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Neposlušné deti neexistujú
Prelomový sprievodca pre rodičov detí do 5 rokov. V knihe Neposlušné deti neexistujú sa mama dvoch malých detí, novinárka a obhajkyňa duševného zdravia dieťaťa Kate Silvertonová podelila o svoj prelomový prístup k rodičovstvu detí mladších ako 5 rokov. Jej metóda pomáha zjednodušiť rodinný život a určite ho robí oveľa zábavnejším. Jedinečná stratégia a jednoduché techniky vám umožnia ľahko zvládnuť zložité každodenné výzvy a pomôžu vám užiť si to najsilnejšie puto s dieťaťom teraz aj v nasledujúcich rokoch.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published April 20, 2022
302 people are currently reading
906 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
December 26, 2023
Although there’s some good advice, it all relies on identifying the real reason behind each meltdown, which is great to strive for but most of the time isn’t possible. It’s very idealistic and there’s no plan B. All of Kate’s own examples with her kids work out perfectly every time and are not realistic for normal parents with limited time and resources. My personal favourite - tantrums on the school run making you late? Leave earlier!
That being said, it has improved my understanding of “bad” behaviour allowing me to be more patient and sympathetic, which does improve outcomes.
That being said, it has improved my understanding of “bad” behaviour allowing me to be more patient and sympathetic, which does improve outcomes.
April 2, 2023
I'd actually rate this with 4.5 stars due to the book being a bit too repetitive at times and also due to oversimplifying some scientific moments. I understand that this book is meant for parents with no scientific background though, so maybe if I didn't study psychology, it would be perfect for me too. Anyway, the book is pretty good and provides a lot of scientifically based parenting advice explaining it all in simple words. It was also nice that K. Silverton shared her own experience with the reader too.
May 14, 2021
Even though the book is aimed at parents, I still found it very interesting and enlightening. Kate expresses the ideas in a way that is simple to understand and fun to use. Her use of examples throughout and input from other parents helps to put what she preaches into a situation and makes it easier to grasp. She also debunks the myths of old-school parenting very well.
February 7, 2025
Some good points / tips but overall as others have said, as with a lot of these types of books, so idealistic. No plan B.
Again a lot of these books give tips for how to handle meltdowns and the age of 0+ but honestly most of the tips require the toddler to have a good grasp of language and be able to communicate clearly. Just gets a bit tiresome after a while reading all these books from privileged women explaining oh you just do this with no plan B : examples of how it doesn’t work / giving realistic situations.
The best I’ve read for this and would recommend any day over the dozens of other books I’ve read (this will be my last) is How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen
by Joanna Faber and Julie King. Even though this was aimed at 2-5 I read this when my son was 1 year and some of the techniques i already found helpful and have prepared me as he’s grown. Also it’s the best for giving REALISTIC situations.
And lastly this is the another book in a long line of books I’ve read that seem to say - be with your child until 3 or you’re a terrible mother - which is kind of just shit and has so many issues to it. Maybe that’s the ideal scenario but it’s not that simple and shouldn’t be held up to such a high standard. Not in the least because this is not an option for so many families but I also feel from a kind of feminist point of view…no. What’s right for some isn’t right for others and so many women are better mothers for not being a stay at home mum for 3 years. Women give up so much being mothers, more than they can know until they become one. So however women find balance should be supported and not made to feel ashamed.
Again a lot of these books give tips for how to handle meltdowns and the age of 0+ but honestly most of the tips require the toddler to have a good grasp of language and be able to communicate clearly. Just gets a bit tiresome after a while reading all these books from privileged women explaining oh you just do this with no plan B : examples of how it doesn’t work / giving realistic situations.
The best I’ve read for this and would recommend any day over the dozens of other books I’ve read (this will be my last) is How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen
by Joanna Faber and Julie King. Even though this was aimed at 2-5 I read this when my son was 1 year and some of the techniques i already found helpful and have prepared me as he’s grown. Also it’s the best for giving REALISTIC situations.
And lastly this is the another book in a long line of books I’ve read that seem to say - be with your child until 3 or you’re a terrible mother - which is kind of just shit and has so many issues to it. Maybe that’s the ideal scenario but it’s not that simple and shouldn’t be held up to such a high standard. Not in the least because this is not an option for so many families but I also feel from a kind of feminist point of view…no. What’s right for some isn’t right for others and so many women are better mothers for not being a stay at home mum for 3 years. Women give up so much being mothers, more than they can know until they become one. So however women find balance should be supported and not made to feel ashamed.
August 11, 2024
I'm being harsher than others
It's not applicable to children who can't have a dialogue so 0-5 is a ridiculous claim
It offers no plan B or practical solutions to any scenario that goes offscript. For example it talks about what if a child refuses to get in their pram because they want to walk. Well firstly if there's no danger/absolute rush then let them walk. If there is danger then calmly explain that and offer an alternative or bargain and... that's it. No what if the child refuses the alternative or bargain and just wants to walk NOW
With her parenting principles and apparently scientific backing I'd be really interested to know the best method when something has to be done and done now for the child's safety but plan A hasn't worked. I don't think it's particularly revolutionary advice that we'd just like our kids to do what we ask when we explain why. A "least worse" alternative would be so useful in these situations.
The writing style is awful. It really reminds me of the whole "the poison for kuzco, kuzcos poison". Kate makes the same point about 3 times, then there is a snippet from a scientist and/or a parent and/or her husband saying the same thing - nothing is expanded or delved deeper or nuanced at all - just repeated.
The acronyms are silly. The lizard/baboon/owl metaphor is cute but honestly just as complicated to explain as using the actual names of the brain parts given she does that anyway, and get a little lost since the lizard and baboon seem poorly defined in a lot of her examples.
There's also a huge amount of privilege at play here. She talks about nursery and school settings basically allowing her to do what she wants for her kids, and seems to imply everyone could have that if they just found the right setting. I can't think of a state school anywhere near me that would allow a completely different set of standards for each family.
There's lip service to the modern world making things hard, or different family circumstances limiting things, but again no factoring that into the advice. "Yup you might be a single parent working full time with no family support, anyway here's how you do this but it requires being in a couple with loads of free time to hang out at your kids nursery"
Honestly a 10 minute search on gentle or authoritative parenting on tiktok will get you all the info in this book which is a bit embarrassing.
It's not applicable to children who can't have a dialogue so 0-5 is a ridiculous claim
It offers no plan B or practical solutions to any scenario that goes offscript. For example it talks about what if a child refuses to get in their pram because they want to walk. Well firstly if there's no danger/absolute rush then let them walk. If there is danger then calmly explain that and offer an alternative or bargain and... that's it. No what if the child refuses the alternative or bargain and just wants to walk NOW
With her parenting principles and apparently scientific backing I'd be really interested to know the best method when something has to be done and done now for the child's safety but plan A hasn't worked. I don't think it's particularly revolutionary advice that we'd just like our kids to do what we ask when we explain why. A "least worse" alternative would be so useful in these situations.
The writing style is awful. It really reminds me of the whole "the poison for kuzco, kuzcos poison". Kate makes the same point about 3 times, then there is a snippet from a scientist and/or a parent and/or her husband saying the same thing - nothing is expanded or delved deeper or nuanced at all - just repeated.
The acronyms are silly. The lizard/baboon/owl metaphor is cute but honestly just as complicated to explain as using the actual names of the brain parts given she does that anyway, and get a little lost since the lizard and baboon seem poorly defined in a lot of her examples.
There's also a huge amount of privilege at play here. She talks about nursery and school settings basically allowing her to do what she wants for her kids, and seems to imply everyone could have that if they just found the right setting. I can't think of a state school anywhere near me that would allow a completely different set of standards for each family.
There's lip service to the modern world making things hard, or different family circumstances limiting things, but again no factoring that into the advice. "Yup you might be a single parent working full time with no family support, anyway here's how you do this but it requires being in a couple with loads of free time to hang out at your kids nursery"
Honestly a 10 minute search on gentle or authoritative parenting on tiktok will get you all the info in this book which is a bit embarrassing.
May 16, 2024
I almost rated this 3 stars for a few reasons. Firstly many of the topics and evidence I’m familiar with already so there was lots that didn’t feel new. Secondly, the writer’s privilege is unavoidable and I was seeing some of her advice as unrealistic. Thirdly, and this is the big one, the huge sense of shame I felt thinking about all the difficulty I’ve put my daughter through already made me resent the book.
Ultimately this is a 5-star book. I have a huge notes file in my phone now full of tips to try as my daughter gets older. I have asked my husband to read it. I would buy this book for pregnant friends or struggling parents. I will also almost certainly re-read this probably multiple times.
I wonder whether I’d have gone back to work at all if I had read this when I was pregnant. A whole chapter about childcare talks about how ‘it’s well known that children are ready for this at age 3’ …and I chucked my baby in for 3 LONG days a week at 10 months old. Generally my parenting style seems to align with most of what’s in here but it broke my heart to read this and reflect on what hurt our decisions may have caused.
Having said that, my daughter at 17 months old loves nursery. When I picked her up one day this week she wanted to go back through the gates to play some more instead of get in the car. She has a community of friends and adults that she (and I) trust intensely there. She spends all day outside and has access to a range of activities and fun that just wouldn’t be possible at home. She doesn’t have a lot of separation anxiety. She still shares big feelings with me. But I will never know how much happier and more content she would have been if we had waited, and that’s a very hard lesson to learn.
Ultimately this is a 5-star book. I have a huge notes file in my phone now full of tips to try as my daughter gets older. I have asked my husband to read it. I would buy this book for pregnant friends or struggling parents. I will also almost certainly re-read this probably multiple times.
I wonder whether I’d have gone back to work at all if I had read this when I was pregnant. A whole chapter about childcare talks about how ‘it’s well known that children are ready for this at age 3’ …and I chucked my baby in for 3 LONG days a week at 10 months old. Generally my parenting style seems to align with most of what’s in here but it broke my heart to read this and reflect on what hurt our decisions may have caused.
Having said that, my daughter at 17 months old loves nursery. When I picked her up one day this week she wanted to go back through the gates to play some more instead of get in the car. She has a community of friends and adults that she (and I) trust intensely there. She spends all day outside and has access to a range of activities and fun that just wouldn’t be possible at home. She doesn’t have a lot of separation anxiety. She still shares big feelings with me. But I will never know how much happier and more content she would have been if we had waited, and that’s a very hard lesson to learn.
August 24, 2025
If you can get over the pretentious undertone and can decipher when the author is being a helicopter parent putting pressure on other parents by their superiority lens then there are a few helpful tips. I wouldn’t recommend the audio book. Unless you like someone talking to you in a baby voice.
September 18, 2021
4.5 stars
"We might be living in the modern world, but our children have ancient survival mechanisms."
About: A guide for all parents seeking to unravel the mystery that is a child's brain. Why won't your child get out of the bath? How to stop public tantrums and what to do when you're just about ready to explode...
The Good
This is super easy to read; paragraphs are short, the science is simplified and there's an ease and humour throughout that makes every chapter enjoyable. It's full of very relatable and heartfelt moments that showcase exactly what she means by 'there's no such thing as naughty'. I really loved the imagery created, especially of how the brain works, and felt like I came away with knowledge that was easy to repeat back to my husband and put into practice. Also some of the quotes are absolute gems. I can't stress how useful the guide is at putting you in the perspective of your child and reminded you of just why you wanted to be a parent in the first place.
The Bad
Yes, the science did need to be simplified and easy to read, but I don't think the text itself needed words to be capitalised, bolded, underlined (you name it) quite as often as was done in this guide. Simple is good, but sentences REALLY simplified to the point of patronizing was not needed. I did also appreciate that there were cute illustrations to go along with her reimagining of a child's brain, but there was something about the way they were implemented that felt amateurish and didn't fit in with what I was reading. At times it felt like a children's textbook rather than the thoughtful and well-researched guide that this book is.
The Somewhat Iffy
I was very interested in the section on screen time, and left disappointed. Of course, it's fairly obvious that the advice would be that screen time - in general - is not good for a developing brain. Also obvious was that the advice would be cushioned with the usual, but you do you. What I had been expecting though (as was the case with all the other sections) that there would be some talk of studies and more emphasis on why its bad rather than the generic - 'more studies need to be done and we don't chose to let our kids indulge in screen time but appreciate parents may need to resort to it'. There just wasn't anywhere near the detail on this section that was there for sibling rivalry, sleep training, tantrums etc.
Overall
This feels like a very necessary book for all parents to read. Parenting can be hard, but this highlights the joy and how to ensure you're not only doing the best for your child, but making sure it's fun for you as well.
"We might be living in the modern world, but our children have ancient survival mechanisms."
About: A guide for all parents seeking to unravel the mystery that is a child's brain. Why won't your child get out of the bath? How to stop public tantrums and what to do when you're just about ready to explode...
The Good
This is super easy to read; paragraphs are short, the science is simplified and there's an ease and humour throughout that makes every chapter enjoyable. It's full of very relatable and heartfelt moments that showcase exactly what she means by 'there's no such thing as naughty'. I really loved the imagery created, especially of how the brain works, and felt like I came away with knowledge that was easy to repeat back to my husband and put into practice. Also some of the quotes are absolute gems. I can't stress how useful the guide is at putting you in the perspective of your child and reminded you of just why you wanted to be a parent in the first place.
The Bad
Yes, the science did need to be simplified and easy to read, but I don't think the text itself needed words to be capitalised, bolded, underlined (you name it) quite as often as was done in this guide. Simple is good, but sentences REALLY simplified to the point of patronizing was not needed. I did also appreciate that there were cute illustrations to go along with her reimagining of a child's brain, but there was something about the way they were implemented that felt amateurish and didn't fit in with what I was reading. At times it felt like a children's textbook rather than the thoughtful and well-researched guide that this book is.
The Somewhat Iffy
I was very interested in the section on screen time, and left disappointed. Of course, it's fairly obvious that the advice would be that screen time - in general - is not good for a developing brain. Also obvious was that the advice would be cushioned with the usual, but you do you. What I had been expecting though (as was the case with all the other sections) that there would be some talk of studies and more emphasis on why its bad rather than the generic - 'more studies need to be done and we don't chose to let our kids indulge in screen time but appreciate parents may need to resort to it'. There just wasn't anywhere near the detail on this section that was there for sibling rivalry, sleep training, tantrums etc.
Overall
This feels like a very necessary book for all parents to read. Parenting can be hard, but this highlights the joy and how to ensure you're not only doing the best for your child, but making sure it's fun for you as well.
November 7, 2024
Undecided with my rating possibly a 3.5
I am not a parent so I feel I did not enjoy this book as thoroughly as some parents may have.
This was an amazing book with some amazing advice and I really would recommend to any new parent!!! It was really simple to understand, I found it quite repetitive but i guess it works to really ingrain her points and theories.
I think a big downfall is in some examples it really can seem unrealistic. The overall goal of treating all children with respect, kindness and compassion is totally amazing and I loved it, however some of her specific advice I don’t think is applicable to most 0-5 year olds, specifically children that are non-verbal.
I however love this approach and found it really interesting to read, even though by the end of the book the writing style wasn’t totally for me.
I am not a parent so I feel I did not enjoy this book as thoroughly as some parents may have.
This was an amazing book with some amazing advice and I really would recommend to any new parent!!! It was really simple to understand, I found it quite repetitive but i guess it works to really ingrain her points and theories.
I think a big downfall is in some examples it really can seem unrealistic. The overall goal of treating all children with respect, kindness and compassion is totally amazing and I loved it, however some of her specific advice I don’t think is applicable to most 0-5 year olds, specifically children that are non-verbal.
I however love this approach and found it really interesting to read, even though by the end of the book the writing style wasn’t totally for me.
July 18, 2022
I was sold on this by the title, and piece on the radio with the author.
It is decent, but nothing new and a fairly annoying writing style. Early on especially it is sickeningly twee.
The whole "Lizard, baboon, owl" thing kind of makes sense (ego, super-ego and id essentially), but the for whole book lizard and baboon are basically the same thing.
It also has some really forced acronym e.g "STOP S'nOT" which is a fairly gross image every time you read it (a lot) and contains "S'not about you" as one of the components. How desperate was Silverton to include the word snot in there? And why?
Ultimately it boils down to "be nice to your children", backed up by a little bit of science. Which I'm in support of, but didn't really help me.
It is decent, but nothing new and a fairly annoying writing style. Early on especially it is sickeningly twee.
The whole "Lizard, baboon, owl" thing kind of makes sense (ego, super-ego and id essentially), but the for whole book lizard and baboon are basically the same thing.
It also has some really forced acronym e.g "STOP S'nOT" which is a fairly gross image every time you read it (a lot) and contains "S'not about you" as one of the components. How desperate was Silverton to include the word snot in there? And why?
Ultimately it boils down to "be nice to your children", backed up by a little bit of science. Which I'm in support of, but didn't really help me.
February 19, 2023
Inaccessible to lone parents, struggling parents, tired and emotionally drained parents. Idealistic scenarios that I would have love to have actually witness all seems too perfect to have truly happened. I’ve never been so frustrated reading something in my entire life. Patronising and belittling.
Perfect if you in-disposable help and a living partner to share these beautifully bonding moments of emotional problem solving. Where are the relatable situations of where children are too upset to even take notice of what you’re saving.
Awful!
Perfect if you in-disposable help and a living partner to share these beautifully bonding moments of emotional problem solving. Where are the relatable situations of where children are too upset to even take notice of what you’re saving.
Awful!
October 9, 2021
I'm really pleased I read this, it was full of practical and helpful advice that I'm already implementing with my kids. Pretty much after every chapter, I excitedly recounted what I read to my husband, we discussed how it related to our home and family, and then I would say "you really should read this book". I can easily see myself returning to this book in the future as my kids get a bit older, especially the sibling rivalry chapter! Thoroughly recommended for anyone with young children.
March 24, 2022
Wersja recenzji dla zabieganych rodziców: warto poświęcić czas tej książce!
Ale tych którzy mają troszkę więcej czasu, zapraszam na dłuższą wersję:
Na początku nie byłam zbyt przekonana do tego, jak trzy zwierzęta, nie mające za sobą nic wspólnego, mają wytłumaczyć Czytelnikowi, dlaczego niegrzeczne dzieci nie istnieją. Jednak sprawa wyjaśnia się już po przeczytaniu opisu lub wstępu - zwierzęta te, umieszczone w odpowiednich miejscach baobabu niezwykle trafnie pokazują jak działa ludzki mózg! Szczególnie w formie graficznej.
Ze względu na świetną symbolikę i używanie akronimów czy metafor, książka będzie idealna dla osób, które uważają, że poradnik o działaniu mózgu, emocjach czy budowaniu więzi jest naszpikowany trudnymi pojęciami, a oni nie mają chwilowo czasu na studiowanie każdej z tych dziedzin, bo starają się utrzymać swoje dzieci przy życiu. Autorka stworzyła swoisty narzędziownik z instrukcją obsługi przejrzystą jak w jednym ze szwedzkich sklepów, po który należy sięgnąć, kiedy wydaje się nam, że rodzic albo dziecko jest "zepsute". A oczywiście, że najlepiej byłoby przeczytać ją przed potrzebą jej zastosowania, ale wiem jak jest :D
Zaskoczyło mnie, że choć sama nie mam na co dzień kontaktu z dziećmi i zapoznałam się z niejedną pozycją dotyczącą mózgu, podczas lektury nadal odkrywałam nowe rzeczy lub nagle zobaczyłam je z innej perspektywy. Z pewnością to zasługa tłumaczenia skomplikowanych pojęć w sposób możliwie obrazowy i uproszczony lecz nie tracący istotności wiedzy, którą próbują przekazać nam badacze ludzkich umysłów. Miłym zaskoczeniem było uzupełnianie słów autorki wstawkami ze słowami jej męża czy bliskich znajomych. Pokazują, że naprawdę, aby wychować jedno dziecko potrzeba całej wioski. Ogromnym plusem są również ramki podsumowujące poruszane zagadnienia, pozwalające jednym rzutem oka odświeżyć potrzebne informacje.
Jedyne do czego mogę mieć zarzuty, to kilka stron traktujących jedynie o tym, jaka to będzie super książka i jak wiele dzięki niej się nauczymy. Zbyt przypominały mi wykładowców, którzy 10 min każdego wykładu poświęcali na to, żeby przypomnieć studentom, jak to mamy mała czasu a dużo materiału.
Mam po tej książce bardzo miłe odczucia. Jak bym porozmawiała z kimś, kto wie jak wiele trudności czyha na człowieka, gdy próbuje pokazać świat małemu człowiekowi i zamiast krytykować, delikatnie wyciąga rękę ze wsparciem. Myślę, że takiego poczucia potrzebuje każdy, szczególnie w naszej kulturze, która niestety mocno stawia na indywidualizm i perfekcjonizm. Oby to się zmieniło :)
Ale tych którzy mają troszkę więcej czasu, zapraszam na dłuższą wersję:
Na początku nie byłam zbyt przekonana do tego, jak trzy zwierzęta, nie mające za sobą nic wspólnego, mają wytłumaczyć Czytelnikowi, dlaczego niegrzeczne dzieci nie istnieją. Jednak sprawa wyjaśnia się już po przeczytaniu opisu lub wstępu - zwierzęta te, umieszczone w odpowiednich miejscach baobabu niezwykle trafnie pokazują jak działa ludzki mózg! Szczególnie w formie graficznej.
Ze względu na świetną symbolikę i używanie akronimów czy metafor, książka będzie idealna dla osób, które uważają, że poradnik o działaniu mózgu, emocjach czy budowaniu więzi jest naszpikowany trudnymi pojęciami, a oni nie mają chwilowo czasu na studiowanie każdej z tych dziedzin, bo starają się utrzymać swoje dzieci przy życiu. Autorka stworzyła swoisty narzędziownik z instrukcją obsługi przejrzystą jak w jednym ze szwedzkich sklepów, po który należy sięgnąć, kiedy wydaje się nam, że rodzic albo dziecko jest "zepsute". A oczywiście, że najlepiej byłoby przeczytać ją przed potrzebą jej zastosowania, ale wiem jak jest :D
Zaskoczyło mnie, że choć sama nie mam na co dzień kontaktu z dziećmi i zapoznałam się z niejedną pozycją dotyczącą mózgu, podczas lektury nadal odkrywałam nowe rzeczy lub nagle zobaczyłam je z innej perspektywy. Z pewnością to zasługa tłumaczenia skomplikowanych pojęć w sposób możliwie obrazowy i uproszczony lecz nie tracący istotności wiedzy, którą próbują przekazać nam badacze ludzkich umysłów. Miłym zaskoczeniem było uzupełnianie słów autorki wstawkami ze słowami jej męża czy bliskich znajomych. Pokazują, że naprawdę, aby wychować jedno dziecko potrzeba całej wioski. Ogromnym plusem są również ramki podsumowujące poruszane zagadnienia, pozwalające jednym rzutem oka odświeżyć potrzebne informacje.
Jedyne do czego mogę mieć zarzuty, to kilka stron traktujących jedynie o tym, jaka to będzie super książka i jak wiele dzięki niej się nauczymy. Zbyt przypominały mi wykładowców, którzy 10 min każdego wykładu poświęcali na to, żeby przypomnieć studentom, jak to mamy mała czasu a dużo materiału.
Mam po tej książce bardzo miłe odczucia. Jak bym porozmawiała z kimś, kto wie jak wiele trudności czyha na człowieka, gdy próbuje pokazać świat małemu człowiekowi i zamiast krytykować, delikatnie wyciąga rękę ze wsparciem. Myślę, że takiego poczucia potrzebuje każdy, szczególnie w naszej kulturze, która niestety mocno stawia na indywidualizm i perfekcjonizm. Oby to się zmieniło :)
April 5, 2022
Poradniki mają do siebie to, że są interesujące i można wiele z nich cennego wyciągnąć.
„Jaszczurka, pawian i mądra sowa. Dlaczego niegrzeczne dzieci nie istnieją” głównie jest kierowany do rodziców mających dzieci w wieku przedszkolnym, a nawet do tych jeszcze młodszych.
Kate Silverton pomaga nam zrozumieć mózg dziecka i cały jego mechanizm. Obrazuje nam to w bardzo ciekawej formie, mianowicie pod postacią drzewa - baobaba, jaszczurki, pawiana i mądrej sowy. Bardzo ciekawe zagranie jeśli chodzi o poradniki. Ale dlaczego zwierzęta?
Dlatego żeby lepiej móc zobrazować sobie mózg dziecka i tego co doświadcza.
W książce można również zobaczyć malutkie ilustracje dodające uroku i całej otoczki owego poradnika co jest według mnie na plus.
Kate Silverton opisuje wszystko ze staranną dokładnością. W końcu każdy z nas doświadcza emocji, nawet małe dzieci, które je pokazują na rożny dla nich sposób.
Według mnie jest to ciekawy sposób przedstawienia tego co małe dzieci doświadczają i jak to wyglada. Nie ma czegoś takiego, że dziecko robi to specjalnie by nas rozzłościć tylko na swój sposób pokazuje co przeżywa w danym momencie. Mogłam zrozumieć jak to wyglada u małego dziecka co jest pomocne bo naprawdę zrozumiałam niektóre rzeczy.
Uważam, że owy poradnik jest wart przeczytania. Może wiele dać do zrozumienia jak i pomoc to zrozumieć.
„Jaszczurka, pawian i mądra sowa. Dlaczego niegrzeczne dzieci nie istnieją” głównie jest kierowany do rodziców mających dzieci w wieku przedszkolnym, a nawet do tych jeszcze młodszych.
Kate Silverton pomaga nam zrozumieć mózg dziecka i cały jego mechanizm. Obrazuje nam to w bardzo ciekawej formie, mianowicie pod postacią drzewa - baobaba, jaszczurki, pawiana i mądrej sowy. Bardzo ciekawe zagranie jeśli chodzi o poradniki. Ale dlaczego zwierzęta?
Dlatego żeby lepiej móc zobrazować sobie mózg dziecka i tego co doświadcza.
W książce można również zobaczyć malutkie ilustracje dodające uroku i całej otoczki owego poradnika co jest według mnie na plus.
Kate Silverton opisuje wszystko ze staranną dokładnością. W końcu każdy z nas doświadcza emocji, nawet małe dzieci, które je pokazują na rożny dla nich sposób.
Według mnie jest to ciekawy sposób przedstawienia tego co małe dzieci doświadczają i jak to wyglada. Nie ma czegoś takiego, że dziecko robi to specjalnie by nas rozzłościć tylko na swój sposób pokazuje co przeżywa w danym momencie. Mogłam zrozumieć jak to wyglada u małego dziecka co jest pomocne bo naprawdę zrozumiałam niektóre rzeczy.
Uważam, że owy poradnik jest wart przeczytania. Może wiele dać do zrozumienia jak i pomoc to zrozumieć.
May 9, 2025
I enjoyed reading this book because Kate made the science easy to understand.
Having followed and read some gentle parenting books some of the advice & explanations were what I’d already read but this book gave clear examples of what to do in situations of big emotions. Getting to the bottom of what the real issue is which causes ‘naughty behaviour’.
The authors husband has a paragraph in each section which I think is helpful to read as he discusses examples of ways he’s tried to calm a situation from a non child phycologist’s perspective.
I would have rated 5 stars but my only grip is every example of a child having a tantrum/meltdown worked out beautifully first time - (maybe it did & she’s just a phenomenal mother) but… in my experience, this isn’t what happens and would have been more helpful to have a few more examples of what to do when the first few things you’ve tried don’t work but that’s probably just wishful parent thinking!!
Would recommend this book because it is informative & was easy to read.
Having followed and read some gentle parenting books some of the advice & explanations were what I’d already read but this book gave clear examples of what to do in situations of big emotions. Getting to the bottom of what the real issue is which causes ‘naughty behaviour’.
The authors husband has a paragraph in each section which I think is helpful to read as he discusses examples of ways he’s tried to calm a situation from a non child phycologist’s perspective.
I would have rated 5 stars but my only grip is every example of a child having a tantrum/meltdown worked out beautifully first time - (maybe it did & she’s just a phenomenal mother) but… in my experience, this isn’t what happens and would have been more helpful to have a few more examples of what to do when the first few things you’ve tried don’t work but that’s probably just wishful parent thinking!!
Would recommend this book because it is informative & was easy to read.
May 26, 2022
A good book but could have been a lot shorter, repeats far too much and almost every sentence is it’s own chapter. I like the premise and it has good ideas, and good sources to back it. However, the part about taking kids to school I completely disagreed with. I have worked in kindergartens/ pre school for over 10 years, and children who’s parents have a quick goodbye almost always adapt the fastest. The vast majority cry briefly and then carry on. If a parent does as Kate Silverton suggests, it can completely disrupt all other children, as it leaves them wondering constantly where their parents are. There are a few children who do really struggle to adapt, but far more who find a prolonged goodbye more distressing, and very few who simply run in playing and just pop out to check in.
Asides from that, some good advice that could have simply been boiled down to a shorter version.
Asides from that, some good advice that could have simply been boiled down to a shorter version.
August 5, 2021
I was recommended this book from a friend and as a teacher, I understood many concepts in this book. Mainly, knowing there is a why behind behaviour and not to just react to it. That was the theme throughout the book. I loved the chapters about crying and the last one about self care, where she quashed some of societies tradition of bringing up kids. On the other hand, I didn’t see where she developed a child’s resilience. The book is more for 2-5 year olds. I have 2 kids under 2 and there was nothing much for them, but at least it got me thinking about them in the future. The biggest takeaway was trying to understand the child’s perspective before doing anything.
September 28, 2022
Worth reading this book if anything, for the very sound and simplified explanation of inner workings of child's brain. However, I found the general tone of "I have figured out parenting" and "I judge you for making different choices that I BELIEVE to be wrong" (i.e. sleep training or enforcing discipline) super annoying. Possibly the most annoying part of this book is "the negative connotations saying 'no' has to children". Basically, the author suggest that if you say 'no' to your child, you are going to cause them severe emotional damage that may scar them for the future.
November 9, 2024
Great book, lots of respectful/gentle parenting basis with expert opinion from child psychologists and others. I didn't feel there was enough written about neurodivergence, or when children won't/can't listen. It felt like a lot of the time her kids could be easily tapped into with some choice phrases, but this isn't as helpful in an explosive child, or a child with trauma, or neurodivergence. But I still really liked the principles and the main takeaway about querying 'why' your child is doing something, rather than reacting about 'what' they have done.
August 17, 2025
Autorka veľmi jednoduchým spôsobom vysvetľuje ako funguje (alebo skôr "nefunguje"?) mozog detí do 5 rokov a ako tieto informácie využiť na pomoc vo výchove. Kníh s tematikou rešpektujúcej výchovy som prečítala viacero, a táto mi opäť doplnila skladačku tak, aby som našla podporu v tom, ako zmeniť zabehnuté vzorce správania, s ktorými som sa nikdy úplne nestotožnila. Je to náročné a nikdy by som nepovedala, že výchova je takáto obrovská téma, a že mi v nej ešte nejaká kniha dokáže povedať niečo nové.
January 11, 2022
Very interesting and enlightening.
"We might be living in the modern world, but our children have ancient survival mechanisms."
It's full of relatable and heartfelt moments that showcase exactly what she means by 'there's no such thing as naughty'.
This feels like a very necessary book for all parents to read.
I'm really pleased I read this, it was full of practical and helpful advice that I'm already implementing with my child.
"We might be living in the modern world, but our children have ancient survival mechanisms."
It's full of relatable and heartfelt moments that showcase exactly what she means by 'there's no such thing as naughty'.
This feels like a very necessary book for all parents to read.
I'm really pleased I read this, it was full of practical and helpful advice that I'm already implementing with my child.
November 24, 2022
Fascinating take on parenting. The book is full of insights, every theory came with a clear explanation and good practical examples.
The authors explains why kids are not naughty but rather react instinctively to the stimuli around them as they do not have the words to explain their emotions and understand the consequences for their feelings. Parents are the ones to equip kids to process emotions and select the appropriate response
The authors explains why kids are not naughty but rather react instinctively to the stimuli around them as they do not have the words to explain their emotions and understand the consequences for their feelings. Parents are the ones to equip kids to process emotions and select the appropriate response
January 16, 2024
I really liked the gentle parenting angle and the scientific research done behind the techniques suggested. However, I found it a bit repetitive. It also doesn’t always give helpful ideas for under-3s when communication is not always the easiest, especially situations when negotiations and collaboration is just not possible (ie due to safety, etc.). Glad I read it, but could be shorter and wish it was for a younger age bracket but is really for children who can easily communicate.
March 12, 2024
I'd say 4.5 would be more accurate. Kate's approach is full of compassion and empathy, both towards parents and children. In a very simple way, without overcomplicating it she explains how children's brains work. By raising awareness she helps us see life from a child's perspective. I'd recommend it to all parents and for all who are keen to learn more, there are many valuable references provided.
August 22, 2024
I really disliked the style of this book, but the underlying strategies being suggested were interesting. It has improved/ reminded me of some things I knew about child brain development that has slightly gone out of the window in times of stressful parenting. Some of the strategies I was already familiar with but there were some other ideas. I would say I struggled through it as I knew it would have some good nuggets in but the style did not suit me at all.
March 25, 2025
Good tips and really hammers in the importance of getting into a child's mindset and spending one on one time with your children (why you would bother having kids if you weren't prepared to do this is beyond me). However, there is a serious overtone of privilege in this book which comes off quite preachy, and no hint of discipline, so I'll definitely be using these techniques coupled with other ideas.
August 10, 2021
Excellent book for parents of toddlers. Kate explains toddler behavior thorough examples which makes it easy to understand a lot that goes on in their mind. She also gives a lot of ideas and tools which can be easily implemented. Would highly recommend this book to new parents, it can make life easy:)
March 7, 2022
Very useful summaries at end of chapters to remind you which bits you need to re-read. I think this will be a go-to in times of worry as we go through the next few years with 2 little ones. Great tips and exercises to practice and reminders that you are likely to find it hard, because you are human.
September 12, 2023
This book gave some useful insights and observations into approaching parenting in a different way but I found a lot of the advice was impractical for people with less flexibility in their lives. I also found the core analogy used to be useful at first but repeated throughout to the point of being patronizing. OK to read but would not overly recommend.
April 7, 2025
Nie je to zlé ale mám pocit že autorka sa často krát opakuje. Je to skôr pre rodičov tak 4 5 ročných detí ktoré už naozaj vedia povedať čo im je čo ich trápi čo sa im nepáči. Pretože aj keď moje 2 ročné dieťa vie dobre komunikovať s nami nevie mi povedať prečo plače, čo ho nahnevalo atď. takže príklady ako na záchvat hnevu mi zatiaľ nepomôžu. Ale celkový dojem mám z knihy dobrý.
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