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It Helps with the Blues
Jules leaves. Gabriel rages.
Estelle changes. Joshua hides.
In the aftermath of a classmate's suicide, a boy embroils himself in a community of Midwestern teens, each doing what they can to cope as they stumble—together and apart—toward a life worth living.
Estelle changes. Joshua hides.
In the aftermath of a classmate's suicide, a boy embroils himself in a community of Midwestern teens, each doing what they can to cope as they stumble—together and apart—toward a life worth living.
178 pages, Paperback
Published April 11, 2022
76 people want to read
About the author
Bryan Cebulski
4 books51 followersJournalist and writer of quiet queer fiction. Woodsdweller. Aspiring point-and-click adventure protagonist.
He/Him.
He/Him.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
June 6, 2024
if you have done any of the following things, this is the novel for you:
- smoked grape swishers in a cornfield at night
- had an intense emotional reaction when listening to american football's debut album for the first time
- were taught how to smoke weed by the cool indie girl in high school
- left ill-intentioned drunk text messages to your friends and crushes after drinking the worst alcohol you've ever tasted in your life at a bonfire in someone's backyard
- felt like it was a big deal to visit the city of madison, wisconsin
- developed a spiritual affinity with mark hoppus and/or gerard way as a major stepping stone in your personal development
- smoked grape swishers in a cornfield at night
- had an intense emotional reaction when listening to american football's debut album for the first time
- were taught how to smoke weed by the cool indie girl in high school
- left ill-intentioned drunk text messages to your friends and crushes after drinking the worst alcohol you've ever tasted in your life at a bonfire in someone's backyard
- felt like it was a big deal to visit the city of madison, wisconsin
- developed a spiritual affinity with mark hoppus and/or gerard way as a major stepping stone in your personal development
April 12, 2022
It Helps With the Blues is not a romance.
I first met the author, Bryan Cebulski, when he submitted a poignant post-apocalyptic tale called “From the Sun and Scorched Earth” to Other Worlds Ink for the “Fix the World” anthology. It’s the story of a broken boy – barely a man – who was sent to war and has a hard time coping with peace, and another young man who tries to break through the ex-soldier’s walls. There was something exquisitely beautiful and timeless about the story, and the hopeful but ambiguous way it ended that touched my heart. There are a lot of similarities with this story’s structure.
I didn’t know it at the time, but “From the Sun and Scorched Earth” was Brian’s first official publication (amazing what you learn when you read a book’s afterword LOL). I’m thrilled about that – I still remember the folks who bought my first story. When he asked if I would read his first novel-length work, I jumped at the chance.
As I said up top, it’s not a romance. Nor is it sci-fi in any way, shape, or form, like his first short story. Instead, it’s a deeply felt, non-linear tale of what it’s like to grow up queer in the Midwest, drawn from the author’s own experience. As he explains (talking about the initial chapters):
Like most teenage writing experiments, it felt rushed, sentimental, and confused. But I liked the premise of a boy observing the world around him a la Nick Carraway [The Great Gatsby, which figures prominently in the book], and I knew the near-rural suburban Midwestern setting was something I would never see depicted unless someone like me did it. So I kept working on it.ˆ
I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to tell you that the story starts out with a suicide. Dennis, a character tangentially connected to the first person narrator (whose name we are never told) is a bit younger, and appears briefly at the start. His death sets the stage for a lot of the soul searching later in the story. As the novel progresses, we see why he did it – it’s a little like 13 Reasons Why in that way, but more heartfelt and honest IMHO. No gimmicks here.
The narrator is the son of moderate wealth – his father is a chef who runs a number of restaurants and bars in town. They live in a McMansion and are the object of jealousy for many of the less well-off folks. Our narrator tells us that he was an asshole in Junior High and early high school, but he’s come out of it to be a half decent human being who is mostly drifting through his life.
About half the story is told in flashbacks or epistolary fashion, through letters and essays written to the narrator. This serves to enforce the passivity of the character – things happen to him, but they are rarely initiated by him. His friend/crush Jules explains it best:
Let me dissect you as I would a character in a boring novel for AP English. This character takes a passive role despite seeing himself as the protagonist of his story. He is willing to allow people to bitch at him relentlessly, to absorb all their bullshit. He observes, perhaps quietly judging, with a distant look in his eye.
And bitch they do. The story has four primary characters besides the unnamed narrator, who serve to mirror back reflections of himself and challenge his assumptions about life, his own character, and both the past and future.
Jules is the first to enter the scene, and also the one who provides the coda to the book. She’s on a journey of discovery of her own, bored with their little town and the Midwest in general, and is at times brutally honest with the narrator.
Gabriel comes next. He’s a gay friend of the narrator’s who’s basically a self-righteous asshole who doesn’t suffer fools, and that includes the narrator. He’s also a lost soul who reveals the hollowness at his core in a long letter.
Then Estelle, a non-binary character to whom the narrator was a real asshole years earlier in school. They have a short flirtation, but ultimately he ends up being almost a stalker to them, until a mutual friend tells him to back off.
And finally Joshua, who was a friend to Dennis and is Jules’ younger brother, ends up being the most likeable and sympathetic of the cast.
There’s a little bit of Night Before Christmas here, with each of his friends playing the part of one of the ghosts of his past and future.
So yeah, this is not a romance. It’s an introspective, deep coming-of-age story about being queer in Middle America, and it pulls no punches. I was drawn in by the narrator, and if the ending was less definitive than I’d hoped, well, maybe that’s part of the point. He lives a life of quiet desperation that he convinces himself is contentment. But we see behind the mask, especially when one of his friends rips it to shreds.
And the title? You’ll have to read the book to find out what it means.
This is not the kind of story I normally read. I’m more the sci-fi and fantasy kinda guy. But it’s really well written, and it got to me. I loved the allusions to The Great Gatsby and the sense of being dropped into this kid’s world. It’s full immersion, baby, sink or swim.
I’m gonna be optimistic, and say he was able to swim, in the end.
Five stars.
I first met the author, Bryan Cebulski, when he submitted a poignant post-apocalyptic tale called “From the Sun and Scorched Earth” to Other Worlds Ink for the “Fix the World” anthology. It’s the story of a broken boy – barely a man – who was sent to war and has a hard time coping with peace, and another young man who tries to break through the ex-soldier’s walls. There was something exquisitely beautiful and timeless about the story, and the hopeful but ambiguous way it ended that touched my heart. There are a lot of similarities with this story’s structure.
I didn’t know it at the time, but “From the Sun and Scorched Earth” was Brian’s first official publication (amazing what you learn when you read a book’s afterword LOL). I’m thrilled about that – I still remember the folks who bought my first story. When he asked if I would read his first novel-length work, I jumped at the chance.
As I said up top, it’s not a romance. Nor is it sci-fi in any way, shape, or form, like his first short story. Instead, it’s a deeply felt, non-linear tale of what it’s like to grow up queer in the Midwest, drawn from the author’s own experience. As he explains (talking about the initial chapters):
Like most teenage writing experiments, it felt rushed, sentimental, and confused. But I liked the premise of a boy observing the world around him a la Nick Carraway [The Great Gatsby, which figures prominently in the book], and I knew the near-rural suburban Midwestern setting was something I would never see depicted unless someone like me did it. So I kept working on it.ˆ
I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to tell you that the story starts out with a suicide. Dennis, a character tangentially connected to the first person narrator (whose name we are never told) is a bit younger, and appears briefly at the start. His death sets the stage for a lot of the soul searching later in the story. As the novel progresses, we see why he did it – it’s a little like 13 Reasons Why in that way, but more heartfelt and honest IMHO. No gimmicks here.
The narrator is the son of moderate wealth – his father is a chef who runs a number of restaurants and bars in town. They live in a McMansion and are the object of jealousy for many of the less well-off folks. Our narrator tells us that he was an asshole in Junior High and early high school, but he’s come out of it to be a half decent human being who is mostly drifting through his life.
About half the story is told in flashbacks or epistolary fashion, through letters and essays written to the narrator. This serves to enforce the passivity of the character – things happen to him, but they are rarely initiated by him. His friend/crush Jules explains it best:
Let me dissect you as I would a character in a boring novel for AP English. This character takes a passive role despite seeing himself as the protagonist of his story. He is willing to allow people to bitch at him relentlessly, to absorb all their bullshit. He observes, perhaps quietly judging, with a distant look in his eye.
And bitch they do. The story has four primary characters besides the unnamed narrator, who serve to mirror back reflections of himself and challenge his assumptions about life, his own character, and both the past and future.
Jules is the first to enter the scene, and also the one who provides the coda to the book. She’s on a journey of discovery of her own, bored with their little town and the Midwest in general, and is at times brutally honest with the narrator.
Gabriel comes next. He’s a gay friend of the narrator’s who’s basically a self-righteous asshole who doesn’t suffer fools, and that includes the narrator. He’s also a lost soul who reveals the hollowness at his core in a long letter.
Then Estelle, a non-binary character to whom the narrator was a real asshole years earlier in school. They have a short flirtation, but ultimately he ends up being almost a stalker to them, until a mutual friend tells him to back off.
And finally Joshua, who was a friend to Dennis and is Jules’ younger brother, ends up being the most likeable and sympathetic of the cast.
There’s a little bit of Night Before Christmas here, with each of his friends playing the part of one of the ghosts of his past and future.
So yeah, this is not a romance. It’s an introspective, deep coming-of-age story about being queer in Middle America, and it pulls no punches. I was drawn in by the narrator, and if the ending was less definitive than I’d hoped, well, maybe that’s part of the point. He lives a life of quiet desperation that he convinces himself is contentment. But we see behind the mask, especially when one of his friends rips it to shreds.
And the title? You’ll have to read the book to find out what it means.
This is not the kind of story I normally read. I’m more the sci-fi and fantasy kinda guy. But it’s really well written, and it got to me. I loved the allusions to The Great Gatsby and the sense of being dropped into this kid’s world. It’s full immersion, baby, sink or swim.
I’m gonna be optimistic, and say he was able to swim, in the end.
Five stars.
March 19, 2022
Low-key and subtle despite the serious, dramatic subject matter, this is one of the most realistic depictions of college town queer teen depression and coming of age I've read. Hovers in that supposedly unmarketable but, in my opinion, invaluable zone where it would be of equal interest and approachability to middle/high school students and to adult readers of literary fiction. Definitely read this when it comes out if you enjoy midwestern emo, coming of age stories, and somewhat meandering character studies.
May 14, 2022
A physically tiny novel about a group of teenagers in the Midwest, in the suburban/rurality of Madison, WI, seeking to understand themselves, their identities, gender and sexuality, their places in this world, their individual worlds, and each longing, in different ways, for personal connection. Told in a non-linear style, using a variety of structures, this is the tumultuous world of adolescence, where parents are essentially non-existent, where the big questions are propelled to the surface by the suicide of a teen they knew to some degree, the events, and their connections to the dead teen, sometimes looked back upon from a distance of years, filtering through love, loss, confusion, and how to be. Gender and sexual fluidity is prevalent - the unnamed first-person narrator likens himself to Nick Carroway in The Great Gatsby, the observational teen from a divorced, though privileged home, who is infatuated with the female Jules, but also has a crush on his sometime-friend Gabriel, who is gay and generally entranced by younger androgynous boys; drinking, too, is prevalent, teens perceiving themselves as more mature and adult than the actually are, understanding what alcohol can do, to loosen them up, to find themselves, or lose themselves. A YA book in subject matter but the look-back, the distance of time, gives it depth and thoughtfulness, definitely a book with heart. Not my usual reading material, but I'm glad to have read it. How different and similar lives are for teenagers through the years - how there has been advancement in thinking when it comes to gender identity and sexual identity and fluidity, and these teens run the range - from gay to bisexual to asexual, to nonconforming, experimenting with as much honesty as they have available to them at this time in their lives.
April 9, 2022
It's a snapshot of teens at a liminal age. They're old enough to drink and pair off and yet still childlike in their excitement of discovering themselves as people. They're fascinated by the immediate moment and how it affects them. They draw us into that moment, too, as observers. If high school felt anything like this for you, you are back there when you read this story.
These kids are about to launch themselves disorderedly into their adult queer lives. It is the right time, though they have no idea what their adulthoods will bring.
I wrote more on Medium (no paywall).
P.S. Tales like It Helps with the Blues are something of which you can get alerts through the tRaum Books Patreon. Also: Did you know you can buy books on the gaming site Itch? I did not. Indeed, It Helps with the Blues is buyable on Itch.
These kids are about to launch themselves disorderedly into their adult queer lives. It is the right time, though they have no idea what their adulthoods will bring.
I wrote more on Medium (no paywall).
P.S. Tales like It Helps with the Blues are something of which you can get alerts through the tRaum Books Patreon. Also: Did you know you can buy books on the gaming site Itch? I did not. Indeed, It Helps with the Blues is buyable on Itch.
April 15, 2022
The intensity of teenage years written with the clarity of adulthood. I first read this book the end of last year, and the sober tone struck me and made me nostalgic for an experience that felt both universal and unique to a time and place I had not personally lived through. BLUES follows five teenagers processing their first feelings of grief, and of, what next? (After a person dies, after you analyze what you personally could have done better, after you grow up and lose the people around you.) All of this is filtered through the lens of an unnamed narrator, a conduit who feels himself both above and below those around him.
BLUES is written with a self-awareness (but not too much awareness); a sort of meta-consciousness that awareness does not equate to the power to change the situation, or oneself. At the end, we can only be who we are. There's no sweeping redemption, there are quiet moments of wisdom; rambling walks through the dark that bring us closer only for a moment; letters from people who are going to be archived soon. This writing is gentle, sad, classic.
BLUES is written with a self-awareness (but not too much awareness); a sort of meta-consciousness that awareness does not equate to the power to change the situation, or oneself. At the end, we can only be who we are. There's no sweeping redemption, there are quiet moments of wisdom; rambling walks through the dark that bring us closer only for a moment; letters from people who are going to be archived soon. This writing is gentle, sad, classic.
May 6, 2023
There is a tendency for lonely, disconnected teenagers to fall too deeply into introspection. To observe their own life as they live it, both Nick Caraway and Jay Gatsby in their own story, hurdling towards their destruction, their eyes open. I know this because I was this kind of teenager. The narrator of It Helps with the Blues knows this too.
I'm not old enough to know if manic-pixie-dream-girls existed before Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind gave them a name. But I know that all too often, lonely, disconnected teenagers are looking for an external saviour. This thing we feel when we find the person we think will save us, will give us meaning, will make us finally not alone–it's not love. But it's not exactly not love either. Only it's too much to ask someone else to save you. Especially someone who needs saving just as much as we do. It's not just unfair. It's impossible. It ends in heartache. It ends in tragedy.
When I was in high school, I felt like my life was recursive, like I would be given the same choice over and over in different contexts until maybe–I hoped, if I made the right decision–I could escape the loop. Jules. Gabriel. Estelle. Joshua. The narrator is trapped in a Midwestern prison of suburbia and recriminations, doomed like Sisyphus to endlessly repeat and reexamine his mistakes.
It Helps with the Blues pours one out for the lonely kids. That was me. Maybe that was you, too.
I'm not old enough to know if manic-pixie-dream-girls existed before Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind gave them a name. But I know that all too often, lonely, disconnected teenagers are looking for an external saviour. This thing we feel when we find the person we think will save us, will give us meaning, will make us finally not alone–it's not love. But it's not exactly not love either. Only it's too much to ask someone else to save you. Especially someone who needs saving just as much as we do. It's not just unfair. It's impossible. It ends in heartache. It ends in tragedy.
When I was in high school, I felt like my life was recursive, like I would be given the same choice over and over in different contexts until maybe–I hoped, if I made the right decision–I could escape the loop. Jules. Gabriel. Estelle. Joshua. The narrator is trapped in a Midwestern prison of suburbia and recriminations, doomed like Sisyphus to endlessly repeat and reexamine his mistakes.
It Helps with the Blues pours one out for the lonely kids. That was me. Maybe that was you, too.
June 4, 2022
a free copy of this book was provided by the publisher for an honest review
This small book packs a punch. It took me a while to finish this since I kept stopping and starting. I was a heavy read for me, and had me very much in my feelings. The story is told by an unnamed narrator who's experiencing the height of melancholiness. Someone that he vaguely knows has killed himself and the people around are all reacting to it differently.
Jules leaves
She was my least favorite. She's just the least interesting of side characters. Her last words perfectly ended the book though. It's a question that the narrator had been trying to answer all along. Jules was someone he could latch onto but once she ran away he felt untethered. He spiraled out of control from there.
Gabriel rages
Gabriel was just as sad and depressed as the narrator was. But instead of them bonding over that fact, Gabriel lashed out and kinda took his frustrations out on the narrator. Gabriel's backstory made me very sympathetic to him. Heartbreak is relatable as hell. I was curious if both characters had repressed feelings for each other but a crappy friendship was all I picked up from these two.
Estelle changes
Estelle is the outlier of the side characters. They are from the narrator's past and act as a catalyst for his projected growth. I liked how they weren't out to humble or hurt the narrator, which is where I thought the story was heading going. Instead, Estelle showed the narrator how to be comfortable in his own skin.
Joshua hides
Joshua was a sweetheart. The weight he'd been carrying around could have easily broken him. The interactions he had with the narrator were the most heartfelt to me. He was the one to call the narrator out on his shit and made him see that he truly needed help.
The narrator is passive and is just the vehicle for these characters stories to be told. In the end, I feel like I both know him well and not at all. I loved reading this and highly recommend it.
This small book packs a punch. It took me a while to finish this since I kept stopping and starting. I was a heavy read for me, and had me very much in my feelings. The story is told by an unnamed narrator who's experiencing the height of melancholiness. Someone that he vaguely knows has killed himself and the people around are all reacting to it differently.
Jules leaves
She was my least favorite. She's just the least interesting of side characters. Her last words perfectly ended the book though. It's a question that the narrator had been trying to answer all along. Jules was someone he could latch onto but once she ran away he felt untethered. He spiraled out of control from there.
Gabriel rages
Gabriel was just as sad and depressed as the narrator was. But instead of them bonding over that fact, Gabriel lashed out and kinda took his frustrations out on the narrator. Gabriel's backstory made me very sympathetic to him. Heartbreak is relatable as hell. I was curious if both characters had repressed feelings for each other but a crappy friendship was all I picked up from these two.
Estelle changes
Estelle is the outlier of the side characters. They are from the narrator's past and act as a catalyst for his projected growth. I liked how they weren't out to humble or hurt the narrator, which is where I thought the story was heading going. Instead, Estelle showed the narrator how to be comfortable in his own skin.
Joshua hides
Joshua was a sweetheart. The weight he'd been carrying around could have easily broken him. The interactions he had with the narrator were the most heartfelt to me. He was the one to call the narrator out on his shit and made him see that he truly needed help.
The narrator is passive and is just the vehicle for these characters stories to be told. In the end, I feel like I both know him well and not at all. I loved reading this and highly recommend it.
April 20, 2022
In the Afterward the author explains the genesis of this novel originating from his teenage emotions which become later filtered through his adult understanding with overt influence from 'The Great Gatsby'. These elements create a work that combines the sensations of very personal moments within a detached narrative. Even when he is at the party, the narrator is watching without any sense of belonging.
Other people's stories of love, loss, and suicide happen around him, while he reaches for the next bottle of expensive whisky. Even within their flawed existences, these are very self aware teenagers who analyse themselves and their motives searching for understanding and meaning. The conscious stylistic decision to have a passive narrator forces questions of identity and how we respond to other people's tragedies to the forefront of the reading experience. Characters make judgements on each other and the narrator in a manner which examines how we create our own identities and how we sometimes simplify and complicate the people around us to reinforce our own sense of self.
Other people's stories of love, loss, and suicide happen around him, while he reaches for the next bottle of expensive whisky. Even within their flawed existences, these are very self aware teenagers who analyse themselves and their motives searching for understanding and meaning. The conscious stylistic decision to have a passive narrator forces questions of identity and how we respond to other people's tragedies to the forefront of the reading experience. Characters make judgements on each other and the narrator in a manner which examines how we create our own identities and how we sometimes simplify and complicate the people around us to reinforce our own sense of self.
January 14, 2023
A fine little book, infused with midwestern atmosphere, but relatable to anyone who's been any sort of teenager in any place. The author's bio calls it "quiet" - that is true, not with regards to the events and emotions depicted, but in terms of the mood, style and setting. It feels like the story is paddling in place while exploring the various characters and their contrasting emotions; fitting, because the main character also floats without direction as the aftermath of a suicide stirs the social currents that had been carrying him. There's a lot of teenage angst here, but depicted with a sympathetic detachment that makes it readable for adults. I'd recommend this to queer teenagers with an interest in literary fiction and to adults who are interested in reexamining the pains, challenges and multifaceted characters they encountered in their stressful formative years.
March 15, 2022
Such a great read! It Helps with the Blues is an ephemeral trip down a lightly travelled literary landscape shared with the likes of Fitzgerald and Salinger. Beautifully written, it's a raw stylized look into the tumultuous world of teenage love and loss. This coming of age story is a roller-coaster of emotions and self-discovery. Navigating what it means to find oneself while losing others along the way, the young narrator takes readers on a complicated journey of introspection they won't soon forget. With almost reckless abandon, he wanders through the threads of this story teetering on the edge of his own inborn privilege and a need to turn his back on it all in favor of his own 'humble inadequacy.' This story burns through and through, and stays with you long after its simmering outcome.
April 10, 2022
Actual rating: 4.5
Thanks to BookSirens and the author for providing me with an early copy. The book comes out in April 2022.
"It's the thing you do when you're out of other options; when you feel so irrelevant to the universe, you do something extravagantly foolish just to feel something."
That feeling when you randomly pick a book and go into it without any expectations and then end up loving it.
I would describe this kind of as a “slice of life” novel that follows a group of teenagers who are all to some degree affected by a suicide of a boy they knew. There are multiple povs, each giving us bits of information on what happened as well as how these teens are connected. Now the novel is pretty short and it's more of a character study that brings out certain topics of growing up, sexuality, depression and so on. The characters we get to know are quite mature and capable of self-reflecting on their past actions as they’re also trying to determine their place in the world. I think the story has this certain aura of sadness and the feeling of being lost that you experience when you’re about to enter adulthood, and even more when you get faced with serious issues for the first time.
Although it wasn’t directly specified, I have to say I was also pleasantly surprised that there is a whole chapter dedicated to a boy who describes his experience of being aromantic asexual. I have such a hard time finding books with ace representation but now one has found me.
Overall, a nice little read that definitely made me feel a bit nostalgic for those teenage days.
Review also posted on my blog.
Thanks to BookSirens and the author for providing me with an early copy. The book comes out in April 2022.
"It's the thing you do when you're out of other options; when you feel so irrelevant to the universe, you do something extravagantly foolish just to feel something."
That feeling when you randomly pick a book and go into it without any expectations and then end up loving it.
I would describe this kind of as a “slice of life” novel that follows a group of teenagers who are all to some degree affected by a suicide of a boy they knew. There are multiple povs, each giving us bits of information on what happened as well as how these teens are connected. Now the novel is pretty short and it's more of a character study that brings out certain topics of growing up, sexuality, depression and so on. The characters we get to know are quite mature and capable of self-reflecting on their past actions as they’re also trying to determine their place in the world. I think the story has this certain aura of sadness and the feeling of being lost that you experience when you’re about to enter adulthood, and even more when you get faced with serious issues for the first time.
Although it wasn’t directly specified, I have to say I was also pleasantly surprised that there is a whole chapter dedicated to a boy who describes his experience of being aromantic asexual. I have such a hard time finding books with ace representation but now one has found me.
Overall, a nice little read that definitely made me feel a bit nostalgic for those teenage days.
Review also posted on my blog.
February 9, 2023
This short novel ends with a question that, in one form or another, the story has been asking its narrator throughout. One perplexing imperative life imposes on each adolescent is to learn what they want—want in life, want from others, want themselves to be. High school, perhaps the shittiest period in many people’s lives, is where our maturation begins to require us to be responsible for our own vulnerability and for the harm we can do to vulnerable others—to learn to be non-shitty.
The novel’s unnamed narrator is staring down the end of high school and, beyond that, a drab, lukewarm future in his family’s prosperous business that will demand little of him. Like many teenagers, he is self-absorbed and unambitious—or rather, at a loss as to what ambitions he might conceivably hold. Though privileged, he is not haughty; he dwells in a state of quiet distance from others, a gulf he occasionally attempts to bridge with alcohol abuse. His only close friends, longtime crush Jules and occasional hook-up Gabriel, begin to orbit away from him after a classmate’s suicide shocks them all—but how this tragedy truly acts on them is to widen cracks already present.
The painful lesson awaiting the narrator is that to desire to relate to someone can be to burden them—to be infatuated can be to instrumentalise another—to long for another human, that most natural of impulses, can be dehumanising. Because a person is a person through other people, there is a danger that what he wants from Jules can end up forcibly defining her, even for Jules herself. He must come to realise what his knowledge or understanding does not extend to. One must not assume one always has the resources to figure other people out—and attempts to figure them out can actually be defensive struggles to avoid the much more emotionally perilous endeavour of relating to them.
Sexual and gender identity form significant elements of this tale, but I hesitate to call it a queer coming-of-age. Queerness in the end is a single facet of the narrator’s persona and experiences, part of the larger existential process of growing up which condemns him to learn about himself. His social isolation and personal dysphoria worsen and his drinking tips into unhealthiness, until it becomes urgent that, even at the cost of letting go of lost hopes of happiness, he find his people and define himself.
The novel’s unnamed narrator is staring down the end of high school and, beyond that, a drab, lukewarm future in his family’s prosperous business that will demand little of him. Like many teenagers, he is self-absorbed and unambitious—or rather, at a loss as to what ambitions he might conceivably hold. Though privileged, he is not haughty; he dwells in a state of quiet distance from others, a gulf he occasionally attempts to bridge with alcohol abuse. His only close friends, longtime crush Jules and occasional hook-up Gabriel, begin to orbit away from him after a classmate’s suicide shocks them all—but how this tragedy truly acts on them is to widen cracks already present.
The painful lesson awaiting the narrator is that to desire to relate to someone can be to burden them—to be infatuated can be to instrumentalise another—to long for another human, that most natural of impulses, can be dehumanising. Because a person is a person through other people, there is a danger that what he wants from Jules can end up forcibly defining her, even for Jules herself. He must come to realise what his knowledge or understanding does not extend to. One must not assume one always has the resources to figure other people out—and attempts to figure them out can actually be defensive struggles to avoid the much more emotionally perilous endeavour of relating to them.
Sexual and gender identity form significant elements of this tale, but I hesitate to call it a queer coming-of-age. Queerness in the end is a single facet of the narrator’s persona and experiences, part of the larger existential process of growing up which condemns him to learn about himself. His social isolation and personal dysphoria worsen and his drinking tips into unhealthiness, until it becomes urgent that, even at the cost of letting go of lost hopes of happiness, he find his people and define himself.
April 28, 2022
It Helps with the Blues follows the story of an unnamed narrator growing up in the Midwest and how the suicide of a classmate affects him and his closest friends.
I loved how this book was written. It reads as though you’re sitting with an old friend who you haven’t seen in years, as they fill you in on what’s been going on in their life since. I liked how each character we were introduced too shared their own views on how they were dealing with the loss.
The only downfall for me was that we didn’t get to know the main character as much as the others. Only that he is a bisexual 18y/o who comes from a well off single parent household & has a drinking issue. Even though this doesn’t take away from the story, I just wished for there to be more.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I loved how this book was written. It reads as though you’re sitting with an old friend who you haven’t seen in years, as they fill you in on what’s been going on in their life since. I liked how each character we were introduced too shared their own views on how they were dealing with the loss.
The only downfall for me was that we didn’t get to know the main character as much as the others. Only that he is a bisexual 18y/o who comes from a well off single parent household & has a drinking issue. Even though this doesn’t take away from the story, I just wished for there to be more.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 27, 2022
Wow! This is one of those stories that come along and you can't help feeling like you just read something profoundly insightful and interpersonal. This is full of teenage angst, loss and coming of age trials and tribulations. I would 100% recommend. If you like Jeffrey Eugenides The Virgin Suicides I think this is a book for you.
June 26, 2022
It Helped with the Blues
When I read the synopsis, my gut feeling was not to jump up immediately and to add it to my must-read shelf. But something was intriguing, and it wasn't just the cover's warmth and gentle typography. So I bought the ebook and loaded it onto my phone so I'd have it ready for a pocket of quiet time. A few days later, I sat down and began reading, and kept reading, and kept reading.
Even though life and coming of age in the mid west is probably the most unrelatable setting, I found myself surprised at how eager I was to read on. The book does an excellent job of weaving together the various characters' stories into a cohesive package that never felt too meandering or too short.
What I found most surprising, and initially unrealistic, was the emotional maturity and introspection all but one character in the book displayed. However, as more and more of each character's story got filled in, the more realistic it felt. I also realized that a lot of time has passed and so so much has changed since I was that age. Ultimately, the emotional maturity that I was skeptical about, ended up giving me a real glimmer of hope. If just some of the kids are coming to age with the ability to examine their lives and their emotions to such a degree, I truly believe things will be headed in the right direction.
In a time when just opening the news is usually a source of depression, the feeling of warmth that I felt after coming to that conclusion really helped with the blues.
When I read the synopsis, my gut feeling was not to jump up immediately and to add it to my must-read shelf. But something was intriguing, and it wasn't just the cover's warmth and gentle typography. So I bought the ebook and loaded it onto my phone so I'd have it ready for a pocket of quiet time. A few days later, I sat down and began reading, and kept reading, and kept reading.
Even though life and coming of age in the mid west is probably the most unrelatable setting, I found myself surprised at how eager I was to read on. The book does an excellent job of weaving together the various characters' stories into a cohesive package that never felt too meandering or too short.
What I found most surprising, and initially unrealistic, was the emotional maturity and introspection all but one character in the book displayed. However, as more and more of each character's story got filled in, the more realistic it felt. I also realized that a lot of time has passed and so so much has changed since I was that age. Ultimately, the emotional maturity that I was skeptical about, ended up giving me a real glimmer of hope. If just some of the kids are coming to age with the ability to examine their lives and their emotions to such a degree, I truly believe things will be headed in the right direction.
In a time when just opening the news is usually a source of depression, the feeling of warmth that I felt after coming to that conclusion really helped with the blues.
May 2, 2022
THE CHARACTERS ARE BEAUTIFUL.
I really cannot express how much I enjoyed reading everyone’s story. I loved how it ended, it was really poetic and the build up towards it was perfect.
100% vibes, love this book <3
I read this book for free thanks to BookSirens, but my opinions are 100% honest.
I really cannot express how much I enjoyed reading everyone’s story. I loved how it ended, it was really poetic and the build up towards it was perfect.
100% vibes, love this book <3
I read this book for free thanks to BookSirens, but my opinions are 100% honest.
August 25, 2022
I absolutely adore the design of these books, they feel so nice to hold and read. The cover art is really beautiful and has an inviting film noir feel.
April 30, 2022
A small book that deals with huge issues in a very perceptive, witty and moving way. It does so through a vividly realized sense of place, well-drawn characters, authentic sounding dialogue and a several laugh-out-loud jokes. And it does all this in 178 pages, thanks to the author's spare yet elegantly lucid style. PT Barnum's famous maxim "Always leave them wanting more" unfortunately doesn't seem to be applied to novels these days. This novel is a very good example of why it should be.
June 10, 2022
I found this to be a very believable account of a young person going through self-exploration. Young people, I should say, since the searching voices of all of the characters are as exquisitely pitched and convincing as that of the narrator. I felt as though I were being catapulted back in time to my teenage self. Thanks to the publisher for the ARC, and my review is in no way related to the fact that I received a free copy of the book.
August 1, 2022
this book!!!! it's wild how much emotional depth is packed into so few pages. it's also wild just how deeply this book stuck with me since initially reading it.
in the months between reading this book and writing this review, IT HELPS WITH THE BLUES has stayed with me, floating around in my brain, popping up every now and then to be like "hey, remember me?" the scenes with estelle in particular stuck with me - i was so intrigued by their dynamic with the narrator, and the characters' brief flirtation was heart-warming and a bit heart-breaking at the same time, but more than anything, it felt real and complicated. and that's one of the things that i think this book does best: it always has authenticity and subtlety and complexity at its forefront.
this book is low-key and introspective and pulls no punches, and it's so good precisely because of those things. if this were written by someone else, i can see the actions taking place in this book being played up for melodrama, hammed up for an audience, made Bigger and Cinematic--but instead of treating these characters like they're in a movie, this book treats them like they're people, and i don't know about y'all, but that is one of the things i absolutely love when reading (and it's one of the things i hope to achieve in my own writing). plus, i've always loved a nick carrawy-esque narrator, and this book achieves that effortlessly.
if you're in the market for an introspective, emotionally-nuanced, beautifully written, coming-of-age YA novella, definitely pick up IT HELPS WITH THE BLUES. <3
in the months between reading this book and writing this review, IT HELPS WITH THE BLUES has stayed with me, floating around in my brain, popping up every now and then to be like "hey, remember me?" the scenes with estelle in particular stuck with me - i was so intrigued by their dynamic with the narrator, and the characters' brief flirtation was heart-warming and a bit heart-breaking at the same time, but more than anything, it felt real and complicated. and that's one of the things that i think this book does best: it always has authenticity and subtlety and complexity at its forefront.
this book is low-key and introspective and pulls no punches, and it's so good precisely because of those things. if this were written by someone else, i can see the actions taking place in this book being played up for melodrama, hammed up for an audience, made Bigger and Cinematic--but instead of treating these characters like they're in a movie, this book treats them like they're people, and i don't know about y'all, but that is one of the things i absolutely love when reading (and it's one of the things i hope to achieve in my own writing). plus, i've always loved a nick carrawy-esque narrator, and this book achieves that effortlessly.
if you're in the market for an introspective, emotionally-nuanced, beautifully written, coming-of-age YA novella, definitely pick up IT HELPS WITH THE BLUES. <3
August 3, 2022
I agree with Briar Page's comment, almost to the letter. I most appreciated the novel's subtlety and honesty about relationships in a small town, among a small, offbeat cohort, something I could easily relate to! I came to appreciate the narrator's voice and grew more and more absorbed by his predicament throughout this concise novel. I always looked forward to reading the next segment and look forward to more from this writer.
April 15, 2022
*I received an e-arc of this book from BookSirens in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.*
CW: references to suicide.
It Helps With the Blues was... different.
Not necessarily bad different. And I thought the idea was good, just maybe not for me.
It Helps With the Blues is a short book, around the length of a novella, that is loosely inspired by The Great Gatsby (which becomes meta, as the main character becomes obsessed with TGG as well as Fitzgerald's other works, and compares himself to Nick, who is the model for this character).
It hit me about 2/3 of the way through the story that that was what was happening. The story was disjointed, but also meant to feel that way, but it also wasn't until that point when I realized when I didn't know the main character's name. The story is told in the first person, a bisexual 18yo boy getting ready to graduate from high school when a younger boy from his school kills himself. The rest of the story is how that impacts the MC and his friends/acquaintances, all of whom we seem to know better than the MC. The MC almost vanishes within the stories and feelings of everyone else, as the story becomes about them, rather than the MC.
I liked that the story showed how someone's suicide can affect those who survive them, even if they didn't necessarily know each other well, or even more than in passing. It illustrated mental health, but didn't really name anything, which I didn't like, and it seemed to blame the issues on stupid things - but it's the other characters making those assumptions, and I disagree with them often. While the writing is really good stylistically, and the execution of this idea was really good, I realized as I neared the book's end that I didn't really like any of the main characters, which got worse as the story progressed, building over time. Too many characters were making too many assumptions of other people, especially of the boy who died, even the characters who had known him well. Ironically, I like The Great Gatsby more than this. Did I really like the characters in that either - not really, but I thought they were more interesting and less annoying. The characters here, especially Jules, Joshua, and Gabriel, make so many assumptions, and they seem increasingly more condescending and presumptuous.
All in all, I would recommend this for those who are looking for a ya story that is written more as a piece of literary fiction, stylistically and characteristically.
CW: references to suicide.
It Helps With the Blues was... different.
Not necessarily bad different. And I thought the idea was good, just maybe not for me.
It Helps With the Blues is a short book, around the length of a novella, that is loosely inspired by The Great Gatsby (which becomes meta, as the main character becomes obsessed with TGG as well as Fitzgerald's other works, and compares himself to Nick, who is the model for this character).
It hit me about 2/3 of the way through the story that that was what was happening. The story was disjointed, but also meant to feel that way, but it also wasn't until that point when I realized when I didn't know the main character's name. The story is told in the first person, a bisexual 18yo boy getting ready to graduate from high school when a younger boy from his school kills himself. The rest of the story is how that impacts the MC and his friends/acquaintances, all of whom we seem to know better than the MC. The MC almost vanishes within the stories and feelings of everyone else, as the story becomes about them, rather than the MC.
I liked that the story showed how someone's suicide can affect those who survive them, even if they didn't necessarily know each other well, or even more than in passing. It illustrated mental health, but didn't really name anything, which I didn't like, and it seemed to blame the issues on stupid things - but it's the other characters making those assumptions, and I disagree with them often. While the writing is really good stylistically, and the execution of this idea was really good, I realized as I neared the book's end that I didn't really like any of the main characters, which got worse as the story progressed, building over time. Too many characters were making too many assumptions of other people, especially of the boy who died, even the characters who had known him well. Ironically, I like The Great Gatsby more than this. Did I really like the characters in that either - not really, but I thought they were more interesting and less annoying. The characters here, especially Jules, Joshua, and Gabriel, make so many assumptions, and they seem increasingly more condescending and presumptuous.
All in all, I would recommend this for those who are looking for a ya story that is written more as a piece of literary fiction, stylistically and characteristically.
April 26, 2022
Ebook provided by BookSirens for review. Thank you.
This was a strange and engaging little book. We follow a nameless narrator and his connections? I'm not sure how to word it. We open with our narrator and his friend Jules just hanging out, she then invites Dennis who is struggling with something. We later learn that Dennis has taken his own life.
What follows is our narrator pondering over his various friendships, peppered with letters some have written themselves. In fact the only person who doesn't write a letter is Estelle. Once upon a time he bullied them - sidenote but I loved how self-aware he was about his past mistakes - but a chance meeting leads to an almost something, the overarching theme to this section is his pride in Estelle discovering their identity, and getting rid of an apparently racist boyfriend.
Our other characters are Gabriel, openly gay and angry at the world, and Joshua, Jules's younger brother who had a connection to Dennis and feels partially responsible. A small cast yet effective in its simplicity.
At 178 pages by GoodReads description this is a short book and I think that would be my main criticism. It is great as it is but I wanted more. More backstory, more connections. I wasn't a fan of the way things were abandoned with Gabriel and I hated how abrupt the ending was. Did our narrator sort his crap out? Who was he?
This was a strange and engaging little book. We follow a nameless narrator and his connections? I'm not sure how to word it. We open with our narrator and his friend Jules just hanging out, she then invites Dennis who is struggling with something. We later learn that Dennis has taken his own life.
What follows is our narrator pondering over his various friendships, peppered with letters some have written themselves. In fact the only person who doesn't write a letter is Estelle. Once upon a time he bullied them - sidenote but I loved how self-aware he was about his past mistakes - but a chance meeting leads to an almost something, the overarching theme to this section is his pride in Estelle discovering their identity, and getting rid of an apparently racist boyfriend.
Our other characters are Gabriel, openly gay and angry at the world, and Joshua, Jules's younger brother who had a connection to Dennis and feels partially responsible. A small cast yet effective in its simplicity.
At 178 pages by GoodReads description this is a short book and I think that would be my main criticism. It is great as it is but I wanted more. More backstory, more connections. I wasn't a fan of the way things were abandoned with Gabriel and I hated how abrupt the ending was. Did our narrator sort his crap out? Who was he?
June 13, 2022
I don’t usually write reviews so I’m not sure what’s supposed to be in them, but this book is absolutely worth picking up. It’s well written and kept my attention from start to finish. It is tonally very different from the books I most often read (WW2 historical fiction and contemporary romance, if I’m being honest), but it helped me understand a piece of life I’ve not really lived and isn’t that kind of what books are about?
This is a queer coming of age story set in a small Midwestern town that tackles the varying emotions that accompany teenagers dealing with a classmate’s suicide (a complicated task that I think the author does really well, though some characters have vices that are either too grown up for their age or I was just too sheltered a teenager to know are real). It’s likely to be different from anything else you read this year, and I highly suggest you give it a go.
This is a queer coming of age story set in a small Midwestern town that tackles the varying emotions that accompany teenagers dealing with a classmate’s suicide (a complicated task that I think the author does really well, though some characters have vices that are either too grown up for their age or I was just too sheltered a teenager to know are real). It’s likely to be different from anything else you read this year, and I highly suggest you give it a go.
April 11, 2022
I was a bit skeptical in picking up this book due to the topics that it covers but I am glad that I picked it up. I think the book does a good job of handling a teenager's reaction to growing up and the confusion that comes along with that. I liked the way that other people's letters were included throughout this book to add to the story and how the letters were written for our main character but seemed to be speaking to the reader. I also liked the way that the main character was directly speaking to you as a reader as they explained life events to try to explain his actions. There were moments in which I was frustrated with our main character because of the way the character speaks to others and of others. I was also frustrated with the biphobia in this book and what seemed to be mocking of sexuality and gender by some of the characters.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
April 12, 2022
I found the main character in this book fully insufferable, and didn't like the other characters much better. The main character was repeatedly self-absorbed and so convinced that he was less egotistical than he had been in the past, when I viewed him as someone who had barely stopped being a bully, much less achieved significant character growth. I wanted much better for Estelle and Jules, and found Gabriel the most complex and interesting character. I really wanted to love this book as I love nearly all queer books, but I didn't. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
May 30, 2022
A thoughtful reflection on the complexities of teenage life, I enjoyed the author’s conscious, literary execution.
The narrative is languid, in a good way, but there were moments I found the contemporary dialogue jarring. Like the narrator’s literary hero, F. Scott Fitzgerald l, the narrative has a lush 30s flavour, so phrases like “Real Mean Girls shit” snapped me out of the fictive dream. Like Fitzgerald, the author employs the use of letters to great effect.
I’d definitely recommend this book if you’re looking for something other than the wise-cracking teenagers currently in vogue.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
The narrative is languid, in a good way, but there were moments I found the contemporary dialogue jarring. Like the narrator’s literary hero, F. Scott Fitzgerald l, the narrative has a lush 30s flavour, so phrases like “Real Mean Girls shit” snapped me out of the fictive dream. Like Fitzgerald, the author employs the use of letters to great effect.
I’d definitely recommend this book if you’re looking for something other than the wise-cracking teenagers currently in vogue.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
April 16, 2022
Thanks to Booksirens, the author and publisher for a copy of this novel.
This was an interesting book to read. The protagonist is described brilliantly within the last chapter, and without giving away any spoilers, this story provides more of an observation of the characters around him, as opposed to going in depth about himself. It shows a brief insight into the teenage years, and most certainly could have delved deeper. However, I did enjoy the read, as well as the different gender identities and sexualities explored.
This was an interesting book to read. The protagonist is described brilliantly within the last chapter, and without giving away any spoilers, this story provides more of an observation of the characters around him, as opposed to going in depth about himself. It shows a brief insight into the teenage years, and most certainly could have delved deeper. However, I did enjoy the read, as well as the different gender identities and sexualities explored.
June 27, 2022
Deceptively slight novel about queerness, youth, restless navel-gazing, and the Midwest.
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