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Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs
New 2022, 3rd edition!
In the post 911 world, people are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. The rise of the Internet; increasingly sophisticated knowledge about how to influence and manipulate others; and the growing vulnerabilities of people across the planet-make for a dangerous, potentially devastating combination. Dr. Steven Hassan's revised book, Freedom of Mind , provides the knowledge and awareness needed to help yourself and loved ones avoid or escape from such dangerous people and situations. The world has changed greatly in the last decade. The rise of the Internet, the emergence of global terrorism and of dangerous totalistic ideologies, and the shifts in global markets-these and other changes have created new opportunities for unscrupulous individuals, groups, and institutions to exert unethical control over others. Freedom of Mind exposes the techniques and methods that individuals, cults, and institutions of all types-religious, business, therapeutic, educational, governmental-use to undo a person's capacity to think and act independently. Meanwhile, people are becoming increasingly vulnerable. Sleep-deprived, overweight and looking to improve themselves, overloaded with often frightening images and information; anxious about the current economic decline, climate change, and government corruption on all levels. People are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. Freedom of Mind book aims to fill the gap. It identifies and explains how to identify and evaluate potentially dangerous groups and individuals. Hassan details his groundbreaking approach, the 'Strategic Interactive Approach,' which can be used to help a loved one leave such a situation. Step-by-step, Hassan shows you how evaluate the situation; interact with dual identities; develop communication strategies using phone calls, letter writing and visits; understand and utilize cult beliefs and tactics; use reality-testing and other techniques to promote freedom of mind. He emphasizes the value of meeting with trained consultants to be effectively guided and coached and also to plan and implement effective interventions. The best way to protect yourself and your loved ones is knowledge and awareness.
In the post 911 world, people are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. The rise of the Internet; increasingly sophisticated knowledge about how to influence and manipulate others; and the growing vulnerabilities of people across the planet-make for a dangerous, potentially devastating combination. Dr. Steven Hassan's revised book, Freedom of Mind , provides the knowledge and awareness needed to help yourself and loved ones avoid or escape from such dangerous people and situations. The world has changed greatly in the last decade. The rise of the Internet, the emergence of global terrorism and of dangerous totalistic ideologies, and the shifts in global markets-these and other changes have created new opportunities for unscrupulous individuals, groups, and institutions to exert unethical control over others. Freedom of Mind exposes the techniques and methods that individuals, cults, and institutions of all types-religious, business, therapeutic, educational, governmental-use to undo a person's capacity to think and act independently. Meanwhile, people are becoming increasingly vulnerable. Sleep-deprived, overweight and looking to improve themselves, overloaded with often frightening images and information; anxious about the current economic decline, climate change, and government corruption on all levels. People are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. Freedom of Mind book aims to fill the gap. It identifies and explains how to identify and evaluate potentially dangerous groups and individuals. Hassan details his groundbreaking approach, the 'Strategic Interactive Approach,' which can be used to help a loved one leave such a situation. Step-by-step, Hassan shows you how evaluate the situation; interact with dual identities; develop communication strategies using phone calls, letter writing and visits; understand and utilize cult beliefs and tactics; use reality-testing and other techniques to promote freedom of mind. He emphasizes the value of meeting with trained consultants to be effectively guided and coached and also to plan and implement effective interventions. The best way to protect yourself and your loved ones is knowledge and awareness.
265 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 9, 2022
162 people are currently reading
1411 people want to read
About the author
Steven Hassan
10 books353 followersDr. Steven Hassan is one of the world's foremost experts on undue influence. Licensed mental health counselor and an exit counselor. Hassan was an early advocate of exit counseling, and is the author of two books on the subject of "cults", and what he describes as their use of mind control, thought reform, and the psychology of influence in order to recruit and retain members.
Himself a former member of the Unification Church, after spending one year assisting with involuntary deprogrammings, he developed what he describes as his own non-coercive methods for helping members of alleged cults to leave their groups, and developed therapeutic approaches for counseling former members in order to help them overcome the purported effects of cult membership.
Himself a former member of the Unification Church, after spending one year assisting with involuntary deprogrammings, he developed what he describes as his own non-coercive methods for helping members of alleged cults to leave their groups, and developed therapeutic approaches for counseling former members in order to help them overcome the purported effects of cult membership.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
July 16, 2016
After bingeing on a bunch of Scientology books, I came across this one which was recommended by several ex-members. It explains how cults gain and maintain control of people, and what you can do to help your loved ones who have joined one.
It reads a bit like a text-book, because Hassan explains the methodology and provides case studies and examples. He lays out a process you can use to gradually gain or regain someone's trust, create dissonance in their thinking about the cult, and then provide support for them if they decide to leave. As he explains, you can't force someone to leave a cult, and arguing won't budge them either. You can only encourage them to re-evaluate their needs and wants, and attempt to show them that they would be better off outside the cult than in it.
What I particularly like is that Hassan acknowledges the truth that no-one is perfect and there are often serious problems between families and friends. Those problems or personality traits can create the opening for a cult to attract someone, or hinder the recovery process. But Hassan gives ideas for dealing with those issues in a way that is honest and can even be helpful in communicating with people who are stuck in a cult and are ready to leave.
There's no sugar-coating here: people are weird and messy and difficult, and even when we love someone that isn't always enough for a good relationship. But Hassan has seen people overcome that and help each other to become stronger, and those stories are among the best parts of this book.
It reads a bit like a text-book, because Hassan explains the methodology and provides case studies and examples. He lays out a process you can use to gradually gain or regain someone's trust, create dissonance in their thinking about the cult, and then provide support for them if they decide to leave. As he explains, you can't force someone to leave a cult, and arguing won't budge them either. You can only encourage them to re-evaluate their needs and wants, and attempt to show them that they would be better off outside the cult than in it.
What I particularly like is that Hassan acknowledges the truth that no-one is perfect and there are often serious problems between families and friends. Those problems or personality traits can create the opening for a cult to attract someone, or hinder the recovery process. But Hassan gives ideas for dealing with those issues in a way that is honest and can even be helpful in communicating with people who are stuck in a cult and are ready to leave.
There's no sugar-coating here: people are weird and messy and difficult, and even when we love someone that isn't always enough for a good relationship. But Hassan has seen people overcome that and help each other to become stronger, and those stories are among the best parts of this book.
April 20, 2023
Hassan's seminal book, Combating Cult Mind Control was the first non-fiction tome I'd read about the subject when as a young mind wanting to understand cults better. To say it was life-changing in its insightful lessons would be an understatement, and I would still thoroughly recommend the book to anyone wanting to learn more about the subject.
Freedom of Mind is a sort of follow up book, more focussed on practical advice to help a family or friend that you want to leave a destructive group. While there are a few updates and tips about basic Cult practices, the focus is much more on how to non-judgmentally but persuasively help people.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it as an intro text, but definitely if like me you kind of devour any cult book you can get your hands on its a welcome addition.
Freedom of Mind is a sort of follow up book, more focussed on practical advice to help a family or friend that you want to leave a destructive group. While there are a few updates and tips about basic Cult practices, the focus is much more on how to non-judgmentally but persuasively help people.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it as an intro text, but definitely if like me you kind of devour any cult book you can get your hands on its a welcome addition.
June 10, 2016
When I picked up this book I was trying to understand why so many people run off to join ISIS, because it is mostly described as a terrorist organization. But, thinking of it as a cult gave me insight as to why people join. Destructive influence is a very real and scary thing.
As a writer and mental health counselor, Hassan is very transparent about his purpose, his sources and the process he's developed. He emphasizes compassion and empowerment for the person leaving the cult and also for the love ones who are involved with the process of recovery. Anyone really, depending on what is happening in life, can fall victim to destructive influence. I would also say that this book is helpful too when looking at cases of domestic violence, human trafficking and abuse.
I am currently reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma which makes for an interesting pairing with Hassan's book overall, recognizing the trauma of being in a cult situation.
As a writer and mental health counselor, Hassan is very transparent about his purpose, his sources and the process he's developed. He emphasizes compassion and empowerment for the person leaving the cult and also for the love ones who are involved with the process of recovery. Anyone really, depending on what is happening in life, can fall victim to destructive influence. I would also say that this book is helpful too when looking at cases of domestic violence, human trafficking and abuse.
I am currently reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma which makes for an interesting pairing with Hassan's book overall, recognizing the trauma of being in a cult situation.
December 14, 2023
Steven Hassan is an expert! He's a brilliant researcher and has really good fundamental ideas. That being said, I don't know if he's the strongest author. I found myself grinding to finish the book, rather than deeply enjoying it. Maybe it just got a little long toward the end. I listened to it on a plane and since my hands weren't busy I have lots of notes.
Caveat: This book is highly geared toward helping someone leave a cult. That's not applicable to me, but helping myself avoid controlling ideas or authoritarian control *is* very relevant. I want to make decisions based on what I think is right, rather than what's currently culturally acceptable, or based on whatever biases I have accumulated.
Raw Notes:
- There's a false idea that mind control is everywhere and there's nothing we can do about it. That is false. It's not. Undue influence is a continuum and there are healthy and unhealthy levels of influence.
- Undue influence: If an organization asserts there there is no institutional way to leave with honor
- Undue influence: How does the cult talk about former members?
- Undue influence: "happiness is suffering and suffering is happiness". A way to reality test is to ask "What do you mean when you say you're happy?" This helps to describe the deeper emotions and the connected behaviors.
- Another reality test is: "If you were unhappy, would you admit it? Would you tell me? What would make you feel unhappy enough to question or walk away?"
- Former members of cults often express anguish over damage done to their psyches and to important relationships, they feel sorry about lost educational and career opportunities. Even worse, they feel guilty about the people they've recruited, the money they've collected or donated, and their unethical behavior while members. The longer they stay involved, the deeper the regrets.
- For loved ones outside of the cult, the idea that "Cult leaders will never care about the person the way that you do" can provide comfort and hope.
- If a cult member moves away from cult behavior, never bring it up or reinforce it. This reengages the cult identity.
- The most powerful cult tactic is phobia indoctrination.
- Unspecified threats and warnings can be the most damaging. e.g. "if you leave the cult you will; never be happy, terrible things will happen to you, lose salvation". These are more damaging than specific threats, because specific threats are easily proven wrong. e.g. "If you leave the cult you will be financially ruined" -- all it takes is a cult member leaving and maintaining financial stability to rid themselves of that phobia. With unspecific threats, current cult members can stretch to find fulfilment in former members lives "see they're getting a divorce, bad things happened because they left".
I was raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Over the last few years my beliefs have changed dramatically and I no longer believe the truth claims of the church. For those who know that I've left, I want to be clear that Steven Hassan never mentions the word "mormon" in this book. He doesn't refer to it at all. I don't believe the LDS Church is a cult and I think there's (rightly so) a lot of negative associations with the term cult. That being said, if there are parallels between Steven Hassan's work and LDS rhetoric or beliefs, we should examine those beliefs carefully to understand where we're exhibiting undue influence or authoritarian control.
I think Steven Hassan's BITE model is a great starting point for examining our relationships with individuals and organizations - https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-c....
Caveat: This book is highly geared toward helping someone leave a cult. That's not applicable to me, but helping myself avoid controlling ideas or authoritarian control *is* very relevant. I want to make decisions based on what I think is right, rather than what's currently culturally acceptable, or based on whatever biases I have accumulated.
Raw Notes:
- There's a false idea that mind control is everywhere and there's nothing we can do about it. That is false. It's not. Undue influence is a continuum and there are healthy and unhealthy levels of influence.
- Undue influence: If an organization asserts there there is no institutional way to leave with honor
- Undue influence: How does the cult talk about former members?
- Undue influence: "happiness is suffering and suffering is happiness". A way to reality test is to ask "What do you mean when you say you're happy?" This helps to describe the deeper emotions and the connected behaviors.
- Another reality test is: "If you were unhappy, would you admit it? Would you tell me? What would make you feel unhappy enough to question or walk away?"
- Former members of cults often express anguish over damage done to their psyches and to important relationships, they feel sorry about lost educational and career opportunities. Even worse, they feel guilty about the people they've recruited, the money they've collected or donated, and their unethical behavior while members. The longer they stay involved, the deeper the regrets.
- For loved ones outside of the cult, the idea that "Cult leaders will never care about the person the way that you do" can provide comfort and hope.
- If a cult member moves away from cult behavior, never bring it up or reinforce it. This reengages the cult identity.
- The most powerful cult tactic is phobia indoctrination.
- Unspecified threats and warnings can be the most damaging. e.g. "if you leave the cult you will; never be happy, terrible things will happen to you, lose salvation". These are more damaging than specific threats, because specific threats are easily proven wrong. e.g. "If you leave the cult you will be financially ruined" -- all it takes is a cult member leaving and maintaining financial stability to rid themselves of that phobia. With unspecific threats, current cult members can stretch to find fulfilment in former members lives "see they're getting a divorce, bad things happened because they left".
I was raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Over the last few years my beliefs have changed dramatically and I no longer believe the truth claims of the church. For those who know that I've left, I want to be clear that Steven Hassan never mentions the word "mormon" in this book. He doesn't refer to it at all. I don't believe the LDS Church is a cult and I think there's (rightly so) a lot of negative associations with the term cult. That being said, if there are parallels between Steven Hassan's work and LDS rhetoric or beliefs, we should examine those beliefs carefully to understand where we're exhibiting undue influence or authoritarian control.
I think Steven Hassan's BITE model is a great starting point for examining our relationships with individuals and organizations - https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-c....
keep-in-mind
September 19, 2012Added 9/19/12.
I first heard about this book on VPR radio. It's a book on the subject of "cults".
VPR radio's program pointed out that people are deceived, manipulated, indoctrinated, and brainwashed by destructive cults.
Cults differ from other religions in the fact that once you're in the cult, they make it very difficult to leave. They use fear and humiliation as weapons.
Wiki says that author Hassan, using the acronym "BITE", "describes the 'four components of mind control'" as:
Behavior control
Information control
Thought control
Emotional control
See:
http://www.freedomofmind.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_H...
I first heard about this book on VPR radio. It's a book on the subject of "cults".
VPR radio's program pointed out that people are deceived, manipulated, indoctrinated, and brainwashed by destructive cults.
Cults differ from other religions in the fact that once you're in the cult, they make it very difficult to leave. They use fear and humiliation as weapons.
Wiki says that author Hassan, using the acronym "BITE", "describes the 'four components of mind control'" as:
Behavior control
Information control
Thought control
Emotional control
See:
http://www.freedomofmind.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_H...
December 15, 2018
Eye opening to the tactics cults use to control people. These tactics aren't very far from tactics in everyday interactions use to influence one another. The difference is once its weaponized it becomes destructive.
My favorite quote in the book that gives me hope.
"authentic unconditional love will always beat the conditional false love peddled by cults"
My favorite quote in the book that gives me hope.
"authentic unconditional love will always beat the conditional false love peddled by cults"
September 9, 2016
This is essentially a guide to deprogramming--very thorough, (seemingly) research-driven, motivated by Hassan's experience as an Ex-Moonie. I think this would be a very helpful and encouraging book for the intended audience.
March 9, 2025
I’ve been a long time fan of Steven Hassan and was glad to finally read one of his books! I found this insightful, although it is geared more toward family trying to help loved ones leave a cult as opposed to learning more about cults in general (as the title implies).
June 14, 2021
fantastic, must read! much of what we know and experience are various groups and people using inappropriate, disrespectful avd coercive control methods for their own power and enrichment and to our detriment. Read this, understand tge BITE method for analysis of inappropriate control and start extracting yourself from unhealthy relationships, ideologies, and businesses. Dont be afraid to establish strong boundaries based on this. As a followup i would suggest reading the mocking words written on the walls and gates of the Nazi work and extermination camps and compare many works based cults of collective salvation (religious, domestic, business, gang, and other) to the biblical theology of free individual salvation by faith. Compare the former cults and the exhaustion they cause as they vampire-like suck victims dry to The Shalom and Shabbos of the biblical god who provides peace, healing, protection, rest, refreshment and strength. Compare the Nazi/Communist past to current Globalist/Progressive tactics and goals and examine vs Hassan's BITE analysis and then watch "dinner for schmucks" and ask if these cults are all working towards inviting as many "guests of honor" as they can to a dinner for schmucks in hell to be held opposite the wedding feast held in heaven for Messiah
July 10, 2024
I've always been fascinated and disturbed by cults. Steven Hassan is America's top expert on cults. He was in one called the Moonies.
July 26, 2014
I found this a simply written and well structured book which I am sure will help people who are looking for the most effective ways to assist someone realise they are in a cult, face the truth, and find their way out. It is a concise yet very detailed ‘manual’ which will guide concerned family and loved ones through the maze of complexities surrounding the problem. It also contains a wide ranging set of ideas for future consideration by individuals, organisations and groups that may assist in this often devastating area. If this is an area of concern for you – this is ‘the’ book to get.
December 19, 2020
Hassan provides an inside look at the hooks that pervade and capture unsuspecting, needy people who are primed to join cults. The provisions for extracting loved ones are laid out with the precision and looseness required to confront the entanglement of the controls that constrict people who enter hopefully and remain blindly.
There is no judgement and this really helps. For visual access, Hassan appears toward the end of the
Netflix series "Leah Remini, The Scientology Aftermath," to confirm the heartbreak of losing a loved one to a cult.
There is no judgement and this really helps. For visual access, Hassan appears toward the end of the
Netflix series "Leah Remini, The Scientology Aftermath," to confirm the heartbreak of losing a loved one to a cult.
October 25, 2017
Not just a book to protect you from bullies. It also helps you build healthy, sustainable relationships with good people.
September 6, 2025
Hassan provides great information about cults and ways they entrap members, as well as practical ways to prepare to help a family member or friend leave a cult.
The book focuses primarily on people who join cults, rather than helping those who have been born into the cult and want to leave. I was disappointed by the monopic focus here.
Most of the book feels like a really long and thorough marketing pitch for working with him and his co-helpers to help decouple loved ones from cults. With this, there seems to be a pay wall to help loved ones leave cults at the tune of a year of a college tuition, per the book.
I think many of the tips he provides are practice and great for leveraging your relationship with the cult member to pivot away from the cult. I also wonder about the reception level of loved ones in cults--are they generally receptive? Are there stages of reception that loved ones could know about as they begin this journey? Are loved ones in cults generally open to intervention from family members or friends? More statistics would have been helpful to demonstrate the different trajectories. I imagine many cult members may be less than receptive, particularly if family members or others start reaching out (i.e., suspecting a hidden agenda, sudden focus on the relationship, outreach efforts), even skeptical and cautious. For instance, consider the Branch Davidians from Waco, Texas. From my reading of the book, the status of the cult member readiness for intervention seemed to be underfocused and understated.
I also think more information about an afterplan for the member leaving the cult could have been elaborated on more, beyond "support from family and friends" and "considering initiating therapy." These two recommendations seemed to be very broad and non-descriptive statement on such a crucial part of the departure process.
The book focuses primarily on people who join cults, rather than helping those who have been born into the cult and want to leave. I was disappointed by the monopic focus here.
Most of the book feels like a really long and thorough marketing pitch for working with him and his co-helpers to help decouple loved ones from cults. With this, there seems to be a pay wall to help loved ones leave cults at the tune of a year of a college tuition, per the book.
I think many of the tips he provides are practice and great for leveraging your relationship with the cult member to pivot away from the cult. I also wonder about the reception level of loved ones in cults--are they generally receptive? Are there stages of reception that loved ones could know about as they begin this journey? Are loved ones in cults generally open to intervention from family members or friends? More statistics would have been helpful to demonstrate the different trajectories. I imagine many cult members may be less than receptive, particularly if family members or others start reaching out (i.e., suspecting a hidden agenda, sudden focus on the relationship, outreach efforts), even skeptical and cautious. For instance, consider the Branch Davidians from Waco, Texas. From my reading of the book, the status of the cult member readiness for intervention seemed to be underfocused and understated.
I also think more information about an afterplan for the member leaving the cult could have been elaborated on more, beyond "support from family and friends" and "considering initiating therapy." These two recommendations seemed to be very broad and non-descriptive statement on such a crucial part of the departure process.
March 30, 2025
READING ORDER—I recommend reading Dr. Hassan’s “Combatting Cult Mind Control” before this book, and then after, DEFINITELY this book!
This book felt like it built off the knowledge in “Combatting Cult Mind Control” and is focused on interacting with and engaging with loved ones who may be in a cult. This book does a beautiful job of highlighting what you should do vs. what you shouldn’t do—and that sometimes what we feel is best may actually push our loved ones further into the cult. This book educates you on how not to do that.
The text is straightforward and reads a bit like a textbook but the content is very interesting. I recommend this to anyone trying to figure out what they can do to help loved ones who are involved with questionable people. Additionally, this book can be helpful for anyone in navigating conversations/relationships with people who have intensely different views than us.
This book felt like it built off the knowledge in “Combatting Cult Mind Control” and is focused on interacting with and engaging with loved ones who may be in a cult. This book does a beautiful job of highlighting what you should do vs. what you shouldn’t do—and that sometimes what we feel is best may actually push our loved ones further into the cult. This book educates you on how not to do that.
The text is straightforward and reads a bit like a textbook but the content is very interesting. I recommend this to anyone trying to figure out what they can do to help loved ones who are involved with questionable people. Additionally, this book can be helpful for anyone in navigating conversations/relationships with people who have intensely different views than us.
March 17, 2025
Insightful, but repetitive. I would have hoped that the author, Steve Hassan, held all cults in equal disdain, but apparently he does not. He tends to cherry pick and denounce religious cults most fervently. Low hanging fruit, there. It’s certainly understandable and very PC, but he’s missing a much-needed opportunity. There are cults of negative influence gaining strength right now, growing in numbers, and destroying lives. Yet Steve Hassan and those he employs at his resource center ardently refuse to engage. Sad, dangerous, and very hypocritical.
October 4, 2025
It is exceptionally powerful that this is written by someone who has walked the walked in escaping mind control by a cult. Timely and pertinent in attempting to reflect on how we can educate ourselves and others while supporting those we perceive as being subjected to any cult like mentality or following. Healing is possible, and this book offers some key points for a road map out of control as well as how we can be combatting this collectively in policy advocation.
September 19, 2024
Recommended for those with a loved one in a classic cult
Acknowledges other types of cults (therapy cults, business cults, political cults...) but information is less relevant.
Tips: keep reaching out. Make sure they have positive associations with you. Remind them of their pre-cult selves. Ask hypotheticals. "What if your leader ___"
Acknowledges other types of cults (therapy cults, business cults, political cults...) but information is less relevant.
Tips: keep reaching out. Make sure they have positive associations with you. Remind them of their pre-cult selves. Ask hypotheticals. "What if your leader ___"
May 9, 2025
I believe most of this information is helpful, a lot of it was very good advice for interacting with someone you care about who is in a cult and who you don't want to lose contact with. It can take a long time to disengage someone from the trenches of a cult, and I wonder if the patience exists for some people. Cults isolate, so this book gives the guidance needed to avoid the isolation.
March 4, 2025
If I were ever to proselytize again, it would be the BITE model and the Influence Continuum.
Specific methods to recruit and maintain control over people: Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control
Specific methods to recruit and maintain control over people: Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control
July 16, 2025
Good pairing with Cultish by Amanda Montell.
July 18, 2024
I’m not claiming to know more than this doctor with 30+ years of experience, but I do believe that many of his recommendations were tactics I’ve used many times. It could be because of the people I was raised around or my educational background, but not much in this book was revolutionary to me personally. With that, there were many things I didn’t agree with, mainly the idea that in order to maintain relationships with people in “cults”, we need to communicate with them the way they want and need to be communicated with. He also suggested people on the outside of cults be apologetic and choose our words wisely when speaking to “cult member”. I don’t think it’s fair to the people who lose loved ones to “cults” to have to be the people to do everything they can to maintain the relationship the way the “cult member” sees fit. Every single person on this planet faces hardships, some more than others, some more “drastic” than others. These hardships do not give a single person the right to treat other people like garbage. In the moment, irrational reactions happen, but repetitive behavior is unacceptable (in my strongest opinion). It is no one’s responsibility to get someone out of a “cult” or change someone’s mindset but the person who is in said “cult”/mindset. Loving someone and wanting them in your life is one thing, but taking on the burden to bend over backwards to maintain that relationship will only lead to resentment, false expectations, and disappointment.
November 23, 2022
This is an interesting book for anyone who ever wonders why people around them seem to be, well, indoctrinated. If you aren't plugged into the standard media, you'll know what I mean.
This is by an expert in cults and starts with the key means that cults maintain social control that prevents people from exercising critical thinking skills:
(1) Control of communication
(2) Manipulation:Contrived engineering of experiences for the purpose of manipulation
(3) Purity: Impossible standards for performance, creating environment of guilt and shame
(4) Confession: Expectation that every thought or action that doesn't conform to the rules will be confessed, but not forgiven
(5) Sacred science: Belief that group's dogma is absolutely scientifically and morally true, with no room for alternative viewpoints
(6) Loaded language: Use of vocabulary to restrict member's thinking to absolute, thought-terminating cliches
(7) Group beliefs over individual experience and conscience
(8) Belief that dissidents do not have right to exist
If you think this sounds eerily like what we've been experiencing over the last several years (and Hassan does point out that an entire society can exhibit cult-like characteristics), then this book has some encouragement. People can shift from unthinking acceptance to critical reasoning. There are a lot of practical ideas here that center on engaging with humility and patience and stories, rather than factual debates that go nowhere and also addressing the issues that drew the person to the cultic thinking in the first place.
This is by an expert in cults and starts with the key means that cults maintain social control that prevents people from exercising critical thinking skills:
(1) Control of communication
(2) Manipulation:Contrived engineering of experiences for the purpose of manipulation
(3) Purity: Impossible standards for performance, creating environment of guilt and shame
(4) Confession: Expectation that every thought or action that doesn't conform to the rules will be confessed, but not forgiven
(5) Sacred science: Belief that group's dogma is absolutely scientifically and morally true, with no room for alternative viewpoints
(6) Loaded language: Use of vocabulary to restrict member's thinking to absolute, thought-terminating cliches
(7) Group beliefs over individual experience and conscience
(8) Belief that dissidents do not have right to exist
If you think this sounds eerily like what we've been experiencing over the last several years (and Hassan does point out that an entire society can exhibit cult-like characteristics), then this book has some encouragement. People can shift from unthinking acceptance to critical reasoning. There are a lot of practical ideas here that center on engaging with humility and patience and stories, rather than factual debates that go nowhere and also addressing the issues that drew the person to the cultic thinking in the first place.
April 18, 2022
This book is a must read for those who are in a system of control. That may be a romantic relationship, family dynamic, occupational or faith environment. For those dealing with individuals who have been indoctrinated and used as pawns or "flying monkeys" for a charismatic, NPD or Antisocial disordered individual.
The key takeaway for me was the transactional or conditional relationship dynamic that is experienced within these systems of control. If you wish to help someone deprogram and exit their problematic environment it will take time to establish a transformational relationship based on unconditional acceptance with the individual. It will take further commitment and patience to exhibit the behavior consistently, so the one that is the victim of extreme, destructive or undue influence can learn by your example of a healthy environment. This is much more successful and expeditious with those who one has a close connection with initially.
The key takeaway for me was the transactional or conditional relationship dynamic that is experienced within these systems of control. If you wish to help someone deprogram and exit their problematic environment it will take time to establish a transformational relationship based on unconditional acceptance with the individual. It will take further commitment and patience to exhibit the behavior consistently, so the one that is the victim of extreme, destructive or undue influence can learn by your example of a healthy environment. This is much more successful and expeditious with those who one has a close connection with initially.
September 7, 2023
I became interested in the psychology of cults after watching a news story showing how QAnon conspiracy theorists' reacted to the inauguration of President Biden, and this book will inevitably be recommended to anyone who explores that rabbit hole.
Dr. Hassan draws from his own experience as a member of the Moonies cult and his decades of research since then to explain how otherwise smart and healthy people can be conditioned to adopt strange beliefs. While this book is written primarily to empower the loved ones of those who are directly involved in such cults, the topics it covers are helpful generally for understanding how psychological manipulation works.
Especially powerful were his descriptions of the BITE model and how nearly all such organizations rely on the same conditioned phobias (e.g. your family will suffer, nonbelievers will deceive you, you'll get sick and die, your doubts are from Satan, etc.) to prevent their members from leaving.
Dr. Hassan draws from his own experience as a member of the Moonies cult and his decades of research since then to explain how otherwise smart and healthy people can be conditioned to adopt strange beliefs. While this book is written primarily to empower the loved ones of those who are directly involved in such cults, the topics it covers are helpful generally for understanding how psychological manipulation works.
Especially powerful were his descriptions of the BITE model and how nearly all such organizations rely on the same conditioned phobias (e.g. your family will suffer, nonbelievers will deceive you, you'll get sick and die, your doubts are from Satan, etc.) to prevent their members from leaving.
May 27, 2023
Most of the info is great. But as an Ex-Mormon I perhaps found it less helpful since the Strategic Interactive Approach isn’t as accessible to families indoctrinated-since-birth where most family members are also cult members.
And then unfortunately things really went sideways the minute I heard “Asperger’s”. This is an outdated and inaccurate term. Hans Asperger was a N@z! and there is absolutely no evidence that Autistic people are any more likely to join cults than allistic people. Everyone is susceptible to social influence unless inoculated against it and the overemphasis on Autism especially from a source that has done other good work and should be trustworthy reads as unfounded, harmful and patronizing to this Autistic person. It means I can’t recommend this book. Read Combatting Cult Mind Control instead.
And then unfortunately things really went sideways the minute I heard “Asperger’s”. This is an outdated and inaccurate term. Hans Asperger was a N@z! and there is absolutely no evidence that Autistic people are any more likely to join cults than allistic people. Everyone is susceptible to social influence unless inoculated against it and the overemphasis on Autism especially from a source that has done other good work and should be trustworthy reads as unfounded, harmful and patronizing to this Autistic person. It means I can’t recommend this book. Read Combatting Cult Mind Control instead.
December 13, 2023
Some of Hassan's helpful ideas:
"Undue influence" when a person or group tries to control Behaviour, Information, Thought and Emotions (BITE model)
Undue influence is on a continuum. Groups often have elements of unhealthy influence even if they are not obviously exploitative.
The authentic self will ultimately assert itself.
In the case of groups/families trying to help someone, start with maximizing the healthiness of the individuals and group involved.
Share your experience of making a life change in whatever way you have, regardless of whether you have been in a cult. (smoking, alcoholic, religious experience.)
Be curious. Do not confront. Provide information only if the person is open to it.
Keep communication open.
Content - 4 stars, Editing - 3 stars, Proof-reading 2 stars.
"Undue influence" when a person or group tries to control Behaviour, Information, Thought and Emotions (BITE model)
Undue influence is on a continuum. Groups often have elements of unhealthy influence even if they are not obviously exploitative.
The authentic self will ultimately assert itself.
In the case of groups/families trying to help someone, start with maximizing the healthiness of the individuals and group involved.
Share your experience of making a life change in whatever way you have, regardless of whether you have been in a cult. (smoking, alcoholic, religious experience.)
Be curious. Do not confront. Provide information only if the person is open to it.
Keep communication open.
Content - 4 stars, Editing - 3 stars, Proof-reading 2 stars.
June 1, 2022
I am fascinating by cults and religious extremist thinking. Why do people fall for such ridiculous schemes? This book offers some answers. Basically the best way to engage with cult members is by building rapport and sowing the seeds of cognitive dissonance. This is useful because I've dealt with bigoted religious fundamentalists and I think the same thing applies there. They are basically under toxic social influence (eg, anti gay, or beliving that the world is ending, or that everyone else not in the group is evil) that has given them a sense of identity, and to break with it would cause psychological pain, so it doesn't happen, and arguing does nothing. This book offers solutions, I believe, to dealing with those people, and cult members of course. Loved it!
August 20, 2023
I have always been FASCINATED by cults, especially when I realized my arch nemeses MLMs were employing cult tactics. After leaving a high demand religion, I am again seeking to understand how people and groups can fundamentally change and control you.
This one is written mostly for friends and family looking to understand undue influence (a more PC term for brainwashing) and how to help their loved ones identify the destructive influences in their lives. It’s very, VERY thorough. Probably my only criticism is that it’s so detailed and often reads like a handbook—although I think that’s part of why it’s so helpful for readers seeking help.
This is a great read for anyone who wants to know how cults get control over individuals. Scary and inspiring and functional.
This one is written mostly for friends and family looking to understand undue influence (a more PC term for brainwashing) and how to help their loved ones identify the destructive influences in their lives. It’s very, VERY thorough. Probably my only criticism is that it’s so detailed and often reads like a handbook—although I think that’s part of why it’s so helpful for readers seeking help.
This is a great read for anyone who wants to know how cults get control over individuals. Scary and inspiring and functional.
March 2, 2022
Hassan put together a great resource that provides insight into connecting with and deprogramming people that have been indoctrinated with beliefs that resist critical thought. Despite some woo-woo claims (e.g., little asides such as claiming that the body may break out in rashes or develop asthma as a symptom of the authentic self essentially rebelling against the person's cult identity), it's definitely worth a read.
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