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Hestia Strikes a Match
Christine Grillo's Hestia Strikes a Match is the slyly funny story of a woman looking for love and friendship in the midst of a new American civil war.
Unionists against Confederates, children against parents, friends against friends: The year is 2023 and the United States has collapsed into another bloody civil war. Hestia Harris is forty, newly single by virtue of abandonment for the Union cause, and her parents are absconding to the Confederacy. She is adrift, save for her coworkers at the retirement village and her best friend, Mildred, an eighty-four-year-old resident, who gleefully supports Hestia's somewhat half-hearted but nonetheless hopeful attempts to find love in a time of chaos and disunion. Let's Not Date a Confederate! Hestia avers as her parents put up a sign proclaiming Make Liberals Feel Sad and Mildred reminds her It'll pass . . . It always does.
For fans of Maria Semple, Andrew Sean Greer, Ling Ma, and Gail Honeyman, Christine Grillo's Hestia Strikes a Match is an irreverent, incisive, laugh-out-loud interrogation of modern love of all kinds, in all its messy beauty. As it fills your heart to fend off despair, it asks the seemingly ever-relevant question: How do you embrace an entire life when the whole world is breaking into bits and madness?
Unionists against Confederates, children against parents, friends against friends: The year is 2023 and the United States has collapsed into another bloody civil war. Hestia Harris is forty, newly single by virtue of abandonment for the Union cause, and her parents are absconding to the Confederacy. She is adrift, save for her coworkers at the retirement village and her best friend, Mildred, an eighty-four-year-old resident, who gleefully supports Hestia's somewhat half-hearted but nonetheless hopeful attempts to find love in a time of chaos and disunion. Let's Not Date a Confederate! Hestia avers as her parents put up a sign proclaiming Make Liberals Feel Sad and Mildred reminds her It'll pass . . . It always does.
For fans of Maria Semple, Andrew Sean Greer, Ling Ma, and Gail Honeyman, Christine Grillo's Hestia Strikes a Match is an irreverent, incisive, laugh-out-loud interrogation of modern love of all kinds, in all its messy beauty. As it fills your heart to fend off despair, it asks the seemingly ever-relevant question: How do you embrace an entire life when the whole world is breaking into bits and madness?
386 pages, Hardcover
First published April 18, 2023
81 people are currently reading
9711 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 357 reviews
October 30, 2024
Hestia Strikes a Match may not have been the best choice to read at the moment – October 2024, days before the U.S. presidential election – considering how the subject matter of the book is so politically charged. It did nothing to relieve my election anxiety, instead only inflamed it.
But in a way, this is a credit to Christine Grillo. Because the alternate 2023 she has created in the book feels too real. It’s as if she’s taken every hot-button issue that the country is fighting about and walks it a few steps further, painting a different USA, one in the midst of a second Civil War and split into two divisive nations. And then she plops Hestia into it, an early forty-something woman who’s experiencing a second coming of age, who’s attempting to navigate the dating world during a war and dealing with aging parents and the ideological rift between them – and somehow manages to turn it all into a smart, razor-sharp, and endearing read.
The book is it’s own animal. It’s an incisive and mature exploration into a woman looking for love in midlife; it’s an intelligent liberal political statement (if you don’t like politics in your books, then stay away); it’s an irreverent and humorous look at dating.
It’s a lot of things, and I can’t recall another book quite like it.
My sincerest appreciation to Christine Grillo, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and NetGalley for the digital review copy. All opinions included herein are my own.
But in a way, this is a credit to Christine Grillo. Because the alternate 2023 she has created in the book feels too real. It’s as if she’s taken every hot-button issue that the country is fighting about and walks it a few steps further, painting a different USA, one in the midst of a second Civil War and split into two divisive nations. And then she plops Hestia into it, an early forty-something woman who’s experiencing a second coming of age, who’s attempting to navigate the dating world during a war and dealing with aging parents and the ideological rift between them – and somehow manages to turn it all into a smart, razor-sharp, and endearing read.
The book is it’s own animal. It’s an incisive and mature exploration into a woman looking for love in midlife; it’s an intelligent liberal political statement (if you don’t like politics in your books, then stay away); it’s an irreverent and humorous look at dating.
It’s a lot of things, and I can’t recall another book quite like it.
My sincerest appreciation to Christine Grillo, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and NetGalley for the digital review copy. All opinions included herein are my own.
May 12, 2024
In a world where a new Civil War is brewing, this book tries to be too much and too soon. While I don't have to suspend my disbelief in order to believe this can happen, many parts felt heavy-handed.
Hestia's friends at the retirement village were my favorite part of the book. I was disinterested in her love interests. I hated her Confederate supporting parents, because I recognize in them so many boomers from the South.
🎧 Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio
Hestia's friends at the retirement village were my favorite part of the book. I was disinterested in her love interests. I hated her Confederate supporting parents, because I recognize in them so many boomers from the South.
🎧 Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio
July 3, 2023
This is an incredibly brave and fascinating and funny and truthful book. The observations about how we Americans live today are painfully accurate. It was a little too nihilistic for me to love, though. It left me feeling such despair. This moody residue it left me feeling is in itself an achievement, especially in a novel that never once lets up on its brightly optimistic tone.
October 23, 2022
This book delighted me, made me laugh out loud many times, made me think about my family and my friendships and my country, and even made me a little teary. The premise is terrifying in how real it is--a second Civil War for the US--and Grillo does an amazing job with the world-building. But what I loved most is Hestia's voice. She's quirky, smart, infuriating at times, broken, needy, wise, and funny as hell. I wanted to reach in through the pages and bonk her over the head and then have a drink with her. It's funny because so much of the book's throughline (and pages) relates to Hestia's many relationships/boyfriends, but for me, the real story was how Hestia grieved the loss of her pre-war family and built a new one. Heartbreaking, hilarious, and lovely, all at the same time.
March 17, 2023
Every date, every drink with a friend—it was a risk. But what else could you do? Civil war or no, you still need to meet friends, and you still want the thrill of a first kiss. Pipe bombs can kill you quickly, but loneliness will kill you slowly. Life is a near-constant calculation of risks.
In the alternate universe of Christine Grillo’s Hestia Strikes a Match, America is in the middle of its second civil war, between the Union and the New Confederated States of America. In Hestia Harris’ Baltimore neighborhood—like many others—terrorist attacks of various sizes are regular occurrences, nightly curfews are set, and it’s best to check your Conflicted app for news alerts and your Safe Zones app for local disruptions before going outside. In addition to navigating this chaotic, divided, and sometimes violent world, 40-something and newly single Hestia ventures onto the dating landscape (and it’s an understandably complicated one here).
Grillo does an excellent job with the world-building. She believably and intriguingly depicts a city where people are living their normal daily lives, but normalcy now includes checking apps regularly for your safety, gas for your car isn’t a guarantee, and things like Kentucky bourbon and cigarettes are black-market goods because they’re produced across enemy lines. Grillo is great with characterization as well. With a protagonist like Hestia—separated from a husband who has gone off to fight for a Union paramilitary group, somewhat estranged from Confederate-sympathizing parents, and semi-retired from freelance writing and now working at a retirement home—it would have been easy to write a story about a depressed, lonely woman struggling in her environment or, worse, a plucky, quirky heroine trying to make the best of her circumstances. But instead, she is complex, flawed yet self-aware, and therefore relatable.
Sometimes Hestia is reclusive and feels sorry for herself, but for the most part, she gets out of her apartment and tries. She goes to work. She develops friendships with her co-workers and the retirement home residents. She dates and makes good and bad romantic decisions (mostly bad). She is a strong and interesting protagonist in a unique, engaging story that balances well between wry observations of gender dynamics, family relationships, and a charged political climate and tender reflections on love, happiness, and humanity.
Thank you to NetGalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
In the alternate universe of Christine Grillo’s Hestia Strikes a Match, America is in the middle of its second civil war, between the Union and the New Confederated States of America. In Hestia Harris’ Baltimore neighborhood—like many others—terrorist attacks of various sizes are regular occurrences, nightly curfews are set, and it’s best to check your Conflicted app for news alerts and your Safe Zones app for local disruptions before going outside. In addition to navigating this chaotic, divided, and sometimes violent world, 40-something and newly single Hestia ventures onto the dating landscape (and it’s an understandably complicated one here).
Grillo does an excellent job with the world-building. She believably and intriguingly depicts a city where people are living their normal daily lives, but normalcy now includes checking apps regularly for your safety, gas for your car isn’t a guarantee, and things like Kentucky bourbon and cigarettes are black-market goods because they’re produced across enemy lines. Grillo is great with characterization as well. With a protagonist like Hestia—separated from a husband who has gone off to fight for a Union paramilitary group, somewhat estranged from Confederate-sympathizing parents, and semi-retired from freelance writing and now working at a retirement home—it would have been easy to write a story about a depressed, lonely woman struggling in her environment or, worse, a plucky, quirky heroine trying to make the best of her circumstances. But instead, she is complex, flawed yet self-aware, and therefore relatable.
Sometimes Hestia is reclusive and feels sorry for herself, but for the most part, she gets out of her apartment and tries. She goes to work. She develops friendships with her co-workers and the retirement home residents. She dates and makes good and bad romantic decisions (mostly bad). She is a strong and interesting protagonist in a unique, engaging story that balances well between wry observations of gender dynamics, family relationships, and a charged political climate and tender reflections on love, happiness, and humanity.
Thank you to NetGalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
August 8, 2023
The most intimate relationship of my life would be my relationship with me -- which was wildly unappealing. This is why people believe in gods, so we can have intimate relationships with them instead of ourselves.
Christine Grillo really said, "I'm going to write a mid-life coming-of-age novel, but I'm going to set it in the midst of a second American Civil War." I respect her boldness, and I was impressed by the results.
In the 2023 of Hestia Strikes a Match, it's once again the Union against the Confederacy, and our forty-something narrator Hestia's husband has abandoned her to fight for the Union cause. A former journalist, Hestia gets a job at a retirement community, where she develops friendships with her co-workers and the residents -- especially Mildred, a fiery 84-year-old who becomes her closest confidant. While the country crumbles into chaos around her and her parents make a plan to move to the Confederacy, Hestia embarks on a mission to find love amongst the ruins.
Hestia Strikes a Match is such a fascinating and brave book that strikes a perfect balance between humor, heart, and social commentary. Christine Grillo's world-building is impressive and believable. In the alternate-universe Baltimore of this novel, she depicts people going about their lives in the midst of war: checking safety apps for war activity in various areas of the city, dealing with gas shortages and power outages and protests, paying up-market prices for Confederate-produced products like cigarettes and bourbon.
While the Civil War is a constant source of stress and conversation for the characters, it takes a back seat in the narrative to Hestia's own experiences and relationships. Hestia Strikes a Match is a character study more than anything else, as Hestia navigates the dating world, her fraught relationship with her parents, a charged political climate, her career, and her friendships. She is a complex and flawed protagonist, self-aware and strong and relatable. Her sweet friendship with Mildred was the highlight of the story for me.
Grillo manages to maintain an optimistic tone to the story, even though it veers into sobering territory. It's irreverently funny at times, and at other times prompts the reader to ponder thought-provoking questions about life, love, relationships, and social issues. Grillo explores themes like dysfunctional family relationships, divisive political viewpoints, and the complexities of gender dynamics, while also providing tender, heartwarming insights about found family and the joys and pitfalls of being alive. The book is anchored by a series of questions that Hestia poses to the retirement community residents about their lives and thoughts, and the residents' answers were like a balm to the soul: a comforting, gentle reminder that life goes on. Those sections brought a lot of levity and sweetness to a story that could've been depressing, but instead left me feeling uplifted despite everything.
The audio version is well-done; the narrator who voices Hestia really encompasses her character, but I especially loved the narrators who voiced the residents of the retirement community. Hestia Strikes a Match is not, it has to be said, a politically neutral book; there is a strong liberal-leaning viewpoint that I imagine will be a turn-off for some readers. But as for me, I found it to be captivating and unique, a story unlike any I've read before. Thank you to Macmillan Audio, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and NetGalley for the complimentary reading opportunity.
April 8, 2023
This is a tricky book for me to review, as I found my feelings changing throughout "Hestia Strikes a Match." First, I feel I have to get the not-so great out of the way: Christine Grillo uses the "he/she said" dialogue tag in conversation so frequently that I almost put this book straight into the DNF pile. I listened to it on audio, so perhaps it stood out more there, but I found it very distracting and used to a degree that I was surprised got past editing. I know that likely sounds like a small thing, but it was so prominent that it was hard to overlook.
Thankfully, my brain started to tune it out and that was when I could really sink into the plot. Hestia Harris is a 40-something looking for normal life in not-so-normal times. The United States is knee-deep in its second civil war, with unionists against the nationalists, and several states already defecting into their own union. Under this political strain, her (abandoned) marriage, relationship with her parents, and dating prospects all are affected, leaving Hestia unmoored and unfocused. Fundamentally, this is a story of a woman finding herself in turbulent times, not at the start of adulthood but at the age of 44.
Perhaps not surprisingly, this is not a politically neutral book, and I think it will be strongly disliked by some. That said, I found the book to predominantly explore her dating life. The civil war thread provided a unique spin on average dating, though, and I found myself wanting more of it than the tidbits Grillo wove in.
The book's title led me to believe there would be a pivotal moment when Hestia strikes her match, but instead, it was a more gentle, meandering path to finding herself ... and when it's all said and done, isn't that the way we all accomplish the task? As Hestia grew, I found her growing on me, too. This book was realistic on many levels, and I enjoyed it overall — just, please, tighter editing next time!
Thankfully, my brain started to tune it out and that was when I could really sink into the plot. Hestia Harris is a 40-something looking for normal life in not-so-normal times. The United States is knee-deep in its second civil war, with unionists against the nationalists, and several states already defecting into their own union. Under this political strain, her (abandoned) marriage, relationship with her parents, and dating prospects all are affected, leaving Hestia unmoored and unfocused. Fundamentally, this is a story of a woman finding herself in turbulent times, not at the start of adulthood but at the age of 44.
Perhaps not surprisingly, this is not a politically neutral book, and I think it will be strongly disliked by some. That said, I found the book to predominantly explore her dating life. The civil war thread provided a unique spin on average dating, though, and I found myself wanting more of it than the tidbits Grillo wove in.
The book's title led me to believe there would be a pivotal moment when Hestia strikes her match, but instead, it was a more gentle, meandering path to finding herself ... and when it's all said and done, isn't that the way we all accomplish the task? As Hestia grew, I found her growing on me, too. This book was realistic on many levels, and I enjoyed it overall — just, please, tighter editing next time!
August 2, 2023
5 stars = Utterly incredible. One of the best books I've read this year.
There is an America that some people never see. It’s not just the ignorance, it’s the hardness. Some people grow up hard, and all that hardness makes them mean. They’re people who, if they see you slip on ice, what’s the first thing they’re going to do? They’re going to laugh. They may eventually help you, or they may not - but first they’re going to laugh.
I absolutely loved this book and want to be friends with the author. Do not let the pink chick-lit cover fool you, I think this is a book that would appeal to all rational people that appreciate a satirical examination of the modern dating world and America’s current division and traitor problem. I laughed and laughed, because what else can we do and not go crazy?
I will never be able to truly know another person. The most intimate relationship of my life would be my relationship with me - which was wildly unappealing. This is why people believe in gods, so we can have intimate relationships with them instead of ourselves.
It is character driven instead of plot, and the group of main characters are well fleshed out and show growth throughout the novel that spans a couple of years. It is sprinkled with interesting reflections on humanity and our current state of affairs, while keeping a tone of cynical hilarity as the heroine tries to figure out life and how to survive. Highly recommended to everyone, though sadly the people that would benefit the most will refuse to read it, as is usually the case with them. I will miss reading about these characters and look forward to checking out what the author does next.
How can our corporeal cages betray us like that? How is it that Time is allowed to write, without our permission, on our faces and bodies like that, in all caps, for everyone to see?
-------------------------------------------
First Sentence: Two months after the war began, I found myself single - abandoned.
Favorite Quote: Racism is the problem that gives birth to every other problem: capitalism, war, environmental destruction, you name it. Every time you decide that it’s all right to treat one group of people more terribly than you treat another group of people, that’s racism - and once we have decided to live with it, we can justify going to war, or doing capitalism, or tolerating climate change.
There is an America that some people never see. It’s not just the ignorance, it’s the hardness. Some people grow up hard, and all that hardness makes them mean. They’re people who, if they see you slip on ice, what’s the first thing they’re going to do? They’re going to laugh. They may eventually help you, or they may not - but first they’re going to laugh.
I absolutely loved this book and want to be friends with the author. Do not let the pink chick-lit cover fool you, I think this is a book that would appeal to all rational people that appreciate a satirical examination of the modern dating world and America’s current division and traitor problem. I laughed and laughed, because what else can we do and not go crazy?
I will never be able to truly know another person. The most intimate relationship of my life would be my relationship with me - which was wildly unappealing. This is why people believe in gods, so we can have intimate relationships with them instead of ourselves.
It is character driven instead of plot, and the group of main characters are well fleshed out and show growth throughout the novel that spans a couple of years. It is sprinkled with interesting reflections on humanity and our current state of affairs, while keeping a tone of cynical hilarity as the heroine tries to figure out life and how to survive. Highly recommended to everyone, though sadly the people that would benefit the most will refuse to read it, as is usually the case with them. I will miss reading about these characters and look forward to checking out what the author does next.
How can our corporeal cages betray us like that? How is it that Time is allowed to write, without our permission, on our faces and bodies like that, in all caps, for everyone to see?
-------------------------------------------
First Sentence: Two months after the war began, I found myself single - abandoned.
Favorite Quote: Racism is the problem that gives birth to every other problem: capitalism, war, environmental destruction, you name it. Every time you decide that it’s all right to treat one group of people more terribly than you treat another group of people, that’s racism - and once we have decided to live with it, we can justify going to war, or doing capitalism, or tolerating climate change.
April 24, 2023
This was a really interesting book but it is not for everyone. It has a STRONG political viewpoint which will alienate certain readers. So, I just wanted to mention that upfront. I was initially interested in this book for that very reason. As it centers around the idea of the United States falling into a civil war, it felt like an interesting idea and all too real given where we are in our political climate at the moment. I was interested in seeing what Christine Grillo would do with that premise. And, for me, this one really delivered an interesting story that held my attention & made me THINK. But, I do want to mention that this is more of a character study in that it's really the story of Hestia, a woman who is seeking love and acceptance - through relationships with men, her parents, her friends, and her co-workers, etc. It really focuses heavily on THAT and not so much on the Civil War world-building. That is there, certainly, but it's not the focus. It still worked for me but I wanted to mention that so you aren't coming for one thing and feeling disappointed that the narrative focuses on something different.
I think this novel really excels at character development. Over the course of the novel, I came to really KNOW the people in this novel, in all their glorious flaws and complications. And it sort of snuck up on me, to be honest. The relationships in the book gave me, as a reader, so much to think about and consider. It was a really effective narrative device.
I should also mention that there were a lot of laugh-out-loud moments for me - the irreverent humor was very successful for me. The author had a lot of humor about relationships and how odd, strange and complex they are which I could really relate to. I loved all of the quirky that she so successfully blended into the characters and the narrative.
What I think also really worked for me with this novel is how well done the author's observations of the very complex issues in the divisive political climate, family dynamics, gender dynamics, humanity, love, happiness, and more. She was able to weave the 'issues' into the narrative very successfully.
While I really enjoyed this one, I think it could have used a little more editing so the narrative was a bit tighter. It got weighed down in the middle for me and I think this was why. I also wished there were more of the world-building details about the civil war included. I had a number of questions that were never answered ... I suspect that was intentional on the author's part but I wanted MORE of the details about this civil war and what it looked like. However, all in all, this book was very successful for me and I think a certain reader will really enjoy this as much as I did! But, if you are someone who is on the more conservative side of the American political aisle, this may not be a book that you'll enjoy.
Thank you to Netgalley & Farrar, Straus and Giroux for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
I think this novel really excels at character development. Over the course of the novel, I came to really KNOW the people in this novel, in all their glorious flaws and complications. And it sort of snuck up on me, to be honest. The relationships in the book gave me, as a reader, so much to think about and consider. It was a really effective narrative device.
I should also mention that there were a lot of laugh-out-loud moments for me - the irreverent humor was very successful for me. The author had a lot of humor about relationships and how odd, strange and complex they are which I could really relate to. I loved all of the quirky that she so successfully blended into the characters and the narrative.
What I think also really worked for me with this novel is how well done the author's observations of the very complex issues in the divisive political climate, family dynamics, gender dynamics, humanity, love, happiness, and more. She was able to weave the 'issues' into the narrative very successfully.
While I really enjoyed this one, I think it could have used a little more editing so the narrative was a bit tighter. It got weighed down in the middle for me and I think this was why. I also wished there were more of the world-building details about the civil war included. I had a number of questions that were never answered ... I suspect that was intentional on the author's part but I wanted MORE of the details about this civil war and what it looked like. However, all in all, this book was very successful for me and I think a certain reader will really enjoy this as much as I did! But, if you are someone who is on the more conservative side of the American political aisle, this may not be a book that you'll enjoy.
Thank you to Netgalley & Farrar, Straus and Giroux for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
November 27, 2022
Hestia Harris uses mainly two apps on her smartphone: one is checking for terrorist threats in the area, and the other is … a dating app. It’s 2023, and the United States is in the middle of a civil war. The country was divided; some states were pro-Union, while others separated and called themselves the New Confederates States of America. Families are divided, life-long friendships are dissolved, and Hestia’s marriage is another casualty of the war.
The description of the background of Christine Grillo’s novel “Hestia Strikes a Match” paints a bleak picture, yet the book is funny, even if it’s often dark humor. Hestia, whose parents named her after a Roman goddess of the family life, and the state order, is 40 years old, very independent, and searching for companionship, perhaps even for love but mainly just trying to enjoy life and navigate the new, scary situation. Her choice of boyfriends is not always right on target, but her description of their personalities is always hilarious. She is a very nurturing person working at a retirement village where she befriends an elderly lady, Mildred. Mildred likes to sneak out to smoke and share her wisdom about life and men. Just as Hestia strikes a match lighting Mildred’s cigarette, she hopes to strike a match on her smartphone dating app.
It’s a novel that can be read on many levels – a dystopian story, a cautionary tale, and a great read with a heroine as lovable as Bridget Jones. I loved it. Easy to read, it is thought-provoking and entertaining at the same time. One can’t escape thinking, “what if something like this happens” looking at the country described in the book. The scenes in the novel bring memories of photos we saw in the newspapers not so long ago, and Hestia is not just trying to live despite the situation; she tries to find her happiness and help others. The musings the elderly residents put in writing are beautiful reminders that life goes on. As Mildred says, when Hestia is heartbroken: “Oh dear, Hestia, you fell in love, it’s not the worst disaster. It’ll pass. (…) It always does. (…) We are very adaptable creatures.”
The description of the background of Christine Grillo’s novel “Hestia Strikes a Match” paints a bleak picture, yet the book is funny, even if it’s often dark humor. Hestia, whose parents named her after a Roman goddess of the family life, and the state order, is 40 years old, very independent, and searching for companionship, perhaps even for love but mainly just trying to enjoy life and navigate the new, scary situation. Her choice of boyfriends is not always right on target, but her description of their personalities is always hilarious. She is a very nurturing person working at a retirement village where she befriends an elderly lady, Mildred. Mildred likes to sneak out to smoke and share her wisdom about life and men. Just as Hestia strikes a match lighting Mildred’s cigarette, she hopes to strike a match on her smartphone dating app.
It’s a novel that can be read on many levels – a dystopian story, a cautionary tale, and a great read with a heroine as lovable as Bridget Jones. I loved it. Easy to read, it is thought-provoking and entertaining at the same time. One can’t escape thinking, “what if something like this happens” looking at the country described in the book. The scenes in the novel bring memories of photos we saw in the newspapers not so long ago, and Hestia is not just trying to live despite the situation; she tries to find her happiness and help others. The musings the elderly residents put in writing are beautiful reminders that life goes on. As Mildred says, when Hestia is heartbroken: “Oh dear, Hestia, you fell in love, it’s not the worst disaster. It’ll pass. (…) It always does. (…) We are very adaptable creatures.”
April 26, 2023
Thank you to Netgalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review
Hestia is a former reporter working in a retirement home midst America's second world war. She has a strenuous relationship with her parents, doesn't have friends, and her husband has been off fighting for his causes since the war started. In her pursuit of love and a purpose she befriends her co-worker and a rambunctious elderly resident who help her narrow down what and who she wants out of life.
I really wanted to love this one. An elder millennial in her 40s finding love, the harsh reality of what road America is one, and the human connection. Unfortunately Hestia was not a character i felt myself rooting for. I could not connect with her and I found her very whiney. She felt like a character who only liked the idea of love and wanted to be miserable. The best parts and characters were the retirement home residents especially Mildred.
Hestia is a former reporter working in a retirement home midst America's second world war. She has a strenuous relationship with her parents, doesn't have friends, and her husband has been off fighting for his causes since the war started. In her pursuit of love and a purpose she befriends her co-worker and a rambunctious elderly resident who help her narrow down what and who she wants out of life.
I really wanted to love this one. An elder millennial in her 40s finding love, the harsh reality of what road America is one, and the human connection. Unfortunately Hestia was not a character i felt myself rooting for. I could not connect with her and I found her very whiney. She felt like a character who only liked the idea of love and wanted to be miserable. The best parts and characters were the retirement home residents especially Mildred.
October 5, 2022
Am I really the first one to review this amazing book? I guess it doesn't come out for a while.
This is the story of Hestia, who navigates her world amid a civil war. The confederated states have seceded from the union, and there is bitter conflict between the two countries. Even within the union, no one is safe from confederation sympathizers. Hestia's husband left her to join the revolution after his sister was murdered. Now she works at a nursing home, running their writing program and other activities. She becomes close to Mildred, a funny and feisty resident, and Sarah, a coworker who was always just an acquaintance until now. Taking place over the course of four years, Hestia's dating life often feels like the main focus. But this book is really about deeper issues such as the impact of abuse and trauma on our daily lives--both personal and societal. There were moments that hit me right in the feels, particularly when it comes to Hestia's parents. I identified so strongly with Hestia that I was moved to tears.
This might not be the right book for everyone, but if you want a book that is both quirky/funny and deeply serious, I highly recommend it.
This is the story of Hestia, who navigates her world amid a civil war. The confederated states have seceded from the union, and there is bitter conflict between the two countries. Even within the union, no one is safe from confederation sympathizers. Hestia's husband left her to join the revolution after his sister was murdered. Now she works at a nursing home, running their writing program and other activities. She becomes close to Mildred, a funny and feisty resident, and Sarah, a coworker who was always just an acquaintance until now. Taking place over the course of four years, Hestia's dating life often feels like the main focus. But this book is really about deeper issues such as the impact of abuse and trauma on our daily lives--both personal and societal. There were moments that hit me right in the feels, particularly when it comes to Hestia's parents. I identified so strongly with Hestia that I was moved to tears.
This might not be the right book for everyone, but if you want a book that is both quirky/funny and deeply serious, I highly recommend it.
March 30, 2023
Hestia is living in 2023 but not in the world as we know it to be. In this dystopian novel The United States of America is split in two countries as they are in the second Civil War. The north is referred to as the Union and the south is home of the Confederates. The war has raged havoc on Hestia’s life, her husband has left her to go fight in the war and her parents have moved to the south. Hestia was working in journalism in Baltimore but with the war it is incredibly dangerous, so she has taken up work at a retirement home.
Even during the chaos of the war, Hestia yearns for a relationship but she quickly learns dating is hard, really hard. We meet several interesting people in Hestia’s life that offered some flavor to the story.
This book is hard for me to rate. There were parts that were enjoyable and then there were parts that seemed drawn out. I think the story line was a unique perspective of how life as we know it currently could be if we were to be involved in the second Civil War.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC. All opinions are my own.
Even during the chaos of the war, Hestia yearns for a relationship but she quickly learns dating is hard, really hard. We meet several interesting people in Hestia’s life that offered some flavor to the story.
This book is hard for me to rate. There were parts that were enjoyable and then there were parts that seemed drawn out. I think the story line was a unique perspective of how life as we know it currently could be if we were to be involved in the second Civil War.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC. All opinions are my own.
December 15, 2023
This was a thought experiment gone terribly wrong. The thought was "what if there was an American civil war today?" And the answer was you will be very depressed and also hate everyone. Maybe the most egregious part of this book was that things kept happening but nothing HAPPENED. For so many pages! Hundreds of them! And then the ending was predictable in every aggravating way and yeah, basically I hated this. I found it on NPR's Best books of the year list! Very upsetting.
July 7, 2023
Question 40: What advice would you give to someone who wants to live a happy life?
JEFFREY: We think we know so much and that our ideas are good. Not true. Our ideas are garbage, and as long as you remember that, you have a shot at happiness. Don't ever be certain. Stay confused. Always be curious.
JEFFREY: We think we know so much and that our ideas are good. Not true. Our ideas are garbage, and as long as you remember that, you have a shot at happiness. Don't ever be certain. Stay confused. Always be curious.
November 18, 2023
I started this in April, got to 25% and gave up. Finally picked it back up and can't say it was worth it.
This is a 'it's not you, it's me' situation. But why was this 400 pages?
This is a 'it's not you, it's me' situation. But why was this 400 pages?
April 18, 2023
This alternate history/women's fiction story was unlike anything I've ever read before. I dove in pretty blind and was pleasantly surprised by just how much I liked it! Told from the first person POV of Hestia, a quasi-journalist/aspiring writer who is living remotely in a retirement community in an America that's going through another 'Civil war'.
With the country divided between the Unionists and the Confederates and her very racist parents on the opposite side, Hestia finds enjoyment (and security) living with her elderly neighbors, who she has frequent 'oral history' sessions.
She also has a series of relationships with men that I could have done without if I'm honest but it did inject some levity into the story. Good on audio narrated by a full cast this book was poignant, funny and unique! Recommended for anyone looking to try something different. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
With the country divided between the Unionists and the Confederates and her very racist parents on the opposite side, Hestia finds enjoyment (and security) living with her elderly neighbors, who she has frequent 'oral history' sessions.
She also has a series of relationships with men that I could have done without if I'm honest but it did inject some levity into the story. Good on audio narrated by a full cast this book was poignant, funny and unique! Recommended for anyone looking to try something different. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
April 19, 2023
Oh hi, I loved this book. Loved loved looooved. So much that I pre-ordered it so my mom could read it and love it too. The premise is wonderful, and twofold: First, we are hanging out with main character Hestia during her daily life of trying to find love and friendships and such, which seems pretty normal. The second part is, she's doing this as the country is in full-blown war and chaos. And holy crap is it realistic.
In the story, Joe Biden dies. I mean- the author doesn't call him out by name, but we know it's him. And Kamala becomes president. And the Shitty White People™ in the Shitty White People™ parts of the country basically lose their racist, sexist minds. And so, we fight, because this is what people do. I have seen a lot of reviews marking this as alt-history, but the truth is, this is set like... today, and this could so very easily be our today. Or tomorrow, it doesn't actually matter, because it is so spot on in terms of how this country reacts over stuff. There's even a bit where Hestia comments that we have really been at war for years, but "we were in the habit of giving it names like 'arson,' or 'shootings'". Which wow, yep. Basically, instead of alt-history, I felt like I was reading an eerily accurate description of our future.
Anyway, the story isn't just about the awfulness of the country, which was what makes it so incredible. It was about Hestia trying to navigate this new-but-not-really society (more like, coming to terms with it being so out in the open) and also trying to find her own place. She's a bit adrift after finding herself newly separated, and finding her parents on the wrong side of the war. You can't help but feel for her, as she discovers how messy her parents' viewpoints are, and finds herself back in the dating pool in her forties.
She's also just a really likable character, frankly. Her bestie is an old lady named Mildred who lives in the senior center she works at. Mildred is the best. She is so funny, and reminded me of my own grandmother. I loved their bond so very much. Hestia eventually finds some other people to add to her circle, but you'll have to read about that for yourself. And look, it is hard enough finding your People as an adult. Imagine doing it during a literal civil war! Hestia even has to rely on an app to tell her which places are probably not going to get attacked, especially since she lives on a boarder city in Maryland.
The best thing about this book was how authentic it felt. How plausibly this could be our world, and how completely relatable Hestia was as a character. She commented at times about how strange it was to still be doing mundane things like going to work, or meeting someone for a drink while the world fell apart around her, and that is facts. It is also exactly how I'd see the actual civil war happening, frankly, because people don't want to give up the mundanity that makes them feel sane. Also, Hestia's concerns are everyone's concerns: worrying about how to deal with family who have toxic views, trying to feel less alone, worrying about friends. It's all just so relatable, and so life-affirming. Like, if Hestia can do it in the midst of crisis, maybe we can too.
Bottom Line: As war rages on, this book shows us that there is still a whole life to live, and we can still find ourselves in the darkest of times.
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
In the story, Joe Biden dies. I mean- the author doesn't call him out by name, but we know it's him. And Kamala becomes president. And the Shitty White People™ in the Shitty White People™ parts of the country basically lose their racist, sexist minds. And so, we fight, because this is what people do. I have seen a lot of reviews marking this as alt-history, but the truth is, this is set like... today, and this could so very easily be our today. Or tomorrow, it doesn't actually matter, because it is so spot on in terms of how this country reacts over stuff. There's even a bit where Hestia comments that we have really been at war for years, but "we were in the habit of giving it names like 'arson,' or 'shootings'". Which wow, yep. Basically, instead of alt-history, I felt like I was reading an eerily accurate description of our future.
Anyway, the story isn't just about the awfulness of the country, which was what makes it so incredible. It was about Hestia trying to navigate this new-but-not-really society (more like, coming to terms with it being so out in the open) and also trying to find her own place. She's a bit adrift after finding herself newly separated, and finding her parents on the wrong side of the war. You can't help but feel for her, as she discovers how messy her parents' viewpoints are, and finds herself back in the dating pool in her forties.
She's also just a really likable character, frankly. Her bestie is an old lady named Mildred who lives in the senior center she works at. Mildred is the best. She is so funny, and reminded me of my own grandmother. I loved their bond so very much. Hestia eventually finds some other people to add to her circle, but you'll have to read about that for yourself. And look, it is hard enough finding your People as an adult. Imagine doing it during a literal civil war! Hestia even has to rely on an app to tell her which places are probably not going to get attacked, especially since she lives on a boarder city in Maryland.
The best thing about this book was how authentic it felt. How plausibly this could be our world, and how completely relatable Hestia was as a character. She commented at times about how strange it was to still be doing mundane things like going to work, or meeting someone for a drink while the world fell apart around her, and that is facts. It is also exactly how I'd see the actual civil war happening, frankly, because people don't want to give up the mundanity that makes them feel sane. Also, Hestia's concerns are everyone's concerns: worrying about how to deal with family who have toxic views, trying to feel less alone, worrying about friends. It's all just so relatable, and so life-affirming. Like, if Hestia can do it in the midst of crisis, maybe we can too.
Bottom Line: As war rages on, this book shows us that there is still a whole life to live, and we can still find ourselves in the darkest of times.
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
March 23, 2025
Interesting setting - a second civil war in the US with some states having seceded and forming its own country (the year being 2023). Certainly felt relevant, because there are a lot of days lately where I wonder if that's not actually where we are headed in the US these days.
The setting was the most interesting part of the book, and I wish the book had actually been more about the war, which is saying a lot given how much I hate war books. The rest of it was pretty mundane. Hestia lives through one dating disaster after another, one which is extremely inappropriate, and downloads a lot of elderly wisdom while interviewing them for her job. She also only seems to have friends from work - one very good friend, an elderly woman who is a resident at the elderly home she works at, and a colleague.
All the while, her parents, whose ideology is, at most, in opposition to hers, but at the least just uninterested in hers, and who seem to want more for their daughter than she wants for herself (which is her choice, of course), try very hard to have a relationship with her. But because she feels like her parents only love her the way they want to and not the way she wants them to, she keeps them at arm's length the whole time. This was upsetting to me because it brought back flashbacks of my own relationship with my parents and how I had to figure out how to be functional with them and how it will always feel like I took too long to get there, which meant that the time we had together was never going to have been enough.
There was a line in there that I thought was funny to me. It said that men had an incredible skill of being able to have a high opinion of themselves and that it would be impossible to find an intelligent woman capable of the same. That friends, is the basis for male privilege in this world - the patriarchy has gaslit women into thinking they shouldn't think highly of themselves and the rest of the world into thinking the same - that men should and women shouldn't.
The book was rather boring, but not enough for me to have DNFd it.
The setting was the most interesting part of the book, and I wish the book had actually been more about the war, which is saying a lot given how much I hate war books. The rest of it was pretty mundane. Hestia lives through one dating disaster after another, one which is extremely inappropriate, and downloads a lot of elderly wisdom while interviewing them for her job. She also only seems to have friends from work - one very good friend, an elderly woman who is a resident at the elderly home she works at, and a colleague.
All the while, her parents, whose ideology is, at most, in opposition to hers, but at the least just uninterested in hers, and who seem to want more for their daughter than she wants for herself (which is her choice, of course), try very hard to have a relationship with her. But because she feels like her parents only love her the way they want to and not the way she wants them to, she keeps them at arm's length the whole time. This was upsetting to me because it brought back flashbacks of my own relationship with my parents and how I had to figure out how to be functional with them and how it will always feel like I took too long to get there, which meant that the time we had together was never going to have been enough.
There was a line in there that I thought was funny to me. It said that men had an incredible skill of being able to have a high opinion of themselves and that it would be impossible to find an intelligent woman capable of the same. That friends, is the basis for male privilege in this world - the patriarchy has gaslit women into thinking they shouldn't think highly of themselves and the rest of the world into thinking the same - that men should and women shouldn't.
The book was rather boring, but not enough for me to have DNFd it.
November 12, 2024
I saw this book in a store last year, added it to my TBR and then promptly forgot about it until I decided to pick it up late last month. I did NOT re-read the description before I began reading - which made it very interesting, and kind of terrifying, reading in the days leading up to the U.S. presidential election.
I’ve told a few people over the last week about how I’ve been reading this book “about a woman in her early 40s dating in the midst of the second Civil War.” The book is mostly about Hestia and the men she meets and dates after her husband abandons her to join the war efforts - but it’s also about the all too scary reality that the United States is an incredibly divided country. It takes place in an “alternate reality” - but it’s also really just an extrapolation of the reality that we currently live in.
But leaving the backdrop aside, this is a book about relationships - family and found family. I found myself highlighting more passages from this one than any other book I’ve read in recent memory. This is one that will definitely stay with me, especially as we move into the next four years and beyond.
I’ve told a few people over the last week about how I’ve been reading this book “about a woman in her early 40s dating in the midst of the second Civil War.” The book is mostly about Hestia and the men she meets and dates after her husband abandons her to join the war efforts - but it’s also about the all too scary reality that the United States is an incredibly divided country. It takes place in an “alternate reality” - but it’s also really just an extrapolation of the reality that we currently live in.
But leaving the backdrop aside, this is a book about relationships - family and found family. I found myself highlighting more passages from this one than any other book I’ve read in recent memory. This is one that will definitely stay with me, especially as we move into the next four years and beyond.
August 23, 2023
What a weird and lovely book. The year is 2023 and The United States has entered its second civil war (or did the first ever really ever end?). But don't worry, this novel isn't a dark tale of violence and end times, instead it follows Hestia a 40-year-old freelance writer turned retirement home employee trying to find love.
As Hestia tries to move on from her husband leaving her for a paramilitary union group and her confederate-sympathizing parents for the south, she finds unsuspecting friends and learns more about herself... All while checking the safety apps and complaining about supply chain issues.
It was hilarious and provided such an interesting backdrop for a book about love and loneliness and dating.
As Hestia tries to move on from her husband leaving her for a paramilitary union group and her confederate-sympathizing parents for the south, she finds unsuspecting friends and learns more about herself... All while checking the safety apps and complaining about supply chain issues.
It was hilarious and provided such an interesting backdrop for a book about love and loneliness and dating.
February 27, 2023
I am probably not supposed to review this book, as Chris Grillo and I were neighbors for many years. We raised kids together, weathered snowstorms and elections and holiday gatherings together, and shared many a raised eyebrow or grim smile across the room or over the heads of our kids.
But she doesn't live across the street from me anymore, and I don't think I had realized how much I missed those moments of commiseration until I was on, oh, page 14 of this book. So I'm going to go ahead and write not so much a review but a recommendation.
Hestia is a writer, newly single (in her 40s), working at a retirement "village" because, since the war started, freelance journalism just got way too depressing. She's a sharp mind navigating work relationships, dating, and interior design decisions against the backdrop of every-increasing north-south chaos and violence.
So there's some farce there, some parody, but just about every jab or surreal situation - from a boyfriend involved with the "clown scene" to a shirtless protestor spitting in her face - is somehow just a little realer than reality. Like all good farce.
I laughed out loud, I cried a little tear, I took screenshots and texted passages to my husband ("does this sound like my parents or what??"), but most of all I rooted for Hestia, who hangs in there, looking for love and discovering all the unlikely places it can lurk.
So if you, like me, miss having a kindred spirit with whom to share an eyeroll, a bitter laugh, and perhaps a drink (she's bourbon, I'm gin), you'll like Hestia.
But she doesn't live across the street from me anymore, and I don't think I had realized how much I missed those moments of commiseration until I was on, oh, page 14 of this book. So I'm going to go ahead and write not so much a review but a recommendation.
Hestia is a writer, newly single (in her 40s), working at a retirement "village" because, since the war started, freelance journalism just got way too depressing. She's a sharp mind navigating work relationships, dating, and interior design decisions against the backdrop of every-increasing north-south chaos and violence.
So there's some farce there, some parody, but just about every jab or surreal situation - from a boyfriend involved with the "clown scene" to a shirtless protestor spitting in her face - is somehow just a little realer than reality. Like all good farce.
I laughed out loud, I cried a little tear, I took screenshots and texted passages to my husband ("does this sound like my parents or what??"), but most of all I rooted for Hestia, who hangs in there, looking for love and discovering all the unlikely places it can lurk.
So if you, like me, miss having a kindred spirit with whom to share an eyeroll, a bitter laugh, and perhaps a drink (she's bourbon, I'm gin), you'll like Hestia.
July 23, 2023
Probably best described as trying to find love in dystopian times, this novel grew on me but very slowly. America is in the middle of a civil war, and Hestia is trying to deal with that and finding true love. This is very political and a bit on the extreme side for my liking. There are enforced curfews which makes dating hard, oh and Hestia does happen to be married, her husband has basically abandoned her to go fight and she has had no communication from him since. She has a strained relationship with her parents as they have moved south against her wishes, and she has changed careers since the war which is not ideal. I enjoyed her dating escapades the most and it was unique to experience them in a dystopian environment. The political and war narratives were too drawn out and detracted from the story, and causing me to not enjoy this one as much overall.
The narrators did a wonderful job and I think listening to this one helped, had I only read the physical copy it would not have been as enjoyable for me.
Thank you to MacMillan Audio and NetGalley for the ALC to review.
The narrators did a wonderful job and I think listening to this one helped, had I only read the physical copy it would not have been as enjoyable for me.
Thank you to MacMillan Audio and NetGalley for the ALC to review.
July 3, 2025
if a girl can’t be focused on being attached to her relationships during a literal civil war then WHEN is she allowed to do so come ON PEOPLE
August 10, 2025
Really liked the setting- the story- this was a surprise as I didnt know what it was about but I ended up really enjoying it. Hestia navigating life in her early 40s was relatable and it was a good read
March 19, 2023
**𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰. 𝐇𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟏𝟖𝐭𝐡.
Hestia Harris is newly single and looking for love in the midst of a new civil war. Her husband had left her to fight for the union and her parents are confederate sympathizers. She finds solace in her coworkers at a retirement home. Her best friend is Mildred and eight-four year old woman.
I know reading a book about a new civil war doesn't sound fun, I promise you that this is a delightful read. I adored Hestia's quest for love and her relationship with her parents will resonate with many. I'm sure we all love someone with political differences. I loved the quirky fun characters. I highly recommend it.
September 24, 2023
5 stars, if this had been about 230 pages or under, 3 stars for being overstuffed with more of the same. Even when 'the same' is good, it still only spreads so far. The first half of the book was so entertaining - a comedic rom-com dystopia set in an alternate 2023 where civil war has broken out in the US along the same lines as the first, geographically and politically, minus the overt defense of slavery. It felt so absolutely real to me - that (at least in Maryland), life goes on as usual, with the help of a few modifications to old apps (dating apps have a Confederate/Union filter) and new apps to help navigate the new normal - for example the app "Conflicted", which curates civil war news, and "Safe Zones", which is like Google Maps, but with the inclusion of real-time terrorist attacks, skirmishes and grid disruptions to help you plan your trip. I loved the protagonist Hestia, who has the voice of a talented observational stand-up comic, and whose subject is her dating life.
I quit at page 235 because I could hear the other books on my shelves calling my name - always a bad sign. After seeing some positive reviews from GR friends, I relented and skimmed the rest in search of a literary jolt, but none came.
I quit at page 235 because I could hear the other books on my shelves calling my name - always a bad sign. After seeing some positive reviews from GR friends, I relented and skimmed the rest in search of a literary jolt, but none came.
December 20, 2023
I read this book for the VCU Cabell First Novelist Award first round.
I actually really liked the writing-style; it was funny and easy to read. This book provided interesting commentary on the political extremists in the U.S. today, and the problems that arise from an unwillingness to hear others’ points of view. However, it felt very biased against anything remotely conservative and Christian, so anyone who considers themselves conservative would probably find this book frustrating. Also, the main character (42 years old!!!!!) has the maturity of a teenager and is often rude to others, which made it difficult to root for her.
I actually really liked the writing-style; it was funny and easy to read. This book provided interesting commentary on the political extremists in the U.S. today, and the problems that arise from an unwillingness to hear others’ points of view. However, it felt very biased against anything remotely conservative and Christian, so anyone who considers themselves conservative would probably find this book frustrating. Also, the main character (42 years old!!!!!) has the maturity of a teenager and is often rude to others, which made it difficult to root for her.
January 11, 2024
4.5–but it deserves a 5 for what it could be
Such a dramatic, but not-so-far-fetched alternate reality. The US in its second civil war, but day-to-day life goes on (much like the Covid years). I wanted to take points off because I disliked the protagonist’s actions so often—but where was I ever promised a character that I liked? I wanted to take points off because it followed such a pedestrian lifestyle, but I guess that IS what would happen during a war…we still need to work, take care of the elderly and love.
Overall, it made me think—and that is the most I can ever ask of a book.
Such a dramatic, but not-so-far-fetched alternate reality. The US in its second civil war, but day-to-day life goes on (much like the Covid years). I wanted to take points off because I disliked the protagonist’s actions so often—but where was I ever promised a character that I liked? I wanted to take points off because it followed such a pedestrian lifestyle, but I guess that IS what would happen during a war…we still need to work, take care of the elderly and love.
Overall, it made me think—and that is the most I can ever ask of a book.
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