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The Lord Is My Courage: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love
Walking through Psalm 23 phrase by phrase, therapist and author K.J. Ramsey explores the landscape of our fear, trauma, and faith. When she stepped through her own wilderness of spiritual abuse and religious trauma, K.J. discovered that courage is not the absence of anxiety but the practice of trusting we will be held and loved no matter what.
How can we cultivate courage when fear overshadows our lives? How do we hear the Voice of Love when hate and harm shout loud? This book offers an honest path to finding that there is still a Good Shepherd who is always following you. Braiding contemplative storytelling, theological reflection, and practical neuroscience, Ramsey reveals a route into connection and joy that begins right where you are.
The Lord is My Courage is for the deconstructing and the dreamers, the afraid and the amazed, for those whose fear has not been fully shepherded but who can't seem to stop listening for their Good Shepherd's Voice.
How can we cultivate courage when fear overshadows our lives? How do we hear the Voice of Love when hate and harm shout loud? This book offers an honest path to finding that there is still a Good Shepherd who is always following you. Braiding contemplative storytelling, theological reflection, and practical neuroscience, Ramsey reveals a route into connection and joy that begins right where you are.
The Lord is My Courage is for the deconstructing and the dreamers, the afraid and the amazed, for those whose fear has not been fully shepherded but who can't seem to stop listening for their Good Shepherd's Voice.
293 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 21, 2022
425 people are currently reading
3105 people want to read
About the author
K.J. Ramsey
3 books904 followersK.J. Ramsey is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor and author whose work offers space to see every part of our souls and stories as sacred. She holds degrees from Covenant College and Denver Seminary and is the author of This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers and The Lord is My Courage: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love. K.J. writes at the intersection of theology, psychology, and spiritual formation to guide us in recovering the rhythm of resilience through nervous system regulation and the wonder of communion with God. She and her husband Ryan, along with their two exceptionally cuddly dogs, Merton and Resa, live near Denver, Colorado where K.J. listens for the liturgy of life in wildflowers, sunsets, sorrow, and church. Connect with her online at kjramsey.com and across social media @kjramseywrites.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 277 reviews
April 22, 2022
Sure, I know this author *pretty* well, but I’d say this is worth the read and the [likely] ensuing tears. 😉
December 8, 2022
To be honest, there was some of this book that I struggled with. But to continue in honestly, I probably should struggle. The reality of what this book discusses should provoke me and unsettle me as I consider the ways I participate in the harm this book describes.
There was another part of me that wanted this book to be a tool for those who are ignorant of the harm they perpetrate. The world that curates these destructive practices is full of complexities and nuances. Navigating them will be tricky as we try and learn how to do better. But this book isn’t for that audience; it’s for those people who have endured these abusive realities.
Because of this, we need a thousand other books like it. We need so many other stories told and experiences shared. This isn’t about the nuances and other hang-ups that trip me up in these conversations. This is about having the conversations until these tragic stories of abuse and trauma quit happening with such regularity. In fact, maybe this book IS the very resource we need to be better. Maybe a part of us fixing this mess is really listening to and caring (actually caring) about these stories. There will need to be other tools and books, but books like this are a part of the solution too.
Ramsey shares the story of her friends and family as they struggle(d) to process and respond to traumatic faith experiences and dysfunctional faith community. These experiences are still far too common and we have some serious work to do as we consider perspectives like hers. The book is more of an affirmation, an encouragement, and a guide for those experiencing similar things, not a critical indictment of the systemic problems themselves.
Ramsey uses each word and phrase of the twenty-third Psalm to guide a three-part journey, and her greatest strengths show up when she is speaking of the science or from her expertise as a therapist. By the third part of the book, I was drawn into what I thought were deeply meaningful reflections and wonderful writing.
There was another part of me that wanted this book to be a tool for those who are ignorant of the harm they perpetrate. The world that curates these destructive practices is full of complexities and nuances. Navigating them will be tricky as we try and learn how to do better. But this book isn’t for that audience; it’s for those people who have endured these abusive realities.
Because of this, we need a thousand other books like it. We need so many other stories told and experiences shared. This isn’t about the nuances and other hang-ups that trip me up in these conversations. This is about having the conversations until these tragic stories of abuse and trauma quit happening with such regularity. In fact, maybe this book IS the very resource we need to be better. Maybe a part of us fixing this mess is really listening to and caring (actually caring) about these stories. There will need to be other tools and books, but books like this are a part of the solution too.
Ramsey shares the story of her friends and family as they struggle(d) to process and respond to traumatic faith experiences and dysfunctional faith community. These experiences are still far too common and we have some serious work to do as we consider perspectives like hers. The book is more of an affirmation, an encouragement, and a guide for those experiencing similar things, not a critical indictment of the systemic problems themselves.
Ramsey uses each word and phrase of the twenty-third Psalm to guide a three-part journey, and her greatest strengths show up when she is speaking of the science or from her expertise as a therapist. By the third part of the book, I was drawn into what I thought were deeply meaningful reflections and wonderful writing.
November 15, 2022
As an individual having grown up in a less than ideal church environment, this is easily one of the most healing and refreshing books I’ve ever read. It tackles the really tough topic of religious trauma (but in a redemptive and hope filled way :)). I will be rereading this, and I cannot recommend it enough if you are someone who comes from a spiritual background of scarcity (KJ defines this as places where there are high expectations to be met in order to maintain a place at God’s table). Trust me, if you’re this person, many obscure things and triggers will suddenly make sense to you! Through the book, KJ goes word by word through Psalm 23 and ties in her own story of spiritual abuse and her own journey towards restoring her identity as a courageous person. She also brings up time and time again the crazy graciousness and mercy of the Good Shepherd, and gives good guidelines towards seeing Him through the haze of misleading spiritual leaders. I loved that it’s not another fluffy self-help book; it’s very obvious that KJ has done a lot of research on the topic and she includes many references to both Hebrew and Greek scholars, theologians, physiologists, and neologists.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
March 12, 2023
2.5 stars rounding up.
There is a very important message in this book, but it could have been delivered in a paragraph or at most two. It feels like I read someone's journal. I'm sure it was therapeutic for the author, but it was very repetitive for the reader.
There is a very important message in this book, but it could have been delivered in a paragraph or at most two. It feels like I read someone's journal. I'm sure it was therapeutic for the author, but it was very repetitive for the reader.
September 20, 2023
Over the past few months, I have read, treasured, and wrestled with every word of this book (3 times over). It has been a sweet vessel by which the Lord has brought healing and camaraderie into my life in this season. KJ’s words are like salve to the soul…
Psalm 23 has been a scripture that the Lord has cared for me through over the past 1.5 years & KJ has brought the words of this Psalm to live in many fresh ways in this book through cultural context, cross-references to other scripture, structural analysis, psychological/physiological research, and her own person stories. I highly, highly recommend this book.
Psalm 23 has been a scripture that the Lord has cared for me through over the past 1.5 years & KJ has brought the words of this Psalm to live in many fresh ways in this book through cultural context, cross-references to other scripture, structural analysis, psychological/physiological research, and her own person stories. I highly, highly recommend this book.
July 12, 2022
10 out of 5 stars… I cannot recommend it enough. A balm for a wounded and rejected sheep... me. I think that a few parts are leaning a bit towards some triggering ways of speaking for me (the scripture has been used all my life as a cover for sin and blame shifting to me so at times it is setting off warning alarms) but I mention it because it is written in a large part to help those spiritual abused know they are wrapped in God's love even if the church (and those called family or friends) turns their back... so I just set the book down and picked it up again when I was regulated and read on... and her words always came around to reminding me that to the Good Shepherd I will always, always have great value. Read it, read it, read it! You will not be sorry!
June 24, 2022
If trauma, abuse, deep grief, anxiety or depression have been a part of your story - I highly recommend this book. The author walks through Psalm 23 phrase by phrase in light of the darkest parts of life.
Her writing feels like a balm for the soul. Science is melded with Scripture and the hope of our Good Shepherd is evident throughout the pages.
The chapters are short so it’s a great book to take little by little. I will definitely be reading this again! A strong ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me.
Her writing feels like a balm for the soul. Science is melded with Scripture and the hope of our Good Shepherd is evident throughout the pages.
The chapters are short so it’s a great book to take little by little. I will definitely be reading this again! A strong ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me.
September 8, 2022
Spiritual abuse is real. Wolves in shepherds’ clothing are real. But the Good Shepherd is greater.
This book walks the reader through the familiar words and phrases of Psalm 23 and applies it to how Christ ministers to his children who have been harmed by spiritual abuse. From the perspective of a counselor, KJ Ramsey addresses how our bodies, including our nervous system, are affected by abuse and ways to bring wholeness to every part of ourselves. As a spiritual abuse survivor, she brings firsthand experience of the pain and anguish from this sort of betrayal and how God led her and her husband out of harm’s way to healing.
This was an affirming book and validated much of my own experience. This was also a comforting book. It was good to be reminded that Jesus is with us in the hard and dark places because he went there himself.
This book walks the reader through the familiar words and phrases of Psalm 23 and applies it to how Christ ministers to his children who have been harmed by spiritual abuse. From the perspective of a counselor, KJ Ramsey addresses how our bodies, including our nervous system, are affected by abuse and ways to bring wholeness to every part of ourselves. As a spiritual abuse survivor, she brings firsthand experience of the pain and anguish from this sort of betrayal and how God led her and her husband out of harm’s way to healing.
This was an affirming book and validated much of my own experience. This was also a comforting book. It was good to be reminded that Jesus is with us in the hard and dark places because he went there himself.
May 22, 2022
This is a book, yes, and a well-written one at that. It’s also: an invitation to better understand Psalm 23, a gift to those who have experienced abuse, and a reminder that even in the wilderness you are never alone. By sharing moments from her own story, K.J. Ramsey invites the reader to consider how the Good Shepherd has been with them all along.
January 28, 2023
I honestly cannot recommend this book enough. It is rich, helpful, clarifying and full of the love of Christ as the Good Shepherd whose grace hounds us. It was the right book for me at the right time. And one I may have to read again and again. It was an water in the wilderness and hope in the hard and grace in the grief.
February 3, 2023
This book is a must read and I’ll probably put on the reread list. In my current season (not dealing with the same story) this gave me some healing but also hope for the next. Im learning to listen to my body more because it’s trying to tell me things but I’m not always willing to hear or work through the hard things.
January 9, 2024
If you’ve had a Christian hurt you and you wonder where Jesus is in the pain, this book is for you. K.J. allows you to process and deconstruct with out losing your faith.
You can have Jesus and recover too. A favorite quote for me was this, “If we know God is with us, we don’t need a powerful person’s approval to feel secure.”
You can have Jesus and recover too. A favorite quote for me was this, “If we know God is with us, we don’t need a powerful person’s approval to feel secure.”
July 15, 2022
As a therapist, this book has profoundly impacted me and my practice. It's given me deeper language to talk about trauma, pain, and emotions in the context of the gospel with clients who are believers. I am forever grateful for the way KJ has woven psychology and neurobiology into spiritual formation in a way that is extremely helpful and informative.
As a person, it has been truly healing for my own soul and heart. A few years ago my husband pastored at a church where we experienced significant spiritual abuse. He was fired and we were left reeling and in pain. This book has been a balm as we are on the healing journey. It has allowed to continue walking in courage and belovedness. I found myself crying at many different points throughout the book as concepts and truths hit deep and truly met me somewhere that has seemed inaccessible. I could go on and on and on.
As a person, it has been truly healing for my own soul and heart. A few years ago my husband pastored at a church where we experienced significant spiritual abuse. He was fired and we were left reeling and in pain. This book has been a balm as we are on the healing journey. It has allowed to continue walking in courage and belovedness. I found myself crying at many different points throughout the book as concepts and truths hit deep and truly met me somewhere that has seemed inaccessible. I could go on and on and on.
September 30, 2023
DNF! I made it 2/3 of the way through this book. I waffled between 2 or 3 stars. I gave it 3 because of the first few chapters. I'm going to try to be balanced in this but I had some pretty strong opinions and not all of them positive.
Pros:
-In the first half of this book there are NUMEROUS pages I have dog eared and sentences I have underlined. Many bite sized quotes that have spoken to me directly and have illuminated just how gentle our Savior is to His flock.
-She shares her story of pain at the hands of pastors/people in the Church without being derogatory or degrading.
-She made me interested in learning more about the autonomic nervous system.
Cons:
-Many of the quotes I underlined and found so inspiring where not written by K.J herself.
-Highly under sourced, she repeatedly cited the same book ALL over. She also cited her other books which I found undermined her points. I recommend reading the books she cited herself. I bought myself and will plan on reading next "The Good Shepherd" by Kenneth Bailey for an in-depth, more detailed and I think authentic look at the theme of shepherding in Scripture.
-Good writing shouldn't draw attention to itself. It should be so good that you don't even notice it but only see the picture or point its trying to show you. I couldn't finish this book because her writing got in the way and I got too tired trying to see the point around the words. Her egregious overuse of alliteration was as astounding as it was annoying.
-I stopped reading when on her oversimplification and personification of the male/feminine dihcotomic of God. Human gender is used by God to help us in our pee brains better understand Him. We have no right to turn around and use that metaphor back at Him to tell Himself what parts of God are male and female. He is God outside of gender, but also He used male pronouns to describe Himself in Scripture and we don't have any right to change that.
-K.J would probably be very thankful that I do not relate to her story of abuse in the Church. That being said, I decided to read this book for its exegesis of Pslam 23 and a better understanding of how God in His wisdom designed our bodies not for her story of trauma peppered throughout this whole book.
In summery I found some great nuggets and things I underlined and will take away for further contemplation. A book I would not highly recommend to others myself. I would instead recommend "Gentle and Lowly" by Dane Ortlund.
As someone who has been walking through a lot of medical trauma with my child the last 6 months this is a quote that I will remember for a long time, "Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold INSIDE (emphasis mine) in the absence of an empathetic witness." I have envisioned Jesus as the empathetic shepherd witnessing both my pain and the pain I can't shield from my daughter many times as we are in the hospital.
But to prove my earlier point, KJ didn't write/say that, addiction expert Gabor Mate did.
Also it galls me to not finish a book. So this is annoying to me and probably why I choose now of all times to write the longest review of my life.
Pros:
-In the first half of this book there are NUMEROUS pages I have dog eared and sentences I have underlined. Many bite sized quotes that have spoken to me directly and have illuminated just how gentle our Savior is to His flock.
-She shares her story of pain at the hands of pastors/people in the Church without being derogatory or degrading.
-She made me interested in learning more about the autonomic nervous system.
Cons:
-Many of the quotes I underlined and found so inspiring where not written by K.J herself.
-Highly under sourced, she repeatedly cited the same book ALL over. She also cited her other books which I found undermined her points. I recommend reading the books she cited herself. I bought myself and will plan on reading next "The Good Shepherd" by Kenneth Bailey for an in-depth, more detailed and I think authentic look at the theme of shepherding in Scripture.
-Good writing shouldn't draw attention to itself. It should be so good that you don't even notice it but only see the picture or point its trying to show you. I couldn't finish this book because her writing got in the way and I got too tired trying to see the point around the words. Her egregious overuse of alliteration was as astounding as it was annoying.
-I stopped reading when on her oversimplification and personification of the male/feminine dihcotomic of God. Human gender is used by God to help us in our pee brains better understand Him. We have no right to turn around and use that metaphor back at Him to tell Himself what parts of God are male and female. He is God outside of gender, but also He used male pronouns to describe Himself in Scripture and we don't have any right to change that.
-K.J would probably be very thankful that I do not relate to her story of abuse in the Church. That being said, I decided to read this book for its exegesis of Pslam 23 and a better understanding of how God in His wisdom designed our bodies not for her story of trauma peppered throughout this whole book.
In summery I found some great nuggets and things I underlined and will take away for further contemplation. A book I would not highly recommend to others myself. I would instead recommend "Gentle and Lowly" by Dane Ortlund.
As someone who has been walking through a lot of medical trauma with my child the last 6 months this is a quote that I will remember for a long time, "Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold INSIDE (emphasis mine) in the absence of an empathetic witness." I have envisioned Jesus as the empathetic shepherd witnessing both my pain and the pain I can't shield from my daughter many times as we are in the hospital.
But to prove my earlier point, KJ didn't write/say that, addiction expert Gabor Mate did.
Also it galls me to not finish a book. So this is annoying to me and probably why I choose now of all times to write the longest review of my life.
January 16, 2024
There were some really encouraging thoughts in this book. But also some theological ideas I couldn’t quite get behind.
July 9, 2022
I slowly drank in every word of this and can’t think of a book that has ministered to my heart more profoundly in this season. I highly recommend to, yes, anyone who has experienced “church hurt” or religious wounding. But also, to those who want to grow in empathy for the many in your pews (or not) who have. Thanks K.J.- this book is a much needed gift and breath of fresh air.
June 11, 2022
This book impacted me profoundly after my own experience of spiritual abuse. However, I think anyone who has experienced pain or harm at the hands of another in particular would really identify and glean from this story. It is not only about the author’s story of living through spiritual abuse, but how God met her in the midst of darkness and brokenness and pain. There is a deep theological element as she dives into each phrase of Psalm 23 that caused me to see truths in this familiar psalm that I was not aware of before. It also dives into neuroscience and an awareness of the effects of trauma and stress on our bodies. A lot of this was new insight for me as well and very freeing as I became aware of my own physiological response to trauma. Highly recommend.
June 20, 2022
This book is excellent! The short chapters are so power packed with compassion and truth, you'll walk away feeling so seen and safely held. The author's wisdom and personal experiences allow her to communicate such needed grace and perspective that anyone will benefit from, but will be especially life-giving to those who have been wounded in similar ways-those who've experienced disappointment or betrayal in/from their faith communities, other believers, or their own bodies. There's also such practical therapist advice here-information about dysregulation, polyvagal theory, and responding to stress and anxiety. A gold mine!
February 10, 2023
I received an ARC of this book.
An incredible read all the way through. I’ve struggled with chronic illness for years and clung to Psalm 23 while navigating the unexpected journey, but this breakdown of the psalm went beyond my expectations. While personal anecdotes sprinkled in may not be specific to each of our situations, I think everyone can relate in some capacity. I’ve recommended this to my entire family!
An incredible read all the way through. I’ve struggled with chronic illness for years and clung to Psalm 23 while navigating the unexpected journey, but this breakdown of the psalm went beyond my expectations. While personal anecdotes sprinkled in may not be specific to each of our situations, I think everyone can relate in some capacity. I’ve recommended this to my entire family!
November 10, 2023
This book has sort of left me speechless. Her trauma-based healing teaching has taught me so much and I’m incredibly grateful. I took my time through each chapter because her truth needed to sink in. Amazing work that will live on and should be taught widely! I will be doing a podcast on this for sure.
February 16, 2023
Not as good as This Too Shall Last but this book is still worth reading if you have church hurt. Read it with a dose of discernment though because there are some theological issues in her beliefs in a few spots.
May 1, 2024
Adding this to top five of my favorite books. This book is so good and I must read! It completely transformed my view of the Lord and how he walks with us and is a shepherd in the midst of pain as someone was significant trauma this book is a top recommend. You’ll begin to view the Lord in the midst of your pain and how he is sovereign and seeking you out I 10 out of 10 recommend.
October 2, 2022
I went to school with KJ and have been deeply impacted by her story over the years & both of her books. I’m grateful for the light she shines on church abuse, trauma and suffering - it has moved me deeply. I’ve used this book and her first (This Too Shall Last) as accompaniments to my own healing journey. Thank you, KJ, for the words and wisdom you’ve shared!
September 1, 2022
This book was a balm and joy to read. I did not know the author before reading, but I am adding K.J. Ramsey to my short list of authors whose voice is unusually able to pierce through pain, gently find the hidden, hurting parts of my soul, and love them slowly into the the light. Thank you, K.J., for sharing your story with vulnerability, hard truth, and even harder compassion. Your words are a gift I will return to often.
June 5, 2024
Ramsey walks through the words and phrases of Psalm 23 to talk about courage and fear and faith and love. This is a very honest, real book in which she talks about her experience of spiritual abuse and the aftermath and healing process. It also contains lessons she has learned from being a therapist about how the brain and body work, how stress works, and how to calm anxiety.
October 2, 2022
I wish there was a way to rate this higher than 5 stars. Thank you KJ Ramsey for allowing us the chance to bear witness to your story and to learn alongside you as you walk though dark places and into the love of our Good Shepherd. I am blessed. I am soothed. I am grateful.
August 15, 2024
Lots of really rich truths within but I sometimes got distracted by her writing style. It felt repetitive and a little flowery at times. Her message and heart shines through despite those distractions. I would recommend to someone who needs to see that God deeply cares and sees their story and pain.
August 9, 2022
I love the author’s writing voice and deeply appreciate what she has to say. This book was exactly what my soul needed for my current season of life, and I believe would apply to many other seasons as well. The Church needs more brave voices like KJ Ramsey.
January 23, 2023
I love this author and the gracious space she offers in her writing and online presence. Hearing about her journey of experiencing, realizing, leaving, grieving, and healing from (in differing orders at times I’m sure) spiritual abuse feels like an honor observe. I prefer to listen audiobooks and KJ’s voice and thoughts feel like a safe space to hear about God when my nervous system isn’t otherwise able to hear the goodness in the good news.
September 12, 2022
Magical interweaving of theology, psychology, and memoir, with a focus on spiritual abuse through the lens of Psalm 23. (Only the brilliant can make that happen).
Displaying 1 - 30 of 277 reviews