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It Takes More Than Love: A Christian Guide to Navigating the Complexities of Cross-Cultural Adoption
Embrace the beauty and challenges of transracial adoption.
Being an adoptive parent is hard enough. But when your family is multiracial, things get even trickier. Parenting transracially doesn’t come naturally, nor does it just happen with time. Love is essential—yet by itself, love isn’t enough. Cross-cultural parenting also takes intentionality, listening, learning, growing, repenting, changing . . . then starting all over and doing it again. It’s hard work! And yet, when an adoptive family honors the ethnic heritages of their children, the whole family—as well as the watching world—gets to see the beauty of a gloriously creative God.
In It Takes More Than Love, Brittany Salmon shares her own family’s story of transracial adoption and offers a biblically-based guide for others following the same path. Brittany recognizes that we live in divided times and there are extra challenges whenever race is part of the conversation. But with wise insight and hard-won experience, she provides guidance about topics such
Maintaining a Gospel perspective throughout the journeyCelebrating your child’s history and heritageConfronting racismResponding to comments about your familyAvoiding pitfalls in adoptionHelping your kids feel represented in your home and communityNo one is promising transracial adoption will be easy—least of all Brittany! Yet the extra effort is balanced by a beauty that images our eternal destiny. Until the day God makes all things new, the welcoming an inclusive transracial family can help fulfill Jesus’s words, “on earth as it is in heaven.”
Being an adoptive parent is hard enough. But when your family is multiracial, things get even trickier. Parenting transracially doesn’t come naturally, nor does it just happen with time. Love is essential—yet by itself, love isn’t enough. Cross-cultural parenting also takes intentionality, listening, learning, growing, repenting, changing . . . then starting all over and doing it again. It’s hard work! And yet, when an adoptive family honors the ethnic heritages of their children, the whole family—as well as the watching world—gets to see the beauty of a gloriously creative God.
In It Takes More Than Love, Brittany Salmon shares her own family’s story of transracial adoption and offers a biblically-based guide for others following the same path. Brittany recognizes that we live in divided times and there are extra challenges whenever race is part of the conversation. But with wise insight and hard-won experience, she provides guidance about topics such
Maintaining a Gospel perspective throughout the journeyCelebrating your child’s history and heritageConfronting racismResponding to comments about your familyAvoiding pitfalls in adoptionHelping your kids feel represented in your home and communityNo one is promising transracial adoption will be easy—least of all Brittany! Yet the extra effort is balanced by a beauty that images our eternal destiny. Until the day God makes all things new, the welcoming an inclusive transracial family can help fulfill Jesus’s words, “on earth as it is in heaven.”
193 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 5, 2022
23 people are currently reading
414 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
July 10, 2022
I’ve learned so much through this book and I want to learn more! Adoption is not a fairytale and adoptive parents aren’t super heroes. Adoption is beautiful but it also comes with trauma and pain! I’m so grateful for Brittany Salmon urging us to have compassion and understanding for all three corners of the adoption triad. She challenges me to be a humble learner.
May 16, 2022
Adoption isn’t easy. Where can we find help for cross-cultural families? In It Takes More Than Love, Brittany Salmon presents a Christian guide to navigating the complexities of cross-cultural adoption.
Open and Honest
As the father in a multiracial adoptive family, I found this book to be a blessing. Salmon gives an open and honest guide to the realities of cross-cultural adoption. She shares her own story and many of the struggles she faced. She confesses her own sins, and offers hope for adoptive homes.
Discussion questions are presented at the end of every chapter. Research tips and explanations of terms are helpful at the back of the book. This book is for adoptive families, but it is also fitting for those interested in adoption or for those who hope to better help and understand adoptive families.
Representation and Presence
I was most interested to see how Salmon makes the point that representation matters. More than a slogan or catchphrase, action must be taken to find your children windows and mirrors to see their ethnic heritage as important and beautiful. Parents can be the bridge to help their children build curiosity and empathy for their own culture. Real relationships matter most, and I am challenged to provide this for my family.
I was most moved to see how parents can offer their presence in the hard. Salmon shows that trauma and hurt should not be ignored or minimized. Counseling provides a way for parents and children to talk openly about adoption, and we can come to the conversation welcoming it with warmth and compassion. Acknowledgment and affirmation of our stories is a great place to start.
The Courage to Continue the Adoption Journey
This book will speak to your heart as you wrestle with the complexities that come with multiracial adoption. It will help you confront racism and respond to comments about your family. Most importantly, it will give you the courage to continue the adoption journey, knowing that it is worth it, while looking and relying on Jesus all along.
I received a media copy of It Takes More Than Love and this is my honest review.
Open and Honest
As the father in a multiracial adoptive family, I found this book to be a blessing. Salmon gives an open and honest guide to the realities of cross-cultural adoption. She shares her own story and many of the struggles she faced. She confesses her own sins, and offers hope for adoptive homes.
Discussion questions are presented at the end of every chapter. Research tips and explanations of terms are helpful at the back of the book. This book is for adoptive families, but it is also fitting for those interested in adoption or for those who hope to better help and understand adoptive families.
Representation and Presence
I was most interested to see how Salmon makes the point that representation matters. More than a slogan or catchphrase, action must be taken to find your children windows and mirrors to see their ethnic heritage as important and beautiful. Parents can be the bridge to help their children build curiosity and empathy for their own culture. Real relationships matter most, and I am challenged to provide this for my family.
I was most moved to see how parents can offer their presence in the hard. Salmon shows that trauma and hurt should not be ignored or minimized. Counseling provides a way for parents and children to talk openly about adoption, and we can come to the conversation welcoming it with warmth and compassion. Acknowledgment and affirmation of our stories is a great place to start.
The Courage to Continue the Adoption Journey
This book will speak to your heart as you wrestle with the complexities that come with multiracial adoption. It will help you confront racism and respond to comments about your family. Most importantly, it will give you the courage to continue the adoption journey, knowing that it is worth it, while looking and relying on Jesus all along.
I received a media copy of It Takes More Than Love and this is my honest review.
April 15, 2022
I am so grateful for this book. My part of the adoption triad is an adoptive mother. I’ve known I wanted to adopt for most of my life, but I never had any idea of the additional challenges that would bring to parenting. For the past two years I’ve been worrying about and striving so hard to prevent further traumatizing my children. Brittany’s practical advice comes from her personal experience, and the wisdom she has from devoting herself to being a lifelong learner. I really appreciate the voices of adoptees in the books. I’ve been reading some adoptee blogs and so many stories and feelings they share are heart-wrenching. I finally feel like I can take what I’ve learned from this book and stop WORRYING about messing up and DO something to promote positive racial identity in my sons and give each of my children space to feel/say/question whatever they need. I plan on reading this one multiple times! I hope others in my circle - family, friends, church, community - will read this book as well so my kids can grow up being affirmed, celebrated, and supported.
April 12, 2022
Brittany Salmon weaves together personal stories with research and best practices, all through the lens of scripture and the Gospel. The information is direct and practical, but also beautifully honors and advocates for all members of the adoption triad throughout. Highly recommend It Takes More Than Love for all cross-cultural adoptive families (and their friends and families)!
May 8, 2022
There are so many challenges for adoptive parents, but especially when they cross racial boundaries. I admire those who dedicate so much time, love, and learning. I can’t even imagine the effort it takes to balance it all.
In It Takes More Than Love Brittany Salmon not only reveals her personal experience with transracial adoption, but also serves as a guide to others to help them avoid potential snares. She paints a picture of what adoption looks like and how to re-set and navigate difficulties.
Each chapter is easy to read, closing with thought-provoking questions. I was especially moved by the “Adoptee Voice” sections throughout the book, in which adoptees share their personal experiences of being adopted outside of their race. These voices opened my eyes and touched me deeply. Reading this book can do the same for any reader, whether involved with adoption or not.
Disclosure: #CoverLoverBookReview received a complimentary copy of this book.
#MPNews
In It Takes More Than Love Brittany Salmon not only reveals her personal experience with transracial adoption, but also serves as a guide to others to help them avoid potential snares. She paints a picture of what adoption looks like and how to re-set and navigate difficulties.
Each chapter is easy to read, closing with thought-provoking questions. I was especially moved by the “Adoptee Voice” sections throughout the book, in which adoptees share their personal experiences of being adopted outside of their race. These voices opened my eyes and touched me deeply. Reading this book can do the same for any reader, whether involved with adoption or not.
Disclosure: #CoverLoverBookReview received a complimentary copy of this book.
#MPNews
July 4, 2023
Read this as part of the “12 book recommendations from 12 friends” challenge. Although adoption doesn’t directly impact my family, I’m still so glad to have read it. I learned a LOT and can imagine it being super helpful for prospective adoptive and adoptive families, as well as those who love them.
March 22, 2024
Adoption has been a part of our lives for a long time so we have been through a lot of the ins and outs that this book explains. I would say this is a great practical book for those either looking into adoption or just beginning the process. I like her perspective and her conclusions. A nice, easy read as well.
May 6, 2022
Brittany did an excellent job explaining the complexities of adoption and honoring the adoption triad. This is a book I wish I would have had 7 years ago when we dove into the adoption world. I will be sharing this book with anyone I know that is considering adoption.
March 17, 2024
This book is full of educational nuggets about adoption and the impact of families and communities. It brought awareness to transcultural and transracial adoption and how to engage in beneficial ways to honor birth families and adoptees.
June 16, 2024
This…was not great (more of a 2.5 star rating rounded up). The author seems awfully fragile and like someone you would want to avoid engaging in conversation, least she correct or “educate” you on some innocuous comment. Often times my notes contained simply 🙄 or 🤪 to her over emphasis on these issues, or to her suggestion that we look for opportunities to gift her book to others.🙄
In terms of her content, she did have some decent nuggets of information regarding cultural appreciation and showing sensitivity. However these issues are well covered by other authors that cover adoption and in a better fashion. Moreover since the authors children appear to still be quite young, the advice seems somewhat hollow until the level of success in her recommended techniques can be fully measured once her children are grown.
On the plus side, I did appreciate her inclusion of cross cultural adoption stories from the adoptee perspective and how there were some concepts in the book that tracked with their life experience.
In terms of her content, she did have some decent nuggets of information regarding cultural appreciation and showing sensitivity. However these issues are well covered by other authors that cover adoption and in a better fashion. Moreover since the authors children appear to still be quite young, the advice seems somewhat hollow until the level of success in her recommended techniques can be fully measured once her children are grown.
On the plus side, I did appreciate her inclusion of cross cultural adoption stories from the adoptee perspective and how there were some concepts in the book that tracked with their life experience.
May 11, 2022
This book is incredibly well-written and insightful. The author shares from her experiences as a cross-cultural adoptive parent, includes testimonials from adoptees throughout the book, and shares practical and spiritual advice for Christian parents who have adopted or are planning to adopt. The book also includes a chapter directed to people supporting adoptive families.
It would be easy for this book to be negative, shaming, or fear-mongering, but it is full of grace and encouragement, addressing both the joy and inherent trauma in adoption without elevating one as the only thing that matters. I particularly appreciated the author's encouragement for people who feel guilty over their past mistakes to simply do better in the future, without beating themselves up over it or thinking that they have ruined their children's lives. She does a great job of emphasizing a growth mindset and sharing about the highs and lows of her life.
She also does this without oversharing about her adopted children's stories, or sharing too much private information about their family in general. Overall, I am extremely impressed with this book, and it hit all of the important notes without any significant missteps. I would highly recommend this to Christians involved in adoption and foster care, and because the author shares her beliefs in an authentic way that it is integral to the book without seeming like a preachy add-on, those who do not share her faith can also benefit from the content that is relevant to them.
It would be easy for this book to be negative, shaming, or fear-mongering, but it is full of grace and encouragement, addressing both the joy and inherent trauma in adoption without elevating one as the only thing that matters. I particularly appreciated the author's encouragement for people who feel guilty over their past mistakes to simply do better in the future, without beating themselves up over it or thinking that they have ruined their children's lives. She does a great job of emphasizing a growth mindset and sharing about the highs and lows of her life.
She also does this without oversharing about her adopted children's stories, or sharing too much private information about their family in general. Overall, I am extremely impressed with this book, and it hit all of the important notes without any significant missteps. I would highly recommend this to Christians involved in adoption and foster care, and because the author shares her beliefs in an authentic way that it is integral to the book without seeming like a preachy add-on, those who do not share her faith can also benefit from the content that is relevant to them.
January 28, 2023
This is the single greatest book on adoption I have read thus far. I’ve been waiting for a book that encompasses it all- from the initial trauma and brokenness adoption entails, highlights of adoptee voices, calling out where we have previously failed but in a way that sheds light/conviction and not shame, practical takeaways to grow for our adoptive children and birth families, and pursuing God’s kingdom in the world of families from every angle. Brittany does an incredible job of addressing both the tragedy and beauty of adoption and shows her readers countless practical next steps and life changes to take as we “know better then do better.” She incorporates all sides of adoption while also calling the church and adoptive communities as a whole to pursue healthier and gospel-centered practices that honor all sides of the adoptive triad. This is a vital resource for every adoptive family as well as anyone else who wants to walk alongside those involved in transracial adoptions, or really just adoption in general. Brittany, thank you thank you thank you for writing such a needed piece for the adoptive world!
February 29, 2024
This was by far the best book I’ve read regarding adoption! I learned so much from Brittany Salmon and the adoptees highlighted in this book! I love that it specifically focused on transracial adoption with practical ways to incorporate the adoptee’s culture into our family’s daily lives. My favorite part of the book was where she spoke about ways to honor all members of the adoption triad even when the situation involves severe trauma and open adoption isn’t an option.
I will be re-reading this book over and over because I know I will take something new away each time. This book will continue to be my guide on my family’s journey to successfully support and love our children. and I will recommend it to all of my friends who have adopted.
“Parenting transracially doesn’t come naturally, nor does it just happen with time. It is hard work and yet — it’s been one of the greatest blessings in our family’s life.” - Brittany Salmon
I will be re-reading this book over and over because I know I will take something new away each time. This book will continue to be my guide on my family’s journey to successfully support and love our children. and I will recommend it to all of my friends who have adopted.
“Parenting transracially doesn’t come naturally, nor does it just happen with time. It is hard work and yet — it’s been one of the greatest blessings in our family’s life.” - Brittany Salmon
October 22, 2022
My own religious trauma aside: this was good.
I picked it up because I’m trying to learn more about adoption/foster care and I saw a few transracial adoptees recommend this book. I’m not adopted but a lot of the stuff in this book matches up with things that I have heard adoptees talk about. I think based on that, it’s a good resource to start with. There is emphasis of examining your racial/national bias, discouraging negative talk of birth countries/nationalities/families, emphasis on the responsibility of the adoptive parent to really question why they want to adopt. I appreciated how the author made all these points and places the burden of responsibility on the adoptive parent. And they also emphasized that with every adoption there is loss involved. Loss of family, culture, nationality, and that complicates the relationship. Really good.
I picked it up because I’m trying to learn more about adoption/foster care and I saw a few transracial adoptees recommend this book. I’m not adopted but a lot of the stuff in this book matches up with things that I have heard adoptees talk about. I think based on that, it’s a good resource to start with. There is emphasis of examining your racial/national bias, discouraging negative talk of birth countries/nationalities/families, emphasis on the responsibility of the adoptive parent to really question why they want to adopt. I appreciated how the author made all these points and places the burden of responsibility on the adoptive parent. And they also emphasized that with every adoption there is loss involved. Loss of family, culture, nationality, and that complicates the relationship. Really good.
January 19, 2024
“Nothing can prepare you for the utter heartbreak you’ll experience when this world isn’t as safe for him as it is for you.”
Thought-provoking and deeply convicting; I’m going to recommend this read to everyone. It hit home for me over and over again as a foster mom. I cried for the brokenness that Salmon details and the racism that has affected her children, knowing the same biases will be applied to my own. Her stand for first families is inspirational, and her insistence that we honor all members of the adoptive triad as image bearers of God is gospel truth, plain and simple.
Ultimately, Salmon encourages us to work for the Lord’s kingdom to come, that it may be on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
Thought-provoking and deeply convicting; I’m going to recommend this read to everyone. It hit home for me over and over again as a foster mom. I cried for the brokenness that Salmon details and the racism that has affected her children, knowing the same biases will be applied to my own. Her stand for first families is inspirational, and her insistence that we honor all members of the adoptive triad as image bearers of God is gospel truth, plain and simple.
Ultimately, Salmon encourages us to work for the Lord’s kingdom to come, that it may be on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
November 14, 2024
This was such a good look at the hard parts of adoption/fostering (author's main focus is adoption, but a lot of the info carries over to fostering as well); about race and raising children without adding to their trauma that comes with adoption. It is very well written, and addresses the topics with grace and education rather than shame/fear/guilt. It weaves together research and personal experience of the author, without over sharing her own kids stories. It also does a good job of honoring not just the adoptive parents, but the birth parents and adoptees.
There was so much info and depth. My husband and I are still a ways out on actually fostering, but I will probably re-read this as we start a foster journey.
There was so much info and depth. My husband and I are still a ways out on actually fostering, but I will probably re-read this as we start a foster journey.
April 9, 2022
This book is a voice we need in the area of cross-cultural adoption/fostering. It tackles the complexities of adoption with both grace and honesty. The author does not give the illusion that she and her family are perfect: she is quick to point out mistakes made along the way in her own journey of cross-cultural adoption. I love the snippets from an actual adoptee sprinkled throughout the book. I think this is a great read for everyone—not just those who have adopted or are considering adopting. Great read you won’t regret!
April 26, 2022
Really recommend this book for those considering adoption, those who know someone who is/has adopted, pastors/church staff, family members…basically everyone. And not just cross cultural adoption, either. Solid Biblical perspective on how to do a really beautiful, ugly, wonderful, hard thing. And some really practical tips to hold on to, too!
February 11, 2023
The content of this book is a necessity for adoptive families and those surrounding adoptive families to understand. I found the writing, especially in the first half of the book, a bit boring and repetitive, hence the three stars. I do, however, still recommend the book. Even if you are a same-race adoptive family, there is still much you can learn from Brittany’s writing.
July 3, 2023
A really good starting point. It’s a bridge for people considering opening their home with the perspective of someone who has done it, recognized her lack of knowledge, put in the effort to learn, and is encouraging others to do the same.
November 21, 2023
This had some good insights for adoptive parents in general and those who are hoping to adopt transracially. That being said, I would have appreciated a co-author who is a person of color to speak on this topic as well.
July 8, 2025
Highly recommend to anyone considering adoption and for anyone close to someone who has adopted or is going through the process. Very eye-opening and convicting on the topics of transracial and transcultural adoptions.
April 6, 2022
I literally read the book in one day….it’s 100% a must read for anyone in or around the adoption/foster world!
April 13, 2022
Every adoptive parent should read this. It was great!
May 4, 2022
Man, I wish I had this book when I was in the adoption process! Such a solid resource for adoptive parents!
July 24, 2022
A must read for adoptive parents
February 18, 2023
A great book overall, just a bit repetitive and vague in parts
December 24, 2023
Introductory book about adoption. Some helpful moments (discussion about inadvertent racism was very good), but overall I often wished the author had gone deeper.
February 5, 2023
Read as an assignment from my pastor, to view pastoring our multi-ethic congregation like parenting a cross-cultural, adopted child. Really good, humble insight from a mom who made mistakes and once she learned, did better.
December 8, 2024
Good thoughts. I think this book should been written by transracial adoptees. It would have been so much better and helpful for adoptive moms wanting to do right by their adopted kids.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews