Ego, Authority, Failure: Using Emotional Intelligence like a Hostage Negotiator to Succeed as a Leader — 2nd Edition

by Derek Gaunt

A Gallup study found that 50 percent of resigning employees did so "to get away from their manager." Those who stay with poor managers become disengaged, creating a negative work environment that costs US companies billions in lost productivity each year.

In the twenty-first century, it takes more than technical skills to be an effective manager. Productive work environments also require tactical empathy—the same fundamental skill that forms the basis of hostage negotiator leadership (HNL)—forging the quick empathetic bonds that are vital to a highly productive workplace.

Inside this book, you'll learn twelve easy-to-execute skills you can put into action right away, shifting your leadership presence from a constant struggle to a confident competitive advantage.


With plenty of cautionary tales about the damage that unchecked ego and authority can wreak in any organization, Ego, Authority, Failure can help you change that story, providing actionable techniques for a solid foundation of trust-based influence that can motivate and inspire.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Psychology

215 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 22, 2022

Reviews

[Hristiyan Spasov · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a lot of things from this book. I hope I can put them into practice. It's a really good book for everyone whi who interacts with people(so basically everyone).

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned so much from this book. I’d highly recommend it to anyone that wants to be a better communicator, leader, or friend. I look forward to reading it again.

[koneko reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book!

This book is divided into three parts:
1) Leadership Crisis
2) Ego and Authority in Leadership (discussing toxic leadership, etc.)
3) Hostage Negotiator Leadership

Sections 1 and 2 contain mostly common information, except for some new insights like "the blueflamers."

However, I find the narrative less engaging and somewhat convoluted. I also don't resonate with the way examples are presented in the form of dialogue :"D Yes, there are many conversation examples for illustrating negotiations, but the delivery lacks clarity and sometimes includes too much unnecessary information.

Anyway, here's a summary of the book 👇

There are three highlighted premises for applying HNL (from your perspective as a leader):
1) Subordinate yourself to your employees
2) Keep your ego and authority in check
3) Practice Tactical Empathy

An interesting insight here is that practicing tactical empathy involves negotiation skills similar to interrogation, but not necessarily in a criminal context.

Negotiation and interrogation skills like mirroring, paraphrasing, labeling, etc., can be applied to problem-solving or conversations among employees. The goal is for the leader to understand the employee's perspective by extracting information through implicit interrogation techniques.

[Bryan Hutcheson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every Leader should read this book

Really great book by Derek, well written with plenty of stories to illustrate. The world would be a better place if every leader followed the advice in this book. There is some commonality with Never Split The Difference but it feels like an enhancement and using the ideas from a different perspective rather than repetition.

[Cera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Read!

I heard Tim Ross recommend this book on The Basement on YouTube. "Killing your Ego" was a great interview with the author. I also enjoyed the book. My favorite part of the book is that it provides good examples of character development.

[Moises Orozco · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful and practical.

Gaunt offers rich examples and practical strategies to become a leader that actively listens and exercises high emotional intelligence especially in stressful situations.

[Chris]

Final section (last four chapters) is the heart and soul of this book. Lots of useful action items throughout these chapters.

And if you like them, consider reading “Never Split the Difference” for an even more in-depth examination of these critical techniques!

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

too long and abundant in not so relevant examples…the last 3 chapters are more than enough in order to grab the essence of the book and the relevant techniques of influence and negotiation

[Imani Nshatsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must Read

This book is one to keep and review to keep the skills it very simple and applicable to most situations.

[Shane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow a much needed for any leader

I really appreciated the explainations and examples. So helpful. I rrad never split the difference first. Much needed. Loved it