Boys Will Be Human: A Get-Real Gut-Check Guide to Becoming the Strongest, Kindest, Bravest Person You Can Be, by the Author, Actor, and Director Justin Baldoni

by Justin Baldoni

A New York Times bestseller! From filmmaker, actor, and author Justin Baldoni comes a real-talk, self-esteem-building guidebook that helps boys ages 11 and up embrace their feelings and fears instead of repress them. Highly designed and filled with activities, sidebars, and inspirational quotes, this book is the perfect social-emotional learning tool for parents and educators to jump-start conversations about masculinity with the boys in their lives. WARNING: THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST HONEST BOOK YOU’VE EVER READ Have you ever noticed that there are unwritten rules that tell boys how to act, think, and feel? Nobody knows where they came from, but one day—BAM!—you suddenly feel these invisible forces, pushing you to follow the rules of masculinity, even if they don’t make you happy. This book isn’t about learning the rules of the boys’ club, it’s about UNLEARNING them. It’s a get-real guidebook that will show you how to be: —and much, much more. Be prepared: This book is raw and surprising. There is no subject off-limits or lies detected. Sometimes things might get a little uncomfortable, but that’s an important part of getting to know—and believe in—yourself. Don’t worry, you're not on this journey alone, so let’s jump in together to become the smartest, bravest, strongest HUMANS we can be!

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Self Help, Middle Grade, Childrens, Audiobook, Mental Health

304 pages, Hardcover

Published October 4, 2022

About the author

Justin Baldoni is a devoted husband, father of two, and Bahá’í. He is an actor, director, producer, and the co-founder and co-chair of both Wayfarer Studios and the Wayfarer Foundation. Over the last ten years, Justin has been on a journey to explore masculinity and reimagine what it means to be a man—what it means to be a human—in the world today. He has spoken about his journey with masculinity in his wildly popular TED talk, and his digital series “Man Enough”, as well as on college campuses across America.

Reviews

[Emily | emilyisoverbooked · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to HarperCollins Children's Books, HarperCollins for the ARC.

After lovvving Man Enough, I immediately went and requested Boys Will Be Human, knowing I’d absolutely need this book for my family. My boys are 9 and 5, and while this book is geared for boys 11+, I loved learning more concepts and language I can start using now before I have my oldest listen to this book when it’s more age appropriate. I am totally using this french fry analogy to describe consent - it was so good! I just loved this book. It’s everything I want my sons to hear and know. The whole time I was listening to this, I was also just thinking about how valuable this could be for single mothers, too, who may not have a solid male role model to connect with on some of these topics.

Anyway,
If you have literally any men in your life —> read Man Enough.
If you have sons or nephews or students in your life —> read Man Enough and Boys Will Be Human.

[Kim Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book! Justin was great about the topics that he chose and sharing from a young boy/teens perspective. As a mom of boys, I learned a few things and got some tools for how to approach subjects with my sons as they arise. Great read for all parents, especially of young boys as they grow and mature.

[Lauren J · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a boy mom, I appreciate this book! Definitely something my boys will read when it’s time. Thank you.

[EJ Pepe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not the target audience for this book. However, as a mom of a boy and a teacher of many boys I wanted to read it before recommending my students take a look at it. Unfortunately I found it to be very boring and I don't see my students having the attention span for this book. I think there were a lot of great insights and gems inside the book. The prompts were great and I could see myself using those with students but some of the stories just dragged on. I often hook kids in with graphic novels and I could totally see them loving a graphic novel adaptation of this book. Or a possible workbook/journal type book where they read shorter stories and have space to reflect on the journal prompts. As any sort of independent reading I don't know if this would hold their attention.

Thanks to NetGalley and Harper Collins Childrens for allowing me to read an advanced copy of the book!

[Mridul · Rating 2 out of 5]

He sounds like a man-child who newly found therapy, discovering himself, the guy who used to act with a golden retriever adhd cute guy energy and people took advantage of his low impulse control, walked all over him, and now somehow thinks he is ready to share his knowledge. no bro, you are still a child.

He sounds like me, 6 months in therapy, proud and excited that I have figured out my whole past, I know everything, but I hardly know shit (my 2.5yrs in therapy says).

I felt the same amount of disgust while reading Susan Cain's Quiet. There were very few things that I read and said, "Oh I should write this down!!". Very few.

Also, what baffles me more is that this book is published in 2022!! JUST NOW NOW, AND STILL SUCH OLD VIEWS!!

[Devon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this from the library and wanted to read it to be sure it was okay before passing it on to Giles. I’m definitely not the target audience as I’m not a pre/currently pubescent boy. But I have my own experiences with reading (TERRIBLE FUCKED UP) “you’re growing up!” books and this was significantly better than the ones I read as a kid. It talks a lot about questioning traditional masculinity and being yourself, and i think we could all benefit from having more people who lean into questioning what we’re told it means to be a man.

[Travis Standley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The honesty in this book is refreshing. From it, I have some great talking points as the father of two young sons. I appreciate the author’s coverage of key topics that resonate with me. I appreciate the coverage of masculinity, EMOTIONS, and bringing long-time taboo out into the open. A small portion of this book is outside of my value set but even with that in play, this is a helpful book!

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received a free copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review*

As a single mom of a young boy I was interested in this book to see if it would have anything I could use in talking with him about the obstacles he will face as he gets older. As a school psychologist I was interested in this book to see if there was anything that could be applied to my work with adolescent boys. The great news is that I found that there indeed was. With the way many parent groups are today it probably wouldn't be possible to get this into middle and high school libraries, but I would definitely talk to parents about checking it out and having their child read it. I thought the author did a great job of also bringing attention to the double standard we place on boys in society and how sometimes unfair expectations are placed on them. I think having this book written by a man from his own past experiences and perspectives rather than from someone with a PhD makes it much more accessible for young readers. The gut check prompts are a great way to have readers reflect back on what they have read and apply those lessons to their lives.

[Sarah Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Justin!!! As a mom of three young boys, I love the insight into what boys need ❤️

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful!! A great book for all boys and men to read and learn from.

[Kathryn Omole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for work, and while I’m not the target audience (teen boys), I’m glad this book exists. Justin Baldoni is honest, vulnerable and has an enormous heart. His aim in writing this book was to tell teen boys all the things he wish he knew when he was growing up. The writing isn’t necessarily masterful, but it doesn’t have to be to have the desired impact.

[Paul Valencia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book to read before handing it off to my sons. I did it through audio book and the author was the narrator. He does really well and the themes included are spot on. I know it’s meant for a younger crowd so I’m sure this is intentional, but it sometimes comes off as too childish. I still highly recommend this and plan to read the adult version as well.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m giving it four stars for its intended audience. Props to JB for stepping into an important cultural conversation with vulnerability.

[madi · Rating 5 out of 5]

i loved this book and the authors honesty and vulnerability! i purchased this book for my husband but wanted to read it to understand struggles and unspoken rules that men go through that aren’t really spoken about. justin was honest and raw and i’m excited to hear my husbands thoughts once he reads the book.

[Stephen Konnovitch · Rating 5 out of 5]

IN PROGRESS

Reading this as a 22 year old male is an interesting experience. I went through stages with this:

1: Love Justin Baldoni’s podcast: Man Enough. Listen every week, of course I had to pick up a copy of the book he’s been promoting.

2: go to bookstore to pick it up. Have a woman direct me to the children’s section of the Barnes and nobles to get this. Immediately start thinking of it as a children’s book and internally debate if I should even read it at all.

3: I give it a shot, first chapter or so, I realize that this is definitely for kids younger than me. I’m

IN PROGRESS

[Kira Beatty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts felt like they dragged on. I was often unsure of the target age group for this book.

Definitely a few golden nuggets in here, but I’m not sure many boys would be interested in reading this.

[Mom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful. My boys and I listen to it all the time. In the car and in the house. It’s up there with Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy, The Myth of Normal by Gabor Matè, Raising Antiracist Children by Brit Hawthorne. The parenting survival trifecta ❤️

I wonder if Justin Baldoni knows he’s a Marxist 🥰☮️✌️ The next generation of boys may still be dealing with the generations of mistreatment of women…I guess we’re watching systemic trauma play out live with our own sons… Patriarchy really does hurt all of us.

What a drag capitalism is… That’s the thing with starting to deconstruct all the systems we are forced to live under and have no say in. All roads lead to the bourgeoisie war against the working class.

Funny how history continues to repeat itself, isn’t it 🤡 Funny that the top 1% of Americans have taken $50 trillion from the bottom 90%. Funny that slavery is still going on in our prison systems. The Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution abolished slavery and involuntary servitude, 🚨except as punishment for a crime🚨 Did you know when an inmate refuses to work for the corporate elite they typically go into the hole? Solitary confinement for choosing to not be used for slave labor.

We criminalize the poor. Distance ourselves from them by subconsciously dehumanizing them. Telling ourselves they must deserve it, the system works and it could never be us. That’s our privilege. Are they hungry? People in our own communities. Hidden, forgotten, shamed… for being poor… This is just a bigger picture of what this book preaches. Sometimes it’s children in our own communities. What do we say about them? These are real people. We could be them at any moment. I will probably be one of them when my kids are grown because I will never stop fighting this inhumane system.

The system always looms over us to keep us in line. Teaches us we are competition. Teaches us it’s just human nature. It teachers us we have to fight to eat instead of how to make enough to feed each other. There is enough when the wealth gets redistributed. There is PLENTY when we are not being used and extorted. When we are all getting the things we really need instead of the things these companies want to sell us to prove we’re better than or more deserving of comfort or perceived luxury when there are billions of dollars waisted daily by the bourgeoisie. To keep us all ignorant and filling the voids we all naturally get from EACH OTHER.

Funny that prisoners are used by McDonald’s, Samsung, papa John’s, Wendy’s, Walmart, Whole Foods, Amazon, Starbucks, Apple, Disney.… Using human labor as capital in a system designed to imprison its working class. What are we all doing being brainwashed by this system? The us military is the largest global polluter. The govt constantly wastes our money in this game. They are all paid off by corporate lobbyists. LEGALLY. Democrats work for the bourgeoisie. Republicans work for the bourgeoisie. Cop cities are being built around the US to keep us under control. To keep us in line.

“We have to say something even when other people might judge us” 🤡 “even when it might get our butt kicked”🤡 You’re right, Justin. We do. The system dehumanizes us. Humanity depends on humans being humans. We all need to wake up now. The earth is not going to take much more of us. The bourgeoisie can’t continue to squeeze us for every drop we have in us. These systems we are forced to live under are ANTI HUMAN! Anti LIFE! Time to wake up for our babies. For the future of this planet. We are extracting and consuming TOO MUCH. We are literally dying to be thinner thicker prettier cooler richer…OTHERED. We are all othering each other instead of UNIFYING. You guys… come on now.

You can be benefiting from the system and still be a cog. You can be part of the upper class while being FAR closer to homelessness than you will ever be to the 1% bourgeoisie. I benefit from this system and still want better for my children. Systems of inequality rob us of basic humanity because we are all unconsciously fighting to get to the top of this tiny perceived hierarchy. When we are all pushed down, used and extorted by the 1%. Community is always the answer. Unions are always the answer. Educating our children about these systems. White supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, are all systems of inequality to USE US and this planet for capital 🤦🏻‍♀️ Our lives are capital to be played with. REAL HUMAN LIVES. We are all sick. Deconstructing the systems are against the odds because of all the constant propaganda. Now imagine with AI my brothers and sisters.

There is more than enough on the planet to sustain us. If we stop playing monopoly. Did you know monopoly was created by a woman with two versions? One showing how capitalism takes and destroys and one version showing how it would work if we all work for each other, with each other, turn towards each other. A Marxist version. Guess what capitalism did to her game?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizzi....

Guess what capitalism tells us about communism/Marxism? Guess what it says, my fellow millenials. Raising gen z on this planet. Capitalism tells us that communism is SCARY, fam 🥰 Can you believe it?! (I couldn’t for 40 years!) Can you believe the system that exploits us teaches us community is BAD. US Imperialism and the World Economic Forum are both global ✨capitalism✨, my family. Neoliberalism does the work of the bourgeoisie by individualizing us and regulating us. Our political leaders will never do anything because they have perceived benefit. Who benefits by being bought and sold as capital? NO ONE. Not even the ones that do all the buying. It’s a WILD system at our expense and mostly at the expense of black/brown Americans… Tale as old as time. OOF, it does hurt doesn’t it. It’s ok that it hurts. That’s where we find our compassion. We find our compassion in the hurt. We can start to recognize our status in this terrible game, and how we’re all othered and how we other each other. We are doing everything out of fear. Fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough…We are all so sick in our emotional memory. Inside our bodies. We hold on to all of this in our bodies. If we can’t buy the time to learn how to do it differently or buy the right care for our traumatized bodies. Emotional trauma is stored in the physical body. Don’t forget. The system makes us sick and then blames us for it.


Now tell me I don’t sound like an actual insane person. Would you believe I’m quite educated? Would you believe I look normal and act normal in society? Would you believe i put on my mask like everyone else and go and function in the real world with a smile on my face for my children? Would you believe I’m just like you? Another hurt victim of this terrible system with a good heart and belief in humanity. Really makes you think…doesn’t it. Really makes me want to read Marx and get into my community ❤️✌️


This is the rant/plea I needed deep down in my soul through very angry tears after listening while putting my 8 year old son to bed who has to grow up in this place too. We’re real people too ❤️


**audible would not allow me to post this rant/review. What a thing for the bourgeoisie to censor 🤡**

[Flavia Maria Todisco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sei un maschio e hai più di 12 anni? DEVI assolutamente leggere questo libro.

Di base credo possa aiutare qualunque persona nel suo percorso per diventare più forte, gentile e coraggiosa ma penso che sicuramente DEVONO obbligatoriamente leggerlo le persone di genere maschile a partire dai 12 anni di età.

È un libro che aiuta a comprendere cosa significhi essere maschio al giorno d’oggi, come la mascolinità venga percepita nella società e sia altamente tossica. Un libro che aiuta a comprendersi e a essere persone migliori per sé stessi e quando ci si relaziona con gli altri. Affrontando ambiti diversissimi: dalla sessualità all’amore, dal rapporto con il proprio corpo, al consenso, dal rapporto con la crescita al dover rispettare determinati canoni imposti da altri.

Quel dover essere anziché essere coerenti con il proprio sentire, che è dominante nella società di oggi.

Un’altra faccia del femminismo, quella di un uomo che combatte per la parità dei generi.

Ecco, tutti questi sono elementi con i quali vi ritroverete a scontrarvi durante la lettura di questo libro e potrebbero aiutare a scavare dentro di sé per diventare ogni giorno uomini migliori, anzi esseri umani migliori, che è l’obiettivo che chiunque dovrebbe sempre perseguire.

[Patrick Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful and heartfelt meditation filled with good advice for boys and those who help raise them. It covers a lot of ground: friendship, body image, sex, and romance (refreshingly treated as two distinct but related topics).It also makes an earnest attempt to be trans and non-binary inclusive.

It's not groundbreakingly novel, but it's a good synthesis. One thing I didn't know when I started reading, and which certainly gives this book an element of difference from anything else like it, is that Baldoni, while speaking to a broad audience, frequently draws on his Baha'i faith.

My only concern is that the author has pitched it pretty clearly at boys aged about 12-15 (he says 11+), while I feel that some of that the level of self-reflection expected is more realistic for slightly older teenagers.

Finally, this book is definitely going to be challenged in school libraries for its frank discussion of sexuality. That's to the author's credit, but unfortunate for many potential readers.

[Jayd'n Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest, practical, and surprisingly moving

I really liked Boys Will Be Human. Justin Baldoni’s approach to talking about masculinity feels refreshing — it’s thoughtful, vulnerable, and full of real-life examples that make his advice feel accessible. The book isn’t preachy; it’s more like a conversation with someone who genuinely wants to help you become a better version of yourself, not just “fix” you.

What stood out to me was how he blends personal stories with practical guidance. There’s a lot here about being brave, kind, and self-aware, and it made me think about the ways society shapes men — and how those lessons can impact everyone, not just men. I liked that he focuses on emotional honesty, empathy, and accountability, which are things we don’t talk about nearly enough.

It’s not perfect — some sections felt a little repetitive, and I wished a few topics had been explored more deeply. But overall, it left me feeling inspired and thoughtful, which is what I look for in a book like this.

[Chandler Brandetsas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Justin does a fantastic job talking about topics that are too often considered taboo or often not properly addressed to boys growing up. Chapter by chapter, he takes on these topics, such as body image, sex, relationships - just to name a view. He does so in a conversational tone and allows the reader to feel comfortable - even for some topics that may make you feel very uncomfortable.

The book is an excellent follow-up to his first book, ‘Man Enough.’ This book is more structured for younger male audiences, however I feel like anyone that reads this, whether they be 11-99, they will get something out of this excellent work. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for an honest, in-depth analysis of boys becoming men, as it open up the door to important conversations. The book allows for a vulnerable reflection on yourself and helps you understand how you can become the best man you can be.

[Natalie Osguthorpe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not the target audience, it’s for adolescent boys but I read it since I have a son. Mostly I thought it was great. Here were some takeaways for me:

Teach boys to:
- be brave enough to be who they are rather than traditional “bravery” which tells them to do things they don’t necessarily want to do
- be smart enough to ask questions rather than feeling the pressure to always know everything
- be “cool enough” to feel all their emotions - understanding that they don’t have to suppress how they feel just because they are boys and feel pressure to put up a front. Don’t give into the motto of be a man.. “Be more than men, be fully human.”
- be confident enough to know their worth, exactly as they are
- be strong enough to speak up for who they are and what they believe is right
- understand and remove pressures around puberty
- not buy into “nice guys finish last.” That’s a damaging cop out for men who feel rejected and are looking for something to blame

[TheNextGenLibrarian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning: this might be the most honest book you’ve ever read:
👦🏼
In this incredibly honest, informational, eye-opening nonfiction work. Middle grade & young adult readers will UNLEARN society’s unwritten rules for how boys should behave/feel/act/live their lives. He takes a deep dive into what it means to be HUMAN rather than all the expectations placed on our boys and young men.
👦🏾
This MG+ book has my whole heart. I believe every human should be required to read it and have the conversations that come naturally in every chapter. If you get uncomfortable or disagree KEEP READING! It’s okay to have those feelings—if you don’t have them while reading a personal development book then you’re doing it wrong. This was real, raw & relatable and it goes in any middle/high/public library immediately.

CW: gender norms, gender stereotypes, bullying

[Courtney Kammers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tried to read this under the guise of it being the *first* time I'd heard any of this information.

I don't think Justin Baldoni has the pathos to be an authority for kids (but that is my experience, maybe kids love him and I am out of the loop) so instead I read through the lens of him having some amount of skill building an emotional or logical argument for making changes. He does not - for me! He might for others.

I think this book is fine for kids around age 13 if they are sheltered, 10 if they are not. He writes about sex and porn, so if those are topics you are uncomfortable discussing with you kid then you probably need to find someone who is not uncomfortable discussing those things. This book might work for that but it will probably raise more questions than answers.

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decided to read it after loving Man Enough. I am not the target demographic for this book, but to me this book ultimately fails what I believe is its main goal: being relatable to young/preadolescent boys. It is too repetitive and written in manner that might fail to grasp a preteens attention (particularly with quotes and statistics). Even 8-9 years younger than the author, I recognize my experience growing up was very different from today’s preteens, particularly with social media, and accessibility to information. That being said, just because I believe it failed its main goal, doesn’t mean it failed all its goals. There are plenty of lessons to be learned from this book, that can help to aid in teaching young boys how to perceive and love themselves.

[Meg Kearney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is like a end of middle school/entering high school pep talk for boys. Though it's recommended for ages 11 and 12, I would recommend reading it first before deciding when your son should read the content. The second half is alot about romantic relationships and xxxual relationships. There are definitely some topics that I personally think this would be a better place to read about them than the internet or you tube. Though I think these conversations are best with parents - I can see that these are also hard subjects to get through, and boys may respond better to having the time and space to read on their own - I would recommend it as a listen though - on the audiobook.

[JariSW · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a child and family therapist who has worked with pubescent and adolescent boys, young adult males, and victims of sexual trauma, I can't say enough good things about this book. Justin touches on so many topics that are essential to the healthy biopsychosocial development of boys, that I think every adult who is nurturing, caring for, or raising a boy, should read it and own a copy that they can share with their child. I plan to gift this book to each of my nephews as they enter early adolescence. I wish I had had this book when my own son was 12/13.

[Sache · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

I listened to the audiobook and I think this book is an excellent read and conversation starter for men but particularly boys and young men coming into their own. Justin does a good job of laying out unhealthy, though very normalized, behavior while not damning or condemning males. His jokes are hella corny but I think they serve a purpose of helping the reader/listener along in the winding road of challenging topics that are relevant to men.

I’d definitely give this to a young man in my life—my only pause is I don’t know how effective this would be for one.

[Meghan Bohn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written in a conversational tone, this book addresses a number of topics like body image, cultural expectations, sex, consent, and love. I think this will be a fantastic tool for addressing toxic masculinity. Per the publisher, it is for boys ages 11 and up, and acknowledges that some kids might not be ready for some of the topics (and that's okay!) at both the start of the book, and the beginning of the sex chapter.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the ARC!

[Klaudia Scarlett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is aimed towards younger boys and their teachers/guardians, but even I - a 19 year old person who is not a boy - have found this book very valuable. I have a 12 year old brother and I will definitely be giving this book to him. This book does not hold back, but I appreciate it being honest while also comforting and reassuring. Simple starting point into tricky conversations. Necessary read for young boys AND adults of any gender.