To Be A Trans Man

by Ezra Woodger (Editor)

Men in all stages of transition have come and gone from my life, and each one has been entirely different. It's difficult to feel as if you fail at being a man when you know there isn't a singular 'right' way to be one.

In this illuminating and radically honest book, Ezra Woodger interviews trans men and transmasculine people to interrogate what masculinity is and what it means to be a man. Covering a wide range of topics, from dealing with judgement and expectations - both external and internal - to the experience of gender euphoria, finding a community and the growth and openness that trans-inclusive spaces can provide, the stories in this book highlight the power of being true to who you are.

With contributions from trans men from across the UK and US, including Fox Fisher, Ezra Michel and many more, their words offer comfort, guidance and an important reminder of the joy and strength of existing as a trans man, regardless of how you look.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Transgender, Queer, Biography, Memoir, Anthologies

192 pages, Paperback

First published October 21, 2022

Reviews

[james · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Sometimes, I forget I'm trans. Not that I think I'm cis - I wouldn't especially want to be, even if it were possible - but I just find myself settling into my body, accustomed to its curves and muscles, the way I never relax my shoulders properly and am constantly biting my lip. I exist within my skin, organs, parts and the feelings they carry with them. In my own mind, I am just a normal dude."


New Year's resolutions consist of carrying a book around everywhere I go and writing long reviews again so you will have to sit through my incoherent blabbering.


This has been on my TBR for a good two years and I put off reading it for two reasons. One, it was impossible to find for a majority of those two years and two, I think there were points in my life during the last two years where this very positive account of trans masculine experiences would have given me major dysphoria.

Interestingly enough, the last point is also something that is being brought up by one of the people in the book: Seeing someone being at a stage of their transition that you feel like you will never achieve can feel upsetting and invoke negative feelings. And that's okay. You are both allowed to exist.

I found that sentiment to be very kind. Every once in a while my Instagram algorithm will decide that it's only trans content that I wanna see and after five hundred transition reels in a row I will search for What-I-Eat-In-A-Day-Videos to pull it out of that sinkhole. I was never quite able to articulate what it is that I am feeling or why I am feeling it and why there have been periods in my life where I have shied away from all forms of trans content but I am glad that there are people who have felt the same way (and also that I'm not a idiot for feeling it).


Speaking of feeling the same way (masterclass of contextual transitions, we are off to a fantastic start this year): as a trans masculine person/a non-binary trans man I found it very refreshing (and also kinda interesting) that most of the people in this identified in some sort of non-binary way and even if they didn't, still seemed to present their (self-defined binary trans masculinity) in a very gender non-conforming way.

There is a lot (and I really mean, A LOT) of talk in this book about how many of them started their transitions by adapting a very cis-confirming and usually toxic idea of what masculinity is and what it's supposed to look like. Only with time, most (if not all) of them moved away from this notion and started presenting their masculinity in more "feminine" and gender non-conforming ways, making the concept of masculinity their own.

This is something I noticed and continue to notice in myself too. Not being on any kind of hormones (yet, fingers crossed) I feel this need sometimes to dress in baggy jeans and hoodies - featureless, unknowable, maybe at least somewhat passing. There's also talk in this book about making your facial features more neutral or angry to look more masculine and as someone with constant angy-face (especially in selfies) - lmao.

But this is not who I am and this is not how I want to dress and present myself (at least not all of the times). But the wish to at least kinda be perceived more masculine is as of now still winning the competition against my need to present myself the way I actually want to. I do hope this eventually changes, probably with hormones as it did for the majority of interviewees in this book.

My main point though is that I am glad and happy that in the transmasc community there is now so many different ways to present yourself and your gender identity. That the view that you have to be on hormones and look and act like a stereotypical man and be stealth (all notions that were very prevalent when I was first starting to have feelings of being .... different✨) are slowly but surely being replaced. That we are being allowed and allowing ourselves to go with the flow and just exist.


I found this book to be very a very positive and uplifting account of different trans masculine experiences. I didn't mind that it was mostly trans activists and somewhat famous trans people being interviewed (and not your "average everyday trans man"). I think they are still perfectly capable of adding to the conversation - even though their everyday lives might be lived in different circles from the rest of us. I would definitely recommend this book to trans and cis people alike. (can you tell that i wrote this paragraph last when i noticed that i haven't actually said anything about the book as a whole yet but that at this point i also started losing steam)


To end this mess: When I was younger (love making this sound like it was ages ago when I was a child. I mean, yeah, back then too. But I'm talking about when I was literally twenty-two) I would often think about whether I wish that I was born cis. And while that answer would have been different years ago, I am now confident in saying: no. And I think this quote from the book summarizes my feelings on that quite well:

"Being trans in this world is an experience, yeah, but I can't perceive myself in any other way. I don't want to not be trans. I can't understand who that person would be. We are the culmination of all our experiences; that's what makes us people. All the things that have happened in our lives, and the ways that we've responded to them. I can't say with any certainty obviously, but I do think that if I had been assigned male at birth, I would still struggle with conforming to the gender that I'd been assigned, and I would possibly identify as genderqueer and non-binary."


TL;DR: guess who is regretting his new year's resolutions already

[Tyler Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is definitely a valuable book, but it did fall flat for me. I'm a trans man. This is an interview format getting to know 8 different transmasculine people. I don't know if it's because I got this from netgalley or not but I couldn't always tell who was speaking because only one of them was labeled.

They are all influencers of some kind or really privileged. I would have liked to hear from some more average transmasc people.

It felt like there was something missing from one interview to the next. Like something to bridge them, some insight, talk of common themes..

These interviews are valuable though and we can see there is no one right way to be a trans man. Just like there is no one way to be a cis man. Each person has their own relationship with masculinity, and I am glad this book exists.

[Lizzie S · Rating 3 out of 5]

To Be a Trans Man is a collection of interviews conducted by the author with a series of trans men and transmasculine people about the topic of masculinity. Described as containing "contributions from trans men from across the UK and US", I went in to this book expecting more of an essay format than an interview format. While the topics covered in this book are important and I deeply enjoyed hearing from people with radically different experiences discuss masculinity, the casual interview format didn't quite work for me. It felt like reading a very long podcast transcript, rather than a book. As a result, I'm giving To Be a Trans Man a 3 star rating. It deserves 4 or 5 stars for content and 2 stars for format, so I'm landing in the middle.

** Thanks so much to NetGalley, Ezra Woodger, and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this ARC! To Be a Trans Man is out now! **

[Ruby Dosier · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ (79%)

*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley for free in exchange for an honest review. Thank you NetGalley!

This was a very interesting and eye opening book that follows the lives and experiences of 8 trans men. While this book was very cool and interesting, I do have to say that unfortunately it fell a little flat for me.

As a cisgender white woman, I don't know much about the experiences of trans men/transmasculine people. I requested this book in order to gain more of an insight into the experience of trans men, but I left still feeling confused and with questions that are still unanswered.

I wanted to hear about experiences from my next door neighbor or the person that sits next to me in class, but instead we heard from influencers and people with PhDs. We got to hear about the projects/outreach efforts that these influencers have organized, and that was indeed very interesting.

I don't mean to be a bummer, but I want to hear about the trans experience from a less privileged lens. While the experiences of these people were eye-opening and 100% valid, I want to hear from those who may not have the resources to become an influencer or pursue their PhD. I feel like this book didn't really speak much about trans identity and the factors that play into it, but rather trans advocacy and what what these folks with a platform are doing to create a space for other trans people.

This book was very interesting and I loved hearing the stories from these 8 individuals, but I would've loved to see a bit more class diversity and language that will better help all people understand trans identity.

[Alien Bookreader · Rating 3 out of 5]

* I received this book from Netgalley for free in exchange of an honest review.

An interesting non fiction book on transmasculine people, though it wasn't what I was expecting.

Based off the title, I expected collection of essays about the experience of being a trans man. However this book is a series of interviews with 8 trans influencers discussing their projects. The introduction by Ezra Woodger (the author) was my favorite part of the book.


Positives:
This book showcases projects led by trans people, for trans people, like inclusive gyms, theatre, documentary projects, makeup artistry. You see the different paths these trans men have taken and their successes. These interviews focus mainly on the joy of being trans and the positive aspects of transitioning, not only about the difficult parts.

However, this book is focused on a narrow demographic: influencers, most (or all) of which are from the UK. A lot of the issues they bring up are about online hate comments, not getting as many likes on their posts as cis influencers, experiencing an aggressive TV interview with Piers Morgan etc. These are high profile people. The trans men I know have very different issues in their lives. Many issues mentioned in this book are more problems of being an influencer rather than the problems of being trans.

Lack of focus:

A lot of the interviews lacked focus, like a celebrity interview where the interviewer asks broad questions about the celebrity's life, and the audience, eager to know any information, will consume it all. However, I didn't know these trans influencers beforehand, so the interviews felt aimless. A lot of banter could have been edited out.

Target Demographic:

Unlike other reviewers, I think this book is aimed at a trans readership, not the general public. This is positive in that is shows the lives of successful trans people. The interviewees mention that too often media about being trans focuses only the negatives aspects, so this book is a good counterweight.

The book will not answer questions that cis people have, and for readers unfamiliar with LGTBQ issues, it could be very confusing. For one, a lot of terminology is used: transmedicalists, TERFS, trans Euphoria, transmasculine, neopronouns, cis-normative gender constructs, etc. These terms are referenced often but not deeply discussed. One example, paraphrased "I used to be a transmedicalist but not anymore". The question the reader will have (left unanswered) is "so what changed your mind?" For someone who doesn’t know the term “transmedicalist” this passage in the book will go over their head.

A Surprising Amount of Gender Stereotypes:

I have to be honest, I was surprised at how strongly the interviewees believe in gender stereotypes. Totally neutral behaviors are gendered. Some behaviors labeled "masculine" in the interviews: wearing black, not liking the color pink, drinking strong tea, being competitive, climbing trees, playing sports, talking about aliens, paying for dinner.

Girls and women do all these things. Women wear black, drink strong tea, play sports. I talked about aliens with lots of girls when I was little and was never told I was boyish for this, I climbed trees all the time (still do). I know more women who dislike the color pink than women who like it. Do we really need to perpetuate these limited views of what women and girls are allowed to do? Is this the way to for trans men to affirm their identities?

There is a kind of double think happening now that I see a lot online. It is considered very uncool for a girl to say "I'm not like other girls. All those other girls just care about wearing pink and shopping, but me, I am strong, smart and competitive."

Women who say things like this are often labelled "pick me girls", or "tree house climbers" and these behaviors are often put under the umbrella of "internalized misogyny". If a man affirmed some of these silly stereotypes (“all women like pink”) he would be immediately called out for stereotyping.

However if you paint women in this reductive and stereotyped way but follow it up by saying you're trans, you get a free pass. There's a double standard.

Conclusion:

Overall an interesting book of interviews on trans advocacy, creating inclusive spaces and what it's like to be a trans influencer, however a bit aimless at times and gives a superficial treatment of some major trans issues (like transmedicalism).

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ezra Woodger's To Be A Trans Man is a short collection of interviews with trans men and non-binary transmasculine people; while some of his interviewees are people of colour and/or disabled people, almost all of them identify as artists, social media influencers and/or activists, and most of them are relatively young. This uniformity, coupled with a lack of editorial control by Woodger, makes this a much less interesting book than it should have been. As Woodger makes clear, trans men's experiences are still rarely talked about, and myths about trans men abound; it's so important that we understand the particular kinds of oppression that trans men and transmasculine people face.

And To Be A Trans Man is not devoid of interesting insights (honestly, I think you'd struggle to get nothing interesting out of long interviews with literally anybody, and Woodger's interviewees obviously have very different life experiences from most). Casper, one of the few older interviewees, also unusual in coming from the rural north of England, has the most to say about how being trans has affected his sense of secure adulthood, which I found fascinating. 'I'm ten years behind in other developmental, social ways... It's something I'm working on now - just feeling that I am an adult... because I didn't go through real, proper puberty until the age of 26 [when he transitioned].'

One recurring theme is the idea of 'male femininity'; a number of Woodger's interviewees push back against the idea that being a trans man means conforming to stereotypical masculine norms, and yet they insightfully discuss how they often tried to fit into male stereotypes earlier in their transitions, believing this was the only way to be seen as a 'real man'. Kasper (a different one!) sums this up as the idea that if 'you're a trans man... you have to give up every single feminine thing about yourself' but emphasises the joy he feels when wearing elaborate makeup, arguing that his masculinity has always been flamboyant and camp. He also criticises 'passing tips': 'they were all things like "don't smile and don't move out of the way of people in the street". Be really mean to everybody and then everyone will think you're a man'. Ironically, he suggests, it can be harder for trans men to play with masculinity, because they still feel they have to prove themselves. Having said this, I would have loved to see this theme explored more deeply, as the same point is repeated throughout a number of the interviews without Woodger delving any further. (I'm thinking of texts such as Jack Halberstam's Female Masculinity and Finn Mackay's work on butch/queer masculinities - I'd love to see similar work on 'male femininity'.)

Unsurprisingly, the interviewees often have much to say about how gender expectations pigeonhole everyone, even people who are not trans. Leo, a disabled trans man, reflects that when they use their wheelchair, they are read as more gender ambiguous: 'The fact that I'm in a more passive physical pose is enough for them to add up what they're seeing to way over on the side of "probably a woman"'. Charlie reflects on the benefits and harms of being 'invisible' as a trans man: 'I am still very well aware of the fact that women get hassled on the street. When I have women friends talk to me about the kind of stuff that they have to put up with on a daily basis and it's like, well, I just exist. I walk outside my house and I exist outside my house, and that's the way it is.' Woodger comments: ''The invisibility that we experience has led to a significant disregard for our rights and the issues we face but is also a privilege in its own way.' This recognition, however, linked to one of my frustrations with the book; that it pushes the idea of a cis/trans dichotomy, rather than recognising how everyone struggles with performing gender and living up to gender expectations. This is not to say that trans men's particular experiences aren't valuable here, but that the book as a whole risked setting up a new binary while claiming to break down barriers.

A lot of the problems I had with this book, therefore, were with the way it was edited and compiled rather than the individual contributors themselves. The interviews are very repetitive, and this is often due to the questions Woodger asked and what/who he has chosen to include. This makes the book as a whole feel shallow. I also wondered who this book was aimed at. People who are more familiar with trans activism and trans writing probably won't need to be told a lot of this, but the book assumes a close familiarity with a lot of activist terms, so it isn't really accessible for people coming to this topic for the first time. I wanted the depth of experience I've found in memoirs like Thomas Page McBee's Amateur, and that wasn't present here. So while I appreciated the insights noted above, these were scattered through an unsatisfying text. 2.5 stars.

I received a free proof copy of this book from the publisher for review.

[Rachel Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of interviews that Ezra conducts with trans men is fascinating and lends a much-needed voice to the conversation on the experiences of trans people. Most of what I see and read about trans people is from the perspective of men transitioning so there's definitely a gap in the information available around women transitioning to presenting as male.

The interviews are predominantly with trans men in the arts so the conversation tends to skew liberal and humanistic, transmedicalism for example (the idea that trans people are experiencing body dysmorphia which is best remedied through surgery) is somewhat villainised. However, this skew does have the benefit of producing consistent and prevailing themes throughout the book.

The main takeaway for me was around the concept of "passing" and how this intersects with masculinity, in particular toxic masculinity. Many of the men interviewed had a difficult relationship with passing - on the one hand they found a freedom in it but they also battled with the need to conform to what can be damaging stereotypes. The idea that men should be physically strong, should not cry, should not care about emotions etc. becomes something trans men feel they need to embody if they are to be accepted as masculine even if that's not how they would otherwise choose to be.

One interviewee spoke of how, although he was now male presenting and could pass as such, he did not feel safe in cis-male spaces but was not welcome in cis-female spaces. This experience again demonstrates the contradictions and grey areas that trans men have to navigate.

I loved that a few of the interview subjects spoke about trans joy. While they accepted that trauma can be part of the trans experience, they were keen to state that it is not the only experience.

My view of transitioning was also challenged somewhat when one of the men interviewed spoke of the fact that transitioning is more about changing the way others view trans people not about them changing how they view themselves. Trans people have always viewed themselves as male/female/non-binary and are just helping everyone else see them the way they truly are. It is us, as people who interact with the trans community, who need to transition our views not for them to transition to fit with us.

Honestly, I could write an essay on everything I learned from this book and the quotes I underlined so I will stop there. I will end by saying this is definitely a book that anyone interested in learning more about transitioning, directly from trans people, should purchase and read. In facilitating and sharing these conversations, Ezra Woodger has done much to enrich the wider conversation around the trans experience.

[Andreas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a bit disappointed by this mainly due to how the book was marketed. It’s presented as a book about trans men in general, but in reality it is a series of interviews with transmasc influencers and activists. If you’re going to write a book about The Transmasc Experience, you gotta include a few regular dudes too, and not just focus on those who are hip and cool and have a big online presence.

The interviews themselves definitely bring up interesting points and experiences, but the formating also takes away from the content - in fact my favoruite part of this book was probably the author’s introduction which was the only chapter formatted as an essay.

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a queer person who felt they were a pretty strong ally to the trans community, this book taught me I wasn't - but in all the right ways.

This book taught me many things about trans experiences, gender expression, identity and representation with the consistent overarching concept of masculinity; how its perceived and presented both by the patriarchy, and by different members of the trans community.

This book takes the format of a series of interviews of several transmen and transmasculine people. Woodger does a fantastic job of bringing a range of people from different experiences and identities together to consider similar concepts and to share their experiences throughout their gender journey's.

This book helps to demystify the stereotypes of what trans people "must" do (Spoiler: They don't have to do anything). It helps to stop (completely demolish) the concept of being "born in the wrong body" (Spoiler: that phrase is wrong in so many ways! In my opinion, that phrase is to make cis people more comfortable, this book helped me to realise that.)

I didn't know of many of the people highlighted in this book prior to reading, however appreciate the positive nature Woodger brings to the interviews, and gives them space to share their stories, it made for a pleasant read.

"I am not a man because of my biology, I am a man because I am"

I highly recommend this book to everyone, not of any specific gender, race, religion or age.
Simply, to everyone; it's a must read.

Let's all be better Ally's, together.

[Mia Guzzo · Rating 4 out of 5]

To Be A Trans Man is a book of interviews from trans men that highlight the diverse experiences from this underrepresented group. This novel was refreshing- as someone gender non-conforming it is so hard to find any media involving gender that is not miserable and highlights pain. Those involved in this book were open and honest about their experience with gender in a realistic but celebratory way. While I enjoyed this book a lot, parts of it seemed to drag on for me which is more a fault of the formatting and repetitive discussion rather than the actual book.

This book is perfect for cisgender people who want to learn more about the authentic trans experience but also for trans or gender non-conforming people who want to feel less isolated by reading Trans joy. I cannot wait to see what Woodger does next in the community, writing or otherwise- I believe more individuals with his point of view need to be highlighted.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s important to me to read books by and about people with very different experiences than I have, so I was super excited to pick this one up. The author, a trans man himself, interviews a diverse group of trans men and transmasculine people and has great discussions with them about their identities and projects.

The concept is five stars, but I’d give the execution three stars: many of the interviews stayed more surface level than I would have liked, and it was hard to read in large chunks. In fairness to the author, I recently read Sister Outsider which also contains interviews about identity, and anyone’s going to be found lacking when compared to Audre Lorde.

I received this book from Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Sorren Briarwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC from NetGalley in return for an honest review.

To Be A Trans Man is a quick, but rewarding read, filled with thoughtful commentary on gender, masculinity, patriarchy, and more. Woodger is clearly a very competent invterviewer, and these interviews have a friendly, confessional tone. I appreciated that common threads between each interview emerged organically, and that Woodger didn’t impose excessive commentary onto these interviews– just the foreword and the afterword. This isn’t a piece of analysis, but as advertised, a collection of interviews, allowing for the reader to reflect themselves on each transmaculine individual’s experiences as told in their own words.

Because these interviews are so conversational, I couldn’t help wishing that I could hear each of them, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this book would have been more successful in a podcast format, or something like it. I also found my appetite wasn’t quite sated by the time I finished: I was eager to hear from a few more individuals, given how strong all these interviews were. However, I still greatly enjoyed this reading experience, and am looking forward to engaging further with Woodger’s work in the future.

Perusing other reviews, I’ve noticed a few things I wanted to touch on. The first of which is complaints regarding the fact that various influencers, activists, etc. were consulted in this book, rather than those of us with more “normal,” occupations. Personally, I enjoyed the interviewees chosen for a few key reasons: transmascs aren’t exactly spoiled for choice when it comes to public figures we can look up to and draw inspiration from, and I found it inspiring hearing from so many successful trans men who were public about their transition– I’m confident anyone grappling with the choice of whether to remain safely stealth or step out of the closet in the name of activism, community, and/or solidarity will feel similarly. (Besides, none of these transmascs are exactly Beyonce– I happen to know who Eza Michel is, for example, and listen to his music, but ~230,000 streams on his most popular song on Spotify does not exactly a superstar-make.) On the heels of that, so many of us that are out are involved in activism simply because our rights (and the rights of the wider trans community) are under such vicious attack, and simply existing is viewed as a political statement by the right. Activism and community outreach is a vital facet of trans culture, and it simply can’t be cleaved from the trans experience: it belongs in this book.

I’ve also noticed one or two cisgender readers commenting that they felt confused by this book, or left with further questions, having picked it up to learn about the transgender community. Good! This isn’t a thesis statement, it clearly invites readers to reflect for themselves. I’d argue that this book isn’t a starting point for those just beginning to educate themselves about the community– nor does it purport to be. This is a more nuanced conversation about the multifaceted experience of being transgender, and it was refreshing to read something that doesn’t grind to a halt to explain basic terminology every few paragraphs. It’s certainly not bogged down in terminology, or scientific- these are casual conversations after all, but if you don’t come to this book with at least a basic understanding of what it means to be trans, you might find yourself lost: if you are looking for a basic introduction, there are plenty of books that fill that niche, and I don’t think it’s fair to judge this book on that basis.

To summarise, I would recommend this book to anyone with a basic understanding of gender theory, looking to hear from more voices, and particularly to anyone particularly interested in exploring masculinity and masculine identity in the context of a patriarchal, cisheteronormative status-quo.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange of an honest review.

This is a short collection of interviews with trans masculine people from different media backgrounds. This is a short, easy to understand book. As the focus is more personal stories and experiences, it benefits from not being filled with a large amount of jargon, and scientific articles. Though there are some at the end of the book along with representative movies and shows, I assume for people who want to explore the subject more.

The main focus of the book is the personal stories of the people being interviewed. Their views on masculinity, trans representation and trans activism. The first half of the book focuses on what masculinity means, their struggles with the binary understanding of gender and their ultimate conclusions on it.

In the second half of the book, the tone changes as the interviews focus on activists and directors and their work. Personally, this was my favourite part. Talking about how representation could be improved and what do activists need to focus on. Eg. Shouting at TERFs on twitter is just going to make you sad, instead focus on the real world implications, like employment rates of Trans people, problems that disabled or elderly Trans people could face.

In each interview Woodger finds the positives and magnifies them which I thought was great as even one of the interviewers said media that involves trans people often focuses on depression and suffering. Its a much needed light as well, considering all the negative news that is coming out regarding Trans people on both sides of the pond.

I would recommend this book to everyone, whether part of the LGBT+ community or not. It is great as an introductory text for people looking to understand some of the issues Trans people face, but celebrate the victories of personal discovery equally. It was also really interesting to read about the experiences of a group who are not often in the limelight of public discourse around Trans issues (at least in my own experience), but are equally affected by them.

[Jenn the Readaholic · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an absolute must-read, no matter your pronouns. I’m a cis-het woman who wanted to understand what my trans loved ones may have experienced or if their experiences were “the norm” and let me tell you, this book brought it all. I felt the same pain and misery reading the accounts of realization and the hope felt with the start of transitioning as I’ve watched others go through in person. And one thing really stuck with me: the hope. The fact that a haircut was so often described as the first way to truly start to express oneself in these pages aligned perfectly with my loved one’s experience that I wanted to run to that person and say that I get it even more now. Or the pain of knowing that family may not fully accept one of these people who shared their stories. That slayed me because I can’t imagine trying to squelch someone’s actual true self, but I know it happens all too often.

But not all tales related here were sad. And even those tinged with sadness had hope and happiness. Just knowing that access to care is better, yet still an issue, or that toxic behavior and beliefs are just as possible among the transgender community as others, reminded me that we’ve come a long way but are nowhere near done with the fight yet. And I say this as an ally. One person here said that it’s a political fight and they’re absolutely right. It is. Even if you’re accepted by your own friends and family, someone else isn’t. Or some stranger hates enough to try to push everyone else to their misled ideal of perfection. So this was a perfect reminder not to give up because so much good has already come and more should follow.

This isn’t just a read for the LGBTQIA+ community. This is actually a read for anyone. And cis people may need it more than anybody else because it will humanize those deemed “other” and will hopefully make the reader think more about equality and just how much everyone deserves love and the chance to be themselves. After all, without some discomfort or self-reflection, folks will never learn to do better.

[Treessing · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the great ARC!

This is a very quick, non-fiction written in interview form by Ezra Woodger. It's told by trans and nonbinary trans people, discussing what it means to be masculine, and how we are defined by our bodies rather than our hearts and our experiences.

I thought this was a great set-up. Though we only had around five-six-seven interviewees, I was happy to get what we got. I enjoyed seeing masculinity through the eyes of several beautiful people. Trans men, nonbinary, those on the spectrum of masculinity, etc.

This sort of non-fiction is so important because we don't just look at facts, or statistics. This is human to human. The experiences and lives of those we haven't met, but who speak to us through their history and their present.

Ezra has a beautiful way with words, their prose flowery and inviting. I enjoyed this short collection immensely and was moved by it throughout my entire read. However, something felt missing. My only grief is that I wanted so much more. So much more inclusion and diversity, more voices, more stories, more, more, more. This was too short, too condensed, lacking in what it tried to provide in under two hundred pages.

I thought... there's more than millions of people in the world. I only read about six?

Needless to say, I hope there's more. And I hope everyone gets a chance to read this.

[Siobhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

To Be A Trans Man is a collection of interviews with trans masculine people exploring joy, hope, masculinity, and community. The contributors have a range of experiences and the interviews cover a lot of different topics, from the personal to the political, but generally tend to focus on happiness and strength, and moments of euphoria.

The concept and content of the book are great, and the interview style makes it easy to read quickly or dip in and out of, so it is perhaps more accessible than reading a memoir or something heavier. I did find that sometimes some of the interviews blurred into each other, possibly because the format made me skim more, but that's probably just personal preference. The mixture of experiences in terms of gender and sexuality was good to see (especially as a non-binary person), and it'll be useful for people, both trans and cis, to hear different perspectives about trans masculinity.

[Nessie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"How to be a Trans Man" was an odd read for me, bouncing between painfully relatable, to beyond my scope of understanding. I am, of course, nonbinary rather than a man, which could have caused this dichotimy, but I think part of it is also that the lives of influencers tend to feel less relatable to average people. I do like that the people represented in this book are from all kinds of different backgrounds and stances, giving various perspectives which are quite interesting.
The interview style writing feels clunky, but works well for the purposes of this book. All in all a solid read that I would recommend to not just transmasculine people, but also cis queer guys looking at their own masculinity.

[Gabriel Noel · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC given by NetGalley for Honest Review

A well put together and informative collection of interviews on how trans-masculinity and what it's like to exist as a trans man. Woodger did a great job with the questions asked and the contributors all came from different backgrounds so you got a wide array of opinions from people with different kinds of hardships and privilege's. It's well written and attention grabbing so I was able to finish it in one sitting!

As a trans man, this was a pretty affirming read in terms of my gender expression and definitely will be with others! A good read and informative for anyone, trans or cis alike! Woodger does only focus on trans individuals living in the UK so some things may only be applicable to those living in that area.

[Thrudr · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book even as I read non-fiction seldomly. The premise of the book was following a series of 8 interviews with trans men and transmasculine people. I really enjoyed all of the discussions about masculinity and the different point of views exposed in the book. Really great that the book was also written/coordinated by an OwnVoices writer.

I think this is a must read regardless of your gender identity as it will provide a perspective and much food for thought. Overall a really good read!

**I received an electronic ARC from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for honest review.**

[Anna Fraser · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you so much to Jessica Kingsley publishers for sending me a ARC of this book!! I myself am not a trans man, but my younger brother is. I have always wanted to find a way to connect and learn more about how he feels. I think this book give you an inside look at trans mens brains, and how they can to terms with themselves. I would definitely recommend this to trans men and people who know trans men!

[Clementine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this series of interviews with trans men and transmasculine people. The interviews focus on the specificities of their lives and careers as well as more broadly on what it means to be a trans man. I really enjoyed all of the discussions about masculinity and the opportunity that exists to create a form of masculinity outside of toxic cisnormative binary ideals. I wish there had been more diversity in terms of age - all of the interviewees seem to be in their twenties and thirties. I think having more generational representation would have been interesting - to see how experiences and identities and attitudes have shifted over time. That said, I know that one book can't be everything. I hope to see more first-person narratives about being trans to fill in those gaps.

[olivia]

read as an eARC through Net Galley!

An informative, interesting and lovely piece of non-fiction that was enlightening on the lives of trans men. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I feel the need to educate myself on issues other members face and found this a really accessible read that I thoroughly enjoyed. It uplifted trans voices and showed the joy that the trans community feel, a perspective that is deeply underrepresented in the media. Would definitely recommend!

[studio_rat04 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for giving me a digital ARC of To Be A Trans Man in exchange for an honest review.

This was a conversation about Trans Identity that centered the joy and talks about our lives in depth. It is rare I read a book with trans representation that genuinely makes me happy to be trans. Aside from some nice representation, I don't always feel very moved. But this genuinely makes me feel joy about my identity, this makes me happier, more confident, and excited to be trans.

I loved how the book focuses more on the idea of masculinity that manhood strictly, it allows various nonbinary identities into the conversation and welcomes their input. Masculinity is something that can't be easily defined as a whole and each person experiences it differently. There was something amazing about how unfiltered the conversations felt and how each interview was so raw. If ever there is a book trans-masculine people need to read, or one cis people should read to be allies, it is this one.

[Sylvie Frog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks for the recommendation Alix!

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be a trans man by Ezra Woodger.

Thank you to Netgallery for an ARC for an unbiased review.

So, my husband is transgender. As a result, we have numerous trans friends. Male, female and non-binary. Some transmasculine, some not. So I was very interested to read experiences from others, as I think the trans male voice isn't always heard or understood by others.
I think the book brought some important things to the conversations needed, by both the cis world but also the trans world, as it can sadly also have those who are less than understanding on some things. Particularly for those who don't fall into the definition of two main genders. We have personally seen more non-binary or gender fluid trans men (and women,) than ever before and got to know them. And that's so great to see. We have to accept all identities within the community and I fully understand a lot of what was said within the book. It might not be what my husband identifies as, but he recognises that many others want and need to have more fluidity in expressing their authentic selves.

But there is also something where the book just didn't work for me.
It just lacked something that I'm struggling to define. It took a while but after I was able to step away from it for a few days, I can say it wasn't the content per se, more just how that content is done. The biggest factor was these experiences are from people who are either social media influencers or have done something else to have them stand out above the crowd. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in that, but I felt it also needed more about trans identity from those who haven't written a book, or who aren't influencers or haven't written a song.

This doesn't mean what was discussed wasn't valid or important. It absolutely was. But the irony for me is it didn't feel as if the people being asked were diverse enough!
The way it is presented, the style of narrative is also where it falls down for me. I was expecting more of a written narrative from trans men, in the style the author did in the forward. But this was more Q&A, so it lacked a cohesion for me that I think it might've gained had people just been asked to write experiences down in a regular chapter format.

As someone who is also versed in a lot of the language found in the LGBTQA and trans community, I also felt that all too often things put in would make little or no sense, even to some in the trans community. Not everyone knows of section 28 for example, trans or otherwise. Especially if a reader isn't from the UK or is younger or didn't experience it. Our history is not everyone's history.

Not everyone understands what cis means. Even I had to stop and look up what transmedicalist meant, and while I'm cis, a reminder my husband is trans. I realised I did know of it, I'd just never heard it refered to that way. So plus point, I did learn something. Negative, I had to stop and google it. We live with many of these phrases etc. Believe me, if I'm struggling to understand context of a word or phrase, then a lot of others will be too. A good solid appendix section at the end would do a lot to alleviate that.

This brings me to the last thing for me. This felt more like a message of trans advocacy, which again, in itself is not something to say is a bad thing. But not enough balance for trans identity was being spoken about.
I wanted to love this book. I still think it has an important place. But I feel it doesn't encompass quite what the book seemed to imply.

If asked to sum up - there are important voices, but not the diversity I had hoped for. I can see or ask a lot of similar influencers what was expressed in this book via various social media. I'd hoped to hear voices that weren't on the platforms. A mix is fine. It just felt rather narrow in execution. Also a good appendix is needed to clarify a lot of the terminology used. Both for the cis and trans audience.
So after wanting desperately to give this 5 stars, I'm afraid to say I'm giving it 3/5 stars 🌟

[Gabrielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would just like to thank NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review! Thanks again!

I requested this book in order to learn more about what it is like for a transgender man, I wanted to learn more about their experiences and how they found the transition process. Whilst there was definitely insight into their experiences it felt very different from what my expectations were for this book. Firstly, it felt like we were getting a very particular viewpoint and not a variety of experiences from the eight men that were interviewed. The men who were interviewed were either social media personas or had phd’s (there is nothing wrong with this!), however I would have much preferred it if we had real interviews from real people in the community not those who already have a public presence. It felt, and this is purely my opinion, it was easier to pick individuals already in the public than your everyday person.

I did enjoy how the book was written. The question and answer process was really interesting and easy to read. I love how the author made it very clear who was talking and managed to keep the personality of the interviewee throughout their writing. I found, at times, as someone who is learning about the LGBTQ+ community that some of the terminology that was used could have been explained more. For someone who may not know the terminology it would have been a very complicated read as they would need to constantly research what specific terms mean.

There were quite a lot of questions left unanswered throughout this book. I would have appreciated a little more clarity about certain topics that were discussed, such as the charity events, how recovery is important, their mental health and how they managed to overcome what may have been very distressing events in their lives.

It was very interesting to read that a lot of the experiences each of the eight men went through were very similar. For instance, the interviewees and the author discuss hyper-masculinity and how they had a perception on what they should do to be perceived as a man. I love how each person has come to understand that masculinity is not a specific person, that you are a man because you are a man.

One quote I loved from this book that stuck with me was this from Rico Jacob Chace and this discusses mental health, and it truly resonated with me. “If you break your arm it heals, when you break your brain it also needs to heal”.

[Chessie Gordon · Rating 5 out of 5]

To Be A Trans Man is comprised of a collection of interviews the author Ezra Woodger (also a transman) has with a variety of transmen, transmasculine and gender non-conforming people. The book discusses and explores masculinity at length; what it means to these individuals, the role it plays in their own lives and within wider society. It also covers careers, community, relationships and the perhaps most importantly the simpler side of everyday

I was really excited to read this as transmasculine experiences are seriously underrepresented in books, media and society in general. Overall, I think this book is brilliant and really important. It’s a nice, easy read as it’s fairly short and the interview style is relaxed and friendly. The people interviewed had a range of backgrounds and experiences so it felt diverse and definitely portrayed that there is no one way to be trans. I enjoyed that there was a lot of space given to exploring trans joy and simply showing trans people thriving as opposed to solely focusing on the difficulties that come with being trans.

I did find myself wishing the book was longer, that had more interviews and showcased a wider range of experiences and perspectives, but I think it is because there is so little positive trans representation as opposed to there being something missing in the book itself. I’d definitely read a second volume though!

One of the interviewees Caspar J. Baldwin said something that I think beautifully summarises why this book is needed and what’s so special about it: ’It’s the boring trans experience that has been left out. I think that’s part of why it’s important to have this, because the narrative was that being trans comes out of drama, or that you have to in some way be traumatised in order to be trans. Actually, most trans people are just regular people, who just happen to be this way’.

To Be A Trans Man is definitely a welcome piece of positive trans representation, but also successfully highlights how far we still have to go as a society in accepting, normalising, and celebrating trans people. I would recommend this book to everyone, irrespective of gender identity, particularly for anyone looking to learn more about trans experiences, or for people wanting to explore their own relationship with masculinity.

Thank you to Netgalley and Jessica Kingsley publishers for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.

[Laura-Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an e-ARC from NetGalley.

This book follows the lived experiences of trans men and transmasculine people through interviews.

I would rather call them open discussions, as the questions were not the same for all of them. This is understandable, however, to have a better understanding of their perspectives on being trans men/transmasc people, it would've been really valuable to get their responses on the same questions, to be truly able to make a comparison, get a broad picture, and have a cohesive narrative throughout the book.

Moreover, the author inserted his answers/opinions/perspectives in the "interviews" as well so they resembled more of a regular conversation between acquaintances. On the one hand, that was great, getting to understand and know the author better at the same time (because apart from the introduction and the afterword, both short, that's the only way to get more from him), but on the other hand, I would've preferred that page time to be dedicated to the person being interviewed so they could go into more details.

I appreciated a lot the fact that they also discussed the good parts of their lives, what they were grateful for, and the positive things that happened to them since they realized they were trans. Most of the time, not only in books but in media as well, the narratives focus on the negative, which is a very important topic of conversation, but it can get quite depressing and make everything seem hopeless, so having storied of joy, gender euphoria, and love was a breath of fresh air.

It was an interesting read because everyone had a different (kind of) background. I'm saying "kind of" because all of them were influencers, already established activists, or even Ph.D. students. Learning about their current projects and goals was great, however, not all of them were explicitly mentioned so I can't look them up; same with the interviewees - can't find them online even though they are influencers… Weird.

I would've preferred more interviews with regular people, with regular lives, someone you'd be more likely to meet in your day-to-day life. And yes, they discussed their hardships, however, most (if not all) had great, supporting families, had access to HRT, surgery and so on. I'm not trying to invalidate anything here, just highlighting (as they also did in the book) their privilege.

I'm looking forward to more books like this, but focusing on less privileged perspectives that we don't get to see on the internet and social media. That I would call a truly eye-opening book.

All in all, this was an insightful read, but it could've been more powerful than it turned out to be.

[Dan Hildersley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This uplifting book is a glimpse into the nuances and variances of trans men's and transmasculine individual's experiences of navigating gender. It is a much needed record of the perspectives of transmasculine people regarding their confrontation, understanding and dismantling of binary thinking and performance of gender roles and stereotypes in their transitions and everyday lives. It is affirming to see trans men and male privileged individuals unanimously acknowledge the need for their voices to be raised in support of their community and all of its intersections, a power and form of visibility that is wholly disregarded and hidden across media in virtually all its forms. The experiences shared in this book are affirming and uniting, as too often the chase of transition, goals and standards of passing, and 'achieving' cisgender ideas of 'proper' masculinity in all its binary toxicity leaves transmasculine people estranged from their trans community and their abilities to inform the redefining of masculinity that our society so desperately needs.
Ezra Woodger is a thoughtful interviewer, who's conversational style only added to the illumination of each interviewee's experience. His questions were not cliched or too directory and the resultant interviews proved the importance of allowing marginalised people to inform at least the foundations on which their representation is built.
The content of the interviews did become slightly repetitive, as each individual's level of advocacy and activism lead to the discussion of similar ideals, conclusions and outlooks. Whilst this intersection of the trans community is rarely modelled for young transmasculine folks, that being trans men and masc people who have relatively fluid experiences of gender and strong connections with community, the content of the interviews, backgrounds, pursuits and relationships with masculinity and gender expression could have possibly been more varied. That being said, the collection was refreshingly affirmative by acknowledging important concepts such as gender euphoria, de-gendering methods of expression after struggling with restrictive, self-imposed binary presentation and freedom to explore ones own identity more authentically after steps of transition.
Personally, I feel this book was niche and focused, but in ready acknowledgment of that, it feels necessary and empowering to the transmasculine folks it resonates with, including myself. I think there is value enough in that.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

**HUGE thank you to Jessica Kingsley Publishers for granting me an eARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review!**

Ezra Woodger, a trans man, interviews other transmasculine people about their experiences, hopes, and ideas. Topics include representation in the media, unnecessarily gendered items, cis/heteronormativity, toxic masculinity, allyship, expression through makeup/hair/clothes, recovery from addiction, exploring sexuality, importance of community, privilege, acceptance, joy, disability, masculine femininity, feminism, intersectionality with race, fitness, financial insecurity in the LGBTQIA+ community, body positivity, burnout, dealing with transphobia, role models, theatre as a means for gender exploration, what it means to "pass," anger, mental health, tokenism, and prevalence of queer stories that only center suffering.

Rep: Edited by a queer trans man. Interviewees include trans men and transmasculine non-binary people. One interviewee is Asian and neurodivergent, one is Black, one self-identifies as a white-passing person of color, one self-identifies as Brown, and another uses a wheelchair.

Content warnings: Dysphoria, transphobia (including internalized), cyber bullying, toxic masculinity, addiction, divorce, childhood trauma, COVID-19 pandemic, racism, poverty/homelessness, surgery, depression and anxiety, brief references to hate crimes and violence against trans people

I loved this little anthology of trans joy! So many nonfiction works about being trans are written by cis people and/or created with a cis audience in mind. Instead, this one is entirely trans created and reads as a love letter to the trans community at large. But that's not to say that cisgender readers would feel alienated; in fact, I think everyone who identifies as cis needs to read this. It's both educational and fun. I'm glad that resources and footnotes are listed at the back!
Woodger interviews a makeup artist, musician/actor, writer/scientific researcher, poet/artist, personal trainer/nonprofit owner, artist/author/filmmaker, composer/theatre director, and activist. They were all so thoughtful, funny, and intelligent! I would have liked to read about a few more people who aren't in some form of the spotlight, but other than that, I don't have any critiques.