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Who Are You Calling Vermin?
'Maybe the polluters will purify our streams. Purify our waterways? In your bloomin' dreams! All will be rewilded, all will be renewed, The country will look lovely, But we won't have any food. Our stocks will be sustainable, The French will be our friends, We shall live in harmony, until the bitter end.' Hidden beyond the bluebell woods and babbling brooks, there is great unrest in our countryside. In this lyrical satire, Pam Ayres highlights the undercurrents simmering beyond the patchwork of fields. We meet the angry fishermen who can't afford to live in their own villages, the indignant farmers who get the blame for everything and the old man grieving for the unspoilt village of his youth. The animals have their say too, from the persecuted grey squirrel who didn't want to leave America anyway, the barn owl mourning his now-converted ancient barn, and the humble maligned mole, all of whom come together and demand to Who Are You Calling Vermin?
96 pages, Hardcover
Published September 8, 2022
2 people are currently reading
48 people want to read
About the author
Pam Ayres
83 books38 followersPam Ayres is a poet and published author of children's books. Some of her published credits include Guess Who, Guess What, Piggo and the Fork Lift Truck.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
October 14, 2022
"Everybody loves the red,
they bless his cotton socks,
Everyone apart from me,
I've given him the pox.
No body likes grey squirrels;
With contempt they look at me,
But I am not to blame,
For I was shipped across the sea."
Pam Ayres takes a look at the unrest in the countryside, (it's not all a bed of roses), from the fishermen who can no longer afford the live in their villages because the houses have all been bought up for air b b'day vs or holiday homes, to owls whose barns have all been converted into (often second) homes, to the much maligned grey squirrel who never asked to be brought over to make our lawns pretty. Told with her usual satirical sense of humour, and read in my head with her distinctive West country burr.
they bless his cotton socks,
Everyone apart from me,
I've given him the pox.
No body likes grey squirrels;
With contempt they look at me,
But I am not to blame,
For I was shipped across the sea."
Pam Ayres takes a look at the unrest in the countryside, (it's not all a bed of roses), from the fishermen who can no longer afford the live in their villages because the houses have all been bought up for air b b'day vs or holiday homes, to owls whose barns have all been converted into (often second) homes, to the much maligned grey squirrel who never asked to be brought over to make our lawns pretty. Told with her usual satirical sense of humour, and read in my head with her distinctive West country burr.
October 1, 2022
Wonderful and thought provoking
November 15, 2022
A poetry book that reflects news headline rural England whose audience is older white guys rather than my experience living in rural England. It could be improved by a poem from point of view of vegans supporting arable farmers bemused by the idea that we somehow don't eat stuff grown in the UK.
December 15, 2023
The book deals with key issues, but offers no nuanced opinion on it. Which some sections being good others tiresome it over all does not have the lasting positive impression needed for 4 stars.
January 4, 2023
This is absolutely marvellous!!! It is the script for a play and is ready to go, should the funding, production and direction ever get off the ground.
The poetry and song lyrics are very good indeed. Pam Ayres is a British institution who has written and read her works, some very funny, some sad and some poignant, over many years. She does TV programmes and will be familiar to many theatre and event goers as a regular performer.
The whole thrust of this book is about changes in our country and our countryside, our villages, towns and all communities. Development and Climate Change, intensive farming and the sale of cottages for letting and second homes.....many traditional jobs and countryside activities changing.
There are strong messages here, told in a straightforward way but all the better for that.
I'm not sure how this would 'travel' for readers from other countries apart from the UK but I think the issues are pretty universal if some of the characters are more familiar to a UK audience. I doubt this would be too much of an issue. It is typically well written!
Bought as a present for my wife by her closest friend, I read this too, at her suggestion and wasn't disappointed.
A very definite 5 stars and a great way to start 2023!
The poetry and song lyrics are very good indeed. Pam Ayres is a British institution who has written and read her works, some very funny, some sad and some poignant, over many years. She does TV programmes and will be familiar to many theatre and event goers as a regular performer.
The whole thrust of this book is about changes in our country and our countryside, our villages, towns and all communities. Development and Climate Change, intensive farming and the sale of cottages for letting and second homes.....many traditional jobs and countryside activities changing.
There are strong messages here, told in a straightforward way but all the better for that.
I'm not sure how this would 'travel' for readers from other countries apart from the UK but I think the issues are pretty universal if some of the characters are more familiar to a UK audience. I doubt this would be too much of an issue. It is typically well written!
Bought as a present for my wife by her closest friend, I read this too, at her suggestion and wasn't disappointed.
A very definite 5 stars and a great way to start 2023!
November 11, 2022
I was greatly saddened not to have had the opportunity to see Pam at the Stratford Literary Festival 2022 where she was promoting this book (she unfortunately had to cancel).
However, I do hope to one day see this wonderfully prescient, lyrical satire performed just as she has envisioned. It’s such a positive way to raise awareness and garner support to effect changes in the way we view and treat our rural communities, landscape and wildlife.
However, I do hope to one day see this wonderfully prescient, lyrical satire performed just as she has envisioned. It’s such a positive way to raise awareness and garner support to effect changes in the way we view and treat our rural communities, landscape and wildlife.
December 5, 2022
If you're going to read any book this year please let it be this one.
Never been a more relevant book on life nowadays with funny quips and humour encompassing the dire realities of our life.
I love also referring back to " back in my day " like it was all perfect then, we may be in dire situations but we have come far in terms of other realms.
Stark realities, humour and absolutely fabulous illustrations!
Never been a more relevant book on life nowadays with funny quips and humour encompassing the dire realities of our life.
I love also referring back to " back in my day " like it was all perfect then, we may be in dire situations but we have come far in terms of other realms.
Stark realities, humour and absolutely fabulous illustrations!
November 19, 2022
Well what a beautiful illustrated book which does sum up country conflict so well. It highlights some serious issues with amazing humour and does make you think. So glad I got it and going to read it again
November 10, 2022
Very clever and thought provoking, I’ve always loved Pam Ayres since little, and this didn’t disappoint!
November 23, 2022
As ever Pam Ayres at her witty & satirical self ,hitting home points many of us worry about now even more with our current economic crisis, which will hit Rural area's just as hard if not harder than those who live in Urban or City area's. As always as you read the Book you can hear Pam's Cotswold accent which adds to the experience & also brings a warm smile to your face. This is a Book that will have a proud place upon one of my Bookshelves once I've reorganised them & I will also be buying other copies to give to friends who I also know will enjoy every line . #Betweenthecovers, #FB, #Instagram, #Amazon.co.uk, # GoodReads
April 5, 2024
Pam Ayres is terrific. I think wayback I might have found her frivolous. There is nothing frivolous about the way we live now. We’ve ruined lives, polluted rivers and treated animals with contempt. Beautiful drawings accompany this script. There’s some hope at the end, but not much.
November 20, 2022
Well written in the sense of a play, with great illustrations, highlighting the issues between the environment, animals and the people involved
January 23, 2024
A regrettably true tale depicting the impact us humans have on nature told from the viewpoint of various characters.
February 16, 2025
I really hope Pam Ayres manages to make this into a musical.
December 25, 2025
cute sketches, sad reality of gentrification and the british countryside
February 5, 2023
Well, wasn't sure this was for me. But I love poetry and wildlife. Pam Ayres from my past, always made you laugh. And did she do just that. Such talent. And written as a play...get it on stage asap. It would be fantastic. Not a long read. The messages are very powerful. Wraps up today's world. Well done Pam. Enjoy, everyone.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews