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Weightless: Making Space for My Resilient Body and Soul – Poignant Essays on Fat, Black Women and Cultural Expectations
A poignant and ruthlessly honest journey through cultural expectations of size, race, and gender—and toward a brighter future—from National Book Award nominee Evette Dionne
My body has not betrayed me; it has continued rebounding against all odds. It is a body that others map their expectations on, but it has never let me down.
In this insightful, funny, and whip-smart book, acclaimed writer Evette Dionne explores the minefields fat Black women are forced to navigate in the course of everyday life. From her early experiences of harassment to adolescent self-discovery in internet chatrooms to a diagnosis of heart failure at age twenty-nine, Dionne tracks her relationships with friendship, sex, motherhood, agoraphobia, health, pop culture, and self-image.
Along the way, she lifts back the curtain to reveal the subtle, insidious forms of surveillance and control levied at fat At the doctor’s office, where any health ailment is treated with a directive to lose weight. On dating sites, where larger bodies are rejected or fetishized. On TV, where fat characters are asexual comedic relief. But Dionne’s unflinching account of our deeply held prejudices is matched by her fierce belief in the power of self-love.
An unmissable portrait of a woman on a journey toward understanding our society and herself, Weightless holds up a mirror to the world we live in and asks us to imagine the future we deserve.
My body has not betrayed me; it has continued rebounding against all odds. It is a body that others map their expectations on, but it has never let me down.
In this insightful, funny, and whip-smart book, acclaimed writer Evette Dionne explores the minefields fat Black women are forced to navigate in the course of everyday life. From her early experiences of harassment to adolescent self-discovery in internet chatrooms to a diagnosis of heart failure at age twenty-nine, Dionne tracks her relationships with friendship, sex, motherhood, agoraphobia, health, pop culture, and self-image.
Along the way, she lifts back the curtain to reveal the subtle, insidious forms of surveillance and control levied at fat At the doctor’s office, where any health ailment is treated with a directive to lose weight. On dating sites, where larger bodies are rejected or fetishized. On TV, where fat characters are asexual comedic relief. But Dionne’s unflinching account of our deeply held prejudices is matched by her fierce belief in the power of self-love.
An unmissable portrait of a woman on a journey toward understanding our society and herself, Weightless holds up a mirror to the world we live in and asks us to imagine the future we deserve.
266 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 6, 2022
59 people are currently reading
5640 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 168 reviews
October 13, 2022
Weightless has the potential to be my favorite book of 2022 and I've read 108 books so far this year so that's saying something. This book is so important and everyone should read it.
The Celebrities, Weight Loss, and Us chapter spoke to me so deeply. About 10 years ago I lost a noticeable amount of weight before due to illness from stress and earlier this year I watched the same thing happen to my mom. In both instances, I was overwhelmed by the amount of compliments that we received for losing weight. Little did these commenters know, it was due to sickness. From being unable to eat and being nauseous nonstop. It was sickening to me to see that we were being complimented on weight that we were losing due to bad situations. As someone who was incredibly skinny in elementary and middle school, I often had the inverse effect of adults commenting on my body about how I needed to get some meat on my bones. I've learned that there will always be comments, no matter your body type or situation.
A HUGE thank you to BiblioLifestyle and Ecco Books for the gifted copy of this book!
The Celebrities, Weight Loss, and Us chapter spoke to me so deeply. About 10 years ago I lost a noticeable amount of weight before due to illness from stress and earlier this year I watched the same thing happen to my mom. In both instances, I was overwhelmed by the amount of compliments that we received for losing weight. Little did these commenters know, it was due to sickness. From being unable to eat and being nauseous nonstop. It was sickening to me to see that we were being complimented on weight that we were losing due to bad situations. As someone who was incredibly skinny in elementary and middle school, I often had the inverse effect of adults commenting on my body about how I needed to get some meat on my bones. I've learned that there will always be comments, no matter your body type or situation.
A HUGE thank you to BiblioLifestyle and Ecco Books for the gifted copy of this book!
January 26, 2023
I'm an avid reader of fat activist literature so I went into this with high expectations. Certain arguments missed the mark for me.
While I think Dionne does recognize the difference between BoPo and fat liberation politics, there were times that she just didn't go far enough - where she spent more time quoting models and influencers than actual fat activists, where I was raising an eyebrow at some of the studies she cited and the intentions of the "obesity" researchers in mention, where she suggests that fat people benefited from vaccine prioritization during Covid19 enough that it outweighed other harms, where she purports Michelle Obama's child obesity campaign was well-intentioned in the spirit of supporting her daughters... to name a few examples.
I do think there is validity and nuance to these points she's making, but sometimes (for me) it felt like she was stretching too far across the aisle - to the point where this felt like this was a book for folks who are still learning or who are on the thinner side and need to be eased into this convo. I also recognize she's juggling multiple identities (race, size, and gender) so maybe she's giving grace based on her experience. For example, she's probably holding in one hand criticism of the Let's Move campaign with awareness for how the Obama family has been subject to abhorrently nasty and cruel racism. Dionne clearly adores her own mother and grandma, but that doesn't stop her from criticizing their use of backhanded compliments in the fourth quarter. Dionne is a writer and thinker capable of holding complex and even contradictory truths in coexistence, a skill a lot of folks don't have. So it's not my intention to dismiss that. I just can't deny there were times as a fat person reading where I felt dissatisfied with how she navigated some gray areas.
I always have a hard time rating memoirs because I think that's not something you should evaluate; people's stories and experiences are their own to share and inherently valid. And when Dionne was sharing personal stories, that's when I liked her writing best. Her examination of her own internalized fatphobia while dating, alongside the hurt she experienced while being fat herself, was particularly insightful. I 100% applaud her for that. Being vulnerable and honest with yourself about what you see in your mind's mirror is difficult and deserves respect. It also sets an example, leading the way for readers to have that kind of introspective conversation with themselves.
I would be remiss if I didn't say the frequent usage of the words obese and overweight was off putting to me; my understanding is most of the FA community has agreed these terms are slurs and to be used cautiously (i.e. when quoting someone else who is unfortunately using them). I listened to the audiobook version so I'm not sure if maybe she had a disclaimer at the beginning or those terms were in quotations when used - so I'll acknowledge I could be missing that context. It's just icky, especially when you know these terms are rooted in the racist history of the BMI. Although to her credit, Dionne describes herself as fat for the majority of the time so I have to believe she gets this, at least to some extent.
It's a heavy book that describes a lot of pain and struggle which unfortunately is inextricably tied with being fat in today's world, so it's not a light read. Overall I appreciated the work. I'm hopeful that it reaches more people in the mainstream and plants seeds for those still learning. I think Dionne's personal stories are important, relevant, and worth sharing. Her final thoughts, a vision for a world where fat children can grow in bodies with dignity and respect, where they are not scrutinized or picked apart, is one I whole heartedly support.
While I think Dionne does recognize the difference between BoPo and fat liberation politics, there were times that she just didn't go far enough - where she spent more time quoting models and influencers than actual fat activists, where I was raising an eyebrow at some of the studies she cited and the intentions of the "obesity" researchers in mention, where she suggests that fat people benefited from vaccine prioritization during Covid19 enough that it outweighed other harms, where she purports Michelle Obama's child obesity campaign was well-intentioned in the spirit of supporting her daughters... to name a few examples.
I do think there is validity and nuance to these points she's making, but sometimes (for me) it felt like she was stretching too far across the aisle - to the point where this felt like this was a book for folks who are still learning or who are on the thinner side and need to be eased into this convo. I also recognize she's juggling multiple identities (race, size, and gender) so maybe she's giving grace based on her experience. For example, she's probably holding in one hand criticism of the Let's Move campaign with awareness for how the Obama family has been subject to abhorrently nasty and cruel racism. Dionne clearly adores her own mother and grandma, but that doesn't stop her from criticizing their use of backhanded compliments in the fourth quarter. Dionne is a writer and thinker capable of holding complex and even contradictory truths in coexistence, a skill a lot of folks don't have. So it's not my intention to dismiss that. I just can't deny there were times as a fat person reading where I felt dissatisfied with how she navigated some gray areas.
I always have a hard time rating memoirs because I think that's not something you should evaluate; people's stories and experiences are their own to share and inherently valid. And when Dionne was sharing personal stories, that's when I liked her writing best. Her examination of her own internalized fatphobia while dating, alongside the hurt she experienced while being fat herself, was particularly insightful. I 100% applaud her for that. Being vulnerable and honest with yourself about what you see in your mind's mirror is difficult and deserves respect. It also sets an example, leading the way for readers to have that kind of introspective conversation with themselves.
I would be remiss if I didn't say the frequent usage of the words obese and overweight was off putting to me; my understanding is most of the FA community has agreed these terms are slurs and to be used cautiously (i.e. when quoting someone else who is unfortunately using them). I listened to the audiobook version so I'm not sure if maybe she had a disclaimer at the beginning or those terms were in quotations when used - so I'll acknowledge I could be missing that context. It's just icky, especially when you know these terms are rooted in the racist history of the BMI. Although to her credit, Dionne describes herself as fat for the majority of the time so I have to believe she gets this, at least to some extent.
It's a heavy book that describes a lot of pain and struggle which unfortunately is inextricably tied with being fat in today's world, so it's not a light read. Overall I appreciated the work. I'm hopeful that it reaches more people in the mainstream and plants seeds for those still learning. I think Dionne's personal stories are important, relevant, and worth sharing. Her final thoughts, a vision for a world where fat children can grow in bodies with dignity and respect, where they are not scrutinized or picked apart, is one I whole heartedly support.
December 30, 2022
This essay collection is real, eye-opening, vulnerable and honest. We have a lot of work to do on dismantling fatphobia and holding people accountable.
Read
May 22, 2023** I will not be rating Non Fiction books as it is based on real events and real experiences.**
"I have been fat nearly my entire life. I will be fat forever. That doesn't mean I - or any of us - have to live in a fatphobic world."
Content Warnings from Storygraph:
I am conflicted on how I feel about Weightless. I will never know what its like to be black and fat but I do have my own experiences of being a fat person. There were times I found myself relating very much to the feelings Dionne felt. I sensed myself nodding along agreeing with her statements.
The only section that made me feel irky is one where she admits to having internalized fatphobia and will not date a plus size man. I am not sure exactly why this upset me. Could it be because I am married to a plus size man? Perhaps. In most things in life, I try to see from the other person's perspective and if as a female you have these fears, what makes you think men won't have the same? It just made me sad. Also if my friends ever made comments about my partner’s size, I would need to reevaluate those that I surround myself with.
"Imagine a society full of free children who spend time exploring the magic of their existence rather than picking themselves apart."
I have been very fortunate to not have been teased as much as others that I know. I did go through my share of bullying but from middle school on I was very lucky. I was very shocked to see the section that talks about how a baby, mere months old was advised that they were already overweight?! It makes so so sad, angry and frustrated. Someone i know had told me about how their niece at the time was already not wanting to swim with friends and wear a bathing suit at 10 years old. Children should not have worry about that at that age (or any age). I know I definitely was aware of my size and the space I consumed. I wish I could remember more to know what I may have missed out on because of my size.
"I realized that many people believe that fat girls are undeserving of fairy tales, of respect, of the invisibility afforded to bodies that are deemed "normal"."
Dating was never something I even bothered trying in middle or high school. My crushes were simply crushes. I knew my size and however I looked just wasn't what the object of my affection wanted. Always admiring from the sideline and waiting my turn. I did have two relationships with males who did not go to my school and they were definitely a learning curve. My size was never an issue but I had been more in my head about it. But even as I got older and in my late teens into twenties, the attention of men was something I longed for. Even if they weren't matches for me, I craved that attention and I wanted that fairy tale.
I thought Dionne's writing shined when she spoke very candid and openly about her struggle with finding proper care. Once again this made me so angry to read knowing how many lives were lost due to missed diagnosis’s and symptoms being written off due to size. She had been constantly advocating for herself but no one would listen. I couldn't even imagine what that must be like for her and for millions of others.
"I have been fat nearly my entire life. I will be fat forever. That doesn't mean I - or any of us - have to live in a fatphobic world."
Content Warnings from Storygraph:
I am conflicted on how I feel about Weightless. I will never know what its like to be black and fat but I do have my own experiences of being a fat person. There were times I found myself relating very much to the feelings Dionne felt. I sensed myself nodding along agreeing with her statements.
The only section that made me feel irky is one where she admits to having internalized fatphobia and will not date a plus size man. I am not sure exactly why this upset me. Could it be because I am married to a plus size man? Perhaps. In most things in life, I try to see from the other person's perspective and if as a female you have these fears, what makes you think men won't have the same? It just made me sad. Also if my friends ever made comments about my partner’s size, I would need to reevaluate those that I surround myself with.
"Imagine a society full of free children who spend time exploring the magic of their existence rather than picking themselves apart."
I have been very fortunate to not have been teased as much as others that I know. I did go through my share of bullying but from middle school on I was very lucky. I was very shocked to see the section that talks about how a baby, mere months old was advised that they were already overweight?! It makes so so sad, angry and frustrated. Someone i know had told me about how their niece at the time was already not wanting to swim with friends and wear a bathing suit at 10 years old. Children should not have worry about that at that age (or any age). I know I definitely was aware of my size and the space I consumed. I wish I could remember more to know what I may have missed out on because of my size.
"I realized that many people believe that fat girls are undeserving of fairy tales, of respect, of the invisibility afforded to bodies that are deemed "normal"."
Dating was never something I even bothered trying in middle or high school. My crushes were simply crushes. I knew my size and however I looked just wasn't what the object of my affection wanted. Always admiring from the sideline and waiting my turn. I did have two relationships with males who did not go to my school and they were definitely a learning curve. My size was never an issue but I had been more in my head about it. But even as I got older and in my late teens into twenties, the attention of men was something I longed for. Even if they weren't matches for me, I craved that attention and I wanted that fairy tale.
I thought Dionne's writing shined when she spoke very candid and openly about her struggle with finding proper care. Once again this made me so angry to read knowing how many lives were lost due to missed diagnosis’s and symptoms being written off due to size. She had been constantly advocating for herself but no one would listen. I couldn't even imagine what that must be like for her and for millions of others.
November 30, 2022
*Thank you to HarperCollins publishers for this ARC!!*
Evette Dionne's Weightless is a collection of experiences she's had as a (self-described) "fat" Black woman with health issues. That might be the oversimplification of the century, but I'm trying to keep this concise!
The 3 stars: This story is raw, compelling, vulnerable, and illuminating. Her writing style is poetic but not flowery. People who identify with Dionne's story will find camaraderie, and those who do not will be educated. Dionne's experiences were painful to read, especially those from her childhood that left life-long scars. This was not a happy or hopeful read from the first sentence to the last. That being said, her remarks felt important. Her chapters on fat women/Black women/Black, fat women were heartbreaking, but in line with stories I've heard for years. The reality of our healthcare system is that most doctors are unapologetically fatphobic in the name of "health." Regardless of where you stand on the definition of a "healthy" body, symptoms must be taken seriously and viewed/treated independently from BMI.
I appreciated her honesty throughout her chapters on the television exploitation of fat people. "...In private, I am just as complicit in fatphobia as the very people and institutions I criticize. Unlearning is a difficult process. It first requires you to look in the mirror, admit that you've benefited from a system at the expense of other more marginalized groups, and then actively work to create new commitments and behaviors that dismantle that system." I consider myself a member of the unlearning community, and Dionne's life stories have been a resource in that journey.
The -2 Stars: This book felt longer than it needed to be; in other words, it became pretty repetitive. While there were some excellent references to reputable studies, this book made some rather grandiose claims with insufficient citations to defend them (IMO). I get that this is her personal story, which is valid in and of itself. However, sweeping claims need more evidence in my mind.
Overall impressions: I would recommend this book, and I'm looking forward to celebrating its publication day on December 6!!
Evette Dionne's Weightless is a collection of experiences she's had as a (self-described) "fat" Black woman with health issues. That might be the oversimplification of the century, but I'm trying to keep this concise!
The 3 stars: This story is raw, compelling, vulnerable, and illuminating. Her writing style is poetic but not flowery. People who identify with Dionne's story will find camaraderie, and those who do not will be educated. Dionne's experiences were painful to read, especially those from her childhood that left life-long scars. This was not a happy or hopeful read from the first sentence to the last. That being said, her remarks felt important. Her chapters on fat women/Black women/Black, fat women were heartbreaking, but in line with stories I've heard for years. The reality of our healthcare system is that most doctors are unapologetically fatphobic in the name of "health." Regardless of where you stand on the definition of a "healthy" body, symptoms must be taken seriously and viewed/treated independently from BMI.
I appreciated her honesty throughout her chapters on the television exploitation of fat people. "...In private, I am just as complicit in fatphobia as the very people and institutions I criticize. Unlearning is a difficult process. It first requires you to look in the mirror, admit that you've benefited from a system at the expense of other more marginalized groups, and then actively work to create new commitments and behaviors that dismantle that system." I consider myself a member of the unlearning community, and Dionne's life stories have been a resource in that journey.
The -2 Stars: This book felt longer than it needed to be; in other words, it became pretty repetitive. While there were some excellent references to reputable studies, this book made some rather grandiose claims with insufficient citations to defend them (IMO). I get that this is her personal story, which is valid in and of itself. However, sweeping claims need more evidence in my mind.
Overall impressions: I would recommend this book, and I'm looking forward to celebrating its publication day on December 6!!
February 20, 2023
This book was extremely validating to read. Highly recommend.
October 13, 2022
2.5
Este libro está compuesto de ensayos que tienen como tema central ser una persona gorda, la falta de representación y la gordofobia, todo esto desde la experiencia personal de la autora.
Se me hace muy difícil clasificar libros de no ficción porque son en base a experiencias personales y no todos percibimos las cosas de las mismas forma. Con este libro tengo conflictos, aunque tiene mucha razón en aspectos de representación e influencia, siento que en la parte médica no estamos de acuerdo y no se está transmitiendo un mensaje correcto.
Este libro está compuesto de ensayos que tienen como tema central ser una persona gorda, la falta de representación y la gordofobia, todo esto desde la experiencia personal de la autora.
Se me hace muy difícil clasificar libros de no ficción porque son en base a experiencias personales y no todos percibimos las cosas de las mismas forma. Con este libro tengo conflictos, aunque tiene mucha razón en aspectos de representación e influencia, siento que en la parte médica no estamos de acuerdo y no se está transmitiendo un mensaje correcto.
December 2, 2022
What a refreshing memoir! I don’t think that I’ve read anything like this in a while. The closest (and I don’t even think that it’s that close) would be Hunger by Roxane Gay. I think that Dionne dives so well into discussions of fatphobia and race, especially when she’s the one being fatphobic to her peers. That take is always extremely interesting to me. Some chapters didn’t hash out anything new to me, including viewpoint, and some I wish dove in deeper. However, would I recommend this book? Absolutely. It’s so damn great.
January 22, 2024
Another introspective read that I enjoyed that isn’t purely memoir but rather a collection of essays. Evette set out what she explicitly stated in her intro: “ an excavation of a culture that hates fat people and uses institutions including media, medicine, and marriage to reinforce that repulsion.” I deeply appreciate her sharing the messiness of unlearning anti-fat bias in a world that makes us believe thin bodies are ones that deserve better treatment since birth (that’s not an exaggeration and Evette shared an experience of how it impacts infants) via her own stories.
March 15, 2023
It was good!! Validating to the most vulnerable parts of myself that often make me feel like I’m the only person in the world experiencing these thoughts, feelings, and events/situations. Made me feel angry at our world and also empowered to take up more space.
December 22, 2022
“Weightless,” is a provocative work about the harsh realities of a fat-phobic world. It is an inside look about the mistreatment and judgements of those who aren’t thin. Many people can relate to the book, and I highly recommend it. My only critique is the book is repetitive during certain segments, but it isn’t a deal breaker because they were important points to be revisited. This book is one that deserves a read by anyone who has felt less than.
October 12, 2022
Emotional moving an intimate revealing look at life as an overweight person in today’s society .An important look at the world through the authors life through her health issues her emotions and mental issues.
June 9, 2023
Disclaimer, I received an uncorrected proof in a giveaway last year.
It's always hard to review a memoir, it doesn't really seem fair to weigh in on personal experiences.
But overall, I appreciated Evette Dionne's recounting of her experiences and the way they relate to societal experiences of fat people (particularly her experience as a fat Black woman).
Some sections felt a little repetitive, a little meandering, or too short (the celebrity chapter at the end felt a little underdeveloped).
The strongest chapters were when she spoke on her own health struggles and the anti fat bias in medicine, they felt the most focused and clear.
She was honest about her own internalized fatphobia and the way that anti-fat rhetoric shows up in her own thoughts and experiences (her treatment of a fat romantic partner was painful, and her fascination and reflection on shows like My 600 Pound Life made me uncomfortable and a little upset), and she made me reflect on my own biases and experiences.
[Meandering thoughts/personal experiences below]
I have not had nearly the same experiences as Dionne, but I still hear some of the echoes in my own life. How many times have I discounted myself before someone else could? I didn't see a doctor for my reoccurring back spasms for over 15 years; I assumed they would tell me I was too fat and lazy. In reality, slightly narrow discs cause me to spasm if I move or sit badly for too long (throw in a touch of scoliosis, too).
I still put off routine medical visits because I just don't want to hear, "I'd like for you to lose weight"...again. (it's funny how they don't help you figure that one out in the office without more expense and time on your part). I think about the constant comments on my body when I lost weight (what did they think about me when I was fatter?). I think about how my mother-in-law says, "You are NOT fat" when I say I am (matter of factly, not disparagingly), when she is so hard on herself in her sixties, having given birth to three children and looking perfectly fine and beautiful (especially "for her age," which is a very fraught statement altogether).
How many cat calls did I have to endure walking home that were, "Hey, my friend wants to talk to you" in an effort to embarrass the guy (because haha he's interested in you, fatty), and thus, me, because I knew I was the fat butt of the joke. How often have I tried not to cry in dressing rooms about bras that never fit right or pants that didn't cover or fit over my lower belly the way that I needed them to? I would be lying if I said that clothes shopping doesn't sometimes bring tears to my eyes on the wrong day.
I have been thinking about how a cousin was rewarded with an international trip from her parents when she lost weight, either in middle school or early high school, and how my own parents wondered if travel as a weight loss incentive would appeal to me. I can't have been older than 14 or 15 when this offer was made. I did not take them up on it. This was not the only time international travel could have been in my future, but the expense was usually the concern (they were willing to spend money once I was skinny, though?). I took my first international trip at 29, a few years after significant weight loss (and all on my own dime). I often wonder if I internalized how I needed to be skinnier to travel.
How much of my self-confidence issues are from society's implicit and explicit beliefs that being fat is bad?
I have many other thoughts, but that's all I'm willing to say here.
But Dionne invites us to imagine a world where we don't disparage the bodies of others, where fat adults and children can just be. I like to think we could get there.
It's always hard to review a memoir, it doesn't really seem fair to weigh in on personal experiences.
But overall, I appreciated Evette Dionne's recounting of her experiences and the way they relate to societal experiences of fat people (particularly her experience as a fat Black woman).
Some sections felt a little repetitive, a little meandering, or too short (the celebrity chapter at the end felt a little underdeveloped).
The strongest chapters were when she spoke on her own health struggles and the anti fat bias in medicine, they felt the most focused and clear.
She was honest about her own internalized fatphobia and the way that anti-fat rhetoric shows up in her own thoughts and experiences (her treatment of a fat romantic partner was painful, and her fascination and reflection on shows like My 600 Pound Life made me uncomfortable and a little upset), and she made me reflect on my own biases and experiences.
[Meandering thoughts/personal experiences below]
I have not had nearly the same experiences as Dionne, but I still hear some of the echoes in my own life. How many times have I discounted myself before someone else could? I didn't see a doctor for my reoccurring back spasms for over 15 years; I assumed they would tell me I was too fat and lazy. In reality, slightly narrow discs cause me to spasm if I move or sit badly for too long (throw in a touch of scoliosis, too).
I still put off routine medical visits because I just don't want to hear, "I'd like for you to lose weight"...again. (it's funny how they don't help you figure that one out in the office without more expense and time on your part). I think about the constant comments on my body when I lost weight (what did they think about me when I was fatter?). I think about how my mother-in-law says, "You are NOT fat" when I say I am (matter of factly, not disparagingly), when she is so hard on herself in her sixties, having given birth to three children and looking perfectly fine and beautiful (especially "for her age," which is a very fraught statement altogether).
How many cat calls did I have to endure walking home that were, "Hey, my friend wants to talk to you" in an effort to embarrass the guy (because haha he's interested in you, fatty), and thus, me, because I knew I was the fat butt of the joke. How often have I tried not to cry in dressing rooms about bras that never fit right or pants that didn't cover or fit over my lower belly the way that I needed them to? I would be lying if I said that clothes shopping doesn't sometimes bring tears to my eyes on the wrong day.
I have been thinking about how a cousin was rewarded with an international trip from her parents when she lost weight, either in middle school or early high school, and how my own parents wondered if travel as a weight loss incentive would appeal to me. I can't have been older than 14 or 15 when this offer was made. I did not take them up on it. This was not the only time international travel could have been in my future, but the expense was usually the concern (they were willing to spend money once I was skinny, though?). I took my first international trip at 29, a few years after significant weight loss (and all on my own dime). I often wonder if I internalized how I needed to be skinnier to travel.
How much of my self-confidence issues are from society's implicit and explicit beliefs that being fat is bad?
I have many other thoughts, but that's all I'm willing to say here.
But Dionne invites us to imagine a world where we don't disparage the bodies of others, where fat adults and children can just be. I like to think we could get there.
Read
November 9, 2025Existing in a fat body is inherently political - whether you're political or not. Many systematic barriers are firmly entrenched to make your living experience difficult & remind you to think lowly of yourself.
As a plus size woman, I'm very intentional about reading fat (activist) literature for various reasons: as a reminder that my experiences aren't unique, for wanting to have something to relate to & importantly, to remind myself that I'm worthy of taking up space.
Dionne is incredibly honest, vulnerable & real in this book. Something I know takes a lot. Despite Dionne being in the global North & me in the global South, I related to every single one of her experiences proving that fatphobia is universal in its nature. Her take on motherhood is incredibly precious, I do hope that she gets to have her babies, I know she'll be a great mom!
From the anxiety of flying, being scared to eat food in public (a very normal thing btw!!), the designated handbag holder when going out with friends and no matter what health issue you have the doctor choosing solely to focus on your weight...existing in a fat body is immensely difficult. However, Dionne reminds fat people especially Black women that they're worthy of existing, they have every right to take up space & are incredibly.
I especially liked the chapter where she envisions an ideal fat future - free of fatphobia, allowing fat children to exist without constant reminders of what their body looks like...this is a worthwhile future that we shouldn't not give up working towards.
My only con for this book was the slight lack of the contribution of her actions resulting in certain outcomes, in some of her childhood experiences. Some of it felt incredibly victimy, woe is me😭. This is compensated by her recognising her own negative biases towards fat people despite being fat herself - her disliking the fat guy who was romantically interested in her.
I don't like rating autobiographies because it's someone's life story you know, it feels a bit cringe but between us as friends, this is a solid 4/5.
Overall this is an amazing book highlighting the challenges that come with existing in a fat body. Despite this, fat people are worthy of existing, getting good healthcare & living a full life. You exist & and you are special!
As a plus size woman, I'm very intentional about reading fat (activist) literature for various reasons: as a reminder that my experiences aren't unique, for wanting to have something to relate to & importantly, to remind myself that I'm worthy of taking up space.
Dionne is incredibly honest, vulnerable & real in this book. Something I know takes a lot. Despite Dionne being in the global North & me in the global South, I related to every single one of her experiences proving that fatphobia is universal in its nature. Her take on motherhood is incredibly precious, I do hope that she gets to have her babies, I know she'll be a great mom!
From the anxiety of flying, being scared to eat food in public (a very normal thing btw!!), the designated handbag holder when going out with friends and no matter what health issue you have the doctor choosing solely to focus on your weight...existing in a fat body is immensely difficult. However, Dionne reminds fat people especially Black women that they're worthy of existing, they have every right to take up space & are incredibly.
I especially liked the chapter where she envisions an ideal fat future - free of fatphobia, allowing fat children to exist without constant reminders of what their body looks like...this is a worthwhile future that we shouldn't not give up working towards.
My only con for this book was the slight lack of the contribution of her actions resulting in certain outcomes, in some of her childhood experiences. Some of it felt incredibly victimy, woe is me😭. This is compensated by her recognising her own negative biases towards fat people despite being fat herself - her disliking the fat guy who was romantically interested in her.
I don't like rating autobiographies because it's someone's life story you know, it feels a bit cringe but between us as friends, this is a solid 4/5.
Overall this is an amazing book highlighting the challenges that come with existing in a fat body. Despite this, fat people are worthy of existing, getting good healthcare & living a full life. You exist & and you are special!
March 5, 2023
While casually browsing the new nonfiction section at Barnes & Noble, I noticed Weightless—and I’m glad I did.
Dionne uses a combination of personal anecdote and cultural analysis to share her experiences navigating the world as a fat Black woman. She isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, particularly in “Doctors, Get Your Shit Together,” as she discusses the medical prejudice that she has personally endured, and “The Skinny Boyfriend Trope” and “Our 600 lb. Obsession” where she unpacks her own fatphobia towards fat men and fat participants on the popular TLC show. In another chapter, she explores the politics of focusing on obesity rates in children—rather than focusing on its underlying causes, such as the lack of access to fresh fruits and vegetables at affordable costs—and how that impacts fat children (side note: I wasn’t surprised to see that Reagan played a role, because he always does, doesn’t he?). She also discusses the representation of fat Black women—or the lack thereof—in television and music, the celebration of unhealthy weight loss that is so normalized in our culture, the sexual harassment and fetishization that fat women are seemingly supposed to not only accept, but appreciate, and so much more.
This review only touches the surface of what’s explored in this collection of essays. For those interested in a well-researched and vulnerable analysis of the experiences of many fat women, and particularly fat Black women, I would recommend this book. Hell, I’d recommend it either way because there’s a lot that everybody can learn and take away from it.
Dionne uses a combination of personal anecdote and cultural analysis to share her experiences navigating the world as a fat Black woman. She isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, particularly in “Doctors, Get Your Shit Together,” as she discusses the medical prejudice that she has personally endured, and “The Skinny Boyfriend Trope” and “Our 600 lb. Obsession” where she unpacks her own fatphobia towards fat men and fat participants on the popular TLC show. In another chapter, she explores the politics of focusing on obesity rates in children—rather than focusing on its underlying causes, such as the lack of access to fresh fruits and vegetables at affordable costs—and how that impacts fat children (side note: I wasn’t surprised to see that Reagan played a role, because he always does, doesn’t he?). She also discusses the representation of fat Black women—or the lack thereof—in television and music, the celebration of unhealthy weight loss that is so normalized in our culture, the sexual harassment and fetishization that fat women are seemingly supposed to not only accept, but appreciate, and so much more.
This review only touches the surface of what’s explored in this collection of essays. For those interested in a well-researched and vulnerable analysis of the experiences of many fat women, and particularly fat Black women, I would recommend this book. Hell, I’d recommend it either way because there’s a lot that everybody can learn and take away from it.
November 12, 2022
Thank you to Harper Audio for my complimentary audiobook. I enjoyed pairing the audio with the physical book. Thank you to Ecco for my physical arc
Very interesting memoir showcasing the subtle but very real practice of fat shaming. I applauded Evette for allowing us these glimpses into her life and allow us to be a part of her journey.
Very interesting memoir showcasing the subtle but very real practice of fat shaming. I applauded Evette for allowing us these glimpses into her life and allow us to be a part of her journey.
January 3, 2023
Weightless was a really eye opening experience. I enjoyed the storytelling of the authors personal experience and intertwining current events and pop culture into the story. I learned a lot. The audiobook is narrated by the author and she did a great job.
February 6, 2023
4.5 stars.
February 14, 2023
This book highlights the consequences of fatphobia in our society and the medical field in particular. I love memoirs so much and this one is no different. Thankful for the vulnerability and openness of the author.
April 7, 2023
I really enjoyed this collection of essays. This book is a mix of Evette’s personal experiences as a Black plus size woman as well as a social commentary on the fatphobia that we have in the United States. This book covers everything from what we are taught in schools, what we watch on TV, how we interact with each other in the dating scene, even transportation. It really opens your eyes to how fat people are treated systematically lower than everyone else.
Although I have enjoyed the education and reading Evette’s experiences, I went into this book, thinking that it would be about how fat women, such as myself, can gain confidence and peace with our bodies. The latter was not really discussed too much. If anything, it really teaches you what to look out for in order to better prepare, or equip yourself with standing up to these issues. Overall, I did learn a lot, and will take many elements of this book with me forward in life. I’m excited to read more of Evette’s work.
Although I have enjoyed the education and reading Evette’s experiences, I went into this book, thinking that it would be about how fat women, such as myself, can gain confidence and peace with our bodies. The latter was not really discussed too much. If anything, it really teaches you what to look out for in order to better prepare, or equip yourself with standing up to these issues. Overall, I did learn a lot, and will take many elements of this book with me forward in life. I’m excited to read more of Evette’s work.
April 9, 2023
Although I can agree with the author that weight biases are present in our health care system, in different cultures, families and communities. I can’t agree with her blaming everything on everyone else. The book also has a lot of misinformation.
January 7, 2024
In mid-December, I learned that my local county library has entered the digital age and they now have an app and one can borrow ebooks and audiobooks directly from the app. It's a miracle! I mean, the app is rudimentary, and doesn't communicate well with my car, so it's not going to be replacing Libby for me any time soon (which the other two libraries I use... use), but my library has already had books available to borrow that either weren't available at my other, larger, libraries, or didn't have wait times for them.
This was one of those books. Neither of the other libraries have this book available digitally in ebook or audiobook form, so of course I snagged it from my local, as an audiobook. I hadn't even heard of this book before seeing it while browsing the new-to-me offerings, and it was right up my alley.
Admittedly, when I started this, I assumed it was going to be about navigating weight culture, and of course it is, but not in the ways that I expected. These essays all deal with bodies, but these essays were more about the surveillance, attitudes, and social aspects of having larger bodies than the health impacts or aspects, DESPITE the very first words of the book being about her diagnosis of being in heart failure. (She goes into how her body and size affected that later on in the book, and it's not what you - or I, to be fair - would have assumed.)
So many of these essays were about how fat people are SEEN, or not seen, and I identified HARD with so many of the experiences and assumptions and biases she describes. I applaud her particularly for her honesty and vulnerability in the essay about Elijah, and how she treated him, her unfairness towards him, based on her own internalized fatphobia and fat shaming regarding his size, despite really liking him otherwise.
On the whole, I loved this collection of essays, and really appreciated Evette's voice and perspective. Highly recommended.
This was one of those books. Neither of the other libraries have this book available digitally in ebook or audiobook form, so of course I snagged it from my local, as an audiobook. I hadn't even heard of this book before seeing it while browsing the new-to-me offerings, and it was right up my alley.
Admittedly, when I started this, I assumed it was going to be about navigating weight culture, and of course it is, but not in the ways that I expected. These essays all deal with bodies, but these essays were more about the surveillance, attitudes, and social aspects of having larger bodies than the health impacts or aspects, DESPITE the very first words of the book being about her diagnosis of being in heart failure. (She goes into how her body and size affected that later on in the book, and it's not what you - or I, to be fair - would have assumed.)
So many of these essays were about how fat people are SEEN, or not seen, and I identified HARD with so many of the experiences and assumptions and biases she describes. I applaud her particularly for her honesty and vulnerability in the essay about Elijah, and how she treated him, her unfairness towards him, based on her own internalized fatphobia and fat shaming regarding his size, despite really liking him otherwise.
On the whole, I loved this collection of essays, and really appreciated Evette's voice and perspective. Highly recommended.
September 4, 2023
Evette Dionne writes about our society's widespread fat-phobia with honesty and vulnerability. She addresses feminism, prejudice, racism, and all the other slings and arrows that make being a fat black woman a lot harder than it should ever be. She makes some good points: Too many doctors prescribe weight loss diets for everything from a sore throat to a broken ankle and many don't even bother to find out what is really wrong. Well-meaning adults keep larger kids under surveillance and continue to make comments about their bodies and about everything they put in their mouths. P.E. teachers "give" the fat kids the opportunity to run an extra lap for their own good and turn their heads when bullying occurs in the locker room. Larger characters on TV and in movies provide "comic" relief or are sad and lonely people, desperate for a different life. All this while holding up severely underweight and undernourished models as the ideal standard of beauty and while making highly processed and unhealthful foods cheaper and more accessible than those that provide superior nutrition. I thought sometimes she went a little off the deep end in trying to correct society's ills, but all in all, I could relate to what she said. Thought-provoking, for sure.
December 1, 2022
Thank you Ecco Books for the advanced copy I won here through a giveaway on goodreads.
As a woman who has been labeled obese by healthcare providers my whole life, so much of this resonated for me. There was also so much to be learned in the gaps I have in that my experience is as a cis/white woman. If you want to learn about many of the pervasive angles in which fatphobia exists in our world through the lens of a Black woman, this is a great read. All that to say: I have more to unpack. I am also a healthcare provider myself and much of my career has been in fitness and sport so there were a number of things in this book that gave me pause.
Some themes felt a bit repetitive, but I don’t think it was overwhelming. A good read, especially if you are willing to be a bit uncomfortable with the topics and intersectionality of racism, sexism, ableism, and fat phobia.
As a woman who has been labeled obese by healthcare providers my whole life, so much of this resonated for me. There was also so much to be learned in the gaps I have in that my experience is as a cis/white woman. If you want to learn about many of the pervasive angles in which fatphobia exists in our world through the lens of a Black woman, this is a great read. All that to say: I have more to unpack. I am also a healthcare provider myself and much of my career has been in fitness and sport so there were a number of things in this book that gave me pause.
Some themes felt a bit repetitive, but I don’t think it was overwhelming. A good read, especially if you are willing to be a bit uncomfortable with the topics and intersectionality of racism, sexism, ableism, and fat phobia.
February 25, 2023
Weightless is a collection of essays by Evette Dionne. As the title implies, many of the essays deal with weight and cultural perceptions of weight, especially fatphobia. She also touches on how women move through a world that doesn’t see our bodies as our own.
I could relate to much of Dionne’s story even though I am a white woman a decade older than she is. I appreciated her honesty and vulnerability on sensitive topics like sex, dating and her own internalized judgment of fat people on tv shows. I’ve often wondered how I can treat others with compassion if I don’t treat myself that way. Dionne’s book prompted me to consider that again and again.
Following close on the heels of Big Girl, this was not easy content to read. Yet it challenged me in good ways. I hope I’ll be a better person for having read it.
I could relate to much of Dionne’s story even though I am a white woman a decade older than she is. I appreciated her honesty and vulnerability on sensitive topics like sex, dating and her own internalized judgment of fat people on tv shows. I’ve often wondered how I can treat others with compassion if I don’t treat myself that way. Dionne’s book prompted me to consider that again and again.
Following close on the heels of Big Girl, this was not easy content to read. Yet it challenged me in good ways. I hope I’ll be a better person for having read it.
February 24, 2025
“I think: My body has betrayed me. But it’s not a sentiment I actually believe. It’s born from frustration, not a baked-in belief. My body has not betrayed me. It has continued rebounding against all odds. It’s a body that others have mapped their expectations on, but it has never let me down, and for this I am grateful.”
There were so many moments in this book where I wanted to applaud Evette Dionne for her words. Like the world, I have a long way to go in dismantling internalized fatphobia, but this work was well stated and refreshing. I especially appreciated her commentary on intersectional issues like misogynoir.
There were so many moments in this book where I wanted to applaud Evette Dionne for her words. Like the world, I have a long way to go in dismantling internalized fatphobia, but this work was well stated and refreshing. I especially appreciated her commentary on intersectional issues like misogynoir.
January 6, 2023
As a large girl, I resonated with a lot of the points mentioned in this book. I especially felt called out when she discussed the internalized fatphobia that some fat people have, especially when watching reality TV such as My 600-lb Life.
When she touched on her personal life, it was always done honestly and emotionally. However, when I wanted her to spend more time on the studies and connecting them to how they played out in pop culture, I didn't get that as much.
Despite that, I enjoyed this read.
When she touched on her personal life, it was always done honestly and emotionally. However, when I wanted her to spend more time on the studies and connecting them to how they played out in pop culture, I didn't get that as much.
Despite that, I enjoyed this read.
February 20, 2023
It’s hard navigating a world where you feel like you don’t belong. You yearn to make yourself smaller to fit society’s standard of what you are supposed to look like. This woman’s courage is astonishing. Her words were so very relatable and heartbreaking. It took me right back to childhood and lifelong trauma. She leaves the book on the note of inclusion being part of the answer to all these problems. I very confidently believe she is a pioneer for a more inclusive future. But a saddened heart because why in 2023 are we still in this place.
March 27, 2024
Amazing collection of essays in which Dionne is unflinchingly honest. She shares the myriad ways her identity as a fat Black woman has impacted her life, both positively and negatively, and how she continues to grapple with internalized fatphobia (courtesy of society). Even as Dionne actively works to unlearn the prejudiced systems ingrained in our societal structures, she still finds herself falling into problematic behaviors and patterns of thought.
I greatly appreciated how raw this essay collection was, and how rooted it was in Dionne’s passion for changing the world and our perceptions of what fat bodies are deserving of.
I greatly appreciated how raw this essay collection was, and how rooted it was in Dionne’s passion for changing the world and our perceptions of what fat bodies are deserving of.
August 8, 2022
WEIGHTLESS by @freeblackgirl is a memoir of Blackness, fatness, and womanhood. the intersectionality is the point. she explores childhood, chronic illness, dating, and society, among other topics. author bolsters her points with research, yet her personal stories and telling of them are what make the book great. engaging and insightful, WEIGHTLESS is the kind of memoir that feels educational.
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