Holding Tight, Letting Go: My Life, Death and All the Madness In Between

by Sarah Hughes

'Too often we minimise the reality of terminal cancer, concentrating instead on survival records and talking only in positive pink ribbon terms. But what of those who live daily with the shadow of the disease? This is a book about how that feels. It is about how to die as much as about to how to live; yet it is also life-affirming, funny and shot through with hope.'

Life is full of small details that we tuck away somewhere to revisit when we need them most: the calming sound of the sea, that childlike joy when you feel the sun hit your face on an early February morning. These small details knitted together, make up our perfect, ordinary lives. Few understood the importance of these more than Sarah Hughes, who lived with terminal metastatic cancer for over three years and who died in April 2021.

This book is a celebration of everything that can make up a life, and how to hold it all close: how to cherish the perspective-changing, exhale-bringing perspective of a trashy novel; how to find the upside of chemo (finally being able to fit into flippy french tea dresses); how to explore the intimate topography of a body that's yours and yours alone.

For fans of Matt Haig and Maggie O'Farrell, this is a tender word-of-mouth bestseller: the sort of book you'll press into the hands of your friends, family and a stranger in a bookshop.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

256 pages, Hardcover

Published March 31, 2022

Reviews

[Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't know this journalist, had never read any of her work, but the concept of this book appealed to me. It turns out to be less a novel and more a collection of previously published articles, put into thematic order. One aspect of it is that Hughes died before competion, so every other chapter is by a friend who fleshes out further aspects of her life story. And it's entertaining, the interspersed chapters less so, but in her own articles Sarah's voice coming through strong and characterful. Very brief, but with something profound at times.

[Rebecc · Rating 5 out of 5]

Journalists must spend a greater part of their career wondering if anyone looks out for their writing on their papers; Sarah Hughes was one of those brilliant writers I sought out when I realised the same writer kept wowing me with her verve & style at the Observer. This book is a celebration of her life as cruelly she was struck down with cancer & in this book are her musings on the important things in life & then her friends & husband join in to illuminate her life, family, career. It's uplifting because she was so clearly loved & respected by all who met her, I like to think we would have bonded over books & food & I wish she was still with us. I would recommend this book to all those who have ever lost anyone because she makes the point that life for survivors continues & must be lived to the full.

[DublinAficionado · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a bit biased since I knew Sarah very well and she was every bit as wonderful as her writing suggests. The book captures her very well through all her stages and she was always so full of laughter and noise. I can only tell you that having drinks with her and discussing books, current affairs, music and tv was immensely entertaining and she was never, ever stuck for something to say. She really loved West Side Story so when it played on Broadway around 2010, I got us cheapo tickets at the very back, so high up that our heads were banging off the ceiling (show was always sold out) and it was as much fun watching her mouthing all the words as looking all the way down to the stage. Hopefully, the New York chapter in the book catches some of her magnificence. I don't doubt you might enjoy this book. She offers up many lessons to us all.

[Glynn Hayball · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book to hold tight to

A superbly written novel that will have you crying and laughing in turn and determined to live life. This fresh view on living with stage 4 cancer is in part charming for its frankness, life affirming for its advice and nurturing for its understanding of what makes life so worthwhile, despite our mortality.

[Amrita Bindukalpa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a short quick read. I have read books by people with terminal illnesses ‘mums list ‘ and ‘ when breath becomes air ‘ stand out. I had loved ‘Mum’s list’. It was very educational for me. This book was like diary entries of the author and eulogies by people who knew her. It was full of insights into her life more than life lessons for others. So overall an ok book to fill in a gap.

[Ellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a lovely tribute to the author - I didn’t feel quite sure why I was reading it, though. I went in expecting more of a focus on the experience of living with a terminal illness, but this felt more like a tribute to what an awesome person Sarah Hughes was (I had never heard of her). I guess this was really my own fault in picking it.

[Eliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read as audiobook

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Journalist Sarah Hughes died from cancer in 2021. This book is a collection of her essays, some new work, and reflections from some of her closest friends. The result is cohesive - it creates a clear and consistent picture of Sarah and the reader is left in no doubt about how much she was loved and is missed by friends and family.

Hughes experienced an enormous amount of grief in her life (aside from her own illness, she had two still births). She is frank about her experience, but manages to put this alongside the things that made her happy. It's remarkable what a person can endure.

3.5/5