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In the Company of Grace: A Veterinarian's Memoir of Trauma and Healing
The son of a Black mother and white father overcomes family trauma to find the courage of compassion in veterinary practice
Rising to accept a prestigious award, Jody Lulich wondered what to say. Explain how he’d been attracted to veterinary medicine? Describe how caring for helpless, voiceless animals in his own shame and pain provided a lifeline, a chance to heal himself as well? Lulich tells his story in In the Company of Grace, a memoir about finding courage in compassion and strength in healing—and power in finally confronting the darkness of his youth. Lulich’s white father and Black mother met at a civil rights rally, but love was no defense against their personal demons. His mother’s suicide, in his presence when he was nine years old, and his sometimes brutal father’s subsequent withdrawal set Lulich on a course from the South Side of Chicago to the Tuskegee School of Veterinary Medicine in Alabama to an endowed chair at the University of Minnesota, forever searching for the approval and affection that success could not deliver. Though shadowed by troubling secrets, his memoir also features scenes of surprising light and promise—of the neighbors who take him in, a brother’s unlikely effort to save Christmas, his mother’s memories of the family’s charmed early days, bright moments (and many curious details) of veterinary practice. Most consequentially, at Tuskegee Lulich rents a room in the home of a seventy-five-year-old Black woman named Grace, whose wholehearted adoption of him—and her own stories of the Jim Crow era—finally gives him a sense of belonging and possibility. Completing his book amid the furor over George Floyd’s murder, Lulich reflects on all the ways that race has shaped his life. In the Company of Grace is a moving testament to the power of compassion in the face of seemingly overwhelming circumstances.
Rising to accept a prestigious award, Jody Lulich wondered what to say. Explain how he’d been attracted to veterinary medicine? Describe how caring for helpless, voiceless animals in his own shame and pain provided a lifeline, a chance to heal himself as well? Lulich tells his story in In the Company of Grace, a memoir about finding courage in compassion and strength in healing—and power in finally confronting the darkness of his youth. Lulich’s white father and Black mother met at a civil rights rally, but love was no defense against their personal demons. His mother’s suicide, in his presence when he was nine years old, and his sometimes brutal father’s subsequent withdrawal set Lulich on a course from the South Side of Chicago to the Tuskegee School of Veterinary Medicine in Alabama to an endowed chair at the University of Minnesota, forever searching for the approval and affection that success could not deliver. Though shadowed by troubling secrets, his memoir also features scenes of surprising light and promise—of the neighbors who take him in, a brother’s unlikely effort to save Christmas, his mother’s memories of the family’s charmed early days, bright moments (and many curious details) of veterinary practice. Most consequentially, at Tuskegee Lulich rents a room in the home of a seventy-five-year-old Black woman named Grace, whose wholehearted adoption of him—and her own stories of the Jim Crow era—finally gives him a sense of belonging and possibility. Completing his book amid the furor over George Floyd’s murder, Lulich reflects on all the ways that race has shaped his life. In the Company of Grace is a moving testament to the power of compassion in the face of seemingly overwhelming circumstances.
232 pages, Paperback
Published April 11, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
March 21, 2023
This is a story of the author’s life, the heartbreaking years of his childhood as well as why and how he was drawn to this life of healing others, those most vulnerable ones who can’t share how and where it hurts, or why. Perhaps the years of his childhood, the loss of his mother at such a young age helped him relate to these voiceless ones.
As a child of two parents, one black, and one white, who had their own issues, he was exposed to a life that left him both vulnerable and an outsider. His mother committed suicide when he was only nine years old, and he was there when it occurred. An event that caused his father to remove himself emotionally. Physically he was there, but wasn’t available emotionally to either of his sons. His older brother tormented him. It felt as though with each rejection, each moment of torment, he was being removed from his family, these losses in quick succession.
When it came time for him to decide his future, he chose the Tuskegee School of Veterinary Medicine, and it changed his view of life, and his view of what he wanted to accomplish in his life, and, eventually, how he saw himself. It is this place, and Grace, the woman who gave him a room in her home and treated him like family that allowed him to see himself in a new light.
This is a story of family which may not be the one you were born into, but they are the ones that welcome you home, the ones who build you up rather than tearing you down. A story of accepting that family may not always be perfect, but that, despite that, we can find love for them, accepting that none of us are without flaws.
Pub Date: 11 Apr 2023
Many thanks for the ARC provided by University of Minnesota Pres / Univ Of Minnesota Press
January 4, 2024
I’m a former student of Dr Lulich and had no idea his life was so challenging. I did lol as I somehow thought he and Dr Osborne didn’t know we called them the pee gods. His friend Grace was a remarkable person. Highly recommend reading this book.
April 21, 2023
This book is an absolute gem! This book is the author's memoir of growing up bi-racial in a family plagued by domestic violence, alcoholism and suicide. A pivotal moment for him was when they accidently ran over a dog who unexpectedly ran in front of their car as they were going to a family member's funeral. He was 9 years old and he could not stop thinking about that dog which led him to attend Veterinary school. He also had a very influential moment meeting a Veterinarian who came to take care of a sick monkey at his house. He ends up leaving home at age 11 and lives with neighbors for awhile and they have continued to be part of his chosen family. In college, he boards at a house of a remarkable woman named Grace who helps him connect and grief and shows him such love and nurturing (as he does in return) that she too becomes part of his chosen family. Ultimately he does become a successful and effective Veterinarian and has the courage to come out as gay as an adult. This book was so incredibly moving and I could not put it down. I am so glad I read this book. Thank you to Jody Lulich for sharing your story!
Thank you to Netgalley and University of Minnesota Press for an ARC and I left this review vountarily.
Thank you to Netgalley and University of Minnesota Press for an ARC and I left this review vountarily.
July 1, 2023
Before my review, I feel I must reveal that I have worked with Dr. Lulich on a consulting basis -- just in case that makes a conflict of interest. To be clear, I have consulted Dr. Lulich on several bladder stone/urinary tract cases in the past and found him to be brilliant, knowledgeable, (and what I really appreciated) kind and helpful and never made me feel stupid as a general practitioner of veterinary medicine. I have always admired him.
That said, I don't really think this affects my review. What it does is affect how I feel about him. I'm sure he doesn't want my sympathy, but this book broke my heart. I am so sad for that little boy. I wish someone had helped him. I am so very impressed at all Dr. Lulich has done with his life despite such difficulties. This book gave me such a painful, personal view on family abuse, alcoholism, and racism. It is well written and honest.
To conclude, I wish the author much happiness. He so very much deserves to be happy, and I hope he can get and stay there.
That said, I don't really think this affects my review. What it does is affect how I feel about him. I'm sure he doesn't want my sympathy, but this book broke my heart. I am so sad for that little boy. I wish someone had helped him. I am so very impressed at all Dr. Lulich has done with his life despite such difficulties. This book gave me such a painful, personal view on family abuse, alcoholism, and racism. It is well written and honest.
To conclude, I wish the author much happiness. He so very much deserves to be happy, and I hope he can get and stay there.
April 5, 2025
Dr. Lulich's receipt of a major award in veterinary medicine causes him to revisit the factors that led to his choosing the field. I really liked how he was able to portray his parents' shortcomings without demonizing them.
Although the author was never formally in the child welfare system, I have put this on my kids-in-foster-care shelf, because it seems like he missed that fate only by a hair. His story illustrates the idea that it only takes one interested person, in this case the lovely woman who allows him to board in her home during veterinary school, to set someone with a history of neglect on a path to healing.
One of this memoir's strengths is its conciseness -- Lulich gives enough detail to convey the depths of his struggle without making the reader feel traumatized alongside him.
I have the sense that the process of writing the memoir was cathartic for him, though I also have the sense that shedding his sense of guilt is still an ongoing process.
Although the author was never formally in the child welfare system, I have put this on my kids-in-foster-care shelf, because it seems like he missed that fate only by a hair. His story illustrates the idea that it only takes one interested person, in this case the lovely woman who allows him to board in her home during veterinary school, to set someone with a history of neglect on a path to healing.
One of this memoir's strengths is its conciseness -- Lulich gives enough detail to convey the depths of his struggle without making the reader feel traumatized alongside him.
I have the sense that the process of writing the memoir was cathartic for him, though I also have the sense that shedding his sense of guilt is still an ongoing process.
May 31, 2023
I finished this book a few weeks ago and am still thinking about it and about the author: How is it that he did not close down like his father or act out his anger and stress like his brother? This memoire tells of the resilience and intelligence (played down, but clear) of Dr. Jody Lulich, veterinarian, teacher, and person with enough caring and love to share.
I knew Jody years ago, when he was an intern and I a senior veterinary student. He taught me how to think clearly so I could diagnose and treat my patients. He was always jovial and kind. I never knew he was depressed. He describes his dual life in the book.
Knowing his personal history makes me realize even more just what an extraordinary person Jody is.
You don't have to be a veterinarian to appreciate this amazing and personal book.
I knew Jody years ago, when he was an intern and I a senior veterinary student. He taught me how to think clearly so I could diagnose and treat my patients. He was always jovial and kind. I never knew he was depressed. He describes his dual life in the book.
Knowing his personal history makes me realize even more just what an extraordinary person Jody is.
You don't have to be a veterinarian to appreciate this amazing and personal book.
March 19, 2023
Many thanks to University of Minnesota Press for an advanced copy of this fascinating memoir, from a well renowned veteranarian, his attempt to overcome the trauma of his youth - alcoholic parents, a mother who commits suicide in front of his 9 year old self (without him realizing what was happening), an abusive brother, and a father who could not provide the approval and parental intimacy he so clearly needed. Lulich also faced racism at the University of Minnesota in his career climb. Grace, his landlady for many years, provided unconditional love, acceptance, and the wisdom he could use to make his way, and heal as best he can. It's encouraging and sad all at the same time. Just a wonderful book.
March 12, 2023
I received a digital copy of In the Company of Grace: A Veterinarian's Memoir of Trauma and Healing as an ARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own. I am extremely grateful to NetGalley, University of Minnesota Press, as well as the author, Jody Lulich, for making this memoir available to me.
From Chicago to Tuskegee Institute to the University of Minnesota Department of Veterinary Clinical Services, Jody Lulich has traveled far in his life’s journey. In his deeply personal memoir, he chronicles his troubled family life, his experiences as a mixed-race individual who was born in the 1950s and experienced prejudice, both subtle and undisguised, as well as his insecurities in his relationship with his parents, with particularly his father.
His white father and black mother had a complicated relationship. As Jody tells it, they could be loving toward each other and did things together as a family. But when the drinking started, chaos ensued. His mother drank to drown her sadness, and as an adult, Jody suspected that she had had a mental illness. His father became angry and mean. When Jody, was nine, his mother died of suicide after several attempts. He was devastated. He had had a close relationship with his mother and had taken care of her, more than any young child should need to. While on the way to the funeral, something occurred that influenced Jody for the rest of his life. However, he told no one until many years later.
Family life was difficult after his mother died. He wanted nothing more than his father’s love and affection. It was not to be. He bought his son things, taught him to fix things, gave him chores to do, but never hugged, never praised. His brother turned mean abusive; he took his anger out on his kid brother. As a reader, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this sensitive boy who bottled up his feelings rather than tell his own father what he needed.
After attending the University of Chicago, he was accepted into the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama on his second try. Moving to the Deep South was a new experience. Fortunately, he was able to find the perfect living situation. He was referred to a woman who had rented to students, Grace Hooks. It proved to be a match made in heaven! Grace Hooks, Miss G, as she was called, was a petite older Black woman who reminded him of his Serbo-Croatian grandmother. During the years he stayed with her, they shared many things – her experiences with discrimination while a student at Cornell, memories of her family, their love of music, literature, and animals. In time, he was able to be more open with her about his family. They became family to one another, and when it was time for him to go to Minnesota for his internship, they were both sad to say goodbye. They kept in touch and spent Christmases together when Lulich was able to get time away. What a precious relationship they had!
Veterinary practice at the U of M was busy, and he learned much. In a bizarre twist of fate, there was a case on his first day that particularly haunted him, but he got through it. The book includes some medical information, which I found fascinating, especially as a cat mom. My partner and I recently lost a beloved cat to renal failure. Several years prior, she’d nearly died and had surgery at a university facility three hours away. In a rare procedure, she received artificial ureters. How I would have loved to have discussed her case with Dr. Lulich! We are extremely grateful to all the veterinarians, residents, and team members there and those everywhere who love and care companion animals.
Dr. Lulich comes across as a very compassionate man; sometimes, however, he was much too hard on himself. I was pleased that there came a point where things turned around. He realized that he could make changes. He realized could accept himself and move forward with his life. He is in a significant relationship, has a fulfilling career, and he sounds as though his life is meaningful and brings him happiness.
I highly recommend In the Company of Grace .
5 stars
From Chicago to Tuskegee Institute to the University of Minnesota Department of Veterinary Clinical Services, Jody Lulich has traveled far in his life’s journey. In his deeply personal memoir, he chronicles his troubled family life, his experiences as a mixed-race individual who was born in the 1950s and experienced prejudice, both subtle and undisguised, as well as his insecurities in his relationship with his parents, with particularly his father.
His white father and black mother had a complicated relationship. As Jody tells it, they could be loving toward each other and did things together as a family. But when the drinking started, chaos ensued. His mother drank to drown her sadness, and as an adult, Jody suspected that she had had a mental illness. His father became angry and mean. When Jody, was nine, his mother died of suicide after several attempts. He was devastated. He had had a close relationship with his mother and had taken care of her, more than any young child should need to. While on the way to the funeral, something occurred that influenced Jody for the rest of his life. However, he told no one until many years later.
Family life was difficult after his mother died. He wanted nothing more than his father’s love and affection. It was not to be. He bought his son things, taught him to fix things, gave him chores to do, but never hugged, never praised. His brother turned mean abusive; he took his anger out on his kid brother. As a reader, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this sensitive boy who bottled up his feelings rather than tell his own father what he needed.
After attending the University of Chicago, he was accepted into the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama on his second try. Moving to the Deep South was a new experience. Fortunately, he was able to find the perfect living situation. He was referred to a woman who had rented to students, Grace Hooks. It proved to be a match made in heaven! Grace Hooks, Miss G, as she was called, was a petite older Black woman who reminded him of his Serbo-Croatian grandmother. During the years he stayed with her, they shared many things – her experiences with discrimination while a student at Cornell, memories of her family, their love of music, literature, and animals. In time, he was able to be more open with her about his family. They became family to one another, and when it was time for him to go to Minnesota for his internship, they were both sad to say goodbye. They kept in touch and spent Christmases together when Lulich was able to get time away. What a precious relationship they had!
Veterinary practice at the U of M was busy, and he learned much. In a bizarre twist of fate, there was a case on his first day that particularly haunted him, but he got through it. The book includes some medical information, which I found fascinating, especially as a cat mom. My partner and I recently lost a beloved cat to renal failure. Several years prior, she’d nearly died and had surgery at a university facility three hours away. In a rare procedure, she received artificial ureters. How I would have loved to have discussed her case with Dr. Lulich! We are extremely grateful to all the veterinarians, residents, and team members there and those everywhere who love and care companion animals.
Dr. Lulich comes across as a very compassionate man; sometimes, however, he was much too hard on himself. I was pleased that there came a point where things turned around. He realized that he could make changes. He realized could accept himself and move forward with his life. He is in a significant relationship, has a fulfilling career, and he sounds as though his life is meaningful and brings him happiness.
I highly recommend In the Company of Grace .
5 stars
April 1, 2023
What ever you are reading right now stop and read this memoir. With depth and elegance, you are taken on an emotional journey of passion, pain and honesty. The prose of this memoir holds you close and keeps you engaged. I was a student and now a colleague of Dr Lulich so I may be a little biased. But being able to hear the stories I did not know about his personal life and upbringing made this even more precious to me. It will not go unnoticed foe the general reader either.
November 29, 2023
An unforgettable autobiography by Jody Lulich, a veterinarian and Doctor of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Minnesota. Jody shares his story including the trauma he suffered at a young age as well as the restoration and peace brought to his life by an extraordinary woman, Grace Hooks. A book I will read again and share with many others!
April 21, 2023
Very touching memoir of how Dr. Lulich became a veterinarian but more importantly about the struggles he faces throughout life.
July 8, 2023
Loved this book. I wish I could meet the author. He seems pretty amazing. I recommend this book highly.
August 8, 2023
Honest, wrenching, but ultimately hopeful. The story of a man who takes the tragedy of his youth, and creates a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
May 9, 2023
When I read the blurb on this book, I knew immediately that I had to get my hands on it. Happily, I was granted an advanced review copy, which cut my waiting time by 3 months. What attracted me to “In the Company of Grace”? First of all, this is the memoir of a veterinarian; this appealed to me greatly as I am a big animal lover. Plus, the author, Dr. Jody Lulich, works at the University of Minnesota Veterinary Center where we have taken our cats a number of times for vet care. In addition, it’s a study of a young boy who is basically deprived of a childhood only to eventually succeed in life; I love reading about strong people who can overcome such extreme odds. Finally, there is a wonderful arc about an elderly brave and accomplished lady who provides much of what the author needed to forge a loving and meaningful life.
Dr. Lulich has written a highly inspirational memoir. The first third of the book is the story of his childhood in Chicago. He is the son of a black mother and a white father. His life starts out well, only to deteriorate rapidly when the bottle gets the best of his parents, especially his mom. His mother also falls into a deep depression, which proves unsurmountable. Jody yearns for a normal childhood and especially craves the love and approval of his father. Not only is he denied these basic needs, but he is literally thrown into the adult role at age 7. The book takes a turn in the middle third when he boards with Ms. Grace Hooks for 4 years while he earns his college degree in Alabama. The last third centers around Jody’s veterinary career at the University of Minnesota where he finally comes to terms with his decades long most deep-seated issues and sees a way to a happy life.
The book pulled me in early on as I wondered how Jody could lift himself out of his own deep depression created by his difficult upbringing. I loved Grace and what she was able to do for Jody. She provided him with love, acceptance, and family, three things that Jody craved. I also enjoyed Grace’s own story and challenges. Both Jody and Grace dealt with prejudice and worked hard to deal with it. Jody and Grace forged a lifetime relationship during those 4 years.
Jody’s long career at the U of MN was fraught with its own challenges. Grace was half a country away, and he missed being with her every day. He was terribly lonely, and his deep-seated issues again took center stage. He was never able to build a strong relationship with his father nor his brother, and his mother was gone. There were many times when he wondered what was the use. It was inspiring to see him deal with these same issues for so many years and eventually, along with some professional help, steer himself to a spot where he finally felt he could be content. The final events of his journey to happiness had me wanting to get up and cheer for him. And yeah, hug him.
Overall, this memoir, though difficult to read at times, is very inspiring and heartfelt. I cannot imagine having Jody’s childhood and fighting for decades to get to a good place. I admire this man and am so happy I found his story. I hope more people will pick up this memoir and cheer along with me for how Jody saved his own life in the end.
I would like to thank Net Galley, University of Minnesota Press, and Dr. Jody Lulich for the advanced copy, Opinions are mine alone and are not biased in any way.
Dr. Lulich has written a highly inspirational memoir. The first third of the book is the story of his childhood in Chicago. He is the son of a black mother and a white father. His life starts out well, only to deteriorate rapidly when the bottle gets the best of his parents, especially his mom. His mother also falls into a deep depression, which proves unsurmountable. Jody yearns for a normal childhood and especially craves the love and approval of his father. Not only is he denied these basic needs, but he is literally thrown into the adult role at age 7. The book takes a turn in the middle third when he boards with Ms. Grace Hooks for 4 years while he earns his college degree in Alabama. The last third centers around Jody’s veterinary career at the University of Minnesota where he finally comes to terms with his decades long most deep-seated issues and sees a way to a happy life.
The book pulled me in early on as I wondered how Jody could lift himself out of his own deep depression created by his difficult upbringing. I loved Grace and what she was able to do for Jody. She provided him with love, acceptance, and family, three things that Jody craved. I also enjoyed Grace’s own story and challenges. Both Jody and Grace dealt with prejudice and worked hard to deal with it. Jody and Grace forged a lifetime relationship during those 4 years.
Jody’s long career at the U of MN was fraught with its own challenges. Grace was half a country away, and he missed being with her every day. He was terribly lonely, and his deep-seated issues again took center stage. He was never able to build a strong relationship with his father nor his brother, and his mother was gone. There were many times when he wondered what was the use. It was inspiring to see him deal with these same issues for so many years and eventually, along with some professional help, steer himself to a spot where he finally felt he could be content. The final events of his journey to happiness had me wanting to get up and cheer for him. And yeah, hug him.
Overall, this memoir, though difficult to read at times, is very inspiring and heartfelt. I cannot imagine having Jody’s childhood and fighting for decades to get to a good place. I admire this man and am so happy I found his story. I hope more people will pick up this memoir and cheer along with me for how Jody saved his own life in the end.
I would like to thank Net Galley, University of Minnesota Press, and Dr. Jody Lulich for the advanced copy, Opinions are mine alone and are not biased in any way.
April 14, 2023
Thank you NetGalley and the University of Minnesota Press for the opportunity to read an advanced copy of this book.
As a former vet tech, I was initially drawn to this book because it is the memoir of a veterinarian. I thought I would be reading about a profession that is near and dear to my heart, but I got so much more than that.
Jody has a beautiful way with words. His ability to recall details and feelings puts you in his shoes. His story is also a meaningful one in that it shows how trauma can deeply impact one’s life. He takes the reader on his journey of understanding and trying to overcome his trauma. Healing is not linear, and as Jody recounts, it took him many, many years to accept and own his story. Now he is sharing what he learned, and because of the deeply personal nature of those lessons, he is impacting the future of veterinary medicine as well.
Thank you for sharing your story, Jody. It was an honor to read your words.
As a former vet tech, I was initially drawn to this book because it is the memoir of a veterinarian. I thought I would be reading about a profession that is near and dear to my heart, but I got so much more than that.
Jody has a beautiful way with words. His ability to recall details and feelings puts you in his shoes. His story is also a meaningful one in that it shows how trauma can deeply impact one’s life. He takes the reader on his journey of understanding and trying to overcome his trauma. Healing is not linear, and as Jody recounts, it took him many, many years to accept and own his story. Now he is sharing what he learned, and because of the deeply personal nature of those lessons, he is impacting the future of veterinary medicine as well.
Thank you for sharing your story, Jody. It was an honor to read your words.
June 5, 2024
Great book that delved into family relationships. I heard the author speak and found him very easy to listen to and the book was just like he spoke. Kind, considerate and compassionately written book about his difficult growing up years and his coming to terms with what is important. Highly recommend, well written!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews