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督主有病 [Du Zhu You Bing]
他是别人的地狱，却是我的极乐。
世人没有想到，尸山里的阎王，浪子里的班头夏侯潋居然沦落成东厂最低级的小番子，每月薪俸二两银子，连房租都交不起。
身为江湖乱党，东厂头号通缉要犯的夏侯潋更没有想到，小时候遇见的身娇体弱的小少爷居然成了炙手可热，翻手为云，覆手为雨的东厂督主。
而那位督主，他的心里有一束白月光，垂涎已久，却求而不得。
我为你化身成鬼，你为我立地成佛。
"Governer's Illness"
The world did not expect that the king of Shi Mountain and leader of good-for-nothings, Xia HouLian, would be reduced to the lowest rank in Dongchang. He had a monthly salary of two taels, which wasn’t even enough for rent.
As a rebel in the martial arts world and Dongchang’s most wanted criminal, Xia HouLian did not expect that the delicate young master he had met in his childhood would actually become the powerful and arrogant governor of Dongcheng.
As for that governor, there was a beam of white moonlight in his heart, a memory of someone that he had coveted for a long time yet was out of reach.
I’ll become a ghost for you, and you’ll become a Buddha for me.
世人没有想到，尸山里的阎王，浪子里的班头夏侯潋居然沦落成东厂最低级的小番子，每月薪俸二两银子，连房租都交不起。
身为江湖乱党，东厂头号通缉要犯的夏侯潋更没有想到，小时候遇见的身娇体弱的小少爷居然成了炙手可热，翻手为云，覆手为雨的东厂督主。
而那位督主，他的心里有一束白月光，垂涎已久，却求而不得。
我为你化身成鬼，你为我立地成佛。
"Governer's Illness"
The world did not expect that the king of Shi Mountain and leader of good-for-nothings, Xia HouLian, would be reduced to the lowest rank in Dongchang. He had a monthly salary of two taels, which wasn’t even enough for rent.
As a rebel in the martial arts world and Dongchang’s most wanted criminal, Xia HouLian did not expect that the delicate young master he had met in his childhood would actually become the powerful and arrogant governor of Dongcheng.
As for that governor, there was a beam of white moonlight in his heart, a memory of someone that he had coveted for a long time yet was out of reach.
I’ll become a ghost for you, and you’ll become a Buddha for me.
1370 pages, Webnovel
Published October 14, 2019
35 people are currently reading
372 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
July 14, 2023
"This world is full of misfortune, and not everything can be as you wish."
Such a beautiful story! I couldn’t stop reading and spent sleepless nights to do so. I love the plot, the story development and the plot twists. The character development for both ML and MC was lit. Their interaction was hilarious as well. Watching them grow up, suffer and use pain and love as strength to persist was admirable.
A lot of things caught me by surprise! The mystery behind the truth was shocking as well. To be honest, none of my guesses were on point. The novel challenged me yet I failed. I thought it would be the typical cliché story where the ML and MC becomes OP as adults but no, it wasn’t like that at all. That made this novel stood out more.
The author wrote the novel like a movie. During the fighting scenes, I could even imagine how it would have looked like for the scenes clearly, with background music to match! So beautifully written! It was so detailed, including the settings of the scenes. The story would bring you on a rollercoaster of emotions, pulling your heart down as if a boulder was pressing on your heart, lift you up dissipating your heavy heart with a comedic line, and then the boulder would be dropped back to you. The angst 😮💨
If I didn’t know the ending would be an HE, I would have thought the ending would be a BE just based on how it was written and the tone used. A lot of parts were written as if it would be the ending and it would have been perfect even if it was. I was worried it would be a drag after but the author did not disappoint!
Historically, there were actually good and loyal eunuchs but a lot of novels are making it sound like all eunuchs were all evil and cunning. I’m guessing the author wrote Wei De’s character based on Wei Zhongxian who was known as the most notorious eunuch in Chinese history.
A must-read! ♥️
Such a beautiful story! I couldn’t stop reading and spent sleepless nights to do so. I love the plot, the story development and the plot twists. The character development for both ML and MC was lit. Their interaction was hilarious as well. Watching them grow up, suffer and use pain and love as strength to persist was admirable.
A lot of things caught me by surprise! The mystery behind the truth was shocking as well. To be honest, none of my guesses were on point. The novel challenged me yet I failed. I thought it would be the typical cliché story where the ML and MC becomes OP as adults but no, it wasn’t like that at all. That made this novel stood out more.
The author wrote the novel like a movie. During the fighting scenes, I could even imagine how it would have looked like for the scenes clearly, with background music to match! So beautifully written! It was so detailed, including the settings of the scenes. The story would bring you on a rollercoaster of emotions, pulling your heart down as if a boulder was pressing on your heart, lift you up dissipating your heavy heart with a comedic line, and then the boulder would be dropped back to you. The angst 😮💨
If I didn’t know the ending would be an HE, I would have thought the ending would be a BE just based on how it was written and the tone used. A lot of parts were written as if it would be the ending and it would have been perfect even if it was. I was worried it would be a drag after but the author did not disappoint!
Historically, there were actually good and loyal eunuchs but a lot of novels are making it sound like all eunuchs were all evil and cunning. I’m guessing the author wrote Wei De’s character based on Wei Zhongxian who was known as the most notorious eunuch in Chinese history.
A must-read! ♥️
February 13, 2025
I've finally finished the 134 chapters + 4 extras!
I'm going to try and keep this review as vague as possible.
Pros:
- Clever, intricate plot. Not a single character is 'wasted' and they all have a part to play.
-Lots of action and political intrigue
-High stakes - you never know which ones are going to make it in the end
- Majority of the characters are morally grey who you'll root for
-Slow burn romance
-Childhood friends to lovers trope
- Third person
-Dual POV- each chapter alternatives between following Xie Jinglan/Shen Jue (the governor) and Xiahou Lian (the assassin)
-Interesting family dynamics- especially between Xiahou Lian and his assassin mother
-Happy ending which wraps everything up nicely
Cons:
- LOTS of TW: Child slavery, child abuse, 3X female characters get raped, drug addiction, lots of gore and murder as you'd come to expect from following assassins.
Thankfully, none of this is in really graphic detail.
-The female characters aren't the best which is kinda typical of the danmei genre
- What few sex scenes there were I felt the consent was a bit dubious at times
Would I recommend it to others? Yes, definitely worth your time for the plot alone. The romance only really comes to play in the 2nd volume because in the 1st half they are still children/ teenagers trying hard to survive the rough hand they've been dealt.
I'm going to try and keep this review as vague as possible.
Pros:
- Clever, intricate plot. Not a single character is 'wasted' and they all have a part to play.
-Lots of action and political intrigue
-High stakes - you never know which ones are going to make it in the end
- Majority of the characters are morally grey who you'll root for
-Slow burn romance
-Childhood friends to lovers trope
- Third person
-Dual POV- each chapter alternatives between following Xie Jinglan/Shen Jue (the governor) and Xiahou Lian (the assassin)
-Interesting family dynamics- especially between Xiahou Lian and his assassin mother
-Happy ending which wraps everything up nicely
Cons:
- LOTS of TW: Child slavery, child abuse, 3X female characters get raped, drug addiction, lots of gore and murder as you'd come to expect from following assassins.
Thankfully, none of this is in really graphic detail.
-The female characters aren't the best which is kinda typical of the danmei genre
- What few sex scenes there were I felt the consent was a bit dubious at times
Would I recommend it to others? Yes, definitely worth your time for the plot alone. The romance only really comes to play in the 2nd volume because in the 1st half they are still children/ teenagers trying hard to survive the rough hand they've been dealt.
December 19, 2024
This novel is criminally underrated.
I believe that if more people read it, it could be just as loved as works like 2ha and Qiang Jin Jiu. For fans of historical setting with plot-heavy angsty stories, this is such a gem.
This kind of story is kind of hit or miss for me, as I often find myself tired of the endless machinations or I feel like the angst is low-key bordering on being torture porn. This is not the case here. Even when the suffering is heart-wrenching and the characters seem to be on an endless losing streak, I still hold on to hope in my heart and vibrate with happiness at every little victory.
This novel is chockfull of amazing characters and the plot is back-to-back engaging. There's never a dull moment here.
Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan's relationship is developed soooo beautifully. Their connection is truly special. I loved that they're not invencible and we see they fail and stumble. Specially my boy-failure Xiahou Lian, he's was put through the wringer here lol Every bad thing that could happen to someone has happened to him.
Although this novel is not without its faults, I cannot recommend this enough. It might not be perfect, but what is well executed is done superbly.
I believe that if more people read it, it could be just as loved as works like 2ha and Qiang Jin Jiu. For fans of historical setting with plot-heavy angsty stories, this is such a gem.
This kind of story is kind of hit or miss for me, as I often find myself tired of the endless machinations or I feel like the angst is low-key bordering on being torture porn. This is not the case here. Even when the suffering is heart-wrenching and the characters seem to be on an endless losing streak, I still hold on to hope in my heart and vibrate with happiness at every little victory.
This novel is chockfull of amazing characters and the plot is back-to-back engaging. There's never a dull moment here.
Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan's relationship is developed soooo beautifully. Their connection is truly special. I loved that they're not invencible and we see they fail and stumble. Specially my boy-failure Xiahou Lian, he's was put through the wringer here lol Every bad thing that could happen to someone has happened to him.
Although this novel is not without its faults, I cannot recommend this enough. It might not be perfect, but what is well executed is done superbly.
January 6, 2026
What a wonderful novel! It definitely has a darker tone compared to some other danmei I’ve read. Many times I’ve wondered to myself if a happy ending is achievable due to all the conflicts that take place.
I love the dynamic between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan/Shen Jue as well as their individual character development and relationship development. Their love story is a slowburn so keep that in mind. A lot must happen plot wise before we get into much sweet romance. These two frequently argue over who’s the wife in the relationship. It’s quite funny how both are adamant that the other is the wife.
The side characters are enjoyable. Sometimes I grow bored of reading chapters that follow the side characters because I’m always more attached to the main characters, but that wasn’t the case with this novel.
Overall a shit ton goes down in this novel. Once one problem is solved, another arrives at our doorstep. It’s hard to grow bored of all of the excitement (for us the readers, definitely not the characters) that’s happening each and every chapter.
I love the dynamic between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan/Shen Jue as well as their individual character development and relationship development. Their love story is a slowburn so keep that in mind. A lot must happen plot wise before we get into much sweet romance. These two frequently argue over who’s the wife in the relationship. It’s quite funny how both are adamant that the other is the wife.
The side characters are enjoyable. Sometimes I grow bored of reading chapters that follow the side characters because I’m always more attached to the main characters, but that wasn’t the case with this novel.
Overall a shit ton goes down in this novel. Once one problem is solved, another arrives at our doorstep. It’s hard to grow bored of all of the excitement (for us the readers, definitely not the characters) that’s happening each and every chapter.
December 20, 2024
“To me, the biggest punishment is not death, nor is it having my bones crushed and ashes scattered. It is you dying, and me living.”
I’ve never read a love like this… this was soooo painful but the love between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglang was amazing, I don’t even have the words to explain it but I’ve never seen two people love each other as ardently and ferociously as they did in any other type of media I swear. I think this novel just opened my third eye lol. But please please give this a chance, you have no idea how wonderful this was to read. I think Xiahou Lian just became one of my favourite characters ever, he’s so beautiful and kind and sensitive and everything about him is just marvellous.
“He is other people’s hell, but he is my bliss.”
I’ve never read a love like this… this was soooo painful but the love between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglang was amazing, I don’t even have the words to explain it but I’ve never seen two people love each other as ardently and ferociously as they did in any other type of media I swear. I think this novel just opened my third eye lol. But please please give this a chance, you have no idea how wonderful this was to read. I think Xiahou Lian just became one of my favourite characters ever, he’s so beautiful and kind and sensitive and everything about him is just marvellous.
“He is other people’s hell, but he is my bliss.”
April 19, 2023
"There was only them, eternally unchanging."
GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD. The pain, the slow burn, and all of their tribulations; the way it all unfolded and escalated was executed so good that the ending is so satisfying!
I loved (some with a bit of hate but not deep) every bit of every characters! They all have their own individualities, especially Xie Jinglan and Xiahou Lian! Also, special mention to Chi Yan, the bestest boy in the book. I genuinely hope that everyone who's still living is now in peace or has their own solace. I hope Chi Yan is always safe. And I hope that the characters' who died successfully entered the wheel of reincarnation to find their own solace in their next lives.
I was literally screaming, crying, and next giggling because of this book! Thank you very much!
GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD. The pain, the slow burn, and all of their tribulations; the way it all unfolded and escalated was executed so good that the ending is so satisfying!
I loved (some with a bit of hate but not deep) every bit of every characters! They all have their own individualities, especially Xie Jinglan and Xiahou Lian! Also, special mention to Chi Yan, the bestest boy in the book. I genuinely hope that everyone who's still living is now in peace or has their own solace. I hope Chi Yan is always safe. And I hope that the characters' who died successfully entered the wheel of reincarnation to find their own solace in their next lives.
I was literally screaming, crying, and next giggling because of this book! Thank you very much!
March 31, 2024
If given the chance to erase my memories and reread this novel, I would wholeheartedly do it. Spending almost a month immersed in its pages has left the details somewhat blurry, yet its impact to me remains vivid. This novel taught me so many things in life. It reminded me that human beings inherently seek companionship; we yearn for lasting connections that transcend time. Even the antagonists in this story are portrayed with such loneliness that it's impossible not to empathize with them. It's just that, people has their own way of obtaining something.
Throughout my reading journey, I felt deeply connected to the characters and their experiences. I experienced moments of joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. It was a great journey, one that sadly comes to an end, as all good things do.
Throughout my reading journey, I felt deeply connected to the characters and their experiences. I experienced moments of joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. It was a great journey, one that sadly comes to an end, as all good things do.
February 12, 2025
“To me, the biggest punishment is not death, nor is it having my bones crushed and ashes scattered. It is you dying, and me living.”
- Historical 📜⚔️
- Danmei 🏳️🌈
- Childhood friends -> lovers 💖
- Slow burn ❤️🔥
- Happy ending ☺️
On a whole, I really enjoyed Du Zhu You Bing, it was a real roller coaster of emotions. It’s got sad moments and funny moments, and the plot was full of twists and turns. Each chapter is a cliff-hanger and it’ll make you immediately want to read the next chapter then the next then the…you know what I mean.
This story starts out with our MC (Xiahou Lian)’s and ML (Shen Jue/Xie Jinglan)’s childhood and the story slowly progresses as they grow up. Thanks to this, it also feels as if you’ve been with them their entire life and saw them grow up so it’s very plot-heavy. The story is split into 2 volumes–the first one focuses on their childhood and the second one is more of their grown up lives. It’s very nice seeing how Xiahou Lian and Shen Jue/Xie Jinglan went from childhood friends to lovers, and how they were even enemies for some time in between which makes it even more interesting. Also, Chi Yan is literally the best character, he’s so innocent and dumb it’s hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 You’re gonna love him, trust me. Sorry, had to mention him ><
IN SPITE OF ALL THAT…I personally wasn’t really a fan of the smut and I feel like the consent in this is kinda dubious and it may even go into the non-con area so…if you’re not really a fan of that stuff like me then watch out!! The extras are all smut and to be honest, I just very quickly skimmed through those scenes since I didn’t really like it. For those who were expecting a green flag fluffy kinda novel…surprise! It’s actually pretty angsty and there aren't as many fluffy/cute interactions as I wished but…oh well it’s fine. Chi Yan makes up for it ;)
Finally, thanks so much to Exiled Rebel Scanlations for the translation!!
- Historical 📜⚔️
- Danmei 🏳️🌈
- Childhood friends -> lovers 💖
- Slow burn ❤️🔥
- Happy ending ☺️
On a whole, I really enjoyed Du Zhu You Bing, it was a real roller coaster of emotions. It’s got sad moments and funny moments, and the plot was full of twists and turns. Each chapter is a cliff-hanger and it’ll make you immediately want to read the next chapter then the next then the…you know what I mean.
This story starts out with our MC (Xiahou Lian)’s and ML (Shen Jue/Xie Jinglan)’s childhood and the story slowly progresses as they grow up. Thanks to this, it also feels as if you’ve been with them their entire life and saw them grow up so it’s very plot-heavy. The story is split into 2 volumes–the first one focuses on their childhood and the second one is more of their grown up lives. It’s very nice seeing how Xiahou Lian and Shen Jue/Xie Jinglan went from childhood friends to lovers, and how they were even enemies for some time in between which makes it even more interesting. Also, Chi Yan is literally the best character, he’s so innocent and dumb it’s hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 You’re gonna love him, trust me. Sorry, had to mention him ><
IN SPITE OF ALL THAT…I personally wasn’t really a fan of the smut and I feel like the consent in this is kinda dubious and it may even go into the non-con area so…if you’re not really a fan of that stuff like me then watch out!! The extras are all smut and to be honest, I just very quickly skimmed through those scenes since I didn’t really like it. For those who were expecting a green flag fluffy kinda novel…surprise! It’s actually pretty angsty and there aren't as many fluffy/cute interactions as I wished but…oh well it’s fine. Chi Yan makes up for it ;)
Finally, thanks so much to Exiled Rebel Scanlations for the translation!!
July 23, 2023
If you're looking for a light(er) danmei, this one isn't for you.
Let me tell you, this book was pain from start to finish. Both our leads had hard lives, it makes your heart ache. You involuntarily fall in love with many characters only for the author to rip out your heart in a second. It made me cry, it made me smile, it made me angry and it made me feel helpless.
I'm not going to hide this: I was cover-baited and came by this book by accident. I loved the cover although the summary was confusing. I ended up reading reviews and I just had to pick it up. I prioritized it although my TBR is endless at this point.
It doesn't usually take a lot of time to read a book, but I took my time with this one. It feels like the kind of story you have to savor and it also feels like you're living 50 lives.
Our MC (Xiahou Lian) and ML (Xie Jinglan/Shen Jue) are amazing together. They've been friends since childhood and later they became lovers. I loved the way they trusted each other unconditionally, although they could easily become enemies in those years they spent apart. Only after you reach 50% of the novel will you see them sticking together more because until then you can only follow their heartbreaking stories.
I could write so much more, but what I actually want to say is: Read this only if you want a serious story, a heavy story, a heartbreaking story but also an unbearably sweet story.
In the end, this made me realize I need to read some light novels to feel better.
5⭐/5
Let me tell you, this book was pain from start to finish. Both our leads had hard lives, it makes your heart ache. You involuntarily fall in love with many characters only for the author to rip out your heart in a second. It made me cry, it made me smile, it made me angry and it made me feel helpless.
I'm not going to hide this: I was cover-baited and came by this book by accident. I loved the cover although the summary was confusing. I ended up reading reviews and I just had to pick it up. I prioritized it although my TBR is endless at this point.
It doesn't usually take a lot of time to read a book, but I took my time with this one. It feels like the kind of story you have to savor and it also feels like you're living 50 lives.
Our MC (Xiahou Lian) and ML (Xie Jinglan/Shen Jue) are amazing together. They've been friends since childhood and later they became lovers. I loved the way they trusted each other unconditionally, although they could easily become enemies in those years they spent apart. Only after you reach 50% of the novel will you see them sticking together more because until then you can only follow their heartbreaking stories.
I could write so much more, but what I actually want to say is: Read this only if you want a serious story, a heavy story, a heartbreaking story but also an unbearably sweet story.
In the end, this made me realize I need to read some light novels to feel better.
5⭐/5
May 5, 2023
Xie Jinglan es un joven refinado e hijo no amado de una familia importante. Lo mantienen apartado en un lugar de la mansión familiar con lo suficiente para sobrevivir, aprende a escondidas porque no puede tomar los libros de la biblioteca y solo desea ser alguien importante para demostrar sus habilidades. Xiahou Lian es un mocoso travieso que es vendido como sirviente para la mansión Xie, destinado a servir al joven maestro Xie Jinglan. Ambos son tan diferentes pero entre ellos surge una amistad y preocupación mutua que desatará un destino imparable.
Cuando la verdadera identidad de Xiahou Lian es descubierta, luchará por darle a su joven maestro una oportunidad por sobrevivir. Xie Jinglan se ve forzado a recorrer un camino lejos de su amigo con la mirada puesta en la venganza y el poder.
Si vemos esta historia desde la mirada de los buenos e intachables, nos damos cuenta que estamos leyendo sobre los villanos. Asesinos o corruptos, aquí la lucha por vivir y cuidar a los seres amados los llevará a tomar decisiones cuestionables como si nada, pero teniendo en cuenta que alguna vez recibirán la retribuci��n por lo que han hecho.
Grandes maestros, asesinos, artistas marciales, intrigas dentro del palacio o en los rincones oscuros de las calles; todo para adentrarnos en un territorio lleno de sangre y muerte.
En el primer volumen, aparte de los capítulos en dónde los dos protagonistas se conocen y conviven, vemos el crecimiento de cada uno después de tener que elegir caminos distintos. Tienen ciertas metas, libran batallas en lugares diferentes, ya sea con la espada o la astucia, y es dentro de esa cotidianidad de años separados en donde se detienen un poco a pensar uno en el otro (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ.
En el segundo volumen los vemos lejos de donde estuvieron al inicio. Xie Jinglan ahora con un alto rango dentro del palacio y Xiahou Lian tratando de llevar una vida más pacífica, sin embargo, el pasado y las cosas sin concluir regresan para saldar cuentas y tendrán que enfrentar lo que puede venir.
Amé a Jinglan, buscó tener el poder suficiente para lograr su cometido y no olvidó que al mismo tiempo podía ser de ayuda para Lian; comprendía que no importaba si no lo volvía a ver o si sus sentimientos no eran retribuidos, simplemente saber que estaba bien era suficiente. Cuando se volvieron a encontrar y ambos llegaron al punto de compartir y esclarecer sus sentimientos, entendió que ahora vivir sin él sería un castigo. Es, además, un personaje sin pelos en la lengua, directo y sorprende a los demás al casi siempre estar un paso adelante de todos.
Xiahou Lian, aunque no es el más rápido o fuerte, demostró la voluntad y valentía necesarias para hacer tanto.
Tarde casi dos meses para llegar al capítulo 40, sentía que no avanzaba, pero con fe y alegría en menos de una semana ya estaba terminando con el capítulo 134 ♪┌|∵|┘♪. Tantas veces pensé que todo saldría mal y al final me dieron lo más bonito del mundo ♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱.
Llevaré está preciosa obra en mi corazón y siempre lo mejor para la autora ❤️.
Cuando la verdadera identidad de Xiahou Lian es descubierta, luchará por darle a su joven maestro una oportunidad por sobrevivir. Xie Jinglan se ve forzado a recorrer un camino lejos de su amigo con la mirada puesta en la venganza y el poder.
Si vemos esta historia desde la mirada de los buenos e intachables, nos damos cuenta que estamos leyendo sobre los villanos. Asesinos o corruptos, aquí la lucha por vivir y cuidar a los seres amados los llevará a tomar decisiones cuestionables como si nada, pero teniendo en cuenta que alguna vez recibirán la retribuci��n por lo que han hecho.
Grandes maestros, asesinos, artistas marciales, intrigas dentro del palacio o en los rincones oscuros de las calles; todo para adentrarnos en un territorio lleno de sangre y muerte.
En el primer volumen, aparte de los capítulos en dónde los dos protagonistas se conocen y conviven, vemos el crecimiento de cada uno después de tener que elegir caminos distintos. Tienen ciertas metas, libran batallas en lugares diferentes, ya sea con la espada o la astucia, y es dentro de esa cotidianidad de años separados en donde se detienen un poco a pensar uno en el otro (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ.
En el segundo volumen los vemos lejos de donde estuvieron al inicio. Xie Jinglan ahora con un alto rango dentro del palacio y Xiahou Lian tratando de llevar una vida más pacífica, sin embargo, el pasado y las cosas sin concluir regresan para saldar cuentas y tendrán que enfrentar lo que puede venir.
Amé a Jinglan, buscó tener el poder suficiente para lograr su cometido y no olvidó que al mismo tiempo podía ser de ayuda para Lian; comprendía que no importaba si no lo volvía a ver o si sus sentimientos no eran retribuidos, simplemente saber que estaba bien era suficiente. Cuando se volvieron a encontrar y ambos llegaron al punto de compartir y esclarecer sus sentimientos, entendió que ahora vivir sin él sería un castigo. Es, además, un personaje sin pelos en la lengua, directo y sorprende a los demás al casi siempre estar un paso adelante de todos.
Xiahou Lian, aunque no es el más rápido o fuerte, demostró la voluntad y valentía necesarias para hacer tanto.
Tarde casi dos meses para llegar al capítulo 40, sentía que no avanzaba, pero con fe y alegría en menos de una semana ya estaba terminando con el capítulo 134 ♪┌|∵|┘♪. Tantas veces pensé que todo saldría mal y al final me dieron lo más bonito del mundo ♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱.
Llevaré está preciosa obra en mi corazón y siempre lo mejor para la autora ❤️.
October 24, 2025
"To me, the biggest punishment is not death, nor is it having my bones crushed and ashes scattered. It is you dying, and me living."
11 years!!! 11 years worth of worrying, yearning and misunderstandings and yet, they still came out happy in the end, despite all the hardships they had to get through to finally be with each other.
Since their childhood Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan really devoted everything to each other, they changed so much throughout their lifes and suffered so much on their own paths, but even that could not rip apart the bond they shared. They mean everything to each other and would sacrifice everything just for the other to be okay….
Xie Jinglan especially, all the efforts he put into ascending to a position of power were taken with the intention to save Xiahou Lian… He was so desperate to protect him from any pain and suffering, he was so desperate to just KEEP him by his side the moment they reunited. The helplessness he felt throughout to novel was absolutely devastating at every turn.
Xiahou Lian really allows Xie Jinglan to be childish, he allows him to be himself when he is in his company, he allows him to be human and that is something no one else was ever able to give him. And Xie Jinglan cared for him when he thought no one would, while they’re definitely slight idiots when it comes to each other (I mean come on, how many misunderstandings can you fit in a relationship?), that also shows how deeply they care and how much they would sacrifice for each other at every turn…
The sole existence of the other made life worth it, made the suffering worth it, made the years of yearning and separation worth it, just so that they could stay together. This genuine joy they feel when they are together…. they always were each other’s home, from beginning to end….
11 years!!! 11 years worth of worrying, yearning and misunderstandings and yet, they still came out happy in the end, despite all the hardships they had to get through to finally be with each other.
Since their childhood Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan really devoted everything to each other, they changed so much throughout their lifes and suffered so much on their own paths, but even that could not rip apart the bond they shared. They mean everything to each other and would sacrifice everything just for the other to be okay….
Xie Jinglan especially, all the efforts he put into ascending to a position of power were taken with the intention to save Xiahou Lian… He was so desperate to protect him from any pain and suffering, he was so desperate to just KEEP him by his side the moment they reunited. The helplessness he felt throughout to novel was absolutely devastating at every turn.
Xiahou Lian really allows Xie Jinglan to be childish, he allows him to be himself when he is in his company, he allows him to be human and that is something no one else was ever able to give him. And Xie Jinglan cared for him when he thought no one would, while they’re definitely slight idiots when it comes to each other (I mean come on, how many misunderstandings can you fit in a relationship?), that also shows how deeply they care and how much they would sacrifice for each other at every turn…
The sole existence of the other made life worth it, made the suffering worth it, made the years of yearning and separation worth it, just so that they could stay together. This genuine joy they feel when they are together…. they always were each other’s home, from beginning to end….
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 18, 2023
This story will be forever engraved in my soul.
January 28, 2024
5⭐️
Did I finish this novel or this novel finish me?
Ha sido precioso, la ambientación y descripciones como el desarrollo de los personajes, tanto individual como de pareja. Su relación fue tormentosa y lucharon por estar juntos, venciendo hasta la propia muerte.
Love is real. Pero de verdad, la forma en la que Xiahou Lian y Shen Jue/Xie Jinglan se aman es inmensurable, codependiente y simplemente hermosa.
“You don’t understand he is other people hell, but he’s my bliss.” 🥲
“If you live I’ll find you, if you die I’ll accompany you.”
….. THEY. 🥲😭😭🥲
Did I finish this novel or this novel finish me?
Ha sido precioso, la ambientación y descripciones como el desarrollo de los personajes, tanto individual como de pareja. Su relación fue tormentosa y lucharon por estar juntos, venciendo hasta la propia muerte.
Love is real. Pero de verdad, la forma en la que Xiahou Lian y Shen Jue/Xie Jinglan se aman es inmensurable, codependiente y simplemente hermosa.
“You don’t understand he is other people hell, but he’s my bliss.” 🥲
“If you live I’ll find you, if you die I’ll accompany you.”
….. THEY. 🥲😭😭🥲
July 3, 2023
if any publisher decides to translate and publish an official english version of this i would buy it in a heartbeat!!
on a more serious note, this book has such a good exploration of grief and strained mother-son relationships. i also love how it delves deeply into the lives of assassins, and the pressure and moral conundrums that they have to deal with while being forced into a profession that makes them take lives for a livelihood.
some other things i really enjoyed:
- the way the story circles back to xie jinglan and the old house where they first met
- all the character & r/ship foils to our main characters
- xiahou pei and xiahou lian in particular really made me cry inside. she wasn't objectively the most nurturing mother but she tried her best and she did a good job in the only way that she knew how to.
- the side characters were really good (situ jin and tang shiqi especially)
- shen jue is an enigma to me even by the time the story ends, and i like it better that way because i still keep thinking about him after finishing the book. but i look at some of the things he does and i'm like, the title is pretty accurate. he's sick alright. sick in the head, or love sick. whatever you want to call it. i want to discuss him and pick apart his character with someone else to understand his thought process.
- garan as an organization truly encapsulates mystery. everything from their masks to the clothes they wear, to their code of conduct, loyalties, rules, mid-july, the mountain location is so good. i would read an entire separate book exploring the politics and life of people within garan.
- the catchphrase (or wham line, if you prefer) - "sending XXX to the Land of Bliss". gives me chills everytime i read it. especially when we hear it being said to shen jue and when xiahou lian says it at the end.
- chi yan was just awesome. i really wonder what happened to him once he leaves the main stage and i really don't understand his motivations but boy is he one hell of a good assassin and fighter. i particularly remember some of the fight scenes towards the end when he joins forces with xiahou lian because reading them gave me chills too. somebody please take note of the body count he's racked up throughout this whole novel
- on that note, someone also please take note of the body count for the entire novel because i'm pretty damn sure a lot of people died. i've never read a danmei with this many individual death/execution scenes (so far)
- overall, a really good story. it's rare that i find a novel which i love wholeheartedly (enough for me to buy a hardcopy book and keep it) and i've only found them in danmei.
on a more serious note, this book has such a good exploration of grief and strained mother-son relationships. i also love how it delves deeply into the lives of assassins, and the pressure and moral conundrums that they have to deal with while being forced into a profession that makes them take lives for a livelihood.
some other things i really enjoyed:
- the way the story circles back to xie jinglan and the old house where they first met
- all the character & r/ship foils to our main characters
- xiahou pei and xiahou lian in particular really made me cry inside. she wasn't objectively the most nurturing mother but she tried her best and she did a good job in the only way that she knew how to.
- the side characters were really good (situ jin and tang shiqi especially)
- shen jue is an enigma to me even by the time the story ends, and i like it better that way because i still keep thinking about him after finishing the book. but i look at some of the things he does and i'm like, the title is pretty accurate. he's sick alright. sick in the head, or love sick. whatever you want to call it. i want to discuss him and pick apart his character with someone else to understand his thought process.
- garan as an organization truly encapsulates mystery. everything from their masks to the clothes they wear, to their code of conduct, loyalties, rules, mid-july, the mountain location is so good. i would read an entire separate book exploring the politics and life of people within garan.
- the catchphrase (or wham line, if you prefer) - "sending XXX to the Land of Bliss". gives me chills everytime i read it. especially when we hear it being said to shen jue and when xiahou lian says it at the end.
- chi yan was just awesome. i really wonder what happened to him once he leaves the main stage and i really don't understand his motivations but boy is he one hell of a good assassin and fighter. i particularly remember some of the fight scenes towards the end when he joins forces with xiahou lian because reading them gave me chills too. somebody please take note of the body count he's racked up throughout this whole novel
- on that note, someone also please take note of the body count for the entire novel because i'm pretty damn sure a lot of people died. i've never read a danmei with this many individual death/execution scenes (so far)
- overall, a really good story. it's rare that i find a novel which i love wholeheartedly (enough for me to buy a hardcopy book and keep it) and i've only found them in danmei.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 2, 2024
HELLO?!!! I DID NOT SEE THIS ON THE 12 LICENDED FROM SEVEN SEA'S?! BUT IT'S LICENSED NOW!!! SO MANY THIS YEAR WTFFFFF IM SO EXCITEDDDD
--
....
JEEZ. this novel made me question my choices. I wish I never started this book, but I also wish I will forever read this book (not really.)
Maybe it's the fact that this story starts as them being little kids (12 year old's), but it feels like a whole lifetime has passed. Every time a character remembers something from the past, I feel so nostalgic its not even funny anymore. I feel like I can't write anything because I have no words for this. There was so much everything and... WOW. I'm- speechless. The ending was everything though. Emptiness feeling ensue!!!
4.8/5
--
"Xiao Lian, we will not meet again."
....
"Xiahou Lian, you're back."
"Mn, I'm back."
"Will you leave again this time?"
"No, I won't leave."
I won't leave for the rest of my life.
...They embraced each other as the world and boundless time stretched out below them. There was only them, eternally unchanging.
JEEZ. this novel made me question my choices. I wish I never started this book, but I also wish I will forever read this book (not really.)
Maybe it's the fact that this story starts as them being little kids (12 year old's), but it feels like a whole lifetime has passed. Every time a character remembers something from the past, I feel so nostalgic its not even funny anymore. I feel like I can't write anything because I have no words for this. There was so much everything and... WOW. I'm- speechless. The ending was everything though. Emptiness feeling ensue!!!
4.8/5
March 26, 2023
”he is other people’s hell, but he is my bliss.”
i cried!!! i loved xiahou lian’s arc and this romance was extremely tender hurt/comfort, aka my kryptonite. i feel like it took me a while to sink into the story, but by the time i reached volume two i was hooked and would have glued myself to my tablet if physically possible. now I’M the one who needs a hug
i cried!!! i loved xiahou lian’s arc and this romance was extremely tender hurt/comfort, aka my kryptonite. i feel like it took me a while to sink into the story, but by the time i reached volume two i was hooked and would have glued myself to my tablet if physically possible. now I’M the one who needs a hug
November 6, 2024
This story was simply amazing; probably one of the best reads for this year. It is very, very plot driven, with just enough romance to keep the reader interested in all aspects of the story. The fluff is sparse compared to the plot, but when they're together, MY GOD, the angst is so, so good.
"All in all, Garan is your past. Your future is here with me."
SPOILERS BELOW
What I enjoyed:
I thought it was very interesting that the writer started off with how the MC and ML met in their childhood years then delving into their reunions, it's a timeline I hadn't seen done yet (usually the scenes in childhood are shown through flashbacks) which to me made the story feel very smooth and consistent. This also helps with how the romance is developed: it's not any sudden thing that makes the two characters fall in love, it's their devotion to each other's wellbeing, wanting the best for the other while being self-sacrificing each time.
The story is, once again, very plot-heavy - it makes you feel as if decades/centuries/thousands of years have passed, but no, all this story is contained before they're even thirty! It feels like the characters have lived a thousand lives by the end of the story. As someone who enjoys an interesting plot, it was really enjoyable.
I liked the fact that both the MC and ML are never afraid to show weakness to each other, crying openly in front of one another in multiple scenes; it makes the characters feel so much more three-dimensional, more human, and makes the scenes with them so much fluffier knowing that they love and trust each other enough to be vulnerable.
Some notes:
I think it's hilarious that the ML is drawn with white hair in fanart when in the extras he's described as still having black hair (I'm guessing it's because he's mentioned to grow multiple white hairs at one point?? lol)
Every villain is humanized to the point I started hating them just to hate - they're all made to be "misunderstood" which honestly we could have kept their backstories, there was no need to humanize every single one. Just something I personally didn't care for.
One question - does the MC never return to his old/original face or what? It was never mentioned if he kept the reconstructed face and honestly it makes me a little sad - I'm sure the ML misses that face
4.75/5
"All in all, Garan is your past. Your future is here with me."
SPOILERS BELOW
What I enjoyed:
I thought it was very interesting that the writer started off with how the MC and ML met in their childhood years then delving into their reunions, it's a timeline I hadn't seen done yet (usually the scenes in childhood are shown through flashbacks) which to me made the story feel very smooth and consistent. This also helps with how the romance is developed: it's not any sudden thing that makes the two characters fall in love, it's their devotion to each other's wellbeing, wanting the best for the other while being self-sacrificing each time.
The story is, once again, very plot-heavy - it makes you feel as if decades/centuries/thousands of years have passed, but no, all this story is contained before they're even thirty! It feels like the characters have lived a thousand lives by the end of the story. As someone who enjoys an interesting plot, it was really enjoyable.
I liked the fact that both the MC and ML are never afraid to show weakness to each other, crying openly in front of one another in multiple scenes; it makes the characters feel so much more three-dimensional, more human, and makes the scenes with them so much fluffier knowing that they love and trust each other enough to be vulnerable.
Some notes:
I think it's hilarious that the ML is drawn with white hair in fanart when in the extras he's described as still having black hair (I'm guessing it's because he's mentioned to grow multiple white hairs at one point?? lol)
Every villain is humanized to the point I started hating them just to hate - they're all made to be "misunderstood" which honestly we could have kept their backstories, there was no need to humanize every single one. Just something I personally didn't care for.
One question - does the MC never return to his old/original face or what? It was never mentioned if he kept the reconstructed face and honestly it makes me a little sad - I'm sure the ML misses that face
4.75/5
June 17, 2024
I honestly was not expecting a happy ending. The way that the author kept stressing me out with random bits of foreshadowing had me pacing my room at 2 in the morning.
This pairing displayed the everlasting loyalty of love and how once you find your person, you’ll do anything to keep them happy and safe, even if it means relinquishing your own happiness. Xie Jinglan and Xiahou Lian consistently prioritized the other, and that kind of selflessness is what was so nice about their dynamic.
I also liked how they seemed to complement each other with Xiahou Lian’s rough exterior but ultimately the way he’d cave for Xie Jinglan, and Xie Jinglan’s cold demeanor but the way he always doted on Xiahou Lian.
The side characters were also fun to read. I really liked Xiahou Pei and Chi Yan. Even Baili Yuan eventually got me.
All in all, an enjoyable read (but be aware there’s a lot of pain and angst before the happy ending).
This pairing displayed the everlasting loyalty of love and how once you find your person, you’ll do anything to keep them happy and safe, even if it means relinquishing your own happiness. Xie Jinglan and Xiahou Lian consistently prioritized the other, and that kind of selflessness is what was so nice about their dynamic.
I also liked how they seemed to complement each other with Xiahou Lian’s rough exterior but ultimately the way he’d cave for Xie Jinglan, and Xie Jinglan’s cold demeanor but the way he always doted on Xiahou Lian.
The side characters were also fun to read. I really liked Xiahou Pei and Chi Yan. Even Baili Yuan eventually got me.
All in all, an enjoyable read (but be aware there’s a lot of pain and angst before the happy ending).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 18, 2025
It was an absolutely incredible novel, I loved everything about it, the characters, the plot, the separation, then the author decided to add smut at the end, counting the extras we have 1 dubcon scene and literally 3 r*pe scenes. I'm disgusted, there was huge potential but the author wanted to put their kink into their novel, the scenes were horrible and very out of character. A waste of time, I cried with frustration because it was so bad, a huge potential thrown away for smut, r*pe, bdsm and blackmail.
January 9, 2023
Wow!! This was quite a ride! The plot was amazing! It was heavy on the angst all the way until the end, but it was told in such a way that you felt the characters pain as they experienced the different situations in their lives. They went through so much and finally they reunite, that fateful reunion when they were young branded them forever. The writing style, the fighting scenes, the description of the scenarios, it was almost like you were there in the novel itself. The translation completed by ExR was totally superb! I’m looking forward to the extras once they are complete!
Read
June 11, 2025many thoughts, many feelings after finishing this one. i struggled a lot with how i should rate this one lol, but i think 4/5 is pretty appropriate
first of all, absolutely loved the plot. the beginning was a bit slow, but oh boy once it picked up it never slowed down again. shit just kept happening????? it was hard to put it down at times. it was easy to follow, i also didn‘t have any trouble keeping up with all the side characters, everything just flowed perfectly.
xiaohu lian must have more lives than a cat because damn how did he survive all that??? he’s standing on deaths door more often than i can count and it makes me all the more emotional now that i finished and he can finally be happy with his wife *coughs* husband *coughs*
i try to not be too critical when it comes to smut in danmei since it is a more acquired taste more often than not, but i have to point out that the smut in here dampened my enthusiasm for the main couple a bit. thankfully we really only get that one scene (not including the bonus chapters, which i yet have to read), but it was enough to turn me off lmao, i really wish they made use of a fade to black instead but oh well. let’s just say the consent is very questionable.
ANYWAY don’t let that stop you from reading this, it really was such a good read and i absolutely loved our power couple and the side characters (chi yan my BELOVED) and the family dynamics and yeah. i‘m sad it’s over now, the ending really made me teary eyed lmao
ALSO. WE NEED MORE TWINS IN DANMEI. THAT‘S ALL I'M SAYING ABT THIS (<- loves fictional twins)
first of all, absolutely loved the plot. the beginning was a bit slow, but oh boy once it picked up it never slowed down again. shit just kept happening????? it was hard to put it down at times. it was easy to follow, i also didn‘t have any trouble keeping up with all the side characters, everything just flowed perfectly.
xiaohu lian must have more lives than a cat because damn how did he survive all that??? he’s standing on deaths door more often than i can count and it makes me all the more emotional now that i finished and he can finally be happy with his wife *coughs* husband *coughs*
i try to not be too critical when it comes to smut in danmei since it is a more acquired taste more often than not, but i have to point out that the smut in here dampened my enthusiasm for the main couple a bit. thankfully we really only get that one scene (not including the bonus chapters, which i yet have to read), but it was enough to turn me off lmao, i really wish they made use of a fade to black instead but oh well. let’s just say the consent is very questionable.
ANYWAY don’t let that stop you from reading this, it really was such a good read and i absolutely loved our power couple and the side characters (chi yan my BELOVED) and the family dynamics and yeah. i‘m sad it’s over now, the ending really made me teary eyed lmao
ALSO. WE NEED MORE TWINS IN DANMEI. THAT‘S ALL I'M SAYING ABT THIS (<- loves fictional twins)
January 20, 2023
I feel like I held my breath the entirety of this novel and only at the end of it could I breathe properly. Everything always goes from 0-100 in this novel but its thrilling. You never know if you'd get a cute chapter or something gut wrenching. Also, the assassinations are really brutual. All good danmeis make me cry so this one gets a 5/5.
February 1, 2024
English name: Governor's Illness
Reading this was seriously a roller coaster of emotions. The author has a way of writing that can really punch you in the gut with all the feels. And those cliffhangers! I'm so glad I read this after it was fully translated, since the author seems to be fond of leaving her readers hanging constantly. The writing was beautiful and very descriptive at times, and the translator did a great job of capturing this in her translation.
The story first starts when our main characters are 12 years old. Xiahou Lian, who grew up as part of a group of assassins called the Garan, is brought into the Xie mansion as a temporary child servant while his mother goes on a long journey to assassinate someone. He gets assigned to serve the unfavored young master Xie Jinglan, and in a short couple months, they form a deep bond that continues when they meet again briefly by chance two years later. Even though the time they spend together in their childhood isn't long, they experience some intense events together and become best buddies that wholeheartedly trust each either. Unfortunately, when they finally meet again after many years apart, that trust has faded and they each need some time to start opening up to each other again.
The story is split into two volumes. The first volumes focuses on their childhood and covers some of their separate adult lives. It was good, but my favorite part of the story comes after they reunite after many years apart. Once they resolve all the misunderstandings and start working together to investigate what's really going on with Garan, things get more interesting. There are so many touching moments that tug at your heartstrings, both for the main characters as well as the side characters.
Speaking of which, I loved the whole cast of characters here, which is rare for me. Even the side characters are all fully fleshed out and experience growth, and I found myself getting saddened whenever something bad happened to one of them.
The romance is done really well. The two main characters have experienced so much, and even when they were apart, XJL never stopped thinking about and searching for XHL. It was so touching how he remained so dedicated to XHL after all those years. And when they do reunite, there were some really sweet words that they each think or say about each other. They had me cracking up as well given the dynamics of their relationship and who was the wife XP
I really enjoyed this story, but I'm deducting a star because I wasn't super engrossed in the plot itself. I think I just didn't find the whole backstory of the internal politics in Garan that interesting. I found myself struggling to not get distracted and keep reading. Also, while the writing was beautiful, it wasn't written clearly at times, and there were many instances where I reread a passage a couple times and still wasn't sure what was going on. In those cases, I would have to keep reading on to figure out what happened or who got injured.
Anyways, here are some of my thoughts on miscellaneous things that happen:
Warning: **SPOILERS AHEAD**
I mentioned above that I found the plot itself just okay. To elaborate more on that, I initially was intrigued by the fact that Xiahou Lian's mom was betrayed by his dad, who did it to make XHL stronger. However, once the whole truth came out about the two factions in Garan, I personally didn't find it that interesting and lost interest in the story. It felt a bit random, especially since XHL was supposed to have ended Garan after the first book when he killed his own father, and then we find out that Garan is still thriving under Duan Jiu's leadership with the help of the Bliss Fruit in the second book.
Thank god the misunderstanding between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan was cleared up relatively quickly when they met again. It was absolutely killing me that Xiahou Lian thought XJL wanted to kill him and wouldn't tell XJL his true identity, and XJL didn't recognize him because he had completely changed his facial and bone structure. Also I was glad the second misunderstanding about who Missy was resolved quickly too. I was afraid the author would drag it out and torture us readers more, but luckily it was cleared up within a chapter and it even lead to a lot of sweetness with their mutual confession of feelings.
How ironic that the eunuch Shen Jue that was hated by the righteous faction and his old teacher Dai Shengyan is Teacher Dai's personal disciple and a member of a family that once belonged to the righteous faction. Plus all this came out as his teacher came forward to put his crimes as Shen Jue on trial.
Speaking of Dai Shengyan, he's another side character that I liked and respected. Kudos to him for choosing to die with dignity rather than letting himself be used as a hostage to force XJL to work with Garan and do dirty deeds.
I was legit super sad when Situ Jin died. He was a good man and deserved to live happily with his family rather than be killed by Garan.
Chi Yan was such a cute character. He knows the ways of the world but still remains so pure in a way. I felt bad that he was forced by the Garan to be Garuda and work for them, even though all he wants is to search for his younger brother. He has an interesting dynamic with Baili Yama as well.... he wants to kill her but is also nice to her, and in the end takes her ashes with him in his travels.
Even the minor characters like Xia Zhu were fleshed out a bit. It must've been really hard for her to be torn between her loyalty and her love, only to find out in the end that she was played by everyone around her. Still, she did provide for some amusing comedic relief, when XHL kept inserting himself between her and Shen Jue when she tried to play mistress of the manor.
Some of my favorite scenes:
When they finally recognize each other
Xiahou Lian asked softly, "Young Master, you said before that you wanted me to be your gatekeeper and guard your home for you. Does the offer still hold?"
Does it still hold?
The wind started again, and Shen Jue turned his head to look at him. Lights and shadows fell into his eyes, like crushed sunlight, black mixed with gold. The youth's spirit and the assassin's fierceness melted into an indescribable unrestraint, but that heavy smile was the same as before, no more and no less.
For years, thousands upon thousands of yearnings had been in deep sleep in Shen Jue's heart, like gloomy chrysalises. At this moment, they finally broke their cocoons and became butterflies, their gorgeous and colorful wings interweaving together, as brilliant as iridescent clouds.
He smiled, tears soaking the rims of his eyes.
"It holds."
It has always held.
--------------------
D'awwww Xiahou Lian is the only one that can make Shen Jue feel emotions again
There was sadness and also sweetness in his heart, the sweetness among a stomachful of bitterness, contradictory yet also addictive. He had operated carefully, step by step, for ten years, and his heart had already been beat in the deep palace to be impenetrable by water or fire, as hard as iron. But this heart suddenly became extremely soft, like a ball of cotton, a sea of clouds, able to be grabbed with his hand and placed into Xiahou Lian's scorching palm.
"Young Master, you're so stupid," said Xiahou Lian.
"You're the stupid one." Shen Jue's voice was a little choked. He didn't dare to say more, afraid that Xiahou Lian would hear it.
"You keep pushing me away." Xiahou Lian gripped his shoulders forcibly. "Don't do this anymore."
I won't. Shen Jue thought silently, I'll grab onto him and never let go.
--------------------
Just another touching scene between them
He suddenly felt that time had reversed. He wasn't the governor of the Eastern Depot and Xiahou Lian wasn't some Garan assassin. They were still two helpless youths from many years ago, tightly embracing in the dark. The mountain breeze blew the flames, and firelight leapt and wandered on their bodies. Ruins and devastation spread and stretched underneath their feet. They were like two tiny shadows in the barren world, two lone shadows together and forming a pair, sticking together in life and death from now on.
"It's okay. It's okay, A-Lian, you have found me, and I have found you."
He patted Xiahou Lian's back gently and slowly spoke this sentence. It was like a consolation, and it was like a promise.
--------------------
Chi Yan being hilarious with his clueless questions
"Chi Yan, what's the matter with you?" Xiahou Lian reached out and shook his hand in front of Chi Yan's eyes. He thought this way and that, but he didn't know how he had provoked Chi yan.
"You lied to me," Chi Yan said in a low voice.
Xiahou Lian was stunned. "Huh?"
Chi Yan lowered his eyes, his long eyelashes covering his clear and quiet eyes, an obvious desolation on his face. "Before, you said that you can only marry a woman for a wife, and that they have to be younger than you. They also have to be virtuous and can keep the house, cook, and do needlework. The little young master does not fit a single one, but you took him as your wife."
Xiahou Lian was speechless. He wanted to explain, but he was clumsy with speech, and only after a long time did he stammer, "At the time, I originally liked women..." He caught a glimpse of Shen Jue's gaze that was becoming colder and colder, and bit his own tongue, forcibly swallowing all of his words back.
Fuck, always saying what shouldn't be said. This was just great, the two of them were offended together now
Shen Jue put down his chopsticks and took the napkin Shen Wenxing was holding to wipe his mouth. "A-Lian taught you correctly, though what he taught you was the principle of common customs. The harmony of yin and yang conforms with human relations, so according to convention,a man should indeed marry a woman, and a woman wed a man. However, human relationships must not be restricted, and cannot be forbidden by sages. As long as they like each other, how is being male or female a hindrance? If you meet someone you like one day, whether it's a man or a woman, you should do what you want." He turned the ring on his hand and smiled. "There's one more thing you misunderstood, your little brother didn't take me as his wife. Since he lives in Shen Manor and took my surname, he is naturally married to me."
Xiahou Lian wanted to retort, but Shen Jue swept a chilly gaze over, and Xiahou Lian closed his mouth.
Chi Yan was stunned. He looked at Shen Jue with wide eyes, and Shen Jue also looked silently at him. Then, he turned his head to look at Xiahou Lian, repeating in a low voice, "Do what I want?"
"Naturally," said Shen Jue.
Chi Yan asked, "Then can I marry the two of you?"
The entire hall was silent. Xiahou Lian's movements were slow as he held his forehead.
Reading this was seriously a roller coaster of emotions. The author has a way of writing that can really punch you in the gut with all the feels. And those cliffhangers! I'm so glad I read this after it was fully translated, since the author seems to be fond of leaving her readers hanging constantly. The writing was beautiful and very descriptive at times, and the translator did a great job of capturing this in her translation.
The story first starts when our main characters are 12 years old. Xiahou Lian, who grew up as part of a group of assassins called the Garan, is brought into the Xie mansion as a temporary child servant while his mother goes on a long journey to assassinate someone. He gets assigned to serve the unfavored young master Xie Jinglan, and in a short couple months, they form a deep bond that continues when they meet again briefly by chance two years later. Even though the time they spend together in their childhood isn't long, they experience some intense events together and become best buddies that wholeheartedly trust each either. Unfortunately, when they finally meet again after many years apart, that trust has faded and they each need some time to start opening up to each other again.
The story is split into two volumes. The first volumes focuses on their childhood and covers some of their separate adult lives. It was good, but my favorite part of the story comes after they reunite after many years apart. Once they resolve all the misunderstandings and start working together to investigate what's really going on with Garan, things get more interesting. There are so many touching moments that tug at your heartstrings, both for the main characters as well as the side characters.
Speaking of which, I loved the whole cast of characters here, which is rare for me. Even the side characters are all fully fleshed out and experience growth, and I found myself getting saddened whenever something bad happened to one of them.
The romance is done really well. The two main characters have experienced so much, and even when they were apart, XJL never stopped thinking about and searching for XHL. It was so touching how he remained so dedicated to XHL after all those years. And when they do reunite, there were some really sweet words that they each think or say about each other. They had me cracking up as well given the dynamics of their relationship and who was the wife XP
I really enjoyed this story, but I'm deducting a star because I wasn't super engrossed in the plot itself. I think I just didn't find the whole backstory of the internal politics in Garan that interesting. I found myself struggling to not get distracted and keep reading. Also, while the writing was beautiful, it wasn't written clearly at times, and there were many instances where I reread a passage a couple times and still wasn't sure what was going on. In those cases, I would have to keep reading on to figure out what happened or who got injured.
Anyways, here are some of my thoughts on miscellaneous things that happen:
Warning: **SPOILERS AHEAD**
I mentioned above that I found the plot itself just okay. To elaborate more on that, I initially was intrigued by the fact that Xiahou Lian's mom was betrayed by his dad, who did it to make XHL stronger. However, once the whole truth came out about the two factions in Garan, I personally didn't find it that interesting and lost interest in the story. It felt a bit random, especially since XHL was supposed to have ended Garan after the first book when he killed his own father, and then we find out that Garan is still thriving under Duan Jiu's leadership with the help of the Bliss Fruit in the second book.
Thank god the misunderstanding between Xiahou Lian and Xie Jinglan was cleared up relatively quickly when they met again. It was absolutely killing me that Xiahou Lian thought XJL wanted to kill him and wouldn't tell XJL his true identity, and XJL didn't recognize him because he had completely changed his facial and bone structure. Also I was glad the second misunderstanding about who Missy was resolved quickly too. I was afraid the author would drag it out and torture us readers more, but luckily it was cleared up within a chapter and it even lead to a lot of sweetness with their mutual confession of feelings.
How ironic that the eunuch Shen Jue that was hated by the righteous faction and his old teacher Dai Shengyan is Teacher Dai's personal disciple and a member of a family that once belonged to the righteous faction. Plus all this came out as his teacher came forward to put his crimes as Shen Jue on trial.
Speaking of Dai Shengyan, he's another side character that I liked and respected. Kudos to him for choosing to die with dignity rather than letting himself be used as a hostage to force XJL to work with Garan and do dirty deeds.
I was legit super sad when Situ Jin died. He was a good man and deserved to live happily with his family rather than be killed by Garan.
Chi Yan was such a cute character. He knows the ways of the world but still remains so pure in a way. I felt bad that he was forced by the Garan to be Garuda and work for them, even though all he wants is to search for his younger brother. He has an interesting dynamic with Baili Yama as well.... he wants to kill her but is also nice to her, and in the end takes her ashes with him in his travels.
Even the minor characters like Xia Zhu were fleshed out a bit. It must've been really hard for her to be torn between her loyalty and her love, only to find out in the end that she was played by everyone around her. Still, she did provide for some amusing comedic relief, when XHL kept inserting himself between her and Shen Jue when she tried to play mistress of the manor.
Some of my favorite scenes:
When they finally recognize each other
Xiahou Lian asked softly, "Young Master, you said before that you wanted me to be your gatekeeper and guard your home for you. Does the offer still hold?"
Does it still hold?
The wind started again, and Shen Jue turned his head to look at him. Lights and shadows fell into his eyes, like crushed sunlight, black mixed with gold. The youth's spirit and the assassin's fierceness melted into an indescribable unrestraint, but that heavy smile was the same as before, no more and no less.
For years, thousands upon thousands of yearnings had been in deep sleep in Shen Jue's heart, like gloomy chrysalises. At this moment, they finally broke their cocoons and became butterflies, their gorgeous and colorful wings interweaving together, as brilliant as iridescent clouds.
He smiled, tears soaking the rims of his eyes.
"It holds."
It has always held.
--------------------
D'awwww Xiahou Lian is the only one that can make Shen Jue feel emotions again
There was sadness and also sweetness in his heart, the sweetness among a stomachful of bitterness, contradictory yet also addictive. He had operated carefully, step by step, for ten years, and his heart had already been beat in the deep palace to be impenetrable by water or fire, as hard as iron. But this heart suddenly became extremely soft, like a ball of cotton, a sea of clouds, able to be grabbed with his hand and placed into Xiahou Lian's scorching palm.
"Young Master, you're so stupid," said Xiahou Lian.
"You're the stupid one." Shen Jue's voice was a little choked. He didn't dare to say more, afraid that Xiahou Lian would hear it.
"You keep pushing me away." Xiahou Lian gripped his shoulders forcibly. "Don't do this anymore."
I won't. Shen Jue thought silently, I'll grab onto him and never let go.
--------------------
Just another touching scene between them
He suddenly felt that time had reversed. He wasn't the governor of the Eastern Depot and Xiahou Lian wasn't some Garan assassin. They were still two helpless youths from many years ago, tightly embracing in the dark. The mountain breeze blew the flames, and firelight leapt and wandered on their bodies. Ruins and devastation spread and stretched underneath their feet. They were like two tiny shadows in the barren world, two lone shadows together and forming a pair, sticking together in life and death from now on.
"It's okay. It's okay, A-Lian, you have found me, and I have found you."
He patted Xiahou Lian's back gently and slowly spoke this sentence. It was like a consolation, and it was like a promise.
--------------------
Chi Yan being hilarious with his clueless questions
"Chi Yan, what's the matter with you?" Xiahou Lian reached out and shook his hand in front of Chi Yan's eyes. He thought this way and that, but he didn't know how he had provoked Chi yan.
"You lied to me," Chi Yan said in a low voice.
Xiahou Lian was stunned. "Huh?"
Chi Yan lowered his eyes, his long eyelashes covering his clear and quiet eyes, an obvious desolation on his face. "Before, you said that you can only marry a woman for a wife, and that they have to be younger than you. They also have to be virtuous and can keep the house, cook, and do needlework. The little young master does not fit a single one, but you took him as your wife."
Xiahou Lian was speechless. He wanted to explain, but he was clumsy with speech, and only after a long time did he stammer, "At the time, I originally liked women..." He caught a glimpse of Shen Jue's gaze that was becoming colder and colder, and bit his own tongue, forcibly swallowing all of his words back.
Fuck, always saying what shouldn't be said. This was just great, the two of them were offended together now
Shen Jue put down his chopsticks and took the napkin Shen Wenxing was holding to wipe his mouth. "A-Lian taught you correctly, though what he taught you was the principle of common customs. The harmony of yin and yang conforms with human relations, so according to convention,a man should indeed marry a woman, and a woman wed a man. However, human relationships must not be restricted, and cannot be forbidden by sages. As long as they like each other, how is being male or female a hindrance? If you meet someone you like one day, whether it's a man or a woman, you should do what you want." He turned the ring on his hand and smiled. "There's one more thing you misunderstood, your little brother didn't take me as his wife. Since he lives in Shen Manor and took my surname, he is naturally married to me."
Xiahou Lian wanted to retort, but Shen Jue swept a chilly gaze over, and Xiahou Lian closed his mouth.
Chi Yan was stunned. He looked at Shen Jue with wide eyes, and Shen Jue also looked silently at him. Then, he turned his head to look at Xiahou Lian, repeating in a low voice, "Do what I want?"
"Naturally," said Shen Jue.
Chi Yan asked, "Then can I marry the two of you?"
The entire hall was silent. Xiahou Lian's movements were slow as he held his forehead.
February 16, 2023
It's been quite a while since I so enjoyed a cnovel. I have read quite a lot of danmei by this point and the stories tend to blur because of heavy reliance on similar tropes, so I often often drop a novel halfway through because I got the gist of it. This was unique, with tropes I rarely come across, and with mysteries that left me guessing.
Exiled Rebel Scantalations (who were the first to do the fan translation of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) has improved dramatically. Their translations are almost novel-like. I read and dropped Omega上司有尾巴 by ExR recently -- the story was predictable but I actually kept reading because the translation quality was very good. In this one, there were some very beautiful turns of phrase, poetic, almost, and I really enjoyed the English translation. I actually much preferred the EN translation to the original CN.
The story spans across 10+ years with time skips, following the paths of the two main characters as tragedy befalls them and they become adults in response to the trauma they experienced, with both choosing to live for revenge. Lots of plot twists as the two seek revenge and cross paths as they unearth the bigger plot behind the tragedies in their childhood. The beginning was rather slow and I mostly skimmed the first 40-60 chapters, but the setting up pays off and the story gets really interesting when the two characters are adults and have come into themselves.
It's a bit hard to describe this novel because it's sort of a politics novel, sort of a wuxia/xianxia novel, sort of a revenge novel, sort of a coming-of-age novel, and sort of a character introspection novel. I wish there was more romance?? Too little fluff and cute interactions 😭 I really like the two leads together and wanted to see more of that but there was lots of plot to deal with (don't get me wrong, I liked the plot a lot), and I liked that the author paid a lot of care in crafting each lead's arc. The themes in Xie Jinglan and Xiahou Lian's lives and the major questions that they struggle with as they become adults are thoughtfully written (on par with Shen Lanzhou's arc in 将进酒 Qiāng Jìn Jiǔ Please Drink Up!)
Overall, a refreshing book with a surprising level of depth and care when it comes to characters.
Exiled Rebel Scantalations (who were the first to do the fan translation of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) has improved dramatically. Their translations are almost novel-like. I read and dropped Omega上司有尾巴 by ExR recently -- the story was predictable but I actually kept reading because the translation quality was very good. In this one, there were some very beautiful turns of phrase, poetic, almost, and I really enjoyed the English translation. I actually much preferred the EN translation to the original CN.
The story spans across 10+ years with time skips, following the paths of the two main characters as tragedy befalls them and they become adults in response to the trauma they experienced, with both choosing to live for revenge. Lots of plot twists as the two seek revenge and cross paths as they unearth the bigger plot behind the tragedies in their childhood. The beginning was rather slow and I mostly skimmed the first 40-60 chapters, but the setting up pays off and the story gets really interesting when the two characters are adults and have come into themselves.
It's a bit hard to describe this novel because it's sort of a politics novel, sort of a wuxia/xianxia novel, sort of a revenge novel, sort of a coming-of-age novel, and sort of a character introspection novel. I wish there was more romance?? Too little fluff and cute interactions 😭 I really like the two leads together and wanted to see more of that but there was lots of plot to deal with (don't get me wrong, I liked the plot a lot), and I liked that the author paid a lot of care in crafting each lead's arc. The themes in Xie Jinglan and Xiahou Lian's lives and the major questions that they struggle with as they become adults are thoughtfully written (on par with Shen Lanzhou's arc in 将进酒 Qiāng Jìn Jiǔ Please Drink Up!)
Overall, a refreshing book with a surprising level of depth and care when it comes to characters.
April 5, 2025
Llevo 30 minutos mirando la pared, intentando decidir qué escribir, no sé si estoy enojada o feliz o triste o qpdo akdjfn pERO QUÉ CHOTAS FUE ESO??! ME DAS MIGAJAS COMO HAPPY ENDING?? YO OCUPO MÍNIMO 200 PÁGINAS DE LOS PROTAS SIENDO FELICES DESPUÉS DE TREMENDA ODISEA QUE LOS HACES PASAR MALDITASEA
4.5
Fuera de eso, en verdad un besito en el coco a le autorx, porque es una historia de amor, de destino, de karmas y voluntades y mucho trauma, pero qué bueno estuvo.
Xiahou Lian, todo precioso no lo pude proteger de la vida y quizá ese era el punto, por doloroso que fuera, debía luchar sus batallas solo. Lo que alivió un poco el sentimiento fue saber que su vida estuvo moteada por personas que lo amaron ante todo, como Xie Jinglan y ahora solo me queda el consuelo de que por fin estarán juntos y a salvo, o tan a salvo como pueden estarlo.
Xie Jinglan, gobernador, Shen Jue, su travesía en verdad empezó como una historia de venganza pero al final todo era por Xiahou Lian. Mi compa el menos obsesionado también pasó mucho sufrimiento, y su única esperanza era Xiahou Lian, aunque a cada rato se le intentaba desaparecer, lo logró. Por favor, cuidense mucho, no se enojen, tienen una vida para sanar, ante esa esperanza, no hay chispa de enojo que no se apague con amor.
Sé que me veo re delulu escribiéndole a los personajes, pero después de pasar por tanto sufrimiento, lo mínimo es desearles felicidad. En verdad me cuestioné si quería seguir leyendo, pero todo sea por los chinos geis más pendejos y escurridizos q he conocido KJSDFSJ.
Ahora, claro que les recomiendo leer esta historia, pero no es a fuerza que me hagan caso porque en efecto es un buen de sufrimiento, en realidad la historia de romance son como salpicaduras en una pintura más grande.
En cuanto a la trama, me gustó mucho cómo fueron creciendo las cosas, porque tenía sentido. Los personajes secundarios también tenían historias que contar y lo dieron todo. Aunque hay algunas cosas en las que quizá me cegó el sufrimiento y sentí que como que lo estaban prolongando sin razón, creo que pues se puede perdonar porque luego se echaba unas frases romanticonas o de reflexión bien pegadoras.... kdsfnskj a ver si luego cito alguna, vivan las fan translations. En cuanto al ritmo a veces se aflojaba, pero x, somos chavos akjsandkj, Solo sí siento que no es una historia para todxs skdjfsk.
La recompensa no fue tanta como esperaba (4 míseros extras) pero me quedo tranquila porque capaz si le pido a lx autorx que se expanda, me los manda a sufrir por dos montañas más.
Y bueno, ese es mi reporte, gracias x dejarme ser parte de esa travesía.
4.5
Fuera de eso, en verdad un besito en el coco a le autorx, porque es una historia de amor, de destino, de karmas y voluntades y mucho trauma, pero qué bueno estuvo.
Xiahou Lian, todo precioso no lo pude proteger de la vida y quizá ese era el punto, por doloroso que fuera, debía luchar sus batallas solo. Lo que alivió un poco el sentimiento fue saber que su vida estuvo moteada por personas que lo amaron ante todo, como Xie Jinglan y ahora solo me queda el consuelo de que por fin estarán juntos y a salvo, o tan a salvo como pueden estarlo.
Xie Jinglan, gobernador, Shen Jue, su travesía en verdad empezó como una historia de venganza pero al final todo era por Xiahou Lian. Mi compa el menos obsesionado también pasó mucho sufrimiento, y su única esperanza era Xiahou Lian, aunque a cada rato se le intentaba desaparecer, lo logró. Por favor, cuidense mucho, no se enojen, tienen una vida para sanar, ante esa esperanza, no hay chispa de enojo que no se apague con amor.
Sé que me veo re delulu escribiéndole a los personajes, pero después de pasar por tanto sufrimiento, lo mínimo es desearles felicidad. En verdad me cuestioné si quería seguir leyendo, pero todo sea por los chinos geis más pendejos y escurridizos q he conocido KJSDFSJ.
Ahora, claro que les recomiendo leer esta historia, pero no es a fuerza que me hagan caso porque en efecto es un buen de sufrimiento, en realidad la historia de romance son como salpicaduras en una pintura más grande.
En cuanto a la trama, me gustó mucho cómo fueron creciendo las cosas, porque tenía sentido. Los personajes secundarios también tenían historias que contar y lo dieron todo. Aunque hay algunas cosas en las que quizá me cegó el sufrimiento y sentí que como que lo estaban prolongando sin razón, creo que pues se puede perdonar porque luego se echaba unas frases romanticonas o de reflexión bien pegadoras.... kdsfnskj a ver si luego cito alguna, vivan las fan translations. En cuanto al ritmo a veces se aflojaba, pero x, somos chavos akjsandkj, Solo sí siento que no es una historia para todxs skdjfsk.
La recompensa no fue tanta como esperaba (4 míseros extras) pero me quedo tranquila porque capaz si le pido a lx autorx que se expanda, me los manda a sufrir por dos montañas más.
Y bueno, ese es mi reporte, gracias x dejarme ser parte de esa travesía.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 29, 2025
Painful book to finish. I feel like these two kept having the entire world just be against their happiness. They get separated as kids and meet again and then separate again. In between these times they meet, they end up living a million lives. Jinting was so persistent with his love. He held onto it like it’s the last bit of hope and innocence that he had left in the world. Path of revenge is never a pretty one. I cried a lot during Lian’s mom’s death. That was just so brutal and violent. The way Lian had to see that and choose a more violent life than the one that he already had. Ngl everytime these two ended up reuniting, I still felt like something would tear the apart. Lian’s position is so tough. Being born into a clan of assassins who are all meant to die either under a blade or the poison are just horrible cards to be dealt. I think tides changed because of Lian’s upbringing and his meeting with Jinting. Jinting did everything his power to pull Lian out but in this story, everyone’s got their own destiny. Baili was such a tragic character. So hellbent on not being lonely but going about it in the way she knows how. The goodness she knows isn’t kind to the people she wants in her life. Everything about her made me depressed cause there could’ve been a world where she could’ve not been so lonely. Lian’s dad pissed me off! He was truly selfish till the end. I know we’re victims to our situation but I wish he hadn’t let his selfishness hurt his kids so much. Anyways, during the sweeter moments from this story, Jinting truly was such a freak and Lian also equally a freak. They stressed me out so bad but the yearning felt so good cause we were in pain like every few chapters. Istg there was not a moment of peace even till the end. Once you thought a conspiracy was taken apart, you find out there’s more to the conspiracy. Like damn. It kinda made me annoyed cause it stretched out the story so much. Felt like unnecessary pain and betrayal. We’re just lucky Lian ended up surviving. I genuinely thought there was no way to get that poison out of his body. Jinting’s probably the happiest about it cause otherwise that man would be suicidal.
March 29, 2023
I was completely enthralled by this story. From the plot to the main characters and romance, I can point out very few flaws.
Here we have two young men with very different temperaments and backgrounds, whose paths cross by chance in their childhood and again in their early twenties. After years of hardships, tragedy, and loss, their dedication to each other remains unchanged and gives them a reason to persevere even in the darkest of moments. The author was successful in establishing a strong foundation for their relationship right from the start and in showing how they came to be the ingenious young adults we accompany throughout most of the novel. There are many emotional passages, and the complicated mother-son relationship between Xiahou Lian and Xiahou Pei brought tears to my eyes in more than one instance.
With a gripping plot and an assortment of charismatic and unique characters, 督主有病 incorporates political intrigue and martial arts without going too deep into either theme, making the writing more straightforward than other historical (and equally high-quality) danmei such as Qiang Jin Jiu, Thousand Autumns, Sha Po Lang, etc.
The plot does rely a tad too much on coincidence and luck, as several key moments depend on one or more characters being in the right place at the right time. The martial techniques and abilities are also a bit over the top, but none of that hinders the experience. I would wholeheartedly recommend this novel to anyone who enjoys historical drama and power couples/soulmates.
Here we have two young men with very different temperaments and backgrounds, whose paths cross by chance in their childhood and again in their early twenties. After years of hardships, tragedy, and loss, their dedication to each other remains unchanged and gives them a reason to persevere even in the darkest of moments. The author was successful in establishing a strong foundation for their relationship right from the start and in showing how they came to be the ingenious young adults we accompany throughout most of the novel. There are many emotional passages, and the complicated mother-son relationship between Xiahou Lian and Xiahou Pei brought tears to my eyes in more than one instance.
With a gripping plot and an assortment of charismatic and unique characters, 督主有病 incorporates political intrigue and martial arts without going too deep into either theme, making the writing more straightforward than other historical (and equally high-quality) danmei such as Qiang Jin Jiu, Thousand Autumns, Sha Po Lang, etc.
The plot does rely a tad too much on coincidence and luck, as several key moments depend on one or more characters being in the right place at the right time. The martial techniques and abilities are also a bit over the top, but none of that hinders the experience. I would wholeheartedly recommend this novel to anyone who enjoys historical drama and power couples/soulmates.
August 1, 2024
2,5/5
The begging was enjoyable then the misunderstandings started dragging into the infinite and I became bored the abomination of smut the author put in gave me the rest. Like communication exists please talk to each other. Especially the thoughts of the ML where disgusting, i even doubted his love for the MC.
Like I have meet black/red flags with more understandable inner voices than him.
I sign up for a lot of fuvked up shit (Profundis, code name Anastasia etc.) but they manage to make it work. Not in my fluffy “green flag” novels please
But let’s get to the writing: would you believe me if I say the author is just lazy.
The story starts chronologically from their childhood until now. First of all there is a reason most authors don’t start of that way. It’s supposed to give us familiarity and understanding of the characters. It’s basically a really long and almost unnecessary character introduction. An characterization that is ruined by the smut (which is dub-con bordering 🍇). Just because you wrote and scripted out the back story of the characters doesn’t mean that the book needs to include it all. Leave mysteries, use structure
In conclusion this is a ill-thought out book where the almost kink of the author ruined the book
The begging was enjoyable then the misunderstandings started dragging into the infinite and I became bored the abomination of smut the author put in gave me the rest. Like communication exists please talk to each other. Especially the thoughts of the ML where disgusting, i even doubted his love for the MC.
Like I have meet black/red flags with more understandable inner voices than him.
I sign up for a lot of fuvked up shit (Profundis, code name Anastasia etc.) but they manage to make it work. Not in my fluffy “green flag” novels please
But let’s get to the writing: would you believe me if I say the author is just lazy.
The story starts chronologically from their childhood until now. First of all there is a reason most authors don’t start of that way. It’s supposed to give us familiarity and understanding of the characters. It’s basically a really long and almost unnecessary character introduction. An characterization that is ruined by the smut (which is dub-con bordering 🍇). Just because you wrote and scripted out the back story of the characters doesn’t mean that the book needs to include it all. Leave mysteries, use structure
In conclusion this is a ill-thought out book where the almost kink of the author ruined the book
June 12, 2025
I know it’s tagged HE, I know okay? I know that the main characters are happy, But you literally killed every single character I took a liking?! And I don’t even know If my baby boy Chi Yan is alive?!
It was a journey of suffering and suffering and suffering, how could you tag it HE it there were like only three moments of happiness and extras?
I loved the characters and the side characters, it had been in awhile since I suffered so much for some side characters and the main characters journeys were so hard to read! How could they put on a funny title when the story is so sad?
But I really liked the fighting scenes, the intricate plot, the care and all the characters developments. They all had important roles in the plot and had helped in the journey. It’s good that the romance was a part of the story, not the main plot, but even so a really important device of the story.
It was all beautiful.
It was a journey of suffering and suffering and suffering, how could you tag it HE it there were like only three moments of happiness and extras?
I loved the characters and the side characters, it had been in awhile since I suffered so much for some side characters and the main characters journeys were so hard to read! How could they put on a funny title when the story is so sad?
But I really liked the fighting scenes, the intricate plot, the care and all the characters developments. They all had important roles in the plot and had helped in the journey. It’s good that the romance was a part of the story, not the main plot, but even so a really important device of the story.
It was all beautiful.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 2, 2024
[I read Vivian/Exiled Rebel Scanlations' translation.]
On the whole, I really liked this book - the main couple have such devotion to each other, the political wrangling managed to be interesting, and I made it to the end! HOWEVER.
For me personally, the sex scenes went way too far into dub-con (or past it, to non-con), and it really ruined my enjoyment of the whole book. I had a tough time finishing it because of that. I understand that you, the reader, are supposed to not think the MC is actually not-consenting, etc., but that did not actually come across to me at all with how this reads; it reads like he does not ever consent. There's also some super-graphic torture (perpetrated by our main characters). That combination makes it hard for me to recommend this one to anyone. Sorry: I *really* did like it other than that (said Mrs. Lincoln).
On the whole, I really liked this book - the main couple have such devotion to each other, the political wrangling managed to be interesting, and I made it to the end! HOWEVER.
For me personally, the sex scenes went way too far into dub-con (or past it, to non-con), and it really ruined my enjoyment of the whole book. I had a tough time finishing it because of that. I understand that you, the reader, are supposed to not think the MC is actually not-consenting, etc., but that did not actually come across to me at all with how this reads; it reads like he does not ever consent. There's also some super-graphic torture (perpetrated by our main characters). That combination makes it hard for me to recommend this one to anyone. Sorry: I *really* did like it other than that (said Mrs. Lincoln).
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