What do you think?
Rate this book
Living Your Unlived Life: Coping with Unrealized Dreams and Fulfilling Your Purpose in the Second Half of Life
The esteemed Jungian psychologist counsels on how to cope with feelings of failure or regret in the latter half of life and how to open to a more meaningful existence, even if outer circumstances cannot be changed.
In Living Your Unlived Life, the renowned therapist Robert A. Johnson, writing with longtime collaborator and fellow Jungian psychologist Jerry M. Ruhl, offers a simple but transformative premise: Our abandoned, unrealized, or underdeveloped talents, when they are not fully integrated into our lives, can become profoundly troublesome in midlife, leading us to depression, suddenly hating our spouses, our jobs, or even our lives. When our unlived lives are brought to consciousness, however, they can become the fuel that can propel us beyond our limitations—even if our outer circumstances cannot always be visibly altered.
In Living Your Unlived Life, the renowned therapist Robert A. Johnson, writing with longtime collaborator and fellow Jungian psychologist Jerry M. Ruhl, offers a simple but transformative premise: Our abandoned, unrealized, or underdeveloped talents, when they are not fully integrated into our lives, can become profoundly troublesome in midlife, leading us to depression, suddenly hating our spouses, our jobs, or even our lives. When our unlived lives are brought to consciousness, however, they can become the fuel that can propel us beyond our limitations—even if our outer circumstances cannot always be visibly altered.
284 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 4, 2007
171 people are currently reading
983 people want to read
About the author
Robert A. Johnson
97 books817 followersRobert A. Johnson is a noted lecturer and Jungian analyst in private practice in San Diego, California. He has studied at the Jung Institute in Switzerland and at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in India.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
March 18, 2018
کارل یونگ، روانشناس سوئیسی، نوشته است: «سنگینترین باری که یک کودک باید به دوش بکشد، بار زندگی نزیستهی والدینش است». منظور او از این حرف این بود که سرپرستان ما هرکجا و هرگونه که در سیر تکاملی خود گیر کرده باشند، همانجا برای ما تبدیل به الگویی درونی میشود که در آن گیر میافتیم. اغلب اوقات ناگهان به خود میآییم و میبینیم که با مسائل حلنشدهی والدینمان سروکله میزنیم. گاهی ممکن است نسخهی دوم نیاکان خود باشیم، یا شاید شورش کنیم و سعی کنیم برخلاف آنها عمل کنیم. مخالفت با تأثیرات و نفوذ والدین بهطرز جالبی بههمان اندازه دست و پای ما را میبندد که موافقت با آن. در هرصورت، پیشینیان ما را محدود میکنند. شاید علت این امر در تذکر باستانی کتاب مقدس نهفته باشد که میگوید: «گناهان انسان، فرزندانِ فرزندان او را تا نسل سوم و چهارم آزار خواهند داد».
October 24, 2016
کتاب شروع طوفانی داشت. تقریبا فصل های اولش رو می تونستم کلمه به کلمه درک کنم و همین شروع طوفانی انتظارم رو برای ادامه کتاب بیشتر می کرد تا ببینم چه راهکارها و توصیه هایی ارائه خواهد شد.
ولی در ادامه کتاب کمی مایوس شدم. کتاب به طور کلی در مورد روانشناسی مکتب یونگ بود و اصول اون رو توضیح می داد به اضافه راهکارهای عملی به باور من غیرقابل اتکایی که بعضا لابه لای مطالب عنوان می شد. گرچه برخی از همین راهکارها به نظرم خوب و موثر می اومدن. در نهایت اینکه فقط از فصل های اول کتاب لذت بردم و بقیه کتاب رو به احترام همون فصل های اول به زور ادامه دادم.
به نظرم اسم کتاب که برآمده از مطالب فصول اول است کمی برای این کتاب گمراه کننده است.
با این وجود به خاطر همون چند فصل اول کتاب با قاطعیت می تونم خوندش رو به هر کسی که در آستانه 30 سالگی هست توصیه کنم.
ولی در ادامه کتاب کمی مایوس شدم. کتاب به طور کلی در مورد روانشناسی مکتب یونگ بود و اصول اون رو توضیح می داد به اضافه راهکارهای عملی به باور من غیرقابل اتکایی که بعضا لابه لای مطالب عنوان می شد. گرچه برخی از همین راهکارها به نظرم خوب و موثر می اومدن. در نهایت اینکه فقط از فصل های اول کتاب لذت بردم و بقیه کتاب رو به احترام همون فصل های اول به زور ادامه دادم.
به نظرم اسم کتاب که برآمده از مطالب فصول اول است کمی برای این کتاب گمراه کننده است.
با این وجود به خاطر همون چند فصل اول کتاب با قاطعیت می تونم خوندش رو به هر کسی که در آستانه 30 سالگی هست توصیه کنم.
August 10, 2019
«Ζήστε υπηρετώντας κάτι ανώτερο και ανθεκτικότερο, έτσι που, όταν τελικά έλθετε αντιμέτωποι με την τραγική παροδικότητα της ζωής, να αισθανθείτε ότι αυτό για το οποίο ζήσατε δεν θα χαθεί» Gilbert Murray
December 13, 2008
What I remember most from this book is the telling of the story of Procrustes. I had never before heard this story from Greek mythology about the man who invited travelers to sleep in his magical bed, which was always exactly the right size for each person--but only because he adjusted the size of the traveler to fit the bed, either by stretching the person on a rack or by chopping off his legs.
The image of one's legs being chopped off to fit the bed was graphic enough to shock me into understanding the authors' Jungian point, that this is exactly what we do with parts of ourselves that don't seem to fit the mold of who we think we ought to be.
Another useful insight I gained from the book was that we need not seek to be perfect. It is more realistic to think of ourselves like a thermostat--never achieving exactly the right temperature, but able to constantly adjust, turning on the furnace then things get a little too cold and turning it off then it gets a bit too hot.
I appreciate these two insights from the book, and perhaps a few others that may be affecting me positively at an unconscious level. If you feel like part of your life has been pinched off and not allowed to blossom, this is a great self-help book. As with most self-help books, however, the writing style is nothing to write home about.
The image of one's legs being chopped off to fit the bed was graphic enough to shock me into understanding the authors' Jungian point, that this is exactly what we do with parts of ourselves that don't seem to fit the mold of who we think we ought to be.
Another useful insight I gained from the book was that we need not seek to be perfect. It is more realistic to think of ourselves like a thermostat--never achieving exactly the right temperature, but able to constantly adjust, turning on the furnace then things get a little too cold and turning it off then it gets a bit too hot.
I appreciate these two insights from the book, and perhaps a few others that may be affecting me positively at an unconscious level. If you feel like part of your life has been pinched off and not allowed to blossom, this is a great self-help book. As with most self-help books, however, the writing style is nothing to write home about.
September 26, 2012
I like Robert Johnson's other works, but this one is a bit wordy - a little editing would help. Overall, it was quite helpful for an intuitive - sensates may have trouble with this one. Did motivate me to be aware of the transcendent moment by moment and accept the paradoxes that are part of daily life. Try living by this quote for a day and see what happens:
"Embrace what happens in daily life. This implies taking the ego and investing it somewhere. If your power and freedom are invested fatefully, you will be saved from the constant anxiety of a split world. To remove this anxiety you need only say yes to what is. So simple, but not easily accomplished."
Followed by the story of the 2 laborers pushing their wheelbarrows; when one was asked what he was doing he said, "I'm pushing a wheelbarrow". When the other was asked the same question he said, "I'm building the Chartres Cathedral, performing the work of God."
Which one is living fatefully? Perspective is everything.
"Embrace what happens in daily life. This implies taking the ego and investing it somewhere. If your power and freedom are invested fatefully, you will be saved from the constant anxiety of a split world. To remove this anxiety you need only say yes to what is. So simple, but not easily accomplished."
Followed by the story of the 2 laborers pushing their wheelbarrows; when one was asked what he was doing he said, "I'm pushing a wheelbarrow". When the other was asked the same question he said, "I'm building the Chartres Cathedral, performing the work of God."
Which one is living fatefully? Perspective is everything.
May 22, 2018
در مسير زندگي هر انسان علاوه بر انتخاب ها و راهي كه پيموده است، چندين راه نپيموده وجود دارد.
تحقق كامل توان بالقوه هر انسان چندان ممكن نيست و همه ي ما انسان ها زندگي هاي نزيسته فراواني داريم، در اين اثر رابرت جانسون با رويكردي يونگي به تحليل اين مسائله و نحوه مواجه انسان (بخصوص بعد ميان سالي) با اين موضوع پرداخته است.
مواردي كه با انكار در ناخودآگاه فرد جمع شده و مي تواند بر روان و آگاهي او اثر بگذارد.
بيشتر اوقات راهي براي تجربه ي تمام راه هاي نرفته در دنياي بيروني وجود ندارد و براي حل موضوع بايد از خود ناخودآگاه كمك گرفت. مطالعه اين كتاب براي افرادي كه دغدغه ي تماميت وجود دارند، خالي از لطف نيست.
تحقق كامل توان بالقوه هر انسان چندان ممكن نيست و همه ي ما انسان ها زندگي هاي نزيسته فراواني داريم، در اين اثر رابرت جانسون با رويكردي يونگي به تحليل اين مسائله و نحوه مواجه انسان (بخصوص بعد ميان سالي) با اين موضوع پرداخته است.
مواردي كه با انكار در ناخودآگاه فرد جمع شده و مي تواند بر روان و آگاهي او اثر بگذارد.
بيشتر اوقات راهي براي تجربه ي تمام راه هاي نرفته در دنياي بيروني وجود ندارد و براي حل موضوع بايد از خود ناخودآگاه كمك گرفت. مطالعه اين كتاب براي افرادي كه دغدغه ي تماميت وجود دارند، خالي از لطف نيست.
September 27, 2011
This is primarily an expansion of some of the themes of shadow from Johnson's book Owning Your Own Shadow. Specifically focuses on unlived, unexpressed desires. Don't be misled by this title: Johnson's advice isn't some shallow counsel to throw everything away and do what you wanted to do when you were a kid. It's deep, satisfying, and subtle.
July 25, 2013
Living your unlived life makes Jungian psychology easy to understand. The shadow that Jung talked about becomes easier to understand in Johnson and Ruhl's book. Here in this book the co-authors say that the unlived parts of us that are hidden in our unconscious should be allowed to surface in some form. Beyond unrealized dreams there are unrealized behaviors that are kept concealed in our being because the latter are not acceptable by society or they may cause tension and split between friends or among families and many other reasons following. Though we may not act these "hidden" behaviors out, the authors suggest that we must acknowledge them and find some ways to "live" them out. They gave a few exercises in their book.
November 1, 2014
It took longer that I finished the book so I lost connection with it but as much as I remember though it's written for the people who have mid-life crisis,It gives solutions for everybody who thinks they don't live fully.The book call it ''unlived life'' and it gives you alternative methods to live the life you've always dreamed about but never had a chance because of the fear of ruining your current life.And It has a different perspective about dreams too.It says we should analyze our dreams based on its symbols but we should search those symbols in ourselves.,to realize our weaknesses,wishes,the thoughts at subconscious mind,not to figure out our future.I found this method very useful actually.Of course I cant say finding alternatives to our problems works all the time but I feel I should give this book another chance and must re-read it carefully this time.
April 5, 2015
It felt like the authors were writing for other therapists rather than for those who are searching for the answers to these questions. Probably good from the 20000 foot level but not a lot of practical advice.
May 16, 2021
کتاب مفیدی هست مخصوصا فصل اول و دومش که بسیار روان و قابل فهم برای همه، ولی فصول بعدی کمی تخصصیتر شده. به نظر من خوندن دو فصل اول هم میتونه زنگ گذر عمر رو برامون به صدا دربیاره و یه هشداری بده، مخصوصا اگه قبل از پایان دههی سوم زندگی خوانده بشه میتونه مفیدتر هم واقع بشه.
همهی ما آدمها یک مسیری رو تو زندگیمون انتخاب میکنیم و بعضیامون هم به اجبار در یک مسیری قرار میگیریم و زندگی میکنیم، و از هزاران مسیر دیگری که میتوانستیم اونا رو دنبال کنیم ولی چون انتخابمون نبوده، غافل میمانیم. دههی سوم زندگی زمانیه که بعضی بحرانها و چالشها میاد سراغ آدما و اونا رو از خواب غفلت بیدار میکنه.
وقتی تو ذهنمون عقبگرد میکنیم میبینیم که زندگیمون رو فقط تو یه بُعد پیش بردهایم و تبدیل به یه آدم تکبعدی شدهایم. حتی گاهی از زندگیی که الان در آن هستیم احساس پشیمانی میکنیم و به یاد انتخابهایی میافتیم که میتونستیم داشته باشیم ولی نکردهایم.
هرچند نمیتونیم به گذشته برگردیم و مسیرهای نرفته را امتحان کنیم ولی میتونیم با فکر کردن به انتخابهایی که میتونستیم اما نکردیم، به زندگی نزیسته خود آگاهی پیدا کنیم و تواناییهای بالقوه خودمون رو بشناسیم و نیمه دوم عمرمون رو پربارتر کنیم.
شاید نشه گذشتهها رو جبران کنی ولی میشه وقتی به ایستگاه کمال رسیدی و به پشت سر نگاه کردی دیگه اون افسوسهای امروز سراغت نیاد، و از این بازه ی زندگیات احساس رضایت کنی.
در جبران زندگی نزیسته باید حواسمون به خیلی چیزها باشه؛ مثل اطرافیان و افراد زندگیمون، طوری نباشه که ناخودآگاه بخواهیم تمام چیزهایی که ما زندگی نکردهایم رو تو زندگی اونا پیاده کنیم.
«فقط وقتی ما کسی را به خاطر آنچه که هست دوست بداریم، به راستی دوستش داریم.»
زندگی دو سمت دارد، سمت اول آن فعالیتهای روزمره هست که مستلزم عمل کردن بی وقفه هست و سمت دیگر آن عشق و روابط هست که مستلزم بودن در لحظه.
در نیمه دوم عمر باید از مشغلهها و فعالیتهای مداوم و پیدرپی کمی فاصله بگیریم و هر روز زمانی را به تمرین در لحظه بودن اختصاص دهیم. زمان و مکانی را برای آرام شدن در نظر بگیریم و تنها روی نفس کشیدن؛ دم و بازدم خود تمرکز کنیم و یاد بگیریم در لحظه زندگی کنیم.
همهی ما آدمها یک مسیری رو تو زندگیمون انتخاب میکنیم و بعضیامون هم به اجبار در یک مسیری قرار میگیریم و زندگی میکنیم، و از هزاران مسیر دیگری که میتوانستیم اونا رو دنبال کنیم ولی چون انتخابمون نبوده، غافل میمانیم. دههی سوم زندگی زمانیه که بعضی بحرانها و چالشها میاد سراغ آدما و اونا رو از خواب غفلت بیدار میکنه.
وقتی تو ذهنمون عقبگرد میکنیم میبینیم که زندگیمون رو فقط تو یه بُعد پیش بردهایم و تبدیل به یه آدم تکبعدی شدهایم. حتی گاهی از زندگیی که الان در آن هستیم احساس پشیمانی میکنیم و به یاد انتخابهایی میافتیم که میتونستیم داشته باشیم ولی نکردهایم.
هرچند نمیتونیم به گذشته برگردیم و مسیرهای نرفته را امتحان کنیم ولی میتونیم با فکر کردن به انتخابهایی که میتونستیم اما نکردیم، به زندگی نزیسته خود آگاهی پیدا کنیم و تواناییهای بالقوه خودمون رو بشناسیم و نیمه دوم عمرمون رو پربارتر کنیم.
شاید نشه گذشتهها رو جبران کنی ولی میشه وقتی به ایستگاه کمال رسیدی و به پشت سر نگاه کردی دیگه اون افسوسهای امروز سراغت نیاد، و از این بازه ی زندگیات احساس رضایت کنی.
در جبران زندگی نزیسته باید حواسمون به خیلی چیزها باشه؛ مثل اطرافیان و افراد زندگیمون، طوری نباشه که ناخودآگاه بخواهیم تمام چیزهایی که ما زندگی نکردهایم رو تو زندگی اونا پیاده کنیم.
«فقط وقتی ما کسی را به خاطر آنچه که هست دوست بداریم، به راستی دوستش داریم.»
زندگی دو سمت دارد، سمت اول آن فعالیتهای روزمره هست که مستلزم عمل کردن بی وقفه هست و سمت دیگر آن عشق و روابط هست که مستلزم بودن در لحظه.
در نیمه دوم عمر باید از مشغلهها و فعالیتهای مداوم و پیدرپی کمی فاصله بگیریم و هر روز زمانی را به تمرین در لحظه بودن اختصاص دهیم. زمان و مکانی را برای آرام شدن در نظر بگیریم و تنها روی نفس کشیدن؛ دم و بازدم خود تمرکز کنیم و یاد بگیریم در لحظه زندگی کنیم.
July 27, 2012
Jungian analyst Robert Johnson provides much, much food for thought. He's the same Jungian personality as I am (INFP), and I experience his ideas as having extra resonance accordingly. Deserves multiple readings.
Two ideas stood out this pass:
* "Paradise consists of reality looked at from a different consciousness." (225)
* "Understood psychologically, reincarnation refers to the redemption of our unlived life, the necessity of addressing all our potentials before we can realize God (unity). There are thousands of potentialities within, all of which are calling simultaneously to be expressed and experienced. ... Reincarnation is not for another time, another place, another existence -- it is _now_. Understood at the proper level, we are in all our reincarnations simultaneously." (233-234)
Two ideas stood out this pass:
* "Paradise consists of reality looked at from a different consciousness." (225)
* "Understood psychologically, reincarnation refers to the redemption of our unlived life, the necessity of addressing all our potentials before we can realize God (unity). There are thousands of potentialities within, all of which are calling simultaneously to be expressed and experienced. ... Reincarnation is not for another time, another place, another existence -- it is _now_. Understood at the proper level, we are in all our reincarnations simultaneously." (233-234)
March 14, 2008
Like lots of people my age, I've been looking back at my life, and thinking a lot about the things I haven't done that I always meant to. I don't generally think reading self-help books is the solution, but this one had good reviews, so I thought I'd take a look at it. The problem is that after reading about 80 pages, I couldn't figure out where the authors were going. They keep trying to make connections to Greek myths, and somehow, I just can't make the leap. The book is also fairly religious (Christian) in focus.
June 4, 2020
کتاب جالب و عمیقی است خیلی سخت جلو رفتم و طول کشید تا تمام کنم ،بنظر من محوریت کتاب پرهیز دادن انسان از مطلق نمودن من است و اینکه در ورای انتخاب ها و رفتار های عقل گرایانه و استدلالی من،جهانی دیگر از تضاد ها وجود دارند که من ان ها را به ناخوداگاه رانده و بانها اجازه نمود و خودنمایی و تجربه شدن نمیدهد و کتاب معتقد است که باید تجدید نظر کرد و با ابزاری غیر از من ان ها را دید و تجربه نمود،در واقع سعی در دادن الگویی در جمع ضدین میدهد و بقول مولانا.
نگنجد در خرد وصفش که او را جمع ضدین است
چه بیترکیب ترکیبی عجب مجبور مختاری
و تمرین نگاه،پذیرش و زندگی ضدین کاری مشکل و نیازمند ممارست است،که هر چه سن انسان بالاتر میرود بشرط رشدیافتگی بهتر انسان میتواند انها را ببیند و تعامل کند در این صورت است که به یگانگی و وحدت وجود نزدیک میشود
نگنجد در خرد وصفش که او را جمع ضدین است
چه بیترکیب ترکیبی عجب مجبور مختاری
و تمرین نگاه،پذیرش و زندگی ضدین کاری مشکل و نیازمند ممارست است،که هر چه سن انسان بالاتر میرود بشرط رشدیافتگی بهتر انسان میتواند انها را ببیند و تعامل کند در این صورت است که به یگانگی و وحدت وجود نزدیک میشود
Read
December 18, 2022"Sigmund Freud said that no one ever really forgives the person who civilized them; this process leaves indelible influence, scars, and limitations. But if you don't civilize young people and just dump them out naively into the world, this is a worse disaster. So a certain amount of alienation and resentment is inevitable--this is the price of consciousness" (27).
"Our desire to be taken care of and protected is understandable, but bowing to dependence is a refusal to grow up, an abrogation of our full potential" (53).
"It is important to remember that complexes begin as adaptive strategies; they are aimed to produce logistical outcomes based on the core ideas and premises at the time they are formed. But what worked as yesterday's solution often becomes today's problem simply because it is so one-sided. The patterns you have adopted in the first half of life are reference points, providing a baseline for organizing your experience. Too often they become obstacles for further development" (62).
"It is curious how modern people will go to almost any lengths to stay busy and thereby avoid examining unlived life. Contemporary people have a nearly insatiable appetite for amusements and addictions--to drugs, food, television, shopping, wealth, power, and all the other diversions of our culture. For many years I believed that our avoidance of soulful engagement is the result of a fear of being overtaken by 'uncivilized' qualities from the unconscious. But I have come to understand that we resist our highest potentials even more persistently than we reject our so-called primitive energies" (66).
"Unlived life will be projected onto others to the extent that it is unrecognized. What you devalue and reject in yourself you will criticize and castigate others for. What you fear in yourself you will fight or flee in others. What you lack in yourself you will depend upon others to provide" (68).
"To suffer creatively is simply to allow what is, to stop fighting it, and instead to affirm your life. Creative suffering is allowing what is and saying 'yes!' Such experience is redemptive in that it leads to healing and self-knowledge. If you can honestly assess what is true in your life, looking at it with objectivity and intelligence, you are getting closer to enlightenment, as your escape mechanism is diminished. By stating what is at any moment, with complete honesty and sincerity, you become conscious of it" (202-203).
"Our desire to be taken care of and protected is understandable, but bowing to dependence is a refusal to grow up, an abrogation of our full potential" (53).
"It is important to remember that complexes begin as adaptive strategies; they are aimed to produce logistical outcomes based on the core ideas and premises at the time they are formed. But what worked as yesterday's solution often becomes today's problem simply because it is so one-sided. The patterns you have adopted in the first half of life are reference points, providing a baseline for organizing your experience. Too often they become obstacles for further development" (62).
"It is curious how modern people will go to almost any lengths to stay busy and thereby avoid examining unlived life. Contemporary people have a nearly insatiable appetite for amusements and addictions--to drugs, food, television, shopping, wealth, power, and all the other diversions of our culture. For many years I believed that our avoidance of soulful engagement is the result of a fear of being overtaken by 'uncivilized' qualities from the unconscious. But I have come to understand that we resist our highest potentials even more persistently than we reject our so-called primitive energies" (66).
"Unlived life will be projected onto others to the extent that it is unrecognized. What you devalue and reject in yourself you will criticize and castigate others for. What you fear in yourself you will fight or flee in others. What you lack in yourself you will depend upon others to provide" (68).
"To suffer creatively is simply to allow what is, to stop fighting it, and instead to affirm your life. Creative suffering is allowing what is and saying 'yes!' Such experience is redemptive in that it leads to healing and self-knowledge. If you can honestly assess what is true in your life, looking at it with objectivity and intelligence, you are getting closer to enlightenment, as your escape mechanism is diminished. By stating what is at any moment, with complete honesty and sincerity, you become conscious of it" (202-203).
May 23, 2024
As far as self help books, this was a little more tolerable than most. The anecdotes were ridiculously simplified though - a man uses women for sex for years, bragging about it until he discovers art and then can channel that energy into something creative!
It goes into a lot of things I have been doing for years naturally, but I guess for a typical person who focuses on external things like friends, family, work, disassociating from their inner parts and keeping them in their unconscious seems natural, whereas all I've had for company for years are my parts, so mine are extremely conscious - I'm almost TOO self-aware. The author goes on to say that for every choice we make, there is the unlived choice we didn't make and suggests spending time with the jealous, angry, greedy (negative) parts we try to push down and ignore - they don't go away. For me however, the parts I've never experienced are love, acceptance, belonging, and I can't figure out a way to channel that energy so I no longer crave wanting to experience those things. Or figuring out a way to give them myself. Or figure out a way to reach out to others and have them understand that's what I'm needing, because they are unlived, they are misinterpreted by others and my need is offputting - leading to even more rejection and abandonment.
Mostly everything in the book is framed through the Gemini myth of Castor and Pollux, where we have all been split asunder and are searching for our other half - only to discover it's part of ourselves all along. Self love and talking to myself devoid of touch...and I have to make peace and accept, instead of being passive and simply acknowledging a lifetime of isolation - not very helpful at all, but I suppose helpful of others who have gone through their lives focusing on material things in efforts to find happiness.
It goes into a lot of things I have been doing for years naturally, but I guess for a typical person who focuses on external things like friends, family, work, disassociating from their inner parts and keeping them in their unconscious seems natural, whereas all I've had for company for years are my parts, so mine are extremely conscious - I'm almost TOO self-aware. The author goes on to say that for every choice we make, there is the unlived choice we didn't make and suggests spending time with the jealous, angry, greedy (negative) parts we try to push down and ignore - they don't go away. For me however, the parts I've never experienced are love, acceptance, belonging, and I can't figure out a way to channel that energy so I no longer crave wanting to experience those things. Or figuring out a way to give them myself. Or figure out a way to reach out to others and have them understand that's what I'm needing, because they are unlived, they are misinterpreted by others and my need is offputting - leading to even more rejection and abandonment.
Mostly everything in the book is framed through the Gemini myth of Castor and Pollux, where we have all been split asunder and are searching for our other half - only to discover it's part of ourselves all along. Self love and talking to myself devoid of touch...and I have to make peace and accept, instead of being passive and simply acknowledging a lifetime of isolation - not very helpful at all, but I suppose helpful of others who have gone through their lives focusing on material things in efforts to find happiness.
November 2, 2014
the book has a different taste.It was mainly written for audience who are in their mid-life but its helpful for everybody.Just like its stated in the book title,the book aims to make you fulfill your life and live unchosen parts of life.It claims that when we make a decision,we lose other options.So,they make us feel incomplete.We should play with them via imagination and creative thinking.I liked the book but I think,working on your imagination that hard with guidance could be harmful.Techniques should be more clear.Also,the idea that conflict are necessary for ego is my favourite.its a good book.
June 30, 2013
essential book for anyone experiencing crises in mid life or during any period of intense transition into a new segment of life. helpful in therapy as well, and i encourage any therapist to engage this text and others by this author, particularly "Owning Your Own Shadow."
May 11, 2017
اگرچه در بخش های ابتدایی کتاب مسئله بحران میانسالی از دیدی نوین تحلیل می شود، در ادامه کتاب به راه حل عملی و کاربردی برای حل این بحران نمی پردازد. به هر حال خواندن این کتاب خالی از لطف نیست اما اگر روانشناس باشید انتظار دارید با چیزی بیش از این روبرو شوید!
January 6, 2008
I learned quite a lot about Jungian ideas, but the author's approach was not helpful to me.
September 22, 2009
Great mid-life crisis book.
March 2, 2010
Still digging into it. Not as powerful so far as his own autobiography. His choice of Greek archetypes doesn't resonate with me as much as some of his other works.
November 9, 2010
A bit too heavy on the Jungian analysis for me, but I liked the author's message of kindness and compassion toward one's self.
September 17, 2012
I like it but not nearly as compelling as his "Inner Work". The language is geared towards the novice or individual new to psychological language.
May 8, 2016
Good old time tales
June 18, 2017
Not very helpful. Makes some sense but that's all.
April 18, 2018
اصلا كتاب جالبي نبود به نظر من...
يه جاهايي يه چيزاي خوبي داره ولي ارزش وقتي كه براش ميذاري نداره..
يه جاهايي يه چيزاي خوبي داره ولي ارزش وقتي كه براش ميذاري نداره..
February 8, 2023
*The myth is the legitimization of life… only through and in it does life find self-awareness, sanction, consecration pg. 8
*Intelligence, as measured in modern society, is learning to pay attention to the “right” things pg. 20
*It is a painful fact that a good deal or what passes for romance is actually our own unloved live reflected back to us pg. 35
*Most of us work so hard to obtain an identity that it becomes very hard to let it go pg. 53
*Most of what remains undeveloped in us, psychologically speaking, is excluded because it is too good to bear pg. 66
*Upanishads - “By standing still we overtake those who are running” pg. 73
*The Living Symbol: How can I do it (express the unlived life), while simultaneously not doing it? Pg. 105
*Imagine that right now there is no more time. Then you can begin to truly live pg. 162
*To play is to foster richness of response, to reinterpret reality, to experience life in unforeseen ways. Pure play is different from a game, such as football, which has rules and a definite goal pg. 174
*If you destroy the ego, you are psychotic, not enlightened. Apply the ego as the organ of awareness rather than the organ of decision making pg. 179
*Jung once said the medieval mentality is either/or, but if humanity is to survive, we must learn to cope with both/and pg. 199
*It’s not what you do in life that is most important; rather, it’s a question of what consciousness you bring to the activity pg. 201
*There is only one paradise, and it was never lost or gained. You have Heaven in your hands all the time. It is not some other time, another place, a different condition. You have the whole of paradise with you now, total, complete, and paid for. You must only clarify your vision to see it. pg. 225
*Intelligence, as measured in modern society, is learning to pay attention to the “right” things pg. 20
*It is a painful fact that a good deal or what passes for romance is actually our own unloved live reflected back to us pg. 35
*Most of us work so hard to obtain an identity that it becomes very hard to let it go pg. 53
*Most of what remains undeveloped in us, psychologically speaking, is excluded because it is too good to bear pg. 66
*Upanishads - “By standing still we overtake those who are running” pg. 73
*The Living Symbol: How can I do it (express the unlived life), while simultaneously not doing it? Pg. 105
*Imagine that right now there is no more time. Then you can begin to truly live pg. 162
*To play is to foster richness of response, to reinterpret reality, to experience life in unforeseen ways. Pure play is different from a game, such as football, which has rules and a definite goal pg. 174
*If you destroy the ego, you are psychotic, not enlightened. Apply the ego as the organ of awareness rather than the organ of decision making pg. 179
*Jung once said the medieval mentality is either/or, but if humanity is to survive, we must learn to cope with both/and pg. 199
*It’s not what you do in life that is most important; rather, it’s a question of what consciousness you bring to the activity pg. 201
*There is only one paradise, and it was never lost or gained. You have Heaven in your hands all the time. It is not some other time, another place, a different condition. You have the whole of paradise with you now, total, complete, and paid for. You must only clarify your vision to see it. pg. 225
July 16, 2022
We always expect someone to fulfill our wishes but they bring disappointment.
We expect children to put their best efforts into our untouched ideas but they fail.
We always wanted our spouse to fill our unlived portion and also expect our children to live our unlived life. They bring disappointment.
Our entire emotional imbalance caused by unlived life.
Once we start our life we will encounter two paths in front of us and one we choose to travel but the other also travel with us as an unlived life. It is submerged in our subconscious and creates all sorts of emotional trouble in outer space.
Author was good at explaining the causes of trouble created by unlived life but that's a way everyone lives in this world.
He suggests certain exercises to overcome but it is like you missed your Bus long back and now you are boarding to compensate for such and it is not possible and also looks absurd.
The unlived life is a sweet memory of missed life that is needed to be enjoyed in the later world. If you don't have an unlived life, you don't have anything to chew on in your old age.
Your spouse or childrens are nothing but to impose your unlived life and may be one way of living vicariously.
Few chapters are awesome and others are just fillers.
We expect children to put their best efforts into our untouched ideas but they fail.
We always wanted our spouse to fill our unlived portion and also expect our children to live our unlived life. They bring disappointment.
Our entire emotional imbalance caused by unlived life.
Once we start our life we will encounter two paths in front of us and one we choose to travel but the other also travel with us as an unlived life. It is submerged in our subconscious and creates all sorts of emotional trouble in outer space.
Author was good at explaining the causes of trouble created by unlived life but that's a way everyone lives in this world.
He suggests certain exercises to overcome but it is like you missed your Bus long back and now you are boarding to compensate for such and it is not possible and also looks absurd.
The unlived life is a sweet memory of missed life that is needed to be enjoyed in the later world. If you don't have an unlived life, you don't have anything to chew on in your old age.
Your spouse or childrens are nothing but to impose your unlived life and may be one way of living vicariously.
Few chapters are awesome and others are just fillers.
November 30, 2024
Chef’s kiss 🤌
One thought that occurred to me while reading was how much these concepts reminded me of Richard’s Rohr’s writing. The themes in Falling Upward obviously correlate most specifically, but really you find Jungian concepts in all of Rohr’s writing. He definitely mentions Jung, but it had never really connected for me before how similar the messages were. No surprise that I love both so much… but the ego part of me wishes I had some well-defined label and roadmap for this particular type of religion/spirituality. It feels like I just keep following the clues and put together the pieces of the puzzle as I go. It’s probably more rewarding this way, but sometimes I just wish it could all be spelt out for me.
One thought that occurred to me while reading was how much these concepts reminded me of Richard’s Rohr’s writing. The themes in Falling Upward obviously correlate most specifically, but really you find Jungian concepts in all of Rohr’s writing. He definitely mentions Jung, but it had never really connected for me before how similar the messages were. No surprise that I love both so much… but the ego part of me wishes I had some well-defined label and roadmap for this particular type of religion/spirituality. It feels like I just keep following the clues and put together the pieces of the puzzle as I go. It’s probably more rewarding this way, but sometimes I just wish it could all be spelt out for me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews