Three Deceivers

by Richard Eyre, Featured on Glenn Beck's national radio program (Foreword)

As featured on Glenn Beck Radio program. How Today's Obsessions with
Control, Ownership, & Independence
are Destroying the Quality of Our Lives
Control, Ownership and Independence... these are time-honored and highly desirable concepts, right? Wrong! According to New York Times #1 best selling author, Richard Eyre who sees Control, Ownership, & Independence as The Three Deceivers. Why? Because they are unobtainable, and actually undesirable! Having more control, more ownership, and more independence are the wrong goals, says Eyre. Their elusive pursuit draws us away from God and diminishes our relationships with other people.

At a time of huge uncertainty in our world, Eyre attests that his new book strikes at the very heart of the three chief contributors to unhappiness and frustration in our lives. Richard not only exposes and debunks The Three Deceivers but more importantly he introduces the reader to The Three Alternatives --- those goals and attitudes that will lead us to happier, more spiritually satisfying and stress free lives.

Genres: Nonfiction

244 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Writers, lecturers, and grassroots and media catalysts, Linda and Richard Eyre's mission statement: "Our vision is to FORTIFY FAMILIES by celebrating commitment, popularizing parenting, glorifying grandparenting, bolstering balance, and validating values." Their latest efforts in these directions are their new books (The Happy Family [St. Martins Press], Empty Nest Parenting [Bookcraft], and The Book of Nurturing [McGraw Hill]) and their regular appearances on The CBS Early Show. Richard's new book, The Three Deceivers: How our obsessions with ownership, control and independence are ruining the quality of our lives, will be published next year.

Richard is president of a management consulting company and a ranked senior tennis player. He was a "mission president" for his church in London, and a candidate for Governor of Utah.

Richard and Linda have nine children (one of every kind) and live in Washington, D.C. and Salt Lake City.

Reviews

[Tristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

New York Times bestselling author Richard M. Eyre has been in the business of educating families for years. Teamed with his wife Linda, he has been instrumental in bringing to the attention of America the need to focus on our families and teach them values and principles of honesty and decency that will serve them well throughout their lives. With his release of "The Three Deceivers," Richard discusses a new theme - the ways in which we lie to ourselves about those things that will bring us the most joy.

We live in a land of free enterprise, and I think it's safe to say that we've all grown up with ideas of making it big and being successful. As we set these goals for our future, we can get caught up in what Richard calls the three deceivers: control, ownership, and independence. When used appropriately, these three things can bless our lives, but unfortunately, they are most often used to excess and without proper understanding, and we end up miserable and out of focus.

Richard suggests that we instead focus on the three alternatives, which are serendipity, stewardship, and synergicity. I'll leave it to him to explain these principles to you as you read the book, but essentially we learn that by being more open to the blessings around us and acknowledging where they come from, we will be happier and more successful than we ever would have been otherwise.

The truths taught in this book are marvelous as we understand that it's how we view the world around us that creates our experiences, whether we feel entitled to what we have or if we know that we are blessed for receiving it. I did feel that some segments were redundant and I would have liked to see it thinned out a little bit, but this minor thing didn't keep me from appreciating the book and the message it shares.

[MykeWeber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant! This is the second time I’ve read this book. I have striven to apply it’s principles in the interim and my life has been greatly blessed by it’s truths and concepts. The deception of Control, Ownership and Independence are what’s wrong with this world and the Alternatives are most certainly the cure. To me this has been and essential, though tedious, read.

[Brianna Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Three Deceivers

This is another book I am so grateful that I found, and will refer to often. The core message of the book is so useful and thought provoking. So much of this book is written beautifully and has wonderful, life changing messages. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem that the author used an editor at all in preparing this book for publication. The kindle version that I read is badly formatted, with distracting page breaks all over the place. The information was not organized well. The first portion of the book drags on and on, in a gimmicky, car salesman kind of way. I had to get used to the author’s style by taking the book in small doses, which worked wonderfully well in helping me think about the ideas presented over the long term. I definitely needed these ideas and many paradigm shifts that were introduced. I also grew quite fond of the author, his wife, and family, and I hope none of them read this review because I would love to meet them and learn more from them and be great friends. I felt torn about leaving a less than glowing review but I felt I had to be honest. It might be hard to get through the book because of the way it’s written, but I am convinced it is very much worth it. I do appreciate so much the efforts of the author in sharing these wonderful principles with the world. It has changed my life.

[Brent McGregor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Basically, an out of the box look at how the self help industry,INDUSTRY, uses the illusions of Control Ownership and Independence to peddle their warmed over pablum. Just about everyone has read some self help book, from the classics like Thought Vibrations, to Think and Grow Rich, and How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Eyre argues that while you may be able to manipulate others and your environment you will never be able to control either. True happiness comes from recognizing that self control is what really matters.
People waste their lives away trying to force and bully their ways through relationships. This isn't to say that all their advice is bad; most of it is good, just not focusing on what is best and who really is behind it all.
Eyre makes great use of Serindipity as the alternative to control that we really should seek. By maintaining a balance of preparation and openness to what comes along that may be better than what we originally want, we find ourselves relying of God and his wisdom. This is a vital part of any self improvement course, and it is mostly missing from the self help world.
He also makes valid points for Ownership and Independence, but you can read for yourself.

Actually, that's another point: When will a second edition come out?

[VeeDawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not well written or organized particularly well, still the ideas were helpful. It was in a format more appropriate for the blog that it was originally written to be. I think there really should be a balance in our efforts to "control" things--self-control is good, but many other things are beyond our control and we should just relax and let God run the universe. I really agree that we don't "own" things, we are just stewards over them, and that idea changes how you handle those things. I also liked the idea that we are not as "independent" as we really think. At least we are not very happy trying to live that way. We not only need other people, we actually do better when we include them. I love the idea that 2+2 doesn't equal just 4, with synergy it could equal 10! I've actually seen that happen. Good ideas--strive to find the balance.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I began this book, I thought Eyre was a bit out in left field. However, the more I read, the more sense it all makes. We are watching the results of a society that has been consumed with power, greed and selfishness. We see our youth looking to gangs for a sense of belonging. We see many looking for a hand out. Eyre exposes what he calls "The Three Deceivers" and claims that they are threatening our happiness. It rings true. It makes sense! The alternative attitudes he suggests can strengthen our relationships and help us find happiness we seek. The attitudes are good even if he stretched to find the right names for them. I think this is a thought provoking book that is worth the read.

I got my book online at www.one2another.net/?c=RE3D-M209

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wordy and unorganized. I skimmed the book. The ideas were not new to me.

[Troy Beals · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully inspirational.