What Cannot Be Lost: How Jesus Holds Us Together When Life Is Falling Apart

by Melissa Zaldivar, Bethany Barnard (Foreword)

A personal story of holding on to faith in Christ in the face of loss.

Author Melissa Zaldivar talks honestly about losing everything that once defined her and how God used unexpected opportunities, like working at Orchard House, where Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women, to spark a journey of working through her grief and encountering the all-sufficient love of Christ.

Weaving inspiring passages of Scripture and insights from Little Women into her personal story, Melissa encourages readers with her discovery that it’s when we have nothing left to offer that we can receive God’s love the most. And that’s something that can never be lost.

Readers will be reassured that God will meet them in the midst of their mess and urged to look to him for help, comfort and strength.

A great gift for those whose faith is being tested in the face of a loss of any kind—a loved one, a job or a relationship.

Genres: Faith, Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Living, Grief, Audiobook, Theology

166 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2022

About the author

Melissa Zaldivar holds a Master’s Degree in Theology from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. As a freelance writer, she has told the story of Jesus in contexts from Bible studies to articles with a voice that is young and honest. Walking through intense experiences throughout her life, she has learned that God is constantly present, even during the darkest of seasons and hopes to share that hope with her readers. She’s the founder of Camping Out, a blog that wrestles with the intersection of theology and the ordinary. She lives in Boston, MA.

Reviews

[Leanna Shepard Conley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely cried my way through this. (That's a good thing.) Beautiful book about loss and healing with (somehow) Louisa May Alcott's story perfectly woven in. Not only did Melissa give us a glimpse of her own experience of hope amidst deep pain, but also a greater look at the nearness and tenderness of Jesus in those dark valleys. Thanks be to God.

[Beth Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This slim book sat on my shelf for just the right number of months before I picked it up to read. It’s a personal story of grief and loss that somehow weaves in and out with the story of Louisa May Alcott and the writing of Little Women and the author giving tours of Orchard House. If you have ever felt alone in grief, ever watched the world recover from something far faster than you did, ever been given well-meaning but unhelpful Christian-eze advice, ever felt you were just waiting while everyone else lived on…this book will resonate with you too. Plus I love how the author talks about the way the album “All My Questions” impacted her as she wrote this book. This is real, honest, hopeful, grief-filled living.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a well put together book about grief and trusting in God. The author describes her own journey of grief after the death of her best friend and teaches what she learned along the way, with the help of Louisa May Alcott. This is perfect for Little Women fans and in fact I’m going to re-read it next!

[Janessa Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grief & Little Women. This was a sweet, quick, comforting read to me because it met me at three unlikely overlaps: grief over losing a best friend (as opposed to a spouse or child), literary love and exploring Louisa May Alcott's story and journals on grief (while the author worked in her childhood home), and rooted faith that craves hearing truth again and again when nothing makes sense.

Two quotes I particularly loved and resonated with:

"Death, even when you see it coming, always catches us by surprise."

"We don't just lose a loved one when they die, we lose a part of ourselves."

[Esta Doutrich · Rating 4 out of 5]

The right book for me at the right time. I don’t think it’s for everyone. But it met me in my grief of loosing my cousin/friend, while I also happened to be listening to Little Women with my children.

[Kaitlyn Bouchillon · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a gift. I've just turned the final page and didn't want it to end, this honest and heartbreaking and hope-full story of loss, of grief, of searching for what is true when everything is upside down and the rug has been pulled out from under your feet. What Cannot Be Lost weaves together stories from Melissa's life, the Bible, Louisa May Alcott/Little Women, and Orchard House which is "where Louisa sat for a decade as her grief steeped into something she could swallow" (page 23). (Also: Wow. A moment of silence and a round of applause for that sentence alone.)

If you've recently lost a dear friend, if you're in the fog of grief, or if you're searching for a glimmer of hope, you'll find in Melissa a kind, compassionate, and honest guide.

[Allison Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zaldivar discusses grief in a very real way which is really encouraging and comforting for those walking through it. She continually points her readers to Christ and his constant faithfulness and kindness despite our failures and weakness.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listen to this an audiobook on my drive home from Las Vegas after my niece’s high school graduation. It only felt appropriate since my sister wasn’t with us for the special occasion. She went to heaven almost 7 years ago. This book about grief resonated with me in ways that no other book about grief has done. The connections to Little Women and Louisa May Alcott were incredibly beautiful. I’m going to buy this book so that I can have a personal hardcopy of it because I know that my journeys with grief will continue on in this lifetime. I am sure I will re-read it again.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story about the author's personal journey with the grief from her friend's death. As someone who is working through my own grief over other losses, some ambiguous, others tangible but not of death this wasn't what I hoped for. Not much of it transferred to my situations (in general ways, sure). It just wasn't what I was hoping to find. I was looking for some profound perspective-shifting revelations, and this fell flat. I appreciated learning a bit more about Louisa May Alcott (an author I appreciate) through the interwoven story but otherwise even that part didn't really connect much with me.

I'm probably better to read something by Elisabeth Elliot. This is a fine, quick read, but didn't really hit the level of deep or profound .

[Eliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh wow. I feel more seen in the wreckage and more healed in the wonder of Christ after walking through this book. Grief is a harrowing journey that never really ends this side of heaven, and the last several years have brought losses so acute I genuinely wasn’t sure at times if I or my communities would survive. But here we are. And God has proven faithful over and over again, which doesn’t undermine or take away the pain but surely reminds us we are never alone and that he *did something so miraculous* about the pain. I’m so thankful for Zaldivar’s wisdom and honesty and love for Jesus. Thanks be to God, she never sugarcoats lament or -isms her way to the gospel or patches cliché bandages on deep wounds. There’s a reason Job is in the Bible, and there’s a reason why we must be honest with God about our anger, fear, and distrust. He can take it. He carries it. He gives more grace. Reading these pieces of Zaldivar’s story was like looking into a mirror, with some differences in context, to weep and praise and repeat on our way to the promised land.

[Laura Robinson (naptimereaders) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit, I didn’t even read the synopsis before diving into this book—I grabbed it purely because of the cover, as usual. 😂

Melissa’s writing is absolutely beautiful. She has this incredible way with words that pulls you right into her story. I found myself feeling so many emotions—encouraged, heartbroken, and thankful that she chose to write something like this.

If you’re a fan of *Little Women*, you’re going to love how she weaves that classic and her experiences at working at the Orchard House into her own journey of grieving a friend.

Fair warning: this book is heavy on grief. If you’ve recently lost someone, it might be a tough read, but Melissa’s grace and hope throughout the book is evident.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 // Little Women fans, this gem is for you. While primarily, this book is about walking with Jesus through grief, its secondary focus is the intersection of grief and faith in the life of Louisa May Alcott.

The author, Melissa Zaldivar, worked as a caretaker for Orchard House (the home of Louisa, her Marmee, and sisters), and is thus incredibly knowledgable about their history. Learning about the Alcott family kept me motivated enough to continue picking up this emotionally heavy book.

Zaldivar has a no-nonsense, straight-shooter kind of communication style that reminded me of Kate Bowler. But while Bowler writes for a more secular audience, Zaldivar is significantly scripture oriented and Jesus focused. I listened to her read this on audio and would recommend it in that format.

[Karen Greenwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading Alcott's journal entries about death and there are definitely points the author makes that resonate with me, but I found most of it lacking direction and a clear theme.

[Madison Garrett Kulp · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my new favorite books on grief. Melissa blends literature, environment, and a stark commitment to honesty in this stunning portrayal of loss and how we walk through it. I am so thankful a book like this exists and wish I could’ve read it in the thick of my own grief. What a gentle place for hurting hearts to land.

[Alyson Jefferson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hate to criticize a book that is pouring out of an author’s heart. It seemed to have wonderful nuggets of truth with out a clear direction in the writing. I can see where the author is trying to grapple with grief without much closure. Could I write a book, probably not. But this book left me wanting.

[Katie Betts · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this candid memoir, Melissa recounts her journey of loss and rediscovery, highlighting unexpected opportunities at Orchard House, where Little Women was written, that sparked her path to healing. Through Scripture and insights from the classic novel, Melissa's story reveals that in our emptiest moments, we can experience the boundless love of Christ. This book reassures those facing loss that God meets us in our struggles, offering help, comfort, and strength. A heartfelt gift for anyone grappling with various forms of loss, be it loved ones, jobs, or relationships.

This was beautifully written. So honest yet simply profound. Little Women is one of my favorite classics and I loved how seamlessly Melissa wove Louisa May Alcott’s story alongside hers. Even though I’m not dealing with loss, this story was still heartfelt and meaningful. A reminder that grief is always different yet never changes.

The author did an incredible job narrating this audiobook.

Perfect for you if you like:
Little Women
Christian spiritual growth
Memoirs about grief

Similar to:
The Lives We Actually Have by Kate Bowler
The Cost of Control by Sharon Hodde Miller
Prayer in the Night by Tish Harrison Warren

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melissa Zaldivar reflects on her experiences with loss in this powerful memoir, showing how profoundly her best friend's death upended her world. Throughout the book, she draws parallels between her grief experiences and what Louisa May Alcott went through when her sister died, showing how Alcott's choice to "go first" in sharing about grief has helped generations of people grapple with their own losses. Zaldivar's experience working as a tour guide at the Alcott's home provides an unusual angle for this book, but it isn't just for Little Women superfans. Zaldivar provides clear historical context for everything she says about Alcott, and she never assumes that the reader has preexisting knowledge about her or her family.

Although I was already familiar with Alcott's life and her inspiration for Little Women, I learned new things and found the excerpts from Alcott's diaries deeply touching. I also appreciated Zaldivar's guttural honesty about her spiritual struggles in the midst of grief, and her story of how she learned to feel Jesus's presence even when she couldn't feel safe in the world anymore or perform the kind of faith she wanted to have. Although this book is intensely Christian and may not appeal to secular readers, she writes about her faith in a raw way that doesn't rely on spiritual clichés or shared beliefs for someone to understand or care about what she's saying.

What Cannot Be Lost is an incredibly unique book because of the historical tie-ins and the author's honesty about a less-acknowledged type of loss. I have read a number of grief memoirs, but they are almost all about the deaths of spouses or children. This is the first time I have read a book like this about the death of a friend, and I am thankful for Zaldivar's willingness to write about this trauma without undercutting it. Her testimonial of profound love and loss honors the value of platonic friendship in a beautiful way, and I am so grateful for this unique and needed approach to talking about death and grief.

I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Edy Gies · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, funny story. I put this book on my Amazon wish list because it was AI suggested to me and apparently, I thought it looked good. A relative got it for me for Christmas off my wish list and when I opened it I had no recollection of ever seeing the book before so I was confused yet excited. Anyway, I had just finished rereading Little Women so that's probably how this book found me and I'm glad it did. It's about grief, pain, growing, and trusting God. I found it helpful and the connection to Louisa May Allcot was interesting too.

[Mandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t even express how beautifully Melissa ties together scripture, glimpses of Little Women, and her own story of grief. The audiobook was so moving because of her passionate narration, but now I will buy the book in print so that I can keep it on the shelf, mark the most powerful parts, share it with friends in difficult seasons, and find comfort in it down the road when grief strikes close to home.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very honest and beautiful portrait of grief and the hope of Jesus in the midst of it. Mainly focused in the author’s loss of a close friend which I didn’t specifically relate to, but it was still relatable for anyone who had experienced any type of loss and is grieving. I loved the Orchard House bits and learned more of Louisa May Alcott’s story in the process.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really beautiful book on grief told through a Christian lens. If you love the March Sisters, it is extra special as the author gives tours of Orchard House and there are so many Little Women references!

[Adie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hate that I needed this book, but I'm so thankful that I found it! I love that she speaks truth about grief and friendship and hope and eternity. These are words of hope and encouragement, reminders that you are not alone in the loss you are facing or have experienced.
And it helps that it has the beautiful literary classic Little Women keeping pace with our modern stories of grief and grace.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the honesty and grace in this book. Honesty about how raw grief is and grace to grieve when the world seems indifferent or critical to your pain. Thank you for writing this Melissa! ❤️❤️❤️

[andimae · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I should have read this slowly, but I couldn’t put it down. Grief, Little Women, and Jesus. All I can say is it’s a must read and thank you to the author for putting these words on a page.

[Michaela Heath · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Grief is in part what makes us human. It exposes us to what’s already there. It wounds us, certainly, but it also has a way of bringing to light some of the corners of our hearts that maybe have barely been seen before.”

A really relatable and encouraging view of grief and the process. Would recommend.

[Ruth Potinu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and honest. Loved the Orchard House tidbits woven throughout the book.

[Annalise Nakoneczny · Rating 5 out of 5]

(I was taught that you can use an author's first name only if you know them personally so HAH take that arbitrary rules.)

Melissa's book is a conversation, not a lecture. She invites the reader into her experience and into the historical experience of Louisa May Alcott in wading through grief. Her reflections on faith are poignant and honest and authentic. The quality and style of her writing is engaging, funny, gentle, and visceral. I'm very lucky to know her and call her friend. This book will bless many. It's certainly blessed me.

[Deja Roden · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We’d met at Bible College for crying out loud, but when it came time to cry out loud, all that came out was the parting of the Red Sea and the fact that Jesus walked on water.” -Ch. 5

[Christine Bradford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melissa Zaldivar takes her readers on a journey of suffering, loss, waiting, and grief into the arms of Jesus in What Cannot Be Lost: How Jesus Holds Us Together When Life is Falling Apart. Not a typical memoir, her experiences and reflections are masterfully woven into the experiences and reflections found in Louisa May Alcott’s classic Little Women. Zaldivar’s experience of working at Orchard House, a historic house museum in the longtime home of the Alcott family, affords the author a unique perspective. Connecting the author’s own narrative with the narrative of characters in Alcott’s novel gives the reader multiple ways to engage with the deep themes presented by Zaldivar.

Zaldivar offers honest and often raw thoughts about suffering and loss. At many junctures in this book, the reader is faced with Zaldivar’s difficulties that are so enduring and challenging that you begin wishing for a break from all the hardship. This, however, seems to be by design. She wants us to know that Jesus is near and our experience with Him can be rich and meaningful while we are in the midst of hardship, not merely when we make it to the other side.

The author carefully offers words of hope without offering simple, quick, shallow responses to life’s challenges. She is careful not to suggest that relief is right around the corner. Zaldivar shares her experiences watching a dear friend fall sick and die. With many miles separating the two friends, and Melissa’s depleted finances due to unemployment, she grieves the life of her friend that is slipping away, but she also grieves the loss of being more physically present with her dear friend. We are graciously reminded by Melissa Zaldivar and Louisa May Alcott of the “the strange reality of death and redemption.” Of the harrowing days while Alcott’s sister was dying, Alcott said to her, “I shall be better all my life for these sad hours with you.” Zaldivar confesses to us that her grief has not evaporated, but her “posture shifted from ‘I need it to be fine’ to ‘I’m going to trust that eventually, it will be different.’” When pushed to limits she had never before been pushed to, the author discovers that Jesus remains faithful. His goodness endures even though suffering does not end and the hardships continue.

While the book is autobiographical, it is evident the author is not merely interested in just telling her story. She wants us to understand her story in the midst of God’s large story, His narrative unfolded in His word. His Word reminds us to “keep moving along-despite doubts, imperfect memories, and darkness-toward light.” The author takes us slowly through her experiences and the experiences of the characters in Little Women, reminding us that the pace of spiritual growth is often much slower than we would like. Through many years of writing, Louis May Alcott thought sensationalism and drama would be money-makers for her, but in the end it was Little Women, the story that Alcott “deemed dull,” that would be the celebrated story. For both Alcott and Zaldivar, “It’s almost like the ordinary leads the way.”

While this was not the easiest book to read, I enjoyed it very much. I, too, am facing unexpected unemployment as Zaldivar did. It would have been an easier read if that loss had been quickly resolved for the author, but alas, it was not. Zaldivar wrote in a way that I could both find hope in the midst of my current unresolved hardships and at the same time lament the reality that on this side of heaven we “will always be missing something or someone.” She comforts us with the words that our grief “is not the very end of the story, friend.” I felt gently reminded of all I can experience in Christ while on this journey. The book was a welcome relief from hearing a list of things I need to do better when I face adversity. Ultimately, Zaldivar reminds us of the beautiful truth that “God doesn’t want us to be the best, he just wants us to be his.” Amen.