Esteem Punk: Illustrations by Amy Siever

by Amber Showalter, Amy Siever (Illustrator)

This book was written by a 16-year-old emo-punk girl. In the year 2000. That's right, the poems in Amber Showalter's sophomore collection were actually written when she was a sophomore. In high school. She has pieced this book together twenty years later, in the hopes that those who are dealing with similar issues that she did as a teenager will identify with her words and feel less alone in their darkness. Esteem Punk chronicles Showalter's struggles as an unlikely aspiring model who, after years of bullying and an incident of stalking that ended up criminal, turned to self-harm as a coping mechanism. Many of the poems were written during times of heartache and are almost lyrical, some have the urgency of crisis, and some point to the detrimental effects that our society’s unattainable beauty standards can have. Showalter wants her readers to know that they are not alone in their struggles, particularly if they can relate to the topics of these writings, and that there are resources available to help. Of course, Esteem Punk is not without the edge, peppery curse words and glimmers of hope that readers have come to expect from Amber Showalter. But this time, it's an angsty, teenage Amber Showalter who has just started to play with poetry. We find ourselves anywhere from graffitiing a high school locker room with lipstick ("Graffiti in the Bathroom"), to staying out past curfew in a strange city ("Midnight, Dallas, Texas"), to reminiscing about the daily crossing of paths on the last night of summer ("Slides to be Slanted"). As always, Amy Siever's beautiful illustrations accompany Showalter's words, and do not disappoint.

102 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 9, 2022

About the author

Born to be a rock star, but also born completely tone deaf, Amber Showalter learned early on to use written word as a weapon, as an epitaph, as her own spoken siren song.

A self-proclaimed Type-A punk, world traveler and ex-model, Amber now makes a living as a broken heart nurse in Virginia. She has been writing poetry since she was fifteen. "The Carrion of Songs" is her first collection.

Reviews

[Eryn McConnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh this is good. And all the better as the author wrote these when she was a teen. I was writing poetry at 16. But I couldn't get the words out like this.
I particularly loved No Name, Rag Doll and Carnivorous but I would say every one is a treat. It's dark and messy and angry and utterly harrowing. I so recommend it.

[C.J. Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A written review might not be able to do this work justice

“Life is not a movie…” A repeated theme in Amber Showalter’s poems. And yet she writes a script and directs a film through words that rivals the biggest blockbuster hits of cinematic history. An absolute must read… from a true star of an author.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another truly amazing collection by this poet and at such a young age! So powerful and beautifully written, you can feel the emotions in her writing.