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Pretty Broken #4
Pretty F*cked
Caspian Locke
I don’t think we even begin to understand love until we’ve lost the one we thought we’d spend the rest of our life with.
I don’t think we begin to understand ourselves until we realize that it’s most likely our fault.
And I don’t think we begin to understand life until we understand it comes in so many shades of gray.
You can be a good person and still do irrevocable harm.
Life is messy, so fucking messy.
I hate it.
Or maybe I hate myself.
I thought for a long time I hated him.
But I can’t hate Iris.
No matter how much he hurts, I still carry this little fucking wish in the depths of my soul that one day he’ll forgive me and admit he still loves me.
Part of life is living with the burden of what I’ve done and waiting for a day that will never come.
This is that life.
And we all come out Pretty F*cked.
I don’t think we even begin to understand love until we’ve lost the one we thought we’d spend the rest of our life with.
I don’t think we begin to understand ourselves until we realize that it’s most likely our fault.
And I don’t think we begin to understand life until we understand it comes in so many shades of gray.
You can be a good person and still do irrevocable harm.
Life is messy, so fucking messy.
I hate it.
Or maybe I hate myself.
I thought for a long time I hated him.
But I can’t hate Iris.
No matter how much he hurts, I still carry this little fucking wish in the depths of my soul that one day he’ll forgive me and admit he still loves me.
Part of life is living with the burden of what I’ve done and waiting for a day that will never come.
This is that life.
And we all come out Pretty F*cked.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 27, 2023
165 people are currently reading
585 people want to read
About the author
J.R. Gray
58 books1,288 followersWhen not staying up all night writing, J.R. Gray can be found at the gym where it's half assumed he is a permanent resident to fulfill his self-inflicted masochism. A dominant and a pilot, Gray finds it hard to be in the passenger seat of any car. He frequently interrupts real life, including normal sleep patterns and conversations, to jot down notes or plot bunnies. Commas are the bane of his existence even though it's been fully acknowledged they are necessary, they continue to baffle and bewilder. If Gray wasn't writing…well, that's not possible. The buildup of untold stories would haunt Gray into an early grave, insanity or both. The idea of haunting has always appealed to him. J.R. Gray is genderqueer and prefers he/him pronouns.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 143 reviews
April 29, 2023
✰ 3.5 stars ✰
“And I didn’t think I was alone. How I was lucky enough to find him, I’d never known, but he breathed life into my lungs and held me through my fear. He came in like a storm but sheltered me from the rain. I’ll never get over him. And I never want to.”
Based off the Author's Note, I know that Pretty F*cked is a very personal writing experience for them - so I will certainly try not to be too critical or judgmental in my review, rather than just focusing on the points that stood out for me in a fair manner.
Firstly, the writing - it might not appeal to some - the very quick exchange in dialogue without crediting who is speaking, the swift transitions of non-linear narrative, but it didn't seem to bother me too much. There were definitely some typing errors that could have easily been fixed with some quick revisions - but I tried to ignore them and focus on the story.
There's a --- very rapid pace to the story - sometimes I think it's intentional to show the downward emotional spiral Iris has been on since when he first met Caspian seven years ago and became best friends. 😥😥 The prologue, itself, sets the stage for an impeding critical and crucial moment in their lives that makes you know that it's going to come to a tumultuous climax.
“No.” I only found more hurt in another form.
“We can figure this out.” His breath fanned over my neck, and my skin came alive.
Flesh remembered. Flesh knew not the peril of the heart nor the anxiety of the brain.”
Since it's previous part, Iris Black has fascinated me and having certain scenes from the past shown through his eyes and mindset was very interesting and offered a lot more insight into those moments. He's such a broken and talented soul - so full of passion for his craft, but marred by the expectations and requirements imposed upon him by his overbearing manager. 😟
Not to mention, the betrayal of a loved one, the sting of still being in loved with his first love, and harboring the guilt of his brother's suicide. 💔💔 He really was a troubled soul and it was so difficult to see how much he was grieving, how much pain he was putting himself through - willingly and unwittingly.
“As devastated as I ever thought I could be,
I’d still give you any piece of me.
And I’m left with the kaleidoscope of useless memory
A mosaic of what’s left of me.”
This book dealt a lot with some very heavy issues - drugs, addiction, mental health, suicide thoughts, ill-advised sexual activities - the fact that it started off with a threesome should have made me exit right then and there, but seeing how it was the one and only one and served as a catalyst for their future developments made me plough on. 😔
“And when the time for the chorus came again, he shared the mic with me. We sang it together, eyes locked. And that was the second time I fell in love with Iris Rose. It started slow but ended like an avalanche, burying me alive.”
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate Caspian - the poor guy was trying so hard - just caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, making decisions in the desperate attempt to save the one he loves - placing his trust in people who thought wanted what was best for him and his group. 😢 The lengths he tried to convince Iris that he wanted to be forgiven - hoped to be forgiven - were painful and still hopeful to watch.
“Because I don’t want you to hate me like I hate me.” I was terrified of letting him in. “How can I let you love me when I don’t love me? It’s not fair to you.”
“You let me worry about what’s good for me.”
Their romance itself was so volatile and such a whirlwind - jealousy of not being the only one, possessiveness to be the only - matching tattoos to solidify their bond - that one scene in the recording room where Iris sang as he went down on him. ❤️🔥❤️🔥 Such intimate happiness in the brief sparse moments they shared that even under the guise of hate and sting of betrayal, there is the warmth of a deep love - a craving, an addictive desire for each other.
But, despite all the heat and passion, there was also the pain and silent grief - for "there is nothing worse than watching the person you love destroy themselves. I knew what I witnessed. His slow decline." They loved each other so much, and it hurt them both just to know that they saw each other at their highest peak and their lowest points - and being entirely helpless to help the other out of their misery.
“Who he fucked. Who he loved. What he said or did. I didn’t want to feel a thing when his name came across my life. I wanted to feel nothing.
“I love you.” Caspian’s saying that hurt more.
“Don’t say that like you’re putting it in my face.”
“I’ll fucking say it if I want to say it, and I’ll always wish it was returned.”
Their manager, Alexander (ugh, how I wish he would just back away from them!), I've loathed since his ill-treatment of Alister from before, and this time it grated on me even more! 😡😡The next part is tentatively titled Pretty Black and seeing how the book literally ended in a limbo for their relationship, makes me cautiously anticipate that the story will once again continue and conclude with Iris and Caspian's story. For now, enjoy this heart-breaking moment that tore through my heart - yearning with all my heart - that they'll get their happily ever after that they so desperately deserve. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
“The first time?” I almost believed him. Caspian lived his life in rose- colored glasses only wealth could provide. “If I could go back and prevent you from ever falling in love with me to save you this pain, I would.”
“You can’t. The first time was the night we met.” He breathed through a sob. “It’s been so many times over, I don’t think you could prevent it even if I gave you a road map of my heart. Each one was different and distinct. They’re burned into my memory.”
“You haven’t always loved me. You’ve hated me, too.”
“You’re right. I’ve hated you, lusted after you, despised you, was jealous of you, and every emotion in between. Some deserved, some not. We’ve run the full spectrum of emotions over the last six years, but I don’t want to exist in a world you don’t, Iris.
It would be unbearable.”
🥺🥺🥺
“And I didn’t think I was alone. How I was lucky enough to find him, I’d never known, but he breathed life into my lungs and held me through my fear. He came in like a storm but sheltered me from the rain. I’ll never get over him. And I never want to.”
Based off the Author's Note, I know that Pretty F*cked is a very personal writing experience for them - so I will certainly try not to be too critical or judgmental in my review, rather than just focusing on the points that stood out for me in a fair manner.
Firstly, the writing - it might not appeal to some - the very quick exchange in dialogue without crediting who is speaking, the swift transitions of non-linear narrative, but it didn't seem to bother me too much. There were definitely some typing errors that could have easily been fixed with some quick revisions - but I tried to ignore them and focus on the story.
There's a --- very rapid pace to the story - sometimes I think it's intentional to show the downward emotional spiral Iris has been on since when he first met Caspian seven years ago and became best friends. 😥😥 The prologue, itself, sets the stage for an impeding critical and crucial moment in their lives that makes you know that it's going to come to a tumultuous climax.
“No.” I only found more hurt in another form.
“We can figure this out.” His breath fanned over my neck, and my skin came alive.
Flesh remembered. Flesh knew not the peril of the heart nor the anxiety of the brain.”
Since it's previous part, Iris Black has fascinated me and having certain scenes from the past shown through his eyes and mindset was very interesting and offered a lot more insight into those moments. He's such a broken and talented soul - so full of passion for his craft, but marred by the expectations and requirements imposed upon him by his overbearing manager. 😟
Not to mention, the betrayal of a loved one, the sting of still being in loved with his first love, and harboring the guilt of his brother's suicide. 💔💔 He really was a troubled soul and it was so difficult to see how much he was grieving, how much pain he was putting himself through - willingly and unwittingly.
“As devastated as I ever thought I could be,
I’d still give you any piece of me.
And I’m left with the kaleidoscope of useless memory
A mosaic of what’s left of me.”
This book dealt a lot with some very heavy issues - drugs, addiction, mental health, suicide thoughts, ill-advised sexual activities - the fact that it started off with a threesome should have made me exit right then and there, but seeing how it was the one and only one and served as a catalyst for their future developments made me plough on. 😔
“And when the time for the chorus came again, he shared the mic with me. We sang it together, eyes locked. And that was the second time I fell in love with Iris Rose. It started slow but ended like an avalanche, burying me alive.”
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate Caspian - the poor guy was trying so hard - just caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, making decisions in the desperate attempt to save the one he loves - placing his trust in people who thought wanted what was best for him and his group. 😢 The lengths he tried to convince Iris that he wanted to be forgiven - hoped to be forgiven - were painful and still hopeful to watch.
“Because I don’t want you to hate me like I hate me.” I was terrified of letting him in. “How can I let you love me when I don’t love me? It’s not fair to you.”
“You let me worry about what’s good for me.”
Their romance itself was so volatile and such a whirlwind - jealousy of not being the only one, possessiveness to be the only - matching tattoos to solidify their bond - that one scene in the recording room where Iris sang as he went down on him. ❤️🔥❤️🔥 Such intimate happiness in the brief sparse moments they shared that even under the guise of hate and sting of betrayal, there is the warmth of a deep love - a craving, an addictive desire for each other.
But, despite all the heat and passion, there was also the pain and silent grief - for "there is nothing worse than watching the person you love destroy themselves. I knew what I witnessed. His slow decline." They loved each other so much, and it hurt them both just to know that they saw each other at their highest peak and their lowest points - and being entirely helpless to help the other out of their misery.
“Who he fucked. Who he loved. What he said or did. I didn’t want to feel a thing when his name came across my life. I wanted to feel nothing.
“I love you.” Caspian’s saying that hurt more.
“Don’t say that like you’re putting it in my face.”
“I’ll fucking say it if I want to say it, and I’ll always wish it was returned.”
Their manager, Alexander (ugh, how I wish he would just back away from them!), I've loathed since his ill-treatment of Alister from before, and this time it grated on me even more! 😡😡The next part is tentatively titled Pretty Black and seeing how the book literally ended in a limbo for their relationship, makes me cautiously anticipate that the story will once again continue and conclude with Iris and Caspian's story. For now, enjoy this heart-breaking moment that tore through my heart - yearning with all my heart - that they'll get their happily ever after that they so desperately deserve. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
“The first time?” I almost believed him. Caspian lived his life in rose- colored glasses only wealth could provide. “If I could go back and prevent you from ever falling in love with me to save you this pain, I would.”
“You can’t. The first time was the night we met.” He breathed through a sob. “It’s been so many times over, I don’t think you could prevent it even if I gave you a road map of my heart. Each one was different and distinct. They’re burned into my memory.”
“You haven’t always loved me. You’ve hated me, too.”
“You’re right. I’ve hated you, lusted after you, despised you, was jealous of you, and every emotion in between. Some deserved, some not. We’ve run the full spectrum of emotions over the last six years, but I don’t want to exist in a world you don’t, Iris.
It would be unbearable.”
🥺🥺🥺
April 23, 2023
Finally the wait is over for Cas and Iris’ story, and wow, it’s a lot more fucking intense than I thought it would be.
This book is very dark in the way of mental health and how Iris deals with it, and how Cas on the outside tries to help the man he loves.
I must say my opinion of Iris changed in this book. I felt so much more for him, he in effect is bullied and taken advantage of in this, and I also have a few choice words for Cas. He fucked up. To be honest I feel the band as a whole failed Iris on some level. I want to take him away and protect him. His exhaustion of life was so palpable.
I’d say this relationship is borderline codependent and they actually have an addiction to eachother. It’s written with such conviction and clear knowledge that it is mentally draining. I just feel worn out by them.
I want bad things to happen to Alexander, like really bad things. I HATE him and he has zero chance of redeeming himself for me.
This book has just left me desperate to see these wonderful young men get their HEA and I need that ASAP. What a fabulous read this was.
This book is very dark in the way of mental health and how Iris deals with it, and how Cas on the outside tries to help the man he loves.
I must say my opinion of Iris changed in this book. I felt so much more for him, he in effect is bullied and taken advantage of in this, and I also have a few choice words for Cas. He fucked up. To be honest I feel the band as a whole failed Iris on some level. I want to take him away and protect him. His exhaustion of life was so palpable.
I’d say this relationship is borderline codependent and they actually have an addiction to eachother. It’s written with such conviction and clear knowledge that it is mentally draining. I just feel worn out by them.
I want bad things to happen to Alexander, like really bad things. I HATE him and he has zero chance of redeeming himself for me.
This book has just left me desperate to see these wonderful young men get their HEA and I need that ASAP. What a fabulous read this was.
May 1, 2023
First, this is a rant... And yes I know I only have myself to blame.
I told myself I wouldn't read this book after the last one... It was such a waste of time.
But, because sometimes im a big liar who lies, here I am.
I really don't understand where J. R are going with the story. Alexander feels like a villain that doesn't know why to villain.
Nothing we does makes sense. Until he started to behave like a scumbag the band liked him well enough, he would never loose them, he just needed to make them and the record label happy.
But all of the sudden, he just decided "I'm going to be bad" and that's it. He just was.
Pretty broken is supposed to be one of the most important, influential, famous band the world, but at the same time J.R want us to believe they didn't have choices? That they couldn't have a meeting at the record label and tell them they wouldn't work with Alex anymore?
If J. R told us the band was new, famous but not on that level, maybe I would buy it, all the manager problems, basically being kidnapped by him, and not talk about if for fear it will all crumble.
That's not the situation.
Yes is a book and suspended disbelief is a thing but a guy being a villain just because? That doesn't sit well with me.
Maybe in the next book she will give us a real reason for Alex to be a villain like being in love with Cas or something, something that justify being the devil to Iris.
I told myself I wouldn't read this book after the last one... It was such a waste of time.
But, because sometimes im a big liar who lies, here I am.
I really don't understand where J. R are going with the story. Alexander feels like a villain that doesn't know why to villain.
Nothing we does makes sense. Until he started to behave like a scumbag the band liked him well enough, he would never loose them, he just needed to make them and the record label happy.
But all of the sudden, he just decided "I'm going to be bad" and that's it. He just was.
Pretty broken is supposed to be one of the most important, influential, famous band the world, but at the same time J.R want us to believe they didn't have choices? That they couldn't have a meeting at the record label and tell them they wouldn't work with Alex anymore?
If J. R told us the band was new, famous but not on that level, maybe I would buy it, all the manager problems, basically being kidnapped by him, and not talk about if for fear it will all crumble.
That's not the situation.
Yes is a book and suspended disbelief is a thing but a guy being a villain just because? That doesn't sit well with me.
Maybe in the next book she will give us a real reason for Alex to be a villain like being in love with Cas or something, something that justify being the devil to Iris.
April 27, 2023
"He was gravity, and no one could help falling for him. It just didn’t last because, eventually, you hit the ground."
Pretty F*cked is the fourth book in J.R. Gray's Pretty Broken series about a band of young rock gods. The books can be read as standalones but they are part of a linked series and I would highly recommend that you read them in order, as there are so many references to the other characters in the series. Pretty F*cked basically picks up where Pretty Wreck left off in so far as the overall story ark is concerned. This is (finally!) Iris and Caspian's story.
This is probably the darkest in the series so far, which won't come as a shock to you if you've read the three previous books. Iris is all kinds of messed up and his relationship with fellow band member Caspian spans several years - years of lust and hate and betrayal and codependency and addiction and love. Always love.
Pretty F*cked is full of content that may be hard for some readers to deal with, so please do heed the author's warnings.
This is angsty, gritty, heart-breaking goodness and despite the tough content I loved it.
4-4.5 stars 🖤
Pretty F*cked is the fourth book in J.R. Gray's Pretty Broken series about a band of young rock gods. The books can be read as standalones but they are part of a linked series and I would highly recommend that you read them in order, as there are so many references to the other characters in the series. Pretty F*cked basically picks up where Pretty Wreck left off in so far as the overall story ark is concerned. This is (finally!) Iris and Caspian's story.
This is probably the darkest in the series so far, which won't come as a shock to you if you've read the three previous books. Iris is all kinds of messed up and his relationship with fellow band member Caspian spans several years - years of lust and hate and betrayal and codependency and addiction and love. Always love.
Pretty F*cked is full of content that may be hard for some readers to deal with, so please do heed the author's warnings.
This is angsty, gritty, heart-breaking goodness and despite the tough content I loved it.
4-4.5 stars 🖤
August 25, 2023
4/5 stars
I am fucking sobbing.
”You were meant to be mine, and if this is all the time we get, I am thankful for every minute. I’ve loved you for every single one of them.”
I covered my mouth to muffle my sob. “I’ve made your life hell.”
“No, Iris, you have been the highlight of my existence.”
I am fucking sobbing.
June 5, 2025
Iris siempre ha sido sensible. Su pasado lo marco. Su familia, su hermano Marc, su imposibilidad para sentirse amado. Pero cuando se da cuenta que su relación con Caspian puede ser mas, se da por entero a ello. Sin embargo, su vida sigue siendo muy difícil, sigue sintiéndose vacío, sigue queriendo olvidar. Solo su música, su promesa a su hermano y sus pocos momentos con Caspian son los que lo mantienen vivo. Así que cuando los demás de la banda se dan cuenta de como son prisioneros de su manager, y comienzan a darle la razón, vuelve a tener una familia. Pero será eso suficiente? Podrán liberarse de la prisión de su manager? Podrá mantener a Caspian a su lado? Quien sufrirá en el proceso?
UUffff, si quieres leer un libro lleno de angustia, miedo y rabia, este es el libro. Ni siquiera tienes que leer los libros anteriores de la serie para saber que esta pasando (ya que aquí repiten varias de las escenas donde esta Iris o Caspian). Pero si tienen que prepararse para odiar al manager y a la industria de la música al completo. No hay forma que el autor no tenga experiencia en este tipo de contratos, o por lo menos no este bien informado al respecto. Como tampoco hay forma de que no tenga conocimiento en los estados depresivos causados por el estrés o el trauma.
En fin, es un libro bastante difícil de leer en muchos aspectos, pero en otros te deja pensando el porque la existencia de tantos abusos en un medio que vende la fantasía de que ser famoso es ser feliz. Así que si, quiero saber como va a terminar esta odisea con el manager, quiero saber cual va a ser el felices por siempre de estos chicos, y como va Iris a sobrevivir a todo esto.
UUffff, si quieres leer un libro lleno de angustia, miedo y rabia, este es el libro. Ni siquiera tienes que leer los libros anteriores de la serie para saber que esta pasando (ya que aquí repiten varias de las escenas donde esta Iris o Caspian). Pero si tienen que prepararse para odiar al manager y a la industria de la música al completo. No hay forma que el autor no tenga experiencia en este tipo de contratos, o por lo menos no este bien informado al respecto. Como tampoco hay forma de que no tenga conocimiento en los estados depresivos causados por el estrés o el trauma.
En fin, es un libro bastante difícil de leer en muchos aspectos, pero en otros te deja pensando el porque la existencia de tantos abusos en un medio que vende la fantasía de que ser famoso es ser feliz. Así que si, quiero saber como va a terminar esta odisea con el manager, quiero saber cual va a ser el felices por siempre de estos chicos, y como va Iris a sobrevivir a todo esto.
Read
May 5, 2023A Joyfully Jay review.
No Rating
Pretty F*ucked is book 4 in J.R. Gray’s Pretty Broken series; it forms a duology with the next book, Pretty Black, and first three books focus on different characters in Iris and Caspian’s band. I read the blurb and was immediately intrigued by the set-up. The idea that two lovers were torn apart because one of them betrayed the other and now the character who did the betraying somehow has to make peace with maybe never getting back together? That’s angst on a level I could not refuse.
When the blog was offered a copy of the duology for review purposes, we clarified with the author’s representative whether these two stories could stand alone and were assured that it was not necessary to read the prior books in the series in order to enjoy and understand this one. However, when I started the book, it became clear that this story doesn’t stand alone after all. The more I read, the more I realized these characters have rich backstories not included in this book. This made it incredibly difficult to review the story as written, as I was coming from a place of having none of the backstory and my feelings about the book would be, at least to some degree, influenced by all that I was missing. Given that, we made the decision that I would share my thoughts on the story, but not provide an official rating.
Read Camille’s review in its entirety here.
No Rating
Pretty F*ucked is book 4 in J.R. Gray’s Pretty Broken series; it forms a duology with the next book, Pretty Black, and first three books focus on different characters in Iris and Caspian’s band. I read the blurb and was immediately intrigued by the set-up. The idea that two lovers were torn apart because one of them betrayed the other and now the character who did the betraying somehow has to make peace with maybe never getting back together? That’s angst on a level I could not refuse.
When the blog was offered a copy of the duology for review purposes, we clarified with the author’s representative whether these two stories could stand alone and were assured that it was not necessary to read the prior books in the series in order to enjoy and understand this one. However, when I started the book, it became clear that this story doesn’t stand alone after all. The more I read, the more I realized these characters have rich backstories not included in this book. This made it incredibly difficult to review the story as written, as I was coming from a place of having none of the backstory and my feelings about the book would be, at least to some degree, influenced by all that I was missing. Given that, we made the decision that I would share my thoughts on the story, but not provide an official rating.
Read Camille’s review in its entirety here.
July 2, 2023
The Story I’ve Been Waiting For!!
I have been patiently waiting to finally FINALLY get the enigmatic Iris and Caspian’s story. Throughout the other books in the series we have gotten glimpses of their relationship and Iris’s tumultuous relationship with his mental health. I knew their story would be heavy but I was still NOT prepared for it. Beautiful writing and JR Gray’s storytelling ability is unmatched. I look forward to reading Pretty Black to see how their story concludes.
I have been patiently waiting to finally FINALLY get the enigmatic Iris and Caspian’s story. Throughout the other books in the series we have gotten glimpses of their relationship and Iris’s tumultuous relationship with his mental health. I knew their story would be heavy but I was still NOT prepared for it. Beautiful writing and JR Gray’s storytelling ability is unmatched. I look forward to reading Pretty Black to see how their story concludes.
April 23, 2023
I have been obsessed with J.R Gray's Pretty Broken series and I was waiting for Cas & Iris's story, here we are by the first book from the duet " Pretty F*cked " which shows their story during the timeline of Pretty Wreck and their past before Pretty Obsessed. Can I just say how beautifully Gray writes his stories and characters?
"The more the fans saw of Iris, the more they wanted. It was a strange thing to witness someone become immortal."
I could relate to this quote because, from the first book, I was kinda intrigued to know about Iris's story; his hatred towards Cas even when you could feel how much they loved each other. Iris's pain was so well-written you could feel it through the words and once again Gray has taken away my breath with how well he wrote the chapters that depicted Iris's pain and how he was struggling to be there for Cas and his band even before they broke up. I loved how Cas never gave up on Iris and wanted him to forgive him so they could be together and yes I kinda hated him when he defended Alexander for how he treated Iris. Seriously, Alexander was such a character that I hated throughout this series (that's how well Gray has written him). I loved Cas & Iris's little moments when they were lost in each other and their first meet AHHHHH
“Do you believe in fate?”
“If it involves you, I do.”
I loved all the poetic lyrics written and the songs were so well written you could feel the pain & love through them.
It’s a privilege to love you, Iris, and all your pieces. You will never be too much for me.
I am not ready to say goodbye to this series; I know there is still one book left and I kinda want to see how it goes in Pretty Black because I know Gray is not going to disappoint us and I can feel it's going to be even better than this one.
"The more the fans saw of Iris, the more they wanted. It was a strange thing to witness someone become immortal."
I could relate to this quote because, from the first book, I was kinda intrigued to know about Iris's story; his hatred towards Cas even when you could feel how much they loved each other. Iris's pain was so well-written you could feel it through the words and once again Gray has taken away my breath with how well he wrote the chapters that depicted Iris's pain and how he was struggling to be there for Cas and his band even before they broke up. I loved how Cas never gave up on Iris and wanted him to forgive him so they could be together and yes I kinda hated him when he defended Alexander for how he treated Iris. Seriously, Alexander was such a character that I hated throughout this series (that's how well Gray has written him). I loved Cas & Iris's little moments when they were lost in each other and their first meet AHHHHH
“Do you believe in fate?”
“If it involves you, I do.”
I loved all the poetic lyrics written and the songs were so well written you could feel the pain & love through them.
It’s a privilege to love you, Iris, and all your pieces. You will never be too much for me.
I am not ready to say goodbye to this series; I know there is still one book left and I kinda want to see how it goes in Pretty Black because I know Gray is not going to disappoint us and I can feel it's going to be even better than this one.
August 3, 2023
ME - I’m Pretty Shattered
These two guys wrecked me with their struggles together, and I loved the way the guys in the band all had each others backs and tried to help.
I hated Alexander the control freak and enabler. Hopefully there isn’t anyone like him involved in the Management of Entertainers, where their excessive controlling behaviour and expectations can destroy those they should be protecting and supporting.
Several times I had to stop reading Iris and Caspian struggles it just got to me, but I just couldn’t not finish it. But light appeared at the end of the tunnel so I’m now looking forward to reading the sequel.
TW, there were so many sure fire triggers here, family member’s suicide, drug abuse, bullying, off page parental neglect and abuse, possible suicide ideation on page.
Reading the fiction of Iris and Caspian was heartbreaking enough, but WOW, I really feel for the author who wrote ‘Pretty F**ked’ because they lived through some of those experiences.
I’ve read all in this series so far so I’m now going straight to ‘Pretty Black’ which picks up on Caspian and Iris further into their story.
My heart is hoping for a HEA for these two guys, they so deserve it.
These two guys wrecked me with their struggles together, and I loved the way the guys in the band all had each others backs and tried to help.
I hated Alexander the control freak and enabler. Hopefully there isn’t anyone like him involved in the Management of Entertainers, where their excessive controlling behaviour and expectations can destroy those they should be protecting and supporting.
Several times I had to stop reading Iris and Caspian struggles it just got to me, but I just couldn’t not finish it. But light appeared at the end of the tunnel so I’m now looking forward to reading the sequel.
TW, there were so many sure fire triggers here, family member’s suicide, drug abuse, bullying, off page parental neglect and abuse, possible suicide ideation on page.
Reading the fiction of Iris and Caspian was heartbreaking enough, but WOW, I really feel for the author who wrote ‘Pretty F**ked’ because they lived through some of those experiences.
I’ve read all in this series so far so I’m now going straight to ‘Pretty Black’ which picks up on Caspian and Iris further into their story.
My heart is hoping for a HEA for these two guys, they so deserve it.
May 15, 2023
deeply emotional and full of love
This is Caspian and Iris’s story, and it’s as emotional and heartbreaking as we thought it would be. We get the backstory on the trauma that made Iris into who is now and how much he struggles everyday. Though his struggles started long before Cas and Pretty Broken, it’s not helping, and he can barely see the worth in his success. Caspian can’t relate to what Iris has been through, and it seems that the more he tries to help Iris, the worst things get. The band as a whole is also in a terrible situation that’s only getting worse, and everyone is at their wits end.
This is a difficult read but an important one, as Iris shows how hard it truly is to live with a mental illness, especially for someone who has to do it in the public eye. My heart absolutely breaks for him, and it’s so real how hard it is to keep going through the days while depression is eating you whole. The ending is ambiguous, and I think it had to end that way to get the full scope of where Iris is at this point in his life.
This is Caspian and Iris’s story, and it’s as emotional and heartbreaking as we thought it would be. We get the backstory on the trauma that made Iris into who is now and how much he struggles everyday. Though his struggles started long before Cas and Pretty Broken, it’s not helping, and he can barely see the worth in his success. Caspian can’t relate to what Iris has been through, and it seems that the more he tries to help Iris, the worst things get. The band as a whole is also in a terrible situation that’s only getting worse, and everyone is at their wits end.
This is a difficult read but an important one, as Iris shows how hard it truly is to live with a mental illness, especially for someone who has to do it in the public eye. My heart absolutely breaks for him, and it’s so real how hard it is to keep going through the days while depression is eating you whole. The ending is ambiguous, and I think it had to end that way to get the full scope of where Iris is at this point in his life.
April 29, 2023
The way in which this book starts, you can really tell that there is a lot of pain, a lot of struggles for everyone involved. It deals with some fairly dark, heavy topics that you should be mindful of going in. That being said, if you can handle it, then you really need to read this book.
This is the darker side of the music industry. Iris is really struggling with life. He feels like everyone is against him.
He feels betrayed, he feels alone, he needs music more than he needs air and now it's all so suffocating. It is quite a heavy and emotional read and the author has done a pretty great job of capturing how it feels to feel all up in your head and struggle to get out
This is a story about the struggles of fame. Of trying to balance everything and being able to deal with and handle notoriety. It's hard to trust, to let people in because you don't know what they want from you.
This is about one person trying to do anything to help the person they love. This author has captured the feelings and emotions so easily that you can feel the struggles.
To see what they go through is hard, the way they get treated.
As someone who has struggled with mental health issues, I found myself relating to Iris. People want to help you, but they don't know how, and you don't know how they can help either, because you don't even know. All you do is exist but you're not really living.
This is book 1 and my first book by this author and my first MM romance and it I loved it, thank you.
This is the darker side of the music industry. Iris is really struggling with life. He feels like everyone is against him.
He feels betrayed, he feels alone, he needs music more than he needs air and now it's all so suffocating. It is quite a heavy and emotional read and the author has done a pretty great job of capturing how it feels to feel all up in your head and struggle to get out
This is a story about the struggles of fame. Of trying to balance everything and being able to deal with and handle notoriety. It's hard to trust, to let people in because you don't know what they want from you.
This is about one person trying to do anything to help the person they love. This author has captured the feelings and emotions so easily that you can feel the struggles.
To see what they go through is hard, the way they get treated.
As someone who has struggled with mental health issues, I found myself relating to Iris. People want to help you, but they don't know how, and you don't know how they can help either, because you don't even know. All you do is exist but you're not really living.
This is book 1 and my first book by this author and my first MM romance and it I loved it, thank you.
April 30, 2023
Iris writes his anxiety and depression into lyrics, it felt like screaming, he struggles every day, every hour, he’s destructive, the desperation was so palpable.
He got feelings for Caspian, but it is complicated. Caspian wants to help but doesn’t know how, he can’t seem to reach him. He’s in constant fear to find him or get the awful news it’s over.
Back and forth in time, we get the pieces of the picture, and what happened through all these years.
Caspian and Iris are on and off over the years. They can’t live with or without each other.
Convinced the other hates him.
Nothing is farther from the truth. Only Iris can’t give in, it hurts too much, he’ll never trust Caspian again.
Their manager Alexander is horrible, ugh! Isolate and separate members, use them, and keep them with bodyguards 24/7, all for the ultimate power. The whole band is suffering, something has to change.
Caspian and Iris, will they ever get together?
It was a very harsh and heavy read, quite devastating. Their characters were amazingly developed, flawed af, and nothing sugar-coated. While reading I felt my nails in my hand, my jaw was stiff, my heart racing, I wanted to scream.
There are trigger warnings, please don’t ignore them!
He got feelings for Caspian, but it is complicated. Caspian wants to help but doesn’t know how, he can’t seem to reach him. He’s in constant fear to find him or get the awful news it’s over.
Back and forth in time, we get the pieces of the picture, and what happened through all these years.
Caspian and Iris are on and off over the years. They can’t live with or without each other.
Convinced the other hates him.
Nothing is farther from the truth. Only Iris can’t give in, it hurts too much, he’ll never trust Caspian again.
Their manager Alexander is horrible, ugh! Isolate and separate members, use them, and keep them with bodyguards 24/7, all for the ultimate power. The whole band is suffering, something has to change.
Caspian and Iris, will they ever get together?
It was a very harsh and heavy read, quite devastating. Their characters were amazingly developed, flawed af, and nothing sugar-coated. While reading I felt my nails in my hand, my jaw was stiff, my heart racing, I wanted to scream.
There are trigger warnings, please don’t ignore them!
April 25, 2023
This is literally Pretty f*ucked….so many emotions and intense, Cas and Iris’s love story is a freight train, this book get us a glimpse of their story since the beginning, the pain Iris carries out was really heartbreaking, his battle with depression, his addictions and must of all the way his music until now was his only escape. Cas always doing what he thought was the right thing to do and later found that he was wrong, but always loving Iris. The book is truly hard and dark, the way both Cas and Iris deal with Iris’s mental health, and Cas suffer and supporting him, this would break you heart and ask for a little more…
July 22, 2024
OMG this was awful. I had a feeling it would be because this series has tanked from the second book. I loved the first one and it's been on a downward spiral since. I struggled to get through the last book, and was hesitant for this one but thought, naw...we've been getting snippets of Cas and Iris's relationship since the very beginning.
Wasn't worth it. There was too much mental drama that was just on repeat. Everything kept happening OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER...UGH!!!! This definitely didn't need to be two books, and honestly, I don't care where it ends. I will forget about this entire group once I hit submit on this review. That's how much it sucked for me.
Wasn't worth it. There was too much mental drama that was just on repeat. Everything kept happening OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER...UGH!!!! This definitely didn't need to be two books, and honestly, I don't care where it ends. I will forget about this entire group once I hit submit on this review. That's how much it sucked for me.
April 29, 2023
Pretty F*cked
Iris and Caspian
Wow... Iris's story is heart-wrenching. The things he's dealt with and still having to go through is so much. Alexander needs to be taken down and hope that happens in the next book. Like hard-core. There's so many emotions leaked out throughout this story. Iris deserves the world and hope that Caspian helps him see that a little more each time.
Iris and Caspian
Wow... Iris's story is heart-wrenching. The things he's dealt with and still having to go through is so much. Alexander needs to be taken down and hope that happens in the next book. Like hard-core. There's so many emotions leaked out throughout this story. Iris deserves the world and hope that Caspian helps him see that a little more each time.
June 3, 2023
I enjoyed this book but surprisingly not as much as the one before. Iris broke my heart. Caspian was infuriating at first but then I started to understand him more. Four stars because some scenes were literally copied and pasted from previous books (word for word!) Felt like deja vu reading the overlap!
April 30, 2023
Dnf at 56%. This had no business being as boring as it was. I expected more.
May 4, 2023
Wow.. what an emotional roller coaster this book takes us on... You can tell Gray poured his heart and soul into this book. Book 4 of Pretty Broken series continues the band's journey by centering on Cas and Iris. the story we have been waiting for and does not disappoint! Now I have to wait impatiently for the next book to finish their story.... ANTICIPATION!!!!
April 27, 2023
no review I could write would ever be able to convey how fucking perfect this book is. From the heavy topics being handled, to the complex relationship between Cas and Iris, to the commentary about fame and it’s heavy price. But I’ll have more cohesive thoughts later so stay tuned.
June 8, 2023
I will start and end this review by saying -
***PLEASE READ ALL OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE BOOK.***
The author is very thorough and very upfront with the material he covers in this book, the reasons he is writing this book, his knowledge on this subject and exactly what he includes on the page. It is a beautifully intense and true to life portrayal that he has presented to the world, so you do need to take his trigger warnings exactly as presented and as written.
This book is such a beautiful work of art. It was also a very very difficult read for someone who has struggled with the topics covered within the book. Which is why it is such a beautifully written piece.
This book actually took me a little longer than I planned to read it as there are parts that I can relate to. I would echo a thousand times over the part of the trigger warning of "be kind to yourself" this is a book that can wait if you need it to.
The two main things that stick with me about this book, and Pretty Black (the follow up book), are that both the romance/band story alone is such a strong storyline and could have been written as a standalone.
Additionally the author could have pulled Iris and Cas out of the bandasphere and written these two purely as their own little bubble in order to focus on how mental health is a whole body illness and how excessively corruptive it is to the human body as whole.
Finally, there is Cas's side where you experience the pain and suffering of those outside of your loved one's mindspace and just don't know how to help or break that seal to get their mind to give them ease or peace.
Both stories are strongly written and both plot lines are beautifully intertwined. Both are what kept me picking up this book and reading far into the night so much that I saw dawn twice.
This book was my first vist into the Pretty Broken world. All of the band mates are fully formed humans in print and I am very very curious as to how they reached the point of who they are by the time we get to Iris' story.
I will be coming back to this series and this author as I am literally in awe of his strength to write this book. I'm in awe of his talent with words and characters. I want to see who else he has created.
Within this book the band itself is being held captive by an excessively naracissitic and abusive manager.
How all of the men in the band aren't at the breaking point that Iris is astounds me.
I understand that Iris went into this project more mentally fragile than the rest. And I also understand that Cas out of all of them would struggle the most to understand how cut off and gaslit they all are. However, the amount of building pressure, psychological and emotional abuse, as well as, outright manipulation was very hard to read. Making it worse was the real world examples of this being something of an "industry standard" that the author writes in every so often. It's subtle, they fit the dialouge and the need, but it's an ice bath to the brain when they appear.
The story is told in what could be seen as a random amount of "flashbacks" with random points in time of Iris and Cas' life from the band's rise to fame, Iris spiralling, the start of their relationship, the euphoria of their success and the death of Iris' brother. There are also veiled references to and finally and explaination of how Cas betrayed Iris the first time.
I think to someone who hasn't grappled with the spiralling morass that your brain can take you on, and then living with someone who sequesters you while constantly reiterating what your brain is telling you, and worse than what your brain is telling you, along with smashing every single boundary a person could ever possibly have - these jumps will seem random, out of the odinary, and could be somewhat annoying.
What the author is doing is showing us in print how the depressed and anxiety ridden brain works. The scenes and flashbacks he chooses are key moments to Iris. Or moments that his head wouldn't let him not relieve on a constant loop.
The good and then the utter utter lows.
It reiterates to him that he isn't worth the good. As when the good comes the bad is 10 times as worse. With each "worse" the depression digs it's claws in deeper and deeper.
Even more disturbing was the control the band's manager had over Iris's medical management in these flashbacks. At the opening of the book you see someone who is hyper aware of their surroundings, is aware of what they are putting into their body, and they are controlling it. But in the flashbacks you read of an Iris being told to take whatever it is being handed to him without any reason or explaination and just "Your dr said". Medical abuse and that destruction of person is the worst form of abuse that can occur to someone fighting a mental health battle. Those where some of the hardest scenes to read, yet some of the most necessary. They truly show how hard Iris is fighting without realizing himself that he IS fighting.
To look at Cas character and how he watches Iris and listens to his manager, Cas sees this all as Iris' doing. He has never been in a world where someone has taken away any and all of his choices. Even those of what he puts into his body or where he sleeps at night. His boundaries have always been heard and respected.
I think much of the world lives in Cas' side of this story as we don't talk enough about mental health as it is, but we also don't talk about how people with mental health struggles and illnesses are treated by the world at large.
Having both gentlemen's sides of the story told with these jumps and seeing them go back and forth from good to bad to misunderstandings due to different life circumstances to Cas' eventual betrayal was ... inevitable.
The book follows the build up of Iris' mounting panic and desperation. Which leads the reader to the ultimate peak of where your mind can take you in the depths of attempting JUST FIND PEACE AND STILLNESS.
It's where the book opens, and it's where the book ends.
You do need to read Pretty Black to get the entire story. I highly recommend that you do. If you are able to.
This book ranks highly on my personal list of books for clear accurate portayal of what mental health illnesses and struggles look like both inside the person and to the world. The author has allowed quite a bit of himself to be left bare on and vunerable on these pages no matter how much of Iris is fictional. For all that he is a person who lives within the pages of a book, his struggles are lived by millions in the real world every day. The struggles that the author has so very bravely shared are not shared lightly by many and those who share have a bravery that very few manage. Iris and this author have managed excessive bravery. I can not shout this from any place high enough or loud enough.
And as I started my review I will end it the same. Please. With all of my heart and all of my good intentions.
***PLEASE READ ALL OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE BOOK.***
If this book needs to wait for you - it will wait.
If you need someone to be your safe space - there are places and people who are waiting.
They WILL help you.
***PLEASE READ ALL OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE BOOK.***
The author is very thorough and very upfront with the material he covers in this book, the reasons he is writing this book, his knowledge on this subject and exactly what he includes on the page. It is a beautifully intense and true to life portrayal that he has presented to the world, so you do need to take his trigger warnings exactly as presented and as written.
This book is such a beautiful work of art. It was also a very very difficult read for someone who has struggled with the topics covered within the book. Which is why it is such a beautifully written piece.
This book actually took me a little longer than I planned to read it as there are parts that I can relate to. I would echo a thousand times over the part of the trigger warning of "be kind to yourself" this is a book that can wait if you need it to.
The two main things that stick with me about this book, and Pretty Black (the follow up book), are that both the romance/band story alone is such a strong storyline and could have been written as a standalone.
Additionally the author could have pulled Iris and Cas out of the bandasphere and written these two purely as their own little bubble in order to focus on how mental health is a whole body illness and how excessively corruptive it is to the human body as whole.
Finally, there is Cas's side where you experience the pain and suffering of those outside of your loved one's mindspace and just don't know how to help or break that seal to get their mind to give them ease or peace.
Both stories are strongly written and both plot lines are beautifully intertwined. Both are what kept me picking up this book and reading far into the night so much that I saw dawn twice.
This book was my first vist into the Pretty Broken world. All of the band mates are fully formed humans in print and I am very very curious as to how they reached the point of who they are by the time we get to Iris' story.
I will be coming back to this series and this author as I am literally in awe of his strength to write this book. I'm in awe of his talent with words and characters. I want to see who else he has created.
Within this book the band itself is being held captive by an excessively naracissitic and abusive manager.
How all of the men in the band aren't at the breaking point that Iris is astounds me.
I understand that Iris went into this project more mentally fragile than the rest. And I also understand that Cas out of all of them would struggle the most to understand how cut off and gaslit they all are. However, the amount of building pressure, psychological and emotional abuse, as well as, outright manipulation was very hard to read. Making it worse was the real world examples of this being something of an "industry standard" that the author writes in every so often. It's subtle, they fit the dialouge and the need, but it's an ice bath to the brain when they appear.
The story is told in what could be seen as a random amount of "flashbacks" with random points in time of Iris and Cas' life from the band's rise to fame, Iris spiralling, the start of their relationship, the euphoria of their success and the death of Iris' brother. There are also veiled references to and finally and explaination of how Cas betrayed Iris the first time.
I think to someone who hasn't grappled with the spiralling morass that your brain can take you on, and then living with someone who sequesters you while constantly reiterating what your brain is telling you, and worse than what your brain is telling you, along with smashing every single boundary a person could ever possibly have - these jumps will seem random, out of the odinary, and could be somewhat annoying.
What the author is doing is showing us in print how the depressed and anxiety ridden brain works. The scenes and flashbacks he chooses are key moments to Iris. Or moments that his head wouldn't let him not relieve on a constant loop.
The good and then the utter utter lows.
It reiterates to him that he isn't worth the good. As when the good comes the bad is 10 times as worse. With each "worse" the depression digs it's claws in deeper and deeper.
Even more disturbing was the control the band's manager had over Iris's medical management in these flashbacks. At the opening of the book you see someone who is hyper aware of their surroundings, is aware of what they are putting into their body, and they are controlling it. But in the flashbacks you read of an Iris being told to take whatever it is being handed to him without any reason or explaination and just "Your dr said". Medical abuse and that destruction of person is the worst form of abuse that can occur to someone fighting a mental health battle. Those where some of the hardest scenes to read, yet some of the most necessary. They truly show how hard Iris is fighting without realizing himself that he IS fighting.
To look at Cas character and how he watches Iris and listens to his manager, Cas sees this all as Iris' doing. He has never been in a world where someone has taken away any and all of his choices. Even those of what he puts into his body or where he sleeps at night. His boundaries have always been heard and respected.
I think much of the world lives in Cas' side of this story as we don't talk enough about mental health as it is, but we also don't talk about how people with mental health struggles and illnesses are treated by the world at large.
Having both gentlemen's sides of the story told with these jumps and seeing them go back and forth from good to bad to misunderstandings due to different life circumstances to Cas' eventual betrayal was ... inevitable.
The book follows the build up of Iris' mounting panic and desperation. Which leads the reader to the ultimate peak of where your mind can take you in the depths of attempting JUST FIND PEACE AND STILLNESS.
It's where the book opens, and it's where the book ends.
You do need to read Pretty Black to get the entire story. I highly recommend that you do. If you are able to.
This book ranks highly on my personal list of books for clear accurate portayal of what mental health illnesses and struggles look like both inside the person and to the world. The author has allowed quite a bit of himself to be left bare on and vunerable on these pages no matter how much of Iris is fictional. For all that he is a person who lives within the pages of a book, his struggles are lived by millions in the real world every day. The struggles that the author has so very bravely shared are not shared lightly by many and those who share have a bravery that very few manage. Iris and this author have managed excessive bravery. I can not shout this from any place high enough or loud enough.
And as I started my review I will end it the same. Please. With all of my heart and all of my good intentions.
***PLEASE READ ALL OF THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE BOOK.***
If this book needs to wait for you - it will wait.
If you need someone to be your safe space - there are places and people who are waiting.
They WILL help you.
May 1, 2023
What a devastatingly heartbreaking story. “Pretty F*cked” is sitting heavily in my heart but boy, I loved every single chapter and I honestly couldn’t read it fast enough. J.R. Gray presents us with a really dark story, but one that doesn’t get the credit and justice it deserves. This book is all about dealing with mental health and how to shed light on the issue and remove the stigma attached to it. It’s a really hard story to read but it is one that I personally think is written respectfully as to not glamorize mental health issues and addictions issues but raise awareness and provide and a raw, inside look to the inner workings of those of us who struggle with these issues.
Iris and Caspian are really going through it as rock stars, band mates, best friends, and eventually lovers. Nothing about the life they’re currently living is easy. They never catch a break, they’re being worked to death by their impossible manager, they’re kept from their lives outside of the band… I mean the list goes on. Iris has experienced so much pain and grief his entire life that having Caspian a part of his world is both necessary and extremely hurtful. Gray shows us just how much life can punch you in the gut and as strong as you want to be or think you are, that’s not always the case. The things that Iris has gone though in life are incredibly hard to cope with and not always worth dealing with. Iris’s character is just up and down constantly, and that’s normal of someone suffering with mental health. He pushes everyone away, he uses drugs to escape reality, he gets snippets of happiness before the other shoes drops, he doesn’t see the bright side of anything and constantly lashes out and checks out entirely. He loves Caspian but for him, it’s hard to love him. But, Gray writes Caspian as Iris’s reason to live and to keep going when all he really wants to do is to give up. I thought that his role in Iris’s story was so crucial because when you’re not your best mental health self and on the road to totally self destructing, there is always something worth living for that doesn’t even register — and he is Iris’s reason to live and his character shows that. Caspian is no saint and he has messed up but his intentions were always in the right place, wanting to help and support Iris. BUT, the way he thought he was helping, was not what Iris needed — and that’s something I am glad Gray touches on because not every situation is the same and not everyone is ready or willing to accept help and deal with all of the inner monsters. That’s where a lot of the angst in the books stems from, Caspian not trusting Iris when he tells him he won’t end his life. Worry can overshadow a lot, and Gray really took the time to develop Caspian’s character arc so that we see where he started and where he ends up and the understanding and trust he didn’t have that he now has with Iris. By the end of the book, Iris is coming around to the idea of Caspian never leaving him, but there constant doubt and he doesn’t trust his feelings. His character development over the course of the book, TO ME, is a roller coaster at best, and the story ends openly so you can think and determine his fate on your own.
It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love themselves but by the end of this book, there is a glimmer of hope that love can be a reason to keep going even if it hurts and isn’t easy to accept. I am a big supporter of mental health and shining light on those who suffer and telling their story, and J.R. Gray brought me to tears with the vulnerability to write something so difficult to process and to put out into the world. We are not in this life alone and Gray’s characters in “Pretty F*cked” show that even in the darkest of times, there is always someone who has your back and is willing to fight for you, even if it takes some time and convincing to get there. Iris and Caspian are soulmates in my opinion and the ying to their yang, their sun to the moon, the light to the dark. I will never stop rooting for these two and I will be thinking about this book for a while. It’s permanently ingrained in my mind and I am thankful Gray took the time to write out their story. 🖤
💥 A word from the author: “Please read with care. Please take care of yourself and your loved ones. And please don’t be silent on mental health issues.” 💥
Rating: 4.5/5⭐️
Spice: 2/5🌶️🥵
Tropes:
🎸 Rock star romance
🎸 MM romance
🎸 Damaged MC
🎸 High angst/slow burn
🎸 Emotionally charged
Triggers:
💥 Suicide ideation
💥 Discussion of depression
💥 Heavy drug use
💥 Acts of suicide intentions
Iris and Caspian are really going through it as rock stars, band mates, best friends, and eventually lovers. Nothing about the life they’re currently living is easy. They never catch a break, they’re being worked to death by their impossible manager, they’re kept from their lives outside of the band… I mean the list goes on. Iris has experienced so much pain and grief his entire life that having Caspian a part of his world is both necessary and extremely hurtful. Gray shows us just how much life can punch you in the gut and as strong as you want to be or think you are, that’s not always the case. The things that Iris has gone though in life are incredibly hard to cope with and not always worth dealing with. Iris’s character is just up and down constantly, and that’s normal of someone suffering with mental health. He pushes everyone away, he uses drugs to escape reality, he gets snippets of happiness before the other shoes drops, he doesn’t see the bright side of anything and constantly lashes out and checks out entirely. He loves Caspian but for him, it’s hard to love him. But, Gray writes Caspian as Iris’s reason to live and to keep going when all he really wants to do is to give up. I thought that his role in Iris’s story was so crucial because when you’re not your best mental health self and on the road to totally self destructing, there is always something worth living for that doesn’t even register — and he is Iris’s reason to live and his character shows that. Caspian is no saint and he has messed up but his intentions were always in the right place, wanting to help and support Iris. BUT, the way he thought he was helping, was not what Iris needed — and that’s something I am glad Gray touches on because not every situation is the same and not everyone is ready or willing to accept help and deal with all of the inner monsters. That’s where a lot of the angst in the books stems from, Caspian not trusting Iris when he tells him he won’t end his life. Worry can overshadow a lot, and Gray really took the time to develop Caspian’s character arc so that we see where he started and where he ends up and the understanding and trust he didn’t have that he now has with Iris. By the end of the book, Iris is coming around to the idea of Caspian never leaving him, but there constant doubt and he doesn’t trust his feelings. His character development over the course of the book, TO ME, is a roller coaster at best, and the story ends openly so you can think and determine his fate on your own.
It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love themselves but by the end of this book, there is a glimmer of hope that love can be a reason to keep going even if it hurts and isn’t easy to accept. I am a big supporter of mental health and shining light on those who suffer and telling their story, and J.R. Gray brought me to tears with the vulnerability to write something so difficult to process and to put out into the world. We are not in this life alone and Gray’s characters in “Pretty F*cked” show that even in the darkest of times, there is always someone who has your back and is willing to fight for you, even if it takes some time and convincing to get there. Iris and Caspian are soulmates in my opinion and the ying to their yang, their sun to the moon, the light to the dark. I will never stop rooting for these two and I will be thinking about this book for a while. It’s permanently ingrained in my mind and I am thankful Gray took the time to write out their story. 🖤
💥 A word from the author: “Please read with care. Please take care of yourself and your loved ones. And please don’t be silent on mental health issues.” 💥
Rating: 4.5/5⭐️
Spice: 2/5🌶️🥵
Tropes:
🎸 Rock star romance
🎸 MM romance
🎸 Damaged MC
🎸 High angst/slow burn
🎸 Emotionally charged
Triggers:
💥 Suicide ideation
💥 Discussion of depression
💥 Heavy drug use
💥 Acts of suicide intentions
May 7, 2023
If you’ve gotten this far in this series, its serious content around drug use, abuse and suicide should be clear to you. But the author, JR Gray, made a point in the front and back of this book to warn readers that it’s going to be dealing with these issues is a much more head-on manner. So take care of yourself as he suggests if these topics are tough for you.
That being said, let’s get to it. First of all, if this book was about anything other than actually finding out what’s going on with Iris and Cassian, I would have given up on the series based on how awful the previous book was (the one that could have been solved with a simple conversation that wasn’t cut off for plot purposes). It’s a testament to the excellent buildup that I was able to put up with an enjoy several things that I can quickly resent while reading books: going over the same events of a previous book from a new point of view and a lot of time jumps back and forth. These things both have the potential to stymy forward momentum. Not in this case!
In the previous three books, I felt like I was shouting into the void of the series’ band Pretty Black to take care of and act serious about the mental struggles and intense drug use the band’s lead singer and songwriter, Iris, was going through. Iris stole a lot of spotlight throughout and it was to the detriment to the main romance of the book a lot of the times. It wasn’t until the third book that the band’s manager really emerged as the overarching villain that I was able to stop seeing Iris’ interjections into the main plot as anything other than distracting and concerning.
Cassian has been treated as a bit of a minor villain, as he takes the manager’s side when it comes to Iris’s treatment. The truth was, I was behind SOMEONE taking Iris’s descent into addiction seriously, since no one else seemed to? This book reveals all of the interpersonal behind-the-scenes context for all of that.
It’s hard to spoil the book, since so much of its merits come in the buildup of the back-and-forth, can’t-stay-away history between Iris and Cassian, but the hints at their romantic and sexual relationship are at last no longer hints. I got it all, and I finally got to know why they had such a big falling out. There was a big betrayal of trust, but also Iris is deeply ill. Cassian and Iris have been stuck in a cycle of personal pain that has hurt the other in turn.
Fair warning: this is not an HEA the same way they previous books have been. Iris and Cassian’s love story has not been concluded the way the others’ have. Pretty F*cked and Pretty Black (the next and final book) are intimately tied and cannot be read alone. It’s pretty clear that’s the case when you know this book deals with Iris and Cassian but there’s still one more book to go in the series. Perhaps the fifth and final book will deal with all of the band members equally instead of exclusively on Iris and Cassian, but regardless, it wont’ be a standalone at all.
I’m honestly not sure if this gets four stars because it’s such an improvement over the previous book or because it actually rises to that. I was engaged the whole time and wanted to keep going (something I struggled with while reading both the first and third books), so there’s that. I also think that the dark and serious subject matter is treated frankly. I can’t speak for how accurate suicide ideation is treated having not experienced it myself, but Cassian’s struggles with how to be a caring partner to someone hurting so deeply wile also maintaining his own boundaries and wellness was compelling.
Here’s hoping these guys get their true HEA. Iris says a lot throughout the book that there’s no hope for him. But there is, there is for everyone who’s going through similar issues. It can be hard to get to a better, healthier place and it takes a lot of work, but it’s possible. I hope that’s part of Iris’s journey in the final book: healing and health.
| I received an ARC, and this is my honest, freely given review. |
That being said, let’s get to it. First of all, if this book was about anything other than actually finding out what’s going on with Iris and Cassian, I would have given up on the series based on how awful the previous book was (the one that could have been solved with a simple conversation that wasn’t cut off for plot purposes). It’s a testament to the excellent buildup that I was able to put up with an enjoy several things that I can quickly resent while reading books: going over the same events of a previous book from a new point of view and a lot of time jumps back and forth. These things both have the potential to stymy forward momentum. Not in this case!
In the previous three books, I felt like I was shouting into the void of the series’ band Pretty Black to take care of and act serious about the mental struggles and intense drug use the band’s lead singer and songwriter, Iris, was going through. Iris stole a lot of spotlight throughout and it was to the detriment to the main romance of the book a lot of the times. It wasn’t until the third book that the band’s manager really emerged as the overarching villain that I was able to stop seeing Iris’ interjections into the main plot as anything other than distracting and concerning.
Cassian has been treated as a bit of a minor villain, as he takes the manager’s side when it comes to Iris’s treatment. The truth was, I was behind SOMEONE taking Iris’s descent into addiction seriously, since no one else seemed to? This book reveals all of the interpersonal behind-the-scenes context for all of that.
It’s hard to spoil the book, since so much of its merits come in the buildup of the back-and-forth, can’t-stay-away history between Iris and Cassian, but the hints at their romantic and sexual relationship are at last no longer hints. I got it all, and I finally got to know why they had such a big falling out. There was a big betrayal of trust, but also Iris is deeply ill. Cassian and Iris have been stuck in a cycle of personal pain that has hurt the other in turn.
Fair warning: this is not an HEA the same way they previous books have been. Iris and Cassian’s love story has not been concluded the way the others’ have. Pretty F*cked and Pretty Black (the next and final book) are intimately tied and cannot be read alone. It’s pretty clear that’s the case when you know this book deals with Iris and Cassian but there’s still one more book to go in the series. Perhaps the fifth and final book will deal with all of the band members equally instead of exclusively on Iris and Cassian, but regardless, it wont’ be a standalone at all.
I’m honestly not sure if this gets four stars because it’s such an improvement over the previous book or because it actually rises to that. I was engaged the whole time and wanted to keep going (something I struggled with while reading both the first and third books), so there’s that. I also think that the dark and serious subject matter is treated frankly. I can’t speak for how accurate suicide ideation is treated having not experienced it myself, but Cassian’s struggles with how to be a caring partner to someone hurting so deeply wile also maintaining his own boundaries and wellness was compelling.
Here’s hoping these guys get their true HEA. Iris says a lot throughout the book that there’s no hope for him. But there is, there is for everyone who’s going through similar issues. It can be hard to get to a better, healthier place and it takes a lot of work, but it’s possible. I hope that’s part of Iris’s journey in the final book: healing and health.
| I received an ARC, and this is my honest, freely given review. |
April 24, 2025
I haven't wanted to read these two last books in the Pretty Broken series for a while because of the trigger warnings and the angst and fucking dick-head manager Alexander (fuck him), but I'm in a dark romance era right now and a crossing books off my TBR lists era, and I'm trying to stick to it. J.R. Gray, the fabulous and the fabulously cruel (I always cry) wrote this series. The next book (the forth) is titled "Pretty F*cked."
Summary of the series: each book is about a different member of the band. Each band member has their own trauma and demons, but each gets a HEA. Or HFN, because their band manager is a twat waffle who is fucking them over, feeding their additions, and fueling nonsense inter-band drama for his own gain. They're all trying to get rid of him, but contracts and lawyers and money and trigger warnings (and a whole lot of swear words from me).
["Caspian Locke
I don’t think we even begin to understand love until we’ve lost the one we thought we’d spend the rest of our life with.
I don’t think we begin to understand ourselves until we realize that it’s most likely our fault.
And I don’t think we begin to understand life until we understand it comes in so many shades of gray.
You can be a good person and still do irrevocable harm.
Life is messy, so fucking messy.
I hate it.
Or maybe I hate myself.
I thought for a long time I hated him.
But I can’t hate Iris.
No matter how much he hurts, I still carry this little fucking wish in the depths of my soul that one day he’ll forgive me and admit he still loves me.
Part of life is living with the burden of what I’ve done and waiting for a day that will never come.
This is that life.
And we all come out Pretty F*cked."]
And the prologue already had me on edge, broken and fucked just like the rest of the band, the rest of these poor boys who only wanted to make music, magic. Instead, the fame and the power-hungry fame-mongers ruined it (almost) beyond repair. And waiting for the moment in the plot where the prologue would appear? Fuuuuuck, it was horrible. And when it did happen, I was shaking and sobbing, half ruined, even though we already read those words, even though we already knew the outcome. It was so much harder to read the second time.
Much of this was harder to read the second time. Because this book spanned 4+ years. It was Caspian and Iris falling in and out of love, falling in and out of fate, falling in and out of trust. It was reliving most of the rest of this series, from different POVs. It was trauma and PTSD from different viewpoints. It was Pretty Broken on all levels of broken.
And my favorite broken boy (Iris...duh) was the most broken of all. And still continues to be. AND there's still a whole book left in the series... Here's to more crying.
Trigger Warnings (as a series): alcohol/alcoholism, major descriptions of depression, talk of involuntary treatment, drug use, talk of suicide, suicidal ideation, assault, domestic abuse, domestic abuse isn't always physical, blackmail, lying, gaslighting, manipulation, and more
#prettyobsessed #prettytoxic #prettywreck #prettyfucked #prettyblack #prettybroken #prettybrokenseries #jrgray #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks
Summary of the series: each book is about a different member of the band. Each band member has their own trauma and demons, but each gets a HEA. Or HFN, because their band manager is a twat waffle who is fucking them over, feeding their additions, and fueling nonsense inter-band drama for his own gain. They're all trying to get rid of him, but contracts and lawyers and money and trigger warnings (and a whole lot of swear words from me).
["Caspian Locke
I don’t think we even begin to understand love until we’ve lost the one we thought we’d spend the rest of our life with.
I don’t think we begin to understand ourselves until we realize that it’s most likely our fault.
And I don’t think we begin to understand life until we understand it comes in so many shades of gray.
You can be a good person and still do irrevocable harm.
Life is messy, so fucking messy.
I hate it.
Or maybe I hate myself.
I thought for a long time I hated him.
But I can’t hate Iris.
No matter how much he hurts, I still carry this little fucking wish in the depths of my soul that one day he’ll forgive me and admit he still loves me.
Part of life is living with the burden of what I’ve done and waiting for a day that will never come.
This is that life.
And we all come out Pretty F*cked."]
And the prologue already had me on edge, broken and fucked just like the rest of the band, the rest of these poor boys who only wanted to make music, magic. Instead, the fame and the power-hungry fame-mongers ruined it (almost) beyond repair. And waiting for the moment in the plot where the prologue would appear? Fuuuuuck, it was horrible. And when it did happen, I was shaking and sobbing, half ruined, even though we already read those words, even though we already knew the outcome. It was so much harder to read the second time.
Much of this was harder to read the second time. Because this book spanned 4+ years. It was Caspian and Iris falling in and out of love, falling in and out of fate, falling in and out of trust. It was reliving most of the rest of this series, from different POVs. It was trauma and PTSD from different viewpoints. It was Pretty Broken on all levels of broken.
And my favorite broken boy (Iris...duh) was the most broken of all. And still continues to be. AND there's still a whole book left in the series... Here's to more crying.
Trigger Warnings (as a series): alcohol/alcoholism, major descriptions of depression, talk of involuntary treatment, drug use, talk of suicide, suicidal ideation, assault, domestic abuse, domestic abuse isn't always physical, blackmail, lying, gaslighting, manipulation, and more
#prettyobsessed #prettytoxic #prettywreck #prettyfucked #prettyblack #prettybroken #prettybrokenseries #jrgray #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks
April 27, 2023
4.25 Stars!
I would suggest reading the books earlier in the series before delving into this one. The buildup of the issues with their manager throughout the series is important to this book, and I am sure the next as well. The series is fantastic, so give them a try. If you haven't read any of the books, there may be spoilers ahead for you.
I have been waiting for Iris's book since Pretty Obsessed. I was not totally surprised when the author revealed this would be a duet, and I can see why. I've always wondered what caused Iris's pain and wanted something better for him. I wasn't sure what to think of Caspian throughout the other books; there were many times I was disappointed in his actions. Getting this first book of the duet and seeing how things got to where they are was as revealing as it was painful. The timeline overlaps some with Pretty Wreck, and I liked getting Iris's and Cas's viewpoints of some of the same moments that we saw in the last book. Cas and Iris's relationship has been on and off again through the years, and I'm glad that we got to see their past and current timeline and see how things have gotten to this point.
As I felt in the last book, I was glad to see the band members finally uniting together to try to get out from under Alexander. I am sad to see how many of them missed the signs and didn't listen to Iris for so long, but I am glad that they see it now. I seriously hope the band finds a way to show the world Alexander's treatment of them in a way that allows them to heal and move on. I can't believe the depth to which he has gone to hold them under his thumb. Through each book in this series, I have moved from wary to distrusting to downright disgusted with him. Every word and action is a well planned manipulation of each band member, and they will not be safe until he is gone.
I want Iris to find whatever he needs to feel safe, be himself, and create as he wants. I loved when Iris started looking for ways to somehow mend his broken pieces together. I wish Iris would have been more honest with his friends about the things Alexander was doing and pushing earlier, but I can see how he (as cognizant of Alexander's underhandedness as he is) is still being gaslighted and manipulated. Iris carries way too much responsibility for his friends. I'm glad that Cas finally saw why Iris has been so untrusting of him the last few years and that Cas is doing better to support and show Iris that he can be trusted again. I'm glad that even though things look bad, Cas is there for Iris, and Iris now believes that Cas will be there for him. I loved that Cas was honest and told Iris that he loves all of him, every piece. I loved that Cas is doing his best to stay positive even as they begin the battle against Alexander.
I can't wait for Pretty Black. I want to see how things play out for all of them, and I want them to come out in a better place where they can create their music and be friends without working nonstop and be more at peace with their lives.
*Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure. A review wasn't a requirement.*
I would suggest reading the books earlier in the series before delving into this one. The buildup of the issues with their manager throughout the series is important to this book, and I am sure the next as well. The series is fantastic, so give them a try. If you haven't read any of the books, there may be spoilers ahead for you.
I have been waiting for Iris's book since Pretty Obsessed. I was not totally surprised when the author revealed this would be a duet, and I can see why. I've always wondered what caused Iris's pain and wanted something better for him. I wasn't sure what to think of Caspian throughout the other books; there were many times I was disappointed in his actions. Getting this first book of the duet and seeing how things got to where they are was as revealing as it was painful. The timeline overlaps some with Pretty Wreck, and I liked getting Iris's and Cas's viewpoints of some of the same moments that we saw in the last book. Cas and Iris's relationship has been on and off again through the years, and I'm glad that we got to see their past and current timeline and see how things have gotten to this point.
As I felt in the last book, I was glad to see the band members finally uniting together to try to get out from under Alexander. I am sad to see how many of them missed the signs and didn't listen to Iris for so long, but I am glad that they see it now. I seriously hope the band finds a way to show the world Alexander's treatment of them in a way that allows them to heal and move on. I can't believe the depth to which he has gone to hold them under his thumb. Through each book in this series, I have moved from wary to distrusting to downright disgusted with him. Every word and action is a well planned manipulation of each band member, and they will not be safe until he is gone.
I want Iris to find whatever he needs to feel safe, be himself, and create as he wants. I loved when Iris started looking for ways to somehow mend his broken pieces together. I wish Iris would have been more honest with his friends about the things Alexander was doing and pushing earlier, but I can see how he (as cognizant of Alexander's underhandedness as he is) is still being gaslighted and manipulated. Iris carries way too much responsibility for his friends. I'm glad that Cas finally saw why Iris has been so untrusting of him the last few years and that Cas is doing better to support and show Iris that he can be trusted again. I'm glad that even though things look bad, Cas is there for Iris, and Iris now believes that Cas will be there for him. I loved that Cas was honest and told Iris that he loves all of him, every piece. I loved that Cas is doing his best to stay positive even as they begin the battle against Alexander.
I can't wait for Pretty Black. I want to see how things play out for all of them, and I want them to come out in a better place where they can create their music and be friends without working nonstop and be more at peace with their lives.
*Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure. A review wasn't a requirement.*
June 8, 2023
Summary: This book looks at Iris and Cas’s relationship. It goes back and forth between the past, where we can see how their relationship started and how it fell apart, and the present, where we can see them trying to find a way back to each other while the whole band comes to terms with how toxic and dangerous their manager is.
Review: I like that this book takes place concurrently with Pretty Wreck (Pretty Broken Book 3). It’s interesting to see some of the same scenes from that book but from Iris or Cas’s POV. Plus, I’m glad that with the manager, Alexander, storyline that we get more background on what happened with Alexander and Iris. This story touches on some pretty dark subjects, but mostly it is about how much Iris struggles with grief and mental health all while also dealing with fame and a controlling, gaslighting, toxic manager. He understandably has trust issues and a drug problem. It’s a lot, yet Gray manages to keep it from feeling overwhelming as a reader.
Iris is amazing—so broken but still so full of life even when he doesn’t see it that way. It’s easy to see why Cas, and everyone else, is so drawn to him. His songs are beautiful, and kudos to Gray for not only writing a powerful story but also writing all of the poetry/songs to go with it. And Cas—he’s so well intentioned. He loves Iris so much, and is so afraid of losing him that he makes bad choices. As much as he seems to get Iris, his fear of losing Iris keeps him from really seeing and trusting Iris when he’s at his lowest. But he does finally wake up to the reality around him. It is rare in a romance novel to have the principle characters love each other but struggle to be good for each other. I mean, it’s common enough for one of the MCs to hurt the other near the end of a typical romance, so there can be the black moment. But this story, which is essentially a second chance romance, even as they try to have their second chance, they are struggling with trust issues and how not to make each other miserable without meaning to. They’ll get there. There are signs that they have the capacity to be good for each other. But when they finally get their HEA in the next book, it will be earned through a lot of hard work.
One of the things I have loved about this series is that throughout all of the previous books, Iris and Cas have been major players. Almost as if the whole series is really their story. Which doesn’t take anything away from River & Emory, Lowe & Saint, and Alister & Kingsley. But the way Iris and Cas were woven into the background, and sometimes the foreground, of those stories makes them essential reading for these last two books. I couldn’t help wanting to know Iris and Cas’s story after each book. This is part one of that story, and it was worth the wait. I can’t wait to read their finale.
Review: I like that this book takes place concurrently with Pretty Wreck (Pretty Broken Book 3). It’s interesting to see some of the same scenes from that book but from Iris or Cas’s POV. Plus, I’m glad that with the manager, Alexander, storyline that we get more background on what happened with Alexander and Iris. This story touches on some pretty dark subjects, but mostly it is about how much Iris struggles with grief and mental health all while also dealing with fame and a controlling, gaslighting, toxic manager. He understandably has trust issues and a drug problem. It’s a lot, yet Gray manages to keep it from feeling overwhelming as a reader.
Iris is amazing—so broken but still so full of life even when he doesn’t see it that way. It’s easy to see why Cas, and everyone else, is so drawn to him. His songs are beautiful, and kudos to Gray for not only writing a powerful story but also writing all of the poetry/songs to go with it. And Cas—he’s so well intentioned. He loves Iris so much, and is so afraid of losing him that he makes bad choices. As much as he seems to get Iris, his fear of losing Iris keeps him from really seeing and trusting Iris when he’s at his lowest. But he does finally wake up to the reality around him. It is rare in a romance novel to have the principle characters love each other but struggle to be good for each other. I mean, it’s common enough for one of the MCs to hurt the other near the end of a typical romance, so there can be the black moment. But this story, which is essentially a second chance romance, even as they try to have their second chance, they are struggling with trust issues and how not to make each other miserable without meaning to. They’ll get there. There are signs that they have the capacity to be good for each other. But when they finally get their HEA in the next book, it will be earned through a lot of hard work.
One of the things I have loved about this series is that throughout all of the previous books, Iris and Cas have been major players. Almost as if the whole series is really their story. Which doesn’t take anything away from River & Emory, Lowe & Saint, and Alister & Kingsley. But the way Iris and Cas were woven into the background, and sometimes the foreground, of those stories makes them essential reading for these last two books. I couldn’t help wanting to know Iris and Cas’s story after each book. This is part one of that story, and it was worth the wait. I can’t wait to read their finale.
May 17, 2023
The conflicting relationship between Iris and Cas has been the unaddressed through line between each of the previous books in this series. And now that we’ve covered the other members of Pretty Broken, it’s time to focus on the two who remain. There’s a lot of history there, however, so I agree with Gray’s decision to split their journey into two separate books. In this installment, we get plenty of backstory entwined with overlap of integral events that also occur in the previous novel.
Even though this book covers difficult subject matter, the backstory between Iris and Cas is important to set up the current state of affairs. I loved the information we got, even when I had a bit of trouble following the timeline. I decided not to quibble too much about it and instead embraced Iris’s self-proclaimed status as an “unreliable narrator.” What did ring true is the love that these men have for each other. But love doesn’t conquer all, especially when it starts as teenage infatuation and must survive the drama and lifestyle of world fame. Sometimes it just makes life more complicated and painful, and one thing I appreciated about this book is that Gray never writes like the relationship between Iris and Cas is inevitable. Even while my “outside” perspective knows that we’ll get the happily ever after at the end of the story, I was able to be fully invested in the book while reading because Gray crafts a truly dramatic story that doesn’t make the ending feel as certain in the moment.
Another reason to save this pair for last is that the band manager Alexander’s treatment of Iris is central to the conflict that has been building between him and the full band throughout this series. Finally, each member has caught up to the ways he was dividing them in order to exert control. The new reveals and new perspectives meant I was still engrossed in the story so that even the occasional “doubled” scene from Pretty Wreck never felt repetitive.
This novel is an excellent penultimate series story as it sets up the resolution of multiple storylines. It doesn’t significantly move forward the external story of the band by too much, but now we’re truly committed to all five members as characters. This is the perfect launch point for an epic finale, even though I know one more book won’t be enough for me to feel finished with this group of characters and a band that I wish created real music.
Even though this book covers difficult subject matter, the backstory between Iris and Cas is important to set up the current state of affairs. I loved the information we got, even when I had a bit of trouble following the timeline. I decided not to quibble too much about it and instead embraced Iris’s self-proclaimed status as an “unreliable narrator.” What did ring true is the love that these men have for each other. But love doesn’t conquer all, especially when it starts as teenage infatuation and must survive the drama and lifestyle of world fame. Sometimes it just makes life more complicated and painful, and one thing I appreciated about this book is that Gray never writes like the relationship between Iris and Cas is inevitable. Even while my “outside” perspective knows that we’ll get the happily ever after at the end of the story, I was able to be fully invested in the book while reading because Gray crafts a truly dramatic story that doesn’t make the ending feel as certain in the moment.
Another reason to save this pair for last is that the band manager Alexander’s treatment of Iris is central to the conflict that has been building between him and the full band throughout this series. Finally, each member has caught up to the ways he was dividing them in order to exert control. The new reveals and new perspectives meant I was still engrossed in the story so that even the occasional “doubled” scene from Pretty Wreck never felt repetitive.
This novel is an excellent penultimate series story as it sets up the resolution of multiple storylines. It doesn’t significantly move forward the external story of the band by too much, but now we’re truly committed to all five members as characters. This is the perfect launch point for an epic finale, even though I know one more book won’t be enough for me to feel finished with this group of characters and a band that I wish created real music.
May 6, 2023
cas and iris are heartbreakingly addictive
🎸 💊 🎤
🌟 BOOK REVIEW 🌟
Pretty F*cked by J. R. Gray
🎶 Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade
This book was so addictive and intense I couldn’t stop reading. I have been waiting for Iris and Caspian from the start of the series. This book went above and beyond my expectations, and runs along with Alister’s book timeline wise. We also get past and present viewpoint from both, so pay attention. However, this ending….. I regret reading it at work, that’s for sure. I was definitely crying and their words to each other….. f*ck. 😭
Caspian and Iris are definitely toxic and rough, yet maybe it’s not them. Band manager Alexander is up to more shit and this time, he may have pushed too far. Mental health is no joke, yet no one gave Iris what he needed throughout, beside Caspian trying. Now when I say mental health, I don’t mean this book hits it a little. It’s a MAJOR plot point in this book and their relationship in general. It’s hard to love someone else and let them love you when you don’t love yourself. The way J. R. wrote about this with so much depth was absolutely beautiful. It’s a hard topic to cover, especially when su!c!de It’s a primary topic. So please note, this book could be MAJORLY triggering if those topics hit for you. Be warned.
That said, oh my god, I love with both Caspian and Iris. You can tell their love for one another is deep and full of chemistry. I need to see how this will unwind after the ending here. Now, normally J. R. writes spicier smutty books. That’s here too, but the way this plays out so beautifully, the smut is background and not as much as their normal writing. And it WORKS! My god, it’s perfect!
Highly recommend this book, and while I’m sure it COULD be read independently from the first three books, some of the story lines will need the other books to make sense! So read the other books in the series too. Preferably first because they are all amazing!!
⚠️ deep mental health, substance abuse, forced dr¥g use and su!c!de ⚠️
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️/5
🎸 💊 🎤
🌟 BOOK REVIEW 🌟
Pretty F*cked by J. R. Gray
🎶 Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade
This book was so addictive and intense I couldn’t stop reading. I have been waiting for Iris and Caspian from the start of the series. This book went above and beyond my expectations, and runs along with Alister’s book timeline wise. We also get past and present viewpoint from both, so pay attention. However, this ending….. I regret reading it at work, that’s for sure. I was definitely crying and their words to each other….. f*ck. 😭
Caspian and Iris are definitely toxic and rough, yet maybe it’s not them. Band manager Alexander is up to more shit and this time, he may have pushed too far. Mental health is no joke, yet no one gave Iris what he needed throughout, beside Caspian trying. Now when I say mental health, I don’t mean this book hits it a little. It’s a MAJOR plot point in this book and their relationship in general. It’s hard to love someone else and let them love you when you don’t love yourself. The way J. R. wrote about this with so much depth was absolutely beautiful. It’s a hard topic to cover, especially when su!c!de It’s a primary topic. So please note, this book could be MAJORLY triggering if those topics hit for you. Be warned.
That said, oh my god, I love with both Caspian and Iris. You can tell their love for one another is deep and full of chemistry. I need to see how this will unwind after the ending here. Now, normally J. R. writes spicier smutty books. That’s here too, but the way this plays out so beautifully, the smut is background and not as much as their normal writing. And it WORKS! My god, it’s perfect!
Highly recommend this book, and while I’m sure it COULD be read independently from the first three books, some of the story lines will need the other books to make sense! So read the other books in the series too. Preferably first because they are all amazing!!
⚠️ deep mental health, substance abuse, forced dr¥g use and su!c!de ⚠️
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️/5
May 11, 2023
* 5 stars *
Pretty F*cked was easily my favorite book of the series. Iris and Caspian's story had intrigued me already from seeing glimpses of them in the other books and the end result didn't disappoint.
This is just the first part and their story will continue in the next book but the ending isn't a cliffhanger. So far the only thing I saw about the next book is that it's Iris's story and I'm sure he has a lot to say. He's a character that has been through a lot in his life and he has suffered since he was little. I'm glad he found Caspian and the rest of the Pretty Broken members because he needs a strong support system in his life and people he can depend on.
The general arc of the troubles the band is in with the manager haven't ended yet so that's also something that I expect will be resolved in the final book. Alexander is still a horrible manager and he keeps tightening his leash on the band more and more. I'm curious about how they'll get free of him.
The rest of the band and their significant others are all present in the story, some more than others, and they're all doing good in their relationships.
A big part of this book overlaps with book #3, so a lot of the events happening are familiar, only this time they're told from either Iris's or Caspian's perspective.
There are many flashbacks in the book and usually it's how the chapters are divided with only a couple of exceptions. There's a lot of back and forth in time not only with past and present but also with different times in the past. The flashbacks aren't following a linear timeline, which I think would have worked best, but instead jump back and forth in time to the point that I sometimes got confused while reading a flashback chapter about whether an event had happened yet or not.
But, I'm still giving this 5 stars because of how raw and honest the story seemed to me.
If you have any triggers make sure to read the CWs, which are included in the first pages of the book, before starting. This story is heavy, it deals with serious themes and it even becomes dark at times.
~ I read an ARC of this book. ~
Pretty F*cked was easily my favorite book of the series. Iris and Caspian's story had intrigued me already from seeing glimpses of them in the other books and the end result didn't disappoint.
This is just the first part and their story will continue in the next book but the ending isn't a cliffhanger. So far the only thing I saw about the next book is that it's Iris's story and I'm sure he has a lot to say. He's a character that has been through a lot in his life and he has suffered since he was little. I'm glad he found Caspian and the rest of the Pretty Broken members because he needs a strong support system in his life and people he can depend on.
The general arc of the troubles the band is in with the manager haven't ended yet so that's also something that I expect will be resolved in the final book. Alexander is still a horrible manager and he keeps tightening his leash on the band more and more. I'm curious about how they'll get free of him.
The rest of the band and their significant others are all present in the story, some more than others, and they're all doing good in their relationships.
A big part of this book overlaps with book #3, so a lot of the events happening are familiar, only this time they're told from either Iris's or Caspian's perspective.
There are many flashbacks in the book and usually it's how the chapters are divided with only a couple of exceptions. There's a lot of back and forth in time not only with past and present but also with different times in the past. The flashbacks aren't following a linear timeline, which I think would have worked best, but instead jump back and forth in time to the point that I sometimes got confused while reading a flashback chapter about whether an event had happened yet or not.
But, I'm still giving this 5 stars because of how raw and honest the story seemed to me.
If you have any triggers make sure to read the CWs, which are included in the first pages of the book, before starting. This story is heavy, it deals with serious themes and it even becomes dark at times.
~ I read an ARC of this book. ~
April 4, 2024
caspian + iris
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️/5
Caspian "Cas" and Iris have known each other since high school and became an overnight sensation when their music was spread amongst the social media masses. They got close during their first world tour and became secret lovers. Cas thought they would be forever, but a choice made from a good place became a betrayal that Iris couldn't forgive. Cas and Iris' fued changed their dynamic to enemies and it starts to tear at the bands' foundation. Iris slips further into addiction and Cas grapples with the choice that changed everything. Can these two reconcile? Or will their demise be the end of Pretty Broken?
Pretty F*ucked is right. I was ripped apart on every page of this book. Even though these two were confident in their sexuality, they found other challenges to overcome. The flashbacks and "two years ago" vs "present day" chapters had me a bit confused, but after slowing down and going back a few times the story came together for me. The life of an addict and those that love them is a tough road (addiction hits close to home for me). And to add in fame, fortune, and the rock and roll lifestyle....Iris never had a chance to experience life as a teenager and was thrust into the lime light. Not to mention his traumatic childhood, goddamn the Universe handed it to him! Alexander is the ultimate villain and I CANNOT get over his betrayal and Cas' role in it. I was definitely team Iris until the very end but an unexpected turn of events gave me a change of heart and ultimately, I was rooting for Cas and Iris to end up together. I can't say that the book ends in an HEA but I also wouldn't say it ends on a cliffhanger...I guess it's more of a "to be continued" ending. Every emotion was experienced and JR's writing once again did me in. Another must read from this epic author!
the gist: MM romance • bandmates • friends to lovers • enemies to lovers • second chance • orgies • suicide awareness ; • drug addiction • leaked d*ck pic • death of a sibling • silver spoon upbringing (cas) • foster care (iris) • signet ring • rehab • metal cig case • skinny black jeans • recording studio scene • concert PDA • "Iris Rose" • abuse by management • world tour • matching tattoos • band burnout • lawyer / contract battle • album release • penthouse living • roommates • Switch/Stardew Valley
Thank you, JR!
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️/5
Caspian "Cas" and Iris have known each other since high school and became an overnight sensation when their music was spread amongst the social media masses. They got close during their first world tour and became secret lovers. Cas thought they would be forever, but a choice made from a good place became a betrayal that Iris couldn't forgive. Cas and Iris' fued changed their dynamic to enemies and it starts to tear at the bands' foundation. Iris slips further into addiction and Cas grapples with the choice that changed everything. Can these two reconcile? Or will their demise be the end of Pretty Broken?
Pretty F*ucked is right. I was ripped apart on every page of this book. Even though these two were confident in their sexuality, they found other challenges to overcome. The flashbacks and "two years ago" vs "present day" chapters had me a bit confused, but after slowing down and going back a few times the story came together for me. The life of an addict and those that love them is a tough road (addiction hits close to home for me). And to add in fame, fortune, and the rock and roll lifestyle....Iris never had a chance to experience life as a teenager and was thrust into the lime light. Not to mention his traumatic childhood, goddamn the Universe handed it to him! Alexander is the ultimate villain and I CANNOT get over his betrayal and Cas' role in it. I was definitely team Iris until the very end but an unexpected turn of events gave me a change of heart and ultimately, I was rooting for Cas and Iris to end up together. I can't say that the book ends in an HEA but I also wouldn't say it ends on a cliffhanger...I guess it's more of a "to be continued" ending. Every emotion was experienced and JR's writing once again did me in. Another must read from this epic author!
the gist: MM romance • bandmates • friends to lovers • enemies to lovers • second chance • orgies • suicide awareness ; • drug addiction • leaked d*ck pic • death of a sibling • silver spoon upbringing (cas) • foster care (iris) • signet ring • rehab • metal cig case • skinny black jeans • recording studio scene • concert PDA • "Iris Rose" • abuse by management • world tour • matching tattoos • band burnout • lawyer / contract battle • album release • penthouse living • roommates • Switch/Stardew Valley
Thank you, JR!
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