Love Me, Love Me Not

by Kirsty Capes

Lucy Banbury is fine. Until she isn't...

Lucy Banbury isn't the sort of person that everyone gets along with - she's prickly and secretive, and she likes things ordered 'just so'. But things couldn't be going better for her - she swims three times a week, she's on the cusp of a huge promotion at work and she's dating someone perfect on paper.

But when she discovers at a family wedding that she's adopted, her whole world is shattered. Those cracks she's taken years to plaster over are beginning to surface and she's not sure how much longer she can keep all her secrets hidden, all whilst pretending to be someone she's not...

Because how can you pretend to love your life, when nobody loves you?

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, London, Romance

384 pages, Hardcover

First published July 7, 2022

About the author

Kirsty Capes is the author of three novels including Careless, which was longlisted for the Women's Prize for Fiction 2022. She lives in Slough, UK, with her golden retriever, Doug.

Reviews

[Rebekka · Rating 4 out of 5]

I SOO enjoyed this book.

An amazingly character-driven book that takes emotion, life, and relationship in such a real way and puts in on paper. While I have not lived some stuff as the character did, I could relate some stuff to myself and feel the emotion that should be transferred.

I loved that all characters feel real. This could happen. They are not picture perfect, not immediately a villain but just humans. There are the horrid people, but they are written so well that even though you know they are horrid you know why the character does what she does.

[Beth McCallum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oooooooh, my. I'm so sad that I didn't love this book, after loving Capes' debut novel Careless SO BLOOOODY MUCH. But this just felt like it had second novel syndrome. It was rushed and lacked depth and the premise was more interesting than the actual novel (plus it was misleading).

The premise is that Lucy finds out that she was adopted when she's in her 20s and how she deals with it. But we don't really get much of that story. Instead, the book is more about how she breaks down a version of herself that she has built for everyone in her life, including herself; it's about her weird and complicated relationships with her roommates; it's about her work; it's really about how BORING she is. This book isn't really about adoption, family, identity, secrets, lies or any of the chaos that I felt we were promised.

This book is the same three chapters on repeat: Lucy on the cusp of a mental breakdown, Lucy trying to figure out her roommates, Lucy occasionally talking to her family.

I got quite bored, but I was determined to finish it, but really, I wouldn't recommend this or think about it much again. However, I'll still read Capes' next novel as I do love Careless and the fact that Capes advocates for people in the foster care system.

[Tash Webster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another of those not-quite-coming-of-age, learning-to-love-yourself novels featuring a fierce, maybe slightly crazy and not always entirely likeable female protagonist that I ADORE. Lucy is an amazing character and I empathise so much with her; she's confident and sure in what she wants and who she is - until she isn't. When she unexpectedly finds out that she was adopted, she begins to question everything about herself and her life, no longer sure of what's real or a façade. I've had my own similar bombshell revelations dropped on me and Capes captures the feelings perfectly, the denial and fear, the anger, and eventually the acceptance and resolution. Sometimes Lucy reacts badly, or acts in a brash and unfriendly manner, and while it makes somewhat unlikeable, I find it just makes her all the more real, because none of us are perfect. It's great to see more representation in contemporary fiction for people from care and non-binary people.

Thanks to the publishers for the review copy!

[Anna Sawlani · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was quite a different story to the one I thought I was reading. I picked it up as I thought the adoption storyline would be interesting, and it’s framed as quite a big part of the book. In reality - I guess spoiler alert maybe? It’s not a hugely prevalent part of the story as opposed to other things. I did still enjoy the book and found myself wanting to read it, but I wasn’t as obsessed with it as I am with a book when I am like LOVING it. So overall I’d say it was a good read, some nice moments, but it probably wouldn’t be one I’d insist on you reading

[Meg Varney · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book was honestly nearly a dnf for me. i felt like the first 100 pages did not grip me in any way, i felt like there was very little in regards to plot and the main character came off a bit insufferable. however, after revisiting this book after a month, i can truthfully say that i enjoyed it. i think the main problem is that it’s advertised under the romance genre and if you pick this book up expecting a romantic comedy, you are going to be very disappointed!

[Vicki Kerley-Styles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really moving and gripping but had my pet hate of no speech marks!

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Lucy Banbury discovers at a family wedding that she's adopted, her whole world is shattered. Those cracks she's taken years to plaster over are beginning to surface and she's not sure how much longer she can keep all her secrets hidden, all whilst pretending to be someone she's not...

Lucy worries about everything, what people are saying or thinking about her, a constant battle that always ends with her feeling she is not good enough. Without meaning to she alienates people by saying the wrong thing. Lucy is also a bit OCD when it comes to dirt or mess.

Kirsty Capes has done an excellent job on portraying a character brought up to hide her feelings, not cry and pretend everything is okay all of the time. This is not surprising considering all the aspects of her life that have been hidden from her, subconsciously Lucy acts it all out. If she can just do this or that, she won’t feel like an outsider but of course it is all slowly crumbling around her and that needs to happen in order for Lucy to find a reality she can fit into.

This feels like a new story, not just an adoption story but one that takes those subconscious feelings around not fitting in and brings them into the open for a good airing before replacing with hope. I really enjoyed getting to know Lucy and had my fingers crossed for her the whole way through.

[Deannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this after reading Girls. I found myself quite bored halfway through and forcing myself to finish. 2.5 ⭐️

[Bethan Lever · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Very emotional and so easy to read, couldn’t put it down.

[Marguerite Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will confess up front that I know Kirsty Capes from her other life working in Mills&Boon, and it was only very recently that I discovered that she’d written two books. This is the second of them. I don’t often say this, but it totally blew me away! I loved it with a big love, I raced through it, I laughed, I cried, then I cried again. It had that very rare thing, a totally perfect ending, as far as I am concerned, that balanced what you wanted with what was appropriate to the story. Basically, I can’t praise it highly enough.

Lucy Banbury is a very difficult heroine in every way. She’s prickly, she’s defensive, she’s hyper-aware of her image, she’s created a persona that she inhabits so well that she hasn’t a clue who she really is. At the start of the book, she has discovered that she is adopted, and is in the process of trying to shore up the ‘perfect’ life that she’s created for herself, to paper over the ever-widening cracks, and to bury all the questions this discovery has raised, deep, deep, deep. She’s helped by the fact that her adoptive parents don’t communicate. She’s helped by the fact that she believes her friends all really despise her and so she doesn’t need to confide nor is she encouraged to confide. She’s helped by the anodyne work she does, and the anodyne relationships she has through a dating app. But still, the cracks continue to grow. And still, Lucy struggles to ignore them. She breaks down, then she picks herself up. Those occasional windows into her state of mind are heart-wrenching for those who see them and for the reader, and the sheer effort of will it takes her to pull herself back together makes your teeth clench. You want her to break down, but you don’t, because it wouldn’t fix her, it would destroy her, and my goodness, but as a reader you really want Lucy to make it.

This is a voyage of discovery novel, a personal, highly emotional journey taken by Lucy, but also by her family, by her flatmates (who I loved, and who have all sorts of issues of their own). Lucy is beautifully, delicately drawn. She’s so vulnerable, she’s so prickly, she’s so endearing, and there are so many times that you want to hug her. And so many times that you want to shake her. And so many times that you want to say, just talk to him/her. There’s romantic elements in this story, but the romance is the one Lucy has with herself and her adoptive family – eventually. Clearly, the author has drawn from her own experiences, but equally clearly, she writes beautifully, evocatively, brilliantly.
I didn’t want this to end, and in a way it didn’t, which may be a sticking point for some. I’ve said I loved the ending and I did. It doesn’t tie up all the ends neatly. It doesn’t give you answers – in fact there’s one big question that is very, very bravely left unanswered – kudos for that! The ending was perfect for the story. It was a perfect story. Just in case I’ve not made it clear – I loved this, and I’ve already downloaded her first book too.

[Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lucy wants to be in control, but her life is chaotic. She's trying to live the London life, but instead is reeling from the revelation that she is adopted.

This story is enjoyable, but the chaos that is Lucy's life also seems to somewhat dominate the way the story is told. There were many occasions where people just speaking directly to each other would have made for a more straightforward life for Lucy - and story overall. As a result, I didn't feel this was the kind of book you could relax with and instead was one where you had to go with the slightly frustrating and frenetic life that Lucy lived.

If you enjoy this book and haven't yet read Kirsty Capes' first book 'Careless' then it's definitely worth a read.

[Alessandra Bassi · Rating 4 out of 5]

First there is the review in Italian then the English one –
Prima c'è la recensione in italiano poi quella in inglese
4,7
Letto in inglese.
Intenso, inaspettato. Leggendo questo romanzo hai l’impressione di incontrare persone più che di conoscere personaggi. Fra i numerosi temi, ci sono l’adozione e gli abusi, e anche la stupidità delle persone (talvolta delle brave persone benintenzionate), e i danni seguenti, che pagano di solito altri, di solito i piccoli e i giovani.
Lucy ha saputo di essere stata adottata in modo traumatico e improvviso nel corso del matrimonio della cugina e da allora non risponde più ai messaggi della madre. Cerca di concentrarsi su quello che le piace della sua vita e in questo assomiglia a molte persone…
Ci sono però movimenti nei suoi coinquilini e se sceglierne di nuovi sembra scomodo e faticoso, queste evoluzioni portano Lucy a conoscere meglio altre persone e in definitiva anche se stessa.
Interessante l’evoluzione di Lucy rispetto alla scoperta dell’adozione, che ha rappresentato un momento difficile ma le dà modo di vedere la sua storia, le sue fatiche con le persone, le sue relazioni familiari e sentimentali in modi diversi e anche inaspettati.
Alcune parti intense riguardano l’adozione: mentre parla con le sue più care amiche, a cui non ha ancora detto nulla dell’adozione, Lucy si sente bene: “Si sente a suo agio, cosa rara per lei. (...) come sembra accadere spesso ultimamente, il pensiero della sua vera madre, la sua madre biologica, affiora alla superficie della sua coscienza. Cosa sta facendo sua madre adesso? Sta pensando a Lucy, proprio come Lucy sta pensando a lei? Non riesce a evocare un'immagine di lei nella sua mente”.
Poi ho trovato molte cose che succedono un po’ a tutti: Lucy pensa a sua madre che le manda messaggi a cui lei non risponde e “Pensa di chiamarla. Pensa di accettare la cosa che sta nascondendo. Ma ha paura di come la farà sentire”.
Quante volte non sono solo le cose in sé a farci a farci star male, ma la nostra paura di star male?



4.7
Read in English.
Intense, unexpected. Reading this novel, you feel like you are meeting people rather than getting to know characters. Among the many themes are adoption and abuse, as well as the stupidity of people (sometimes well-meaning good people) and the resulting damage, which is usually paid for by others, usually children and young people.
Lucy learned that she had been adopted in a traumatic and sudden way during her cousin's wedding and since then she no longer responds to her mother's messages. She tries to focus on what she likes about her life and in this she resembles many people...
However, there are changes among her flatmates, and although choosing new ones seems inconvenient and tiring, these developments lead Lucy to get to know other people better and, ultimately, herself too.
Lucy's evolution with regard to the discovery of her adoption is interesting. It was a difficult moment, but it gave her the opportunity to see her history, her struggles with people, and her family and loving relationships in different and even unexpected ways.
Some intense parts concern the adoption: while talking to her closest friends, to whom she has not yet said anything about the adoption, Lucy feels good: “She feels at ease, which is rare for her. (…) as it seems to be doing a lot recently, the thought of her real mother, her biological mother, swims to the surface of her consciousness. What is her mother doing now? Is she thinking of Lucy, just as Lucy is thinking of her? She can’t conjure an image of her in ger mind”.
Then I found many things that happen to everyone: Lucy thinks about her mother, sending her messages that she doesn't reply and “She considers calling her. She considers taking the thing she is hiding out. But she’s afraid of how it’s going to make her feel”.
How often is it not the things themselves that make us feel bad, but our fear of feeling bad?

[Helen_t_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lucy Banbury isn’t the sort of person that everyone gets along with. She even describes herself as ‘ginger, pale, skinny and neurotic’. She’s prickly and secretive, and she likes things ordered ‘just so’.
But, things couldn’t be going better for her – she swims three times a week, she’s on the cusp of a huge promotion at work and she’s dating someone perfect on paper.

When she discovers at a family wedding that she’s adopted, her whole world is shattered. Cracks she’s taken years to plaster over are beginning to surface and she’s not sure how much longer she can keep all her secrets hidden, all whilst pretending to be someone she’s not…

I really enjoyed Kirsty Capes’ debut novel Careless, which is told in the striking voice of its main character Bess, and LMLMN has an equally arresting main character in Lucy. She is a stunning portrait of social anxiety, low self-esteem and a complete lack of confidence. Lucy is the queen of masking; of hyper-sensitivity to how she looks, appears and sounds; of hiding her past; of trying desperately to fit in and to be liked; of reinventing herself and adopting a new and carefully crafted persona – to the point that even Lucy doesn’t really know who she is anymore. Eventually she comes to see it as an impossible prison she has created for herself, by pretending to be someone who is fundamentally not herself.

It is so heart-rendingly sad to see, and for Lucy it is utterly exhausting, but what has caused Lucy to be this way? Was it the bullying she was subject to at the hands of her older brother? Or maybe that her parents never believed her when she tried to tell them about it? We don’t know the full story and feel there has to be more to it than that. The whole edifice that Lucy has created to control all her insecurities begins to crumble once she learns in the worst way possible that she is adopted. Coming from a family of stiff-upper-lippers and non-communicators she tries to be that way too, pushing everything to the back of her mind, trying to carry on by not confronting it, but inevitably it causes her to question everything about her life and she begins to unravel.

As the story unfolds, more and more layers of the onion are peeled away, and her full backstory is revealed. Finally the reader begins to understand everything, and, in the process of Lucy’s breaking apart and hitting rock bottom, just like the microwave she throws over the balcony, we see her move from denial to realisation to acceptance and from there to moving forwards to a more honest, open, authentic and true-to-herself way of living. By the end of the novel she is in a much better place, and there is a real note of hope for her future.

If you enjoy a character driven novel, you will love this amazing character study. We don’t always like Lucy or approve of her actions, and she often frustrates us, but she always has our sympathy. As a reader your heart absolutely goes out to her. The other characters are equally well drawn and come alive on the page, but Lucy is a tour de force.

I also liked the way that Kirsty Capes isn’t afraid to resist the urge to tie up the ending with a pretty ribbon. It isn’t pat, she doesn’t spoil this fantastic novel with an all-ends-happily-ever-after, but she does leave enough hints for us to see where things are leading and we’re more than happy with that.

[Tilly Fitzgerald · Rating 4 out of 5]

I adored Kirsty’s debut Careless, but it’s quite possible I loved this even more…

Lucy wants to be liked, but she worries that in trying to do so she just pushes people away. She never seems to be able to just be herself without thinking what other people think of her and worrying how she’s seen. She lives in London, works hard at her job and is dating a wealthy posh guy so that she can build a life which is totally different to the one she grew up struggling in. But when she finds out she’s adopted, then becomes closer to her flatmate, the life Lucy thought she wanted suddenly becomes unclear, and she might finally work out who she really is.

SO much to relate to here. As someone with some serious social anxiety, I found Lucy such a refreshingly honest and compelling character - it was great to see those feelings of never quite fitting in or saying the right thing reflected in a character. Whilst I wouldn’t say Lucy was instantly likeable, she had a lot of layers and I loved how they seemed to be unravelled as the story went on, until I kind of loved her!

I love the way Kirsty writes stories for characters who don’t often get their own leading role - I think in many circumstances Lucy would be cast as the uptight nemesis to some sweet upbeat woman, so it was great to flip that on its head. It’s also a novel which deals with a lot of emotional themes, like adoption, loss, and sexual assault, but it does so in a sensitive but realistic way. I also found it surprisingly funny at times, with such astute observations on some classic London types!

I really enjoyed this one - I pretty much devoured it in an afternoon as I was so invested in Lucy’s story. Plus there was the world’s cutest dog so obviously it was going to be a winner 🤷‍♀️ Kirsty is just absolutely one to watch.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goddddddddddddd- this book was excellent. I loved 'Careless' a few months back but this has topped it.

This is the story of Lucy, a character I didn't really like at the beginning of the book. She has the 'perfect' job, lives in central London and goes to pains to describe her fizzing social life. But all is not as it seems and there are many things about Lucy which are splintered, including her relationship with her alcoholic brother Danny and the fact she's just found out she's adopted.

First thing's first, Capes is a beautiful writer. Of course she is, she literally teaches people creative writing. Everything is described in a very readable way whilst also being subtly beautiful. It's easy to eat up her narratives in record time.

Next, I need to talk about Cam. A gorgeous character. Just enough of him comes out throughout the story to make you fall in love with him. A solid example of a nice guy with nothing to prove. I won't say too much about where things go but I will say it was satisfying and put a massive grin on my face.

There were issues confronted in the book which were serious- abuse, manipulation, panic attacks, adoption, abandonment. Capes handled these delicately, leaving the reader to fill gaps rather than putting too much out and laying it bare. This was a powerful way to write, and meant it wasn't too triggering to read.

Finally, I think Capes really captures the times in her stories. She writes about modern yuppie life in the city with all the requisite ingredients (flatshares, bullshit corporate jobs, lying on social media as if you're happy, shallow friends, struggling artists). She also dissects class wide and lays it bare.

A masterpiece. I'd read it if you have the chance.

[Andie Olive · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot express how much I loved reading this book.

The story begins after Lucy discovers a family secret that changes her life.
For some people, she may not be an easy person to like. She can come across as uptight, arrogant, and prickly.

In reality, she is extremely insecure, and desperately wants to be liked. She is constantly worried about what other people think of her.

But without meaning to she does exactly the opposite of what she wants by saying or doing the wrong thing, which pushes people away and alienates her even more.

When her life is shattered, all the cracks she tried to hide her whole life begin to surface, and pretending to be someone else starts to be unbearable.

I think the way Kristy wrote the story, by slowly unraveling each layer of her personality, is a great life lesson.

I'm sure a lot of readers immediately disliked Lucy based on a lot of preconceived ideas of how people should behave socially, and just like in real life, once we get to know her better it’s impossible not to love her.

I feel like so many people can relate, in some form or another, to her. Most of has have felt misunderstood, lonely, or unloved at some point in our lives.

She has what society considers an amazing life. She has a senior role in a start-up, lives in London, hangs out with the cool crowd, and is dating a wealthy posh boyfriend. But, she is completely miserable and is constantly in a state of social anxiety and exhaustion.

It’s heartbreaking to read at times. There are some really sad moments but surprisingly there’s also a lot of laughter and hope.

I’ve read Careless and now this book from Kristy Capes and the gentle and respectful way she writes about such painful and sensitive topics is extraordinary.

[Anji Andrews · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like this book was a solid 4 stars most of the way through but the unravelling of the final third of it was absolutely brilliant, pushing it up to a definite 5 stars.

Love me, Love me not begins with Lucy’s flatmate situation fracturing and the addition of a new housemate Ash in place of Cam’s girlfriend and incidentally Lucy’s colleague Anais moving out. You’re immediately thrown into some of the panic and anxiety Lucy feels about everything, from public transport, to work, to a horrible smell in the microwave, to relationships. It transpires early into the book that Lucy has recently found out she was adopted and it’s thrown her confidence and self worth into chaos.

This is a beautifully written book that reminded me a lot at times of Normal People, one of my favourite books of the last few years. The style is similar in that none of the dialogue contains speech marks, yet it reads like poetry rather than being a distraction. The development of the characters, especially Lucy, Cam and Ash is wonderfully done and the addition of rescue dog Winston is the icing on the cake. There are lots of themes explored without any of it feeling heavy, and I thought the descriptions of Lucy’s panic attacks were brilliant.

While this felt slow to get into the pay off was brilliant with a really satisfying ending. I recommend both this and Capes’ first novel Careless as really thoughtful and unique books.

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked Kirsty's first book, and this was also a very good read. Twenty-something Lucy Banbury's life looks fine on the surface - she has a good job which she claims to love, and carefully curates her London girl-about-town persona. Underneath, she worries obsessively about what people think of her, convinced she's never good enough and never able to relax and drop her guard for a second. Despite her efforts she still often manages to say the wrong thing and alienate people. It's an exhausting business being Lucy, because just under the surface is a teeming mass of insecurity and family issues, not least her alcoholic brother Danny and the fact that she's only just found out she's adopted.

It's a real journey of self-discovery for Lucy , but it's also a rattling good read with some great characters. Cam was a diamond (and Winston, of course), though Anais and Ash were a bit annoying. I did love the Winston storyline. The ending leaves things hanging a bit in terms of any answers regarding the adoption, but I understand why it was done this way.

A shoehorned-in reference at one point to Lucy watching a YouTube video "about TERFs", apropos of nothing, felt clumsy and ill-judged, and should probably be edited out.

Generally a really well written book with some interesting characters, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

[Jennifer Li · Rating 5 out of 5]

🏊‍♀️ I adored this book!! Lucy is clearly not an easy person to like, she’s prickly, a closed book and cannot stand dirt or mess. She has no filter and will say things that are hurtful. But there is more to her character than meets the eye. She was brought up to hold feelings in and not cry, and so she’s lived her life not showing her vulnerabilities and pretending she is ok all the time. Lucy is also very insecure and just wants to be liked and loved. So the news that she’s has been lied to by her loved ones and she isn’t related to them by blood completely shatters her sense of reality. It’s really heartbreaking to read. The author has done a brilliant job at presenting Lucy in such a tender and empathetic light. I didn’t like her to begin with but she grew on me. I felt very protective of her especially towards the middle/second half of the book.

🏊‍♀️I also loved all the other characters that were distinct and fully formed (well maybe apart from Tom..!). I don’t want to share any spoilers but Lucy’s flatmates, Ash and Cam, are great and see Lucy for who she is, even though she can’t.

🏊‍♀️The narrative feels fresh and real. I loved the writing. As well as being quite sad, it made me laugh too and there’s a strong feeling of hope. If anyone feels misunderstood, lonely or unloved, I think this book will provide so much comfort.

🏊‍♀️Lastly, shout-out to the gorgeous cover 😻

[KathVBtn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Me Love Me Not is a worthy companion novel to Careless, Kirsty Capes' brilliant first book.

Where Careless explored the care system from an insider's point of view, LMLMN features Lucy, who only found out that she was adopted when she was an adult. We meet Lucy after she's found out the lifechanging news - the story of how she finds out is heart-breaking when we learn it later in the book.

At first meeting, Lucy has achieved everything she's set out to get, at 26 she has a senior role in a start up, good friends, lovely flatmates and presents as very successful and put-together. But this is all a façade, and as readers we know this long before Lucy does. She keeps her emotions firmly locked up and over analyses every conversation whilst its happening Lucy sees herself as happy and lighthearted but this isnt how others perceive her. She is simultaneously terrified of people finding out the truth about her working class family and alcoholic brother, she keeps them at arms length as well.

Reading the book, I just wanted to give Lucy a big cuddle and tell her she's enough as she is, that she doesn't have to change herself to fit in with anybody's demands least of all her own, The story is a glorious journey of acceptance and learning to find your own voice. I read it in one take and would have loved it to go on for longer!

[Melissa Surgey · Rating 4 out of 5]

CW: Adoption, alcohol abuse, sexual assault

A thoughtful romance novel with substance. I enjoyed Capes' debut novel Careless, but my criticism was that it read more like a YA novel (likely because the protagonist was a teenage girl). Love Me, Love Me Not showcases Capes' talent for writing real and relatable characters in a more polished form and I very much enjoyed it. LMLMN perfectly blends a quite light and sweet "will they, won't they" romance with more substantial storylines about family relationships and self-identity which made it a quick and easy read without feeling vacuous. I was very taken with Lucy as a protagonist and it was refreshing to read a modern-day female-centred novel that doesn't focus on the "messy millennial woman" trope. The writing of Lucy and the difference between the personality she tried to project and who she really was felt realistic and relatable. She is no doubt flawed, but not to the extreme that makes her dislikeable or irresponsible in the same way many modern female characters have been written recently. Bonus points for the addition of the rescue dog plot line too!

I'd really recommend LMLMN if you are looking for some heart-warming and sweet romance with a bit of grit.

[MMB Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Kirsty Capes seems to have a real talent of capturing modern life and I love how authentic her characters are. I really liked how she highlighted the illusion of social media perfection and Lucy’s desire to be seen as thriving.

Lucy was a fantastic character – flawed, infuriating at times but ultimately really relatable. She was socially awkward, prickly and defensive as she tried to mask her vulnerability and insecurity. I enjoyed being on that journey of self-discovery with Lucy as she realised she didn’t have to constantly pretend to be somebody she wasn’t.

I felt fully immersed in the story and Lucy’s world. Her friends and family felt authentic and real, as did her struggles to communicate with them. Lucy is someone who craves organisation and so when her life becomes increasingly chaotic I could completely emphasise with her panic and anxiety.

There were some sensitive topics covered, such as mental health, abuse and alcoholism and I felt they were handled well.

I enjoyed the tentative steps Lucy took when opening up to flatmate Cam and how patient he was with her. The reader grows to love Lucy alongside her flatmates and friends as she began to reveal more of her true self

[Donna Costello · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lucy has tried to be perfect; she has spent years cultivating how she appears to the world around her. However, when she discovers she is adopted the façade she has been working so hard to keep in place slowly starts to fracture.

I had to DNF this book around 15% through. I felt Lucy was a very passive character with a bland voice, I found her unlikable and dull. Throughout what I read of the book; the information was simply told to the reader. I kept waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever seemed to.

From the beginning we learn she is adopted and there are a lot of changes in Lucy’s life, but they don’t seem to really affect her on any emotional level which I found hampered my investment in her character. Also, there was no real reason to keep reading because there was nothing I had to find out, there was no driving force or burning questions.

Although this book didn’t appeal to me, it may to others.

Thank you to NetGallery and the publisher for the advanced copy of this book in return for an honest review.

[Bernie Magann · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story starts with Lucy, a 26yo discovering she is adopted. It then takes you on a journey of the chaotic life of Lucy Banbury.

There are a few hard hitting issues raised in this story such as panic attacks, OCD, abandonment, abuse and adoption. Kirsty writes these though so beautifully that it allows for them to be exposed without being too confrontational.

Overall this book was good! It took me a few chapters to get into it but once I got about a third of the way I was hooked! It was however disappointing that it wasn’t as much about her adoption as it was about her as a person. When reading the blurb I thought it would be all about her adoption and figuring that out. I did however, LOVE the romance side of it though, maybe because I’m a cheesy person myself. I also felt like I could relate a lot to the character which helped. I also loved how the ending was perfect for the story and wasn’t exactly what I thought would happen. It was an easy read and had some really creative elements.

[Jacki (Julia Flyte) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kirsty Capes wrote Careless which was a book that I didn't like initially but adored by the end. I had a similar reaction to Love Me, Love Me Not. For starters, it's written in an omnipresent first tense which I found quite off-putting: Lucy wants to change this dynamic but doesn't know quite how to. Secondly, the plot is largely predictable (although there's one significant reveal I didn't anticipate). But despite both of these things, the characters and the relationships between them won me over and I really enjoyed this.

The book is about Lucy, who's in her 20s and living in London. Throughout her childhood she was bullied by her older brother and she has recently found out that she was adopted which has derailed her. She is a mass of insecurities which she papers over by presenting a competent front to the world but increasingly she's finding it difficult to hold things together underneath.

It's not original territory but it's done very well. You hope that Lucy will manage to overcome her insecurities and I loved the relationships that she has with others particularly her flatmates. I liked the casual inclusion of a gender neutral character. I'm not sure I'll remember much about this book in a few months, but I liked it a lot.

[Ella Scott]

Advanced PR copy granted by Orion Publishing Group.

Love Me, Love Me Not by Kirsty Capes is a story that requires patience and perseverance. The book begins by dropping you into Lucy's life post-adoption revelation bombshell, and you spend the rest of the time building up the full picture by flitting between the past and present. You don't particularly like Lucy at first - she's complicated and flawed - but, like her housemates and her friends, you grow to love her as she opens up. There are some heartbreaking elements of this story that are dealt with maturely and the main romance element is a delightful, simmering slow-burn. This story really captures attention at about the halfway point. I would recommend practising persistence until then. Trust me, you will be rewarded.

[Clair's Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️ 4.25/5
📚 77
📍 🇬🇧
🗂️ Contemporary Fiction
📖 26 year old London based Lucy, is organised and loves working in marketing. But is this really her life now? Friends, family, relationships - do you ever really know what anyone is going through?
❤️ Loved Lucy as a character
❤️ Loved that Cardiff Uni was featured
❤️ Loved the humour
❤️ Felt real
🏳️‍🌈 Loved the inclusivity and use of pronouns
✍️ No speech marks, like Careless
🔀 If you enjoyed my (extra) ordinary life, I think you’d enjoy this
💬 “Lucy knows that she’s cool too, but in a way that is very high maintenance”
💬 “A cactus is the best kind of person”
📆 30th June 2023

[Paul Gormley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartwarming tale of Lucy who discovers she is adopted in her mid-20s. Lucy has always suffered from low self-esteem but has carved out a life for herself in London. Despite her relative success, Lucy continues to doubt herself. The news of her adoption threatens to send her life into a downward spiral.

An engaging central character drives the narrative. There are no real surprises - even the big reveal late on in the book has been heavily signposted- but the tone and pacing are spot on.

A great follow up to this author’s outstanding debut Careless.

[Rachel Masters · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first time reading a book by this author, chosen based on a recommendation from Goodreads' Top Picks for Me. I suspect it was suggested because it features a female protagonist with a history of trauma that influences her future relationships - a theme in books I've recently enjoyed and rated highly - Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman and I'm Sorru You Feel That Way by Rebecca Wait. While I found it an engaging read that kept me turning the pages, it didn't quite resonate enough with me to strongly recommend it to others.

[Eleanor Karp-Tatham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wanted to like this a lot more than I did. Feel like the blurb didn't really line up with the book how I expected? I found it to be a bit repetitive in parts and dragged in places with a lot of pace shoved into the last few chapters. I do think the characters have quite a bit of depth and well formulated and it's definitely emotional and heartbreaking in places but the overall storyline was lacking.