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Trouble: A memoir
************'Spit-your-tea-out funny.' -Fern Brady'Raw, brutal and life-affirming' -Sara Pascoe'Addictive, exhilarating and raw' -Daisy Buchanan, author of Insatiable 'Graphic, explicit, visceral' -Irish Times'Blistering' -Sunday Business Post'Transcendent' -Irish IndependentMarise was nine when she first realised there was trouble, 14 when her Dad tried to end it all, and 23 when he finally succeeded.In a turmoil of conflicting emotions she runs, leaving behind Dublin and her Catholic girlhood and fleeing to New York, where she gets into a messy relationship with an older comedian who she idolises and who tells her she's special - until she's not. With a trail of sex, self-destruction and a near miss with Scientology in her back pocket, eventually she finds herself in a California psych ward, a young woman imploding.As she retells her unravelling from child to adult, Marise strips back her identity and her relationship with her father, layer by layer, until she finally starts to understand how to live with him, years after he has gone.Written beautifully, with a caustic sense of humour and brutal honesty, Trouble is one of the most powerful coming-of-age memoirs in recent years.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 7, 2022
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311 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
April 21, 2022
If you read a lot of memoirs and biographies, then you will know the difference between a memoir written with boundaries and one without. Boundaries can mean holding back for friends, family or even yourself, and there can even be a certain level of dissociation. Then there are memoirs like this one that are so open, brusque and frank, that the reader can feel all ranges of the emotions acutely.
The author reveals her journey from childhood to young adult, and the impact her relationship with her father and his subsequent suicide has on her. Coming to terms with her anger, disappointment and lack of control over the his actions, takes its toll on her and the relationships she cultivates. It’s sometimes a hard journey to comprehend that your parent may have trauma, mental health issues that lead to destructive coping mechanisms.
I had to remind myself that there is such a thing as cultural divide when it comes to the interactions between parent and child in this book – Irish banter is very much a thing unto itself. It makes snark look like high-profile sniping. In the context of this family it is also what the family feels comfortable with, where perhaps others wouldn’t.
The author has no filter, which means it can often be crude, explicit and viscerally challenging. In the same breathe it is also extremely honest, which could mean the difference between someone taking something away from this or nothing at all. I thought it was exceptional – a deep dive that will hopefully lead to some peace and healing.
The author reveals her journey from childhood to young adult, and the impact her relationship with her father and his subsequent suicide has on her. Coming to terms with her anger, disappointment and lack of control over the his actions, takes its toll on her and the relationships she cultivates. It’s sometimes a hard journey to comprehend that your parent may have trauma, mental health issues that lead to destructive coping mechanisms.
I had to remind myself that there is such a thing as cultural divide when it comes to the interactions between parent and child in this book – Irish banter is very much a thing unto itself. It makes snark look like high-profile sniping. In the context of this family it is also what the family feels comfortable with, where perhaps others wouldn’t.
The author has no filter, which means it can often be crude, explicit and viscerally challenging. In the same breathe it is also extremely honest, which could mean the difference between someone taking something away from this or nothing at all. I thought it was exceptional – a deep dive that will hopefully lead to some peace and healing.
June 18, 2022
thank you to my sandemans dublin walking tour guide, ol’ johnny, for recommending this memoir because i LOVED IT. so biting, real, hilarious, honest, and vulnerable. i laughed and cried.
i’ve struggled with some of the same things marise has too so at times, it was like peering through the looking glass, and it was so fucking relatable. i ate it up!!!!
TW: sex, drugs/alcohol abuse, suicide, trauma, self-harm
i’ve struggled with some of the same things marise has too so at times, it was like peering through the looking glass, and it was so fucking relatable. i ate it up!!!!
TW: sex, drugs/alcohol abuse, suicide, trauma, self-harm
April 24, 2022
This memoir covers lots of difficult topics: alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, suicide, sexuality and self-discovery. Marise had a troubled childhood and has a struggle to not follow in her father's footsteps. It is both sad and funny. I found it difficult to put down.
May 5, 2022
“𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝑃𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑡.” 𝐾𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑉𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑡
“𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙪𝙩.”
Trouble is an unflinching account of trauma, mental health, destructive coping mechanisms/self destructive patterns, self discovery and acceptance on the route to healing oneself. Trouble is a poignant personal account of the authors complex and troublesome relationship with her father's suicide. This memoir is at times shocking, unwavering and brutally honest. I can tell the Author poured her heart and soul into telling her story. These stories as they often are can be difficult to read but the issues represented in Trouble are so imperative to the growth and exposure of something that is still stigmatised and seen as somewhat taboo subject with preconceived stereotypes. I applaud Trouble for it rawness, openness, transparency and veracity. Mental health is just as important as physical health and should be normalised and spoken about freely.
“𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙪𝙩.”
Trouble is an unflinching account of trauma, mental health, destructive coping mechanisms/self destructive patterns, self discovery and acceptance on the route to healing oneself. Trouble is a poignant personal account of the authors complex and troublesome relationship with her father's suicide. This memoir is at times shocking, unwavering and brutally honest. I can tell the Author poured her heart and soul into telling her story. These stories as they often are can be difficult to read but the issues represented in Trouble are so imperative to the growth and exposure of something that is still stigmatised and seen as somewhat taboo subject with preconceived stereotypes. I applaud Trouble for it rawness, openness, transparency and veracity. Mental health is just as important as physical health and should be normalised and spoken about freely.
December 6, 2024
My favourite book that I’ve read this year!
Truely a boundary-less memoir. I laughed out loud. I cried privately and in a nail salon and coffee shop. In my opinion, it is a perfect description of mental illness that feels cyclical. While I didn’t necessarily find any of it to be particularly insightful, I connected with its messaging deeply and felt both understood and inspired.
Would recommend this book to anyone. However, I do think if you’re in the depths of depression or suicidal tendencies, maybe give this book a miss and reconsider it at a later date. There are definitely aspects of this book that I found to be a hard read.
Truely a boundary-less memoir. I laughed out loud. I cried privately and in a nail salon and coffee shop. In my opinion, it is a perfect description of mental illness that feels cyclical. While I didn’t necessarily find any of it to be particularly insightful, I connected with its messaging deeply and felt both understood and inspired.
Would recommend this book to anyone. However, I do think if you’re in the depths of depression or suicidal tendencies, maybe give this book a miss and reconsider it at a later date. There are definitely aspects of this book that I found to be a hard read.
April 30, 2022
Immensely readable. Deeply sad. Hopeful. Beautiful.
October 4, 2022
I read this to find some perspective after my own fathers recent suicide and it was everything I needed and more. Marise is a great writer
May 1, 2022
Trouble by Marise Gaughan is an incredibly powerful and moving read. Both hard to read and yet life-affirming, it is her account of how her fathers alcoholism, depression and his suicide shaped her childhood and adult life. Her increasingly destructive decent in depression and dependence on drinking and drugs, stemmed from the trauma of living as a child with an alcoholic father whose chaotic and self absorbed actions, left her carrying crushing guilt and anger.
What I found so astonishingly compelling about Marise Gaughan‘s writing was her candour. She lays bare for us her life at it’s most shocking and we come to understand how her behaviour was shaped by her father actions, having to carry acute trauma around with her as a constant companion. So often when writing about mental health in memoirs, it can come across feeling sterile and lacking the crushing reality it has on those who live with and those that suffer from it day in and day out. In Trouble she gives us a brutally honest depiction of how she came so close to repeating history, of allowing his death to claim and destroy her life as well. She doesn’t hold back and the raw, painful narrative, details events that show how she seeks approval and affirmation from men, through sex and money.
It is though also about the power of humanity to find the strength to live and thrive. In Trouble Marise Gaughan shows us how she found within herself the ability recognise and accept that although she carries her father legacy in her very genes, as a unit of heredity inheritance, she is more than her father’s daughter, she is a gifted and beautiful women for whom life holds endless possibilities. It is not an easy journey for her or the reader, but it is a tremendously rewarding one, as she take the steps towards a life, she so richly deserves. In coming to terms with the fact depression will always be with her, but won’t always define her, she can live.
She is a remarkable women and Trouble an incredible read.
What I found so astonishingly compelling about Marise Gaughan‘s writing was her candour. She lays bare for us her life at it’s most shocking and we come to understand how her behaviour was shaped by her father actions, having to carry acute trauma around with her as a constant companion. So often when writing about mental health in memoirs, it can come across feeling sterile and lacking the crushing reality it has on those who live with and those that suffer from it day in and day out. In Trouble she gives us a brutally honest depiction of how she came so close to repeating history, of allowing his death to claim and destroy her life as well. She doesn’t hold back and the raw, painful narrative, details events that show how she seeks approval and affirmation from men, through sex and money.
It is though also about the power of humanity to find the strength to live and thrive. In Trouble Marise Gaughan shows us how she found within herself the ability recognise and accept that although she carries her father legacy in her very genes, as a unit of heredity inheritance, she is more than her father’s daughter, she is a gifted and beautiful women for whom life holds endless possibilities. It is not an easy journey for her or the reader, but it is a tremendously rewarding one, as she take the steps towards a life, she so richly deserves. In coming to terms with the fact depression will always be with her, but won’t always define her, she can live.
She is a remarkable women and Trouble an incredible read.
May 1, 2022
I had seen this reviewed in the Irish Times, and it seemed interesting enough to warrant a much closer look.
This is an unflinching account of a life lived in circumstances that many would find discomforting, and Marise Gaughan is so open about the sometime squalid details of her misadventures, that I'm left wondering what (in the fashion of all autobiographers) has she left out? For comparison I'd describe "Trouble" as being a bit like Augusten Borroughs' "Running with Scissors", except that in this instance I believe the writing is better, the story has more edge, and the morality is more ambiguous.
This author is an (intimidatingly) intelligent writer, very self aware, and capable of making observations that reveal an emotional depth and a wisdom sufficient to leave me conflicted at the end: I'd love to spend an hour chatting to Marise Gaughan over tea/coffee/soy chai latte/wine/etc, but I'm concerned that if I did then she'd see me for the feckless eejit that I am. This is however only an academic problem, we fly in different circles, in different countries, and we're more than a generation apart. Nevertheless if she were to deign to read this I'd like her to consider herself thanked and appreciated for an autobiography of such emotion and candour that it also gave me pause to reflect on the meaning, impact and effect of some of my own travails.
This is an unflinching account of a life lived in circumstances that many would find discomforting, and Marise Gaughan is so open about the sometime squalid details of her misadventures, that I'm left wondering what (in the fashion of all autobiographers) has she left out? For comparison I'd describe "Trouble" as being a bit like Augusten Borroughs' "Running with Scissors", except that in this instance I believe the writing is better, the story has more edge, and the morality is more ambiguous.
This author is an (intimidatingly) intelligent writer, very self aware, and capable of making observations that reveal an emotional depth and a wisdom sufficient to leave me conflicted at the end: I'd love to spend an hour chatting to Marise Gaughan over tea/coffee/soy chai latte/wine/etc, but I'm concerned that if I did then she'd see me for the feckless eejit that I am. This is however only an academic problem, we fly in different circles, in different countries, and we're more than a generation apart. Nevertheless if she were to deign to read this I'd like her to consider herself thanked and appreciated for an autobiography of such emotion and candour that it also gave me pause to reflect on the meaning, impact and effect of some of my own travails.
April 22, 2022
Wow. This book hits hard. Immediate, honest; this is an open wound that you’re compelled to look at. I read it in a single sitting, unable to put the book down.
Trouble dives right in at the deep end, mental illness and alcoholism and their consequences meeting you from the first lines. Gaughan doesn’t hide behind pretty words. The story of her family is ugly and knotty, with moments of joy and love entangled in the anger and pain. Her story of slowly coming to terms with her father’s mental health and drinking, through decades of self-loathing and destructive behaviour, sometimes jumps timeframes and perspectives — “you”, not her, the focus of uncontrollable hurt. It feels as though you’re right there, listening to Gaughan’s story.
Trouble is the story of love with conditions, and also unconditional love. It’s the story of self-love, and self-acceptance, and learning to be open with strangers. Interwoven with dark humour is the story of one ordinary person’s life (so far) and how many enormous hurdles they leapt to share it.
I absolutely recommend this book! Be prepared for a difficult and possibly triggering read in parts, but prepare as well for how it impacts your perspectives on mental health and family.
Trouble dives right in at the deep end, mental illness and alcoholism and their consequences meeting you from the first lines. Gaughan doesn’t hide behind pretty words. The story of her family is ugly and knotty, with moments of joy and love entangled in the anger and pain. Her story of slowly coming to terms with her father’s mental health and drinking, through decades of self-loathing and destructive behaviour, sometimes jumps timeframes and perspectives — “you”, not her, the focus of uncontrollable hurt. It feels as though you’re right there, listening to Gaughan’s story.
Trouble is the story of love with conditions, and also unconditional love. It’s the story of self-love, and self-acceptance, and learning to be open with strangers. Interwoven with dark humour is the story of one ordinary person’s life (so far) and how many enormous hurdles they leapt to share it.
I absolutely recommend this book! Be prepared for a difficult and possibly triggering read in parts, but prepare as well for how it impacts your perspectives on mental health and family.
April 27, 2022
I was given an advance copy of this book in return for an honest review.
This was a searingly honest and at times heartbreaking memoir. Marise Gaughan laid herself bare - the good and the not so good bits - and this had led to a story that it’s impossible to look away from, that reminds you that even truly terrible times will pass and you’ll find a way through.
Marise grew up with an alcoholic father, although she didn’t know this at first. His illness was hidden, not spoken of, accepted really. It was only as Marise started to be exposed to her friends lives that she realised hers was anything other than normal. She loved him with a ferocity that leaps off the page and when he dies it’s like she loses herself. She runs away from everything and everyone, makes some bad choices, and then some more bad choices. She wilfully tries to derail all attempts (her own and others) at recovery and progress. She is unflinchingly open about all of it, and man, does that make her brave in my eyes.
Her writing is brilliant - there is so much darkness in the topics and situations but it’s peppered with (sometimes black) humour so as not to quite overwhelm the reader. That’s not to say it isn’t a difficult read - it is, but it’s also a truly worthwhile and captivating one.
This was a searingly honest and at times heartbreaking memoir. Marise Gaughan laid herself bare - the good and the not so good bits - and this had led to a story that it’s impossible to look away from, that reminds you that even truly terrible times will pass and you’ll find a way through.
Marise grew up with an alcoholic father, although she didn’t know this at first. His illness was hidden, not spoken of, accepted really. It was only as Marise started to be exposed to her friends lives that she realised hers was anything other than normal. She loved him with a ferocity that leaps off the page and when he dies it’s like she loses herself. She runs away from everything and everyone, makes some bad choices, and then some more bad choices. She wilfully tries to derail all attempts (her own and others) at recovery and progress. She is unflinchingly open about all of it, and man, does that make her brave in my eyes.
Her writing is brilliant - there is so much darkness in the topics and situations but it’s peppered with (sometimes black) humour so as not to quite overwhelm the reader. That’s not to say it isn’t a difficult read - it is, but it’s also a truly worthwhile and captivating one.
April 2, 2022
This book was a hard one to write a review for as it had a lot of trigger warnings in but I was aware if that by the blurb, didn't make it easier to read though!
I admire Marise for what she had to endure early on, what happened to her along her life and will happen in her future. Always know that there is someone to help however bad things get.
Touching on loss and suicide attempts was hard to read about but glad there are groups for support as and when needed and there is no judgement.
I would recommend this book as there is a light at the end of the tunnel, as they say - live life to the full, be positive, enjoy your experiences and don't let others get you down!
I admire Marise for what she had to endure early on, what happened to her along her life and will happen in her future. Always know that there is someone to help however bad things get.
Touching on loss and suicide attempts was hard to read about but glad there are groups for support as and when needed and there is no judgement.
I would recommend this book as there is a light at the end of the tunnel, as they say - live life to the full, be positive, enjoy your experiences and don't let others get you down!
October 21, 2023
As with most memoirs, it sometimes feels weird to put a star rating on someone's life story. Trouble by Marise Gaughan is an audiobook I stumbled upon, and I'm glad I listened. This was really raw and vulnerable- which a lot of autobiographies claim to be. In this case though it was rather like watching blood ooze from a wound, a blistering tale of the wake of destruction after someone close to you dies by suicide.
So unflinching was Marise in her recounting of alcoholism, sex work and suicidal ideation, it was almost uncomfortable to bear witness. At the same time, it was really admirable and real. Brilliantly written and narrated, often as funny as it was heartbreaking.
So unflinching was Marise in her recounting of alcoholism, sex work and suicidal ideation, it was almost uncomfortable to bear witness. At the same time, it was really admirable and real. Brilliantly written and narrated, often as funny as it was heartbreaking.
July 17, 2024
I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she lets all the sadness fall out —225
I think about how bad things happen to normal people, and it ruins them, and they sometimes stay ruined. And the people surrounding them get to feel the shrapnel of that ruin, bystanders watching a car crash in slow motion and being unable to stop it. Seeing the time before the crash grow smaller and smaller as they move further away.—234
Someone else can Ave you in a moment…but that is just one moment. What about all the other moments after that? There are not enough people in existence to save us from every moment. You save yourself, or you die. That’s the reality. Another reality is that you can try and save yourself, and still die. There are no guarantees of happy endings for any of us. —260
I think about how bad things happen to normal people, and it ruins them, and they sometimes stay ruined. And the people surrounding them get to feel the shrapnel of that ruin, bystanders watching a car crash in slow motion and being unable to stop it. Seeing the time before the crash grow smaller and smaller as they move further away.—234
Someone else can Ave you in a moment…but that is just one moment. What about all the other moments after that? There are not enough people in existence to save us from every moment. You save yourself, or you die. That’s the reality. Another reality is that you can try and save yourself, and still die. There are no guarantees of happy endings for any of us. —260
September 17, 2025
Perhaps single handedly the most depressing thing I’ve ever read. You really FEEL Marise’s pain, reading this and it’s a hard, hard graft to be stoic enough to get through it. Things just go from bad to worse to worse again and honestly, the strength of character it must have taken her to get to that point and back again is really quite astonishing. Particularly impressive in this book is how she manages to write without the martyrdom you so often see in memoirs of this kind and yet still manages to portray herself as completely unlikeable without being self pitying about it. It really is quite breathtaking. I just… round of applause for this memoir and for her, really.
July 20, 2022
Always in search of the book that I cannot put down, I tore through the pages of this one. Marise Gaughan writes emotively about a life of depression and addiction; highlighting the stigma attached to invisible illness and mental health affliction. A roller coaster read.
March 31, 2022
I absolutely loved this book. It’s funny, nostalgic, relatable, sad, compelling and honest. Everyone should read this!
April 29, 2022
Honest and raw, at times hard to read but what a story Marie’s has. As a reader I felt a rollercoaster of emotions, this is a story that will stay with me.
April 10, 2023
Brave and honest, this is a difficult, heartbreaking read, and one that is profoundly moving.
September 29, 2023
God damn this book got me. Such an honest, raw book about mental health and grief. This book will stay with me for a long time
August 13, 2024
Honest, interesting, heartbreaking, tearjerking and funny. Everything I’d want from a memoir.
April 18, 2025
Equal parts brilliant and terrifying. Lots of gut punches in it.
May 7, 2023
Seriously one of my favorite books to have come by. Hilariously funny! Filled with crazy stories that shape her 20s and have brought her to find herself today! Definitely recommend
February 21, 2024
A very sad account of depression and more but also incredibly relatable (some of it without giving spoilers away) to a lot of people out there. Highly recommended!
April 28, 2022
Trouble is a raw, brutal and extremely honest memoir of Marise's struggle to make sense of her father's suicide.
Several times throughout the book I found myself thinking "that was so me", especially the speaking my mind before engaging my brain.
With dark humour in places and heartbreaking in others, Gaughan has written a fantastic memoir of trouble, how not to deal with it and a discovery of acceptance and self love.
Trouble does come with triggers of both suicide and self harm. And throughout the book you will find other hard hitting situations.
This is one of those books that will stay with you, and it's one that I would highly recommend you all read!
Many thanks to Random Things Tours for my tour spot.
Rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Several times throughout the book I found myself thinking "that was so me", especially the speaking my mind before engaging my brain.
With dark humour in places and heartbreaking in others, Gaughan has written a fantastic memoir of trouble, how not to deal with it and a discovery of acceptance and self love.
Trouble does come with triggers of both suicide and self harm. And throughout the book you will find other hard hitting situations.
This is one of those books that will stay with you, and it's one that I would highly recommend you all read!
Many thanks to Random Things Tours for my tour spot.
Rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
May 12, 2023
I have read many a memoir. But I've never read one that is so shockingly raw and honest.
Marise really lays herself completely bare throughout the book, and her introspection especially towards the end of the book, is something to be admired.
To have gone through what Marise has and to still be standing, let alone, using her voice to tell her story (leaving herself open to criticism and judgement) and potentially help others who may have, or still are going through something similar. Is something I'm struggling to comprehend.
It must admit, I did find the brutal honesty and language used at times difficult to read. But having finished the book. It is essential to the narration of Marise's life. Giving the reader, a no holds barred view of how traumatic and damaging the immediate environments we grow up in and the outside world's response to the inevitable behaviours, physically, mentally and emotionally that stem from that. Can have an all encompassing and lasting effect on someone's life.
Filled with love, loss, insight, self discovery, self sabotage, self harm, trauma, wit, heartbreak, courage, strength, anecdotes and ultimately hope. Marise's memoir is a powerful coming of age, life affirming masterpiece. That shines an essentially vital spotlight on one of the most invasive and cancerous disease in society the world over.
In Marise's words: "Mental illness is a slippery, rocky terrain that pulls and pushes with a nuance we can never truly understand until we're reading their eulogy."
An essential read for any and all in the sociology and psychology sectors. Something tangibly real to explore and learn from. That is written in the standard text books they learn from.
Marise, you are amazing.
Marise really lays herself completely bare throughout the book, and her introspection especially towards the end of the book, is something to be admired.
To have gone through what Marise has and to still be standing, let alone, using her voice to tell her story (leaving herself open to criticism and judgement) and potentially help others who may have, or still are going through something similar. Is something I'm struggling to comprehend.
It must admit, I did find the brutal honesty and language used at times difficult to read. But having finished the book. It is essential to the narration of Marise's life. Giving the reader, a no holds barred view of how traumatic and damaging the immediate environments we grow up in and the outside world's response to the inevitable behaviours, physically, mentally and emotionally that stem from that. Can have an all encompassing and lasting effect on someone's life.
Filled with love, loss, insight, self discovery, self sabotage, self harm, trauma, wit, heartbreak, courage, strength, anecdotes and ultimately hope. Marise's memoir is a powerful coming of age, life affirming masterpiece. That shines an essentially vital spotlight on one of the most invasive and cancerous disease in society the world over.
In Marise's words: "Mental illness is a slippery, rocky terrain that pulls and pushes with a nuance we can never truly understand until we're reading their eulogy."
An essential read for any and all in the sociology and psychology sectors. Something tangibly real to explore and learn from. That is written in the standard text books they learn from.
Marise, you are amazing.
May 26, 2025
Very challenging at times and felt like it was written with a considerable hiatus in both narration and structure, at the 45/55 intersection of the book. I found the candidness to oftentimes be challenging but mostly infectious.
I really wish we had gotten to hear more from Gaughan's maternal influence and her relationship to women, as it was mostly presented through prescriptive/binary lens of enmeshed daughter/male-coded bisexual patterns, without ever exploring the dynamics of the latter, but then again this is not the book for it, so purely subjective on my part.
A significant number of belters and these two beautiful passages which Gaughan graced us with:
'There is a kindness in women that could be considered a power, I suppose, but it’s often so silent it gets eclipsed by anything a man is destroying.'
'I spend two hours thinking about him, before I ask myself, why? Why am I so transfixed on the power of men? Why are the men who have hurt me more important than the women who brush my hair afterwards? Why have I never let women matter at all? Girls don’t count, I hear myself say. What a lazy way to think. I have let myself become engulfed in the loud destruction of men, and in doing so have missed the quiet strength of women. I think of my mother’s perfect square scar on her left cheek. I think of me kicking that guy in the balls. Women are so much stronger than I’ve ever allowed them to be.'
I really wish we had gotten to hear more from Gaughan's maternal influence and her relationship to women, as it was mostly presented through prescriptive/binary lens of enmeshed daughter/male-coded bisexual patterns, without ever exploring the dynamics of the latter, but then again this is not the book for it, so purely subjective on my part.
A significant number of belters and these two beautiful passages which Gaughan graced us with:
'There is a kindness in women that could be considered a power, I suppose, but it’s often so silent it gets eclipsed by anything a man is destroying.'
'I spend two hours thinking about him, before I ask myself, why? Why am I so transfixed on the power of men? Why are the men who have hurt me more important than the women who brush my hair afterwards? Why have I never let women matter at all? Girls don’t count, I hear myself say. What a lazy way to think. I have let myself become engulfed in the loud destruction of men, and in doing so have missed the quiet strength of women. I think of my mother’s perfect square scar on her left cheek. I think of me kicking that guy in the balls. Women are so much stronger than I’ve ever allowed them to be.'
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