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This Is How I Live Now
When a high school star suffers an unbelievable tragedy, one misunderstood girl may be the only one who can save him.
Sixteen-year-old Lily Jordan is trying to suppress her tragic past to deal with the unimaginable hurdles of her present. Circumstances no one can ever know. Not that it matters. No one cares about the odd girl who's better off forgotten. She's reminded, though—every day—of the danger she poses, so she stays away from others. She can't be the cause of another tragedy.
Cohen Chambers is a piano prodigy with perfect pitch and a host of admirers. When he's not playing, he's composing songs in his head using the pitches of airplane engines and light bulb hums. Cohen's path has been smooth and steady, but he is about to take the most frightening ride of his life. And he may never be the same.
When the aftermath of Cohen’s terrifying experience threatens to change the course of his life forever, Lily fears she’s to blame and reaches out to him anonymously. Through the course of time, and the exchanging of notes withholding her identity, Lily has to decide if she’s able to look past the danger she poses to help her newfound friend, or stay in the shadows, watching his downfall from afar.
Maybe it’s possible that these unlikely friends may be able to help each other face the mountain of obstacles life has placed in their paths.
Sixteen-year-old Lily Jordan is trying to suppress her tragic past to deal with the unimaginable hurdles of her present. Circumstances no one can ever know. Not that it matters. No one cares about the odd girl who's better off forgotten. She's reminded, though—every day—of the danger she poses, so she stays away from others. She can't be the cause of another tragedy.
Cohen Chambers is a piano prodigy with perfect pitch and a host of admirers. When he's not playing, he's composing songs in his head using the pitches of airplane engines and light bulb hums. Cohen's path has been smooth and steady, but he is about to take the most frightening ride of his life. And he may never be the same.
When the aftermath of Cohen’s terrifying experience threatens to change the course of his life forever, Lily fears she’s to blame and reaches out to him anonymously. Through the course of time, and the exchanging of notes withholding her identity, Lily has to decide if she’s able to look past the danger she poses to help her newfound friend, or stay in the shadows, watching his downfall from afar.
Maybe it’s possible that these unlikely friends may be able to help each other face the mountain of obstacles life has placed in their paths.
271 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 3, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
February 27, 2023
If you read angsty teenage drama this book is for you
Kindle Unlimited. I reviewed this book before giving it for my teenage daughter. It’s a Young Adult (14-18) story but written with dynamic intelligence and realistic dialogue. The pages read more like a diary from a budding author than YA fiction. Lesley Larosee knows how teenager behave, talk, and think. Each chapter alternates between the first-person perspective of the main characters Lily and Cohen. For example, this paragraph highlights her writing style: “Despite my internal plea, he continues, ‘You did this. Remember that.’ With those final words, he leans away from me. The surrounding air lightens, but his words weigh heavily on me.” YA fiction is not my preferred book but I will recommend it to my daughter.
Kindle Unlimited. I reviewed this book before giving it for my teenage daughter. It’s a Young Adult (14-18) story but written with dynamic intelligence and realistic dialogue. The pages read more like a diary from a budding author than YA fiction. Lesley Larosee knows how teenager behave, talk, and think. Each chapter alternates between the first-person perspective of the main characters Lily and Cohen. For example, this paragraph highlights her writing style: “Despite my internal plea, he continues, ‘You did this. Remember that.’ With those final words, he leans away from me. The surrounding air lightens, but his words weigh heavily on me.” YA fiction is not my preferred book but I will recommend it to my daughter.
December 16, 2024
(4.25/5) something about innocent high school romance with a hint of tragedy ALWAYS HITS. idc how old i am i will always go back to it. lilycohen u have my heart❤️
August 10, 2026
This is How I Live Now | Lesley Larosee
⭐⭐⭐(3/5)
✨Ratings✨
Plot 3/5
Setting 2.5/5
Characters 3.5/5
Writing 4/5
This was one of those situations where I randomly saw this book on KU and thought, "Why not?" I went into it pretty blind, and it honestly wasn't what I was expecting. The story follows characters Lily and Cohen, the outcast girl and popular "perfect" boy. He is a musical genius and she is just trying to avoid looking at anyone, but then he gets in a car accident that takes away his ability to make music. Lily steps in because she knows what it feels like to have everything you love taken from you.
I really appreciated how the characters were portrayed. Lily especially felt realistic in how she dealt with the trauma she had experienced. One thing I wasn't expecting was Cohen going to church and praying several times. I don't know anything about the author or if she is a Christian.
I have no real complaints other than that it gave me weird vibes. I don't know. I think it was just all of the trauma/darkness that the characters faced, as well as some unusual phrasing at times. The ending was also not super conclusive, which worked with the story but wasn't entirely satisfactory.
Quick Content Note: It's been a little while since I read this, so I can't say with 100% confidence, but the main concerns are a little bit of mild language and nondescriptive kissing. At one point a character debates which is better, a donut or his ex-girlfriend "in the dark." A character has been through significant trauma.
✨Final Words✨
This book was interesting, to say the least. I wouldn't tell anyone to avoid it, but I probably also wouldn't recommend going out of your way to read it.
⭐⭐⭐(3/5)
✨Ratings✨
Plot 3/5
Setting 2.5/5
Characters 3.5/5
Writing 4/5
This was one of those situations where I randomly saw this book on KU and thought, "Why not?" I went into it pretty blind, and it honestly wasn't what I was expecting. The story follows characters Lily and Cohen, the outcast girl and popular "perfect" boy. He is a musical genius and she is just trying to avoid looking at anyone, but then he gets in a car accident that takes away his ability to make music. Lily steps in because she knows what it feels like to have everything you love taken from you.
I really appreciated how the characters were portrayed. Lily especially felt realistic in how she dealt with the trauma she had experienced. One thing I wasn't expecting was Cohen going to church and praying several times. I don't know anything about the author or if she is a Christian.
I have no real complaints other than that it gave me weird vibes. I don't know. I think it was just all of the trauma/darkness that the characters faced, as well as some unusual phrasing at times. The ending was also not super conclusive, which worked with the story but wasn't entirely satisfactory.
Quick Content Note: It's been a little while since I read this, so I can't say with 100% confidence, but the main concerns are a little bit of mild language and nondescriptive kissing. At one point a character debates which is better, a donut or his ex-girlfriend "in the dark." A character has been through significant trauma.
✨Final Words✨
This book was interesting, to say the least. I wouldn't tell anyone to avoid it, but I probably also wouldn't recommend going out of your way to read it.
April 6, 2022
I was fortunate enough to receive an advanced copy of this book from the author and finished the story in just a couple of days.
Because I am a lover of YA contemporary stories, I was very excited to dive into this story. I was not disappointed.
It is the story of Lily and Cohen, two teenagers who come together at a difficult time in their lives. Unintentionally, Lily and Cohen each become life preservers for the other. In Lily, Cohen finds a much-needed, non-judgemental friend; someone who will listen to him instead of expecting him to conform to the idealized version of "Cohen" that everyone else holds.
In Cohen, Lily finds a friend who encourages her to be her authentic self. Someone who embraces her vulnerability instead of judging her for it. Someone who helps her to see how damaging the beliefs she holds about herself really are.
The story will make your heart ache. You will feel Lily's pain. You will understand Cohen's frustration, and you will be rooting for these two the whole way.
I also loved the music references in this novel, especially the technical ones. The author is a voice coach, and Cohen is an accomplished musician. To express one's emotion using music as a metaphor was/is so clever, and I ended up learning quite a bit about musical structure. Fascinating!
THIS IS HOW I LIVE NOW is a gorgeous debut novel from an author whose storytelling is poignant, haunting, and wonderfully believable. Five stars.
Because I am a lover of YA contemporary stories, I was very excited to dive into this story. I was not disappointed.
It is the story of Lily and Cohen, two teenagers who come together at a difficult time in their lives. Unintentionally, Lily and Cohen each become life preservers for the other. In Lily, Cohen finds a much-needed, non-judgemental friend; someone who will listen to him instead of expecting him to conform to the idealized version of "Cohen" that everyone else holds.
In Cohen, Lily finds a friend who encourages her to be her authentic self. Someone who embraces her vulnerability instead of judging her for it. Someone who helps her to see how damaging the beliefs she holds about herself really are.
The story will make your heart ache. You will feel Lily's pain. You will understand Cohen's frustration, and you will be rooting for these two the whole way.
I also loved the music references in this novel, especially the technical ones. The author is a voice coach, and Cohen is an accomplished musician. To express one's emotion using music as a metaphor was/is so clever, and I ended up learning quite a bit about musical structure. Fascinating!
THIS IS HOW I LIVE NOW is a gorgeous debut novel from an author whose storytelling is poignant, haunting, and wonderfully believable. Five stars.
June 19, 2022
Soooo good! I loved so many things about this one... the heartaches, and the emotion (I totally cried), and how Cohen's sweetness made me swoony.
I wish I had read stuff like this in high school (instead of murder mysteries and historical fiction). Because to answer Lily's question about why all the other students looked past her and didn't care... is because everyone is too self absorbed in their own issues to realize the fronts people put on aren't always the real story. But these aren't things you learn until you're much older. Reading this now, it makes me wonder who I may have overlooked in my giant high school.
I wish I had read stuff like this in high school (instead of murder mysteries and historical fiction). Because to answer Lily's question about why all the other students looked past her and didn't care... is because everyone is too self absorbed in their own issues to realize the fronts people put on aren't always the real story. But these aren't things you learn until you're much older. Reading this now, it makes me wonder who I may have overlooked in my giant high school.
August 29, 2026
I wanted to love this story. I wanted to be captured by a life altering story because that’s what the title leads you. However, this book had very minimal character building, and a horrific accident didn’t alter much of the main character other than some mild depression at the beginning. This story had a lot of potential and it just didn’t quite get there.
July 3, 2024
Beautiful. I just wanted a little more cuteness (loved the brain thing :D).
April 6, 2025
I have read this book 4 times this year already and I am in love with it. It is such a cute book with so much depth and detail.
April 8, 2025
i can't get over how everyone treated her like omfg
December 16, 2024
2/5
I just did not enjoy. The characters were insufferable
I just did not enjoy. The characters were insufferable
June 17, 2024
It's not a thriller. I keep getting duped by these algorithms and my own not-paying-attention-ness.
Still, this book is tragic and emotional and romantic and I enjoyed it.
Still, this book is tragic and emotional and romantic and I enjoyed it.
April 9, 2022
I was fortunate enough to read an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. And my honest review is...WOW. I would have never guessed that this was Lesley Larosse's debut novel. Her ability to create believable teenage characters is truly a gift. I have read quite a lot of YA over the past few years and often times the dialogue between the teens is stilted and unreal. Not the case in this book. The flow between Cohen and Lily kept me interested and invested in both of them from the very first few pages. This novel is a heart-filled portrayal of two teens both experiencing grief for different reasons, but helping each other through it.
April 24, 2022
Once I started reading, I couldn't stop. Lesley did a great job bringing the characters to life that hit all my emotional heartstrings. I smiled, laughed, and cried and truly felt everything the characters were experiencing. Amazing book and a great read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews