The Uncaged Sky: My 804 days in an Iranian prison

by Kylie Moore-Gilbert

‘The sky above our heads was uncaged and unlike us, free.’

The extraordinary true story of Kylie Moore-Gilbert’s fight to survive 804 days imprisoned in Iran.

On September 12, 2018 British-Australian academic Kylie Moore-Gilbert was arrested at Tehran Airport by Iran’s feared Islamic Revolutionary Guards. Convicted of espionage in a shadowy trial presided over by Iran’s most notorious judge, Dr Moore-Gilbert was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

Incarcerated in Tehran’s Evin and Qarchak prisons for 804 days, this is the full and gripping account of her harrowing ordeal. Held in a filthy solitary confinement cell for months, and subjected to relentless interrogation, Kylie was pushed to the limits of her endurance by extreme physical and psychological deprivation.

Kylie’s only lifeline was the covert friendships she made with other prisoners inside the Revolutionary Guards’ maximum-security compound where she had been ‘disappeared’, communicating in great danger through the air vents between cells, and by hiding secret letters in hava khori, the narrow outdoor balcony where she was led, blindfolded, for a solitary hour each day.

Cut off from the outside world, Kylie realised she alone had the power to change the dynamics of her incarceration. To survive, she began to fight back, adopting a strategy of resistance with her captors. Multiple hunger strikes, letters smuggled to the media, co-ordinated protests with other prisoners and a daring escape attempt led to her transfer to the isolated desert prison, Qarchak, to live among convicted criminals.

On November 25, 2020, after more than two years of struggle, Kylie was finally released in a high stakes three-nation prisoner swap deal orchestrated by the Australian government, laying bare the complex game of global politics in which she had become a valuable pawn.

Written with extraordinary insight and vivid immediacy, The Uncaged Sky is Kylie Moore-Gilbert’s remarkable story of courage and resilience, and a powerful meditation on hope, solidarity and what it means to be free.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Politics, Audiobook, Iran, Australia

403 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 30, 2022

About the author

Kylie Moore-Gilbert is an Australian-British academic in Islamic studies. She was a lecturer at the University of Melbourne's Asia Institute and has carried out research into revolutions in the Middle East, in particular Bahraini politics and protests.

From September 2018 to November 2020, she was imprisoned in Iran on a charge of espionage. Moore-Gilbert denies the charges the Iranian government made against her, and no evidence of her alleged crimes has ever been made public. The Australian government has rejected the charges as "baseless and politically motivated".

Her book, The Uncaged Sky: My 804 days in an Iranian prison, published by Ultimo Press, was shortlisted for the 2022 Nonfiction Age Book of the Year and for the 2023 Victorian Premier's Prize for Nonfiction. - Wikipedia

Reviews

[Jultri · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25/5. I have a weakness for well-written memoirs written by those who have overcome tremendous adversities, and who subsequently were able to articulate their experiences in order to aid their own healing and that of others, who are traversing or have traversed through similar ordeals. Dr Kylie Moore-Gilbert's recollection of her nightmarish time incarcerated in an Iranian prison, half of which was in solitary confinement, fits the bill of memoirs to inspire and offer hope. Falsely accused and convicted of espionage while on an academic visit to the country, she was held in the notorious Qarchak prison where she was subjected to psychological and physical torture. Through it all, though her freedom had been curtailed, her mind and her dignity remained free from oppression. That and the support of some of her fellow prisoners kept her hopes alive through the darkest of days. It is for these brave women that this book was born, to give voice to their plights when their voices have been muted, many of whom remain behind bars under some trumped-up charges against the IRG, some are intellects such as herself who just found themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time, and others are ordinary Iranian citizens turned activists who braved the wrath of the regime in order to promote changes for a better Iran. May they all one day see a limitless uncaged sky again.

Effective narration by Dr Moore-Gilbert herself.

[Kinga · Rating 5 out of 5]

This turned out to be surprisingly unputdownable. I worried that in 804 days in prison things could get repetitive, but Kylie Moore-Gilbert is not just mentally strong, she is also a very good writer. (Given her credentials I don't think she needed a ghostwriter).

She is a woman after my own heart, and didn't spend much time navel-gazing. She focused on what little she could win, and what little she could control, and with her the reader celebrates every small gain, and despairs over every setback. Even though, I felt she was occasionally naïve, the way someone who lived a privileged life in the Western democracy might be, she quickly course corrected.

The most interesting parts were the descriptions of the other women she met along the way and her volatile relationship with Qazi Zadeh, her case worker who developed romantic feelings for her. (And with the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in, and the insanity of solitary confinement, they were almost reciprocated). Honestly, the whole thing had me on the edge of my seat (metaphorically, as I listened to it on the nursery run every morning).

She leaves many things unsaid, and I admire her restraint when describing her husband's (now ex-husband) behaviour. If I were writing a book about my husband left me to rot in an Iranian prison and checked out of our marriage (and hooked up with my colleague) I would not be pulling any punches.

[Ron Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

some background. In 2007 I travelled around Iran for a month. Before leaving, many people asked me did I feel it was safe? It was a time when many saw the world as a “us or them” situation. George Bush had his “axis of evil”. I wanted to get up close and personal to one of these “evil” places.

I had a wonderful time in Iran and met some wonderful people. It confirmed with me that often those countries that have the worst governments have the best citizens. I was helped wherever I went and was invited into several homes.

Some years later I began to teach English to Afghan refugees, and I had an Iranian woman appointed as the interpreter. Her first language was Farsi, she had studied Dari the language of Afghanistan From her I learnt some words and phrases of both languages. She had a dismissive attitude to the mullahs of Iran. Once she went to the dentist, when I next saw her I asked about her visit to the dentist. She told me he had extracted a 'mullah'! It was with this background that have developed an interest in this fascinating country.

I can remember reading a few column inches about this Australian academic being imprisoned in Iranian, later when I saw photos, I saw that she was an attractive young woman. She did not fit any expectation of a person who would be a threat to the Mullahs of Iran.

Before going into accounts of her memoir I think one very strong message to from this book is, if you are Jewish or you have had any contact with Israel in the recent past, do not travel to Iran. There is no justification to what the regime did to Ms. Moore-Gilbert but if you are aware of the Israeli inspired attacks on Iranian citizens and military/atomic facilities then you would have some understanding of their fear and hatred of Israel and any hints of spies and others from Israel in their country. Of course, Iran is no innocent partner in this violent subterfuge war between the two countries. It is not mentioned in the book but the exchange of prisoners for Ms Moore-Gilbert to be released was with three Iranians who had attempted to kill Israeli diplomats in Thailand.

Ms Moore-Gilbert is a talented writer, and the book held my interest for the whole 400 pages. She does not dwell on one particular aspect of her incarceration for too long. She introduces a range of characters with descriptive enhancement that gives them human foibles and characteristics that the reader can identify and understand.

The most appalling character was her male interrogator, gaoler, torturer and most appallingly, her would be paramour. A sleaze extraordinaire. I wonder if he will ever get to read about himself. My Iranian friend had spoken about the hypocritical behaviour of some Iranian men in powerful position and her comments probably apply to many men in powerful positions who see women as sexual objects. They fantasize that women are attracted to them. At times I was bilious reading about him and what he did to Moore-Gilbert.

The Iranian judicial system is a total fraud. Reading about Abolqasem Salavati (the ‘hanging judge’) made me reflect on how anyone trained in law could behaviour like this individual? Google him, he is from central casting, in the villain section. Like so much of Iran the legal system is filled with hypocrisy.

One of the pleasing aspect of this story are the friendships and bonds that she gained with other Iranian women she met in the prisons, Evin and Qarchak.

One part of her time in prison that I could really feel for her was the absence of reading material and how the evil one kept books from her.

I came away from this book with various feelings, the strongest was a huge admiration for the author, her resilience and her desire, both while imprisoned and after, to not be a victim of her inhumane treatment. Having seen her and read articles about her she appears to have survived the experience but has taken steps forward to take her message to a wider audience. She will not be a victim.

In conclusion, I think it is important to be critical of Iran but to also acknowledge that Western countries and in particular my own country of Australia are not totally innocent parties in the process of gaoling innocent people and treating them appallingly. The case of Julian Assange screams out. The use of Guantanamo Bay by the Americans to detain people indefinitely without trial and based on little if any evidence. Finally, my country's imprisonment for indefinite periods of refugees, many seeking refuge from the Iranian regime!

A very worthwhile read.

What would greatly interest me would be an insiders account of how the Australian Government negotiated with the Iranians, the Thais and Israel to secure Moore-Gilbert's release.

[Nora|KnyguDama · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dirbi savo mokslinį darbą, jo reikalais keliauji į Teheraną ir jo oro uoste tave ima ir sulaiko Irano islamo revoliucijos gvardija. Tiesiog va taip sugalvoja, kad tu esi šnipė ir nuteisia kalėjimui. Knygos autorė, mokslininkė tai patyrė ir siaubingose sąlygose tame kalęjime praleido 804 dainas.

Nemažai turim knygų apie panašias patirtis ir jos visos, net jei panašios, iš naujo stebina apskritai faktu, kad pasaulyje vis dar vyksta tokie dalykai. Kad yra šalių, kur teisinė sistema, nuosprendžiai, įkalinimas kartais priklauso nuo orų prognozių, valdžios nuotaikos ar tiesiog kokio gvardijos nario sapnų. Tragedija. Ir kai į toki mėšlą patenka vakarietė mokslininkė - neišprotėt sunku.

Autorei pavyko, nes elgėsi tikrai racionaliai, tačiau drąsiai. Jos patirties nuvertint jokiu būdu negalima, tačiau mano suvokimu, knyga per ilga. Daug pasikartojimų, daug to paties per tą patį ir vietomis gan sausokai. Įdomiausia buvo skaityti kaip kalinės kalėjime bandė bendrauti, kas atrodo visiškai neįmanoma. Bet žmogus - socialus padaras ir net tokiomis sąlygomis jos atrasdavo, kad ir rizikingų būdų, tačiau būdų bendrauti ir dalintis išgyvenimais. Įdomu buvo skaityti ir apie maištus, bei bandymus susisiekti su savo šalimi, kai tau į ausį rėkia, kad tu šnipė, ir tavo vyras šnipas ir dabar šnipinėsit mums. Kam patinka tokio tipo knygos ir norit labai detaliai susipažinti su Teherano "teisingumu ir tvarka" - pamėginkit.

[Emily Bowman · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Uncaged Sky is beautifully written and was incredibly difficult to put down - despite knowing that Kylie is now safe and sound, I was anxious to find out what happened next and how Kylie was eventually freed from her unjust imprisonment.

Kylie has a powerful and important message to share about freedom and human connection, told through her own harrowing story of survival in horrific circumstances, and I was lucky enough to meet her in person at her book launch and see what a truly incredible and strong person she is.

[Caren · Rating 5 out of 5]

The reader of Kylie Moore-Gilbert’s harrowing memoir of her incarceration by Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards cannot help but wonder how this Australian academic retained her sanity and resilience throughout her two nightmarish years of physical and psychological abuse, deprivation, long periods of solitary confinement and relentless interrogation in the “parallel universe” that was Islamic Iran. Her memoir is certainly a confronting read, but also a “powerful meditation on hope, solidarity and what it means to be free.” For the most part, Moore-Gilbert attributed her survival to sustained ”emotional disassociation”, a “numbing of the acute pain, angst and trauma” she had initially experienced.

Her account of her daily struggles included the dark episodes of depression, but her bravery in fighting back against the injustices through her friendships with other imprisoned women, hunger strikes, protests and leaks to her family and media sources. The detail of her incarceration was meticulous, both the physical and emotional detail of her deprivation. What was the most striking was the game-playing conducted by the authorities, the misinformation that was fed to her, the constant surveillance by informers, spies placed around her to report back to those with the power to intimidate her and block her release. And, disappointingly, the Australian authorities seemed to have been largely unsuccessful in their attempts to get her released, certainly until the prisoner exchange deal on November 25, 2020. I realise, however, that Moore-Gilbert herself would have been largely unaware of what was happening behind the scenes and careful after her release not to openly discuss how this release was negotiated.

Although she mentioned that her marriage had broken down, she rarely referred to her husband, Ruslan, nor seemed during her imprisonment to dwell on any memories of their time together. I attributed this, perhaps, to the pain it caused her to realise that he had mysteriously withdrawn his support from her with no personal clarification or communication. Thus, this part of her life remained hidden. The relationship between Kylie and her case manager, Qazi Zadeh, was a source of both relief, when he managed to support her, and of suspicious behaviour when he appeared to be flirting with her or responding with anger to his “injured” male ego.

The account of the human rights abuses and of the “fundamentalist religious ideology which thrives on the binaries of us versus them, of good versus evil, and of Muslim versus non-Muslim” was ultimately bone-chilling. I admire the author for her ability to divorce the regime from the 84 million Iranians who live in this “open-air prison”.

[Aiste Bu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story of academic researcher who was accused of espionage and put into jail in Iran. I have been to Iran myself - beautiful country with so much to offer and it was so hard to read about such injustice. However, the book itself seemed too long: "he said that, I said that" and repeating it many times.
I absolutely feel sorry for the author and do not question her experience but it is just the way the book is put.

"Dvylika mėnesių pasaulyje, kuriame laikas neegzistavo, kuriame kiekviena diena tęsėsi ir minutę, ir dešimtmetį, kuriame kiekviena savaitė truko ir sekundę, ir šimtą metų. Regis, praeitas ramadanas buvo vakar, nes per tuos metus beveik nieko neįvyko. Kita vertus, nutiko labai daug. Ir daug, ir nieko."

"Ar vis dar nesupranti, kad nėra prasm��s nei viltis, nei nusivilti? Vienintelis būdas išgyventi - nieko nejausti ir nesitikėti".

[Skirmantė Rugsėjis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Įprastai mėgstu tokio tipo knygas, tad bandydama šiemet grįžti prie skaitymo, pasirinkau ją specialiai, tikėdamasi, kad tikrai įtrauks.

Bet jau nuo pusės susidomėjimas ėmė silpti, vos ne vos iškankindavau po keliasdešimt puslapių, kol šiaip ne taip užbaigiau.

Knyga smarkiai per ilga, trūksta gilesnių asmeninių emocijų, daug kur tai tiesiog chronologinis atpasakojimas su begaliniais pasikartojimais. Ištisi puslapiai apie nereikšmingus dalykus, kurie tiesiog nuobodūs. Net ir kažkokios kalėjimų autentikos man čia pasirodė labai nedaug.

Džiaugiuosi už šią moterį ir tai, kad jai pavyko ištrūkti, bet vertinant ne jos išsivadavimą, o tiesiog tai, kaip parašyta knyga, lieka šiaip sau įspūdis.

Taip pat kliuvo pagrindinės veikėjos nesulietuvintas vardas, Kailė ar Kaili būtų daug paprasčiau atrodę už tą anglišką paliktą. Ir taip vieni vardai su lietuviška galūne, kiti ne. Vieni originalūs, kiti bandyti sulietuvinti. Dar vertimo keistenybės pvz "susprogdinti paskyrą" (interneto). Turėta omenyje jos sunaikinimas, bet tokie keisti pažodiniai išsireiškimai nepadėjo įsijausti į šią knygą.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

My interest started as curiosity about how Moore-Gilbert managed to stay sane through it all.  Decades ago I read Brian Keenan's An Evil Cradling, (1991), his account of his four years as a hostage in Beirut, and what has stayed with me after all these years is the horror of the situation these men found themselves in; how Keenan's friendship with fellow hostage John McCarthy sustained him; and the remarkable lack of bitterness afterwards.  I still remember how I found myself wondering about whether I had the inner resources to cope in such a situation, deprived of everything that I hold dear.

Moore-Gilbert's answer to this is that survival depends on taking control of what can be controlled.  Her initial shock, disbelief and horror at being detained in solitary confinement for espionage in Evin Prison gave way to fighting back when she realised that the relentless interrogations and false hopes of release were never going to end. Her cooperation was having no effect.  Instead of trying to conceal her emotions, she detached from her 'old self' and expressed her anger and frustrations; she challenged her interrogators over their lies; and she went on hunger strikes to get improvements in her atrocious living conditions and to be allowed access to consular assistance.  In a patriarchal society and one where the Revolutionary Guard holds immense power and status, she refused to respect the men who were using her as a pawn in 'hostage diplomacy'.

Moore-Gilbert's case challenges the official Australian government policy of 'quiet diplomacy' in situations like this.  She argues that the media coverage and campaign to free her was effective, but since there is silence about what our diplomats did behind the scenes, it's hard to know what works best in an invidious situation.  After all, there is probably no 'best way' to deal with regimes that have no respect for human rights and sanction the abuse of power by men who are fundamentally unreasonable.  Each case is unique.

To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2022/04/13/t...

[Geetha Chandran · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was very excited to receive this book as a gift and to learn about this ordeal , an innocent academic trying to learn about Iran but jailed for her curiosities and link to her Russian Jewish husband . This book however was a recount of what happened next , rather the narrative I was expecting of the why , the emotions and the back stories . I guess I wanted to hear more of who Kylie is , what she learnt about the country , what she taught and what she would teach now . And how did all of this change her ?

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Gripping Tale of Resilience and Humanity in "The Unchanged Sky: My 804 Days in an Iranian Prison"

I recently delved into Dr. Kylie Moore-Gilbert's audiobook, "The Unchanged Sky: My 804 Days in an Iranian Prison," having discovered it after reading "You Are Accused" by Raphael Rowe. The narrative unfolds Kylie Moore-Gilbert's harrowing experience as a British Australian academic arrested by Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard, leading to a shadowy trial and a 10-year prison sentence.

One of the most compelling aspects of the audiobook is Moore-Gilbert's ability to maintain a balanced perspective despite enduring 804 days of imprisonment, with over a year spent in solitary confinement. Her reflections on the Iranian people, distinguishing between her captors' kindness and harshness, showcase a nuanced understanding that transcends the traumatic events she endured.

The audiobook vividly depicts Moore-Gilbert's resilience, as she navigates filthy conditions, relentless interrogations, and physical and psychological limits. Her lifeline becomes the covert relationships and friendships forged within the maximum-security prison, revealed through secret notes and hidden conversations. The genuine friendships she describes with fellow prisoners add a heartfelt dimension to the narrative.

What struck me most about Moore-Gilbert's story is her refusal to lay blame on the Iranian people, recognizing that she is just one of many who have suffered at the hands of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard. Her engagement in hunger strikes, letter smuggling, and coordinated protests with fellow prisoners underscores her determination to bring attention to her plight.

While the audiobook captivated my interest, I did find the narration initially jarring, with a tone that didn't connect with me. However, considering the inclusion of Farsi passages, it becomes understandable why Moore-Gilbert chose to narrate her story herself. Over time, I acclimated to the narration, almost forgetting the initial discomfort.

As an Australian, I was surprised that I had not heard of Moore-Gilbert's plight earlier, perhaps attributed to the overwhelming news cycle during significant COVID restrictions. I wondered if media attention could have expedited her release through a higher-profile swap.

My only complaint lies in the wish for more information about the fate of Moore-Gilbert's fellow prisoners. Their stories, touched upon in the narrative, left me craving a deeper understanding of their experiences.

In conclusion, "The Unchanged Sky" is a powerful testament to resilience and the enduring human spirit. Dr. Kylie Moore-Gilbert's story, though painful, is an enlightening journey that sheds light on the complexities of her ordeal and the humanity that endured within the confines of an Iranian prison. The audiobook, despite initial narration reservations, is a compelling and thought-provoking experience that deserves recognition.

[Paul Lockman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kylie Moore-Gilbert writes really well in this engaging memoir of her time spent in an Iranian prison for supposedly being a spy for the 'Zionist regime'. The conditions she endured were pretty harsh and she is to be admired for her incredible perseverance and mental fortitude. I took a star off because it just dragged a little for me towards the end, I felt 50 or so pages could have been cut. There was just a little too much detail. I can understand why she wanted to describe everything she experienced down to the finest detail, it must have been somewhat cathartic for her to do so. But it was slightly repetitive in parts. I also would have liked much more information on her adjustment to freedom when she was finally released and got home. There's only a couple of pages on that. Overall though, kudos to Kylie for enduring what she did and for writing this very good account of her imprisonment.

[Anabell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the best book I’ve ever read easy 6/5 stars. Made me second guess my rating system ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Jaclyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Moore-Gilbert details her experience of imprisonment in Iran and it’s as harrowing as you expect it to be. What is remarkable is that she somehow withstood it. Her methods of resistance throughout her ordeal are both inspiring and infuriating as she herself admits that some of them meant her prison stay was lengthened. Her drawing attention to the plight of other Iranian women prisoners she befriends is so important as is her insights into a regime and a country we read about in the news but cannot fully comprehend. Moore-Gilbert admits to her own naivety at times but it can be frustrating to read, especially the flirtation and almost romance that develops between herself and a senior official in the IRGC. Her story takes place almost entirely on Iranian soil and I would have liked to hear more about what was being done by her family, university and diplomatic channels to secure her release though I suspect she might have written or spoken about this elsewhere (I’ll be seeking this out). I dislike when writers use people’s weight and their body shape as the main way to describe them and Moore-Gilbert did that here with almost every guard who crossed her path. An unusual choice for me to read but I seem to feel a magnetic pull to all memoir at the moment.

[Meg · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'll start off by saying that what Kylie M-G went through was awful and I strongly admire her fortitude through an unimaginable experience. My rating reflects the book not the person or her story, and unfortunately I just didn't like this book. Something about it just grated me and I found myself getting frustrated and less and less sympathetic towards her the more I read. It was too long and repetitive and apart from the last section it was not reflective or insightful. I would have rated it 3 stars but had to take a star away because of the multiple uses of judgemental and stigmatising language towards sex workers and people who use drugs, as well as the constant and negative focus on people's bodies and appearance.

[Kelli Humphries · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was absolutely transfixed by this book. Coincidentally, the bookmark I was using while reading it was a quote by an Egyptian feminist and political activist - "she is free to do what she wants, and free not to do it". Unfortunately for Dr Kylie Moore-Gilbert she was very much not free to do what she wanted, but it did make for great reading. My first 'unputdownable' of 2023.

[Anžela Jasinevičiūtė · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5 iš 5.

Įdomi, emocijų kupina knyga. Skaityti buvo tikrai įdomu: vietomis pykau, vietomis buvo graudu ir skaudu. Patiko, kad istorija paremta tikrais faktais — tai suteikė autentiškumo. Šiaip skaičiau su malonumu.

Kas nepatiko:
Knyga pasirodė pernelyg ištempta. Autorė daugiau dėmesio skyrė asmeninėms peripetijoms, net flirtui su pareigūnu, bet pritrūko išsamaus kalėjimo kasdienybės vaizdo. Norėjosi sužinoti, ką jie valgė, ką gėrė, kaip ji mokėsi persų kalbos, ką mąstė, kuo užsiimdavo, koks buvo dienos režimas. Atrodė, kad kameros aprašytos, bet tikro gyvenimo už grotų vis tiek iki galo nesupratau.

Verdiktas:
Įdomu, autentiška, bet labiau asmeninė istorija nei gili kalėjimo kasdienybės analizė.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an absolutely incredible story - so much respect and admiration for Kylie and her experience.

[Rod Hunt · Rating 4 out of 5]

A superb read - harrowing, tense & a story full of dread but clever and triumphant survival. A pervading sense of fear that the prospect of freedom will be removed at any time, or delayed yet again, in amongst squalor, filth and poverty. In some ways a morality tale - reason to stand up for those unfairly imprisoned and for fair conditions in all prisons.

[Tuesdayschild · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gritty memoir of a harrowing, life imploding, nightmare. Well written, and the audiobook is narrated by the author.

Extra: quite a few f.bombs.
I appreciated the interview by Sky News Australia, it precedes the book, and can currently be found on youtube: https://youtu.be/yTCLw9dXZKo

[molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily the best book I read this year. Truly incredible

[Pip Tlaskal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came to this via Sarah Wilson's excellent interview with KMG on her podcast which intrigued enough for me to listen to her read her book on Audible. I was astounded by the determination and sheer intellect that she managed to sustain in such harsh conditions. I was fascinated by the power dynamic of the strange relationship triangle between a supervisor, his wife (a guard) and KMG. His obsession with her almost certainly kept her in longer. Rage at the extreme patriarchal system of the Revolutionary guards is a consequence of any woman reading this book, though interestingly, they are not allowed to touch the female prisoners at all which saved her from another layer of assault. Her academic persona is very evident and while it was cheering to hear of the fun and joy she experienced with her befriended cell mates, a narrative writer would have taken us into those conversations and those relationships rather than leaving us at the door of the cell. But then again, it is her tale and she tells it with grim and uncompromising rigour. Her voice is very sad and bleak on Audible, as you would expect, but this is a story that will stay with you for a long time. I wish her recovery from the trauma and encourage everyone to support Amnesty International.

[Jacqui · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn't a book I would usually pick up or enjoy but it was very well written and the subject matter turned out to be fascinating. I would love to know which actions prolonged Kylie's stay and which actions sped up her release but it's probably something we'll never know. While it's easy to judge her decision-making it's impossible to know how you would behave and react if you were in Kylie's shoes.

Memorable Quotes

"As time passed, the confusion, the boredom and the loneliness gnawed away at the last threads of my sanity and my sense of who I was as a person. My understanding of myself as a unique human being with a personality and a character, with likes and dislikes, with talents, with a moral compass, with dreams and ambitions slowly diminished."

"The longer I stared up at those grey marble tiles, the less I was able to keep a hold of my own particularity. I was losing myself. I was becoming 97029."

"Your only way out is through a diplomatic deal,’ they told me. ‘They won’t release you. You are valuable, you’re an asset. They want something for you. It’s not about determining if you’re innocent or guilty; it’s about determining your price."

"A person with nothing to lose is a dangerous person indeed."

"There we stood, prisoner comforting guard, beneath the cold afternoon sky in a grey courtyard of Evin prison. One crying because she didn’t want to leave, and the other because she did."

"The best way to assert my dignity was not only to refuse to give in to his demands, but to remind him that I also had power. I had the power to laugh, to mock, to belittle. The power to ignore. The power to humiliate. Between Qazi Zadeh and I, it was personal. It was war. As long as you maintain your dignity, Kylie, I told myself, they can’t break you. If you don’t give in, you win."

"I was imprisoned within a body which was imprisoned within a prison. In this moment I hated myself."

"After all this time, haven’t you learned that there’s no point in being either hopeful or hopeless? The only way to survive is to feel nothing and expect nothing."

"You never really stopped being free – they never could take that away from you, I told myself. Find the silver lining and use this experience to do good in the world, so that there is a point and a meaning to what you went through."

"My proximity to the Revolutionary Guards taught me that sometimes good people do bad things, but that such people can often do more good from within a rotten organisation than from outside it."

"It is true that in times of crisis we discover who is prepared to fight in our corner, and who is missing in action, and often the results are surprising."

"As many Iranians have pointed out, their country itself has become an open-air prison of 84 million people."

"We who live in freedom must speak out for those who are still struggling for the everyday liberties we too often take for granted."

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

i remember when kylie moore-gilbert’s arrest made headlines on australian news. it’s kind of crazy to think that when that news was breaking, she had probably already been in jail for a year so. when i saw this at the local bookstore and read through a paragraphs or so, i decided to pick it up. although i wasn’t sure how much i’d like the content of this novel initially, i found myself intrigued and unable to put the book down. if i wasn’t reading, i was wondering what was going to happen next. i was super impressed by the level of detail kmg was able to write her experience in—especially since she was writing this at least two years after first being arrested.

the novel did begin to drag in the second half, but i think it was tied to how frustrating kmg’s predicament was. while she did her best to resist against the authorities that had wrongfully imprisoned her, her naïveté and underestimation of certain political actors meant that she might have delayed her own release. in saying all that, while it’s easy to be frustrated, i think you have to remind yourself this isn’t fiction, and that these were the actions of a woman who had been treated in an incredibly inhumane way. it’s easy to judge when you’re a reader.

one thing i did have a problem with, though, are some of the descriptions of the people encountered, particularly to their body types and their use of cosmetic surgery. it was notable to me that the people who tended to get the worst descriptions were typically people who ended up being antagonistic to kmg. i’m all for her hating the people who have done terrible things to her but the descriptions did rub me the wrong way. i personally thought it would’ve been nice to see more of a resolution in the story re her husband, or even her first few months back in australia, but i also appreciate that she’s probably shared a lot of her life in detail and she’s probably trying to keep certain things private.

[Dominique Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been deeply invested in Dr Kylie Moore-Gilbert’s ordeal, possibly because I am an academic myself and couldn’t believe she had been imprisoned.

Her memoirs tell that harrowing story of her imprisonment and really emphasise her strength to have survived such awful and frightening conditions. I really commend her for having the courage to speak up and tell her story.

I was disappointed by the book’s story telling though. There was very little depth to the story and was really just a close record of the chronological events that occurred. There was an opportunity to tell a broader contextual story, including introducing readers to her background and what makes her the way that she is. There could have been more education for readers on Iran and the Revolutionary Guard. There was also an opportunity to explore what was happening in the world (including the rescue effort). So much went on while she was imprisoned, including international support. I remember an #irunwithkylie campaign where we posted selfies of us going for a run in solidarity.

The book lacked critical thought and dimension which made it really flat. It felt like a first draft. I wish it could have been more. I desperately wanted it to be exceptional and it just wasn’t.

I hope it was cathartic for Dr Moore-Gilbert, I still remain in awe of her strength and I hope she’s doing well.

[Danial Yazdani · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember reviewing this book, but months later, I’ve noticed the review has disappeared. I’ve realised that it takes a lot of emotional energy to review it again. All I can say is:

It takes a lot for someone to love and advocate for a country who was once responsible for their suffering. This is the backstory of such a person.

[Susannah PK · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the honour of meeting KMG during her book tour. It was fascinating hearing her answers questions about what, still undoubtedly haunts her to this day.

I thought the book was well written but I would have liked more commentary on returning to Australia and being in hotel quarantine and then the aftermath of her marriage falling apart. I understand its probably no-one's business but I wanted to know how that happened etc.

KMG probably did not want to slander her ex-husband and his new partner, but I found this is a little frustrating just because the book just seemed to end very abruptly.

Overall, an excellent read and no doubt a cathartic experience for KMG.

[Cathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was compelling and very moving. The author said in an interview that while she was imprisoned by the Revolutionary Guards in Iran she had to play a deadly game in order to survive, a game in which she held none of the cards. In this compassionate account, the author not only documents her first hand experience of the cruelty of hostage diplomacy, but she reminds us of the many thousands of Iranian women in prison today, for their political beliefs, because of their poverty, or merely as victims of a fundamentalist patriarchal society. This is an important book for our times. It would make a great book club book.

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

An immersive and engaging read (actually, in my case listen) that's well written and convincingly narrated by the author. As it should be of course; hard to go wrong with a story about personal tragedy. I've read/seen a fair number of books/ movies about incarceration and, while it has its moments, this book doesn't provide much that's different. I'd have liked it to be shorter (14 hours!) and it would've been improved by more detail on the political wranglings by the Australian government to get her out of prison. Also, her life on her return to Australia would have added to the story.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written with an uncanny eye for detail and a razor-sharp recollection of events, Moore-Gilbert's memoir is an arresting read.

There's a few elements of frustration though – there's almost no context given to who she is outside of this experience, and at times her naivety is so stark it beggars belief (how could a Hebrew-speaking Middle Eastern scholar who's proficient in the geopolitical nuances of the region not anticipate issues arising in Iran when she has recent travel history to Israel and a husband who served in the IDF?)