor yourself for the ways that you have survived."

Highly recommended for those who want to walk in the abundance of life in order to live in the prosperity of love, power, and a sound mind.

#LaQuettaGlaze #Homecoming #DrThemaBryant

[Jamie Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely essential. This book inspired me to finally step out and get the therapy I’ve been needing for a long while

[Rita Schuele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, looks like I am the first one in GOODREADS to read this book. It is a tough read. When you are ready to do some work, this is a good companion.

[Cindy Su · Rating 5 out of 5]

Closing Blessing
May you find ease within yourself.
May your body be safe to relax, your mind be safe to flourish, and your spirit be safe to soar.
May you reclaim your breath, voice, gifts, and fire.
May you glory in the sound of your laughter and delight in the beauty of your dance.
May you forgive, accept, and love yourself fully and courageously.
May you recognize and remember yourself, no matter what is happening around you.
May you give yourself permission to always come home and find the welcome mat in place.
May you connect with kindred spirits for mutual care along the way.
May the sacredness of your being always take priority over the busyness of your doing.
May you know deep down in your bones that you are lovable, and worthy of respect.
May the values of compassion and liberation guide your feet in purposeful living.
May your soul perpetually tell your heart, mind, body, and spirit, “Welcome home.“
Let it be so, and so it is.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I discovered this book after seeing a podcast interview the author had on the Mel Robbins podcast / show. Everything she was saying in that interview resonated with me and my current journey and theme for 2023 and so had to get the book!

I listened to the book instead of reading it and it was like a little wrapped gift with a bow on top of everything that I have learned on my journey of homecoming with some added new lessons that I haven’t heard in the past year.

For some reason, my anxieties have lessened in learning and having them imprinted in my mind to return home to myself.

I highly recommend this book to anyone in the beginning or even in the depths of their self development journey, if they have been feeling lost, healing any type of trauma or just need a little reminder of how to return back home, to ourselves.

5/5

[Shaun Shepard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to start off this review by recognizing the many women of color who I have been looking toward recently to guide my own healing. Nedra Tawwab (@nedratawwab), Tricia Hersey (@thenapministry) and now Thema Bryant have been instrumental in guiding my efforts to live a fuller, more authentic life. Thank you for leading this important work!

Homecoming is yet another resource I have found very useful to navigate through the persistent consequences of my own trauma and personal growth. I had heard a lot of what this book had to say before, but it was helpful to hear it again — in the hopes that it starts to stick! I believe this book can help individuals develop self-confidence and rely on their own strength rather than seeking validation from those around them.

[Lady D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply the most relatable, comprehensive, and inclusive offerings in the Self-Care and Healing space that I’ve encountered to date. Not preachy or judgmental, just down to earth with a solid exploration of the ways living in a fractured, divisive, and challenging world impacts how we show up in everyday life.

I ventured into the Homecoming Podcast which added another layer of relatability to the text. I opted to start listening to the weekly podcast dating back to July 2019, after listening to a couple of current messages which currently total 175.

It’s hard to go wrong when something feels so right. Do yourself a favor, pick up the book and savor the ways you can return to your true and authentic self.

Bravo Dr. Bryant.

[Lucia Santana · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was exactly what I needed. The most helpful book I have read on recovering/creating a sense of self that really strikes the perfect balance between the psychological and spiritual healing, with some personal anecdotes from Dr. Bryant that add to the emotional reach of the book. It not only helps to inform you on how to uncover the parts of yourself that you may have lost, but also actively supports you through the journey by providing journaling exercises based on the concepts addressed in each chapter. It shows you how to put into practice what you have learned (which, ironically, is not particularly common in self-help books) which in turn advances your journey towards self-improvement. My relationship with myself changed as a direct result of this book. Could not recommend it more.

[Angie Vanschoick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had a lot of really good thought points in it - ways to find your true, authentic self. Many of us are doing what we think we should, but may be doing so in detriment to who we truly want to be. There are usable prompts in each chapter to ask yourself deep questions and see if you are showing up as yourself or as you feel others want you to show up.

Written for those who live in marginalized areas - women, BIPOC, LGBTQ+, etc - but useful for all walks of life. There are chapters written specifically for certain types of trauma and topics, so you can read them all or choose what speaks most to you.

[Gabrielle Laske · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful testament to the fact that Christianity and psychology are not diametrically opposed! Seeing my faith, which too often is used to dismiss mental health concerns with a simple "if you're anxious or depressed, you haven't prayed hard enough," so seamlessly interwoven with psychology was refreshing and made me feel seen. That said, it definitely comes from a Christian worldview, so if that does not work for you, you should probably skip this one and look for a different trauma book.

I also loved her discussion on oppression. "The water we swim in" affects us all, and denying it is completely unhelpful. I appreciate her pointing this out and discussing it!