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I Was the President's Mistress!!
“Brilliant . . . Miguel Syjuco is his country’s most original and unflinching literary voice.” —Salman Rushdie
"It’s a rare novel that leaves you reeling simultaneously with admiration, exhaustion, amazement at its author’s reach and skill, and desolation at the world it spreads out before you . . . [A] raging protest of a book.” —James Lasdun, The New York Times Book Review (Editors' Choice)
From Miguel Syjuco, the winner of the Man Asian Literary Prize for Ilustrado, I Was the President's Mistress!! is an unflinching satire about power, corruption, sex, and all the other topics you were told never to discuss in polite company.
First came the Sexy-Sexygate scandal. Then an impeachment trial. Finally, a battle royale for the presidency. At the center of this political typhoon is Vita Nova, the most famous movie star in the Philippines and a former paramour of the country’s most powerful man. Now, for the first time ever, she bares herself completely in a tell-all memoir that puts the sensational in sensationalistic.
The setting: a sweating, heaving country. The time: right now. The plot: a drug war rages, an assassin brandishes a pistol, a damsel rises from ashes to power, and a government teeters on the brink. Among the players: a dreamer who boxed and acted his way to the presidency, his Koran-toting nemesis in the senate, a horny bishop, a cowboy turned warlord, a poor little rich boy dying with his dynasty, a washed-up reporter redeemed by one last scoop, a high-school sweetheart driven mad by decades of disappointment, and an American naval officer tempting our heroine with a way out. As Vita warns, viewer discretion is advised.
In this masterful and audacious novel, Miguel Syjuco’s signature style—hilarious, insightful, playful, provocative—animates thirteen indelible voices whose stories present a cross-section of a complicated society. I Was the President’s Mistress!! hurtles headlong into love, politics, faith, history, memory, and the ongoing war over who will tell the stories the world shall know as truth.
"It’s a rare novel that leaves you reeling simultaneously with admiration, exhaustion, amazement at its author’s reach and skill, and desolation at the world it spreads out before you . . . [A] raging protest of a book.” —James Lasdun, The New York Times Book Review (Editors' Choice)
From Miguel Syjuco, the winner of the Man Asian Literary Prize for Ilustrado, I Was the President's Mistress!! is an unflinching satire about power, corruption, sex, and all the other topics you were told never to discuss in polite company.
First came the Sexy-Sexygate scandal. Then an impeachment trial. Finally, a battle royale for the presidency. At the center of this political typhoon is Vita Nova, the most famous movie star in the Philippines and a former paramour of the country’s most powerful man. Now, for the first time ever, she bares herself completely in a tell-all memoir that puts the sensational in sensationalistic.
The setting: a sweating, heaving country. The time: right now. The plot: a drug war rages, an assassin brandishes a pistol, a damsel rises from ashes to power, and a government teeters on the brink. Among the players: a dreamer who boxed and acted his way to the presidency, his Koran-toting nemesis in the senate, a horny bishop, a cowboy turned warlord, a poor little rich boy dying with his dynasty, a washed-up reporter redeemed by one last scoop, a high-school sweetheart driven mad by decades of disappointment, and an American naval officer tempting our heroine with a way out. As Vita warns, viewer discretion is advised.
In this masterful and audacious novel, Miguel Syjuco’s signature style—hilarious, insightful, playful, provocative—animates thirteen indelible voices whose stories present a cross-section of a complicated society. I Was the President’s Mistress!! hurtles headlong into love, politics, faith, history, memory, and the ongoing war over who will tell the stories the world shall know as truth.
384 pages, Paperback
First published April 5, 2022
61 people are currently reading
2487 people want to read
About the author
Miguel Syjuco
10 books121 followersMiguel Syjuco earned a master’s degree from Columbia University and is completing his PhD at the University of Adelaide, Australia. He received the 2008 Man Asian Literary Prize and the Philippines’ highest literary honor, the Palanca Award, for the unpublished manuscript of Ilustrado. Born in 1976 into a political family in Manila, Syjuco left the Philippines to become a writer. He currently lives in Montreal with his girlfriend and their two cats.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
May 30, 2023
A snap election called in the Philippines in response to an impeachment, an assassination attempt, secret recordings from the presidential bedroom leaked to the public, and a lively cast of characters are all in the swirling chaotic mix of “soap opera politics,” “disco democracy,” and, as more ominously described here by a crusading Filipino journalist, “perfected democratic dictatorship” in this metafictional “Celebrity Tell-All Memoir by Vita Nova (with Miguel Syjuco).” Vita, popularizer of the “Mr. Sexy-Sexy” national dance craze, has recorded audiotapes, transcribed here, telling of all of her life’s liasons, starting with her recently ended tenure as the strong man’s mistress and working back in time through her other partners, who include the president’s press secretary, the son of an Indian-Filipino manufacturing family, a Moslem opposition leader and presidential candidate, an abusive Catholic bishop, a drug-addled English deejay, a corrupt and venal provincial governor, an ex-US Navy/CIA expatriate American, the aforementioned journalist, and her first three adolescent/young adult relationships: the first a near elopement with a long lost childhood friend who has now resurfaced, the second with the twin brother of her Chinese-Filipino best teen friend, and the last with a scion of the Filipino aristocracy. Other transcribed audiotapes, one each from these dozen partners, recount their versions of their relationships with Vita and of her professional ascents to unscaled heights of national celebrity in entertainment, media, modeling, advertising, and, ultimately, national politics with possibly vice presidential or even higher aspirations. (The last three of these, from the partners from Vita’s youth, are especially poignant as each has had an uneasy adult life now behind them.) Vita is a spunky, spirited, breathless narrator throughout her transcripts, mincing no words and enlivening her story with healthy sprinklings of superb (and very entertaining, at times even Joycean) word play, malapropisms, and slangy and jive Filipino-English usages and misusages (such as “Thank Goddess” for “Thank goodness” [or “Thank God”?]). Each of Vita’s partners assumes his own voice fitting the eccentricities of his character, so these narratives are as quirky and distinctive in their own right as Vita’s. All in all, Vita Nova/Miguel Syjuco provides a rollicking, sometimes laugh-out-loud (but also probing and sobering) satirical depiction of the state of the Philippines, its tawdry political corruption and power- and money-mongering, and its kaleidoscope of a culture―a worthy companion to other contemporary novels of the Philippines I’ve enjoyed in recent years.
Read
November 13, 2022I feel like this had a lot of potential but the execution wasn’t working for me. I may come back to this another time
June 18, 2023
I really enjoyed Ilustrado back in the day but this… was a mess. It reads like one long, endless, rambling monologue (because it is!) and didn’t even have the dignity of enough paragraph breaks to be easy on the eyes. Syjuco is witty enough with the constant references and name-dropping, but I wish that wit could have been used to form a more interesting narrative. Shame, because he’s such a good prose writer.
March 9, 2023
READING VLOG
A laborious dive into the social-political minutia of the Filipino government and social and class structures where the female body of our protagonist Vita Nova masqueraded as feminism is used to propel narrative. Miguel drags the female body through aimless characterization with the use of cringe irony and flat humor in 100 pages to actually get to setting and atmosphere for the novel's landscape. Because the story is told in transcripts, we are dealt an interesting form in how to tell stories. Think of the Watergate Tapes or the Mueller
Report as novel - the greatest form of political art you can create. But here, Miguel struggles to keep anyone's attention as the story derails in trite details.
In a talk at the Radcliffe Institute, Miguel admits that when he first read his own first draft, he fell asleep. He called his own work BORING. I'm not sure how you edit boring down to interesting, but if you start with boring, you don't end up with much by the last empty pages conjured for audience interpretation. Thus, the novel has a pale pay-off and leaves you with one big heap of MEH.
What I will say is that this book may be of interest to Filipino readers as there are fun linguistic word plays and tricks that Miguel uses to keep voice light, buoyant, and fast-paced.
Thus one should read the novel for voice, and voice alone, and nothing else.
A laborious dive into the social-political minutia of the Filipino government and social and class structures where the female body of our protagonist Vita Nova masqueraded as feminism is used to propel narrative. Miguel drags the female body through aimless characterization with the use of cringe irony and flat humor in 100 pages to actually get to setting and atmosphere for the novel's landscape. Because the story is told in transcripts, we are dealt an interesting form in how to tell stories. Think of the Watergate Tapes or the Mueller
Report as novel - the greatest form of political art you can create. But here, Miguel struggles to keep anyone's attention as the story derails in trite details.
In a talk at the Radcliffe Institute, Miguel admits that when he first read his own first draft, he fell asleep. He called his own work BORING. I'm not sure how you edit boring down to interesting, but if you start with boring, you don't end up with much by the last empty pages conjured for audience interpretation. Thus, the novel has a pale pay-off and leaves you with one big heap of MEH.
What I will say is that this book may be of interest to Filipino readers as there are fun linguistic word plays and tricks that Miguel uses to keep voice light, buoyant, and fast-paced.
Thus one should read the novel for voice, and voice alone, and nothing else.
March 31, 2022
I enjoyed the multi-perspective route the author took as this placed the burden of who to believe on the reader. As with many things in life there are always multiple sides to every story and Syjuco executed that very well here.
April 14, 2022
Didn't finish it. Too much like reading a gossip magazine.
And the frequent use of Phils words and phrases meant I couldn't really get the best sense of the story.
And the frequent use of Phils words and phrases meant I couldn't really get the best sense of the story.
November 10, 2022
Dizzying
June 20, 2022
Hilarious, provocative and insightful!
At the heart of this ferocious satire is Vita Nova, the President’s mistress, former lover of other influential men, celebrity, social media influencer, and vice-presidential candidate, who bares her own heaving story collected by the ghostwriter of her tell-all memoir. The text is composed of 24 interviews recorded by the author featuring thirteen indelible voices. (Side note: Access to these kinds of transcripts is a researcher’s dream.)
I liked the way it confronts taboos and explores gender, power, and violence. But hey, we (readers/citizens) are not bystanders. The last chapter of the book is left blank, an indication that the story of Philippine Democracy is unfolding and remains to be written. The author expects us to conscientiously engage in its transcribing.
At the heart of this ferocious satire is Vita Nova, the President’s mistress, former lover of other influential men, celebrity, social media influencer, and vice-presidential candidate, who bares her own heaving story collected by the ghostwriter of her tell-all memoir. The text is composed of 24 interviews recorded by the author featuring thirteen indelible voices. (Side note: Access to these kinds of transcripts is a researcher’s dream.)
I liked the way it confronts taboos and explores gender, power, and violence. But hey, we (readers/citizens) are not bystanders. The last chapter of the book is left blank, an indication that the story of Philippine Democracy is unfolding and remains to be written. The author expects us to conscientiously engage in its transcribing.
August 27, 2023
I know you would never predict this from the awful cover, but in a year of pretty outstanding reads*, this one is among the top. This is going a long, gushing review with many quotes because this book is just that, that good. It hits all my triple threat - very, very funny; touching and rich in social and political commentary.
Syjuco tells the story through 24 stream-of-consciousness transcripts, covering 13 characters. At the centre is Vita Nova, a celebrity who has hired a journalist to ghostwrite her bio. Twelve of the interviews are hers, the other 12 are with her exes, a litany of characters allowing Syjuco to comment on, well, almost everything. In contrast to the kind of vapid biography everyone is expecting, the narrative is wide-ranging, sharp and, for satire, remarkably nuanced (while allowing plenty of room for very broad humour).
One of the many things the book gets very right is Vita. Who quickly establishes herself as many things, none of them vapid. The book's narrative structure moves us simultaneously backwards (the interviews are structured to delve further into her past with each instalment) and forward (each interview starts with a discussion about the unfolding political crisis that starts (or does it) with her releasing secret tapes of presidential corruption. As both stories unfurl, we see how Vita juggles her ambition, altruism and survival. Vita likes a good party for sure - and she is unapologetic about her quest for fame and fun - but she, like us, harbours her own fury at the state of her country. As she has reason, Syjaco shows us, to think she could lead better.
" Dance the Mr. Sexy-Sexy all you wish, but support the Reproductive Rights Bill and your career gets boycotted to oblivion"
The other thing Syjuco gets right here is his portrayal of systemic sexism. Bucking a stereotype, Vita's relations with women are largely supportive - one summarised by how her friend supports her social media posts with "clapping-hands emojis for every lowkey flex". In contrast, her lovers largely view her as props for them, representatives of their ideas. As much as most still lust for her, they mostly (nothing is without exception) fail to understand what she wanted from them.
And some of the one-liners here feel impossibly sharp:
"So I listened, like I do, and Rolex talked, like he loves to. He thinks his entire life’s a teachable moment. "
Vita's not above shaping details for her own gain (and another fabulous aspect to the book is the way it explores writing, storytelling and responsibility) but we can also see her perspective on why. As the book wends into how she has created her myths, we understand both why she has done so, and where some of her fury comes from. As she sadly tells the recorder "all I’ve ever wanted is to make a world where these stories aren’t so predictable."
And my gosh, the number of stories. This is a satire, so Syjuco doesn't need to make it realistic. Interviewees range from neo-fascists to ageing leftists; warlords and politicians to rich kids and (frankly evil) priests, Chinese-Pinoys and African Americans. They have survived torture and committed it. Obviously, central to the novel is a critique of Duterte and his massacres dressed in a drug war, but he also squeezes in critique of far, far more. Syjuco, raised as part of the elite he is satirising (and as far as I could tell, his critique is more about the state of things than the causes), has a sharp eye but also puts into Vita's mouth, and in the acknowledgements, his own, an admission about the impossibility of seeing things through others eyes.
But this is anything but dour. The book is peppered with one-liners, in-jokes and just extended funny writing. One of the lovers is an appalling Australian party boy. The chapter moves things forward, but also indulges, in the best way, in side-aching send up of Aussie slang and bigotry- "That ..bender’s always banging on about every Joe Blogs deserving a fair suck at the sauce bottle. Tell him he’s dreaming, mate. No wonder them Taswegian woolie woofter and his Seppo hubbie got beheaded." and "I reckon the second strangest thing about your country is your pollies, mate. Their song and dance actually includes singing and dancing. … You might see ScoMo taking it up the bum from the miners and smiling, but I reckon that’s nobody’s idea of entertainment. Except Tony Abbott’s, probs."
There is also a pork barrelling joke that goes for three increasingly hilarious pages; a corrupt governor posing as a folk hero who cannot stop calling for increasingly ridiculous food, an extended sequence categorising the president's farts "some just punctuation, others with personality: the thunderclap, the wilting rosebud, the razz, the stutter, the silent but violent, the punctured trike muffler, the concerning squish" and this description of young 90ss love "the priciest thing he ever got me: a nonpirated version of Microsoft Excel, for Valentine’s—us tumbling into bed after, to make sweet, sweet sums on practice spreadsheets on his laptop, teaching me the pleasures of conditional formatting."
The book is fun, and thought provoking, and no doubt I missed an enormous number of references, and I've covered only a tiny bit of how much is in here in this overly wrong review. It certainly isn't perfect, it is messy and clumsy and sometimes will do anything for a laugh. It won't be for everyone, but if you've made it through the whole review, it might just be for you.
"She can shift who she is, to flourish in any situation. The grateful giver for her fans. …The woketivist swinging statistics, as if they’re the whole story. And the orphan girl when it’s just you and her. Even that name—“Vita Nova”—she says it’s real, but it reeks of a plan."
"I won’t be some two-bit part in the background of someone’s novel, even if I’ll always be a hella flawed protagonist, the product of blind imaginings—even our own, made from fantasies and fears, from misconceptions and misunderstandings. But I know who I am, I’ll have you know: I’m all that, and more than you can ever know—a Filipina first, a Filipino second, a leader of one, a follower of many. All yours, baby, at your service; but always all mine, darling—more than everyone thinks, more than anyone can fathom: more than a feed on a screen, or a face on a meme, more than a character in a tell-all, and much more than the president’s mistress. I can see you eye to eye. I can look myself in the mirror. I can do all that I’m here for. And I can say, for what it’s worth (coz to me it’s worth everything)—I am Vita Nova."
*Including Alexis Wright's Praiseworthy, Han Kang's Human Acts and freaking Ulysses.
Syjuco tells the story through 24 stream-of-consciousness transcripts, covering 13 characters. At the centre is Vita Nova, a celebrity who has hired a journalist to ghostwrite her bio. Twelve of the interviews are hers, the other 12 are with her exes, a litany of characters allowing Syjuco to comment on, well, almost everything. In contrast to the kind of vapid biography everyone is expecting, the narrative is wide-ranging, sharp and, for satire, remarkably nuanced (while allowing plenty of room for very broad humour).
One of the many things the book gets very right is Vita. Who quickly establishes herself as many things, none of them vapid. The book's narrative structure moves us simultaneously backwards (the interviews are structured to delve further into her past with each instalment) and forward (each interview starts with a discussion about the unfolding political crisis that starts (or does it) with her releasing secret tapes of presidential corruption. As both stories unfurl, we see how Vita juggles her ambition, altruism and survival. Vita likes a good party for sure - and she is unapologetic about her quest for fame and fun - but she, like us, harbours her own fury at the state of her country. As she has reason, Syjaco shows us, to think she could lead better.
" Dance the Mr. Sexy-Sexy all you wish, but support the Reproductive Rights Bill and your career gets boycotted to oblivion"
The other thing Syjuco gets right here is his portrayal of systemic sexism. Bucking a stereotype, Vita's relations with women are largely supportive - one summarised by how her friend supports her social media posts with "clapping-hands emojis for every lowkey flex". In contrast, her lovers largely view her as props for them, representatives of their ideas. As much as most still lust for her, they mostly (nothing is without exception) fail to understand what she wanted from them.
And some of the one-liners here feel impossibly sharp:
"So I listened, like I do, and Rolex talked, like he loves to. He thinks his entire life’s a teachable moment. "
Vita's not above shaping details for her own gain (and another fabulous aspect to the book is the way it explores writing, storytelling and responsibility) but we can also see her perspective on why. As the book wends into how she has created her myths, we understand both why she has done so, and where some of her fury comes from. As she sadly tells the recorder "all I’ve ever wanted is to make a world where these stories aren’t so predictable."
And my gosh, the number of stories. This is a satire, so Syjuco doesn't need to make it realistic. Interviewees range from neo-fascists to ageing leftists; warlords and politicians to rich kids and (frankly evil) priests, Chinese-Pinoys and African Americans. They have survived torture and committed it. Obviously, central to the novel is a critique of Duterte and his massacres dressed in a drug war, but he also squeezes in critique of far, far more. Syjuco, raised as part of the elite he is satirising (and as far as I could tell, his critique is more about the state of things than the causes), has a sharp eye but also puts into Vita's mouth, and in the acknowledgements, his own, an admission about the impossibility of seeing things through others eyes.
But this is anything but dour. The book is peppered with one-liners, in-jokes and just extended funny writing. One of the lovers is an appalling Australian party boy. The chapter moves things forward, but also indulges, in the best way, in side-aching send up of Aussie slang and bigotry- "That ..bender’s always banging on about every Joe Blogs deserving a fair suck at the sauce bottle. Tell him he’s dreaming, mate. No wonder them Taswegian woolie woofter and his Seppo hubbie got beheaded." and "I reckon the second strangest thing about your country is your pollies, mate. Their song and dance actually includes singing and dancing. … You might see ScoMo taking it up the bum from the miners and smiling, but I reckon that’s nobody’s idea of entertainment. Except Tony Abbott’s, probs."
There is also a pork barrelling joke that goes for three increasingly hilarious pages; a corrupt governor posing as a folk hero who cannot stop calling for increasingly ridiculous food, an extended sequence categorising the president's farts "some just punctuation, others with personality: the thunderclap, the wilting rosebud, the razz, the stutter, the silent but violent, the punctured trike muffler, the concerning squish" and this description of young 90ss love "the priciest thing he ever got me: a nonpirated version of Microsoft Excel, for Valentine’s—us tumbling into bed after, to make sweet, sweet sums on practice spreadsheets on his laptop, teaching me the pleasures of conditional formatting."
The book is fun, and thought provoking, and no doubt I missed an enormous number of references, and I've covered only a tiny bit of how much is in here in this overly wrong review. It certainly isn't perfect, it is messy and clumsy and sometimes will do anything for a laugh. It won't be for everyone, but if you've made it through the whole review, it might just be for you.
"She can shift who she is, to flourish in any situation. The grateful giver for her fans. …The woketivist swinging statistics, as if they’re the whole story. And the orphan girl when it’s just you and her. Even that name—“Vita Nova”—she says it’s real, but it reeks of a plan."
"I won’t be some two-bit part in the background of someone’s novel, even if I’ll always be a hella flawed protagonist, the product of blind imaginings—even our own, made from fantasies and fears, from misconceptions and misunderstandings. But I know who I am, I’ll have you know: I’m all that, and more than you can ever know—a Filipina first, a Filipino second, a leader of one, a follower of many. All yours, baby, at your service; but always all mine, darling—more than everyone thinks, more than anyone can fathom: more than a feed on a screen, or a face on a meme, more than a character in a tell-all, and much more than the president’s mistress. I can see you eye to eye. I can look myself in the mirror. I can do all that I’m here for. And I can say, for what it’s worth (coz to me it’s worth everything)—I am Vita Nova."
*Including Alexis Wright's Praiseworthy, Han Kang's Human Acts and freaking Ulysses.
June 18, 2022
The country is in the midst of an upheaval - a scandal breaks out, the president Nando (Fernando Estregan) is facing impeachment, an assassination attempt is made on him and a snap election is in the offing.Vita Nova,the celebrity actor-singer-socialite and the former mistress of the prez ,hires the services of a writer Miguel Syjuco to pen down her memoir, which is what we gets to read, a political-philosophical-pun-porn satire .
I was smitten right from there - seeing the author Miguel Syjuco cleverly planting himself as a character - the writer of the memoir, which by the way is a novel for our consumption.
The chapters are structured from the transcripts of the audio interviews the writer had with the protagonist Vita and with many others who are/were associated with her at some point in time, interspersed, to provide us with the different perspectives.
In all of the chapters , the transcripts are in the form of , and only, monologues. You won't find the questions from the interviewer (writer) - they are either marked as muffled/inaudible/a variety of various sounds, but could (possibly) deduce them yourself from the answers.Thats a freaking 350 odd pager purely built on monologues - 13 chapters dedicated to Vita and more than half a dozen to the rest of the characters - the president , the governor, an American, a bishop, an estranged lover, a journalist and many more.
Miguel's prose is supremely fluid.With an out of the world command over the English language and a generous use of Spanish and Tagalog, his narratives knew no bounds. Miguel's writing style was reminiscent of Viet Thanh Nguyen's because I had read the latter first, only to realize that the former is a forerunner from a publication standpoint.
Speaking of the pain points - the verbosity was in a tad more dosage than what I was exposed to, that many a time I had challenges deciphering the context.
So was the unbounded narrative, which was great to a larger extent, at times detours into incoherence , during when, the book slid down from its vantage to I almost wishing it a good riddance.
All these said , will I still dare lay my hands on another of Miguel's works ,say "Ilustrado" ? A resounding YES.
I was smitten right from there - seeing the author Miguel Syjuco cleverly planting himself as a character - the writer of the memoir, which by the way is a novel for our consumption.
The chapters are structured from the transcripts of the audio interviews the writer had with the protagonist Vita and with many others who are/were associated with her at some point in time, interspersed, to provide us with the different perspectives.
In all of the chapters , the transcripts are in the form of , and only, monologues. You won't find the questions from the interviewer (writer) - they are either marked as muffled/inaudible/a variety of various sounds, but could (possibly) deduce them yourself from the answers.Thats a freaking 350 odd pager purely built on monologues - 13 chapters dedicated to Vita and more than half a dozen to the rest of the characters - the president , the governor, an American, a bishop, an estranged lover, a journalist and many more.
Miguel's prose is supremely fluid.With an out of the world command over the English language and a generous use of Spanish and Tagalog, his narratives knew no bounds. Miguel's writing style was reminiscent of Viet Thanh Nguyen's because I had read the latter first, only to realize that the former is a forerunner from a publication standpoint.
Speaking of the pain points - the verbosity was in a tad more dosage than what I was exposed to, that many a time I had challenges deciphering the context.
So was the unbounded narrative, which was great to a larger extent, at times detours into incoherence , during when, the book slid down from its vantage to I almost wishing it a good riddance.
All these said , will I still dare lay my hands on another of Miguel's works ,say "Ilustrado" ? A resounding YES.
April 14, 2025
A lengthy novel that likes to hear itself talk, with a touch of hysteria that tends to counter-act the social commentary re political corruption and power grabbing as well as sexism (hello, Rodrigo Duterte).
May 24, 2022
Such a brilliant, incredible, hilarious book about the Philippines but not the Philippines...but really the Philippines. Through the different POVs (that all feel so familiar and palpable, and written with such amazing wordplay--Syjuco was able to create characters in each one, and yet you feel like you know someone who thinks and talks like this in real life), this "compilation of transcripts reveal the absurdity, tragedy, and straight-up insanity that is the state of our politics and democracy. I hope this reminds us Filipinos (and everyone else) about the precarious nature of our freedoms and voices, and may we learn to stand up for them.
Also, laughed so much at name changes (like Arneo de Manille Université, Ruffler, Hari Pukeh, and T.T. Giordon HAHA) as well as the all-too-familiar references from our past and culture (like tae bo Billy Blanks and coupons from Saisaki hahahahaha).
Also, laughed so much at name changes (like Arneo de Manille Université, Ruffler, Hari Pukeh, and T.T. Giordon HAHA) as well as the all-too-familiar references from our past and culture (like tae bo Billy Blanks and coupons from Saisaki hahahahaha).
September 10, 2024
Really good. Syjuco makes every character real. The world he builds surrounding Vita Nova and all of her previous lovers is simply astounding in its attention to detail and connection to the real world. Somehow, no two characters feel the same—they're all as different as they can be, with complex motivations, contexts, the like. The interview format makes it easier to sympathize with the characters, whose perspectives are complex and nuanced no matter the argument. You can tell Syjuco has done his research or lived through this novel's environment. Every character gets their chance to shine, and Syjuco makes it clear that it is up to the reader to judge the circumstances of the novel, right up until the very end.
4.9/5
4.9/5
October 29, 2022
On the one hand, Syjuco is brilliant. This book is chock full of references ranging from literary to pop culture. It’s so packed, it’ll make your head spin. It’s impossible not to be thoroughly impressed by his ability to address important issues (in the Philippines) with both depth and range. That said, this absolutely lost me stylistically. It reads very much like one excruciatingly long rant. While there are several characters who speak, the overarching narrative voice remains the same – opinionatedly, satirically aggressive. Love the brilliance. Couldn’t engage with the narrative style.
December 30, 2022
I was drawn in by the two exclamation pointed title and stayed for the Filipinos and the black humor. As a Fil-Am, this book reminds me of sinigang - tangy, especially when viewed through the eyes of its wily and witty protagonist Vita Nova, yet scrumptious at the same time, providing us with reflections on life in a society ravaged by colonization, dictatorship, and exploitation. While it becomes difficult to keep track the innumerable names and events that Syjuco names, it is precisely the detail with which he takes on each character's perspective that makes this book stand out to me. Characters don't simply manifest out of thin air; they have distinct childhood memories, favorite foods, go-to conspiracy theories. In this way, Syjuco gave me something that's hard to find in books that talk about Filipinos - Filipinos are no longer docile victims or corrupt fools, they just are.
September 2, 2022
Miguel Syjuco's second novel is a well-timed satire of the current Filipino political climate; his writing is sharp, witty, and biting no matter which side of the political divide you fall under. The epistolary nature of the novel--told through interviews--gives Syjuco many opportunities to comment on Filipino politics, and Filipinos and their society as a whole, from the points-of-view of numerous characters. He is able to give each character a distinct voice and set of opinions, whether societally or politically, and each character typifies the group or movement he is meant to embody. The story is almost secondary to the commentary each interview makes, though it definitely picks up in the back half of the novel. I would give the novel 4-stars but for the way it ends, though I expect that itself is a commentary on the uncertain future of the Philippines. It's a strong 3.5/5 for me.
April 6, 2026
It was a bit of a struggle for me to get through most of the book, which only picks up in the last 100 pages or so. The only force that kept me going was its dynamic use of voice and the specificity of its settings, characters, and unrepentantly Filipino references. The purpose of its form comes together in the last few transcripts and its last few pages, which in other works could come off a gimmicky, leaves the reader to decide the ending, and in doing so reveals more about the reader’s own outlook.
Compared to Ilustrado, which blurred the lines between protagonist, narrator, and author, this novel blurs the line between author and unseen interviewer, which was an experience I appreciated.
The book has many commendable elements but ultimately, it’s a book I wish I could say I liked more.
Compared to Ilustrado, which blurred the lines between protagonist, narrator, and author, this novel blurs the line between author and unseen interviewer, which was an experience I appreciated.
The book has many commendable elements but ultimately, it’s a book I wish I could say I liked more.
February 18, 2025
Terrible title and cover art, but they both somehow cover the content of this novel.
This is a series of interviews with the former mistress of a former, impeached, president of the Philippines (say, Duterte), as well as with every other man she has had a relationship with. In the background runs a campaign for the next president.
All interviews are raw accounts, coloured by the characters specific backgrounds. Slang prevails.
There are scathing insights into the rotten side of Filipino society here, as well as brilliant linguistic tricks. Somewhere halfway the book, it all became tedious and repetitive, though, lacking a strong connecting message.
For Syjuco’s masterpiece, read his debut novel Ilustrado. Hopefully he comes with something stronger next.
This is a series of interviews with the former mistress of a former, impeached, president of the Philippines (say, Duterte), as well as with every other man she has had a relationship with. In the background runs a campaign for the next president.
All interviews are raw accounts, coloured by the characters specific backgrounds. Slang prevails.
There are scathing insights into the rotten side of Filipino society here, as well as brilliant linguistic tricks. Somewhere halfway the book, it all became tedious and repetitive, though, lacking a strong connecting message.
For Syjuco’s masterpiece, read his debut novel Ilustrado. Hopefully he comes with something stronger next.
February 3, 2024
I should’ve thoroughly checked the reviews before i bought the book. The writing style is DIZZYING and i just dont think there’s enough pay off at the end of the book for me to endure it. You have to have a particular way of appreciating literature and unique writing in order to appreciate what this book is “trying” to do.
For people going into this book blind, note that there’s repetitive use of Filipino/vernacular language and references to very context specific Filipino experiences so just keep that in mind. Also, there’s no footnotes to navigate you while reading so you may have to rely on google to look up every single foreign term.
For people going into this book blind, note that there’s repetitive use of Filipino/vernacular language and references to very context specific Filipino experiences so just keep that in mind. Also, there’s no footnotes to navigate you while reading so you may have to rely on google to look up every single foreign term.
July 16, 2022
Here’s to the book that launched a month-long reading slump. So many good tidbits, but I can’t tell if it’s brain degeneration that made me enjoy this book much less than I would’ve wanted to because of how chunky and clunky the narrative was. I get that that may have been the attention, but as much as I liked the true-to-life references and anecdotes, I could feel my head hurt more than once. Regardless, extremely relevant and timely to our current times, and I’m glad to have read it regardless.
September 25, 2024
🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑
finished 9/25/24 ; 3.5/5 ; book 58/66
While I quite liked the story this book was trying to tell, ultimately I think its format (while brash and daring) cluttered the thesis and made the book much longer and more drawn out than it needed to be.
I would have liked more focus on Vita exclusively- perhaps the author instead of an interviewer here is more of a direct ghost writer of her auto/biography (instead of just merely the transcriber)? I’m not sure. Something here didn’t click for me, though I admire the confidence and deftness in telling the story in this specific format
finished 9/25/24 ; 3.5/5 ; book 58/66
While I quite liked the story this book was trying to tell, ultimately I think its format (while brash and daring) cluttered the thesis and made the book much longer and more drawn out than it needed to be.
I would have liked more focus on Vita exclusively- perhaps the author instead of an interviewer here is more of a direct ghost writer of her auto/biography (instead of just merely the transcriber)? I’m not sure. Something here didn’t click for me, though I admire the confidence and deftness in telling the story in this specific format
August 6, 2025
The pure camp of the cover sold this to me, but then I started reading it. It's billed as a tell-all memoir of this character, but in truth it's presented as unedited transcripts of her recorded ramblings. The chapters are long, unyielding paragraphs with breaks only for her laughter or coughing, etc. Perhaps this presentation as a monolog was an attempt at something novel, but from the very beginning, reading this felt like slamming into a brick wall of text. If you're the type of pertain who can suffer a relentless stream of consciousness, by all means, please enjoy.
January 28, 2024
Bitingly witty, scarily relevant. Syjuco, Man Asian Prize recipient and author of Ilustrado, shocks and endears with his cast of characters in I Was The President's Mistress!! American readers will have their eyes opened to the political and cultural landscape of the Philippines, and hear echoes of their own woes. Charming social media stars, corrupt populists, sensitive poets, and all the DJ's you fucked in college make this novel a hell of a rollercoaster, and a most delightful read.
Did not finish
July 14, 2025Even keeping in mind that this was likely satirical, I was thinking it would serve as a crash course in the Philippines’ (recent?) history. However, I just could not get into the format, the structure … there were too many references that I could also not follow (maybe I needed to know a little more of the real history to understand).
Maybe I’ll come back to this someday. Maybe.
Or maybe I will just remain the lazy reader that I am. 😩
Maybe I’ll come back to this someday. Maybe.
Or maybe I will just remain the lazy reader that I am. 😩
July 9, 2022
I am having a hard time to get back to this book. I purchased this to cheer myself up after the PH elections and was highly hopeful towards where the book it's headed. I just got tired with the chapter that's a verbatim of the President's speech and I couldn't pick the book up again from there. Hoping I get back into the perfect zen to read it again.
August 1, 2022
Not an easy read but overall enjoyable — glad to have gone through this post-elections, else I wouldn’t have been able to go through the first few chapters. This one isn’t for those who are unfamiliar with Philippine politics since the author didn’t really have to create fictional characters to paint the political landscape for the novel (faves: EES, Hari Pukeh, Toti Otots the Turd).
June 29, 2022
Was excited for this book but I can’t get into it. Duterte-Marcos-pacquiao esque characters were entertaining for a bit but that wore off immediately. Brute forced this one and could only get halfway through it. Not a fan of the structure. I’m so sorry. Enjoyed ilustrado though.
June 26, 2024
SO BAD. I bought it bc Eli Batuman was raving about it on the back, but I think maybe it’s because it’s a little pretentious. It was all stream of consciousness garble and there’s not even a reward for all your hard work. Being hard to understand does not make a book good.
May 18, 2022
Fiction
362 pages
Too much rambling. What really happened?
I didn't care. Waste of my time.
362 pages
Too much rambling. What really happened?
I didn't care. Waste of my time.
Did not finish
June 5, 2022Can’t get into it. It’s the writing style.
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