Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong: And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life

by Marycatherine McDonald

A profound new approach to healing trauma, grounded in a radical reframing of how we understand this nearly universal experience

For centuries, we’ve been taught that being traumatized means we are somehow broken―and that trauma only happens to people who are too fragile or flawed to deal with hardship. But as a researcher, teacher, and survivor, Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald has learned that the only thing broken is our society’s understanding of trauma. “The body’s trauma response is designed to save our lives―and it does,” she says. “It’s not a sign of weakness, but of our function, strength, and amazing resilience.”

With The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong , Dr. McDonald overturns the misconceptions about trauma with the latest evidence from neuroscience and psychology―and shares tested practices and tools to help you work with your body’s coping mechanisms to accelerate healing. Here, you’ll

• What is trauma? The latest science that undoes the stigmas of shame, blame, and humiliation
• Moral injury―having our basic sense of how the world should work overturned
• The truth about triggers―what they really are and how they can guide the healing journey
• Traumatic patterns―new findings to help break free from recurring habits and toxic dynamics
• Why we can always rewrite our inner narratives, no matter how much time has passed
• Finding a “relational home” for trauma―how we can help each other return to wholeness

Dr. McDonald’s case studies reveal the many ways trauma can manifest and persist in our lives, yet there’s one factor every case has in the trauma response itself reveals the path to healing. “Our traumatic experiences reveal that we can be bent, dented, or bruised,” she says, “but we cannot be broken.” For anyone who has gone through trauma or wants to help others who are struggling, here is an empowering resource for finding our way home to our bodies, rebuilding our relationships, and returning to full engagement with life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Audiobook, Health, Grief

188 pages, Paperback

Published March 14, 2023

Reviews

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're anything like me, you approach books about trauma with a healthy dose of skepticism. I'm not saying that I don't believe in the existence of trauma or that I think people who have experienced it are somehow weaker than others—I absolutely don't. But as someone who has experienced trauma, I've often felt like the topic is misunderstood by society at large, and that can make it hard to trust books about it.

I am so happy to say that this is not the case with Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong by MaryCatherine McDonald. Dr. McDonald is a researcher, teacher, and survivor who has dedicated her life to understanding trauma and the ways in which it can be healed. In this book, she overturns common misconceptions about trauma and shares tools and practices to help readers work with their bodies' coping mechanisms to accelerate healing.

Dr. McDonald's passion for her subject is clear on every page of this book, and her knowledge is impeccable. She draws on the latest research from neuroscience and psychology to explain why the body's trauma response is never wrong—and in doing so, she empowers readers to trust their own instincts and intuition when it comes to healing from trauma.

This book is an important read for anyone who has experienced trauma, as well as for anyone who wants to understand more about what trauma is and how it can be healed. It's filled with compassion, wisdom, and hope, and it left me feeling inspired to continue my own journey of healing. Thank you, Dr. McDonald, for writing this essential guide to unbreaking our hearts.

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most accessible books on trauma I've ever read. Usually, books that talk about trauma and how to treat it tend to either be dense (looking at you, The Body Keeps the Score) to anyone who isn't in the field, or sensationalized, where it seems the author is just using the book as an excuse to share every traumatic moment ever shared with them. This book does neither of these things.
It is short, but it explains concepts about the brain and how trauma impacts our bodies and minds in a way that is easy to understand and interesting to read. Highly recommend this one. Unless you are Reina, in which case, you didn't see this review.

[LONELY TOURIST · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew, ideally, this book would be significant --- I didn't know it would be so engaging, interactive, and accessible. It's like a self-help manual to empathizing with yourself and taking the right steps forward. I'd recommend this book to pretty much anyone who is interested in recovery/healing/understanding trauma. Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC!

[Laura Bleill · Rating 4 out of 5]

After my family experienced the mass shooting at the Highland Park Fourth of July parade in July of 2022, there was an array of fascinating responses from others. Most of them were empathetic and sincere. Some of the them were performative and awkward. And still others were along the lines of this:

"YOU SURVIVED." As if surviving was enough, and the trauma was over.

Fast forward, post-PTSD diagnosis, I have read several trauma books. This one ranks among the best. I literally had tears streaming down my face in the first few chapters, I felt so seen and could relate so much.

I listened to this book, but its power is as a future reference. I will add it to my physical library, so that I can go back to certain passages. I doubt I will ever read it again from cover to cover - nor do I need to.

A big portion of the book covers trauma in the form of domestic violence, which is something thankfully I cannot relate to. I'm glad I read it, even if it wasn't my experience.

Six tools to take away from this book. If any of these resonate with you, please read it.

1> Whatever you are struggling with, you are not alone.
2) Our response to traumatic experiences are automatic and protective, and are a sign of strength. Not weakness.
3) The grace to forgive ourselves. We can't heal if we don't put down the shame.
4) The awareness that we can rewire our brains to feel safety and connection.
5) We can heal each other by finding a relational home for what is unbearable.
6) Tiny little joys are significant. Joy keeps on existing alongside trauma.

[Emilie Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t expect a book on trauma to trigger so much hope. "Unbroken: The Trauma Response is Never Wrong" is a well-written primer on trauma that is a quicker, easier to read than "The Body Keeps the Score" with equally useful content. She distills how the brain processes trauma in a brief but understandable couple pages, explains the impacts of trauma, and provides practical tools for coping with and healing trauma. I finished the book feeling stunned and uplifted by the author’s insight and bravery. A must read for everyone.

[Jenny Lyn Senter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently went to a book talk by MaryCatherine McDonald and was immediately drawn in when she talked about the shame that is heaped on to those who are experiencing trauma's effects. I've witnessed the shaming of loved ones and myself.
I finally had a quiet time to read this book. It's very accessible and when McDonald does delve into clinical terms, it's in an easy to understand way. I learned so much and have a better understanding of the issues surrounding trauma. I'm so thankful that she is "an academic gone rogue" who made a leap and shared her experience, both personally and professionally, with us.

[Liza · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most approachable book on trauma I have come across. I will refer to this book often.

[Crimson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Sounds True Publishing for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I do wish there would have been more about the differences between cPTSD and PTSD as those are significant and the two are often lumped together as the same disorder when they are not.

I wish there would have been more ways to apply the techniques mentioned in this book and more details on exercises to do.

All in all, this book is a good resource for information and coping techniques for the after-effects of trauma.

I like that the author mentioned people using psychiatric terms incorrectly and in commonplace and how that diminishes these terms for people actually suffering from them.

I liked how the author told not only her patients stories, but also her own.

This book had a good balance of science, personal stories, and methods for application.

I liked the themes centered around letting go of shame, as trauma and shame are enmeshed.

This was a decent book about trauma, but not one of the best that I've read.

[Lily Heron · Rating 3 out of 5]

“The body’s trauma response is designed to save our lives—and it does,” McDonald says. “It’s not a sign of weakness, but of our function, strength, and amazing resilience.” The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong can be summed up nicely in its title, and I would recommend it as a text for anyone fairly new to the topic wanting to do some research and gain a thorough understanding of trauma. I found it a short, accessible read, full of useful information and threaded with examples. Early on in the book there is some implicit shaming of suicide, which I don't think was done intentionally but indicates that great care should be taken when phrasing 'strength' in a moral context. I also felt content warnings could have been provided regarding the composite client stories, which included war violence and child abuse. I think for what I was hoping to read, the book didn't quite meet my expectations, but it would make a great starting point for readers interested in learning more about trauma.

[C Dubya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read all the well-known trauma books and quite a few of the outliers. This one made the most sense to me and had the best writing of all of them. Super accessible and smart and inclusive. Thanks for the ARC! Will reread.

[Annapurna Holtzapple · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok the truth is my therapist told me to read this (lol,🤘) but it’s also great and has really poetic imagery somehow and I think the very last chapter/epilogue could be a stand alone NYT modern love essay or something it is really amazingly lovely and moving

[Angie Schlater · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s hard to say that you love a book about trauma, but I do. This is a nonfiction book that uses really people’s stories to explain how trauma affects us. She spends the first part of the book discussing the ways in which the medical world has gotten the concept of trauma wrong, and how damaging that has been for people working to heal themselves. I appreciate her definition of trauma: an unbearable emotional experience (s) that has no relational home. This includes survivors of violence, and it also includes children raised in emotionally negligent or immature family systems. The repeated experiences or memories of being made to feel you deserve the violence or the negligence is trauma. At the end, she discusses “tiny little joys.” These are the ways we can combat (loathe that word but can’t think of another) the trauma to rewire our brains. The author has an Instagram account where a community shares Tiny Little Joys daily. Highly recommend it.

[Tas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book about what experiencing trauma really means. I found at some points the book was repetitive however I did learn a lot- particularly about neurological reasonings behind repetitive behaviours / trauma responses & power of a “relational home” (which does not need to be a therapist). Was an easy to understand and interesting read, knowing the shame and blame placed by society on those who have been traumatized who have lasting symptoms.

[Lindsey Norris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provided easily digestible examples of trauma and symptoms, as well as relevant/realistic coping strategies. The content was in depth and well researched. The author had something to offer those considering trauma for the first time, and something still to offer for those who have been in the trenches for a time. An overall excellent read.

[Lexi Daoussis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phenomenal and very helpful (: well written and lovely to read

[Josiane Stratis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good read, good tips, no shame. I recommand for anybody with trauma who want to stop being stuck in it!

[whereisiris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soul crushingly sad and unmistakably powerful

[Ann Herrold · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish this book had been available when I was first diagnosed with PTSD. It explains things well and isn't too technical. It is very human and compassionate.

[Saulicaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING 11/10

This book is truly eye-opening! It doesn’t just share knowledge; it empowers you with a fresh, science-backed perspective on the subject. It completely reshapes your understanding, taking you beyond common ideas and really diving into the nuances. Instead of classifying experiences as “small” or “big,” it emphasizes that each one is valuable and deserves attention. Traumas aren’t simply events to overlook; they’re memories and feelings that need to be acknowledged and integrated. Such a powerful read—wow!

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Struggling to rate this one. As an overview of how trauma has been misunderstood and the brain science behind it it’s definitely 5 stars. So much more accessible than many of the other texts out there which are overwhelmingly written for practitioners. Relatable, well paced, and she can definitely turn an evocative phrase.
But my concern is that I feel like, despite the overwhelming evidence in the field that narrative therapy is helpful only in terms of making sense of the “story of trauma” and helping the person to feel heard, she goes pretty hard on narrative and CBT techniques. She mentions somatic approaches but it feels like she doesn’t give them sufficient weight considering that is where all the leading experts I’m aware of in the field have agreed true healing and reintegration lies. I appreciate that may be because those techniques often require some therapeutic support and intervention, which isn’t available to everyone and she wanted to book to feel empowering, but it wasn’t framed that way explicitly.

In short, I don’t want people to be misled since although the book has a very well done explanation of how trauma works, the treatment approaches it focuses on are not likely going to work for everyone, especially not people dealing with c-PTSD. Basically are you looking to understand in a straightforward way what trauma is, how it works, and why you should not be ashamed of it? YES for that. Are you looking for truly effective tools for healing from and reintegrating trauma? Then would really recommend anything by Arielle Schwartz instead with more tips and techniques for a multifaceted healing approach.

[Danielle Fish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each chapter has a story, an easily digestible metaphor about a specific area or behavior caused by trauma, and an exercise you can do to counteract the negative aspects of the trauma informed behavior. The explanations, rooted in current neurobiological understanding of trauma, but told in a digestible way, were just what I have been looking for this whole time.

Everywhere you go online you find out that you have a behavior caused by trauma. But you don't often find out why or what to do with it.
This book does both.
I highly recommend it and will be quoting it to all of my friends and loved ones until the world accepts that trauma is not a defect, it's a lifesaving survival tool.
I was heartbroken and immediately relaxed several times reading this book.
The author is kind and it feels safe and correct. I hope with my own independent research to find that there are no inaccuracies. I only worry this because the narratives and metaphors are almost too perfect, make too much sense. The book does not get too into the weeds in terms of neuropsychology, but that serves to make it accessible to more people. I'll update the review once I've checked up on those things, as for now I rate it five stars.

[Sarah Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. A great tool for insight into the trauma response, loving ourselves through it and practical, simple tools to work through it.

The author makes complex things simple, shows us why our trauma responses make sense to the body, and what you can do to make progress through it.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very enlightening and applicable. Although I don't feel that I've truly experienced "trauma" (I just picked this up because I like insights into psychology and the human experience), I found a lot that is relatable and helpful in dealing with the challenges of my own life.

She explains how your brain typically records memories (non-trauma) and files them away in an organized way with the narrative, label, and emotion. You can take them out of the filing cabinet when you want, narrate the event, feel some of the emotion, and put it back when you want or need to. But with trauma, your brain just records bits and snatches and doesn't always organize them correctly (either without the narrative or the wrong label, etc). This fascinated me, and helped me see how some of my bad experiences (or good ones) have been "integrated" as I see myself doing this. But then she talks about how phsychologists have distinguished between "Big T-trauma" and "Little t-trauma" originally meant to help people see that "little t-trauma" is still trauma, but now that's kind of downplayed or discounted. In reality trauma is trauma. It's helped me recognize that some things in my past have been impacting me much more than I thought.

Overall, I thought her explanations were fascinating and I enjoyed the stories she told of clients, herself, and her friends/family. I have to admit though that I felt the book kind of slowed down towards the end (i.e. the first half was the most interesting.)

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like learning about the latest research and techniques in the field of psychology, especially as it relates to trauma and how we can grow from the wounds that have marked us. MaryCatherine McDonald has an interesting take that is both refreshing and updated to our understanding of trauma in today's world, not the world of our parents or grandparents. Information that is both relevant and
up to date with today's definitions of what trauma is, how we respond and why, the shame that is attached to this and why it shouldn't be, paths forward in how to grow in a healthy way, as well as list making and challenges to identify what we know and to help us identify maybe what we know but haven't really been able to name or explain. I personally like how she speaks frankly, honestly, and in a way that resonates truthfully. While it isn't as in depth (it's more of an introduction type) as some other materials out there, I wouldn't discount it. I think it's a great place to start someone who has trauma and is just starting to explore it, or even someone who wants to see if this could help them unlock something new (I believe it just may do that for them). I was pleasantly surprised and would recommend this to those searching.
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[Cassondra Perea · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you or someone you love has suffered from trauma, you need to read Unbroken: The Trauma Response is Never Wrong by MaryCatherine McDonald.

McDonald clearly states that her two goals for writing this book is 1.) undo what we think we know about trauma and replace it with what we know to be true and 2.) arm readers with tools for dealing with trauma. In my opinion, McDonald not only achieves these goals, she goes above and beyond. This book takes years of scientific findings and turns them into information that is easily accessible to the public.

I appreciated McDonald’s openness. She willingly shares her connection with trauma and what led her to research the topic. As a result, McDonald forms a unique connection with her audience and creates a safe environment for them to begin healing (She manages to find the balance for sharing examples of trauma without going into too much detail that could trigger her reader).

I am so glad that I read this book. I can see it being extremely impactful in not only my life, but the lives of others. I will definitely be recommending this book going forward.

Special thanks to Sounds True Publishing and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many, many books about grief, about loss, about trauma, about healing and this is the single most hopeful book in the lot of them. Starting from a place of recognition that our bodies and brains are trying to save our lives, Dr. McDonald walks the reader through accepting grace and letting go shame, recognizing the ability to develop new patterns in the brain and nervous system, holding space for healing with one another, and seeing joy in small, unexpected places. In addition to the narrative, individual cases (including examples from the author's own life), and practical exercises for each section, a dozen and a half additional recommended resources are included for further reading. Perhaps the most important part of this book, however, is simply the ability for the reader to see their own experience in black and white on the page. Dr. McDonald does not know me, she has never met me, yet I saw her describing me life over and over again. We truly are more the same than we are different.

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never in all my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd be writing a review about a book that mentions neurobiology, but here we are. I went to read this book thinking I'd learn a few things about modern research in trauma, but the way this author laces everything together - it's prescient and compelling.

Dr. McDonald has performed a small miracle in writing a relatively short book that underscores and highlights the most recent discoveries in emotional trauma using real stories from patients interwoven with easy-to-understand explanations about how the traumatic brain functions, yet somehow by the end you are left with a box full of tools to empower you through what you will by then understand to be completely normal responses from your nervous system as you begin the work to integrate the memories that started them all.

If this area of life is of interest to you at all, whether personally or professionally, you won't regret the read.

[Jodi Christiansen · Rating 5 out of 5]

MC’s new book is the miracle of understanding I have been seeking for a long time. For decades, perhaps centuries, trauma has been the bastard child of the medical and even the therapy world.

She describes the genius of our brain/body responses to unbearable situations, and explains the neurobiological mechanics. This book is an operator’s guide to the mind we've needed and never had - until now.

For me, MC is among the anointed who are here to usher in a new era of understanding, accepting, and integrating the trauma many of us carry. It’s an important and easy-to-read book that lays out principles and ideas most will not have come across previously. The practical and simple exercises she has included in the book are effective and even fun! It is the most helpful book I’ve found of its kind.

[June Woodbridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I had handled my past until I was privileged to go through this book over 9 weeks with the author and Sam Lamott, who is a seeker and a sharer and a sweet talkin funny guy with several projects out on the interweb including How to Human and Shitty Life Advice ... Mary Catherine and Sam and the hundred some odd participants in the book study gently walked hand in hand over hot coal memories in a very supportive groupthink and came out the better for it. I cannot recommend this book enough or doing it with Mary Catherine herself who is smart and courageous and fiercely full of determination to get the reader to understand how neurobiology works to help you survive and even, i can now dare to envision, flourish...I am going to give this book to several people I love and one person I formerly loved. Love yourself enough to get Mary Catherine's message.

[CLARA PATRICIA ALFONSO · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely Loved This

First, this book is extremely well written. This is no small thing. I have started several books on this topic recently that I soon found unreadable for all manner of reasons. It has a style that is warm, humble, earthy, humorous and sophisticated all at the same time. I found the example of each chapter to be very helpful. There were many ideas I had not come across before, some of which have helped me enormously during a recent very tough time. The only idea I strongly disagree with is that there is no such thing as an evil person. If what the author meant was that there is no such thing as a person who is born evil, I would be prepared to listen to an argument. But I know there are people who, for whatever reason, become evil. Other than that, this book has affected me deeply and been a great friend. I expect to read it again in due course.