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Unknown Binding
Published January 1, 2023
Love isn’t some tangible thing that has to look perfect in order to mean something. You just have to feel it.
”It’s not a stupid idea,” I tell her. “But when you were in high school, I was in my mid-twenties. We just have to find a different story.”
My heart thunders in my chest, the overwhelm of her esteem filling up a well I didn’t even realize had run dry. Bellamy Mitchell just knocked me on my ass, and she did it while building me up.
She seems like the kind of woman who, once you’re in with her, it’s a ride-or-die situation. That loyalty is hard to come by because it requires an element of self-sacrifice not everyone is willing to commit to.
It’s not that I (Rusty) consider my sister a burden in any way, but for the first time, I no longer feel the responsibility of being the only person she turns to for support.
…
My chest feels tight again as I lie in bed, thinking over all the things I want to do, all the ways I want to be different, all the love I want to give. It’s like taking this weight off my shoulders didn’t just make me feel lighter; it makes me feel like I can fly.
There’s an element of selflessness that goes into loving others and caring about them, and selflessness is something translates into very specific behaviors.
Listening when they have something to say.
Helping when things are hard.
Communicating even when it isn’t easy.
Learning how to be more intentional.
And most importantly, changing when you realize you can be better.
We might both need some time to cool down a bit and remind ourselves that this thing is supposed to be fake.
It’s fake for her, at least. For me, it’s been borderline real since the night she yanked me across the bar and planted a kiss on my lips.
I keep telling myself I need to work on keeping a boundary so nothing happens between us, but that ship has sailed. It has sailed and crashed into a rock and sunk to the bottom of the ocean.
I’m falling for Bellamy Mitchell, and I don’t know how to stop it.
And the truth is…I’m not sure I want to.
“This is real,” she whispers. “I know it is, and so do you.”
She kisses me, and I’m lost in her.
No – I’m found in her.
“It’s real for me … “It’s the most real thing I’ve ever known, loving you.”
“I can’t imagine living in a world where I had you and chose to let you go.”
