What do you think?
Rate this book
Gray Love: Stories About Dating and New Relationships After 60
Gray Love narrates stories about the most common themes - searching for and (perhaps) finding love. Forty-five men and women between ages 60 and 94 from diverse backgrounds talk about dating, starting or ending a relationship, embracing life alone or enjoying a partnered one. The longing for connection as old age encroaches is palpable here, with more and more senior singles searching online. Those who find new partners explore issues that most relationships encounter at any age, as well as some that are unique to elder relationships. These include having had previous partners and a complicated and deep personal history; family and friends' reactions to an older person's dating; alternative models to marriage (such as sharing space or living apart); having more than one partner at the same time; one's aging body, appearance, and sexuality; and the pressure of time and the specter of illness and death.
- GenresNonfiction
316 pages, Hardcover
Published January 13, 2023
13 people are currently reading
50 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
January 19, 2023
"Gray Love: Stories About Dating and New Relationships After 60," a just-released anthology co-edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin and her romantic partner, Daniel E. Hood, is one of numerous books on people finding love in their later years. No surprise, because we Boomers are all in our 60s and older, the age group that’s seeing the highest divorce rate, the so-called gray divorce, and so there are a lot of 60-plus singles out there. And, yes, many of us want to find love again.
Of course, this is also the age that we women are told we can’t find love again —why date a woman in her 60s when a man her age can probably find a younger version of her (granted, not all older singles are heterosexual)? And yet books like "Gray Love" prove that it’s never too late to find love.
But love later in life often looks different, as the books essays illustrate. Not that love itself is different, it’s just that being older and having a lifetime of experience allows you to write your own romantic script of how you want it to look.
True, some writers found love and followed a familiar path — marriage, moving in together, or both. But some forged other routes, including ethical non-monogamy and living apart together relationships.
What "Gray Love’s" essays show is that our need for love, desire, intimacy, sex, companionship, and connection doesn’t go away just because we’re aging. In fact, they can take on new forms as our expectations of what a romantic relationship “looks like” change.
Full disclosure: I received an ARC.
Of course, this is also the age that we women are told we can’t find love again —why date a woman in her 60s when a man her age can probably find a younger version of her (granted, not all older singles are heterosexual)? And yet books like "Gray Love" prove that it’s never too late to find love.
But love later in life often looks different, as the books essays illustrate. Not that love itself is different, it’s just that being older and having a lifetime of experience allows you to write your own romantic script of how you want it to look.
True, some writers found love and followed a familiar path — marriage, moving in together, or both. But some forged other routes, including ethical non-monogamy and living apart together relationships.
What "Gray Love’s" essays show is that our need for love, desire, intimacy, sex, companionship, and connection doesn’t go away just because we’re aging. In fact, they can take on new forms as our expectations of what a romantic relationship “looks like” change.
Full disclosure: I received an ARC.
May 26, 2023
My 70 year old brother was widowed three years ago. He recently started thinking about dating again and was asking around for people's experiences with online dating. He was especially interested in the over 65 year old perspective on dating apps. I happened to spy this book on the new arrivals shelf at my local library so picked it up to read with him in mind. My brother may have been my initial motivation but I ended up savoring the essays in this collection. Vulnerability, compassion, confusion - so much of what it means to be alive as a human being - they all jump off every page of this book. As the essayist Roger Angell said elsewhere, “Getting old is the second-biggest surprise of my life, but the first, by a mile, is our unceasing need for deep attachment and intimate love. We oldies yearn daily and hourly for conversation and a renewed domesticity, for company at the movies or while visiting a museum, for someone close by in the car when coming home at night." This book makes that notion perfectly clear.
The introduction includes some interesting statistics about being over 65 in the US. It sets the stage for the stories ahead. Those stories are a blend of experiences. The reader is allowed a close up look at the grief, surprise, fears, loneliness, disappointments, and joys for this armful of elders who want to find some kind of romantic connection. I admire their courage and their ability and willingness to share the wisdom they have acquired from their own searches for that connection. The book highlighted new ways of thinking for me. I appreciated the various views represented and I learned from the truths that these people had discovered. I recommend this book no matter what age you are or what relationship status you claim. Our shared humanity is on display here. How wonderful to have the opportunity to dive right in.
The introduction includes some interesting statistics about being over 65 in the US. It sets the stage for the stories ahead. Those stories are a blend of experiences. The reader is allowed a close up look at the grief, surprise, fears, loneliness, disappointments, and joys for this armful of elders who want to find some kind of romantic connection. I admire their courage and their ability and willingness to share the wisdom they have acquired from their own searches for that connection. The book highlighted new ways of thinking for me. I appreciated the various views represented and I learned from the truths that these people had discovered. I recommend this book no matter what age you are or what relationship status you claim. Our shared humanity is on display here. How wonderful to have the opportunity to dive right in.
December 15, 2025
Gray Love: Stories About Dating and New Relationships After 60 edited by Nan Bauer-Maglin and Daniel E. Hood (both professors) as reviewed by Gail M. Murray
This is a collection of essays about dating after age 60 with many being divorced or widowed seeking love and companionship. The writers are well educated; many are published writers or university professors. Quite a few are New Yorker’s and Jewish. Some of their stories are a bit depressing, especially about online dating.No sugar coating. The best ones are at the end of the book and offer some hope. Not surprising it’s people re-connecting with people they knew at one time; some as friends and the relationship grew into love. Noted anthropologist, Helen Fisher comments: “We just keep longing for romance and companionship- even in our nineties. Love’s a drive – like thirst or hunger and this book shows the yearning …..with touching delicacy and exquisite sophistication.”
July 15, 2023
Great to read the stories but the reports are what I was expecting. A woman over 50 has a greater chance of getting hit by a bus than any success finding love (especially via online dating). The success stories in this book are mainly from reconnecting with old flames from younger years. Is it because there are fewer men to choose from, the older men who only want women 20 yrs younger, or just plain throwing in the towel and saying forget it. We value friendships in our later years
February 26, 2025
Excellent read. I’m shocked that any “senior gray daters” had positive experiences. And I am elated for the lucky ones who had wonderful experiences as gray daters. I had my year-long experiment with online dating without landing one single date. All were scammers with false profiles who requested cash for “temporary loans.” I’m a bit jealous; I had not one positive experience. I’ve signed off on online dating.
February 13, 2023
Thank you, Net Galley, for the opportunity to read this book in digital format. .
Maybe not the first time reading this theme, but it felt like it.
It was raw and genuine at moments and slightly cliché-ish at some but overall great.
Maybe not the first time reading this theme, but it felt like it.
It was raw and genuine at moments and slightly cliché-ish at some but overall great.
June 6, 2023
A detailed discussion of the many perils and largely lackluster results of online dating, with a second section of successful connections, usually through face-to-face interaction. Dater beware!
July 18, 2023
Fabulous book. It is a collection of stories from real people over 60. Very well written.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews