What do you think?
Rate this book
Hello Sleep: The Science and Art of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications
A practical and compassionate guide to repairing your relationship with sleep
For the twenty-five million Americans who struggle with insomnia, each night feels like a battle with their racing minds instead of a blissful surrender into sleep. Hello Sleep is a guide for the tired but wired people who just want sleep to be easy. Dr. Jade Wu, an internationally recognized behavioral sleep medicine specialist, walks you through the science of how the brain sleeps (or doesn’t); shares stories from the clinic of real people’s journeys to better sleep; and lays out a step-by-step program for overcoming insomnia and letting go of sleeping pills. Using her years of clinical expertise, she problem-solves your common pitfalls, soothes your anxieties, and tailors recommendations for your special sleep circumstances (e.g., pregnancy, menopause, chronic pain, depression, etc.).
Hello Sleep empowers the sleepless with the latest knowledge and most effective tools, allowing them to trust themselves and their own sleep again. It will answer these burning questions and
• Why can’t I fall asleep even though I’m tired? How can I quiet my mind?
• What should I do when I wake up at 2:00 A.M. and can’t get back to sleep?
• Should I nap? What can I do about my fatigue during the day?
• How do I get off sleep medications safely and without rebound insomnia?
For the twenty-five million Americans who struggle with insomnia, each night feels like a battle with their racing minds instead of a blissful surrender into sleep. Hello Sleep is a guide for the tired but wired people who just want sleep to be easy. Dr. Jade Wu, an internationally recognized behavioral sleep medicine specialist, walks you through the science of how the brain sleeps (or doesn’t); shares stories from the clinic of real people’s journeys to better sleep; and lays out a step-by-step program for overcoming insomnia and letting go of sleeping pills. Using her years of clinical expertise, she problem-solves your common pitfalls, soothes your anxieties, and tailors recommendations for your special sleep circumstances (e.g., pregnancy, menopause, chronic pain, depression, etc.).
Hello Sleep empowers the sleepless with the latest knowledge and most effective tools, allowing them to trust themselves and their own sleep again. It will answer these burning questions and
• Why can’t I fall asleep even though I’m tired? How can I quiet my mind?
• What should I do when I wake up at 2:00 A.M. and can’t get back to sleep?
• Should I nap? What can I do about my fatigue during the day?
• How do I get off sleep medications safely and without rebound insomnia?
384 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2023
353 people are currently reading
4998 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews
November 2, 2023
As a person who has suffered from difficulty sleeping on and off for most of my life, I found this book to be a comprehensive guide to understanding many of the reasons people have this difficulty. It offers research based explanations, considers the pros and cons of various methods for dealing with it, and gives a step-by-step process to try to reset your sleep habits. Being familiar with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in general, it was not a stretch to see how this approach can help with sleep issues. For those who aren't familiar with CBT, it offers a good taste of how that might work.
I've spent many years researching possible "cures" or interventions and Wu covers most of what I've read, indicating how helpful those strategies are or aren't, which was interesting. I feel better knowing that most of what I've done is on the "helpful" side, which must show in my getting better sleep than what I used to, not that it's at all perfect.
My biggest complaint about books like this is they seem excessively repetitious and unnecessarily long. I also listened on audio, and if you really need/want help with this issue, I recommend getting a hard copy so you can go back and forth between chapters and reference pertinent parts more easily.
I've spent many years researching possible "cures" or interventions and Wu covers most of what I've read, indicating how helpful those strategies are or aren't, which was interesting. I feel better knowing that most of what I've done is on the "helpful" side, which must show in my getting better sleep than what I used to, not that it's at all perfect.
My biggest complaint about books like this is they seem excessively repetitious and unnecessarily long. I also listened on audio, and if you really need/want help with this issue, I recommend getting a hard copy so you can go back and forth between chapters and reference pertinent parts more easily.
October 5, 2023
If you're plagued with insomnia and can't afford to do the gold standard CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia) 5-8 session treatment, this book is an excellent alternative that takes you through the process in a clear, well-organized fashion. The author is a highly respected researcher and practicing therapist in sleep behavior, and the book has been well received by the community of therapists. It's ultra-readable, written in an empathetic conversational style. She addresses the doubts, fears and objections she's heard from her patients and counters them with science, compassion and humor. By it's very nature, this book is a one-size-fits-all thing, so ideally a reader could find a therapist to do a one-time consultation to customize it a bit.
January 31, 2023
I don’t have insomnia–never have. But my husband, my step-mother, and my younger sister all do. So it’s always been around me. And I know it’s insidious and even can be dangerous. We need sleep. It’s necessary for life. And when we don’t get it, all kinds of systems can go haywire.
Dr. Wu starts this book off by explaining that if you have insomnia it’s not your fault. It almost always starts off as a natural reaction to stressors, and then develops into a bad relationship with sleep. And you can reset that relationship back again. She talks about a lot of sleep science, including that for people with insomnia, if you feel like your brain is racing all night, that’s real. Studies show that people with insomnia have much more brain activity than people without, even while they’re asleep. So she begins with the science and with telling you not to beat yourself up about this. And then, she has a plan. It sounds extreme, but not sleeping is also extreme, so what do you have to lose? It involves staying up really late, until you’re actually sleepy (which is different than tired) and that’s your new bedtime (and no, you don’t get to sleep in in the morning, or take naps.) And when that new bedtime works for you consistently, you can add 15-30 minutes back to it, a week at a time. Don’t worry–once your relationship is fully reset back to normal, you can nap again. She has a lot of tips and tweaks to what you’re currently trying (light lamps, getting exercise, not doing anything in bed except sleeping–and that includes trying to sleep.) She has info for dealing with sleep disruptions during pregnancy, during perimenopause and menopause, and in old age. Her voice is soothing and easy to read–otherwise why on earth would I, someone without insomnia, have read an entire book about it? In fact, I read it just before going to sleep at night and found it great bedtime reading. If you or someone you love has insomnia, I urge you to give this book a try as Dr. Wu has great advice. Even I, already a good sleeper, have slept better after reading it.
Dr. Wu starts this book off by explaining that if you have insomnia it’s not your fault. It almost always starts off as a natural reaction to stressors, and then develops into a bad relationship with sleep. And you can reset that relationship back again. She talks about a lot of sleep science, including that for people with insomnia, if you feel like your brain is racing all night, that’s real. Studies show that people with insomnia have much more brain activity than people without, even while they’re asleep. So she begins with the science and with telling you not to beat yourself up about this. And then, she has a plan. It sounds extreme, but not sleeping is also extreme, so what do you have to lose? It involves staying up really late, until you’re actually sleepy (which is different than tired) and that’s your new bedtime (and no, you don’t get to sleep in in the morning, or take naps.) And when that new bedtime works for you consistently, you can add 15-30 minutes back to it, a week at a time. Don’t worry–once your relationship is fully reset back to normal, you can nap again. She has a lot of tips and tweaks to what you’re currently trying (light lamps, getting exercise, not doing anything in bed except sleeping–and that includes trying to sleep.) She has info for dealing with sleep disruptions during pregnancy, during perimenopause and menopause, and in old age. Her voice is soothing and easy to read–otherwise why on earth would I, someone without insomnia, have read an entire book about it? In fact, I read it just before going to sleep at night and found it great bedtime reading. If you or someone you love has insomnia, I urge you to give this book a try as Dr. Wu has great advice. Even I, already a good sleeper, have slept better after reading it.
December 25, 2023
3.5 stars
I found this non-fiction self help book helpful. I basically read it one chapter at a time - over the last few weeks. There are chapters that I just scanned - like the one on Sleep During Pregnancy, Postpartum and Menopause - all of which I am well past. But chapters that I read word for word - like The Golden Years and Other Medical Conditions That Effect Sleep, I felt were helpful.
The beginning of the book sets you up to know what healthy sleep is and then to know yourself and what you need as nightly sleep. It gives you a road map to follow and pointers for nuances and change. You learn more about your own Circadian rhythm and your sleep-wake patterns. And how minor depression may impact your sleep and ways to fix that. How strategically bright light - ideally sun light - can also effect your night time sleep. There is also a chapter on medications and how they effect your sleep.
Overall this book was probably the best book I have ever read about a persons sleep patterns and a process for helping to find a good nights sleep and/or eliminating problems causing the lack of a good nights sleep.
Thanks to Carmel, another Goodreads member, for reviewing this book and bringing it to my attention.
I found this non-fiction self help book helpful. I basically read it one chapter at a time - over the last few weeks. There are chapters that I just scanned - like the one on Sleep During Pregnancy, Postpartum and Menopause - all of which I am well past. But chapters that I read word for word - like The Golden Years and Other Medical Conditions That Effect Sleep, I felt were helpful.
The beginning of the book sets you up to know what healthy sleep is and then to know yourself and what you need as nightly sleep. It gives you a road map to follow and pointers for nuances and change. You learn more about your own Circadian rhythm and your sleep-wake patterns. And how minor depression may impact your sleep and ways to fix that. How strategically bright light - ideally sun light - can also effect your night time sleep. There is also a chapter on medications and how they effect your sleep.
Overall this book was probably the best book I have ever read about a persons sleep patterns and a process for helping to find a good nights sleep and/or eliminating problems causing the lack of a good nights sleep.
Thanks to Carmel, another Goodreads member, for reviewing this book and bringing it to my attention.
February 16, 2023
I've dealt with bouts of insomnia for the last 15 years. I prefer to try natural methods to help over medication. This book had a great amount of tips and information and I really hope to put it to use and sleep better. Definitely pick this up if you're looking for help with your sleep problems. Learned alot!
Thank you to the publisher for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
Thank you to the publisher for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
May 12, 2024
Do you suffer from insomnia? Are you a night owl? A light or heavy sleeper? I've always enjoyed reading or hearing about the many factors that contribute to a good night's sleep. Author Jade Wu is a behavioural sleep medicine specialist and researcher and I can safely say Hello Sleep - The Science And Art Of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications has much to offer the many insomniacs watching their clocks and tossing and turning as I write this.
My key takeaway from the book is this: whether you fall asleep easily tonight comes down to where you are on the sleep drive versus arousal equation.
Sleep drive - or homeostatic sleep drive - is essentially your body's hunger for sleep, also called sleep pressure. You can build sleep drive by being awake and you can increase sleep drive by being physically and mentally active while you're awake. Put another way, sleep drive is:
"The sleepiness you deposit into your sleep drive piggy bank during the day and use to buy quality sleep at night." Page 94
However, sleep drive is only one part of the equation, the second is arousal. Essentially, arousal is akin to being razzed up, and can be physical, mental or emotional. Arousal works directly against sleep drive and we've all experienced this. Our minds might be racing after an argument with someone or before an important work meeting, holiday or interview. Or, we might experience negative thought patterns that fuel our arousal and make it impossible to turn our brains off or physically relax enough for our body to take over and fall asleep.
Thankfully we can take some control back and Wu steps us through her Hello Sleep program, providing explanations along the way to help readers understand what's happening in their bodies and what to do to change existing sleep patterns.
Narrated by Susannah Mars, there were plenty of helpful facts along the way, and previous learnings I enjoyed rediscovering here, like this one:
"A healthy adult of about thirty-five to sixty-five years old wakes about ten to sixteen times per night, though they don't remember most of these brief awakenings." Page 21
I read Hello Sleep by Jade Wu at the same time as watching Michael Mosley's new documentary Australia's Sleep Revolution with Dr Michael Mosley on SBS. The information contained in the 3 episode documentary reinforced much of Wu's content and vice versa, and I can highly recommend the program.
I experience regular sleep issues related to chronic pain so I was very interested in the chapter entitled Other Medical and Psychiatric Conditions That Affect Sleep:
"When it comes to sleep, it's not a pretty picture: those with chronic pain tend to have worse sleep by every measure, and a majority have insomnia. It's not hard to imagine why: it's difficult to find a comfortable position, the pain is distracting, and the body and brain are generally more stressed, causing hyperarousal. This is an unfortunate vicious cycle because having worse sleep can also exacerbate pain by increasing inflammation and perception of pain, as well as making it harder to emotionally cope with pain during the day." Page 304-305
I felt really seen by the author, who goes on to explain that the Hello Sleep program still applies and that there's plenty within your control that you can do to improve your sleep quality, regardless of any medical conditions you may have.
Hello Sleep - The Science And Art Of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications by Jade Wu is recommended for anyone wanting to understand and improve their own sleep quality, or that of a loved one.
My key takeaway from the book is this: whether you fall asleep easily tonight comes down to where you are on the sleep drive versus arousal equation.
Sleep drive - or homeostatic sleep drive - is essentially your body's hunger for sleep, also called sleep pressure. You can build sleep drive by being awake and you can increase sleep drive by being physically and mentally active while you're awake. Put another way, sleep drive is:
"The sleepiness you deposit into your sleep drive piggy bank during the day and use to buy quality sleep at night." Page 94
However, sleep drive is only one part of the equation, the second is arousal. Essentially, arousal is akin to being razzed up, and can be physical, mental or emotional. Arousal works directly against sleep drive and we've all experienced this. Our minds might be racing after an argument with someone or before an important work meeting, holiday or interview. Or, we might experience negative thought patterns that fuel our arousal and make it impossible to turn our brains off or physically relax enough for our body to take over and fall asleep.
Thankfully we can take some control back and Wu steps us through her Hello Sleep program, providing explanations along the way to help readers understand what's happening in their bodies and what to do to change existing sleep patterns.
Narrated by Susannah Mars, there were plenty of helpful facts along the way, and previous learnings I enjoyed rediscovering here, like this one:
"A healthy adult of about thirty-five to sixty-five years old wakes about ten to sixteen times per night, though they don't remember most of these brief awakenings." Page 21
I read Hello Sleep by Jade Wu at the same time as watching Michael Mosley's new documentary Australia's Sleep Revolution with Dr Michael Mosley on SBS. The information contained in the 3 episode documentary reinforced much of Wu's content and vice versa, and I can highly recommend the program.
I experience regular sleep issues related to chronic pain so I was very interested in the chapter entitled Other Medical and Psychiatric Conditions That Affect Sleep:
"When it comes to sleep, it's not a pretty picture: those with chronic pain tend to have worse sleep by every measure, and a majority have insomnia. It's not hard to imagine why: it's difficult to find a comfortable position, the pain is distracting, and the body and brain are generally more stressed, causing hyperarousal. This is an unfortunate vicious cycle because having worse sleep can also exacerbate pain by increasing inflammation and perception of pain, as well as making it harder to emotionally cope with pain during the day." Page 304-305
I felt really seen by the author, who goes on to explain that the Hello Sleep program still applies and that there's plenty within your control that you can do to improve your sleep quality, regardless of any medical conditions you may have.
Hello Sleep - The Science And Art Of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications by Jade Wu is recommended for anyone wanting to understand and improve their own sleep quality, or that of a loved one.
February 24, 2023
This book was fascinating and so helpful. It debunks so many of the ideas people give for attaining better sleep and backs up the claims with research. This is a well-researched book. I have learned so much reading this book, and now I’m going to go through it slower as I work through the steps to better sleep! Highly recommend for those who struggle with insomnia! I received a free advanced copy of this book from NetGalley.
October 21, 2025
Zeker een goed boek! Het is zoals beschreven een praktische gids voor het verhelpen van insomnia. Het boek behandeld alles wat te maken heeft of invloed uitoefent op Insomnia.
Wat ik sterk vond is het feit dat ze benadrukt dat er nog steeds veel onbekend is over slaap. De focus wordt gelegd op de inzet van Cognitieve gedragtherapie (CGT) om Insomnia te verhelpen. Ze benoemd de fabels en ontkracht bekende adviezen. Veel van de mensen die lijden aan insomnia ervaren het als een probleem en kijken op tegen slapen. Terwijl je er eigenlijk niet tegen hoeft te vechten om in slaap te vallen. Daarnaast is ook de mate van structuur (bedtijd en opstaan), voldoende energieverbruik gaande de dag en de positieve benadering een belangrijke invloed op het verhelpen van Insomnia.
Echter vond ik het veel herhaling aan het eind van elk hoofdstuk en dat had naar mijn mening ingekort kunnen worden. Al met al goed en praktisch boek, 4 Sterren.
Wat ik sterk vond is het feit dat ze benadrukt dat er nog steeds veel onbekend is over slaap. De focus wordt gelegd op de inzet van Cognitieve gedragtherapie (CGT) om Insomnia te verhelpen. Ze benoemd de fabels en ontkracht bekende adviezen. Veel van de mensen die lijden aan insomnia ervaren het als een probleem en kijken op tegen slapen. Terwijl je er eigenlijk niet tegen hoeft te vechten om in slaap te vallen. Daarnaast is ook de mate van structuur (bedtijd en opstaan), voldoende energieverbruik gaande de dag en de positieve benadering een belangrijke invloed op het verhelpen van Insomnia.
Echter vond ik het veel herhaling aan het eind van elk hoofdstuk en dat had naar mijn mening ingekort kunnen worden. Al met al goed en praktisch boek, 4 Sterren.
December 1, 2023
Bardzo dobra książka! Nie mam za bardzo problemu ze snem, ale czasami za bardzo schizuję w kwestii snu. Samo przeczytanie tej książki ściąga presję związana ze snem. Myślę, że autorka mocno otworzyła mi oczy na nowe fakty i złamała kilka mitów, w które wierzyłam, albo które nadinterpretowywałam
February 22, 2023
As a clinical psychologist and sleep researcher, Dr. Wu brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to the topic of sleep, and her writing is clear, engaging, and accessible.
One of the strengths of this book is its emphasis on evidence-based advice. Dr. Wu draws on the latest research in sleep science to provide readers with practical tips and techniques for improving their sleep. She covers a wide range of topics, from creating a sleep-conducive environment to managing stress and anxiety, and provides step-by-step guidance for implementing these strategies.
The book is also highly organized, with each chapter focusing on a specific aspect of sleep. This makes it easy to find the information you need, and the layout is visually appealing, with helpful illustrations and diagrams throughout the book.
Another standout feature of "Hello Sleep" is the author's empathetic and non-judgmental approach. Dr. Wu acknowledges that everyone's sleep needs are unique, and she encourages readers to experiment with different strategies and find what works best for them. She also provides reassurance for those who struggle with sleep, emphasizing that it is a common issue and that there are effective solutions available.
Overall, "Hello Sleep" is an excellent resource for anyone looking to improve their sleep. Dr. Wu's expertise and compassionate approach make this book both informative and reassuring, and the practical tips and techniques it provides are sure to help anyone achieve a better night's sleep.
One of the strengths of this book is its emphasis on evidence-based advice. Dr. Wu draws on the latest research in sleep science to provide readers with practical tips and techniques for improving their sleep. She covers a wide range of topics, from creating a sleep-conducive environment to managing stress and anxiety, and provides step-by-step guidance for implementing these strategies.
The book is also highly organized, with each chapter focusing on a specific aspect of sleep. This makes it easy to find the information you need, and the layout is visually appealing, with helpful illustrations and diagrams throughout the book.
Another standout feature of "Hello Sleep" is the author's empathetic and non-judgmental approach. Dr. Wu acknowledges that everyone's sleep needs are unique, and she encourages readers to experiment with different strategies and find what works best for them. She also provides reassurance for those who struggle with sleep, emphasizing that it is a common issue and that there are effective solutions available.
Overall, "Hello Sleep" is an excellent resource for anyone looking to improve their sleep. Dr. Wu's expertise and compassionate approach make this book both informative and reassuring, and the practical tips and techniques it provides are sure to help anyone achieve a better night's sleep.
January 31, 2023
Fun fact: I’ve had chronic insomnia for at least 10 years, but I think it’s closer to 15 years.
Chronic insomnia is
* Difficulty falling asleep — ✔️
* Difficulty staying asleep — ✔️✔️✔️
* Waking up too early — ✔️
Yup, I have all three. YAY! Do I win a prize?
I’ve read many books on how to sleep better, and frankly at least half of them were completely worthless. They focused on people who chose to sleep less, like workaholics. And most of the rest had the standard solution of focusing on better “sleep hygiene“, like not using your phone, having a cool room temperature, don’t drink caffeine, etc. I’m happy to say that this book focuses much more on the nitty-gritty and has a step-by-step outlined program for resetting your sleep habits. It’s also written in a really accessible way; it’s not over the top with science jargon and the like.
I’ve already started tracking my nightly sleep in anticipation of starting the reset. So even though I don’t know whether my sleep will improve I do have hope. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Thank you to NetGalley & St. Martin’s Press for this advance reader copy. All opinions are my own.
Chronic insomnia is
* Difficulty falling asleep — ✔️
* Difficulty staying asleep — ✔️✔️✔️
* Waking up too early — ✔️
Yup, I have all three. YAY! Do I win a prize?
I’ve read many books on how to sleep better, and frankly at least half of them were completely worthless. They focused on people who chose to sleep less, like workaholics. And most of the rest had the standard solution of focusing on better “sleep hygiene“, like not using your phone, having a cool room temperature, don’t drink caffeine, etc. I’m happy to say that this book focuses much more on the nitty-gritty and has a step-by-step outlined program for resetting your sleep habits. It’s also written in a really accessible way; it’s not over the top with science jargon and the like.
I’ve already started tracking my nightly sleep in anticipation of starting the reset. So even though I don’t know whether my sleep will improve I do have hope. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Thank you to NetGalley & St. Martin’s Press for this advance reader copy. All opinions are my own.
October 11, 2025
The best approach to insomnia I've encountered in all of my research.
June 26, 2024
Some ideas are worth trying. I really liked the end of the chapters. They have "A Bottom Line". The chapter that helped me the most is the "Golden Years". Good information!
December 24, 2023
Fantastic--my favorite nonfic of the year and a big help with my insomnia. The book takes you through the treatment plan the author, a behavioral sleep medicine specialist, uses with her patients. The approach is called CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia).
I learned a lot about things I'd never heard before in my years-long pursuit of improving my sleep, things like sleep drive, hyperarousal, and sleep effort. The author refers back to important concepts throughout the book, and that helped me retain a lot of what I learned, and it didn't feel too repetitious. I think the best thing I got out of this is that it really toned down my anxiety about sleep. What she had to say, in her friendly, sometimes humorous way, calmed me down, and I really needed to calm down. Scholarly sources are cited throughout, and the author is a researcher in the field herself.
Sleep restriction--it's called sleep consolidation, or "the Big Reset" in the book--is a big part of the treatment, and I'm seeing marked improvement in how much time in bed I spend sleeping. I'm going to do another week of it, and I feel optimistic about things continuing to get better.
There are other important parts to it, like making sure you get enough light and exercise during the day, mindfulness stuff, etc. You need to read most of the book to get through all the aspects of treatment. And it worked well for me to get started right away on keeping a sleep diary and doing the reset as I made my way through the book. Some people might want to read through it all first, and I think if you do that, you'll still benefit from the calming way she presents the information and puts things into perspective.
She touches on other sleep disorders too, and she really emphasizes the importance of getting help for sleep apnea. If you have trouble sleeping, I highly recommend reading this book!
I learned a lot about things I'd never heard before in my years-long pursuit of improving my sleep, things like sleep drive, hyperarousal, and sleep effort. The author refers back to important concepts throughout the book, and that helped me retain a lot of what I learned, and it didn't feel too repetitious. I think the best thing I got out of this is that it really toned down my anxiety about sleep. What she had to say, in her friendly, sometimes humorous way, calmed me down, and I really needed to calm down. Scholarly sources are cited throughout, and the author is a researcher in the field herself.
Sleep restriction--it's called sleep consolidation, or "the Big Reset" in the book--is a big part of the treatment, and I'm seeing marked improvement in how much time in bed I spend sleeping. I'm going to do another week of it, and I feel optimistic about things continuing to get better.
There are other important parts to it, like making sure you get enough light and exercise during the day, mindfulness stuff, etc. You need to read most of the book to get through all the aspects of treatment. And it worked well for me to get started right away on keeping a sleep diary and doing the reset as I made my way through the book. Some people might want to read through it all first, and I think if you do that, you'll still benefit from the calming way she presents the information and puts things into perspective.
She touches on other sleep disorders too, and she really emphasizes the importance of getting help for sleep apnea. If you have trouble sleeping, I highly recommend reading this book!
December 7, 2023
Maybe that book wasn't so remarkable to me because I read many books in the search of a treatment for my chronic insomnia.
It reminds one that insomnia and sleep deprivation aren't to be confused, and that insomnia is treatable. It invite to combat it with light and movement the fatigue that results from insomnia. It plans the "Big Sleep Reset" by analysing one's sleep sleep logs, to calculate how much time one is spending in bed, how long it takes to fall asleep, time spent awake at night, total sleep time, and sleep efficiency. This is to determine your earliest allowed bedtime and rise time for every day of the program. It discusses other common topics and gives advices about sleep.
Overall seems like a legit plan but as I was not putting it. in practice but just reading quickly through it, it is probably of my own doing that I didn't get much out of that book.
It reminds one that insomnia and sleep deprivation aren't to be confused, and that insomnia is treatable. It invite to combat it with light and movement the fatigue that results from insomnia. It plans the "Big Sleep Reset" by analysing one's sleep sleep logs, to calculate how much time one is spending in bed, how long it takes to fall asleep, time spent awake at night, total sleep time, and sleep efficiency. This is to determine your earliest allowed bedtime and rise time for every day of the program. It discusses other common topics and gives advices about sleep.
Overall seems like a legit plan but as I was not putting it. in practice but just reading quickly through it, it is probably of my own doing that I didn't get much out of that book.
dnf
March 6, 2025This is a soft DNF at 58% because my library audiobook expired. Also, the audio was the wrong format for me. Not that it's bad or anything like that, I just cannot retain the info or follow the program recommendations. And all the recaps and check-ins at the end of every chapter got repetitive to hear, which I know wouldn't bother me if I was just looking at the list of them. So I'm back on hold for an ebook, lol.
May 18, 2023
I’m so happy that I read this book. Changing my attitude, thoughts and expectations of sleep were really game changers for me. I would never have thought that having such negative thoughts about sleep was hindering me. I have this book to refer to anytime I need it. I learned a lot and loved that the author used a lot of research to back up claims.
November 18, 2025
The most complete, structured, and comprehensive sleep book I've read. But perhaps could be improved by little bit of graphics-based therapy. Read this book immediately to reset your sleep behavior instead of wasting your time googling about sleep help that would mostly give you incomplete and weak advises.
January 22, 2023
Hello Sleep came at the perfect time for me. I've been struggling with insomnia off and on for the last couple of years. This was a great, practical guide on how to work through insomnia. This book was one of the most helpful that I've read on the topic. The author was very knowledgable on the topic. This book was well written. Huge thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and review this book.
June 19, 2023
Not your typical sleep hygiene prescription - finally an up-to-date analysis of insomnia and practical approaches for tackling sleep issues. I’m giving it a 4 instead of a 5 because I’m still a sleep project in process, but more hopeful after reading the book.
July 3, 2023
Skim read it since it's mostly for people who have active insomnia. But it seemed like a balanced and reasonable set of actions to take.
August 17, 2023
Really great book, a lot less panic indusing then the first book about sleep that I have read which was a wake up call in both literal and figurative sence because of horrible sleep anxiety it gave me. This one is a lot more gentle with you and much more a guided step by step approach how to improve your sleep and forget about reading books about sleep once and for all.
I think my favorite part was about how one of the most common reasons for Insomnia its people going to sleep too early at a "proper time" where they haven't earned enough sleep drive in their adenosine induced sleep drive piggy-bank (loved this analogy) I myself made this mistake numerous times, especially after you had a bad night of sleep and feel this urge to crash early or when you just want your day to end asap.
Key outtakes
The body and brain do some truly amazing things during sleep. Some of these include:
Clearing out toxins from the cerebrospinal fluid (your brain “juices”)
Releasing human growth hormone and sex hormones
Repairing damaged tissue and maintaining healthy tissue
Reviewing and organizing new information
Regulating emotions
Practicing new skills
During REM, your major muscles are deactivated, your eyes move behind closed lids, and your brain’s EEG pattern looks almost like when awake. The brain is very active— it sorts through memories, makes sense of emotions, makes decisions about what to keep and what to lose. Think of a detective sorting through their wall of interlinked mug shots and news clippings and question marks with an intense soundtrack playing in the background. With all this action, it’s no surprise that REM is also when most of our dreaming happens.
Your brain naturally interrupts your sleep multiple times per hour anyway. A dozen or so brief awakenings (including a few that you remember, each lasting a few minutes) is totally normal,
I also don’t like to refer to sleep architecture patterns as “sleep cycles.” You may have heard that sleep cycles are ninety minutes long, and that you should try to time your wake-up alarm to be at the end of a cycle. Nope. Forget that. Sleep architecture doesn’t follow a lather-rinse-repeat pattern because so-called sleep cycles are not that neat. Even your own “cycles” are not the same shape or length during one night
Your brain will automatically adjust how much deep sleep versus REM sleep versus light sleep you get, in what sequence, and in which brain regions, all dependent on your current needs.
Our prehistoric ancestors needed restless night owls, bright-eyed morning larks, light sleepers, dead logs, middle-of-the-night risers, middle-of-the-day nappers, and sleepers of all sorts. This diversity saved lives and perpetuated our species. They needed wise elders who needed less sleep to watch over exhausted hunters, who probably needed more; they needed morning birds to get the bows strung bright and early, as well as night owls to keep an eye out for predators of the night.This is why evolution made our sleep so diverse and dynamic.
Insomnia is mostly in the eye of the beholder. So, if taking ten minutes to fall asleep bothers you a lot and ruins your day, then ten minutes counts as “difficulty falling asleep.” If you’re happy with taking sixty minutes from lights out to sleeping and it’s not causing you problems, you do not have “difficulty falling asleep.”
sleep deprivation makes people sleepy. If you have insomnia, your inability to sleep (in a bed, with no torture machines!) is direct proof that you are probably not sleep deprived.
You may be getting more sleep than your brain is able to perceive. One of the mysteries of insomnia is its ability to change the way we perceive sleep, and perhaps even the way we perceive time. We used to call it “paradoxical insomnia” when someone feels like they took hours to fall asleep, but measurements of their brain waves showed that it only took them twenty minutes. For people with insomnia, lighter stages of sleep (e.g., Stage 1 and Stage 2) can feel like no sleep at all,
Sleep Effort— the act of trying too hard and chasing sleep away as a result
Instead,insomnia perpetuating factors are often perfectly reasonable things we do to try to fix our sleep problems:
Going to bed early after having a couple of particularly bad nights
Prioritizing sleep in your life, and arranging activities and schedules accordingly
Using meditation to try to fall back to sleep
Avoiding stimulating things like exercise or the iPad in the evenings
Using a sleep tracking device to evaluate your sleep
Trying to find the ideal room temperature, bedtime routine, pillow, etc.
If so, you may be a victim of “orthosomnia,” 3 the condition of having insomnia due to, or exacerbated by, the act of tracking it.
Please do not watch a clock or use your smartphone to note precise times, because this will virtually guarantee sleeplessness. In fact, put your smartphone out of reach and throw a T-shirt over your alarm clock.
In any given moment, whether or not you will fall asleep boils down to the balance between two forces: sleep drive versus arousal. If you have more sleep drive than arousal right now, you will fall asleep soon. If you have more arousal than sleep drive, you won’t. What Is Sleep Drive? Homeostatic sleep drive1 is your “hunger” for sleep. Just like the longer you go without eating, the more hunger (for food) builds up, the longer you go without sleeping, the more homeostatic sleep drive builds up. For most adults, it takes about sixteen to eighteen hours of being awake to save enough in the piggy bank for a good quality sleep.
there is a crucial difference between tired and sleepy. Feeling tired means feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, “done with the day” … it’s your body and mind asking for rest, rejuvenation, or sometimes, just a change of scenery. In moments like these, the cure may be a nice stretch, a comforting cup of tea, or a walk in the park. Feeling sleepy means you’re close to falling asleep. That’s it. If your eyes are drooping and your head is involuntarily nodding, or you’ve been missing plot points in the movie you’re watching … you are sleepy. In this case, the cure is to sleep. You may very well be tired but not sleepy, and if that’s when you go to bed, you probably don’t have enough sleep drive in your piggy bank yet to pay for a good night’s sleep.
Sleep Sabotages:
Sabotage 1 - Going to bed to sleep too early
Sabotage #2: Lingering in Bed in the Morning
Sabotage #3: Alternating Between Short and Long Nights
Sabotage #4: Being Inactive During the Day (helps to build sleep drive)
we’re surprisingly bad at remembering nights other than last night and the worst night.
A healthy average sleep efficiency is usually between 85 percent and 95 percent.
taking naps would be like stealing a little bit every day from your own piggy bank, so it’s better to work through the urge and look forward to being sleepier at bedtime.
Caffeine molecules take up the same docking sites on brain cells that adenosine, the sleep drive chemical, docks. Therefore, having too much caffeine prevents adenosine from docking and letting your brain know how much sleep drive is accumulating, which tricks your brain into not feeling sleepy when you truly are.
people with insomnia have brains that are hyperaroused, during both the day and night, even when their actual sleep parameters seem healthy from the outside.
sleep duration is not associated with fatigue levels.Hyperarousal Does Lead to More Fatigue. person was more tired overall. This means it’s not the total amount of sleep that matters. It’s the consistency.In turn, ruminating about fatigue and having unhelpful sleep beliefs led to more fatigue. And frequently shining a spotlight on how tired you feel gives fatigue an outsized presence in your life, magnifying how bad it feels, and preventing you from having more fun, which makes you feel worse about your sleep, which makes you more hyperaroused, which makes your sleep worse. Prophecy fulfilled.
Circadian Dysregulation - every biological process in the body follows a roughly twenty-four-hour pattern, including when we sleep and when we wake. This complex system is directed by the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), which is like a maestro in your brain that makes sure a big orchestra of separate instruments all play in sync and on time. Your SCN is happiest when it knows what time it is and is therefore able to keep everything, including your sleep-wake rhythm, on time. “Circadian dysregulation” is a catch-all term to describe any situation where your SCN is confused about what time it is outside
being sedentary is associated with more fatigue, and that increasing physical activity leads to feeling more energized.
Challenge yourself to replace 25 percent of your passive media consumption time with simply being with yourself, and see what other feelings, thoughts, desires, and interactions arise.We’ve simply been taught to deprioritize rest, as if it’s useless, empty space between “productive” pursuits. But in truth, it’s the water between continents— the very thing that makes life possible. Embrace boredom. Get reacquainted with this feeling. Don’t automatically fill it with something “productive.” See what else you might drift toward as you get more bored. Doodling, perhaps, or people-watching in the park, or simply breathing.energy. The solution is simple: make sure you have protected time during the day to give your thoughts full attention.
1: Become Aware of Your Automatic Thoughts About Sleep
This mindfulness exercise can be done anywhere, anytime.
It’s particularly helpful when you feel yourself getting into a rumination spiral.
Simply pause and ask yourself,
What are 5 things I see around me?
What are 4 things I hear?
What are 3 things I can feel with my body?
What are 2 things I can smell?
What is 1 thing I can taste? (Replace with another thing you feel with your body, or an emotion, if you don’t have anything to taste.)
If your partner is a healthy sleeper, you’re being woken by them five and a half times per night, on average. If you have insomnia, you’re waking your partner up 6.9 times per night. If your partner has obstructive sleep apnea, they’re waking you up nine times per hour, and more if their apnea is severe. If you and your partner go to bed at the same time, you’re especially likely to interrupt each other’s sleep.
The Content on Your Screens (and on Your Mind) Likely Matters More Than the Light Exposure Itself Not all screens are equal.
Most people wake up feeling groggy, unmotivated, sluggish. This is called “sleep inertia” and is completely normal. It takes about half an hour of moving the body for our system to boot up. Sometimes you’ll sleep well and still be tired during the day. That’s because most things that cause fatigue are not sleep related. Remember to hydrate, eat well, move, socialize, rest, reflect, feed your creativity, and accept that being tired sometimes (or even often, if you’re a parent) is a normal part of the human condition. Some people will always have
I think my favorite part was about how one of the most common reasons for Insomnia its people going to sleep too early at a "proper time" where they haven't earned enough sleep drive in their adenosine induced sleep drive piggy-bank (loved this analogy) I myself made this mistake numerous times, especially after you had a bad night of sleep and feel this urge to crash early or when you just want your day to end asap.
Key outtakes
The body and brain do some truly amazing things during sleep. Some of these include:
Clearing out toxins from the cerebrospinal fluid (your brain “juices”)
Releasing human growth hormone and sex hormones
Repairing damaged tissue and maintaining healthy tissue
Reviewing and organizing new information
Regulating emotions
Practicing new skills
During REM, your major muscles are deactivated, your eyes move behind closed lids, and your brain’s EEG pattern looks almost like when awake. The brain is very active— it sorts through memories, makes sense of emotions, makes decisions about what to keep and what to lose. Think of a detective sorting through their wall of interlinked mug shots and news clippings and question marks with an intense soundtrack playing in the background. With all this action, it’s no surprise that REM is also when most of our dreaming happens.
Your brain naturally interrupts your sleep multiple times per hour anyway. A dozen or so brief awakenings (including a few that you remember, each lasting a few minutes) is totally normal,
I also don’t like to refer to sleep architecture patterns as “sleep cycles.” You may have heard that sleep cycles are ninety minutes long, and that you should try to time your wake-up alarm to be at the end of a cycle. Nope. Forget that. Sleep architecture doesn’t follow a lather-rinse-repeat pattern because so-called sleep cycles are not that neat. Even your own “cycles” are not the same shape or length during one night
Your brain will automatically adjust how much deep sleep versus REM sleep versus light sleep you get, in what sequence, and in which brain regions, all dependent on your current needs.
Our prehistoric ancestors needed restless night owls, bright-eyed morning larks, light sleepers, dead logs, middle-of-the-night risers, middle-of-the-day nappers, and sleepers of all sorts. This diversity saved lives and perpetuated our species. They needed wise elders who needed less sleep to watch over exhausted hunters, who probably needed more; they needed morning birds to get the bows strung bright and early, as well as night owls to keep an eye out for predators of the night.This is why evolution made our sleep so diverse and dynamic.
Insomnia is mostly in the eye of the beholder. So, if taking ten minutes to fall asleep bothers you a lot and ruins your day, then ten minutes counts as “difficulty falling asleep.” If you’re happy with taking sixty minutes from lights out to sleeping and it’s not causing you problems, you do not have “difficulty falling asleep.”
sleep deprivation makes people sleepy. If you have insomnia, your inability to sleep (in a bed, with no torture machines!) is direct proof that you are probably not sleep deprived.
You may be getting more sleep than your brain is able to perceive. One of the mysteries of insomnia is its ability to change the way we perceive sleep, and perhaps even the way we perceive time. We used to call it “paradoxical insomnia” when someone feels like they took hours to fall asleep, but measurements of their brain waves showed that it only took them twenty minutes. For people with insomnia, lighter stages of sleep (e.g., Stage 1 and Stage 2) can feel like no sleep at all,
Sleep Effort— the act of trying too hard and chasing sleep away as a result
Instead,insomnia perpetuating factors are often perfectly reasonable things we do to try to fix our sleep problems:
Going to bed early after having a couple of particularly bad nights
Prioritizing sleep in your life, and arranging activities and schedules accordingly
Using meditation to try to fall back to sleep
Avoiding stimulating things like exercise or the iPad in the evenings
Using a sleep tracking device to evaluate your sleep
Trying to find the ideal room temperature, bedtime routine, pillow, etc.
If so, you may be a victim of “orthosomnia,” 3 the condition of having insomnia due to, or exacerbated by, the act of tracking it.
Please do not watch a clock or use your smartphone to note precise times, because this will virtually guarantee sleeplessness. In fact, put your smartphone out of reach and throw a T-shirt over your alarm clock.
In any given moment, whether or not you will fall asleep boils down to the balance between two forces: sleep drive versus arousal. If you have more sleep drive than arousal right now, you will fall asleep soon. If you have more arousal than sleep drive, you won’t. What Is Sleep Drive? Homeostatic sleep drive1 is your “hunger” for sleep. Just like the longer you go without eating, the more hunger (for food) builds up, the longer you go without sleeping, the more homeostatic sleep drive builds up. For most adults, it takes about sixteen to eighteen hours of being awake to save enough in the piggy bank for a good quality sleep.
there is a crucial difference between tired and sleepy. Feeling tired means feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, “done with the day” … it’s your body and mind asking for rest, rejuvenation, or sometimes, just a change of scenery. In moments like these, the cure may be a nice stretch, a comforting cup of tea, or a walk in the park. Feeling sleepy means you’re close to falling asleep. That’s it. If your eyes are drooping and your head is involuntarily nodding, or you’ve been missing plot points in the movie you’re watching … you are sleepy. In this case, the cure is to sleep. You may very well be tired but not sleepy, and if that’s when you go to bed, you probably don’t have enough sleep drive in your piggy bank yet to pay for a good night’s sleep.
Sleep Sabotages:
Sabotage 1 - Going to bed to sleep too early
Sabotage #2: Lingering in Bed in the Morning
Sabotage #3: Alternating Between Short and Long Nights
Sabotage #4: Being Inactive During the Day (helps to build sleep drive)
we’re surprisingly bad at remembering nights other than last night and the worst night.
A healthy average sleep efficiency is usually between 85 percent and 95 percent.
taking naps would be like stealing a little bit every day from your own piggy bank, so it’s better to work through the urge and look forward to being sleepier at bedtime.
Caffeine molecules take up the same docking sites on brain cells that adenosine, the sleep drive chemical, docks. Therefore, having too much caffeine prevents adenosine from docking and letting your brain know how much sleep drive is accumulating, which tricks your brain into not feeling sleepy when you truly are.
people with insomnia have brains that are hyperaroused, during both the day and night, even when their actual sleep parameters seem healthy from the outside.
sleep duration is not associated with fatigue levels.Hyperarousal Does Lead to More Fatigue. person was more tired overall. This means it’s not the total amount of sleep that matters. It’s the consistency.In turn, ruminating about fatigue and having unhelpful sleep beliefs led to more fatigue. And frequently shining a spotlight on how tired you feel gives fatigue an outsized presence in your life, magnifying how bad it feels, and preventing you from having more fun, which makes you feel worse about your sleep, which makes you more hyperaroused, which makes your sleep worse. Prophecy fulfilled.
Circadian Dysregulation - every biological process in the body follows a roughly twenty-four-hour pattern, including when we sleep and when we wake. This complex system is directed by the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), which is like a maestro in your brain that makes sure a big orchestra of separate instruments all play in sync and on time. Your SCN is happiest when it knows what time it is and is therefore able to keep everything, including your sleep-wake rhythm, on time. “Circadian dysregulation” is a catch-all term to describe any situation where your SCN is confused about what time it is outside
being sedentary is associated with more fatigue, and that increasing physical activity leads to feeling more energized.
Challenge yourself to replace 25 percent of your passive media consumption time with simply being with yourself, and see what other feelings, thoughts, desires, and interactions arise.We’ve simply been taught to deprioritize rest, as if it’s useless, empty space between “productive” pursuits. But in truth, it’s the water between continents— the very thing that makes life possible. Embrace boredom. Get reacquainted with this feeling. Don’t automatically fill it with something “productive.” See what else you might drift toward as you get more bored. Doodling, perhaps, or people-watching in the park, or simply breathing.energy. The solution is simple: make sure you have protected time during the day to give your thoughts full attention.
1: Become Aware of Your Automatic Thoughts About Sleep
This mindfulness exercise can be done anywhere, anytime.
It’s particularly helpful when you feel yourself getting into a rumination spiral.
Simply pause and ask yourself,
What are 5 things I see around me?
What are 4 things I hear?
What are 3 things I can feel with my body?
What are 2 things I can smell?
What is 1 thing I can taste? (Replace with another thing you feel with your body, or an emotion, if you don’t have anything to taste.)
If your partner is a healthy sleeper, you’re being woken by them five and a half times per night, on average. If you have insomnia, you’re waking your partner up 6.9 times per night. If your partner has obstructive sleep apnea, they’re waking you up nine times per hour, and more if their apnea is severe. If you and your partner go to bed at the same time, you’re especially likely to interrupt each other’s sleep.
The Content on Your Screens (and on Your Mind) Likely Matters More Than the Light Exposure Itself Not all screens are equal.
Most people wake up feeling groggy, unmotivated, sluggish. This is called “sleep inertia” and is completely normal. It takes about half an hour of moving the body for our system to boot up. Sometimes you’ll sleep well and still be tired during the day. That’s because most things that cause fatigue are not sleep related. Remember to hydrate, eat well, move, socialize, rest, reflect, feed your creativity, and accept that being tired sometimes (or even often, if you’re a parent) is a normal part of the human condition. Some people will always have
Read
May 15, 2024🥲 hope it helps
April 27, 2023
Quotes:
"Healthy sleep comes from having a good relationship with sleep." (p. 16)
"Sleep is neither our master nor servant, neither the answer to our problems nor the blame for them." (p. 19)
"Fully half the night is supposed to be spent in this 'light' state of sleep." (p. 20)
"A healthy adult of about 35 to 65 years old wakes about 10 to 16 times per night." (p. 21)
"Remember that working WITH your body, instead of AGAINST, is always easier and healthier." (p. 31)
"I invite you to start feeling instead of thinking. Specifically, feel what 'sleepy' feels like... Know that by simply switching from a DOING mode to NOTICING mode, you have started your journey to restoring a healthy relationship with sleep!" (p. 33)
"Sleep deprivation makes people sleepy. If you have insomnia, your inability to sleep ... is direct proof that you are probably not sleep deprived." (p. 42)
"Tired = feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, etc.
Sleepy = you're about to fall asleep." (p. 42 footnote)
"Sleep hygiene is the placebo condition in many insomnia clinical trials because we know that it does not work for insomnia." (p. 49)
"Homeostatic sleep drive is your 'hunger' for sleep... For most adults, it takes about 16 to 18 hours of being awake to save enough in the piggy bank for a good quality sleep." (p. 72-73)
"There is a crucial difference between tired and sleepy. Feeling TIRED means feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, 'done with the day'... it's your body and mind asking for rest, rejuvenation, or sometimes, just a change of scenery. In moments like these, the cure may be a nice stretch, a comforting cup of tea, or a walk in the park.
Feeling SLEEPY means you're close to falling asleep. That's it. If your eyes are drooping and your head is involuntarily nodding, or you've been missing plot points in the movie you're watching... you are sleepy. In this case, the cure is to sleep." (p. 73)
"A healthy sleep efficiency is usually between 85 % and 95 %. This means that the vast majority of the time you're in bed, you're sleeping." (p. 82)
"... People with insomnia have brains that are hyperaroused, during both the day and night, even when their actual sleep parameters seem healthy from the outside." (p. 96)
"When you can't fall asleep (or fall back to sleep), get up and do something else." (p. 102)
"Sleepiness feels like:
- body feels heavy and relaxed
- dyes feel droopy, unfocused
- mind feels drifty, unfocused
Not sleep, even if tired:
- body feels restless, and you're aware of all its little sensations
- You have no trouble keeping your eyes open and focusing them enough to read.
- mind is clear and able to focus; you can follow logical trains of thought
- You're actively frustrated or anxious about sleep" (p. 104)
"When we measure real sleep, without bias, sleep duration is NOT associated with fatigue levels." (p. 119)
"Ruminating about fatigue and having unhelpful sleep beliefs led to more fatigue." (p. 122)
Other sources of fatigue: sedentariness, depression, stress, female, high BMI, inflammation, anemia, hormonal changes, menopause, illness, medication side effects, pain, poor nutrition (p. 123)
"Get lots of bright light during the day, especially first thing in the morning... Ideally, you want to spend time outside... get at least an hour total of outdoor time per day.
Keep things dim and low-key in the evenings.
Day vs. night contrast is key." (p. 125-126)
Physical activity (movement): walking, swimming, yoga, shopping (p. 128-129)
Light and movement leads to better sleep and feeling refreshed, energetic (p. 131)
"True rest is rejuvenating for your body and mind. It's not goal-oriented, and often, what you have to show for it at the end isn't quantifiable...:
walking, daydreaming, reading, birdwatching, listening to music, playing music, stretching, chatting, bathing, doing nails/hair, doodling, looking through sentimental pictures." (p. 142-143)
"We've simply been taught to deprioritize rest, as if it's useless, empty space between 'productive' pursuits. But in truth, it's the water between continents - the very thing that makes life possible. Learn to love it and prioritize it again." (p. 144)
"Set a boundary between 'work time' and 'off work time' in stone (e.g., work is between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM). Don't open your laptop during your 'off' time." (p. 145)
"Make sure you have protected time during the day to give your thoughts full attention:
keep a daily journal, engage in solo prayer, take long walks, make a mental litter box - choose a 30-minute block of time to set aside each day (combine with autopilot activity like a commute or doing dishes); during this time, worry as much as possible; at the end of the half hour, say, 'See you tomorrow, worries.' Defer worries to the next mental litter box time." (p. 147)
"Sort into two categories: 'Can Control' vs. 'Cannot Control.'
Tip: you can use your mental litter box for rumination, self-doubt, self-recrimination, overplanning, regret, etc." (p. 148)
"Give yourself a clear signal that the get-it-done day is over. Closing laptop, turning off lights, change into pajamas" (p. 149)
"During the wind-down period, do activities that are inherently pleasurable. Switching from DOING to BEING." (p. 149)
"The point is not to devise a 'perfect' wind-down routine that strictly maximizes relaxation, but to enjoy your evening and tell your brain that all is safe and well." (p. 151)
"Become aware of your automatic thoughts about sleep." (p. 163)
"Can't fall asleep - OK - Get up and read, feeling neutral" (p. 164)
"Keep asking 'So what?'" (p. 165)
"Ask yourself some questions:
1. Is this thought based in fact or in fear?
2. If this thought is a prediction, have there been times when this wasn't true? Are there counterexamples to my prediction?
3. If my prediction does come true, what's the worst that will come of it? How likely is that outcome? Will I be able to cope?
4. Am I putting too much pressure on my sleep? Am I unfairly blaming sleep or expecting too much?
5. What's a more fair, balanced, and accurate way to think about this situation?" (p. 167-168)
"Focus less on what's true vs. false, ... and more on what's helpful vs. unhelpful." (p. 173)
"Listen to your body and trust what it's telling you." (p. 175)
"When it comes to sleep, hard work often backfires." (p. 180)
"You can choose to accept reality (and say it out loud). That means to notice what is happening in the moment without analyzing, evaluating, or striving. It is simply to acknowledge that what is, is...
I'm awake.
My body is not sleepy right now.
I see...
I hear...
I feel...
I notice..." (p. 183)
"Ask yourself, 'What would I do in this situation if I didn't have insomnia in my life?'" (p. 184)
***** "Get out of your head and into your body.
We actually experience less pain and anxiety when we accept and allow those bodily sensations, instead of struggling against them in our minds." (p. 185-186)
The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise
The mindful breath
The body scan
"Put the clock or phone across the room and cover it up" (p. 190)
"Have realistic and fair expectations:
Remember, you're a human... not a robot.
You SHOULD be waking up a handful of times per night.
Everyone has insomnia sometimes.
Most people wake up feeling groggy, unmotivated, sluggish. This is called 'sleep inertia'... it takes about half an hour of moving the body for our system to boot up.
Sometimes you'll sleep well and still be tired during the day... most things that cause fatigue are not sleep related. Remember to hydrate, eat well, move, socialize, rest, reflect, feed your creativity...
Some people will always have an easier time with falling/staying asleep than you.
You don't need to have a perfect 'sleep score.'" (p. 253-254)
Let go of sleep effort..."Stop doing research about how to improve your sleep.
Don't plan your life around sleep.
Don't spend a lot of money on sleep.
Let go of sleep tracking gadgets.
Don't try to make yourself fall asleep." (p. 255-256)
"Think about sleep as a friend, instead of a problem to be fixed. When you treat something as a friend instead of a problem, you spend more time listening with curiosity rather than imposing your will, invest in more tender care instead of rigid expectations, and are more prone to forgive than to blame." (p. 339)
www.ConsensusSleepDiary.com for free sleep logs
"Healthy sleep comes from having a good relationship with sleep." (p. 16)
"Sleep is neither our master nor servant, neither the answer to our problems nor the blame for them." (p. 19)
"Fully half the night is supposed to be spent in this 'light' state of sleep." (p. 20)
"A healthy adult of about 35 to 65 years old wakes about 10 to 16 times per night." (p. 21)
"Remember that working WITH your body, instead of AGAINST, is always easier and healthier." (p. 31)
"I invite you to start feeling instead of thinking. Specifically, feel what 'sleepy' feels like... Know that by simply switching from a DOING mode to NOTICING mode, you have started your journey to restoring a healthy relationship with sleep!" (p. 33)
"Sleep deprivation makes people sleepy. If you have insomnia, your inability to sleep ... is direct proof that you are probably not sleep deprived." (p. 42)
"Tired = feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, etc.
Sleepy = you're about to fall asleep." (p. 42 footnote)
"Sleep hygiene is the placebo condition in many insomnia clinical trials because we know that it does not work for insomnia." (p. 49)
"Homeostatic sleep drive is your 'hunger' for sleep... For most adults, it takes about 16 to 18 hours of being awake to save enough in the piggy bank for a good quality sleep." (p. 72-73)
"There is a crucial difference between tired and sleepy. Feeling TIRED means feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, 'done with the day'... it's your body and mind asking for rest, rejuvenation, or sometimes, just a change of scenery. In moments like these, the cure may be a nice stretch, a comforting cup of tea, or a walk in the park.
Feeling SLEEPY means you're close to falling asleep. That's it. If your eyes are drooping and your head is involuntarily nodding, or you've been missing plot points in the movie you're watching... you are sleepy. In this case, the cure is to sleep." (p. 73)
"A healthy sleep efficiency is usually between 85 % and 95 %. This means that the vast majority of the time you're in bed, you're sleeping." (p. 82)
"... People with insomnia have brains that are hyperaroused, during both the day and night, even when their actual sleep parameters seem healthy from the outside." (p. 96)
"When you can't fall asleep (or fall back to sleep), get up and do something else." (p. 102)
"Sleepiness feels like:
- body feels heavy and relaxed
- dyes feel droopy, unfocused
- mind feels drifty, unfocused
Not sleep, even if tired:
- body feels restless, and you're aware of all its little sensations
- You have no trouble keeping your eyes open and focusing them enough to read.
- mind is clear and able to focus; you can follow logical trains of thought
- You're actively frustrated or anxious about sleep" (p. 104)
"When we measure real sleep, without bias, sleep duration is NOT associated with fatigue levels." (p. 119)
"Ruminating about fatigue and having unhelpful sleep beliefs led to more fatigue." (p. 122)
Other sources of fatigue: sedentariness, depression, stress, female, high BMI, inflammation, anemia, hormonal changes, menopause, illness, medication side effects, pain, poor nutrition (p. 123)
"Get lots of bright light during the day, especially first thing in the morning... Ideally, you want to spend time outside... get at least an hour total of outdoor time per day.
Keep things dim and low-key in the evenings.
Day vs. night contrast is key." (p. 125-126)
Physical activity (movement): walking, swimming, yoga, shopping (p. 128-129)
Light and movement leads to better sleep and feeling refreshed, energetic (p. 131)
"True rest is rejuvenating for your body and mind. It's not goal-oriented, and often, what you have to show for it at the end isn't quantifiable...:
walking, daydreaming, reading, birdwatching, listening to music, playing music, stretching, chatting, bathing, doing nails/hair, doodling, looking through sentimental pictures." (p. 142-143)
"We've simply been taught to deprioritize rest, as if it's useless, empty space between 'productive' pursuits. But in truth, it's the water between continents - the very thing that makes life possible. Learn to love it and prioritize it again." (p. 144)
"Set a boundary between 'work time' and 'off work time' in stone (e.g., work is between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM). Don't open your laptop during your 'off' time." (p. 145)
"Make sure you have protected time during the day to give your thoughts full attention:
keep a daily journal, engage in solo prayer, take long walks, make a mental litter box - choose a 30-minute block of time to set aside each day (combine with autopilot activity like a commute or doing dishes); during this time, worry as much as possible; at the end of the half hour, say, 'See you tomorrow, worries.' Defer worries to the next mental litter box time." (p. 147)
"Sort into two categories: 'Can Control' vs. 'Cannot Control.'
Tip: you can use your mental litter box for rumination, self-doubt, self-recrimination, overplanning, regret, etc." (p. 148)
"Give yourself a clear signal that the get-it-done day is over. Closing laptop, turning off lights, change into pajamas" (p. 149)
"During the wind-down period, do activities that are inherently pleasurable. Switching from DOING to BEING." (p. 149)
"The point is not to devise a 'perfect' wind-down routine that strictly maximizes relaxation, but to enjoy your evening and tell your brain that all is safe and well." (p. 151)
"Become aware of your automatic thoughts about sleep." (p. 163)
"Can't fall asleep - OK - Get up and read, feeling neutral" (p. 164)
"Keep asking 'So what?'" (p. 165)
"Ask yourself some questions:
1. Is this thought based in fact or in fear?
2. If this thought is a prediction, have there been times when this wasn't true? Are there counterexamples to my prediction?
3. If my prediction does come true, what's the worst that will come of it? How likely is that outcome? Will I be able to cope?
4. Am I putting too much pressure on my sleep? Am I unfairly blaming sleep or expecting too much?
5. What's a more fair, balanced, and accurate way to think about this situation?" (p. 167-168)
"Focus less on what's true vs. false, ... and more on what's helpful vs. unhelpful." (p. 173)
"Listen to your body and trust what it's telling you." (p. 175)
"When it comes to sleep, hard work often backfires." (p. 180)
"You can choose to accept reality (and say it out loud). That means to notice what is happening in the moment without analyzing, evaluating, or striving. It is simply to acknowledge that what is, is...
I'm awake.
My body is not sleepy right now.
I see...
I hear...
I feel...
I notice..." (p. 183)
"Ask yourself, 'What would I do in this situation if I didn't have insomnia in my life?'" (p. 184)
***** "Get out of your head and into your body.
We actually experience less pain and anxiety when we accept and allow those bodily sensations, instead of struggling against them in our minds." (p. 185-186)
The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise
The mindful breath
The body scan
"Put the clock or phone across the room and cover it up" (p. 190)
"Have realistic and fair expectations:
Remember, you're a human... not a robot.
You SHOULD be waking up a handful of times per night.
Everyone has insomnia sometimes.
Most people wake up feeling groggy, unmotivated, sluggish. This is called 'sleep inertia'... it takes about half an hour of moving the body for our system to boot up.
Sometimes you'll sleep well and still be tired during the day... most things that cause fatigue are not sleep related. Remember to hydrate, eat well, move, socialize, rest, reflect, feed your creativity...
Some people will always have an easier time with falling/staying asleep than you.
You don't need to have a perfect 'sleep score.'" (p. 253-254)
Let go of sleep effort..."Stop doing research about how to improve your sleep.
Don't plan your life around sleep.
Don't spend a lot of money on sleep.
Let go of sleep tracking gadgets.
Don't try to make yourself fall asleep." (p. 255-256)
"Think about sleep as a friend, instead of a problem to be fixed. When you treat something as a friend instead of a problem, you spend more time listening with curiosity rather than imposing your will, invest in more tender care instead of rigid expectations, and are more prone to forgive than to blame." (p. 339)
www.ConsensusSleepDiary.com for free sleep logs
January 5, 2023
This was a very interesting read that provides a lot of ideas about overcoming the issue of insomnia. It moves along really great and the information is provided in a really great way. This book will be a valuable resource for those people who suffer from insomnia as well as for those who know someone who does. This is a great resource book to have on hand.
November 6, 2023
A comprehensive guide to combating insomnia through lifestyle changes without medication.
Sleep is an essential component of our lives, influencing our productivity, motivation, and overall well-being. It ensures our bodies and minds are rejuvenated, and protects us from a myriad of health issues.
Unfortunately, insomnia affects about 10% of the global population, leaving many individuals longing for restful nights.
In ‘Hello Sleep,’ a practical and comprehensive guide, Dr. Jade Wu provides valuable insights and actionable strategies to enhance the quality of our sleep. With its wealth of knowledge, this book promises to steer us towards better sleep habits, enabling us to reap the numerous benefits of a good night’s rest.
Author’s background
Dr. Jade Wu, PhD, DBSM, is a highly regarded psychologist specialising in behavioural sleep medicine. As a researcher at Duke University School of Medicine, she is committed to enhancing our understanding of sleep.
Dr. Wu’s expertise has made her a sought-after author, speaker, and scientific consultant, with appearances on prominent media platforms such as NPR, ABC, the New York Times, and the Huffington Post. With a passionate mission to promote healthy sleep habits, Dr. Wu aims to share the invaluable gift of quality sleep with everyone.
What is the book about?
‘Hello Sleep’ is a book penned by Dr. Jade Wu, a seasoned sleep specialist who has dedicated years to helping patients conquer insomnia. This book serves as a practical guide for insomniacs, providing step-by-step instructions to escape the clutches of sleeplessness, while also offering accessible insights into the scientific research supporting a fresh perspective on our relationship with sleep. Dr. Wu firmly believes that by reevaluating our waking hours, we can unlock the key to restful slumber, all without relying on medications.
The book is divided into four sections, each offering a systematic approach to improving sleep. From ‘Get to Know Your Sleep’ to ‘The Big Reset,’ ‘Going Deeper Into The Relationship,’ and ‘Changes and Challenges In Your Relationship with Sleep,’ the chapters are designed to be comprehended easily, featuring helpful diagrams, checklists, and engaging subsections. To conclude each chapter, a concise summary called ‘Bottom Line’ captures the main takeaways.
In addressing various treatments for insomnia, including prescription drugs, ‘Hello Sleep’ takes a cautious approach. The book offers clear insights into the side effects and possible interactions associated with medications, providing readers with easily understandable research studies. Chapter 10, titled ‘Trusting Sleep: How to Get Off Sleep Medications,’ tackles common questions about insomnia drugs, offering a thoughtful assessment of risks and benefits, as well as guidance on gradually reducing medication use.
Dr. Wu emphasises that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to insomnia and underscores that ‘Hello Sleep’ is a comprehensive program requiring readers to absorb the entire book to tailor the strategies to their needs. While acknowledging the wealth of resources available online and in print for insomnia treatment, the book provides a behavioural science framework that empowers readers to understand and improve their relationship with sleep.
Key takeaways from ‘Hello Sleep’
1. Exposure to light can affect sleep quality
The use of screens in the evening can affect sleep due to the impact of bright light on melatonin release. The brain’s circadian clock uses light as a signal for sleep and wakefulness, and excessive evening screen use can disrupt this process. Studies have shown that increased screen exposure in the evenings is associated with poorer sleep quality and daytime functioning. However, the effects of evening light exposure can be mitigated by getting sufficient bright light during the day, using blue light-blocking glasses, and engaging in fulfilling activities before bed. It’s important to find a balance between screen use and non-media activities, considering personal preferences and content that adds to overall well-being.
2. You should be flexible and forgiving rather than overbearing when it comes to sleep
The book promotes building healthy relationships with your sleep. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, and it’s important to be flexible and forgiving instead of fixating on imperfections. This mindset is especially crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship with sleep, particularly for those prone to insomnia. Letting go of perfectionism and rigid expectations is key. Avoid researching sleep improvement excessively, as it can lead to misinformation and unnecessary sleep effort. Don’t plan your life solely around sleep, as occasional disruptions won’t significantly impact your overall sleep health. Avoid spending excessive money on sleep-related products or gadgets, as they can create unrealistic expectations. Let go of sleep-tracking gadgets and trust your own sleep patterns. Most importantly, don’t try to force yourself to fall asleep; if sleep eludes you, engage in enjoyable activities instead of persistently pursuing sleep.
3. By calming down the ‘racing mind,’ we can alleviate insomnia
When insomnia is accompanied by a ‘racing mind,’ it makes it even more exhausting and frustrating. However, there are steps you can take to quiet your mind. Firstly, make changes during the day to give your thoughts attention. This includes allowing your brain to process thoughts, ensuring adequate daytime rest, and having a proper wind-down routine before bedtime. To address racing thoughts, you have several options. Keeping a journal can help you unload your stream of consciousness without worrying about the quality of your writing. Engaging in solo prayer provides an opportunity for honest reflection. Taking long walks allows your mind to wander along with your feet, and you can even think out loud as you walk. Lastly, creating a mental litter box can be helpful for those prone to worry or rumination, giving your mind a designated time and space to address concerns.
Strengths and weaknesses, according to readers’ reviews
Strengths:
• Thoroughly researched and evidence-based, debunking common misconceptions about sleep.
• Clear, engaging, and accessible writing style, making complex concepts easy to understand.
• Well-organised structure, with each chapter focusing on specific aspects of sleep and providing practical guidance.
• Empathetic and non-judgmental approach, acknowledging individual differences in sleep needs and offering reassurance.
• A practical and helpful guide for tackling insomnia, providing effective strategies.
Weaknesses:
• Certain insights and recommendations were obvious or common knowledge.
• Not comprehensive enough in addressing specific sleep challenges, such as sleep difficulties during pregnancy or among older individuals.
• The inclusion of a ‘Hello Sleep Plan’ primarily tailored to the author’s private clients may not fully cater to the general readership.
Best quotes from ‘Hello Sleep’
"Sleep hygiene is the placebo condition in many insomnia clinical trials because we know that it does not work for insomnia.”
"There is a crucial difference between tired and sleepy. Feeling TIRED means feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, 'done with the day'... it's your body and mind asking for rest, rejuvenation, or sometimes, just a change of scenery. In moments like these, the cure may be a nice stretch, a comforting cup of tea, or a walk in the park. Feeling SLEEPY means you're close to falling asleep. That's it. If your eyes are drooping and your head is involuntarily nodding, or you've been missing plot points in the movie you're watching... you are sleepy. In this case, the cure is to sleep."
"A healthy sleep efficiency is usually between 85 % and 95 %. This means that the vast majority of the time you're in bed, you're sleeping.”
Final takeaway
For those who find themselves scuffling from insomnia, ‘Hello Sleep’ proves to be an invaluable resource, offering a holistic and personalised approach to finding long-term solutions. It encourages readers to consider the broader picture and make informed decisions about their sleep health, empowering them to regain control of their slumber. Dr. Jade Wu provides practical insights and actionable strategies to enhance the quality of sleep.
With its comprehensive guidance, this book serves as a compassionate guide to combating insomnia, offering a welcomed resource for readers struggling to get enough quality sleep.
Sleep is an essential component of our lives, influencing our productivity, motivation, and overall well-being. It ensures our bodies and minds are rejuvenated, and protects us from a myriad of health issues.
Unfortunately, insomnia affects about 10% of the global population, leaving many individuals longing for restful nights.
In ‘Hello Sleep,’ a practical and comprehensive guide, Dr. Jade Wu provides valuable insights and actionable strategies to enhance the quality of our sleep. With its wealth of knowledge, this book promises to steer us towards better sleep habits, enabling us to reap the numerous benefits of a good night’s rest.
Author’s background
Dr. Jade Wu, PhD, DBSM, is a highly regarded psychologist specialising in behavioural sleep medicine. As a researcher at Duke University School of Medicine, she is committed to enhancing our understanding of sleep.
Dr. Wu’s expertise has made her a sought-after author, speaker, and scientific consultant, with appearances on prominent media platforms such as NPR, ABC, the New York Times, and the Huffington Post. With a passionate mission to promote healthy sleep habits, Dr. Wu aims to share the invaluable gift of quality sleep with everyone.
What is the book about?
‘Hello Sleep’ is a book penned by Dr. Jade Wu, a seasoned sleep specialist who has dedicated years to helping patients conquer insomnia. This book serves as a practical guide for insomniacs, providing step-by-step instructions to escape the clutches of sleeplessness, while also offering accessible insights into the scientific research supporting a fresh perspective on our relationship with sleep. Dr. Wu firmly believes that by reevaluating our waking hours, we can unlock the key to restful slumber, all without relying on medications.
The book is divided into four sections, each offering a systematic approach to improving sleep. From ‘Get to Know Your Sleep’ to ‘The Big Reset,’ ‘Going Deeper Into The Relationship,’ and ‘Changes and Challenges In Your Relationship with Sleep,’ the chapters are designed to be comprehended easily, featuring helpful diagrams, checklists, and engaging subsections. To conclude each chapter, a concise summary called ‘Bottom Line’ captures the main takeaways.
In addressing various treatments for insomnia, including prescription drugs, ‘Hello Sleep’ takes a cautious approach. The book offers clear insights into the side effects and possible interactions associated with medications, providing readers with easily understandable research studies. Chapter 10, titled ‘Trusting Sleep: How to Get Off Sleep Medications,’ tackles common questions about insomnia drugs, offering a thoughtful assessment of risks and benefits, as well as guidance on gradually reducing medication use.
Dr. Wu emphasises that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to insomnia and underscores that ‘Hello Sleep’ is a comprehensive program requiring readers to absorb the entire book to tailor the strategies to their needs. While acknowledging the wealth of resources available online and in print for insomnia treatment, the book provides a behavioural science framework that empowers readers to understand and improve their relationship with sleep.
Key takeaways from ‘Hello Sleep’
1. Exposure to light can affect sleep quality
The use of screens in the evening can affect sleep due to the impact of bright light on melatonin release. The brain’s circadian clock uses light as a signal for sleep and wakefulness, and excessive evening screen use can disrupt this process. Studies have shown that increased screen exposure in the evenings is associated with poorer sleep quality and daytime functioning. However, the effects of evening light exposure can be mitigated by getting sufficient bright light during the day, using blue light-blocking glasses, and engaging in fulfilling activities before bed. It’s important to find a balance between screen use and non-media activities, considering personal preferences and content that adds to overall well-being.
2. You should be flexible and forgiving rather than overbearing when it comes to sleep
The book promotes building healthy relationships with your sleep. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, and it’s important to be flexible and forgiving instead of fixating on imperfections. This mindset is especially crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship with sleep, particularly for those prone to insomnia. Letting go of perfectionism and rigid expectations is key. Avoid researching sleep improvement excessively, as it can lead to misinformation and unnecessary sleep effort. Don’t plan your life solely around sleep, as occasional disruptions won’t significantly impact your overall sleep health. Avoid spending excessive money on sleep-related products or gadgets, as they can create unrealistic expectations. Let go of sleep-tracking gadgets and trust your own sleep patterns. Most importantly, don’t try to force yourself to fall asleep; if sleep eludes you, engage in enjoyable activities instead of persistently pursuing sleep.
3. By calming down the ‘racing mind,’ we can alleviate insomnia
When insomnia is accompanied by a ‘racing mind,’ it makes it even more exhausting and frustrating. However, there are steps you can take to quiet your mind. Firstly, make changes during the day to give your thoughts attention. This includes allowing your brain to process thoughts, ensuring adequate daytime rest, and having a proper wind-down routine before bedtime. To address racing thoughts, you have several options. Keeping a journal can help you unload your stream of consciousness without worrying about the quality of your writing. Engaging in solo prayer provides an opportunity for honest reflection. Taking long walks allows your mind to wander along with your feet, and you can even think out loud as you walk. Lastly, creating a mental litter box can be helpful for those prone to worry or rumination, giving your mind a designated time and space to address concerns.
Strengths and weaknesses, according to readers’ reviews
Strengths:
• Thoroughly researched and evidence-based, debunking common misconceptions about sleep.
• Clear, engaging, and accessible writing style, making complex concepts easy to understand.
• Well-organised structure, with each chapter focusing on specific aspects of sleep and providing practical guidance.
• Empathetic and non-judgmental approach, acknowledging individual differences in sleep needs and offering reassurance.
• A practical and helpful guide for tackling insomnia, providing effective strategies.
Weaknesses:
• Certain insights and recommendations were obvious or common knowledge.
• Not comprehensive enough in addressing specific sleep challenges, such as sleep difficulties during pregnancy or among older individuals.
• The inclusion of a ‘Hello Sleep Plan’ primarily tailored to the author’s private clients may not fully cater to the general readership.
Best quotes from ‘Hello Sleep’
"Sleep hygiene is the placebo condition in many insomnia clinical trials because we know that it does not work for insomnia.”
"There is a crucial difference between tired and sleepy. Feeling TIRED means feeling worn out, depleted, exhausted, bored, low energy, 'done with the day'... it's your body and mind asking for rest, rejuvenation, or sometimes, just a change of scenery. In moments like these, the cure may be a nice stretch, a comforting cup of tea, or a walk in the park. Feeling SLEEPY means you're close to falling asleep. That's it. If your eyes are drooping and your head is involuntarily nodding, or you've been missing plot points in the movie you're watching... you are sleepy. In this case, the cure is to sleep."
"A healthy sleep efficiency is usually between 85 % and 95 %. This means that the vast majority of the time you're in bed, you're sleeping.”
Final takeaway
For those who find themselves scuffling from insomnia, ‘Hello Sleep’ proves to be an invaluable resource, offering a holistic and personalised approach to finding long-term solutions. It encourages readers to consider the broader picture and make informed decisions about their sleep health, empowering them to regain control of their slumber. Dr. Jade Wu provides practical insights and actionable strategies to enhance the quality of sleep.
With its comprehensive guidance, this book serves as a compassionate guide to combating insomnia, offering a welcomed resource for readers struggling to get enough quality sleep.
October 25, 2023
I took a long time to read this book and had to check it out a few different times. I actually didn’t think it was very good. Mostly everything that talks about has already been said in other places about sleep. The one thing that I did, like, even though it was very inconsistent, was almost surrendering to being an insomniac And letting go of the anxiety. I don’t think this is actually possible for people who are not retired. It’s hard to function go to work, etc. when you don’t get enough sleep. But it is now the only strategy that I can embrace after years of trying to be a good sleeper. mostly I gave three stars to this because I would read it only when I was going to sleep and many times it put me to sleep. I wanted to finish it in case I would learn something new. I wouldn’t recommend it.
Read
March 28, 2024Library audiobook. I actually DNF’d this one for now. I think this plan seems to have some good recommendations but to be honest it’s way too much work for my lower level of insomnia. I just wasn’t willing to put in all the work of journaling, etc. I may go back to this book eventually
August 6, 2025
I first picked up Say Goodnight to Insomnia because I had been struggling with falling asleep and waking up during the night without being able to go back to sleep. Chronic lower back pain also made my sleep torture. I thought it would be just a practical guide on "how to fall asleep quickly." To my surprise, it turned out to be a gentle yet profound book that made me feel truly seen—not only in terms of my sleep issues, but also the subtle symptoms of my Complex PTSD (CPTSD) that I had been vaguely aware of.
What touched me most was that the book was written by a female author who, with great sincerity and humility, turned her focus to a long-overlooked reality: women are more likely than men to suffer from insomnia, yet women’s sleep health has rarely been systematically studied. The author points out that women are 1.5 times more likely than men to experience insomnia, and that hormonal changes, menstrual cycles, pregnancy, and caregiving stress are all important, women-specific factors that have long been absent from mainstream research. The book was written during her own pregnancy—not from the stance of an “expert,” but more like a gentle guide who, with warmth and conviction, helps readers understand the psychological mechanisms behind insomnia.
She also acknowledges that most sleep research to date has been conducted on highly educated white men, which is a regrettable bias in itself. She emphasizes that sleep issues are not only personal struggles but public health issues, and that minorities and women are often systematically overlooked.
The sentence that moved me the most comes at the end of the book:
"When you treat something as a friend instead of a problem, you spend more time listening to it with curiosity rather than trying to impose your will on it."
That really hit home. If I think of my relationship with sleep as a close relationship, I must admit I’ve handled it very poorly. I treated it with control, anxiety, and force, instead of trust, listening, and relaxation. Say Goodnight to Insomnia helped me unlearn many misconceptions about sleep. And during the process of reading, I’ve already felt a subtle shift in my relationship with sleep.
Here are a few of my key takeaways:
1. A shift in mindset is the first step
“Fatigue” ≠ “Sleepiness”
“Insomnia” ≠ “Sleep deprivation”
This was one of the most eye-opening insights in the book.
We often mistake fatigue for sleepiness, and then try to force ourselves to fall asleep, only to achieve the opposite effect. Fatigue is a psychological or physical sense of tiredness, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the body is ready for sleep. Sleepiness, on the other hand, is a natural biological signal—like when your eyelids feel too heavy to keep open.
Many people with insomnia are not actually sleep-deprived—they’re just trying too hard to sleep, which activates the nervous system and disrupts the natural rhythm of falling asleep.
2. Give sleep back to the body, not the mind
The author repeatedly emphasizes: “Get out of your head, and into your body.”
We need to practice listening to what our body really needs, rather than bombarding it with mental commands like “You should be asleep by now.” Occasional disruptions are nothing to fear. What matters more is maintaining flexibility and self-compassion rather than rigid rules and anxiety.
3. Sleep is not a task—it’s a relationship
Our relationship with sleep needs to be nurtured—not with force, but with trust and healing. Anxiety, perfectionism, and control are the toxins that damage this relationship.
Lastly, some of the practical suggestions in the book were simple yet effective:
Get more sunlight: It helps regulate your natural circadian rhythm.
Exercise regularly: No need for intensity—just consistency.
Learn how to really rest: Not through instant gratification (like binge-watching or overeating), but by truly calming the body and nervous system.
Many of us are “busy” all the time in our high-functioning lives, but have never truly experienced rest.
What touched me most was that the book was written by a female author who, with great sincerity and humility, turned her focus to a long-overlooked reality: women are more likely than men to suffer from insomnia, yet women’s sleep health has rarely been systematically studied. The author points out that women are 1.5 times more likely than men to experience insomnia, and that hormonal changes, menstrual cycles, pregnancy, and caregiving stress are all important, women-specific factors that have long been absent from mainstream research. The book was written during her own pregnancy—not from the stance of an “expert,” but more like a gentle guide who, with warmth and conviction, helps readers understand the psychological mechanisms behind insomnia.
She also acknowledges that most sleep research to date has been conducted on highly educated white men, which is a regrettable bias in itself. She emphasizes that sleep issues are not only personal struggles but public health issues, and that minorities and women are often systematically overlooked.
The sentence that moved me the most comes at the end of the book:
"When you treat something as a friend instead of a problem, you spend more time listening to it with curiosity rather than trying to impose your will on it."
That really hit home. If I think of my relationship with sleep as a close relationship, I must admit I’ve handled it very poorly. I treated it with control, anxiety, and force, instead of trust, listening, and relaxation. Say Goodnight to Insomnia helped me unlearn many misconceptions about sleep. And during the process of reading, I’ve already felt a subtle shift in my relationship with sleep.
Here are a few of my key takeaways:
1. A shift in mindset is the first step
“Fatigue” ≠ “Sleepiness”
“Insomnia” ≠ “Sleep deprivation”
This was one of the most eye-opening insights in the book.
We often mistake fatigue for sleepiness, and then try to force ourselves to fall asleep, only to achieve the opposite effect. Fatigue is a psychological or physical sense of tiredness, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the body is ready for sleep. Sleepiness, on the other hand, is a natural biological signal—like when your eyelids feel too heavy to keep open.
Many people with insomnia are not actually sleep-deprived—they’re just trying too hard to sleep, which activates the nervous system and disrupts the natural rhythm of falling asleep.
2. Give sleep back to the body, not the mind
The author repeatedly emphasizes: “Get out of your head, and into your body.”
We need to practice listening to what our body really needs, rather than bombarding it with mental commands like “You should be asleep by now.” Occasional disruptions are nothing to fear. What matters more is maintaining flexibility and self-compassion rather than rigid rules and anxiety.
3. Sleep is not a task—it’s a relationship
Our relationship with sleep needs to be nurtured—not with force, but with trust and healing. Anxiety, perfectionism, and control are the toxins that damage this relationship.
Lastly, some of the practical suggestions in the book were simple yet effective:
Get more sunlight: It helps regulate your natural circadian rhythm.
Exercise regularly: No need for intensity—just consistency.
Learn how to really rest: Not through instant gratification (like binge-watching or overeating), but by truly calming the body and nervous system.
Many of us are “busy” all the time in our high-functioning lives, but have never truly experienced rest.
February 7, 2024
How to Sleep Better. A gentle & reassuring book, characterizing the sleep relationship as a friendship that thrives on loving development. Based on the latest knowledge in the field, this book is rooted in current medical literature & research. The writing-style is inviting, friendly & accessible. Sometimes it languishes into fuzzy blurriness, w/oft-repeated phrases suggesting that there's really no true way to quantify good sleep, which is a bit frustrating. Ultimately, Jade Wu presents the reader w/concrete suggestions, including a specific several-weeks long program for sleep rehabilitation (kicking off w/"The Big Reset"), which, though helpful, I found at times to be overly detailed & cumbersome, w/a heavy OCD-like, analytical emphasis on recording & crunching bedtime statistics via in-depth charting. Instead, I tried a modified version, which is slightly less obsessive. The author introduces helpful paradigms, such as the concept of "sleep drive" (an emphasis on what we do to promote nighttime sleep via daytime activities). I found this approach to be a fantastic reframe, almost revolutionizing the more commonly prevailing views (ie; efforts to force ourselves into reformed sleep-hygiene habits, to "try" to sleep better during bedtime). She addresses Circadian Rhythms. She discourages the self-defeating practices involved in "sleep effort," which she warns will lead to "conditional arousal" (our tendency to stay in bed, "trying" to sleep, which simply reinforces the negative association between bed & insomnia). She instead suggests other interesting activities to punctuate bedtime with & even offers permission for oft-forbidden things: such as briefly watching TV, or doing light exercises (read & learn her rationales). She offers strategies for reducing everyday anxiety which can keep the mind overstimulated at night (ie; the "Mental Litter Box" technique & also "my Pocket Socrates," a socratic method of interrogating & challenging counteproductive thoughts causing poor sleep). She provides some useful relaxation techniques. I didn't like some of her more radical suggestions (ie; sleep in your own bedroom away from your partner?); but fortunately there are very few of this kind of extreme solution presented & all her recommendations are offered in a respectful tone w/extraordinary sensitivity & awareness of individual differences. There's a heavy emphasis on cognitive theories underpinning many of her recommendations, which I find helpful. The author is qualified, likable & compassionate. I respect her. She has lots of ingenuity & insight around her subject. Loved this book, didn't want to finish. Reading it is like an awakening (no pun intended), to a whole new way of cultivating satisfying sleep.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews