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Reclaiming Love
He'll risk it all for a new chance at life & love.
Kevin Stohler survived a violent and abusive relationship but escaped with a damaged psyche. Connor McCann walks into his life like a living dream. Kevin can't believe Connor is interested, but he agrees to a date. Connor proves to be patient, kind and truly interested.
Before they can enjoy life together, something has to be done about Kevin's ex, Josh Harding. Josh has stalked Kevin for three years, and the stalking escalates as Kevin's feelings for Connor grow. Kevin fears that loving Connor might kill him. It's a risk he's willing to take to reclaim a chance at love.
Kevin Stohler survived a violent and abusive relationship but escaped with a damaged psyche. Connor McCann walks into his life like a living dream. Kevin can't believe Connor is interested, but he agrees to a date. Connor proves to be patient, kind and truly interested.
Before they can enjoy life together, something has to be done about Kevin's ex, Josh Harding. Josh has stalked Kevin for three years, and the stalking escalates as Kevin's feelings for Connor grow. Kevin fears that loving Connor might kill him. It's a risk he's willing to take to reclaim a chance at love.
288 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2008
6 people are currently reading
318 people want to read
About the author
V.L. McElfresh
1 book8 followersV. L. McElfresh lives in central Missouri with her son and a neurotic Boston Terrier. She works in the computer industry during the day and writes every chance she gets. When not working or writing, she likes cooking, reading, knitting, and shopping for priceless antiques at the local flea market.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
October 21, 2018
Re-read September 2015 Well, the third re-read (yeah, I know...) left me cold. Kevin just bugged me this time. Time to put this one on the shelf permanently!
I read this initially back in 2011 and re-read it in April 2013. It was every bit as great as I remembered so I added it to my favorites shelf. It is 100% healing/comfort with MC Connor finding himself drawn to broken, devastated MC Kevin, who has been sexually, emotionally and physically abused by an old boyfriend who, after over 2 years, is still stalking him. Connor decides that Kevin is worth the extra effort a relationship with such a damaged person would entail before they even have their first date, so he is a true hero in every sense of the word. He quickly falls in love with sweet Kevin and the two of them work together (along with Kevin's surrogate family) to battle Kevin's demons.
I can highly recommend this book to all M/M romance fans who like a healthy dose of hurt/healing/comfort in their romance. You'll love this one.
I read this initially back in 2011 and re-read it in April 2013. It was every bit as great as I remembered so I added it to my favorites shelf. It is 100% healing/comfort with MC Connor finding himself drawn to broken, devastated MC Kevin, who has been sexually, emotionally and physically abused by an old boyfriend who, after over 2 years, is still stalking him. Connor decides that Kevin is worth the extra effort a relationship with such a damaged person would entail before they even have their first date, so he is a true hero in every sense of the word. He quickly falls in love with sweet Kevin and the two of them work together (along with Kevin's surrogate family) to battle Kevin's demons.
I can highly recommend this book to all M/M romance fans who like a healthy dose of hurt/healing/comfort in their romance. You'll love this one.
October 3, 2015
1.5 stars rounded up because of the subject matter and because this is a brand new writer.
This book really frustrated me. I do understand why people would like this book if they just read it quickly and didn't think too much about it. I wanted to like it as the plot and subject are my thing. But it was awful on so many levels I couldn't. Note to author: Please don't take this personally. I do think you have talent, and should keep writing.
The positives were the attempt at handling such a difficult and emotionally charged subject. The awareness of how much abuse affects someone, how someone can emotionally control someone they abused, understanding why someone would go back, things like that. I also really appreciated the attempt to separate the abuse from BDSM, which is an important distinction that a lot of people don't get. I like that BDSM is treated respectfully.
The biggest problem for me was that the characters were all Kevin-absorbed people who controlled everything about Kevin without helping him get better nor helping him help himself. What they did was actually holding him back. Kevin was okay, but the characterization was so inconsistent and so wrong, that I couldn't even care about him. This is not how people in real life would act under the same situation. I'm a foster parent and have been around a lot of abused kids and I've been around a lot of abused adults, and Kevin's behavior sometimes makes sense but most of the time doesn't. His reactions aren't even consistent with his other reactions. He can joke about punishment in one scene and then be terrified about it in another.
But the friends? Oh my God, I wanted to strangle them all. The old saying "With friends like these..." applies here. His friends were so rude and pushy to Connor that most normal people would have been scared off, but not because they didn't want to deal with Kevin's issues. He didn't even get a chance to know what they were. A normal person would have been afraid that if it didn't work out after a couple of dates, the friends would come for him or he himself would have scarred Kevin for life. Connor at one point even says, "You act like I want to marry him." Yes, they did. It was ridiculous.
But that isn't the worst of it. Kevin is interested in Connor and has been on TWO dates. Then Kevin's best friend then sits Connor down and tells him all about Kevin's abuse, without even asking Kevin or letting him know. Picture it: Think about something really personal that hurts or that you feel people won't understand. Picture meeting someone a couple of times and being interested in them, really interested. Then imagine your best friend sitting down with that person, behind your back, and telling him/her about that private stuff IN DETAIL. Wouldn't you feel violated? Now picture that your secret (assuming it wasn't) was violent sexual, psychological, emotional abuse that still affects everything in your life, but you hate it, and are desperately trying to come out of it. Would you want that to be the first thing you want your date to know about you? Would you want someone else to tell him/her without you even being there to control the conversation?
People who have been sexually abused almost always are ashamed in some way. Even though it is never their fault, there is a lot of stigma and a lot of self doubt, believing they could have done something to prevent it. Someone who is an adult who is abused by his partner who he stayed with for two years, is going to feel that for sure. Add in that he is told repeatedly that he deserved it by people who don't know him, that he is supposed to like pain, that he's in the gay community where people believe abused doesn't happen, he's a man, which society thinks can't be abused, and he's going to be ashamed. He can't find anyone to help him (which I'll get to in a moment). No one but his closest friends believe him. He has no family support. He is still stalked and harassed by the guy. He would not be in a mental place for everyone to know about his abuse. Yet he tells Connor even more on the third date once he finds out that the friend already told Connor. He's not mad at all, nor does he act like it bothers him in the least.
But people had no problem talking about it and on top of that, they were treating him like a child. Connor called Kevin's other best friend without letting Kevin know even though Kevin didn't even want to even talk about that friend with Connor. That friend considered himself Kevin's shrink and yet talked to Connor about Kevin openly and both felt they shouldn't let Kevin know. At one point he even says, "Without violating confidences..." and proceeds to tell Connor personal stuff about Kevin. The man is a professional psychiatrist. If he did that about a patient he would lose his license. it would be so ingrained in him that there is no way he would do that. At one point near the end (medium/big spoiler) and he was a grown adult.
Then there was sweet Connor, the kind of guy who comes across as the nicest guy in the world until you look at him closely. He was a control freak. On the second date, took took the envelope that had been slid under Kevin's door and just opened it while Kevin was in the other room. Someone else's mail he didn't even know yet. Just opened it. And Kevin didn't get upset! At one point Kevin is pratically catatonic and doesn't want to talk to the police. Even his friends get that, but Connor tells him and the officer that yes, Kevin will talk to him. He then leaves Kevin to do so. He doesn't try to reassure Kevin that maybe he can. He doesn't try to stay holding him while he talks. He doesn't try to see if the statement can wait a bit so he can figure out what the hell is wrong with Kevin at that moment.
Until the last 20% or so, he never praises Kevin without prompting, and even then they were backhanded. For example, Kevin jokes about his penis being small. Connor looks at it and sees it's actually perfectly average, maybe even a little thick. After sex, he says to Kevin something like, "It doesn't matter if it's small, it's what you do with it." He should have said off the bat that Kevin's penis was perfect. The complement after was fine except he was implying that Kevin's penis is, indeed, small.
Kevin is convinced he's fat. He's a guy who exercises every morning and barely eats anything. When Kevin looks at him he thinks to himself that Kevin's only flaw is that he has a little bit of "flab" around his middle, "if you could call it that." So it's a flaw, even though you couldn't really even call it flab? (And how does Kevin have that when he has to be told to eat?) But he just tells Kevin how hard his butt and thights and something else are. He should have said, "You're perfect just the way you are." He should have said, "You're not fat, but even if you were, I would care about you anyway." But no. He doesn't even tell Kevin he's beautiful until near the end.
Another time, Kevin is in his house with almost no clothing. Connor comes home and Kevin is wearing his bathrobe. Kevin apologizes for wearing it and Connor says, "That's okay, I didn't really like it anyway." Seriously? Not, "You can wear anything of mine"? Or "I like you in my clothes," or even "That's fine, whatever you need," or something like that? No. It's okay because he didn't really like it, implying that if he did like it, then it wouldn't have been okay. Yes, I see this is a tiny thing, but when Connor always reacts like this instead of immediately being reassuring and kind and loving, it adds up. At one point Connor tells Kevin to look at him. Kevin doesn't, so Connor adds "command" to his voice. Command? He thinks that he should command an abused man to do anything? He doesn't just say, "Please?"
Then there was the fact that he never respected Kevin's wishes until finally he listens when Kevin tells him (medium big spoiler) .
But one of the things that really irritated the hell out of me was that the homophobia was over the top and completely unbelievable. This takes place in a big city with a gay community big enough to have gay neighborhoods, multiple gay bars, activities, and groups. But everyone in the book hates gays except his friends and other lgtb folks. Closer to the end there is one doctor who knows Kevin who is nice, but other than that? Even though Kevin was found nearly dead in his boyfriends house, there is tons of evidence including DNA, the police say it's his word against his ex's and laugh at him. They won't allow a restraining order. Even when he finds one cop who will listen (small spoiler) and says that getting the rest of the force to listen in this situation will be a struggle. This isn't about the man being gay. This isn't about him being raped or sexually abused. This is a man who nearly died. Even the most homophobic police force (I'm not talking about a tiny town of 1,000 people) would do something if just to prevent lawsuits. There is no way this is the first time such a thing has happened nor the last. This isn't 1995. This book takes place now.
A nurse in the hospital back when he was nearly dead said to his face in front of witnesses that fags like him deserve it. Seriously? I can see whispering it and being overheard. I can possibly see her saying something to him when no one else was around. But not with witnesses in her place of work where they know who she is and she could be fire. Again, this is a big city. This is a person who takes care of people for a living. She works in an ER, not a family practice or up on a geriatric or maternity ward. She's there to help people. She would not tell someone who is nearly dead that he deserved it. Even the most homophobic people don't usually think that someone deserves to be beaten to death. They just want them to be gone, or to stop, or be in jail. Even if they do want gays killed, to say that in a public place in front of witnesses? Gay bashing takes place in groups, where group mentality kicks in, or it happens in back alleys, or in corn fields, not in the middle of a busy ER. She would know that she be fired even if only because lawsuits. Hell, even the NFL fired a guy a few years ago for Twittering something anti-gay.
Another time, while Kevin was getting attacked on a public street in the gay district>, someone walked by and says, "fucking fags." The counselor he went to after the attack had a problem with his sexuality. Who would recommend a counselor to him that was homophobic? The number of counselors who would be stupid enough to make it clear to a patient that they weren't okay with their sexual orientation is small (because they could lose their license) and he just happens to get that one? While in the hospital, the social worker doesn't suggest a counselor who would be able to work with a male victim of abuse? Oh wait, the social worker was homophobic, too. I forgot. I'm not saying these things never happen. I'm saying that this level of homophobia being everywhere he turned, not being able to find a single person willing to help him, just doesn't happen in big cities in this day and age. It can't. The majority of people in the US are pro gay marriage. Vastly more than that don't have a problem with gay people. Peer pressure is affective. So is being exposed to gay people. I even did some research on St. Louis, where this takes place, and it's no different from any other big city.
Such shock tactics make people not understand systemic homophobia. It's unrealistic in a big city with big gay community and people aren't going to be able to connect this kind of thing with their own lives. "I would never do that, nor would anyone I know, so we're not homophobic at all." They think that all gay people have to do is report these things and it will all be fine. Most homophobia isn't like that. It's smaller things that make people feel unwelcome or unwanted. Being stared at. People rolling their eyes, or downplaying things that are important. Making assumptions about what someone would or wouldn't do. Not getting the best service. Having to work a little harder. Not being hired. Not having the same rights, like not being able to adopt or get married.
Then there was the poor writing. The staccato sentences: He did this. They did that. This was here. That was there. They were this. Then went that way. The MASSIVE info dumps, especially about Kevin's past. That kind of thing should be revealed in pieces, not all at once over several pages with one character telling another without the abused party even there. Then there were the excessive descriptions. I don't care what steps they took to do each thing. I don't care about every single piece of furniture and wall hanging.
I especially don't care about the female best friend's clothing and hairstyles even though the first five or six times we see her, we are told in great detail what she is wearing and how her hair is styled. We only see what the MCs are wearing once or twice. I don't think we're ever told what color Kevin's hair is, just that he once had it rainbow colored. But this girl's entire outfit, and I mean shoes, skirt, leggings, shirt, jewelry, etc., her hair color and how it's styled, are all made very clear. I do not need that kind of detail in an M/F story. In an M/M story, I just don't care, especially, when we know far more about what she looks like than anyone else in the story. It's obvious that she was one of the author's favorite characters, if not the favorite, and we are supposed to love her, too. But she's not original, and although I usually love that kind of goth girl, I didn't like her at all.
Even the BDSM was off and on. Some seemed really accurate like the author knew first hand, and other stuff was strangely off. From what I've read, a sub who was collared would not beg another Dom to whip him, not in front of his own Dom who was possessive, controlling, and abusive, not without asking. The whole point of being collared is that you're saying you belong to that Dom and no one else, right?
I think this book would have been helped by a good content editor, particularly someone with knowledge of psychological issues, and a rewrite that toned down the extremes. Since this is the first book by the author, I'm making allowances and would consider reading something else from her.
This book really frustrated me. I do understand why people would like this book if they just read it quickly and didn't think too much about it. I wanted to like it as the plot and subject are my thing. But it was awful on so many levels I couldn't. Note to author: Please don't take this personally. I do think you have talent, and should keep writing.
The positives were the attempt at handling such a difficult and emotionally charged subject. The awareness of how much abuse affects someone, how someone can emotionally control someone they abused, understanding why someone would go back, things like that. I also really appreciated the attempt to separate the abuse from BDSM, which is an important distinction that a lot of people don't get. I like that BDSM is treated respectfully.
The biggest problem for me was that the characters were all Kevin-absorbed people who controlled everything about Kevin without helping him get better nor helping him help himself. What they did was actually holding him back. Kevin was okay, but the characterization was so inconsistent and so wrong, that I couldn't even care about him. This is not how people in real life would act under the same situation. I'm a foster parent and have been around a lot of abused kids and I've been around a lot of abused adults, and Kevin's behavior sometimes makes sense but most of the time doesn't. His reactions aren't even consistent with his other reactions. He can joke about punishment in one scene and then be terrified about it in another.
But the friends? Oh my God, I wanted to strangle them all. The old saying "With friends like these..." applies here. His friends were so rude and pushy to Connor that most normal people would have been scared off, but not because they didn't want to deal with Kevin's issues. He didn't even get a chance to know what they were. A normal person would have been afraid that if it didn't work out after a couple of dates, the friends would come for him or he himself would have scarred Kevin for life. Connor at one point even says, "You act like I want to marry him." Yes, they did. It was ridiculous.
But that isn't the worst of it. Kevin is interested in Connor and has been on TWO dates. Then Kevin's best friend then sits Connor down and tells him all about Kevin's abuse, without even asking Kevin or letting him know. Picture it: Think about something really personal that hurts or that you feel people won't understand. Picture meeting someone a couple of times and being interested in them, really interested. Then imagine your best friend sitting down with that person, behind your back, and telling him/her about that private stuff IN DETAIL. Wouldn't you feel violated? Now picture that your secret (assuming it wasn't) was violent sexual, psychological, emotional abuse that still affects everything in your life, but you hate it, and are desperately trying to come out of it. Would you want that to be the first thing you want your date to know about you? Would you want someone else to tell him/her without you even being there to control the conversation?
People who have been sexually abused almost always are ashamed in some way. Even though it is never their fault, there is a lot of stigma and a lot of self doubt, believing they could have done something to prevent it. Someone who is an adult who is abused by his partner who he stayed with for two years, is going to feel that for sure. Add in that he is told repeatedly that he deserved it by people who don't know him, that he is supposed to like pain, that he's in the gay community where people believe abused doesn't happen, he's a man, which society thinks can't be abused, and he's going to be ashamed. He can't find anyone to help him (which I'll get to in a moment). No one but his closest friends believe him. He has no family support. He is still stalked and harassed by the guy. He would not be in a mental place for everyone to know about his abuse. Yet he tells Connor even more on the third date once he finds out that the friend already told Connor. He's not mad at all, nor does he act like it bothers him in the least.
But people had no problem talking about it and on top of that, they were treating him like a child. Connor called Kevin's other best friend without letting Kevin know even though Kevin didn't even want to even talk about that friend with Connor. That friend considered himself Kevin's shrink and yet talked to Connor about Kevin openly and both felt they shouldn't let Kevin know. At one point he even says, "Without violating confidences..." and proceeds to tell Connor personal stuff about Kevin. The man is a professional psychiatrist. If he did that about a patient he would lose his license. it would be so ingrained in him that there is no way he would do that. At one point near the end (medium/big spoiler) and he was a grown adult.
Then there was sweet Connor, the kind of guy who comes across as the nicest guy in the world until you look at him closely. He was a control freak. On the second date, took took the envelope that had been slid under Kevin's door and just opened it while Kevin was in the other room. Someone else's mail he didn't even know yet. Just opened it. And Kevin didn't get upset! At one point Kevin is pratically catatonic and doesn't want to talk to the police. Even his friends get that, but Connor tells him and the officer that yes, Kevin will talk to him. He then leaves Kevin to do so. He doesn't try to reassure Kevin that maybe he can. He doesn't try to stay holding him while he talks. He doesn't try to see if the statement can wait a bit so he can figure out what the hell is wrong with Kevin at that moment.
Until the last 20% or so, he never praises Kevin without prompting, and even then they were backhanded. For example, Kevin jokes about his penis being small. Connor looks at it and sees it's actually perfectly average, maybe even a little thick. After sex, he says to Kevin something like, "It doesn't matter if it's small, it's what you do with it." He should have said off the bat that Kevin's penis was perfect. The complement after was fine except he was implying that Kevin's penis is, indeed, small.
Kevin is convinced he's fat. He's a guy who exercises every morning and barely eats anything. When Kevin looks at him he thinks to himself that Kevin's only flaw is that he has a little bit of "flab" around his middle, "if you could call it that." So it's a flaw, even though you couldn't really even call it flab? (And how does Kevin have that when he has to be told to eat?) But he just tells Kevin how hard his butt and thights and something else are. He should have said, "You're perfect just the way you are." He should have said, "You're not fat, but even if you were, I would care about you anyway." But no. He doesn't even tell Kevin he's beautiful until near the end.
Another time, Kevin is in his house with almost no clothing. Connor comes home and Kevin is wearing his bathrobe. Kevin apologizes for wearing it and Connor says, "That's okay, I didn't really like it anyway." Seriously? Not, "You can wear anything of mine"? Or "I like you in my clothes," or even "That's fine, whatever you need," or something like that? No. It's okay because he didn't really like it, implying that if he did like it, then it wouldn't have been okay. Yes, I see this is a tiny thing, but when Connor always reacts like this instead of immediately being reassuring and kind and loving, it adds up. At one point Connor tells Kevin to look at him. Kevin doesn't, so Connor adds "command" to his voice. Command? He thinks that he should command an abused man to do anything? He doesn't just say, "Please?"
Then there was the fact that he never respected Kevin's wishes until finally he listens when Kevin tells him (medium big spoiler) .
But one of the things that really irritated the hell out of me was that the homophobia was over the top and completely unbelievable. This takes place in a big city with a gay community big enough to have gay neighborhoods, multiple gay bars, activities, and groups. But everyone in the book hates gays except his friends and other lgtb folks. Closer to the end there is one doctor who knows Kevin who is nice, but other than that? Even though Kevin was found nearly dead in his boyfriends house, there is tons of evidence including DNA, the police say it's his word against his ex's and laugh at him. They won't allow a restraining order. Even when he finds one cop who will listen (small spoiler) and says that getting the rest of the force to listen in this situation will be a struggle. This isn't about the man being gay. This isn't about him being raped or sexually abused. This is a man who nearly died. Even the most homophobic police force (I'm not talking about a tiny town of 1,000 people) would do something if just to prevent lawsuits. There is no way this is the first time such a thing has happened nor the last. This isn't 1995. This book takes place now.
A nurse in the hospital back when he was nearly dead said to his face in front of witnesses that fags like him deserve it. Seriously? I can see whispering it and being overheard. I can possibly see her saying something to him when no one else was around. But not with witnesses in her place of work where they know who she is and she could be fire. Again, this is a big city. This is a person who takes care of people for a living. She works in an ER, not a family practice or up on a geriatric or maternity ward. She's there to help people. She would not tell someone who is nearly dead that he deserved it. Even the most homophobic people don't usually think that someone deserves to be beaten to death. They just want them to be gone, or to stop, or be in jail. Even if they do want gays killed, to say that in a public place in front of witnesses? Gay bashing takes place in groups, where group mentality kicks in, or it happens in back alleys, or in corn fields, not in the middle of a busy ER. She would know that she be fired even if only because lawsuits. Hell, even the NFL fired a guy a few years ago for Twittering something anti-gay.
Another time, while Kevin was getting attacked on a public street in the gay district>, someone walked by and says, "fucking fags." The counselor he went to after the attack had a problem with his sexuality. Who would recommend a counselor to him that was homophobic? The number of counselors who would be stupid enough to make it clear to a patient that they weren't okay with their sexual orientation is small (because they could lose their license) and he just happens to get that one? While in the hospital, the social worker doesn't suggest a counselor who would be able to work with a male victim of abuse? Oh wait, the social worker was homophobic, too. I forgot. I'm not saying these things never happen. I'm saying that this level of homophobia being everywhere he turned, not being able to find a single person willing to help him, just doesn't happen in big cities in this day and age. It can't. The majority of people in the US are pro gay marriage. Vastly more than that don't have a problem with gay people. Peer pressure is affective. So is being exposed to gay people. I even did some research on St. Louis, where this takes place, and it's no different from any other big city.
Such shock tactics make people not understand systemic homophobia. It's unrealistic in a big city with big gay community and people aren't going to be able to connect this kind of thing with their own lives. "I would never do that, nor would anyone I know, so we're not homophobic at all." They think that all gay people have to do is report these things and it will all be fine. Most homophobia isn't like that. It's smaller things that make people feel unwelcome or unwanted. Being stared at. People rolling their eyes, or downplaying things that are important. Making assumptions about what someone would or wouldn't do. Not getting the best service. Having to work a little harder. Not being hired. Not having the same rights, like not being able to adopt or get married.
Then there was the poor writing. The staccato sentences: He did this. They did that. This was here. That was there. They were this. Then went that way. The MASSIVE info dumps, especially about Kevin's past. That kind of thing should be revealed in pieces, not all at once over several pages with one character telling another without the abused party even there. Then there were the excessive descriptions. I don't care what steps they took to do each thing. I don't care about every single piece of furniture and wall hanging.
I especially don't care about the female best friend's clothing and hairstyles even though the first five or six times we see her, we are told in great detail what she is wearing and how her hair is styled. We only see what the MCs are wearing once or twice. I don't think we're ever told what color Kevin's hair is, just that he once had it rainbow colored. But this girl's entire outfit, and I mean shoes, skirt, leggings, shirt, jewelry, etc., her hair color and how it's styled, are all made very clear. I do not need that kind of detail in an M/F story. In an M/M story, I just don't care, especially, when we know far more about what she looks like than anyone else in the story. It's obvious that she was one of the author's favorite characters, if not the favorite, and we are supposed to love her, too. But she's not original, and although I usually love that kind of goth girl, I didn't like her at all.
Even the BDSM was off and on. Some seemed really accurate like the author knew first hand, and other stuff was strangely off. From what I've read, a sub who was collared would not beg another Dom to whip him, not in front of his own Dom who was possessive, controlling, and abusive, not without asking. The whole point of being collared is that you're saying you belong to that Dom and no one else, right?
I think this book would have been helped by a good content editor, particularly someone with knowledge of psychological issues, and a rewrite that toned down the extremes. Since this is the first book by the author, I'm making allowances and would consider reading something else from her.
February 15, 2016
3.75 stars- I apparently have a thing for hurt/comfort...especially if there is some sort of domestic violence. Hey some folks like tentaclesex...I likes me victims. ;D
This was...good. It's about an abused submissive, Kevin, who is still stalked by his abusive ex-boyfriend Dom, Josh. Kevin is constantly in fear, afraid of a lot of things (ex. phone calls, letters, men, etc.) and it was believable.
Kevin has understandable issues and hang-ups. He catches the eye of sexy blonde Irish implant, Connor McCann. He's nicknamed the "Golden God" & for good reason. The story is all about Kevin and his path to relearning to love himself. I wished the POV was switched to get Connor's perspective. The two men fall for one another without miraculous cures with magical penises. :-o Consider me shocked. And these two fall in love all while Josh, the crazy ex stalker...stalks and escalates to crazy land.
Josh...I'd like to be locked in a room with him and a metal baseball bat. I'd love to crack some nuts. He's a mean mofo that needs to be taught a lesson. On the other hand, the scenes with his antics were more memorable for me than some of the gooey gushy moments.
With a great support of friends, Kevin finds his way out of his dark hole. Yay.
Thing is I lost interest around 80%. *shrugs* Can't pinpoint the moment and I'm not going to figure it out. Could've have been the 'idiot girl who knows there's a murderer on the loose but the dumb broad goes in the woods anyway by herself moment'. Just switch the idiot girl with Kevin. But he got over it, I guess.
And then I skimmed the last 10% because I wanted off the Poor Kevin float. I got motion sickness or something.
There was a happy ending, evil was vanquished. Love persevered. It's a good story with interesting enough characters. I wish we got more face time with Dr. Devon, the Dom shrink. He definitely had MC potential.
I still say it's readable. My reaction towards the ending shouldn't discourage.
This was...good. It's about an abused submissive, Kevin, who is still stalked by his abusive ex-boyfriend Dom, Josh. Kevin is constantly in fear, afraid of a lot of things (ex. phone calls, letters, men, etc.) and it was believable.
Kevin has understandable issues and hang-ups. He catches the eye of sexy blonde Irish implant, Connor McCann. He's nicknamed the "Golden God" & for good reason. The story is all about Kevin and his path to relearning to love himself. I wished the POV was switched to get Connor's perspective. The two men fall for one another without miraculous cures with magical penises. :-o Consider me shocked. And these two fall in love all while Josh, the crazy ex stalker...stalks and escalates to crazy land.
Josh...I'd like to be locked in a room with him and a metal baseball bat. I'd love to crack some nuts. He's a mean mofo that needs to be taught a lesson. On the other hand, the scenes with his antics were more memorable for me than some of the gooey gushy moments.
With a great support of friends, Kevin finds his way out of his dark hole. Yay.
Thing is I lost interest around 80%. *shrugs* Can't pinpoint the moment and I'm not going to figure it out. Could've have been the 'idiot girl who knows there's a murderer on the loose but the dumb broad goes in the woods anyway by herself moment'. Just switch the idiot girl with Kevin. But he got over it, I guess.
And then I skimmed the last 10% because I wanted off the Poor Kevin float. I got motion sickness or something.
There was a happy ending, evil was vanquished. Love persevered. It's a good story with interesting enough characters. I wish we got more face time with Dr. Devon, the Dom shrink. He definitely had MC potential.
I still say it's readable. My reaction towards the ending shouldn't discourage.
Read
May 14, 2009The book starts with a frightend Kevin, a thirty old guy who can't bear to stay alone at home. He clings to a linus blanket, he tries to create "rumor" around the apartment to avoid the silence, he makes call to friends. Since the first pages the reader realizes that Kevin is a traumatized man who hasn't yet overcome his nightmare. Three years before Kevin was in a D/s relationship with a Dom who didn't respect the boundaries they agreed, and this sent Kevin to the hospital near dead. Now he is trying to rebuild his life, but his former Master doesn't give up and uses any means to scared him and at the same time begs him to come back. Without the help of his friends, a roommate who is almost a brother, a best girl friend like a substitute mother and a former lover now counselor like second father, Kevin has good chance to success.
Now enter Saint Connor; saint is the only word to describe this man, tender and caring and with too much patience. Have you present that story where everyone knows the secret of one of the main characters, but they spend all the story refusing to reveal it since it's not their right to? Usually they give hints and pushes the poor man in front of them in a abyss of total confusion letting him wondering what atrocity they are hiding? Well forget any of that. Here everyone, from the roommate to the best friend, till the owner of the local bookstore, all are ready to spill the true about Kevin's past and to warn off Connor. The poor man can't even talk to Kevin, that they are telling him that Kevin is fragile, that he probably is not ready for a sexual relationship, and Connor has not yet kiss him! A man with less patience would give up as soon as possible and instead Saint Connor smiles and vows Kevin. When the crazy man who is stalking Kevin, begins to threaten also him, he simple shrug his shoulder and ask Kevin if he is all right. When Kevin becomes a icicle the first time they try something in bed, Connor rises and goes for a cold shower. When all around him seems to collapse in nonsense, the 39 years old Connor takes the phone and calls... his DAD! Connor always does the right thing.
Connor is obviously a good man, but I like that he is not the macho man hero type. In a classical romance, poor Kevin would be rescued by the average knight in shining armour, proud and brave. It's not that Connor is not brave, but he is simple a man; he doesn't set up a show where he "magically" makes disappear all the trouble, he simple gives to Kevin another shoulder to lean when he needs to. He is willing to help, but he will not "resolve" all Kevin's trouble only due to his powerful charm. It's Kevin's task, and right, to learn how to be independent again.
Kevin is a trouble young man. He had obviously difficult childhood, with a mother who pushed him beyond his limits, and who instilled in him a feeling of never being good enough, and a father who probably was too weak to impose; Kevin's father loved him, but he probably was not the authoritative figure Kevin needed, and Kevin searched that figure in other men, like his friend Devon, and finally in his abusive former lover. Now Kevin, to be happy again, needs to realize that he is strong enough even alone; and Connor is good to him since he doesn't try to overprotect him, but he let him space to move, fall and arise again.
The book is quite angst, there are very few light moment, but even if not often, I like the impish streak that the author gave to Kevin. I also like the anti-hero character she created with Connor, handsome and gentle, but not perfect.
http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/42...
Now enter Saint Connor; saint is the only word to describe this man, tender and caring and with too much patience. Have you present that story where everyone knows the secret of one of the main characters, but they spend all the story refusing to reveal it since it's not their right to? Usually they give hints and pushes the poor man in front of them in a abyss of total confusion letting him wondering what atrocity they are hiding? Well forget any of that. Here everyone, from the roommate to the best friend, till the owner of the local bookstore, all are ready to spill the true about Kevin's past and to warn off Connor. The poor man can't even talk to Kevin, that they are telling him that Kevin is fragile, that he probably is not ready for a sexual relationship, and Connor has not yet kiss him! A man with less patience would give up as soon as possible and instead Saint Connor smiles and vows Kevin. When the crazy man who is stalking Kevin, begins to threaten also him, he simple shrug his shoulder and ask Kevin if he is all right. When Kevin becomes a icicle the first time they try something in bed, Connor rises and goes for a cold shower. When all around him seems to collapse in nonsense, the 39 years old Connor takes the phone and calls... his DAD! Connor always does the right thing.
Connor is obviously a good man, but I like that he is not the macho man hero type. In a classical romance, poor Kevin would be rescued by the average knight in shining armour, proud and brave. It's not that Connor is not brave, but he is simple a man; he doesn't set up a show where he "magically" makes disappear all the trouble, he simple gives to Kevin another shoulder to lean when he needs to. He is willing to help, but he will not "resolve" all Kevin's trouble only due to his powerful charm. It's Kevin's task, and right, to learn how to be independent again.
Kevin is a trouble young man. He had obviously difficult childhood, with a mother who pushed him beyond his limits, and who instilled in him a feeling of never being good enough, and a father who probably was too weak to impose; Kevin's father loved him, but he probably was not the authoritative figure Kevin needed, and Kevin searched that figure in other men, like his friend Devon, and finally in his abusive former lover. Now Kevin, to be happy again, needs to realize that he is strong enough even alone; and Connor is good to him since he doesn't try to overprotect him, but he let him space to move, fall and arise again.
The book is quite angst, there are very few light moment, but even if not often, I like the impish streak that the author gave to Kevin. I also like the anti-hero character she created with Connor, handsome and gentle, but not perfect.
http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/42...
March 30, 2014
I was debating between a 4 and 5, but I think I have to make it a 5 star read from me.
I BELIEVED Kevin. It wasn't a quick "recovery", it was slow and he's still not healed, but a work in progress.
Kevin was a in 2 year D/s relationship with Josh, his "dom". I put that in quotes because he was only acting like one. He was an abuser. Plain and simple. He emotionally, physically, and sexually abused Kevin. As like most relationships it started out wonderful and then things escalated. For Kevin to retell everything that happened to him had me curled up in a ball with a handful of tissues and a soaking wet pillow. He finally got beat hard enough and left for dead when his friends stepped in and said NO MORE! It's been 3 years since he left that house and relationship.
But, Josh couldn't leave well enough alone. He's stalked Kevin since he left. Sent letters, always calls, sends packages, but Kevin doesn't acknowledge any of it.
One day while at Left Bank Books (my FAVORITE book store, by the way! I am a frequent buyer at the location in the book :) when the "Golden God" approaches him. Kevin is still so scared he runs away. That doesn't stop Connor, the Golden God. With a little help from Kevin's friend, Nicki, they meet up for a date. Connor is so good for Kevin. He's so patient and calm. EEK! I loved him.
Josh doesn't like that. Josh thinks Kevin is his and only his.
Will Kevin be able to trust another man again? Does Connor think all of this trouble with Kevin worth it? Will Josh finally leave Kevin alone?
Quick note: I loved that this was in St. Louis. I knew the places they were talking about and it could picture it more in my head :)
September 15, 2012
Kevin has spent the last three years trying to heal from an abusive relationship. He had agreed to be collared by Josh Harding but instead of a safe and consensual D/s relationship he found himself owned by a man who disregarded his safewords and took pleasure in abuse. Kevin only got out when he was injured badly enough to be hospitalized. He has lost trust both in other men and in his own attractiveness and worth. But he has good friends who have been supporting him, and when he meets a handsome man in a bookstore he has enough courage to agree to a date. Well, at least when his best friend Nicki pushes him into it.
Connor is six months out from a bad break-up and adrift in a new city when he sees Kevin and is immediately attracted to him. But he soon finds out that getting to know Kevin won't be straightforward, and developing a relationship will take time.
Josh has been harassing and stalking Kevin at a distance for years, but when he sees Kevin with another man, the stalking escalates to dangerous levels.
The relationship between Kevin and Connor develops fast, particularly on Connor's part. He steps up to the plate in some major ways for someone he has just met. And there were a few times when Kevin confided his past to Connor in ways that seemed extraordinary for a man with his history and self-worth issues. But it was a generally well done hurt/comfort abuse/stalker story, and both Connor and Kevin were very likable MCs.
Connor is six months out from a bad break-up and adrift in a new city when he sees Kevin and is immediately attracted to him. But he soon finds out that getting to know Kevin won't be straightforward, and developing a relationship will take time.
Josh has been harassing and stalking Kevin at a distance for years, but when he sees Kevin with another man, the stalking escalates to dangerous levels.
The relationship between Kevin and Connor develops fast, particularly on Connor's part. He steps up to the plate in some major ways for someone he has just met. And there were a few times when Kevin confided his past to Connor in ways that seemed extraordinary for a man with his history and self-worth issues. But it was a generally well done hurt/comfort abuse/stalker story, and both Connor and Kevin were very likable MCs.
September 4, 2013
"Reclaiming Love" pulls the reader in with the richness of the writing, leading them along one man's journey out of darkness to find hope and love again.
Three years out of a relationship where he was forced to be little more than a slave Kevin still struggles every day. While he has experienced the good in a BDSM relationship he never wanted the full-time thing. Yet that was the relationship he found himself in with his ex Josh. After numerous hospital visits Kevin's friends finally managed to get him away. Now three years later, that relationship just won't leave him. Josh always seems to know when Kevin is alone and taunts him regularly; calling, sending messages, always claiming that Josh still loves him and wants him back. Kevin is struggling to get by, to heal, with the constant reminders of his past mistakes. His self-esteem is at rock bottom and he is scared to be alone.
Connor has gone into the local bookstore for a few books, but finds himself unable to take his eyes of the man snuggled in a chair, enraptured in his book. He's helpless to do anything but try to find out who he is. At Connor's approach, despite being enchanted himself, Kevin's nerves get the best of him and he runs from the store. Picking up the book Kevin was reading Connor realizes he was the author and in talking with the store owner, knows he has a way back in to get to know Kevin.
With a little "help" (a good solid shove for Kevin and a few strong warnings for Connor) from Kevin's friends this story rolls into a beautiful path of discovery. As Kevin begins to open up and find himself again, Connor has to deal with his own feelings about what happened to Kevin. All the while Kevin's ex's taunts get worse and worse.
This story has a beautiful message about trusting yourself and that you can find love again. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Ms. McElfresh didn't instantly make Kevin better as soon as he met Connor. He has a lot of issues and things he's trying to work through. None of them are going to go away over night. But, having that person who loves you despite everything is certain to help you along your path.
In spite of the almost insta-love, or maybe just insta-attraction/addiction of this book I enjoyed the way that Connor and Kevin's relationship developed over time. Each new issue was addressed and dealt with in an understandable manner. They weren't glossed over. I felt for Kevin and was rooting for him to be able to move forward in his life. I respected Connor for not running when things got heavy and for trying to understand what all Kevin was dealing with.
There were some extremely sweet moments and relationships in this book. First of all, the dancing! Great scene, I almost felt bad for Connor. I particularly enjoyed Kevin and Devon's relationship. It was so well handled. Devon being someone who was into the lifestyle that Kevin as running from, but had all the tools to be able to help him, added a lovely layer to everything. I can easily imagine Kevin curled in a chair in the dark calling Devon for comfort even if he is terrified to be around the man. The complexities of that relationship really added to Kevin for me.
The pressure cooker that Josh's antics put Kevin and Connor under really helped move the story along. It added the perfect compliment to take this from being an average story of two men meeting into a fabulously engrossing novel. While the abusive elements might not make this book for everyone I do love a novel that can show me the brighter side of all that pain. Ms. McElfresh didn't gloss over the darker elements, but she didn't dwell on them either. She maintained a lovely blend that gives the reader all the understanding that is needed to identify with her characters without drowning them in Kevin's depressing painful past. There's such hope for Kevin's redemption in the epilogue you can do nothing but know that these two got the happily ever after they deserve.
Three years out of a relationship where he was forced to be little more than a slave Kevin still struggles every day. While he has experienced the good in a BDSM relationship he never wanted the full-time thing. Yet that was the relationship he found himself in with his ex Josh. After numerous hospital visits Kevin's friends finally managed to get him away. Now three years later, that relationship just won't leave him. Josh always seems to know when Kevin is alone and taunts him regularly; calling, sending messages, always claiming that Josh still loves him and wants him back. Kevin is struggling to get by, to heal, with the constant reminders of his past mistakes. His self-esteem is at rock bottom and he is scared to be alone.
Connor has gone into the local bookstore for a few books, but finds himself unable to take his eyes of the man snuggled in a chair, enraptured in his book. He's helpless to do anything but try to find out who he is. At Connor's approach, despite being enchanted himself, Kevin's nerves get the best of him and he runs from the store. Picking up the book Kevin was reading Connor realizes he was the author and in talking with the store owner, knows he has a way back in to get to know Kevin.
With a little "help" (a good solid shove for Kevin and a few strong warnings for Connor) from Kevin's friends this story rolls into a beautiful path of discovery. As Kevin begins to open up and find himself again, Connor has to deal with his own feelings about what happened to Kevin. All the while Kevin's ex's taunts get worse and worse.
This story has a beautiful message about trusting yourself and that you can find love again. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Ms. McElfresh didn't instantly make Kevin better as soon as he met Connor. He has a lot of issues and things he's trying to work through. None of them are going to go away over night. But, having that person who loves you despite everything is certain to help you along your path.
In spite of the almost insta-love, or maybe just insta-attraction/addiction of this book I enjoyed the way that Connor and Kevin's relationship developed over time. Each new issue was addressed and dealt with in an understandable manner. They weren't glossed over. I felt for Kevin and was rooting for him to be able to move forward in his life. I respected Connor for not running when things got heavy and for trying to understand what all Kevin was dealing with.
There were some extremely sweet moments and relationships in this book. First of all, the dancing! Great scene, I almost felt bad for Connor. I particularly enjoyed Kevin and Devon's relationship. It was so well handled. Devon being someone who was into the lifestyle that Kevin as running from, but had all the tools to be able to help him, added a lovely layer to everything. I can easily imagine Kevin curled in a chair in the dark calling Devon for comfort even if he is terrified to be around the man. The complexities of that relationship really added to Kevin for me.
The pressure cooker that Josh's antics put Kevin and Connor under really helped move the story along. It added the perfect compliment to take this from being an average story of two men meeting into a fabulously engrossing novel. While the abusive elements might not make this book for everyone I do love a novel that can show me the brighter side of all that pain. Ms. McElfresh didn't gloss over the darker elements, but she didn't dwell on them either. She maintained a lovely blend that gives the reader all the understanding that is needed to identify with her characters without drowning them in Kevin's depressing painful past. There's such hope for Kevin's redemption in the epilogue you can do nothing but know that these two got the happily ever after they deserve.
June 27, 2013
Kevin used to play at all kinds of kink and he danced.
Then he met Josh and life eventually went to hell. Josh used the 'D/s -BDSM' to abuse, torture, torment, hurt, humiliate, isolate, control...pretty much every bad thing you can think of he did it under the pretense of D/s to Kevin.
Well, three years after leaving Josh (which very nearly cost him his life) he is slowly, very slowly getting better. He meets Conner. Well Conner is just a knight in shiny armor. He is patient, supportive, understanding...etc..
There is a large cast of supporting and supportive characters in this story.
Well Josh just can't let Kevin move on and be happy, so there is drama added into the trauma..
I actually liked it, it was heavy and very sad in parts, cute and humorous in parts, uplifting and sweet too.
Then he met Josh and life eventually went to hell. Josh used the 'D/s -BDSM' to abuse, torture, torment, hurt, humiliate, isolate, control...pretty much every bad thing you can think of he did it under the pretense of D/s to Kevin.
Well, three years after leaving Josh (which very nearly cost him his life) he is slowly, very slowly getting better. He meets Conner. Well Conner is just a knight in shiny armor. He is patient, supportive, understanding...etc..
There is a large cast of supporting and supportive characters in this story.
Well Josh just can't let Kevin move on and be happy, so there is drama added into the trauma..
I actually liked it, it was heavy and very sad in parts, cute and humorous in parts, uplifting and sweet too.
April 26, 2012
I tend to rate stuff pretty high on average, because I am so easily entertained. I really hate giving bad reviews because I often like books that others feel are totally lame, but then again I always use the disclaimer ***I am easily entertained***.
I guess that I thought this was going to be a more of a Cinderfella theme than it was and that threw me a bit. It was really all about a guy who is being stalked by his totally pyscho ex dom.
It just didn't do it for me - I went between boredom and irritation during most of the book. I did not have much empathy or even sympathy for the main character. The actual writing is pretty good I just didn't like the people the writer created for me. There were a few bright moments but they didn't shine enough to keep my attention.
I guess that I thought this was going to be a more of a Cinderfella theme than it was and that threw me a bit. It was really all about a guy who is being stalked by his totally pyscho ex dom.
It just didn't do it for me - I went between boredom and irritation during most of the book. I did not have much empathy or even sympathy for the main character. The actual writing is pretty good I just didn't like the people the writer created for me. There were a few bright moments but they didn't shine enough to keep my attention.
March 17, 2012
Hmm, finally picked this one back up a month and a half after putting it down at 70%. I liked it enough that I didn't want it to end up in my DNF pile, but I didn't love it. There were some really nice secondary characters, but I didn't feel like we really got to know any of them very well. They were ever present in Kevin's life, yet for all their meddling no one seemed to be able to help him at his greatest hour of need. And frankly, his relationship with Devon kinda freaked me out a little. I know he was supposed to be his pseudo shrink, but it seemed he was a little too close to the situation to be able to ethically pass professional judgement on Kevin's feelings for Connor. It was obvious how safe and happy Kevin was with Connor, yet it seemed like Devon (and most of the rest of them) were constantly passing judgement where it wasn't needed. Parts of the story & characters I really liked, yet nothing completely connected me to the pages & people like I really wanted it to.
August 10, 2016
The story was good but it had the potential to be so much more. The problems I had with the story are that 1: The story mainly doted on one MC (Kevin, the abused) while Connor, the other MC was grossly overlooked. His background was just as interesting yet McElfresh, dedicated very little to Connor's storyline. I was bitterly disappointed by this. 2: aside from the MC's, There were other supporting characters that were very intriguing as well and I wanted to learn more about them. The way the story unfolds it would have been seamless for her to flesh out these characters and it would not have taken away from the book at all. 3: I know this story is about triumphing over abuse but way too much of the story was dedicated to it. She should have limited this and dedicated more time to the other characters.
Despite these shortcomings the book was enjoyable. I looked forward to how the story would end and McElfresh, did a wonderful job wrapping it up.
Despite these shortcomings the book was enjoyable. I looked forward to how the story would end and McElfresh, did a wonderful job wrapping it up.
November 24, 2012
I found the first half of this book not a little slow but a little difficult to get into. Kevin at the beginning of the book is really messed up, shy, afraid, emotional, insecure. He is a total basket case who feels he doesn't deserve anything and how could he not be that way after all the abuse he went through. However about 30% or so of the way his real self starts coming through which is nice to see but at the very beginning feels like he has dual personalities.
It was good to see Kevin slowly coming out of his shell and falling in love with Connor.
It was good to see Kevin slowly coming out of his shell and falling in love with Connor.
February 5, 2014
3.5 stars. I thought this one had very good tension. While I enjoyed both characters Kevin came off as very much more stereotypical female in the beginning. He did change but I was a bit worried there for a bit. I took a full star off for the drama near the end. Saw that one coming a mile away. I'd like to see some of the other characters get a story. I love abuse/hurt MC theme but here we get told it quite frequently but never really get to experience. While that may make some folks happy since they cannot handle this type of story I thought some flashbacks with how Kevin was feeling would have certainly had me more understanding of him. Loved the cop twist - and I did like that we get a HEA.
May 23, 2010
A good solid read of abuse and recovery. The secondary characters were used as info dumps throughout the book which at times made me want to stop reading. I felt Conner and Kevin should have communicated more amongst themselves to bring the reader closer. Although the book does have a HEA, I thought this read leaned more into drama since the romance is overshadowed by the angst of the story.
October 18, 2011
This book got me hooked from the first page. I almost couldn´t put it down until I finished it. It was hard to see the torment and ghosts that were left in Keith's life, but it was also wonderful to see the persistence, care and patience of Connor. Wonderful book - got me hooked until the last page. very recomended... For sure a 5*
May 19, 2019
This was a bit difficult for me ... it was not bad but it was ...long. and me saying that hurts because normally I LOVE long books. I adore it when books have a well written relationship and story development
but this was just long in the wrong places I guess.
nevertheless, I did like it - most of the time
but this was just long in the wrong places I guess.
nevertheless, I did like it - most of the time
October 27, 2012
A very emotional and poignant book. I enjoyed it a lot. Highly recommended!
May 13, 2019
This was written by another author who released one book and then disappeared into the ether. Sadly, the pacing dragged in several areas. There was also a fair amount of telling versus showing me what was happening. Though I tagged it BDSM, there is no active scening in the book. Kevin was horribly abused by a Dom who left him for dead some years ago. Kevin is still dealing with the aftereffects of that abuse and is wary of getting involved again. Prior to that, he was very active in the BDSM scene and underneath the pain and hurt he's experienced, he's quite a charming man. He meets Connor in a book store but then runs away. We are then introduced to Kevin's appallingly annoying friend, Nicki. Unfortunately, for me, she falls into that category of women who is an aggravating friend who butts into every aspect of Kevin's life and takes liberties with private information that I found shocking. Kevin is protected by an assortment of friends which is admirable, but at times I found it intrusive. Anyway, Kevin does eventually date Connor but spends most of the book saying "you don't want me. I am damaged goods," and so on. There is an element of suspense that is introduced early in the book as Kevin is being stalked. But then like every stupid horror movie when a stupid person who goes into a dark basement where the killer is hanging out, we have some really dumb moves by Kevin and Connor. The book does end in an HEA but be warned - there's some on page violence that is quite graphic. This could have been a great book with some tightening up but alas, it dragged on and on to the point I was obsessively checking my percent complete until at last I was at the end.
April 16, 2021
Kevin has spent the last three years barely living but trying to survive after he was able to escape from his ex. When Connor approaches Kevin, he isn’t sure how to react to such a big man asking him out so he runs away. Connor continues to show up in Kevin’s circle of friends, so he slowly starts to trust him and feel safe for the first time in almost three years.
This was definitely a hurt/comfort book, but there were a couple of areas that I had issues with, especially with the way Kevin’s friends confronted Connor and basically within days of them meeting told Connor all of Kevin’s issues, while also warning him off of Kevin. His friends are supposedly trying to look out for him, but I’m not sure that telling all about his trauma without his permission was really the best way to go about protecting Kevin. Kevin’s responses also seemed to contradict themselves at times, but that I could accept easier than the way his friends acted. Overall, for a first book from this author it was a good story with a good story line.
This was definitely a hurt/comfort book, but there were a couple of areas that I had issues with, especially with the way Kevin’s friends confronted Connor and basically within days of them meeting told Connor all of Kevin’s issues, while also warning him off of Kevin. His friends are supposedly trying to look out for him, but I’m not sure that telling all about his trauma without his permission was really the best way to go about protecting Kevin. Kevin’s responses also seemed to contradict themselves at times, but that I could accept easier than the way his friends acted. Overall, for a first book from this author it was a good story with a good story line.
June 12, 2018
3.5 ⭐️
All of the angst was there, but somehow it felt a tad flat. I guess I just didn't feel a deep enough connection between Connor and Kevin, at least on Kevin's side.
All of the angst was there, but somehow it felt a tad flat. I guess I just didn't feel a deep enough connection between Connor and Kevin, at least on Kevin's side.
November 7, 2011
This book had a lot of high and low notes for me. Way too much time was spent rehashing the abuse (sounds wrong, I know), when there were so many interesting characters to flesh out. His mom, his relationship with his dad, his complex love of the BDSM scene, etc. I don't specify the pronoun "his" because the whole story was about Kevin.
I felt like Connor was a side note, and not a main character. He had an intersting story too, but I don't think over a few pages was dedicated to him. In order for him to pick up his whole life and move away from everyone he loved, his breakup had to be pretty devastating as well, but it was just squeezed in there to make Connor seem more 3D.
I'm sure Kevin was a sweet character, but he was so overshadowed by the abuse (as can actually happen), that I didn't really see what Connor got to see in him. Most of the information Connor learned about Kevin came from his friends in the info dumps someone mentioned before. The author should have resisted the urge to plop two characters down at a coffee house table and say ok, spill your guts. Need more information? Oh, okay. You two characters sit here at this bar. Spill your guts. It was a little obvious and I think I would have felt more in touch with Kevin if the info came from him. He didn't even seem surprised when Connor knew these things. It was more relieved, like, "oh good, someone else told you. whew. Movies anyone?" Kevin seemed almost schizophrenic at times. He would bawl like the world was ending, and then the next page, be crawling all over Connor like a playful kitten. That can happen when you're trying to be the life of the party and real life hits you from out of nowhere (I know) but reading it threw me off a little bit.
SPOILER ALERT
Confronting your stalker, not a good idea. His sudden surge of anger and bravery lasted 4.3 nanoseconds...not really long enough to take your attacker down. I don't know why Connor even allowed him to run out there. If anyone I loved attempted a stunt like that, I would yank them back into the booth and say, "sit your crazy ass down." The climatic ending with Josh began well, but the setup was waaay too predictable. And while maybe some of the more analytical of us thinks, after being shot, as we're falling to the ground, "Hm, I hope I was shot in the arm...or the shoulder...somewhere not vital..." I think it really took away from the drama. You KNOW he's not going to die anyway, but come on, lead us on a little. We like the tease!
The police presence seemed non-exsistent, and although there are way too many homophobes in authority positions, they usually try to hide it better than saying, "You fags get what you deserve." I would looooove to see the officer who would say that in front of me (even if I'm a woman and not gay, still). I would have his badge before lunch.
Anyhoo, overall this was a nice change from some of the more recent books I've been reading that don't even attempt to flesh out anyone, and with a strong editing hand, it could be a really good read. I wish the fictious Connor and Kevin many more years together ::smiles::
I felt like Connor was a side note, and not a main character. He had an intersting story too, but I don't think over a few pages was dedicated to him. In order for him to pick up his whole life and move away from everyone he loved, his breakup had to be pretty devastating as well, but it was just squeezed in there to make Connor seem more 3D.
I'm sure Kevin was a sweet character, but he was so overshadowed by the abuse (as can actually happen), that I didn't really see what Connor got to see in him. Most of the information Connor learned about Kevin came from his friends in the info dumps someone mentioned before. The author should have resisted the urge to plop two characters down at a coffee house table and say ok, spill your guts. Need more information? Oh, okay. You two characters sit here at this bar. Spill your guts. It was a little obvious and I think I would have felt more in touch with Kevin if the info came from him. He didn't even seem surprised when Connor knew these things. It was more relieved, like, "oh good, someone else told you. whew. Movies anyone?" Kevin seemed almost schizophrenic at times. He would bawl like the world was ending, and then the next page, be crawling all over Connor like a playful kitten. That can happen when you're trying to be the life of the party and real life hits you from out of nowhere (I know) but reading it threw me off a little bit.
SPOILER ALERT
Confronting your stalker, not a good idea. His sudden surge of anger and bravery lasted 4.3 nanoseconds...not really long enough to take your attacker down. I don't know why Connor even allowed him to run out there. If anyone I loved attempted a stunt like that, I would yank them back into the booth and say, "sit your crazy ass down." The climatic ending with Josh began well, but the setup was waaay too predictable. And while maybe some of the more analytical of us thinks, after being shot, as we're falling to the ground, "Hm, I hope I was shot in the arm...or the shoulder...somewhere not vital..." I think it really took away from the drama. You KNOW he's not going to die anyway, but come on, lead us on a little. We like the tease!
The police presence seemed non-exsistent, and although there are way too many homophobes in authority positions, they usually try to hide it better than saying, "You fags get what you deserve." I would looooove to see the officer who would say that in front of me (even if I'm a woman and not gay, still). I would have his badge before lunch.
Anyhoo, overall this was a nice change from some of the more recent books I've been reading that don't even attempt to flesh out anyone, and with a strong editing hand, it could be a really good read. I wish the fictious Connor and Kevin many more years together ::smiles::
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 15, 2012
It has been three years since Kevin Stohler was rescued from a dangerously abusive relationship. He bears significant scars, both mental and physical, from his relationship with Josh Harding. Under the guise of BDSM, Josh was violently abusive, sending Kevin to the emergency room numerous times. Kevin found himself in a relationship where his own needs and desires were disregarded at every turn. He has escaped with the help of his friends who are more like family, but he is still struggling to escape Josh’s harassment and stalking. He can’t stay home alone without calling his friend Devon for support, is terrified every time the phone rings. He has withdrawn inside himself, due to consistent contact from Josh when all Kevin wants is to be left alone.
When Kevin meets Connor McCann, the man is a breath of fresh air. Connor is intrigued by Kevin, convinced that there is more to the shy and quiet man. As Connor learns more about Kevin, and meets his fiercely loyal friends, his attraction deepens as does his desire to protect and help the man. Connor thinks that Kevin isn’t healed but is merely coping with what he experienced with Josh. Kevin’s fear and lack of confidence mean that Connor will have to take their relationship slowly. He is willing to invest the time for Kevin, to convince him that he deserves to fall in love.
Reclaiming Love is a captivating story of love and rebuilding trust after being caught in an abusive relationship. The characters of Kevin and Connor are wonderfully drawn and emotionally deep. It is heartbreaking to read the details of Kevin’s past relationship, but watching him to slowly accept love from Connor is beautiful and enjoyable to follow. I especially enjoyed the secondary characters, Kevin’s friends and Connor’s family. They provide some much needed humor as well as being sources of unquestionable love and support for the men. It is intriguing to experience Kevin’s viewpoint, how the core of his being was changed by the abuse he suffered, how it changed his view of himself and what he deserves from life.
This story involves a view of the unfortunate dark side of the BDSM lifestyle, where people take advantage of the exchange of power and control and turn it into abuse. True relationships within this lifestyle are based on three principles: safe, sane and consensual. The character of Josh disregards all of these while abusing Kevin and the resulting story is a unique view of what people involved in the lifestyle must be careful to avoid. Kevin is deeply affected by his previous relationship, to the point that he is afraid of anything to do with BDSM, even some of his friends. What used to provide so much pleasure for him has been tainted and spoiled by Josh’s actions. Following along as Kevin begins a new relationship and deal with everything he has lost is fascinating and makes Reclaiming Love a recommended read.
When Kevin meets Connor McCann, the man is a breath of fresh air. Connor is intrigued by Kevin, convinced that there is more to the shy and quiet man. As Connor learns more about Kevin, and meets his fiercely loyal friends, his attraction deepens as does his desire to protect and help the man. Connor thinks that Kevin isn’t healed but is merely coping with what he experienced with Josh. Kevin’s fear and lack of confidence mean that Connor will have to take their relationship slowly. He is willing to invest the time for Kevin, to convince him that he deserves to fall in love.
Reclaiming Love is a captivating story of love and rebuilding trust after being caught in an abusive relationship. The characters of Kevin and Connor are wonderfully drawn and emotionally deep. It is heartbreaking to read the details of Kevin’s past relationship, but watching him to slowly accept love from Connor is beautiful and enjoyable to follow. I especially enjoyed the secondary characters, Kevin’s friends and Connor’s family. They provide some much needed humor as well as being sources of unquestionable love and support for the men. It is intriguing to experience Kevin’s viewpoint, how the core of his being was changed by the abuse he suffered, how it changed his view of himself and what he deserves from life.
This story involves a view of the unfortunate dark side of the BDSM lifestyle, where people take advantage of the exchange of power and control and turn it into abuse. True relationships within this lifestyle are based on three principles: safe, sane and consensual. The character of Josh disregards all of these while abusing Kevin and the resulting story is a unique view of what people involved in the lifestyle must be careful to avoid. Kevin is deeply affected by his previous relationship, to the point that he is afraid of anything to do with BDSM, even some of his friends. What used to provide so much pleasure for him has been tainted and spoiled by Josh’s actions. Following along as Kevin begins a new relationship and deal with everything he has lost is fascinating and makes Reclaiming Love a recommended read.
January 6, 2017
M/M. I love pathos and angst more than anything. But, I also need a solid story with it. This one had the pathos in droves but the story was really weak.
July 27, 2016
In all of our justified focus on same-sex marriage, there are other issues that impact the LGBT community that we don't always consider with enough energy, attention, and focus. Domestic violence is one of those issues. "Reclaiming Love" focuses on a victim's attempt, not only to survive a horrific experience of domestic abuse, but to reclaim his life and move on.
Three years ago, Kevin Stohler left a vicious relationship, and he is still recovering from it. He is a shell of his former vivacious self: he does not engage in many of the activities that he used to love, he has a limited social circle, and since his self-esteem is the pits, he does not believe that anyone decent could find him attractive. That is why he is absolutely stunned when the "golden god," Connor McCann, hits on him one day in a bookshop. Well-meaning friends, however, broker a coffee date, and after that, the two are off and running. Kevin's ex, however, is stalking him, and his actions threaten to ruin the budding relationship that is developing between Kevin and Connor.
This book takes a really compelling look at how one victim tries to handle the fallout from an abusive relationship, and it is pretty honest in the way that it details Kevin's fears and his reactions, as well as the damage to his self-esteem. It is also pretty brutal in its assessment of the official response to same-sex domestic violence, particularly between men. Connor's willingness to accept the situation was a bit unrealistic, but only because he and Kevin had been dating for such a brief period of time when he was forced to make really hard choices regarding both his and Kevin's safety, choices that he should not have been expected to make after such a short a short acquaintance. Other than that, though, I thought it was a very strong novel.
Three years ago, Kevin Stohler left a vicious relationship, and he is still recovering from it. He is a shell of his former vivacious self: he does not engage in many of the activities that he used to love, he has a limited social circle, and since his self-esteem is the pits, he does not believe that anyone decent could find him attractive. That is why he is absolutely stunned when the "golden god," Connor McCann, hits on him one day in a bookshop. Well-meaning friends, however, broker a coffee date, and after that, the two are off and running. Kevin's ex, however, is stalking him, and his actions threaten to ruin the budding relationship that is developing between Kevin and Connor.
This book takes a really compelling look at how one victim tries to handle the fallout from an abusive relationship, and it is pretty honest in the way that it details Kevin's fears and his reactions, as well as the damage to his self-esteem. It is also pretty brutal in its assessment of the official response to same-sex domestic violence, particularly between men. Connor's willingness to accept the situation was a bit unrealistic, but only because he and Kevin had been dating for such a brief period of time when he was forced to make really hard choices regarding both his and Kevin's safety, choices that he should not have been expected to make after such a short a short acquaintance. Other than that, though, I thought it was a very strong novel.
November 5, 2012
This was actually amazingly good.
The balance between the plot and sex was very good. The sex wasn't intrusive, yet was worked into the plot in a way that it couldn't exactly be ignored, and not just because the characters would have incongruously meaningful conversations during sex.
It was beautifully written and wonderfully realistic. I got angst, but it didn't feel like wangst to me, which is always gratifying.
This kind of reminds me of the way I felt about the movie Pursuit of Happyness. It's amazing and so damn profound, but not necessarily something I'd want to reread, at least not immediately because it's so engaging that it sucks you right in that you're almost living it vicariously and then pummels you with something so damn deep that it leaves you shaken to the freaking core. On a lesser scale. I'd say this one definitely lets you down a little more gently...
Welp, now that I've done all the melodramatic whatevers, let me say this: it's definitely a good read and very well written. The main characters are so damn cute and none of it rang of melodrama to me.
11/4/12 ETA
Okay, this didn't hold up to the scrutiny of time. In rereading, first off, I found several grammatical errors, most of which were misused homophones. The most egregious by far was "Afternoon with a Fawn." I looked it up cuz I got curious, only to find that it actually should be Faun. No wonder the sentence read so weird. ("but he loved the image of the fawn preying on a helpless maiden.").
Also, it is rather melodramatic. It has its nice parts, but there are parts that were rather...meh. Still, it wasn't completely terrible, so while I did decrease my rating by one star, it still gets a 4, which is pretty high.
The balance between the plot and sex was very good. The sex wasn't intrusive, yet was worked into the plot in a way that it couldn't exactly be ignored, and not just because the characters would have incongruously meaningful conversations during sex.
It was beautifully written and wonderfully realistic. I got angst, but it didn't feel like wangst to me, which is always gratifying.
This kind of reminds me of the way I felt about the movie Pursuit of Happyness. It's amazing and so damn profound, but not necessarily something I'd want to reread, at least not immediately because it's so engaging that it sucks you right in that you're almost living it vicariously and then pummels you with something so damn deep that it leaves you shaken to the freaking core. On a lesser scale. I'd say this one definitely lets you down a little more gently...
Welp, now that I've done all the melodramatic whatevers, let me say this: it's definitely a good read and very well written. The main characters are so damn cute and none of it rang of melodrama to me.
11/4/12 ETA
Okay, this didn't hold up to the scrutiny of time. In rereading, first off, I found several grammatical errors, most of which were misused homophones. The most egregious by far was "Afternoon with a Fawn." I looked it up cuz I got curious, only to find that it actually should be Faun. No wonder the sentence read so weird. ("but he loved the image of the fawn preying on a helpless maiden.").
Also, it is rather melodramatic. It has its nice parts, but there are parts that were rather...meh. Still, it wasn't completely terrible, so while I did decrease my rating by one star, it still gets a 4, which is pretty high.
December 25, 2015
Let me start of with the positive things.
The writing was pretty good. There were no confusing moments for me, there was a steady pace to the story and the characters were well-rounded. Connor was an okay character. I kind of liked him.
But then.... Kevin.... God, I really disliked him. His character was all over the place. He was supposed to be a sub when he played the BDSM scene, but he would easily become as demanding as any Dom would be. One minute he would act like a scared little boy and the next he would be all, oh look at me with all of my sexual experience... I really hated that. I kept feeling sorry for Connor that he was not included in that special world of BDSM, as Kevin would constantly tell him.
Kevin was scared to have sex because of what his ex put him through, but he was definitely bragging to Connor about his sex life. Even when Connor says he had a threesome once Kevin actually says, is that all you have ever done... I wanted to shoot him right then.
And what was with the whole Devon thing? I understand Devon is a Dom who Kevin had sex with a couple of times in the past. They became close friends and he was there when Kevin needed him. But why is it ok for Kevin to keep telling Connor that he would want for Devon to flog him? And after they have sex for the first time Connor asks Kevin where he learned that and Kevin actually says Devon. Connor then says he wants to thank Devon. Why isn't Connor jealous when they are discussing another man in their bed????? I kept getting the feeling that Connor could never be to Kevin what Devon was.
So, a book with potential but with a totally annoying character...
The writing was pretty good. There were no confusing moments for me, there was a steady pace to the story and the characters were well-rounded. Connor was an okay character. I kind of liked him.
But then.... Kevin.... God, I really disliked him. His character was all over the place. He was supposed to be a sub when he played the BDSM scene, but he would easily become as demanding as any Dom would be. One minute he would act like a scared little boy and the next he would be all, oh look at me with all of my sexual experience... I really hated that. I kept feeling sorry for Connor that he was not included in that special world of BDSM, as Kevin would constantly tell him.
Kevin was scared to have sex because of what his ex put him through, but he was definitely bragging to Connor about his sex life. Even when Connor says he had a threesome once Kevin actually says, is that all you have ever done... I wanted to shoot him right then.
And what was with the whole Devon thing? I understand Devon is a Dom who Kevin had sex with a couple of times in the past. They became close friends and he was there when Kevin needed him. But why is it ok for Kevin to keep telling Connor that he would want for Devon to flog him? And after they have sex for the first time Connor asks Kevin where he learned that and Kevin actually says Devon. Connor then says he wants to thank Devon. Why isn't Connor jealous when they are discussing another man in their bed????? I kept getting the feeling that Connor could never be to Kevin what Devon was.
So, a book with potential but with a totally annoying character...
November 3, 2012
This was a decent book, but it was very predictable. The characters were very like-able, and the storyline was good but again, too predictable. I am also not a huge fan of instant love, and these characters seemed to be professing their love way to soon to be believable.
Now, thinking about the book as a whole, it had a good plot, nice flow and good characters. The story follows Kevin who is being tormented by his ex who abused him. His rescuer comes in the form of the new guy in town, Connor. The book follows the trials and tribulations of the violent hate Kevin's ex has of him and the ways he tries to stay in Kevin's life. I felt that Kevin was a somewhat unstable character in the book. At one moment he was overly emotional, at another he was perfectly in tune with himself. There didn't seem to be a particular balance for Kevin and I felt the author could have extended the identity of his character a bit more. Again, just a preference for realness on my part.
I would not say this is a bad book, just a predictable one.
Now, thinking about the book as a whole, it had a good plot, nice flow and good characters. The story follows Kevin who is being tormented by his ex who abused him. His rescuer comes in the form of the new guy in town, Connor. The book follows the trials and tribulations of the violent hate Kevin's ex has of him and the ways he tries to stay in Kevin's life. I felt that Kevin was a somewhat unstable character in the book. At one moment he was overly emotional, at another he was perfectly in tune with himself. There didn't seem to be a particular balance for Kevin and I felt the author could have extended the identity of his character a bit more. Again, just a preference for realness on my part.
I would not say this is a bad book, just a predictable one.
dnf
April 11, 2012This is one that I may pick up later, but the story is just not grabbing me. It had potential as we meet Kevin who's obviously been victimized at some point & is very withdrawn as a result. He starts a tentative relationship with Connor--or what I'd call 2 dates. On the first date one of Kevin's friends threaten Connor & says treat Kevin right or else. After the second date another friend demands to know basically what are your intentions & how do you feel about depressed abused men & are you willing to continue seeing him after I tell you his totally horrific life story in true info dump fashion. When Connor didn't run for the hills like a normal man would from poor sad Kevin & his freaky, scary, threatening friends, I lost interest.
September 23, 2011
It is an absolute shame that this book only has two reviews because it is absolutely awesome, engaging, thrilling, and mindblowing. The gentle and growing love between the two characters is wonderfully developed. It does not lack for action and offers sincerity,realism and genuineness. I loved Kevin and how "real" he seemed in his quest to get beyond his trauma and Conner's gentleness as he showed him time, patience, and love. Neither character was larger than life, and the passion was still wonderful between them.
I love this book. It is definitely worth reading . . . A Must Read!!
I do wish I could read more about Devon, though. Hmmmm. Hint. Hint.
I love this book. It is definitely worth reading . . . A Must Read!!
I do wish I could read more about Devon, though. Hmmmm. Hint. Hint.
January 9, 2011
To a great extent this is a stereotypical stalker story. Kevin is a damaged man who meets a new love and has to defeat the stalker and heal old emotional wounds in order to have a future with his new lover. Connor is too good to be true, but that's what fantasies are all about, right? Cute characters, great chemistry and solid (if a little predictable) plot make this an entertaining story well worth the time and money.
If you love angsty stories, don't miss this one. It's perfect for angst whores like me!
If you love angsty stories, don't miss this one. It's perfect for angst whores like me!
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