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Kindle Edition
First published August 15, 2019
"...there is not a jewel I might command that I have not worn. Anything and everything that is mine by right of my position, I take. When I dress each morning a third of my own bodyweight is added to my frame in the form of heavily embroidered robes, cloud-climbing shoes so high no other concubine can wear them, the crowns and jewels that adorn me. The weight is a comfort to me, it is like a burden I must bear each day, but one which can be supported physically rather than in my heart and mind. I wonder whether perhaps I have found a way to continue this life, balancing the emptiness within with the weight of clothes and jewels and rituals on the outside. Perhaps this is the best I can hope for, to keep this balance, to feel as little as possible, to act as a hollow adorned shell of a woman."