What We Pass on to Our Daughters

by Manisha Yadav

Vaidehi, an 80s bride, takes us through a tyrannical face of patriarchy, that is her life, and how she is able to live, love and find happiness despite her often unbearable circumstances. As she becomes a mother to twins - a boy and a girl - her spirit to ensure fails, as she sees the possibility of history repeating itself with her daughter's life. As her journey of feminism starts, she often fails in the face of society, making her daughter question her, in an ironical turn of events.

Maya is a millennial and revels in a sense of freedom that modern marriages commonly offer - until she is faced with a more passive-aggressive face of patriarchy and she's met with a demeaning treatment. As the silence of endurance that she has inherited from her mother and her exposure to feminism clash within her, her mind wanders outside of her marriage.

As Maya and Vaidehi's lives intersect, questions and confrontations explode and die out in the generational chasm that create everlasting rifts and regrets, which women live with.

Genres: Feminism

270 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 21, 2022

Reviews

[Rupsa Pal Kundu · Rating 4 out of 5]

What We Pass On To Our Daughters tells a tale which isn't something we as women didn't know or didn't go through, but the way it has been portrayed in this novel, makes it swanky yet raw. The narrative is beautiful and almost conversational, that has made this book too personal as I felt as if someone was telling me a story.

There are two protagonists who belong to two different era but their daily struggle being women aren't much different. The parallel narration of the both in two different time frame navigates well enough along with the easy yet powerful language of the prose. The daily sting of the deep rooted patriarchy and the age old conditioning for the same has made the mundane life affairs of the better sex of the society quite stifling. And, this novel doesn't shy away from stating the obvious yet the book doesn't feel forcing feminism on face. The nuanced effort in balancing two different personalities of the two protagonists, that too in two different era is absolutely wonderful. The author is a clever storyteller who has done a tremendous job by writing a book on a subject which is known, relatable yet not talked much. This coming of age tale of two women is crisp, insightful and obviously thought provoking.

My initial reaction to the book was, 'WOW, she did it' and instantly I wanted to read it too. I loved the book cover which has been designed by the author only. She is definitely a powerhouse of talents. And, I am almost at the verge of tears when I looked at the dedication part, it's so touching.

I still can't believe how this long legged beauty, the finalist of Miss India 2008, my known, eccentric yet brilliant Manisha ended up being such an sophisticated author! Trust me, I could see you in Maya everytime. I am damn proud of you, girl. I wish to read more from you, in coming days.

All the best, Manisha. Love you.

[Preethi Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Manisha , in this book ‘What we pass on to out daughters’ writes beautifully about a mother and a daughter , Vaidehi and Maya who though are from different generations go through the same struggles , pain and challenges when it comes to dealing with marriage , husband and in-laws . The advices that the protagonists receives is something every girl in an Indian household has heard all her life . The characters and the story itself are extremely relatable that Maya feels like a girl next door . The author has done a great job in depicting the social status and domestic challenges of a woman then and now ! The book can be finished in one sitting . The writing is smooth and lucid . It is even suited for beginners in reading given the easy flow and language. If you like reading books about mother and daughter relationships and themes like gender stereotypes , traditional vs modern marriages, patriarchy , multi-generational saga and strong woman in general I highly recommend this book to you

[Deepa · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice book with simultaneous chapters on the lives of a mother and daughter, specifically about their married lives.

Vaidehi is not very educated and has to go through a lot of struggles, pain and most importantly deal with a horrendous pair of in laws! She has a sweet and understanding husband who even asks his parents to leave their house when he sees the continuous torture and sufferings they bestow on Vaidehi. But Vaidehi doesn’t want that, she wants to hold on to family ties, tolerate all the wrong doings and ensure that her daughter doesn’t have to live a similar life.

Maya is just the opposite of Vaidehi. She is educated, independent and has her own emotions and life she wants to live. She agrees for an arranged marriage because her husband ticked all the boxes- except one- she doesn’t love him! Along with this ever continuing issue of not being able to love her husband, Maya also has instances of “mother in law” tantrums in her life too.
The lives of the mother and daughter finally merges towards the last few chapters and there is a beautiful conversation between both of them. It kind of makes you want to think as to who was wrong or if anyone was wrong!

Not a very quick read but has a smooth flow once you start to read. The book covers many aspects like patriarchy, traditional and modern marriages, gender issues etc.

[Jeya Arthi · Rating 4 out of 5]

We suffer from injustices every day but each of us suffer in different ways which are personal and understandable only to us. There was a time when male supremacy wasn’t even a thing cause patriarchy came so naturally that the concept in itself seemed alien.
Patriarchy is a system of belief that arises from the roots that the father or male member of the family is superior, in many ways more important than the others. There’s no definition to contain everything that it covers but more or less it’s the oppression of women involving many layers to it that is backed by societal norms, religious rules, tradition. It is so firm that however you loathe it, it is inevitable that you participate by one way or the other. With time and development, the brutality of oppression has come down but the subtle notions of patriarchy are still internalised in everyone of us. Beginning with how a woman should talk, her tone, choice of words, physical appearance, marriage to kids, everywhere we can easily spot seeds of misogyny embedded.
In this book, we have two stories, one of an 80’s bride Vaidehi who finds it extremely difficult to traverse through as newly wed daughter in law and on the other side we have Meera, a woman of today’s generation who doesn’t fit into the societal structure, in the process of trying to break through them experiences friction with family members. The prominence that I found striking in the book is that it has brought about beautifully, the emotions of a mom who suffers in silence, bringing up a child with all the care and courage she could shower only to innately put her through the same to satisfy the crutches of soceity. Haven’t we, womenfolk felt this to be true at least at one point in our lives?
Read this domestic fiction to get new perspectives on marriage, culture, freedom, patriarchy and societal norms.

[Vani Alagarsamy · Rating 4 out of 5]

New age domestic Fiction worth reading, to get different aspects of household issues across different generations...

https://draftandcreate.blogspot.com/2...

[Riya Joseph Kaithavanathara · Rating 4 out of 5]

" Imagine: a labelless world, where there were no words like wife or husband or any versions of the in-laws in the dictionary. Who would be what then?. A woman would be a woman, a man would be a man, a child would a child. Simpler, independent,...scary."

BOOK: What we pass on to our daughters
AUTHOR: #manishayadav
GENRE: #contemporaryfiction #fiction
RATING: 🌸🌸🌸🌸 4.0

What we pass on to our daughters, another Indian author book, connectable, real scenarios have been expressed in the book. The novel progresses from two womans perspective one Vaidehi a woman from the 80's then Maya a woman from todays world. The difference in ideologies, thoughts, changes happened over the years to society (however minimal that maybe), the changes that happened to women and men ( due to many factors), the changes that happened to the definition and empahsis to love and lust is contradicted and explained with the contrasts and aesthetics of the settings both stories are paralleled to run. Alot of thought provoking questions, some questions we have asked over the years and still searching answers for. The difference between generations, how men and women are treated in the same society, how hard it is to be a woman even today, everything is transparently shown which is very relatable. I could connect with both Maya and Vaidehi from the book, which as an Indian woman came easily to me. Its a lot difficult and also easy than it looks, human mind is a complex mess. A great message from the book is that every woman have tried to pass onto their daughters some courage, some traumas, some sadness and mostly importantly some depth. They have also helped master the others the act of ignorance and playing dumb. Well, that skill is alot important to survive specially with the inlaws. An understanding husband is a blessing, infact why husband an understanding partner is a blessing. Nothing is sugarcoated in this book, and its so Indian!




#review
#honestreview
#indianauthor
#novemberread
#whatwepassontoourdaughters
#marriage
#families
#relatives
#issues
#familyissues
#marriageissues
#love
#indianfamilies
#indianrelationships
#beingwoman
#womanhood
#indianwomen
#independence
#inlaw

[Shweta Rohira · Rating 5 out of 5]

What we pass on to our daughters by Manisha

This book is on mother, daughter bond and their journey in their respective lives but also strangely how they influence each other’s life or to be precise how the mothers thoughts and bringing up to a certain extent influences or moulds their daughters future and personality. The story justifies the title aptly. The author has captured the two different women from different generations so well. The pain and the emotions that each one of them witness in their marital lives. How all of it is interconnected. it's such a deep thought but the author has expressed it with sheer simplicity. All women out there are are going to relate to the ladies in this book either they themselves must have been through similar situations or they must have heard their acquaintances, loved ones experiencing the same at home or in their surrounding.

Also while reading this fictional story you will ask a lot of questions to your self about a set of beliefs that you carry when it comes traditions, discriminations, feminism and more.

The story revolves around two couples Vaidehi & Vinod. Maya & Manish. There are parallel narratives with one couple from a different era with a traditional approach where as one couple from the millennial age with a modern approach. A quote that I think all of us would resonate with “strangely, the wives taught their daughters the letters INDEPENDENCE and told they spelt DEPENDENCE

The book is impressive and the author has captured some grace topics very naturally in her narration. I would highly recommend this book as I think every women out there will find this totally worthy their time and I have to add that the book captivated me right from the cover to the last word penned by her.

[Neelanjali । booksmakemewhole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patriarchy in India is multifaceted. We think that it's power is getting diminished day by day. But is it really true? While it's not as strong as it used to be some twenty thirty years ago, we still come across a plethora of examples of it's thriving existence on telivision, in newspapers, in offices and even in our own houses.

What we pass on to our daughters is the story of two women - Vaidehi, who is an 80s bride and Maya who is a millennial. Their story progresses parallely alternating between each other's narrative. Vaidehi's story portrays the tyrannical face of patriarchy and Maya's story highlights it's passive aggressive face.

Vaidehi's story begins when she is a newly married woman who faces unbearable circumstances in her in-laws house. When she gives birth to twins - a girl and a boy, she feels insecure about her daughter's future given the restrictive environment of her house. She embarks on a journey of feminism against an unforgiving society that leads to an unexpected turn of events!

Maya's story starts when she is talking to her friend Gaurav about the absence of spark in her newly married life. A few days later, her mother-in-law visits and Maya is left astounded with her behaviour. She is at loggerheads with herself as to whether endure it all like her mother did or let the feminist within her take charge!

I loved reading this book as it is quite brilliant with it's impeccably straightforward narration and remarkably thought-provoking storyline. I could see every woman in my life somewhere in Vaidehi's or Maya's place. I highly recommend this book!

[Thebooktheque · Rating 5 out of 5]

Books are powerful tools that can be used to voice your opinion and raise awareness about important topics, to spark a revolution.

‘What We Pass on To Our Daughters’ by Manisha is one such feminist literature. It effectively speaks about dismantling the patriarchy.

With two strong female protagonists - Maya and Vaidehi, this story has the power to start necessary dialogues about societal issues. It will open your eyes to new perspectives and to problems women face due to their gender. The book has a parallel narrative speaking via the perspective of mother and daughter.

Manisha has done a wonderful job with narration. I loved how author has developed two opposite-yet-relatable characters. While one protagonist is submissive and let family walk all over her, the other stands against inequality and injustice. The combination of rebel-assertive and compliant-obedient in the same story is impressive.

Author has beautiful managed to capture the essence of generation gap, gender-bias, evolution of marriage over years and unsaid struggles of women.

Manisha - You are a natural storyteller and you have presented your ideas and thoughts well on the paper.

Also, could we just take a moment to applaud the beautiful book cover?

Swipe left on main post to read the blurb.

In conclusion, If you are a feminist and a book-lover, this book is sure to hold a special place in your heart.

[Rutuja Ramteke · Rating 4 out of 5]

🌻This book was on my tbr from so long and I'm glad that I finally picked it. This is one of those books that will leave you thinking a lot of places. The storyline revolves around two women of two different generation facing something that's common but in different forms!

We live in a society where it's hard to eradicate some unhealthy norms and practices, they're considered normal and followed blindly without thinking of how it might effect a woman's mind, health, happiness and self respect. I truly loved the way the theme was brought out in the form a of a story with relatable characters.
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If you are reading this book I'm sure you will feel that you have met these characters before because they're one of us, just common people trying hard to cope with everything they can to survive and carry their traumas the way we do. The plot raises questions on some of the most important topics and I loved how authentically that was executed with utmost sensitivity and gentleness. I was intrigued from the very first because it's a powerful read that is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. The language is easy yet it gets intense where required. This book will definitely force it's readers to think and evaluate for good. It really captures something that needs to be heard and talked about.
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I definitely felt it was a worthy read. Definitely recommended. Go for it.
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Rating: 4.25⭐️

[Aakash · Rating 5 out of 5]

TITLE : WHAT WE PASS TO ON OUR GENERATION

AUTHOR : MANISHA

REVIEW : 5/5

FORMAT : PAPERBACK

This is most beautiful book i have gone through. This is gonna be in my favourite bucket list. Because this book have all the features to be a great and fabulous story line...

In today's scenario we have seen it and face it somewhere and may be in our house!!! But never tried to crub it. I didn't know why!!

This book is about the story of the 2 characters MAYA and VAIDEHI... These are the protagonist and stroy revolve around the theme of patriarchal ideology...

Vaidehi is merried to Vinod and
she lives like a decent bride... She gives birth to 2 children... She have face all the circumstances, ordeals and difficulties from their in-laws side... She remains quite and bear and swallow all the things...

On the other hand Maya is married to Manish... Being a bold bold character, she find that their relationship is not working... She is quite forward and have modern look... You will find she is opposites of the vaidehi....

It has to seen how the author have shown it and penned down in this book...

The book cover and title are the primary things that readers see and have a significant influence in choosing whether or not to purchase the book, and the two of them do credit is defined beautifully. Language used is simple and can be easily understood by everyone but the deep meaning those words possess demands concentration.

[Nirmal Jessie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is personal to me because I’ve seen, witnessed, and at times passively experienced gender bias, societal expectations, and generational gaps. It made me question every aspect of the roles we play in society — who made these rules? Who taught these roles? Who decided that men should do this and women should do that? Wife, husband, mother-in-law… all these titles come with pre-set expectations.

I used to believe patriarchy only meant “men dominating women,” but after reading this book, I realised women can also enforce patriarchal norms. When you’re raised in a patriarchal society, you often internalise these ideas and pass them on, thinking, “This is how things should be.”

The part where experienced wives pass on the ultimate survival tip — “Don’t think too much, just ignore it” — really hit me. And though the story ends with Manish being okay with Maya in an open marriage while still enjoying intimacy with her, it made me rethink the whole narrative. Maybe the character is still trying and learning… or maybe it’s just how it is.

The author beautifully shows the generational gap between an ’80s bride and a millennial. But then I think about Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and their modern ideas about society, roles, marriage, and child-rearing — honestly, it scares me a little. I wish I could reach out to the author and know more about her work, but she’s anonymous. Btw I am a Gen Z.

[Himanshu · Rating 4 out of 5]

🥀The book ‘What we pass on to our daughter is beautifully penned down about a mother and a daughter Vaidehi and Maya by the author Manisha.
The way they tackle and how they were treated in their life by the patriarchy was explained very rawly and real in this book.

🥀Through the story of Vaidehi and Maya, we get a glance at the overpowering shade of patriarchy.
The story depicts one protagonist who is frightened and prioritizes her family above all and despite the despotic face of the patriarchy, she found serenity and pleasure in it.

🥀On the other side, we glimpse another woman who is totally in contrast with the above one and stands again for the unevenness and discrimination done towards her. This book is certainly worth a read. The wording used, is very straightforward, lucid and easily comprehensible.

🥀The book portrays a range of topics and issues that have remained in Indian society since from a very long time. As I was progressing each page, it captivated my mind more and more in it and I found it quite interesting.

🥀You can connect to each thing with each passing page and that is incredible. The writing method of the author is simple yet clarifying which helps the readers to engage even more. The book cover is simple and apt as per the storyline. Overall it's an outstanding book and I would recommend it to everyone.

[Arzoo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was one of my most awaited reads. I was so intrigued by the cover & the title. Even the dedication was so unique. And when I started reading it, I knew I have got my hands on a gem.

I loved the way of storytelling. The writing was veracious, narration got a bit heavy at times but it was worth it. It is indeed a thought provoking read. It gives you new perspectives to look at things especially marriage.

I loved how the author has talked about generations, relationships of all kinds, marriage, motherhood, parenting and our society with all the truthfulness. How few things are so deeply imbibed in our culture that it seems impossible to get rid of them. I liked the details that she went into.

Being an Indian, being a girl and being a daughter it's kinda sad how I could relate to most parts of the book.

The plot as well as the characters were strong. The ending of the story, made me go 'Woaaaaaah'.

Shoving up the ideals of perfectionism, she wrote the characters with rawness of flawed humans. I loved all the characters but Manish has my heart. I'm left feeling sorry that our society is indeed full of Vaidehis and Mayas, and may be there's no in between. We have seen them, we have met them, we live with them and maybe we're one of them.

Also, this book was sexy too ;)

I don't just recommend it to everyone but I also request everyone to read it. You won't regret reading it. Pakka!

[Priyadarshini · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Feminism — I realise I only believe in it in parts, those that are convenient to me. But do I act on all the parameters of this modern, independent, liberal feminist world? No. Similarly, do I abide by the belief system of my mother and her mother? No. Then who am I? Where do I belong? I feel like I’m this in-between generation who isn’t able to be either here or there.”

This quote sums up the essential and existential discussion that Manisha’s What We Pass on to Our Daughters tries to delve into. Through two parallel narratives across a generation, it asks the question — whether the limited freedoms that our mothers fought to give us have made us happier or just more aware of what we still lack.

These are questions that have been asked by Plath, Cusk, Levy and others, but here we get a much more grounded, relatable discussion, specific to our very own home-grown patriarchy, and while it is a step or two away from sophistication and complete clarity of thought, the book and its modern day protagonist Maya are very self aware and even self critical about their over-thinking. It is still a story that many young Indians will find relatable and thought provoking, and I thought the way the two stories converged was also nicely done.

I was a little put off by Maya’s obsession with money (even as she has a job and the financial independence that comes with it?) and she reminded by of the type of bua-jis that ruin weddings and celebrations with their pettiness, the kind that I promised myself never to turn into, and that promise to self made me relate a little less to her. But I guess like everything else, feminism is also a spectrum, and if I were to meet Maya on the street, I would wish her luck.

[Vanshika · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm stating my personal opinion here. I like the whole book except for the ending. I thought it was the printing 's fault,the last line of the book.**spoiler alert** why is it that the last chapter shows that they make it up and still gives a twist in the form of the last two lines of the book?
The chapters had me hooked for sure. After reading the book it was clear that the author has done a great job portraying emotions in the way they're actually experienced,RAW.
If you want to read a book that has relatable drama (and trauma) that represents various aspects of feminine ,this is the book for you.

[Mahimaa Baindur · Rating 3 out of 5]

What We Pass on to Our Daughters by Manisha Yadav is a powerful dual narrative of two generations — Vaidehi, an 80s bride bound by duty and silence, and Maya, her millennial daughter who encounters patriarchy in subtler but equally stifling forms. Through their intertwined journeys, Yadav reveals how women inherit not just traditions, but also struggles, silences, and resilience. Intimate and layered, the novel moves between eras to show how much has changed — and how much hasn’t — reminding us that while today’s generation has more freedom and voice, the work of breaking cycles is far from over.

[Mrigtrishna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully brings out the questions that a lot of women might come across in their day to day lives. I loved the honesty of the characters but so wanted them to communicate more of what was there on their minds. The constant push and pull between progressive thoughts and old belief system that a lot of us find ourselves stuck in. Through the story the writer beautifully brings up the fact that with each generation the intensity of struggles that women go through might decrease but less wrong doesn't mean that it wasn't wrong at all. Loved the book!

[Nisha Varma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its a good read. Beautifully narrated stories of two couples. Just didn't understand the part of Maya's father's funeral. It just doesn't makes sense. Anyway I'm not a fan of Maya & I think Manish deserve better.

[Sam Mara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good premise, but extremely repetitive writing and boring. The main character is constantly complaining and is unlikeable. The big “reveal” wasn’t much of a reveal towards the end. I’m not sure how this book has such positive reviews, as I would not recommend it to anyone.

[Priyanka Gupta · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book truly depicted the situation of Indian girls... somewhere it felt so familiar ❤️