“Once upon a zombie” follows Caitlin, a 14 year old girl who recently moved to London with her dad and younger sister. The story starts on Halloween and Caitlin, who suffers from socially-induced panic attacks, has to decide whether she has to go to the party organized by her new high-school. She’s afraid they’ll make fun of her but the boy she has a crush on invited her, how could she pass it up? Especially because they made plans for the after-party. There have been weird sightings at famous cemeteries all over the world where fairytales’ authors rest in peace and Lewis Carrol’s grave is located in a town nearby.
However things don’t go quite the way they were supposed to and Caitlin finds herself in a graveyard with her 12 year-old sister and a zombie who claims Caitlin is the only one who can save the imaginary worlds.
Unfortunately I didn’t enjoy this book. Mind you, it isn’t a “bad” book. It simply wasn’t for me. It’s one of those “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” situations. In this particular case, I’m pretty sure all the problems I had with it came down to one thing: it’s a middle grade book.
It is rare for me to enjoy middle grade books. Despite the few exceptions, middle grade books and I don’t get along well. I usually find them boring and childish and I never quite seem to get into the story. Once upon a zombie was no exception.
Reason n° 1.
Yes, the character were truly childish. Caitlin, our main character, is 14 years old but her reasoning and her overall behavior would be fit for someone younger than her know-it-all living encyclopedia of a sister, who was 12 years old.
Reason n°2.
The characters weren’t distinct. We meet 4 princesses (Rapunzel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow) but if the author hadn’t specified “Rapunzel was asking” or “Cinderella replied”, who would have known who was speaking and who was saying what? They were a bunch of silly and fragile girls who kept smiling and being kind when they should have monsters ready to kick some ass and get their kingdoms back.
Reason n° 3.
“Once upon a zombie” but where are the zombies? Creatures called the blood eyed were mentioned and seldom appeared but that was it. The princesses were supposed to be zombies but they weren’t walking corpses craving human blood and flesh. They were pale, had dark circles under their eyes and had no beating heart. Here are your rotting and decaying zombies. No, thank you.
Reason n° 4.
Unbelievable. I’m very well aware it’s a paranormal books, therefore there are going to be paranormal elements present but it is not believable that a 14 year old and a 12 year old go out at night, take the train to go to a nearby town’s cemetery without their dad realizing what’s happening and stopping them. Moreover, and I speak from experience, a girl who suffers from panic attacks at such a young age could have never done all the things that Caitlin does. She hesitates, got it, but she goes through with it and that would never happen to someone with anxiety.
Reason n° 5.
I was bored out of my mind. More than half of the book, the characters were trying to find the one who would have told them why what had happened had actually happened and how to make it go away; in the meantime they had to face some challenges but they didn’t feel very adventurous or dangerous to me. I had the impression it was building up to something that never came, as if it was a prequel to the first actual book but even then it would be too long. 100 pages instead of more than 300 would have sufficed.
You get what I’m saying? A very young reader would indeed bypass all my reasons and would simply embark on the adventure and relish in the fairytale-esque and descriptive writing style but I am bit too grown up for it and couldn’t close my eyes.
In conclusion, I’m pretty sure a kid would enjoy it but I won’t be continuing on with this series.
*Thanks to Smith Publicity for sending a finished copy my way, I really appreciate it. This hasn't affected my opinion on the book*