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So Far, For Now
Evocative, wry and thought-provoking, this is a rewarding journey with one of our finest writers.
It is a little over a decade since Fiona Kidman wrote her last volume of memoir. But her story did not end on its last page; instead her life since has been busier than ever, filled with significant changes, new writing and fascinating journeys. From being a grandmother to becoming a widow, from the suitcase-existence of book festivals to researching the lives and deaths of Jean Batten and Albert Black, she has found herself in new territory and viewed the familiar with fresh eyes. She takes us to Paris and Pike River, to Banff, Belfast and Bangkok, searching for houses in Hanoi and Hawera, reliving her past in Waipu and creating new memories in Otago.
These locations and experiences – among others – have shaped Fiona’s recent years, and in this lively book she shares the insights she has picked up along the way.
It is a little over a decade since Fiona Kidman wrote her last volume of memoir. But her story did not end on its last page; instead her life since has been busier than ever, filled with significant changes, new writing and fascinating journeys. From being a grandmother to becoming a widow, from the suitcase-existence of book festivals to researching the lives and deaths of Jean Batten and Albert Black, she has found herself in new territory and viewed the familiar with fresh eyes. She takes us to Paris and Pike River, to Banff, Belfast and Bangkok, searching for houses in Hanoi and Hawera, reliving her past in Waipu and creating new memories in Otago.
These locations and experiences – among others – have shaped Fiona’s recent years, and in this lively book she shares the insights she has picked up along the way.
- GenresBiography
Kindle Edition
Published March 29, 2022
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About the author
Fiona Kidman
48 books66 followersFiona Kidman is a leading contemporary novelist, short story writer and poet. Much of her fiction is focused on how outsiders navigate their way in narrowly conformist society. She has published a large and exciting range of fiction and poetry, and has worked as a librarian, producer and critic. Kidman has won numerous awards, and she has been the recipient of fellowships, grants and other significant honours, as well as being a consistent advocate for New Zealand writers and literature. She is the President of Honour for the New Zealand Book Council, and has been awarded an OBE and a Dame Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit for her services to literature.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
November 29, 2024
A thoughtful memoir written after Kidman was widowed from her husband Ian. Delving in her writing journey though This Mortal Boy, her travels and activism around Pike River, So Long For Now deftly mixes essays and memories and works very well on both fronts. As fascinating insight into this legendary author.
April 15, 2022
The subtitle of this new book of autobiography tells us everything about what to expect: “On journeys, widowhood and stories that are never over.” What it can’t say is just how moving these pages are, what a tribute and what a story. Within the first few pages you are struck by the bravery of the author. We should expect no less from Fiona Kidman, author of more than thirty books, but these are deeply personal feelings. She talks about getting older, which can mean the loss of friends and loved ones, but it can also mean the bubbling up of inner resistance:
“I can’t deny that grief doesn’t stalk us as we grow old. But there are pleasures all around. I found them in new friendships, books, my garden, the endless connections we make with one another.”
Her conclusion to the preface is the essence of what this book is about:
“Every life is extraordinary if you allow it to be. I am grateful for mine.”
The title story comes first, and is hard to read. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to write. Kidman’s husband Ian. The fall. The thud. The sound that will stay for her forever. It is a piece laden with regret; her frequent travel, time absorbed in writing and research, the delayed flight home, the unnecessary trip he made to collect her from the airport, the broken cable car and the long flight of steps. Any one of those things might have been different that day and the ending would not have been that thud.
Children and grandchildren are contacted around the globe, all begin their journeys. So too are the Buddhist monks with whom Ian had worked and volunteered in Cambodia.
“So as night turned into morning, saffron-robed men appeared and started to chant. The steady rhythm of their voices began to calm us.”
So closes a passage of 58 years together. I found it very moving.
There are several references in the book to grandparents, Kidman’s from both Scotland and Ireland, links back through cousins and old characters remembered on a Waikato farm. She talks about what it means to be a grandmother herself, and dispenses good advice about taking on such a role:
“Becoming a grandmother is nature’s way of reminding us when we are old what it is like to fall in love again.”
I like the conversational nature of what I read, the situations that lead to interesting observations and insights. How special to be running an autobiography writing class in an old Wellington pub, The Thistle Inn, which features in one of Katherine Mansfield’s stories? If that doesn’t inspire, what does? But what an interesting challenge to put to your class; five interesting things about themselves and one secret in the family.
As well as the observations there are also the linkages. The smell of citrus flowers that greeted Kidman when she arrived in the Mediterranean town of Menton to take up the Mansfield Fellowship reminded her of her mother in New Zealand’s far north, climbing lemon trees to pick the crop. One shilling and sixpence (7½ pence or fourteen cents) for each wooden box filled.
The longest section of the book concerns Albert Black, the subject of her multi-prizewinning 2018 novel This Mortal Boy. It is fascinating to read her own thoughts on what happened at the time, outside of the constraints of the novel. It is good to know that others think there was a miscarriage of justice that day. A young man should never have been hanged, but charged with manslaughter not murder. Also of interest to me was that there was a child, a descendent of Albert Black and after that there were grandchildren. A line was established, things did not end with the terrible outcome of a hanging. For some reason I draw comfort from that knowledge.
One thing that I notice several times in the book is the way that Kidman uses real places, people or incidents as episodes in her books of fiction. For example she takes the horror of being stalked by a stranger and turns it into a powerful scene of despair somewhere else, channelling her own emotions and despair into powerful fiction. It is a great learning for any writer, that although we may not experience the things that our characters do in the stories we write, we can still find experiences somewhere in our own histories which can be adapted and will bring a scene to life.
Towards the end of the book there is a section about the Pike River mining tragedy and the campaigning that Kidman and her husband did to achieve justice for those who had lost their loved ones in the disaster. It is a saga that becomes harder and harder to follow, and one in which no political party would emerge covered in glory. Most of all it feels as if no-one has ever paid the price for the terrible failure to keep workers safe.
The book wraps up with some last thoughts on widowhood and how to survive it. There will always be memories of shared times, but don’t forget there will always be the chance to create new memories.
This is a wonderful addition to Fiona Kidman’s novels and autobiography.
“I can’t deny that grief doesn’t stalk us as we grow old. But there are pleasures all around. I found them in new friendships, books, my garden, the endless connections we make with one another.”
Her conclusion to the preface is the essence of what this book is about:
“Every life is extraordinary if you allow it to be. I am grateful for mine.”
The title story comes first, and is hard to read. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to write. Kidman’s husband Ian. The fall. The thud. The sound that will stay for her forever. It is a piece laden with regret; her frequent travel, time absorbed in writing and research, the delayed flight home, the unnecessary trip he made to collect her from the airport, the broken cable car and the long flight of steps. Any one of those things might have been different that day and the ending would not have been that thud.
Children and grandchildren are contacted around the globe, all begin their journeys. So too are the Buddhist monks with whom Ian had worked and volunteered in Cambodia.
“So as night turned into morning, saffron-robed men appeared and started to chant. The steady rhythm of their voices began to calm us.”
So closes a passage of 58 years together. I found it very moving.
There are several references in the book to grandparents, Kidman’s from both Scotland and Ireland, links back through cousins and old characters remembered on a Waikato farm. She talks about what it means to be a grandmother herself, and dispenses good advice about taking on such a role:
“Becoming a grandmother is nature’s way of reminding us when we are old what it is like to fall in love again.”
I like the conversational nature of what I read, the situations that lead to interesting observations and insights. How special to be running an autobiography writing class in an old Wellington pub, The Thistle Inn, which features in one of Katherine Mansfield’s stories? If that doesn’t inspire, what does? But what an interesting challenge to put to your class; five interesting things about themselves and one secret in the family.
As well as the observations there are also the linkages. The smell of citrus flowers that greeted Kidman when she arrived in the Mediterranean town of Menton to take up the Mansfield Fellowship reminded her of her mother in New Zealand’s far north, climbing lemon trees to pick the crop. One shilling and sixpence (7½ pence or fourteen cents) for each wooden box filled.
The longest section of the book concerns Albert Black, the subject of her multi-prizewinning 2018 novel This Mortal Boy. It is fascinating to read her own thoughts on what happened at the time, outside of the constraints of the novel. It is good to know that others think there was a miscarriage of justice that day. A young man should never have been hanged, but charged with manslaughter not murder. Also of interest to me was that there was a child, a descendent of Albert Black and after that there were grandchildren. A line was established, things did not end with the terrible outcome of a hanging. For some reason I draw comfort from that knowledge.
One thing that I notice several times in the book is the way that Kidman uses real places, people or incidents as episodes in her books of fiction. For example she takes the horror of being stalked by a stranger and turns it into a powerful scene of despair somewhere else, channelling her own emotions and despair into powerful fiction. It is a great learning for any writer, that although we may not experience the things that our characters do in the stories we write, we can still find experiences somewhere in our own histories which can be adapted and will bring a scene to life.
Towards the end of the book there is a section about the Pike River mining tragedy and the campaigning that Kidman and her husband did to achieve justice for those who had lost their loved ones in the disaster. It is a saga that becomes harder and harder to follow, and one in which no political party would emerge covered in glory. Most of all it feels as if no-one has ever paid the price for the terrible failure to keep workers safe.
The book wraps up with some last thoughts on widowhood and how to survive it. There will always be memories of shared times, but don’t forget there will always be the chance to create new memories.
This is a wonderful addition to Fiona Kidman’s novels and autobiography.
October 6, 2022
Every time I read Fiona Kidman I fall in love with her all over again. It's just such an immersive experience reading her words, drawing the reader into the intimacy of her life, her innermost thoughts and her world, so revealing. This, I think, is primarily a memoir, but I don't really think it needs to be labelled a genre. She covers ageing and loss, opening the book with the tragic and unbearably sad loss of her husband Ian - one of those if I had done this instead of that, the outcome would have been quite different - a sliding doors sort of scenario. She talks about her origins - her Irish and Scottish roots, her parents, grandparents, her distant relationship with her father, her childhood homes. She writes about how to write a memoir, the life writing classes she takes. Then she shifts focus to the historical fiction she has written about Albert Black and Jean Batten, giving fascinating and insightful background into the writing of these two books. Both these lives took over her own life in their research and writing, I am in awe at how the subject of a book can take over one's life! She and Ian became deeply involved in helping the families of the Pike River mining disaster bring out the bodies of their husbands, sons, brothers and find some sort of responsibility for tragedy. There are lovely chapters on self-care, self-reflection, reconnecting with the world after huge loss. Throughout, her sense of justice and fairness pervades everything she does, her empathy and finding reasons why people do what they do are just incredible. I love it all.
June 30, 2023
This third volume of Fiona Kidman’s memoirs is not so much a memoir as a collection of essays. They range over topics such as her early life, her writing success with over 30 published books, invitations to literary festivals in New Zealand and all over the world, her activism over the Pike River Mines disaster and the meticulous research she has done for her novels. There is much to celebrate in the life she has forged for herself and in So Far For Now she does so with typical self-deprecating humour. She rose to prominence in the literary world in 1979 with the publication of her first novel, A Breed of Women at a time when male writers dominated the field in New Zealand, some of whom were scathing about her success. Dennis Glover’s famous put-down referred to her as ‘part of the menstrual school of poets’. She says that the criticism of her book was so vicious that she considered giving up writing. All these years later, with so many literary honours to her name, she is glad she didn’t. The most poignant part of the book is her account of her husband’s death in an accident and her coming to terms with her new role as a widow. The book is a fascinating overview of Fiona Kidman’s life, societal changes, and the development of publishing in this country.
August 26, 2022
An interesting read summarising a life well lived. Fiona recalls trips made for research purposes and explains how some books she’s written were based on her own experiences with names changed and people introduced to places she had the opportunity to live in. Her research into Jean Batten’s life must have been frustrating with Jean’s family not contributing in any way. I also enjoyed her research into the bodgie and Widge era when researching This Mortal Boy. I grew up in Lower Hutt and can relate to the milk bars and youthful high jinx. She has had the opportunity to travel far and wide and with friends residing in all corners of the world has experienced many countries intimately.
May 21, 2024
An excellent autobiographical book starting with the tragic death of her husband then devoting chapters to the research and writing process of many of her stories. These included Albert Black, a young Irish boy who was erroneously hung for murder, a bit of a history of Jean Batten and the politics of Pike River plus many others.
July 5, 2022
I really enjoyed Dame Fiona Kidman’s musings “on journeys, widowhood and stories that are never over “. She speaks of a life in a land that I know well and can relate to. I also heartily agree with the blurb that says “evocative, wry and thought provoking “ Love the cover of the book too!
December 15, 2022
Relatable. Really interesting reading the background insight into the books I had read.
January 10, 2023
A memoir composed of a wonderful collection of essays on a wide variety of aspects from childhood to widowhood.
September 9, 2022
I like NZ writer Fiona Kidman’s poetry and novels a lot. They are well researched , she often has a historical thing going on. Her characters’ lives have real depth even if they’re simply people going about their lives. I haven’t read her earlier autobiographies, this latest one covers her most recent years. Her husband dies quite suddenly, and she focuses a lot on the struggle and ensuing wisdom of that experience into this book. I love the Wellington setting, and remain amazed by her energy for travels around the world connected to her significant role as a famous author.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews