English name: Governor's Illness
Reading this was seriously a roller coaster of emotions. The author has a way of writing that can really punch you in the gut with all the feels. And those cliffhangers! I'm so glad I read this after it was fully translated, since the author seems to be fond of leaving her readers hanging constantly. The writing was beautiful and very descriptive at times, and the translator did a great job of capturing this in her translation.
The story first starts when our main characters are 12 years old. Xiahou Lian, who grew up as part of a group of assassins called the Garan, is brought into the Xie mansion as a temporary child servant while his mother goes on a long journey to assassinate someone. He gets assigned to serve the unfavored young master Xie Jinglan, and in a short couple months, they form a deep bond that continues when they meet again briefly by chance two years later. Even though the time they spend together in their childhood isn't long, they experience some intense events together and become best buddies that wholeheartedly trust each either. Unfortunately, when they finally meet again after many years apart, that trust has faded and they each need some time to start opening up to each other again.
The story is split into two volumes. The first volumes focuses on their childhood and covers some of their separate adult lives. It was good, but my favorite part of the story comes after they reunite after many years apart. Once they resolve all the misunderstandings and start working together to investigate what's really going on with Garan, things get more interesting. There are so many touching moments that tug at your heartstrings, both for the main characters as well as the side characters.
Speaking of which, I loved the whole cast of characters here, which is rare for me. Even the side characters are all fully fleshed out and experience growth, and I found myself getting saddened whenever something bad happened to one of them.
The romance is done really well. The two main characters have experienced so much, and even when they were apart, XJL never stopped thinking about and searching for XHL. It was so touching how he remained so dedicated to XHL after all those years. And when they do reunite, there were some really sweet words that they each think or say about each other. They had me cracking up as well given the dynamics of their relationship and who was the wife XP
I really enjoyed this story, but I'm deducting a star because I wasn't super engrossed in the plot itself. I think I just didn't find the whole backstory of the internal politics in Garan that interesting. I found myself struggling to not get distracted and keep reading. Also, while the writing was beautiful, it wasn't written clearly at times, and there were many instances where I reread a passage a couple times and still wasn't sure what was going on. In those cases, I would have to keep reading on to figure out what happened or who got injured.
Anyways, here are some of my thoughts on miscellaneous things that happen:
Warning: **SPOILERS AHEAD**
I mentioned above that I found the plot itself just okay. To elaborate more on that, I initially was intrigued by the fact that Xiahou Lian's mom was betrayed by his dad, who did it to make XHL stronger. However, once the whole truth came out about the two factions in Garan, I personally didn't find it that interesting and lost interest in the story. It felt a bit random, especially since XHL was supposed to have ended Garan after the first book when he killed his own father, and then we find out that Garan is still thriving under Duan Jiu's leadership with the help of the Bliss Fruit in the second book.
Thank god the misunderstanding between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan was cleared up relatively quickly when they met again. It was absolutely killing me that Xiahou Lian thought XJL wanted to kill him and wouldn't tell XJL his true identity, and XJL didn't recognize him because he had completely changed his facial and bone structure. Also I was glad the second misunderstanding about who Missy was resolved quickly too. I was afraid the author would drag it out and torture us readers more, but luckily it was cleared up within a chapter and it even lead to a lot of sweetness with their mutual confession of feelings.
How ironic that the eunuch Shen Jue that was hated by the righteous faction and his old teacher Dai Shengyan is Teacher Dai's personal disciple and a member of a family that once belonged to the righteous faction. Plus all this came out as his teacher came forward to put his crimes as Shen Jue on trial.
Speaking of Dai Shengyan, he's another side character that I liked and respected. Kudos to him for choosing to die with dignity rather than letting himself be used as a hostage to force XJL to work with Garan and do dirty deeds.
I was legit super sad when Situ Jin died. He was a good man and deserved to live happily with his family rather than be killed by Garan.
Chi Yan was such a cute character. He knows the ways of the world but still remains so pure in a way. I felt bad that he was forced by the Garan to be Garuda and work for them, even though all he wants is to search for his younger brother. He has an interesting dynamic with Baili Yama as well.... he wants to kill her but is also nice to her, and in the end takes her ashes with him in his travels.
Even the minor characters like Xia Zhu were fleshed out a bit. It must've been really hard for her to be torn between her loyalty and her love, only to find out in the end that she was played by everyone around her. Still, she did provide for some amusing comedic relief, when XHL kept inserting himself between her and Shen Jue when she tried to play mistress of the manor.
Some of my favorite scenes:
When they finally recognize each other
Xiahou Lian asked softly, "Young Master, you said before that you wanted me to be your gatekeeper and guard your home for you. Does the offer still hold?"
Does it still hold?
The wind started again, and Shen Jue turned his head to look at him. Lights and shadows fell into his eyes, like crushed sunlight, black mixed with gold. The youth's spirit and the assassin's fierceness melted into an indescribable unrestraint, but that heavy smile was the same as before, no more and no less.
For years, thousands upon thousands of yearnings had been in deep sleep in Shen Jue's heart, like gloomy chrysalises. At this moment, they finally broke their cocoons and became butterflies, their gorgeous and colorful wings interweaving together, as brilliant as iridescent clouds.
He smiled, tears soaking the rims of his eyes.
"It holds."
It has always held.
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D'awwww Xiahou Lian is the only one that can make Shen Jue feel emotions again
There was sadness and also sweetness in his heart, the sweetness among a stomachful of bitterness, contradictory yet also addictive. He had operated carefully, step by step, for ten years, and his heart had already been beat in the deep palace to be impenetrable by water or fire, as hard as iron. But this heart suddenly became extremely soft, like a ball of cotton, a sea of clouds, able to be grabbed with his hand and placed into Xiahou Lian's scorching palm.
"Young Master, you're so stupid," said Xiahou Lian.
"You're the stupid one." Shen Jue's voice was a little choked. He didn't dare to say more, afraid that Xiahou Lian would hear it.
"You keep pushing me away." Xiahou Lian gripped his shoulders forcibly. "Don't do this anymore."
I won't. Shen Jue thought silently, I'll grab onto him and never let go.
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Just another touching scene between them
He suddenly felt that time had reversed. He wasn't the governor of the Eastern Depot and Xiahou Lian wasn't some Garan assassin. They were still two helpless youths from many years ago, tightly embracing in the dark. The mountain breeze blew the flames, and firelight leapt and wandered on their bodies. Ruins and devastation spread and stretched underneath their feet. They were like two tiny shadows in the barren world, two lone shadows together and forming a pair, sticking together in life and death from now on.
"It's okay. It's okay, A-Lian, you have found me, and I have found you."
He patted Xiahou Lian's back gently and slowly spoke this sentence. It was like a consolation, and it was like a promise.
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Chi Yan being hilarious with his clueless questions
"Chi Yan, what's the matter with you?" Xiahou Lian reached out and shook his hand in front of Chi Yan's eyes. He thought this way and that, but he didn't know how he had provoked Chi yan.
"You lied to me," Chi Yan said in a low voice.
Xiahou Lian was stunned. "Huh?"
Chi Yan lowered his eyes, his long eyelashes covering his clear and quiet eyes, an obvious desolation on his face. "Before, you said that you can only marry a woman for a wife, and that they have to be younger than you. They also have to be virtuous and can keep the house, cook, and do needlework. The little young master does not fit a single one, but you took him as your wife."
Xiahou Lian was speechless. He wanted to explain, but he was clumsy with speech, and only after a long time did he stammer, "At the time, I originally liked women..." He caught a glimpse of Shen Jue's gaze that was becoming colder and colder, and bit his own tongue, forcibly swallowing all of his words back.
Fuck, always saying what shouldn't be said. This was just great, the two of them were offended together now
Shen Jue put down his chopsticks and took the napkin Shen Wenxing was holding to wipe his mouth. "A-Lian taught you correctly, though what he taught you was the principle of common customs. The harmony of yin and yang conforms with human relations, so according to convention,a man should indeed marry a woman, and a woman wed a man. However, human relationships must not be restricted, and cannot be forbidden by sages. As long as they like each other, how is being male or female a hindrance? If you meet someone you like one day, whether it's a man or a woman, you should do what you want." He turned the ring on his hand and smiled. "There's one more thing you misunderstood, your little brother didn't take me as his wife. Since he lives in Shen Manor and took my surname, he is naturally married to me."
Xiahou Lian wanted to retort, but Shen Jue swept a chilly gaze over, and Xiahou Lian closed his mouth.
Chi Yan was stunned. He looked at Shen Jue with wide eyes, and Shen Jue also looked silently at him. Then, he turned his head to look at Xiahou Lian, repeating in a low voice, "Do what I want?"
"Naturally," said Shen Jue.
Chi Yan asked, "Then can I marry the two of you?"
The entire hall was silent. Xiahou Lian's movements were slow as he held his forehead.