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The Menu: Life Without the Opposite Sex
For all of human history men and women came together to form families. It may have been common, it may have been routine, but that is what they did. Generation after generation, for all of human history, men and women formed families.
That is until now.
Because with advances in technology, incredible economic growth, a generous welfare state, and the political movement of feminism, men and women no longer need each other in order to survive. And as much as we'd like to deny it, when given the choice, men and women are empirically and increasingly choosing to be alone. By 2030 45% of marriage-age women are forecasted to be single, rendering a same percent of men equally so. 70% of both men and women are overweight, indicating little serious interest in attracting a mate. Marriage ranks 5th place on women's priority list. And 1 in 3 marrying-age men live with their parents. And all that with crippling college debt that makes having a family a luxury most will never afford.
But the solution is not to reverse or somehow undo the forces that got us here. Those political, economic, and sociological forces are simply unstoppable. Marriage is not coming back, certainly not in your lifetime. The solution is to give up hope. The solution is to stoically accept this fate. Because whether you'd like to admit it or not, only 1 in every 2 of you are going to get married (and only 1 in 8 of you who do will be happy!). And thus the real risk you face is not “never getting married” or “never having a family,” but wasting your one and preciously-short life pursuing something that is statistically unlikely to happen.
Unfortunately, this dark reality leaves half the population in an existential lurch. Without family, marriage, love, or a loving spouse, what do people have to live for in life? You are here after all, and you have to do something with your 80 years of consciousness on this planet. So unless you're going to kill yourself, your existence forces you to find a purpose and reason to live. You cannot merely “exist.” And so, most people today and into the future are faced with the arduous task of finding purpose and meaning in life, absent the opposite sex.
Thus, “The Menu.”
Though humanity has never been to the point where women and men abandoned one another before, that doesn't mean there is not a limitless number of things life offers that gives it value. Whether it's hobbies, vice, philosophy, religion, your career, or your friends, the world offers a limitless menu for you to choose from. A never-ending buffet of things you can do, pursue, enjoy, and become during your 80 year visit here. And while it may not be what 2 million years of genetics are screaming at you to want, it's superior to falling in love and having a family, simply because it's possible. It's at least on “The Menu.” And so you face a very simple question. Do you want to spend yet another night at home, playing video games, jerking off to porn, and downing some Mountain Dew? Do you want to drink another bottle...or two...of wine while you watch yet another Hallmark movie? Or do you want to put on your big girl panties, cowboy up, acknowledge there is no one out there for you, and make this life count as much as you possibly can?
You're going to die. There's no doubt about that. The question is if you're going to live. Order something from “The Menu.”
That is until now.
Because with advances in technology, incredible economic growth, a generous welfare state, and the political movement of feminism, men and women no longer need each other in order to survive. And as much as we'd like to deny it, when given the choice, men and women are empirically and increasingly choosing to be alone. By 2030 45% of marriage-age women are forecasted to be single, rendering a same percent of men equally so. 70% of both men and women are overweight, indicating little serious interest in attracting a mate. Marriage ranks 5th place on women's priority list. And 1 in 3 marrying-age men live with their parents. And all that with crippling college debt that makes having a family a luxury most will never afford.
But the solution is not to reverse or somehow undo the forces that got us here. Those political, economic, and sociological forces are simply unstoppable. Marriage is not coming back, certainly not in your lifetime. The solution is to give up hope. The solution is to stoically accept this fate. Because whether you'd like to admit it or not, only 1 in every 2 of you are going to get married (and only 1 in 8 of you who do will be happy!). And thus the real risk you face is not “never getting married” or “never having a family,” but wasting your one and preciously-short life pursuing something that is statistically unlikely to happen.
Unfortunately, this dark reality leaves half the population in an existential lurch. Without family, marriage, love, or a loving spouse, what do people have to live for in life? You are here after all, and you have to do something with your 80 years of consciousness on this planet. So unless you're going to kill yourself, your existence forces you to find a purpose and reason to live. You cannot merely “exist.” And so, most people today and into the future are faced with the arduous task of finding purpose and meaning in life, absent the opposite sex.
Thus, “The Menu.”
Though humanity has never been to the point where women and men abandoned one another before, that doesn't mean there is not a limitless number of things life offers that gives it value. Whether it's hobbies, vice, philosophy, religion, your career, or your friends, the world offers a limitless menu for you to choose from. A never-ending buffet of things you can do, pursue, enjoy, and become during your 80 year visit here. And while it may not be what 2 million years of genetics are screaming at you to want, it's superior to falling in love and having a family, simply because it's possible. It's at least on “The Menu.” And so you face a very simple question. Do you want to spend yet another night at home, playing video games, jerking off to porn, and downing some Mountain Dew? Do you want to drink another bottle...or two...of wine while you watch yet another Hallmark movie? Or do you want to put on your big girl panties, cowboy up, acknowledge there is no one out there for you, and make this life count as much as you possibly can?
You're going to die. There's no doubt about that. The question is if you're going to live. Order something from “The Menu.”
90 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 5, 2022
73 people are currently reading
156 people want to read
About the author
Aaron Clarey
28 books169 followersAaron Clarey is an American blogger, author, and financial consultant.
A self-described "asshole", he is known for his critical view of the U.S. system of higher education, as well as his disdain for feminism.
A self-described "asshole", he is known for his critical view of the U.S. system of higher education, as well as his disdain for feminism.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
May 28, 2022
I was looking for a book that might be inspiring and helpful as a single person in today's world. This book isn't it. I mean, maybe, his advice is good if you're in your early to mid 20s but I'm much past a lot of what he writes about.
Take ownership of your life.
Don't be passive. Be active. Hoping doesn't start anything.
Get your finances together.
Clean your home.
Take care of your health.
It's all good advice but it's nothing I haven't read before or learned on my own. Do what you like doing that are a positive in your life. New opportunities, ideas, and other things will flow from that essentially.
The book lacked any sort of focus on what is causing these societal problems between men and women and how we can improve it. It only promoted a passive acceptance and how to just live within. Then again the author had stated he didn't intend on addressing this.
I didn't really take to his advice about going out into the world and travel all around until you find the "right place" to live. It didn't sound like very realistic advice. Some of us don't have the economic resources to find this place. Some people have to just deal with what they have or can afford. Not to mention travel is hard to do right now in 2022. Also, he says having friends are important, but doesn't really specify what kinds of people to look for. I've hung around people I thought were friends but were actually pushing me down rather than lifting me up to be a better person.
The second half of the book is just a lazy rehash for padding of the first part. The female part didn't have much to it compared to the male part of the book. Maybe he should have cut it out entirely?
On another topic, I found the way the author wrote... Off putting. He's not advocating nihilism but it feels like a sort of nihilism or even hedonism in some respects to sex and enjoying life. Then again I could be wrong. By the way he writes he just "knows" all males want to sleep and have a ton of women. I'm probably not his core audience because I've never really had such a strong desire. The advice he writes about is repackaged Stoicism lite. I encountered a similar kind of repacking when I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. Ironically enough, this book appears in his (short) recommendations list.
I looked into the author's other books and their reviews and a little bit about his background too. And I think reading this guy's material is something that won't benefit me much if at all. He gives some general bits and pieces but doesn't elaborate at all on anything. For the amount of material he covered. The price wasn't worth it.
Take ownership of your life.
Don't be passive. Be active. Hoping doesn't start anything.
Get your finances together.
Clean your home.
Take care of your health.
It's all good advice but it's nothing I haven't read before or learned on my own. Do what you like doing that are a positive in your life. New opportunities, ideas, and other things will flow from that essentially.
The book lacked any sort of focus on what is causing these societal problems between men and women and how we can improve it. It only promoted a passive acceptance and how to just live within. Then again the author had stated he didn't intend on addressing this.
I didn't really take to his advice about going out into the world and travel all around until you find the "right place" to live. It didn't sound like very realistic advice. Some of us don't have the economic resources to find this place. Some people have to just deal with what they have or can afford. Not to mention travel is hard to do right now in 2022. Also, he says having friends are important, but doesn't really specify what kinds of people to look for. I've hung around people I thought were friends but were actually pushing me down rather than lifting me up to be a better person.
The second half of the book is just a lazy rehash for padding of the first part. The female part didn't have much to it compared to the male part of the book. Maybe he should have cut it out entirely?
On another topic, I found the way the author wrote... Off putting. He's not advocating nihilism but it feels like a sort of nihilism or even hedonism in some respects to sex and enjoying life. Then again I could be wrong. By the way he writes he just "knows" all males want to sleep and have a ton of women. I'm probably not his core audience because I've never really had such a strong desire. The advice he writes about is repackaged Stoicism lite. I encountered a similar kind of repacking when I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. Ironically enough, this book appears in his (short) recommendations list.
I looked into the author's other books and their reviews and a little bit about his background too. And I think reading this guy's material is something that won't benefit me much if at all. He gives some general bits and pieces but doesn't elaborate at all on anything. For the amount of material he covered. The price wasn't worth it.
July 14, 2022
Well I have to say a very good book. I have accepted. Never going to get married and I have to stay in the best help as I get older. I think every one who is single should read this book.
June 18, 2022
Все повече хора избират да си живеят живота без да се обвързват сериозно. Арън Клери се опитва да постави някаква систематична идеологическа и практическа основа на това, като му се получава, да речем, умерено.
Ясно е, че с тая книга той цели да привлече женска аудитория главно, защото мъжката той си я има и останалите му книги са за нея. Нещата които пише обаче са практически еднакви и за двата пола.
Това, разбира се ще се хареса на жените, които обичат да четат неща, които ги кара да се чувстват добре, пред болезнени истини. Точно затова женските книги са за "самопомощ" и в тях най-честата дума е "ти заслужаваш", докато мъжките книги са за "самоусъвършенстване" и в тян най-честата дума е "ти трябва".
Проблемът в цялата работа със самотното живеене е, че то много по-добре се удава на мъжете в по-късна възраст, които, по мои наблюдения успяват да намерят смисъл на живота в кариеризма и хобитата си, докато неомъжените/бездетни жени (че даже и тия които имат деца но не са близки с тях и не бавят внуци) много често просто изтерясват по всякакви начини - депресии/тревожности/неврози, защото смисълът на живота им е много повече свързан със семейството и хората около тях.
Което авторът някак пропуска да спомене, докато обяснява как да намираш удоволствие и смисъл в бурната младост, работата, хобитата си и в самоусъвършенстване... което жените могат да правят, докато не станат на 40 и не установят, че кората им за яйца е празна, но подсъзнанието им крещи ДЕЦА СЕГА!!! (както е казал поетът: many such cases!).
Ясно е, че с тая книга той цели да привлече женска аудитория главно, защото мъжката той си я има и останалите му книги са за нея. Нещата които пише обаче са практически еднакви и за двата пола.
Това, разбира се ще се хареса на жените, които обичат да четат неща, които ги кара да се чувстват добре, пред болезнени истини. Точно затова женските книги са за "самопомощ" и в тях най-честата дума е "ти заслужаваш", докато мъжките книги са за "самоусъвършенстване" и в тян най-честата дума е "ти трябва".
Проблемът в цялата работа със самотното живеене е, че то много по-добре се удава на мъжете в по-късна възраст, които, по мои наблюдения успяват да намерят смисъл на живота в кариеризма и хобитата си, докато неомъжените/бездетни жени (че даже и тия които имат деца но не са близки с тях и не бавят внуци) много често просто изтерясват по всякакви начини - депресии/тревожности/неврози, защото смисълът на живота им е много повече свързан със семейството и хората около тях.
Което авторът някак пропуска да спомене, докато обяснява как да намираш удоволствие и смисъл в бурната младост, работата, хобитата си и в самоусъвършенстване... което жените могат да правят, докато не станат на 40 и не установят, че кората им за яйца е празна, но подсъзнанието им крещи ДЕЦА СЕГА!!! (както е казал поетът: many such cases!).
November 24, 2022
I agree with most on this book
Only thing I disagree is on men attending university or college for a degree on whatever. I'm a high honor bachelor accountant who wasted 5 and half years for nothing. Women are all over professionally speaking. They can't just lead anything, don't have the nerves and if you get lucky after interview will end up fired or quitting. My experience guys
Only thing I disagree is on men attending university or college for a degree on whatever. I'm a high honor bachelor accountant who wasted 5 and half years for nothing. Women are all over professionally speaking. They can't just lead anything, don't have the nerves and if you get lucky after interview will end up fired or quitting. My experience guys
May 18, 2022
a decent read for people who either do not plan future with an SO because they do not want it, or they cannot have it.
A bunch of decent advice on how to lead a meaningful single life. Some of it may be a bit generic, but might give you a few ideas you haven't considered.
A bunch of decent advice on how to lead a meaningful single life. Some of it may be a bit generic, but might give you a few ideas you haven't considered.
March 21, 2023
A bit nihilist for my taste, but Clarey does have a great capacity for the kick-in-the-ass that many people seem to need (including myself). As with his other books (and indeed, as he advises in the book itself), a good source for cherry-picking, discard the rest. Worth the read.
June 8, 2022
Stoicism at it's urgency!
Basically, it's never too late to work on projects and stuff you wanna do. It's rhetorical to think you can do things, so give it a whack.
Basically, it's never too late to work on projects and stuff you wanna do. It's rhetorical to think you can do things, so give it a whack.
November 3, 2022
Grim
could have just as easily been entitled “Learning to Live With Being Eternally Broke”. alternatives to happiness ain’t usually too much fun.
could have just as easily been entitled “Learning to Live With Being Eternally Broke”. alternatives to happiness ain’t usually too much fun.
January 7, 2023
Worthwhile reading.
For men and women.
You like it you don’t like it the writing is on the wall and understanding the givens will make a difference how you view and deal with life.
For men and women.
You like it you don’t like it the writing is on the wall and understanding the givens will make a difference how you view and deal with life.
October 6, 2023
It’s a raw, eye-opening read that speaks uncomfortable truths, urging us to find purpose in new ways. A must-read for those brave enough to face reality.
December 16, 2023
This book presents concepts people can use if they don’t have a significant other.
January 4, 2025
Finish it this morning. This book had so many bangers. It literally gives you so much ideas on things to do. Thanks to Aaron Clarey
040125 - I read this book again and now that i’m in a different position with my life, it just gave me so many ideas again! Especially with travelling
040125 - I read this book again and now that i’m in a different position with my life, it just gave me so many ideas again! Especially with travelling
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews