The Love You Save: A Memoir of Overcoming Trauma and Finding Salvation in Books

by Goldie Taylor

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings meets Educated in this harrowing, deeply hopeful memoir of family, faith and the power of books—from acclaimed journalist and human rights activist Goldie Taylor 
 
Aunt Gerald takes in anyone who asks, but the conditions are harsh. For her young niece Goldie Taylor, abandoned by her mother and coping with trauma of her own, life in Gerald’s East St. Louis comes with nothing but a threadbare blanket on the living room floor. 
 
But amid the pain and anguish, Goldie discovers a secret. She can find kinship among writers like James Baldwin and Toni Morrison. She can find hope in a nurturing teacher who helps her find her voice. And books, she realizes, can save her life.  

Goldie Taylor's debut memoir shines a light on the strictures of race, class and gender in a post–Jim Crow America while offering a nuanced, empathetic portrait of a family in a pitched battle for its very soul.

Profoundly moving, exquisitely rendered and ultimately uplifting, The Love You Save is a story about hidden strength, perseverance against unimaginable odds, the beauty and pain of girlhood, and the power of the written word. 
 

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir, Race, Autobiography

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 31, 2023

Reviews

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking and gut wrenching. Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do.

Goldie Taylor, human rights activist, had a horrendous childhood. Her memoir, The Love You Save: A Memoir, shares her journey from birth to ninth grade. Her brother was killed when he was 14 years old and then her father was murdered on Memorial Day. Her mother was in and out of her life and was not very loving. Her mother deposited her with an aunt. Occasionally she saw her grandmother and begged to live with her grandmother who showed her compassion. Taylor was raped at a young age by a neighborhood boy. Later she was repeatedly raped by a relative.

Bahni Turpin narrates Taylor's memoir exquisitely. Taylor's writing style is fabulous, the scene imagery is memorable, and the dialogue is very real and memorable. Writing passages that were memorable to me include:

*Everything went from sugar to shit

* She was the type of woman who smoked while on the toilet (describes a relative)

* What needed fixin' was my wagon to pull

* When she wasn't as high as the Gateway Arch

* Money doesn't make a man

* She was buck naked from the rootie to the tootie (I am still trying to determine if rootie means the roots of her hair)

Taylor's life started to improve thanks to teachers who saw her potential and challenged her. James Baldwin, Ida B. Wells, and Charles Finn were introduced to her through books and she began competing in speech contests.

What I desperately wish I had learned from her memoir is how she went from ninth grade to the incredible career she has had....active duty US Marine discharged honorably for medical reasons; served on several political campaigns from both sides of the aisle; fundraising for Barak Obama during the 2008 campaign; 4 years as a political contributor to MSNBC; writer; executive consultant for CNN's Black America. Wow! Super impressed with her grit, determination, courage, and perseverance.

[🩶 April • A.M. Flynn • 🩶 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir was heartbreaking at times, but also light enough to throw jokes in there. 4.5/5 STARS.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is powerful and tells the story of the author growing up Black in a tough East St. Louis neighborhood in the 1970s. Goldie's father was murdered, and her brother beaten and robbed; her grieving mother moved Goldie and her siblings from their home in a predominantly Black East St. Louis community to a primarily white St. Ann. After a neighborhood boy raped her, Goldie was sent to live with her aunt and uncle back in St. Louis where she started taking and excelling in gifted classes. The author shows us how education can be a lifeline.

Surviving is an understatement. The author came from the most awful situations. There was one passage that may be triggering regarding sexual abuse, but it was heartbreaking: "By the summer of '81, the warring in my head was near constant. I had sharp memories about the day I was raped, and at times, I awoke screaming in the dark. I was afraid to go outside, went days without bathing, and rarely ate. My tangled, unwashed hair fell out in clumps. I don't remember crying or even talking much. I mostly kept it to myself. It was safer that way, I thought. I was scared that somebody might touch me."Her story and writing are heartbreaking, but her ability to thrive in the face of adversity is inspiring.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Michelle Herzing · Rating 4 out of 5]

"In our family, and I suppose in others, love came with a taste of war."

Goldie Taylor's childhood in East St. Louis was difficult, to say the least. That she overcame tough odds is an understatement. Her memoir details her early teen years, and how she struggled and fought to survive and thrive, using academic success as her lifeline. My heart broke for the girl who longed for her mother and used books as an escape. I wish the memoir had covered more of Goldie's life. The brief few years she writes about were obviously instrumental in her future success, but I would have loved to read about high school, college, and career. It felt like a pretty abrupt end to the story, hurriedly wrapping it up.

Thank you Netgalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the digital copy of The Love You Save by Goldie Taylor. The opinions in this review are my own.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perseverance

Goldie Taylor took me one hell of an emotional rollercoaster in this memoir. To be young, gifted, black, female, and unprotected is hard. I enjoy reading a book that makes me FEEL and not just read. I felt her fear. I felt her anguish. I felt her longing to be seen, loved, and protected by those around her. So many people in her life let her down, and took no accountability. How is a young woman who is abused and treated badly always expected to respect her elders, stay out of trouble, and be seen and not heard? If not for her love of reading and gaining knowledge there's no telling where Goldie would have ended up, and I am so glad we don't have to find out because she persevered through it all. I hope that at some point she received professional help to deal with the demons of her childhood. I am proud of accomplished woman she became.

[Business Idlestuff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a fantastic read!!

[Andre(Read-A-Lot) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adults. Parents. We must do better for children, our children. Goldie’s formative years were filled with so much trauma, chaos and abuse. All of it so unnecessary, all this child needed was some real love and concern, instead Goldie feels a tale that will have your head spinning. My heart goes out to Goldie Taylor, she is the very definition of perseverance. Her story is reminiscent of Maya Angelou’s account in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and as such the details are harrowing and Goldie Taylor doesn’t pull any punches. She writes in novelistic fashion, which helps to make her story more digestible, because honestly at times, it seems like some of the situations Goldie Taylor survives, could only be fiction. It is beyond sad, that-fiction-isn’t the case. This is well executed memoir writing and deserves a five star rating.

[Ellen Berlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an Advance Reader Copy of this fascinating book. It’s an intensely honest, deep and authentic memoir of a childhood ridden with trauma. The author describes her chaotic upbringing —one that is at times shocking and disturbing—in a stark and authentic retelling, with touches of humor. How she survived with with whom she found salvation. Is the the gift of this terrific read.

It’s a thought-provoking book, the kind of book that stays with you and that you think about long after you’ve finished reading it.

Highly recommend.

[Angela]

Trigger Warning: Child Abuse, Sexual Assault
A memoir of a childhood filled with abandonement, poverty, violence and abuse, this was a tough, tough read. I had to skip a few sections and each time I picked the book back up, I was hopeful that Goldie would find safety somewhere. It is not my job to critique the author's life story but her ability forgive amazes me. I don't know how she was able to maintain a connection and express love towards those that hurt her when she was a child.
As a reader, I so appreciated the beautiful writing and I loved the following along as Goldie fell in love with Books.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worthwhile read for anyone that can pick up a book. Words cannot express how important this book is.

[Ann-Marie Messbauer · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The Love You Save" is well-written, but this account of Goldie Taylor's childhood up to about age sixteen documents so much violence, pain, abuse, and neglect that one of the reasons I actually kept reading was to get to the page when finally things would start to turn around for her. The book jacket attests that she becomes a thriving, successful writer and journalist, but any improvement in her situation, in her well-being, happens excruciatingly slowly, and it is only near the end of the book that I felt this child might be okay. Some might find it inspiring that she was able to overcome so much to achieve some of her dreams, but I found it depressing that any child should have to suffer the way she did. I won't get into the state of human nature, society or the world that engenders and fosters this suffering, but, come on, people!

[Jo Ann Rhodehouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, engaging and absolutely heartbreaking what she endured as a child. She definitely persevered and rose far above what was expected even by her own family.

[Nursebookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Love you Save
Goldie Taylor

I love reading about life's journey with all the trials and tribulations. I find it compelling to learn about how one person's life can affect others and provide inspiration - stories that beat the odds, and stories that move me.

Goldie Taylor - a journalist and human rights activist, shares her intimate story of her start as an abandoned child who found comfort in reading books, and a teacher that may have saved her life.

I found the writing engaging and the story moving and profound. Despite the story of struggle, hardship, and abuse, the story was also about hope, survival, and resilience.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was surprised by how quickly I was drawn into Goldie Taylor’s memoir. Her beautiful writing drew me into the ‘70s, and eventually the ‘80s, and her story begged me to keep turning the pages. So the pages turned.

The challenges she faced growing up in the ‘70s and ‘80s were hard to comprehend, especially as I continually reminded myself of her young age. She was raped at 11 years old but forced by her mother to ignore it and not encouraged to share her feelings. This ended in her bottling it all up inside and later considering suicide.

At an extremely early age, she was tossed back and forth between her mother and aunt. Unfortunately, both were only able to offer her shelter. For the most part, no love or nurturing attitudes that a growing child needs were extended.

This is such a heartbreaking, yet well-written story of being poor and Black. Of being abused, neglected, and ignored. Taylor offers an underlying, beautiful story of rising above adversity.

My Concerns
For those who watch for trigger warnings, read the synopsis and make sure this book will be okay for you

Final Thoughts
This is a well-told, inspirational story, of rising above the life she was born into. It reminded me of The Glass Castle, A Child Called It, and Educated. Books that won’t be forgotten.

My thanks to TLC Book Tours, the publisher, and the author for a complimentary copy. I was under no obligation to post a positive review.

[Donna Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 1974, eight-year-old Goldie moved to St Ann, Missouri, with her mother, aunt and grandmother. They left East St Louis after her 14-year-old brother was beaten, and her daddy was shot to death.

They moved to a white neighborhood, where Goldie was raped at age 11 and attempted suicide soon after. She is often shuffled among various family members. Forced to grow up without a caring parent, Goldie is often abused in the family homes where she is dumped.

In this memoir, Goldie chronicles not only her own treacherous upbringing, but also delves into the destruction of the many Black neighborhoods where she has lived. Children in Black families are often moved between family members. No wonder Goldie didn’t want the life she lived but felt she was unworthy of anything better. Because she was a voracious reader and could write, Goldie was pushed in middle school. Even though the school was sub-standard, she had a few remarkable teachers who pressed her to do more. “The only limit you have is the one in your head.”

James Baldwin, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Maya Angelou help push her.

Goldie Taylor has very impressive credentials. She came from misery and became a super star.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm always amazed by these hard hitting memoirs and how much they seem to suck me into their life stories. This book by Goldie Taylor is no different. This one broke my heart for the young innocent girl she was only to have that innocence taken away from her at such a young age and then again to have to live through that horror again and again in her own home years later. She was such a sweet, intelligent,amazing girl.

She could have made all the dark things that happened to her turn her into a person in need of an escape and turn to any type of substance to abuse to help her forget the pain and helplessness she had to feel but instead she rose above all the ugliness that others did to her. She loved books particularly books written by black authors. She wrote pieces and performed them and got written up in the newspapers as well as been featured on TV. She could have let all the bad turn her into an introvert but she be same this bright beautiful light for so many.

This is one of those memoirs that will touch your heart and maybe bring you to tears like it did me 😀 ❤
I can't recommend this book enough. You won't be disappointed if you pick it up.

[Pernilla Lindholm · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Love You Save av Goldie Taylor. Jag uppskattar att läsa memoarer av flera olika anledningar. Dels adderar det såklart ett extra lager till berättelsen när man vet att den skett på riktigt, men också för att man ofta lär sig mer i dem. Goldie Taylor har skrivit en bok som får mig att återigen tänka på utbildningens kraft, precis som i Tara Westovers Educated (Sw. Allt jag fått lära mig). Goldies bror och pappa mördas när hon är liten och hon överges av sin mamma. Goldie utsätts också för ett par våldtäkter, men hittar styrka i sin utbildning och av författare som Toni Morrisson och James Baldwin. Goldies berättelse visar också vad viktigt det är att ha några människor runtomkring dig som verkligen tror på dig.
Betyg: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goldie Taylor's coming-of-age compelling memoir The Love You Save shares Goldie's story growing up in a tough East St. Louis neighborhood in the 1970s. After Goldie's father was murdered and her brother beaten and robbed, her grieving mother took Goldie and her two older siblings from their home near family in a mostly Black East St. Louis community to a mostly white St. Ann.

Her mom worked long hours at a hotel, and Goldie and her siblings were left alone for long periods of time. When she was eleven years old, Goldie was raped by a neighborhood boy and found little comfort from her mother.

She was sent to live with her Auntie Gerald and Uncle Ross back in East St. Louis. Gerald and Ross' home was filled with all kinds of relatives, many of them younger. The younger children had to scrounge for space to sleep on the floor and food to eat before it was all gone.

Auntie Gerald was a deeply religious woman who kept a clean household, but she had a temper that she frequently took out on Goldie. Ross was kind to all the children, he gave them the love many of them didn't get from their own parents. They did their best to keep everyone on a good path in trying circumstances.

Goldie's saving grace became the gifted classes she was put into at her middle school. The school was falling apart and at times violent, but a few of her teachers took Goldie under their wing and believed that she had a special talent, especially in the area of speech, for which she won many awards.

While the rest of her life was chaotic and sometimes dangerous, Goldie shined in her classes. She taught herself math from her older sister's books, and her refuge was the many books she borrowed (and appropriated) from the library, Jane Austen a favorite.

Eventually Goldie became entranced by James Baldwin. His writings spoke deeply to her, and she hungered to learn about him and others like Toni Morrison and Martin Luther King Jr.

Taylor's writing is striking and she pulls the reader in from page one with her vivid portraits of Auntie Gerald and Uncle Ross. She makes the city of East St. Louis come alive on the page, and shares its history of how Blacks moved there from the deep South for work in factories and the white flight that followed that. The scourge of crack cocaine in the 1980s left many families and neighborhoods broken.

Goldie Taylor shows us the resiliency of the human spirit, and how education can be a lifeline for those who reach for it. Readers of such books as Sarah M. Broom's The Yellow House, Jesmyn Ward's Men We Reaped and Tara Westover's Educated should put The Love You Save at the top of the TBR list. I read it in one sitting and found it incredibly moving. It makes a great book for Black History Month.

Thanks to TLC Tours for putting me on Goldie Taylor's tour.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goldie Taylor is a survivor. She is brutally honest about her upbringing, which involved severe abuse, neglect and trauma, which at times was heartbreaking to read, yet she survived all of it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about her academic achievements, as well as her feisty spirit. To accomplish what she did in school while living with severe abuse at home, speaks volumes about her character. And her feisty spirit? She doesn’t hold back in sharing with her readers her encounters with others when she felt the need to step up, or defend herself. She is a unique individual. (She also loves James Baldwin, one of both my husband’s and my favorite authors.)

[Prettywitty77 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Memoir!

Goldie went through so much as a child in her mother’s care. The blows just kept coming and coming past the point when her mom dropped her off to live with her auntie. Mental abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse.. you name it! A CHILD!

Goldie overcame all of that. I’m so proud of her.

[Cindy Freeman · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

My heart broke over and over while reading this. And every time she rose up, my heart soared for her. She is amazing.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super intense story (~trigger warnings~) but a moving memoir

[Beth]

DNF. Read about 35 pages. I wasn't engaged.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a wonderful feeling when you pick up books from the library and can't remember why you wanted them, take them home, read one, and find a gem you didn't know you wanted to read. Such was my experience with Goldie Taylor's THE LOVE YOU SAVE.

The best way I can discuss Ms. Taylor's early years would be to say that she grew up in the school of hard knocks. She had a chaotic and violent childhood, lost her father to murder, and her mother to romance.

Goldie had no interest in cleanliness or school yet taught herself to read when quite young. Fights and dangerous situations were the rule in her life. When she was raped by a boy in the neighborhood, her mother behaved as though this was to be forgotten all while never soothing her daughter. In fact, her mother only exhibited anger at her.

When her mother's new man did not want children around, Goldie was sent to live with an aunt and uncle who took uncertain care of a number of children, not always their own. There, she experienced even more violence and rape done to her by this unusual family.

What saved Goldie was her thirst for knowledge, which finally led to awards and good grades, though not fewer fights.

In East St. Louis, her schools were generally aging and decrepit, and suffered the neglect many big city schools filled with a majority Black children of poverty suffer. A determined teacher saw through Goldie's shields and found her way into Goldie's need for learning.

Despite the brutality of her life, the reader sees the blossoming of a wonderful adult who knows the sky is the limit.

I recommend this highly.

[Susan Emmet · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I found the writing repetitive and wondered when Goldie's life would turn for the better, I am glad to have read her memoir.
Such a horrific story it is, full of abandonment by those who should love her best, as well as two rapes and constant physical violence. The memoir covers her childhood until age 16.
What worked to save her from a life of poverty and abandonment and violence was education and teachers who saw her potential and helped her find ways to grow. All the while she was full of rage, self-harm, violence and anger.
But books - by Austen, Baldwin and many others - kept her on track often enough to allow her to grow and show her brilliance. Speech competitions, essay and poetry contests, travel for competition and the push of people who saw her potential overall kept her from succumbing to the life of a poor, black woman.
I guess I just wish the book were better written, more tightly written, to focus readers on the horror and the salvation.

[Candice Hale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goldie Taylor's memoir is so relatable and raw. I enjoyed learning about what it means to be in a family and to be loved. While we all may deal with family dysfunction, there are times when it really can be traumatic and life-threatening. To those that make it out of trauma, poverty, and helplessness, I am in awe of you. Taylor made me feel like I was right there alongside her as she fought to be "truly" seen and loved by her family. Love will always be an action verb, but love is not supposed to hurt.

I would most definitely recommend this to anybody that feels like their life is upended, hopeless, and struggling because of your past and family relationships. Taylor shows us that there is a way to rise above it all and to know that your presence on Earth has meaning and purpose.

This memoir gets all the stars!

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this but was expecting this memoir of Goldie Taylor to take us through her life as she became a well established journalist, as an adult. This book started when she was 11 and takes us the her life until she graduated grade 9. Her mother was unable to cope with her and sent Goldie to live with her aunt in a dangerous East St. Louis neighbourhood. Goldie is abused by a neighbourhood boy and later on her own cousin. Her aunt and uncle become like her own parents, her father was murdered when she was 5. Her mother has several boyfriends and all are very violent relationships.
Goldie discovers at about age 12 that she loves research and write papers for school, she wins contests and also loves to sing too. Once she discovers this things start to turn around for Goldie, she meets a boy who is very supportive of her and they become great friends, something Goldie doesn’t have very many of in her life. As her aunt and uncle, their health deteriorates, her own life settles down and the constant craziness settles down. She comes into her own and takes back her power that she has lost through the term oil of her young life. As an adult she has a very successful career as a journalist.

Thank you Harper Collins Canada for this advance copy. As soon as I saw this was one of the books we could pick from i immediately clicked on it. A very inspiring read and reminded me of The Glass Castle and Educated, 2 other true stories where the author had to overcome gut wrenching odds to become the successful adults they were meant to be.

Available January 31, 2023 at bookstores

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

With amazing strength and elegant, truthful, and heartfelt execution, Goldie Taylor recounts her tumultuous childhood through to her high school years. As a young black woman growing up in Missouri in the 1970’s and 1980’s, Goldie lives through neighborhood changes, racial changes and desegregation of schools. Goldie’s personal life is full of many ups and downs. Beginning with her father’s death, then being raped at a young age and dropped at her Aunt’s house, Goldie begins to self-destruct. However, a teacher at her new school recognizes Goldie’s potential and intense emotion. Goldie begins to excel academically and finds an outlet for the pain she has carried with her for so long.

Written with amazing authenticity, Goldie reflects on her childhood. The long-lasting effects of generational trauma and racism were palpable. Even as Goldie is abused and begins to inflict pain upon herself, I could see the sparks of hope in what Goldie found joy in. It was very interesting to see Goldie’s thoughts on her family members and their dynamics, especially the Aunt and Uncle who raised her. I was amazed at Goldie’s power to forgive and see that the adults were just as troubled as the children. Goldie also gave a unique perspective on her community and the differences she saw in her community and predominantly white communities. Though Goldie’s life was difficult, she is a survivor and found her strengths to persevere through extreme circumstances. The Love You Save is an eye-opening memoir of childhood, race and hope.

This book was received for free in return for an honest review.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this book a 5 star because Goldie Taylor deserves a 5 star for the courageous way she shared her story, for all the world to know. I feel so ignorant to what others go through. I was born in the 70s and had no idea about some of the major events (riots and others) in the 80s, and no idea what black people were experiencing. It wasn't until I became a teacher, and got to know my students.... that I craved the understanding to teach them and support them better. This book, while sickening at times reading what Goldie went through (rape by family members and a random guy), having her bike stolen, her mother in and out of her life, being moved around, all of it, and yet she became who she is. I only wish the book covered more from after she graduated high school. This sparked my interested, and I read as much as I could find about her (although the Wikipedia page doesn't have enough information, I think). This woman has definitely made a difference.
As a teacher, I wish I had more Goldie Taylor's in my classrooms, teenagers sneaking out but to the library to learn more. Teenagers who wanted to study and memorize their cultures and other cultuers, the literature and poetry to perform, who had such a desire and passion for knowledge that nothing could hold them back. And for all the crap that Goldie went through, the fact that she found solace in knowledge, in Jane Austen, in James Baldwin, in so many good authors and historians and used that knowledge to make herself known and get respect from her family members and classmates - just wow!
The end of the book, with her quoting what love is, and sharing Baldwin's thoughts, really left me thinking.