Geometry for Ocelots

by Exurb1a

It is the end of history and all is known, or will be soon. Humanity long ago transitioned to the era of holy technology. Now humans present as saintly animals, spending their days in meditation and drug-induced euphoria, far from the dark secrets their paradise is founded upon. But when an ancient prophet allegedly returns in the form of a troubled young girl, galactic peace can only last so long.

Geometry for Ocelots is the story of two monarch siblings gone to war at the end of time—a holy empress, and an alcoholic university dean. With galactic resources dwindling, both believe they hold the answer to the crisis; be it spiritual salvation or technological nirvana. Both will be gravely mistaken.

Genres: Science Fiction, Fiction, Fantasy, Philosophy, Dystopia, Novels, Contemporary

432 pages, Paperback

Published March 3, 2022

About the author

Exurb1a likes fiction with a metaphysical backbone. He enjoys trying to write that kind of stuff himself.

He also runs a subpar YouTube channel of the same name.

Reviews

[Christian G.T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there was one book I could force the world to read, it would be this. And I’ll be honest, the writing is so damn good it wouldn’t be too hard to force everyone to read it.

This book shines a light on topics that keep me up at night, and offered me a perspective I would never have been able to attain in my lifetime.

This book isn’t just about two siblings, the end of all worlds, it’s also about science and religion, compassion and love.

If you were debating whether or not to get this book, I would suggest that you take a good look at yourself now.

Because once you read this book, you will wonder how you ever could look at yourself the same way again.

[Daniel Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cried very hard

[Khalid Abdul-Mumin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very thoughtful, philosophical, wild and intriguing ride...RTC after a re-read.

Read 2022

[Teodora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I wish I could give this book not just five but ten, hundred, thousand stars.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
* Full review to follow once I have collected myself *

—-

“Urinating one morning he became transfixed with an intricate pattern on the plaster of the toilet and mangled the tip of his penis in his trouser zip.
Such is the path to enlightenment.”

Right. So. Where do I begin?

I got ‘Geometry for ocelots’ in a kindle sale because I liked the cover. I had no idea what it was about, and absolutely no expectations. It was what I saw in another review that sold me on reading it immediately, something along the lines of ‘You’ll love this book if you’re insane.’

And love it I do.

Reading ‘Geometry for ocelots’ is like drinking a weird mixture of champagne, rakia (a strong Bulgarian fruit-based spirit) sweetened with honey, herbs and spices, with a splash of tomato juice for good measure. Weird, right? I love weird.

There’s not a single mention of ‘rakia’ in the book but there are multiple other references to Bulgarian culture, history and traditions, which is wonderful to find in a sci-fi story. Many characters and places have either typical Bulgarian names or ones derived from Bulgarian words. A quick google search revealed the author is currently living in Bulgaria, and that explains what other reviewers have picked on: the excessive alcohol consumption throughout the book. Well, it’s clear to see where the inspiration came from: in Bulgaria drinking is a national sport (and please don’t read too much into this line - I am neither supporting this nor judging - just conveying the fact).

But - about the book. Sci-fi, fantasy, philosophy, theology, spirituality and darkness with lots and lots of delicious weirdness - it’s all that and more, a great analysis of the current state of the world and human nature in general that seems absolutely accurate to me. Reading it took me back at least twenty years ago when I was just getting into sci-fi/fantasy, when everything was new, interesting and exciting and I couldn’t wait to get home after school and immerse myself in a new book.

The story spans across several generations of characters. I loved the premise, the worlds, the visits to 4 and 5 dimensional realms beyond human comprehension but most of all, the meditative quality to the writing, the underlying existential anxiety.

“the undulating crowds of folk walking about beneath an unsacred sky, breathing, reproducing, expiring; and the shouting, and the never-verbalised shouting, Why me? or, Why not me? or, My God, there’s nothing but this.
Just left and right, and Saturday and Sunday, and eating and screwing, and foraging about on the beach of truth for decades, alone, unmoored, searching, the tide coming and going, apathetic to you, to everyone. Then all of it paying off—suddenly you glimpse a perfect promise of wisdom on that beach, something to give all the misery meaning: a message in a bottle; a message in a bottle just waiting there for you in the sand, just waiting there to explain everything, to reward you for all your misery and searching, the Truth Behind It All.
And you open that bottle with such glee, your fingers shaking so violently in anticipation you can hardly pull the paper from the bottle—knowing that the broken and lonely days are over, the promise that all this torment and wandering was but the prelude to real existence, to your real life of goodness and belonging and certainty in all things.
And your eyes race across the paper to find the paper is blank.
And the other side is blank.
And you put the paper back inside the bottle and reseal it with the cork.
And you throw the bottle back into the sea.
And you do not look for messages in bottles again.”

I want the whole world to read this book and draw their own conclusions.

“Is there a more opulent society imaginable than one that builds spaceships while its population starves?”

Even the afterword was a fantastic read, and I never read fore- or afterwords.

“Be kind, and when you can’t be kind, be fair. And when you can’t be fair, be clever. And when you can’t be clever, please be kind again.”

[Henry Clemens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was a spiritual experience in itself. I have never read something even remotely similar in concept, the only thing I could possibly compare the absurdity and setting to, is hitchhikers guide to the galaxy which shares its broad galactic setting and almost comically absurd story. However, this book has a certain level of depth to the story as well as deeper philosophical dilemmas and questions that other books struggle to compare to while simultaneously grasping and entertaining the reader at all times. I’ve seen reviews criticizing the pacing of the story saying that is is too fast with many time jumps, and that the story at times seems a bit rushed given the sheer scale of the story. I agree, however, the story would, I believe, have a very slow pacing if this were not the case, and I would much rather the book be paced as it is than long stretches out chapters of character development and world building which frankly i believe there is no lack of. I would recommend this to anyone who has a mind open to immersing themselves into a completely different universe, enjoys snappy humor and has a fair interest in philosophy.

[Yiannis Psaradakis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a 2.5 to be honest but no such rating exists. It's average in all aspects.

The book was a solid four until about the three quarters part. Then the plot somehow got derailed into a lecture about the evils of capitalism (all while the plot was still being explored and this thing got hammered in for no good reason(Yes a character did explain why and how this happened but it was still pretty bad)) and that was resolved within few pages too.

Edit: I forgot the blatant alcoholism as well as substance abuse that all the characters partake in. I believe this reflects the author's mental state (Searching for anything else other that his youtube channel exurb1a you will find something very odd is going on with this author (including the sexual assault case)).

By that point I would have rated it a 2 by being so freaking blatant. It's only saving grace was the last chapter that was really good and emotionally satisfying.

[Lukasz · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

I understand why so many readers love it, but I feel Geometry for Ocelots is rough around the edges. It’s definitely unique, though.

I enjoyed its Buddhist-inspired ideas and metaphysical musings, plus the main message. On the flip side, the writing isn’t that great and the non-linear story sometimes feels meandering. Despite mixed feelings, I’m glad I’ve read it. It’s definitely unlike most of the stories around.

[Brujaja · Rating 5 out of 5]

"To me, you shall be unique in all the world."

Even though I have read all of exurb1a's other books, this book was nothing like I expected. And it kept surprising me up to the last pages. There was more than enough wonderment and technology to satisfy my passion for good science fiction. There was absolutely nothing to warrant my apprehension, prior to reading the book, that it might pivot on aspects of conventional Buddhism which I personally find a little tiresome. It unequivocally did not. If anything -- and while they are far more a part of the lush background tapestry than anything like tenet-as-character -- the gentle portrayal of concepts such as Nirvana presents them in an utterly ravishing way that I find enormously compelling. (and may I just say here, well done exurb1a, I would have said that was impossible haha)

Reading this book, I am again stricken with a feeling that is already familiar to me; I recognize it from every other instance of contact with the author's media. Every time, I am awash in admiration and affection for the wonderful person that exurb1a is. Having been around the block many times, I am well aware of the perseverence and purity of heart (though not the body, thank goodness) that it takes, when one aspires to be both wise and kind.

This book is amazing, as usual once picked up it could not be put down until finished, and I wish all good things to exurb1a.

[Snapoutofreality · Rating 5 out of 5]

Space-Buddhism as an unchecked religion combined with science and a fight against the very essence of civilization. A Masterwork. A book in a universe so strange, but yet so recognizable. The human struggle on a galactical scale. It‘s strange how a single person can influence your life and ideals so much. If you‘re thinking about reading this book - read it. If you’re looking for something special - you‘ve found it.

In the Afterword Exurb1a has a sentence that captures my fascination with Sci-Fi:
„We don‘t seem to dream of a better world much anymore. We were burned so many times by utopian thinking last century that even Utopia is a dirty word now. But we must, must, must start dreaming again, dreaming wide and big of a society where no one is trodden on and everyone can eat. Our dignity relies on it. Our descendents will rely on it. Don‘t listen to these miserable, jaded fucks who insist that indignities and inequalities of the current world are just necessary evils. These same bastards would‘ve tried to keep feudalist around not a half-millenium ago.“

Thanks for the book Ex.

[Doug · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shortly after reading this book and writing this review, I discovered that Exurb1a is a rapist. Other reviews of this novel have the information, and I'll leave my original review below.
_

I'm not sure if this is the best book I've read all year, but it's pretty good. It's Iain M. Banks meets Terry Pratchett meets Frank Herbert. It's 'what if the navigators from Dune were fanatical Buddhists seeking nirvana?' It's a grim look into human nature, and how the kindness of the many is exploited by the tyrannical few. It's also a plea for the goodness of humanity.

I will say that the first 10% is not a good indicator of the quality of the rest. It starts off awkward and slow, but is well worth a read. Good science fiction should make you think, and Geometry for Ocelots certainly does.

[Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read if you enjoy existential pain

[Emily Morgan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh. I bought this book with money I could've spend on cat litter.
Love Exurb1a's YouTube channel, which is what inspired me to buy the book. he's a very knowledgeable philosopher and philosophy historian, if only those skills transfered over to writing science fiction (spoiler alert: they don't)
The story was too plot heavy. Barely any depth to any of the characters. I found the callback-obsessed naming conventions obnoxious and unnecessary. Saying nema at the end of prayer also pissed me off, spelling amen backwards was the best you could do? The philosophy of the book was shoved down your throat. WE GET IT. MODERATION. It felt like he had 0 faith in the audience to decipher morals from a story. There was nothing left to analyze, all the work was done for you! The writing was redundant and predictable. and the emotional scenes were corny. and I think if you're going to brave the world of science fiction, you at least need to know the rules before you can break them - because, for God's sake, that's not how time dilation works.

[Paaras · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay.

He takes a lot of inspiration from many well-known stories. It's decent writing but not too sure why all the characters are so into substance abuse.

It's a decent book, but definitely not what I'd recommend as the first Exurb1a book to read. It's not clear why many parts were kept in the book. Could've done with better editing.

[Lander Raey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Opnieuw een caleidoscopisch kunstwerk...

Schildpadman verrast ons opnieuw met een verhaal in zijn karakteristieke stijl vol (meta)fysica en flauwe humor. In 'Geometry for Ocelots' schetst Exurb1a een universum ergens op het kruispunt tussen boeddhisme, klimaatopwarming en shrooms, waarmee de karakters jou en henzelf (letterlijk) tot hogere dimensies zullen brengen.

Ik ben me ervan bewust hoe nodeloos complex en wijsneuzerig dit allemaal klinkt. Maar deze topauteur komt weer met een invalshoek waarvan zelfs de meest nuchtere heikneuter geprikkeld wordt tot dromen, en zoals altijd laat hij je dan zelf achter om de antwoorden op 's werelds grootste vragen te bedenken.

Heel fijn boekje. Het verhaal in deze is iets minder sterk dan 'Prince of Milk'. Hij springt wat op de hak en de tak en rekt andere delen dan weer uit als zo'n kauwgom op je schoenzool waar je niet goed van afgeraakt. Wel een heel mooi einde voor de doorzetters. Ik raad het aan.

[Sara Sandoval · Rating 2 out of 5]

The more unfamiliar you are with a reference the more it will feel like something new. I’m very ignorant on Buddhism and I have never thought that religious beliefs would mix well with science fiction. In this way, this book appears very original to me and objectively I think there’s an ingenuity to how it was constructed. It was unlike anything I have ever read before.
I’m surprised by how easy to read and understand this book was, considering it introduces many concepts from Buddhism that I knew nothing about previously.

The title and cover don’t present a clear idea of what the book it’s a about. Or at least it didn’t to me and I thought it was a self-help book or something esoteric at first glance. This created a mystery of the book even before opening the first page and it added to my enjoyment of it.

I enjoyed this book so much, but when I like something I put my critical thinking hat on, so I have many complaints. The many time skips, felt strongly like interruptions rather than fast forwards and thus they disrupt the suspended disbelief that you hold for the story. It’s hard to understand the decisions some characters take at moments because you don’t really understand what they are going through. As reader, you are in a constant position of “three pages ago they seemed fine and now you are telling me that was 20 years ago, now there’s a crisis” we don’t get to understand how the characters evolve due to the situation, we only see them take radical decisions that at times I think are out of character, but they are convenient to the events the author wants to push forward.
This is particularly glaring with some female characters. Ursula is established as a character who stays true to herself and what she thinks is right, as shown when she confronts the council about the bivnik effect despite being threatened not to. I don’t think she would have given up on life when she was uncertain about the lives of her children, but in the story we saw her commit suicide after being imprisoned. I don’t think we see a natural progression of the character to make that decision believable bc even in those last pages about her, she was resisting and rebelling. If we unfocus from the plot, our female protagonist dies to uplift a male character, that becomes the next protagonist. In moments it’s very clear that the author is a man and I mean that with disgust and full offense.

Hisarya is abused her whole life, then she is raped and a pregnancy is forced into her. What little we see of her perspective never mentions anger, sadness or rebellion to all the injustice done to her. She is never shown feeling conflicted about the pregnancy that she didn’t want and when her son is born, she is immediately maternal and loving. Furthermore, when she encounters a creature that for a moment we are led to believe that is a god or enlighten being, they blame her for the abuse she suffered. The being tell her that all the deaths caused by Mriga are her fault because when given a choice, she chooses power. I found this incredibly unfair and misogynistic because she was a girl being bullied for being different, the story revealed that the bullying was instigated by someone working with Mriga to push her to make the decision he wanted. When Mriga approaches her, offering to teach her deva magic to take revenge on those who bothered her, she accepted. Hisarya was a teenager at that point; Mriga was a 11,000 years old being that manipulated the situation to push her to that decision. It wasn’t her fault and I’m enraged that the text blames her.

I’m aware that many things I didn’t like were intentional choices from the author. The time skips, the changes in protagonists, the many POVs. I wish the story would have been written as a trilogy, with enough space to explore the characters and the plot or if the author really wanted to showcase the story in flashes, perhaps a nonlinear narrative would have worked better.

In any case, there is a clear disservice to the characters, especially female characters but male characters too lack substance. Johannes had no personality and the love story between him and Ursula was unsubstantiated and thus unbelievable. Lepus was interesting, but generally unexplored. Leo is the character we spend the most time with, he is one of the most solid characters but the decision to make him an alcoholic first and everything else second interferes with our understanding of him. Mriga is so interesting because he is our main villain, and we can see resemblance to figures in power of actuality. His motivations are not super clear and yet he is the most realistic character.

There are some inconsistencies near the end. We are told that trifurcation cannot be reversed but Anaximander does it while claiming he is just a man. We are told that Madeline the spyle was created by Ursula at the beginning and at the end we are told that they are a race that gave up their soul to keep knowledge but made a promise to not share technology with humans, and then the fourth dimensional travel boat problems Leo was having ends up being solved by the spyle. Those details bother me, but maybe it’s just me being picky.

The ending manages to conclude the story, but I don’t think it was satisfying or fitting. When the steam machine of the Victorians wasn’t sufficient, new technology was developed. There are estimations that petroleum will run out in the next 50 years, so new cars that only rely on electrical power are now on the market. If resources run out, we develop new technology that doesn’t rely on those resources. It is obviously not the best or even a permanent solution but that’s just the history of humanity. We see this in the story even, Bodhi is running out of moksha so Gearheart built fourth space technology. At the end when moksha finally runs out, the universe is at the point of extinction. This plot point is meant to reflect on our environmental crisis, I just don’t think it was satisfactory executed in the story. Regarding the characters, the story centers on the family of our protagonists, and I think a good ending for them would be to make the reunite. The siblings do meet one last time but because the characters are very lacking, it fails in the emotional aspect to give a proper closure.

To finally end this, I greatly enjoyed the book even if found it lacking at some things and tiresome at parts, still it was an amazing concept with many great ideas.

[Frunku · Rating 5 out of 5]

Iedereen is depressief, zelfs de maatschappij

10/10

[Braňo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no words to describe how much I enjoyed this book, so I hope this sentence is enough of a review.

[Ana Fernanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hate endings were the conclusion is just that we should all die.
Unoriginal, waste of time, contradictory, lazy, poorly developed and, worst sin of them all, boring.

[Ana Pau Carbonell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ay amigos no lo c mas como un 2 and a half i write a review despues

[Simona · Rating 3 out of 5]

There have been few books I have read recently in the genre that could be called buddhistic science fiction. One of the mechanics in this book is the 3-dimensional world Samsara, just around the "corner" a 4-dimensional world called Vex an a fabled 5-dimensional world Nibbanna. The author thankfully did not try to describe the geometry governing this configuration, so he could have artistic freedom with how they work in this world. That might have been for me the most interesting part of the book. The author is trying to warn humanity to moderate our use of resources to prevent things like global warming. I would say that part of the story-line is rather clumsy. I did not believe the motivation or logic of many things that happen there, some characters were hastily written just to serve a purpose and to be quickly disposed of. Overall the story could have been shortend at some places and extended at others.

[Christian Cragg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Weird ass book with weird ass physics and weird ass creatures. There's enough alcohol consumption to kill a man. A baby was asked if it had any objections and it didn't appear to have any, diarrhoea was mentioned during a public debate and backflip attempts were made. All in all a great book for anyone who is insane. Cheers.

[Finn Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfection.

[Aditigro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oscilates between absolutely brilliant and "What the hell is happening, how did we even get here?" It's a decent book with a great ending.

[Raphael Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Drunk old man vs drug addict Deer (in space)

[Pim de Rijke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Een absurde en filosofische take op wetenschap vs theologie in een futuristische wereld met dezelfde klimaatproblematiek en -ontkenning als nu.

"The house was burning down, but we were so enjoying the glow..."

Een echte aanrader!

[Koen van Wermeskerken · Rating 4 out of 5]

In deze dimensie vermakelijk, en vanuit de 5e dimensie uitmuntend

[Euan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. Rounding up because it is self published.

I enjoyed the philosophical maunderings here (which is what I look to exurb1a for) and what I'll call the "main" plot was very good, but what should have been just a little backstory to set up the two siblings the blurb promised was instead 150 pages which really began to drag. It was going to be 3 stars, but I do agree with the philosophical point the novel is trying to make about overconsumption, and think it was well-displayed. It's a parable, really, as well as a novel.

It does miss the humour of exurb1a's video scripts though. I've jokingly referred to those as videos which bring to the edge of an existential crisis and then pull you back at the last minute, but with the ending and the lack of humour I feel this just leaves you there.

[Ingvild Oline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as compelling as the other stories in my Exurb1a binge, but nonetheless just as otherly and intriguing to follow.

[Giovanni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not just about two brothers. This book is about science and religion, it is about unlimited exploitation of limited resources and the end of the universe. It’s a generations long journey throughout the galaxy and the higher dimensions and a never-ending debate between scientific proofs and religious beliefs crashing with each other.
Although you can clearly feel some sort of fatigue from the author halfway through (of which he talked on exurb2a), it is still a great book where language is treated almost as music making it very pleasant to read through, just like all of the other books from this author.

[Maya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished it. I cried. Alot.