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The Diary of River Song #10
The Diary of River Song: Two Rivers and a Firewall
Professor River Song returns in four new adventures. She encounters royalty, killer robots and her own, occupied tomb, before being reunited in the digital afterlife with Proper Dave.
10.1 The Two Rivers by Tim Foley
River Song finds herself on an irresistible mission - investigating the tomb of the legendary River Song! Except the statues don't resemble her and the tomb contains the body of someone very different... or does it?
10.2 Beauty on the Inside by Lizzie Hopley
It would seem to be a perfectly ordinary painting of a forgettable royal family — so why did a biochemist smuggle it out of a closed colony at the cost of her own life? River is determined to find out.
10.3 Black Friday by Lauren Mooney and Stewart Pringle
Omnia Forum might just be the greatest shop in the galaxy and it’s celebrating two hundred years at the heart of the retail sector. But when River attends the celebratory gala she finds it less ‘everything must go’ and more ‘everything has gone’… apart from the Autons.
10.4 Firewall by Barnaby Kay
River is living her dream life with her dream husband. But every paradise has a serpent and this husband might not quite be up to the task.
10.1 The Two Rivers by Tim Foley
River Song finds herself on an irresistible mission - investigating the tomb of the legendary River Song! Except the statues don't resemble her and the tomb contains the body of someone very different... or does it?
10.2 Beauty on the Inside by Lizzie Hopley
It would seem to be a perfectly ordinary painting of a forgettable royal family — so why did a biochemist smuggle it out of a closed colony at the cost of her own life? River is determined to find out.
10.3 Black Friday by Lauren Mooney and Stewart Pringle
Omnia Forum might just be the greatest shop in the galaxy and it’s celebrating two hundred years at the heart of the retail sector. But when River attends the celebratory gala she finds it less ‘everything must go’ and more ‘everything has gone’… apart from the Autons.
10.4 Firewall by Barnaby Kay
River is living her dream life with her dream husband. But every paradise has a serpent and this husband might not quite be up to the task.
Audio CD
First published August 3, 2022
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About the author
Tim Foley
177 books17 followersTim Foley is an artist and illustrator born in Flint, Michigan, in 1962. Over the past quarter century, his clients have included national and international magazines, book publishers, and advertising agencies such as the Wall Street Journal, Cricket Magazine, New York Newsday, LA Weekly, and the Chronicle of Higher Education. He currently lives and works in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
September 11, 2022
My general impression- fun (as expected) and I feel entertained. However, none of the stories have blown my mind.
"The Two Rivers"- started out surprising, however, as soon as one knows what is going on... it becomes pretty straight forward. It reminded me a lot of the latest Missy release (featuring the nun).
It is still entertaining, though.
"Beauty on the Inside"- first, I found this a bit confusing. But the bits start coming together and it turns into a weird "Frankenstein's Monsters" story. It is still a good idea, and I was reminded of the TV story "Smile". But at least for me, it does not come together seamlessy.
"Black Friday"- the best story of this set. I love these mystery abandoned space station settings. It starts off haunting and creepy, and although it is obvious pretty early what is going on with the sole survivor (I assume, we all have seen the 11th Doctor TV series), it keeps the tension. Not sure the villain was used to the full extent of the possibilities, though.
"Firewall". Well, if this would have been the first story of this kind at BF, it would have been original and clever.
However, I felt right from the start that this was going to be a "gimmick" story, doing some weird audio and story-telling elements that first confused me and and then went their usual way.
I think this would have worked much better in a visual medium, like it did on the TV show when introducing the Library. They try here, but it just does not come together so well.
I also thought the ending was not that satisfying.
First, because of the backstory of the villain and the "Oh, it was just a big misunderstanding, whoops, sorry! and then.... I am not sure how River would really react on being imprisoned in a computer program for her afterlife, but I am pretty sure it would not end in her playing "happy families". Honestly, I think she would somehow try to escape, lure in some bionic race and get herself a new shiny cyborg body.
This just feels a bit pointless by the end and yes, it is built around the gimmick of "Hey! Proper Dave is back!" which is a nice continuity call-back, but not much more.
So all in all, enjoyable set of stories. The performances again are wonderful, however, the stories are not perfect or mind-blowing. For me, the third story was definitely the best.
One of the weaker River releases.
"The Two Rivers"- started out surprising, however, as soon as one knows what is going on... it becomes pretty straight forward. It reminded me a lot of the latest Missy release (featuring the nun).
It is still entertaining, though.
"Beauty on the Inside"- first, I found this a bit confusing. But the bits start coming together and it turns into a weird "Frankenstein's Monsters" story. It is still a good idea, and I was reminded of the TV story "Smile". But at least for me, it does not come together seamlessy.
"Black Friday"- the best story of this set. I love these mystery abandoned space station settings. It starts off haunting and creepy, and although it is obvious pretty early what is going on with the sole survivor (I assume, we all have seen the 11th Doctor TV series), it keeps the tension. Not sure the villain was used to the full extent of the possibilities, though.
"Firewall". Well, if this would have been the first story of this kind at BF, it would have been original and clever.
However, I felt right from the start that this was going to be a "gimmick" story, doing some weird audio and story-telling elements that first confused me and and then went their usual way.
I think this would have worked much better in a visual medium, like it did on the TV show when introducing the Library. They try here, but it just does not come together so well.
I also thought the ending was not that satisfying.
First, because of the backstory of the villain and the "Oh, it was just a big misunderstanding, whoops, sorry! and then.... I am not sure how River would really react on being imprisoned in a computer program for her afterlife, but I am pretty sure it would not end in her playing "happy families". Honestly, I think she would somehow try to escape, lure in some bionic race and get herself a new shiny cyborg body.
This just feels a bit pointless by the end and yes, it is built around the gimmick of "Hey! Proper Dave is back!" which is a nice continuity call-back, but not much more.
So all in all, enjoyable set of stories. The performances again are wonderful, however, the stories are not perfect or mind-blowing. For me, the third story was definitely the best.
One of the weaker River releases.
December 19, 2022
And the crazy woman with that frizzy hair is back! And it’s two-tons of outrageous fun and just wait until … oh … right … spoilers.
The Two Rivers - River Song is on a quest to find the tomb of … River Song, but what happens when she finds it. And it’s occupied with … River Song? And then she wakes up. Um … wait a tick … oh … right … spoilers. Not the greatest River Song adventure, but it’s still absolutely wonderful (4/5).
Beauty On The Inside - It starts out as an auction gone wrong and becomes a miasma of internal royal conflict. It’s a mess. This one didn’t really appeal to me (2/5).
Black Friday - A shopping spree gone wrong. As wrong as can be (3/5).
Firewall - I enjoyed this one, but I have some problems with it. Unfortunately, I can’t really talk about those problems without … SPOILERS Here’s the problem - it occurs AFTER the events of Silence in the Library & Forest of the Dead, and that means it takes place after River dies. Sure she’s saved in the library computer, but she’s still deceased. And I’d rather have not gone there, I’d rather have left those as the final stories of her life. And thus revealing this, not only spoils the end of those episodes, but also the hook for this audio-drama. So, I’m really conflicted on this one. So, yeah, major spoilers, but problems that I cannot quite balance out. I did enjoy it though. Except it’s hard to reconcile where the story direction went with how much I enjoyed it (3/5).
And, of course, there’s the usually interviews with members of the cast and crew as bonus features. Sadly, this came across for me as one of the weaker sets for River Song, still entertaining and all, but not quite what I’d hope for, and not quite up to the expected reputation that this series has earned from previous sets (3/5).
The Two Rivers - River Song is on a quest to find the tomb of … River Song, but what happens when she finds it. And it’s occupied with … River Song? And then she wakes up. Um … wait a tick … oh … right … spoilers. Not the greatest River Song adventure, but it’s still absolutely wonderful (4/5).
Beauty On The Inside - It starts out as an auction gone wrong and becomes a miasma of internal royal conflict. It’s a mess. This one didn’t really appeal to me (2/5).
Black Friday - A shopping spree gone wrong. As wrong as can be (3/5).
Firewall - I enjoyed this one, but I have some problems with it. Unfortunately, I can’t really talk about those problems without … SPOILERS Here’s the problem - it occurs AFTER the events of Silence in the Library & Forest of the Dead, and that means it takes place after River dies. Sure she’s saved in the library computer, but she’s still deceased. And I’d rather have not gone there, I’d rather have left those as the final stories of her life. And thus revealing this, not only spoils the end of those episodes, but also the hook for this audio-drama. So, I’m really conflicted on this one. So, yeah, major spoilers, but problems that I cannot quite balance out. I did enjoy it though. Except it’s hard to reconcile where the story direction went with how much I enjoyed it (3/5).
And, of course, there’s the usually interviews with members of the cast and crew as bonus features. Sadly, this came across for me as one of the weaker sets for River Song, still entertaining and all, but not quite what I’d hope for, and not quite up to the expected reputation that this series has earned from previous sets (3/5).
January 4, 2025
The two rivers is amazing!
September 15, 2022
A pretty mixed bag. The Auton episode was amazing, great to see these villains given a proper sci-fi treatment - invading spaceships rather than London department stores. The final episode (with the apparently long awaited return of Proper Dave) had a good premise but fell a bit flat. I love the concept of setting an episode in the Library data-core, after River's death, but I think the writers could have gone all-in a bit more. Brought back the whole cast, made it a two-parter (or four-parter) and upped the ante a little. 3 stars.
August 11, 2024
Four unconnected stories featuring River Song, most of them with direct thematic or plot links back to the TV series. It's not one of the stronger collections in the series, perhaps partly because of the disjointed nature, but there are still some good stories in it.
The Two Rivers – River joins an archaeological expedition to explore the lost tomb of River Song… and determine who is really buried there and why they are using her name. The explanation doesn’t arrive until about a third of the way through, up until which we have a fast-paced Indiana Jones style story with River spending most of the time being confused. From then on, however, into a time travel story that mirrors key elements of River’s plot arc on the TV series, littered with warnings about paradoxes. It’s not as timey-wimey as it might be and, in fact, is linear enough that it shouldn’t be that hard to follow. The strength of the story is instead in River’s relationship with the other River, played by Mimî Khayisa, who we get to understand better as events unfold. It all makes for a story that’s ultimately more positive than it looks to be at the outset (those sections are fun, but they do have a high death count) and that takes a look at an established aspect of the character that has largely been left to one side. 4 stars.
Beauty on the Inside - Here, River heads to a colony world that has mysteriously cut off communication with the rest of the galaxy. There are some shenanigans at the beginning about an auction where a painting made on the planet is being sold; this feels bolted on, even though it does lead towards the main story. Once on the planet, there is quite a lot of strangeness with the mostly insane members of the ruling family and a character with an odd voice distort that’s never quite explained (I originally assumed he was meant to be an alien, but he very much isn’t). This is lifted slightly by a side story about a local farmer suffering under the rulers’ unjust policies and there is an attempt to make this a critique of vanity and anti-aging cosmetics, although this is shallow and ends up falling flat. On the other hand, the strangeness doesn’t make it difficult to follow, even if the villains’ motives are hampered by their obvious insanity. The result is decent but unremarkable and could probably have worked just as well with a different character in the lead. 3 stars.
Black Friday – River arrives on a planet occupied solely by a vast shopping centre… that seems entirely devoid of visitors or staff. The premise initially seems a little like that of Paradise Towers, but it soon becomes clear that it isn't as River meets a friendly inhabitant and they try to find a way to escape. Things soon turn out to be worse than they thought, leading to a fair bit of running around and dodging weapons fire. It’s a solid River story, with a clear connection to the Doctor Who universe, and enlivened by giving the monsters a voice through the shopping centre’s faux-helpful customer interface. The twist is perhaps a bit obvious in advance, especially since it's apparent that we're not getting the full story from very early on. But, aside from that, it's entertaining with a fair bit of action, and has something of the feel of its TV era. 4 stars.
Firewall – The set concludes with something new to the audio series – a story set after the events of Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead. Essentially, something has gone wrong with River’s digital afterlife and she no longer has the tools to deal with it, being an incomplete memory trace in what should be a peaceful suburb. Featuring the return of Proper Dave and other characters from the TV story, it’s a fairly direct sequel, set primarily inside the virtual reality of the planet's data core. Additional ‘real world’ scenes provide context and give us an unusually sympathetic view of a deranged villain. It’s also enlivened by a smarmy piece of malware and an above-average child actor playing Charlotte (children are always difficult to play in these things, but here it manages to work). 4 stars.
The Two Rivers – River joins an archaeological expedition to explore the lost tomb of River Song… and determine who is really buried there and why they are using her name. The explanation doesn’t arrive until about a third of the way through, up until which we have a fast-paced Indiana Jones style story with River spending most of the time being confused. From then on, however, into a time travel story that mirrors key elements of River’s plot arc on the TV series, littered with warnings about paradoxes. It’s not as timey-wimey as it might be and, in fact, is linear enough that it shouldn’t be that hard to follow. The strength of the story is instead in River’s relationship with the other River, played by Mimî Khayisa, who we get to understand better as events unfold. It all makes for a story that’s ultimately more positive than it looks to be at the outset (those sections are fun, but they do have a high death count) and that takes a look at an established aspect of the character that has largely been left to one side. 4 stars.
Beauty on the Inside - Here, River heads to a colony world that has mysteriously cut off communication with the rest of the galaxy. There are some shenanigans at the beginning about an auction where a painting made on the planet is being sold; this feels bolted on, even though it does lead towards the main story. Once on the planet, there is quite a lot of strangeness with the mostly insane members of the ruling family and a character with an odd voice distort that’s never quite explained (I originally assumed he was meant to be an alien, but he very much isn’t). This is lifted slightly by a side story about a local farmer suffering under the rulers’ unjust policies and there is an attempt to make this a critique of vanity and anti-aging cosmetics, although this is shallow and ends up falling flat. On the other hand, the strangeness doesn’t make it difficult to follow, even if the villains’ motives are hampered by their obvious insanity. The result is decent but unremarkable and could probably have worked just as well with a different character in the lead. 3 stars.
Black Friday – River arrives on a planet occupied solely by a vast shopping centre… that seems entirely devoid of visitors or staff. The premise initially seems a little like that of Paradise Towers, but it soon becomes clear that it isn't as River meets a friendly inhabitant and they try to find a way to escape. Things soon turn out to be worse than they thought, leading to a fair bit of running around and dodging weapons fire. It’s a solid River story, with a clear connection to the Doctor Who universe, and enlivened by giving the monsters a voice through the shopping centre’s faux-helpful customer interface. The twist is perhaps a bit obvious in advance, especially since it's apparent that we're not getting the full story from very early on. But, aside from that, it's entertaining with a fair bit of action, and has something of the feel of its TV era. 4 stars.
Firewall – The set concludes with something new to the audio series – a story set after the events of Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead. Essentially, something has gone wrong with River’s digital afterlife and she no longer has the tools to deal with it, being an incomplete memory trace in what should be a peaceful suburb. Featuring the return of Proper Dave and other characters from the TV story, it’s a fairly direct sequel, set primarily inside the virtual reality of the planet's data core. Additional ‘real world’ scenes provide context and give us an unusually sympathetic view of a deranged villain. It’s also enlivened by a smarmy piece of malware and an above-average child actor playing Charlotte (children are always difficult to play in these things, but here it manages to work). 4 stars.
March 5, 2023
Hmm, mixed bag here. First story was great; second one was extremely weird and honestly pretty annoying; third was decent, but extremely predictable; and the last was a nice epilogue for River's last chronological story (the Library). Average set overall, but it was worth it for the first and last stories, at least.
November 14, 2023
This one was tons of fun! Two Rivers was a delight with River meeting another version of herself and having an adventure. Beauty on the Inside was an interesting take on monstrosity and beauty. Black Friday was predictable, yet a very tight story. And Firewall brings River back to where we first met her. The climax is bit meh but loads of fun getting there.
August 23, 2022
De los cuatro relatos, el de las dos River y el de firewall, me parecieron los mejores, un gran libro tenía tiempo sin escuchar nada de Dr who, no porque no salgan estas madres son muy divertidas y mejor escritas que los últimos capítulos de la serie de Dr who.
October 27, 2023
This was a fun little boxset. Nothing outstanding, but nothing bad either. River is always a good character to listen to, Alex has so much personality as an actress and she always shines as River.
Nice to see a follow-up from Silence in the library with CAL and proper dave.
Nice to see a follow-up from Silence in the library with CAL and proper dave.
September 7, 2022
The second story was wonky?
October 10, 2022
River meets some people and has adventures but am not sure who she is. Not a great listen stories.
June 20, 2024
The Two Rivers - 3.5 stars
Beauty on the Inside - 4 stars
Black Friday - 3.5 stars
Firewall - 4.5 stars
Beauty on the Inside - 4 stars
Black Friday - 3.5 stars
Firewall - 4.5 stars
January 24, 2023
Going into "Two Rivers," I thought the story was gonna involve River meeting Mels or something. But it turns out that she meets and alternate universe incarnation of herself who comes later in her timeline over there. Probably the most interesting of the set, though "Firewall" comes close. So I guess it's mainly the titular stories, while the ones in the middle are kind of just fun.
December 26, 2024
Contains four stories:
The Two Riviers
Beauty on the Inside
Black Friday
Firewall
The Two Riviers
Beauty on the Inside
Black Friday
Firewall
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews