i finished this book a few days ago and i had to take some time to reflect cuz this one got me so baffled.
short version: it’s about feminism and has asian rep, so i really wanted to like it, but there were too many things that annoyed me. the characters are so bland and stereotypical that i genuinely can’t tell if this whole book is satire or not since none of them got any character development. the writing style was below bar in my opinion, none of the family drama is sought through and had way more potential, especially Eliza’s mom and sister, and even Len’s mom. the romance was very underwhelming for me too.
what had me baffled was mostly the feminism part, because some quotes are okay like some commentary from Eliza’s sister and mom, but then it’s all centered around Eliza who truly misses the point throughout the whole book. i can explain a little below...
THE ROMANCE
first of all, this book felt like it would give good enemies to lovers banter but the banter was so boring throughout the book, and look... i’m a pretty romantic person. so it’s easy to give me butterflies... but this book was so cliche that i felt bored af. i'm over the public displays of affection like public speeches in school microphones or tv, everyyybody caring about the main character’s EVERY move (this makes the story artificial because everyone knows 100% this does not happen in real life), the miscommunication trope, and neither did i feel the couple had much chemistry.
“The stuff you said in the manifesto, it was all true. I felt like you were the only one who saw through my bullshit. I felt like you really saw... me.” — noooo not the seeing-through-me-when-nobody-else-did
““Look, I’m sorry.” I say. “I don’t know what you want from me.” “I don’t want anything.” He shrugs, as if it’s absurd that I’d think anything I did could possibly bother him. Even though I’m trying to apologize, it pisses me off. “What do you want me to say, Len?” I wave his laptop like I’m about to throw it across the room. “Nothing.” He eyes the computer as it dangles from my hand but he doesn’t break his calm. “Say whatever you want, I don’t care.” — do these people have chemistry cuz this didn’t make me feel a single thing ugh
“"Yeah. Like it’s been soaked in the alcohol from a honey-lemon cough drop.” The specificity of the image, thrown so casually into the conversation, startles me, like he’s just grabbed hold of my hand. I even pull back, as if he’s really touched me, and retreat my fingers into the sleeves of my sweater. “You do have a way with words”, I admit slowly, with a joking admiration. But I mean it.” —— WHAT i thought this was satire —- Eliza im begging you to go read Austen or Woolf or the Bronte sisters cuz honey lemon cough drop is not it!!!!😭😭
“I snort. "What does she think of alternate-universe Len?" "Oh, she likes him." "Does he like her?" "Sure. They get along pretty well." 😫
““She’s obviously flirting with you.”, I argue. “She’s always flirting.” “What’s wrong with that?” He stops to face me when he says this, and I almost fall over his toes. “She knows what she wants, and she lets people know.” He doesn’t seem angry, but the remark is a blow for sure. When I can’t decide how to respond, he starts to turn away.”
the author makes both so scared to show any emotion that they give off exactly that, no emotion. for example, in this last encounter, why not make him angry? let him be frustrated at her, and let her be affected by that. give them emotion! instead, we get this insipid scene.
Eliza does get her fair share of bullying, and Len doesn’t stand up or says anything supportive about or towards her... in an eavesdropped conversation, Len even agrees she's too much to another student... it makes no sense if he loves her that he’s just going to stand there spineless and watch her get absolutely humiliated O.o but then we get hooking up scenes out of literal nowhere. overall, personally, the romance was a big letdown.
EVERYONE AGAINST LEN
the whole point of the book is that Eliza runs against Len to be chief in their school newspaper, and everybody votes for Len, and she blames it on the fact that he’s a boy, and she’s a girl. i’m not saying that doesn’t happen all the time in the real world, but here.... i would’ve voted for Len. he displays better leadership qualities. that’s it. no genders involved.
he had a better speech, showed more interest, care, and understanding. he’s super smart too and knows how to find good angles for the stories, which is numerously recognized in the book, has good cooperation skills. knowing how to lead a team is more than having a lot of awards and papers under your belt. Eliza is known for being overly critical, she is super qualified but also that gives her in her head justification to judge everyone’s papers super harshly. she’s shown to be actually kind of scary to those around her in the paper and Len has a much calmer and serene posture and overall better leadership qualities. if Eliza was a guy, i would still have voted for Len.
i felt like this was so evident that would be for sure later mentioned but nope, we’re supposed to believe Eliza lost just cuz Len is a guy. actually we don't see a single misogynistic action throughout the election, it was so clean that it gives no reason to hate Len, and so it just makes Eliza stand out as super whiny and for no reason. maybe the author should've made Len or her peers misogynistic towards her, but then it would've been super difficult for us to like Len...
i thought a sound plot of the book would be for Eliza to realize she lost not because of Len being a guy, but instead being supportive of him and realizing she can learn how to be a more understanding leader from him... but NOOOOoooo
“You heard Winona - Eliza would never be into Len. He stands for everything we’re fighting against.” 😶 suddenly Len is the “face of the patriarchy”.😶
Eliza is self-involved to a point where she doesn’t even question not once that maybe, just maybe, Len could be a great win for the newspaper. just maybe there might have been another reason that he was voted in. also the whole "having the picture in the wall" makes the win very superficial.
i don’t think it’s okay to call Len “face of the patriarchy” over and over again when he’s so nice to everybody, believes in Eliza from the start, was just friendly competition, and won fair and square.
i felt like Eliza was cruel to him throughout the book, even while beginning to like him, her comments were so backhanded like ' wow i cant believe im liking such a person '.. he's a regular nice guy, he literally never did her wrong not even once...
Eliza launched a campaign to make him look at fault, barely feeling guilty enough to come clean to him but also not enough to even consider not doing it, calling him pretty hurtful things in private without even knowing him, and making it so that the whole solution for the mess is: he has to resign so she can be editor instead ??? like what?? at least hold another election? people didn’t vote for you... and he’s the one who has to apologize and make things better.
THE FEMINISM
“it occurs to me then what a singular moment this is: here i am, inexplicably in solidarity with Serena, the girl whose entire student-council tenure has been based on nothing but marginally considerate behaviour and attractive boyfriends. Feminism is a funny thing.” this is the perfect example... Eliza claims to be a feminist and suffers under the harsh lens that women are under in society, but she herself is judging others all the time, and in this case, demeaning this girl success, and saying it’s solely because she has “attractive boyfriends”. i’m so confused, cuz this is never clarified but this *has* to be satire, right? right??!!
“We’re always making these distinctions, I realize, because we hope they will somehow protect us - just as I once insisted on separating myself from Serena, we’re now desperate to distance ourselves from Vicki. But the harshness we fear, in reality, seeps through to all of us, no matter how many lines we draw.” — what harshness? what is seeping through all of us? i don’t understand but this big realization in Eliza’s mind is literally the bare minimum of feminism so i don’t understand how she is literally throwing a walkout for feminism without understanding that we should respect other women’s choices and lives... lmao... that we should have rights to live our lives the way we want to, and we shouldn’t slut shame?? all the main character does is pit herself against all the other female characters except her best friend: her mom, her sister, Serena, the other girl who liked Len...
ELIZA BEING INSUFFERABLE
finally, i’m going to leave (unfortunately just a few of the) snippets that personally made the me feel like Eliza had few redeemable qualities:
“if you’re trying to argue that it’s not always totally boring, then sure. But I’ve never understood all this devotion.” I gesture around us. “People get so excited when their team does well, and so angry when they don’t. Including you.” Len ruffles the back of his hair, smirking. “That doesn’t seem reasonable to you?” “No, I think it seems like a form of tribalism. It’s one of those things that everyone accepts is normal, but is kind of weird when you think about it. Because what do you or I really get if Willoughby wins this game?” - this was truly the last straw for me because..... enjoying a game is tribalism!?!? let people be happy and enjoy things... it's sports. O.O it gave me such second-hand embarrassment.. also this has absolutely nothing to do with the plot or theme of the book *sigh*
“Len passes me the ball, and, to my surprise, i catch it” - why is catching a ball from across a room at low speed surprising
“i pick up the basketball from the floor and throw it at the hoop, achieving an impressive airball” - so she hates sports and has never played in her life but she’s obviously... a natural?
“Then she brandishes a tube of lipstick. “What is that?” I jerk backward. Serena turns to Winona, confused. “Eliza doens’t do lipstick,” Winona explains.” —— why? why is she so repulsed by a bit of lipstick? it’s never explained and it appears as it makes Eliza special or dare i say superior to everyone else who wears lipsticks. even when later she realizes it’s okay to be smart AND care about your looks, it’s always this middle ground like she can’t quite commit to being “girly” so she just continues wearing //different// sweaters instead of just the same one.
“Other girls, including Kim, fuss over their hair all the time. But I don’t, and now I feel self-conscious about trying. When you look a certain way every day, and people are used to seeing you that way, it feels like drawing too much attention to yourself to change it. The wrong kind of attention. Because a serious, self-respecting girl should want to be noticed for her mind, not her appearance. Right?” — YOU CAN HAVE BOTH!!! YOU CAN WEAR LIPSTICK AND BE SMART!!! why is a bit of color on your lips “bad attention”? i am once again going to assume for my own sanity that this is all satire
““Wait.... is this ginger ale?” Len snickers. “What’d you expect?” “I don’t know. Something bro-ish. Beer?” — PLEASE tell me this is satire cuz i can’t believe Eliza is stereotyping what men drink in a book about stereotypes against women.
“Hunter Pak is the president of Key Club. He’s not quite cool enough to be in student council, but he’s too handsome to be a nerd.” — excuse me??? TOO HANDSOME TO BE A NERD???!?!? PLEASE tell me this is satire once again even though there’s again no clarification i’m begging
“Serena collapses in a fit of giggles, and I can’t help breaking into a goofy smile.” NOT GOOFY
“I fill my chest up with a fortifying breath and hoist my sword again, preparing to continue with my oration.” —- i —... this is in her march in the school. it just leaves a very bad taste in my mouth because it feels like it comes off ridiculing the millions of difficulties that feminists actually had to go through throughout history, like the right to vote, the right to have money under your name. this is just about her fighting for a guy to resign, and it’s just weird to me... ?? how she's explaining it as holding a sword, i can’t explain it
there are so many passages regarding her choice of wardrobe that i can’t make myself look up because i didn't save any of them but do i have to say this once in this review because it's mentioned SO MUCH: oversized sweaters are such a COMMON thing!!! every other girl in the world wears oversized sweaters!!!
she makes it her personality trait because she doesn’t like to care about her looks? but if you look around in the high school population so many kids wear oversized sweaters... i just don’t understand.
at first, i thought Eliza was being insufferable because she was going to have great character development but instead it made the message of the book lose itself completely — at least, what i hope the message of equality was.
it made the main character trash talk for the majority of the book, have realizations that are the BARE minimum and so few that when the book ended she is miles away from realizing how much she actually hurt and wronged the people around her.
however she’s supposed to be unlikeable because she’s a “rule-follower”. it leads me to believe the author wanted us to see that people didn’t vote for Eliza because she’s “bossy” and others don’t like when girls are bossy. but those are her most likable traits.. it’s okay to be assertive and have moral grounds, and i liked seeing her conduct an interview for her newspaper and have moral grounds. a LOT of other characters admired this too, including Len! the supposed “face of the patriarchy”. what we don’t like is her being condescending, rude, and mean to Len, team members, her mom, her sister Kim.
i’m not sure if there’s supposed to be commentary in everyone being walking stereotypes but i don’t see character growth from anybody. i already explained my thoughts on Eliza being so self-involved she didn’t realized Len was a better fit for the position in many others' opinions, and we NEVER SEE HER REALIZE THISSSSS. the ending made me facepalm to the wall.
this is such a mess to me and i feel like the author basically forgot to make her levelheaded and just left us with this main character that is so contradictory that ruins the book, even though she was given so many opportunities!!! i feel like her mother’s story would’ve been the most PERFECT opportunity to make her see clearly things. but that was a kind of side-commentary that didn't change any of Eliza's behavior.
anyways... i’ve ranted about this enough.
if anyone has read this and loved it, i would love to hear your thoughts cuz it just made me sad haha :/