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mulberry down!!
"So a while back I got kind of annoyed at certain ubiquitous portal fantasy tropes—why do they always want to go back to where they came from? why do they always discard the other place at the total exclusion of going 'home' and why do they always find such easy stopgaps for the hole their elsewhere leaves in their hearts? and why the hell, for that matter, are they always, always kids?
"And because this is how I handle things that make me angry, I decided to story about it.
"Here it is."
"And because this is how I handle things that make me angry, I decided to story about it.
"Here it is."
- GenresFantasy
ebook
First published March 1, 2022
About the author
Nicole Kornher-Stace
24 books438 followersNicole Kornher-Stace lives in New Paltz, NY, with her family. Her two most recent books are the adult SF cyberpunk dystopian thriller FIREBREAK (Simon & Schuster/Gallery/Saga, 2021) and her middle-grade debut JILLIAN VS. PARASITE PLANET (Tachyon, 2021). Her other books include the Andre Norton Award finalist ARCHIVIST WASP (Small Beer Press/Big Mouth House, 2015) and its sequel LATCHKEY (Mythic Delirium, 2018), which are about a far-future postapocalyptic ghosthunter, the ghost of a near-future supersoldier, and their adventures in the underworld.
You can find her on Twitter @wirewalking, where she is probably semicoherently yelling about board games, video games, hiking, aromantic representation, good books she's read recently, or her cat.
For tons of book extras, deleted scenes, and subscriber exclusives, check out her Patreon, which is single-tier pay-what-you-want for all access to everything.
You can find her on Twitter @wirewalking, where she is probably semicoherently yelling about board games, video games, hiking, aromantic representation, good books she's read recently, or her cat.
For tons of book extras, deleted scenes, and subscriber exclusives, check out her Patreon, which is single-tier pay-what-you-want for all access to everything.
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
April 11, 2022
If portal fantasies speak to you in a deep way that you have no plans to outgrow, this story may have meaning for you. If you are its intended audience, the second person writing will hit you right in the feelings. I checked the rules and this story, published on the author's website, is definitely eligible for the 2023 Hugo for Best Novella. Although it is early in the year, I have trouble imagining that I will read 5 other novellas in 2022 that I love more than this one.
February 12, 2026
I live in longing, and it's no small part of that draws me to portal fantasies; the longing here—a second person narrative about a "you" haunted by dreams of another world and the other—is bitter and consuming, vengeful and weaponized, and profoundly evoking; I adored this, each word. Genre inversions are more common and less shocking than people writing those inversions seem to think; frankly, these themes are to some extent present in all portal fantasy; but who cares, because there's a reason the genre elicits them and I always crave more. The confrontational, internet speech-style and unusual address is vibrant, intrusive, and demanding, and this has teeth where other takes of the genre don't; call it wretched, wrenching.
... and it's kind of hilarious to read from within the alterhuman community, because ... I just know these people: parallel lives, hearthomes, soulbonds, we got it all, and in the protagonist's search for the explanations or even possible connection the oversight feels oddly glaring, which isn't how I normally feel when my little community of weirdos goes rightfully overlooked.
... and it's kind of hilarious to read from within the alterhuman community, because ... I just know these people: parallel lives, hearthomes, soulbonds, we got it all, and in the protagonist's search for the explanations or even possible connection the oversight feels oddly glaring, which isn't how I normally feel when my little community of weirdos goes rightfully overlooked.
June 22, 2022
Guh. What a total punch to the gut! Some random thoughts:
1. Second person. Ugh. It really takes some getting used to.
2. I don’t think this story would have neeeeearly the impact it does if it had been written in first or third instead.
3. I’m very little like the “you” here, and yet…I still really felt it.
4. I think probably most people can relate to yearning for a place/person of true belonging.
5. Dreams are weird.
1. Second person. Ugh. It really takes some getting used to.
2. I don’t think this story would have neeeeearly the impact it does if it had been written in first or third instead.
3. I’m very little like the “you” here, and yet…I still really felt it.
4. I think probably most people can relate to yearning for a place/person of true belonging.
5. Dreams are weird.
March 19, 2022
4.5 stars
April 15, 2022
WOW did I vibe with this!
I don't know if I'm the same kind of puzzle in the wrong box as the story, but yeah. Eff going back at the end of portal stories.
Best thing I've read so far in 2022.
I don't know if I'm the same kind of puzzle in the wrong box as the story, but yeah. Eff going back at the end of portal stories.
Best thing I've read so far in 2022.
June 25, 2022
Nicole, you've made me want to write again. Thank you.
November 29, 2023
I got my brain chemistry rewired forever after reading this. It truly captures the feeling of nostalgia and feeling like you don't belong. Made me cry several times in the time it took me to read it.
March 17, 2024
I've learned about this book via a Tumblr tournament of the "most unknown character" which surely is a crazy way of finding a story that changes your life but hey! If it's what brought me here, I'll gladly take it.
This story is truly, truly amazing. It's a balm for all the weird kids like myself who spend their childhood hoping they would find the magical portal to the magical place where everything would make sense, and that, much like the author, absolutely hated the stories where the lucky kid who found said magical portal would have to "grow up" and leave the magical place behind. I suppose it's also a balm for all those weird kids who grew up without ever letting go of that thought. Anyway, what I'm saying is that this story made me feel seen and understood and it was such a delight to read and I wish I could've spent more time in this universe.
OH! Edit to add that the second person POV was a genius move and made the story so much richer. I will always be a stark defender of second person POV.
This story is truly, truly amazing. It's a balm for all the weird kids like myself who spend their childhood hoping they would find the magical portal to the magical place where everything would make sense, and that, much like the author, absolutely hated the stories where the lucky kid who found said magical portal would have to "grow up" and leave the magical place behind. I suppose it's also a balm for all those weird kids who grew up without ever letting go of that thought. Anyway, what I'm saying is that this story made me feel seen and understood and it was such a delight to read and I wish I could've spent more time in this universe.
OH! Edit to add that the second person POV was a genius move and made the story so much richer. I will always be a stark defender of second person POV.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews