What do you think?
Rate this book
You Don't Understand Me: The Young Woman's Guide to Life
“21. YÜZYIL KIZININ HAYATTA KALMA KİTİ. KIZINIZA VEREBİLECEĞİNİZ EN İYİ HEDİYE.” –CAITLIN MORAN
Ergenlik ve ardından gelen gençlik çağları fazlasıyla değişken, karmaşıklığıyla dillere destan bir dönem. Günümüz genç kadını geçmişe göre çok daha özgür ve çok daha fazla seçeneği olduğunun farkında. Buna karşılık, göğüslemek zorunda olduğu zorlukların ve kendisinden beklentilerin çıtası da bir o kadar yüksek. Peki bugünün genç kızı hayatının bu dönemiyle nasıl baş ediyor? Onu endişelendiren ne? Neleri değiştirmek ister, neyi duymak ona iyi gelir?
Anlamıyorsun İşte, ergenlikle başlayıp yirmili yaşlara uzanan süreci genç kızların bakış açısından ele alan bir rehber. Doğrudan onlara sesleniyor, tıpkı kalpten konuşan bir arkadaş ya da asla yargılamayan bir abla gibi. Dr. Tara Porter, otuz yıllık deneyiminden yararlanarak genç kızlara kendi psikolojileri hakkında içgörü sunuyor; sınavlardan arkadaşlığa, aileden aşka, anksiyeteden eğitime, diyetten sosyal medyaya her konuda önerilerde bulunuyor.
Genç kızlara kendilerini anlamak ve ifade etmek için bir yol, ebeveynlere ise çocuklarının göz devirmelerinin, “Beni hiç anlamıyorsun!” yakınmalarının ardındakileri gösterebilecek yetkin bir kaynak sunan Anlamıyorsun İşte, dünyanın tüm genç kızları ve aileleri için temel bir başucu kitabı.
“GENÇ KIZLARIN YÜZLEŞTİĞİ ZORLUKLARA DAİR BİLGİ, SAMİMİYET VE MİZAH DOLU.” –JULIA SAMUEL
20 DİLE ÇEVRİLDİ
Ergenlik ve ardından gelen gençlik çağları fazlasıyla değişken, karmaşıklığıyla dillere destan bir dönem. Günümüz genç kadını geçmişe göre çok daha özgür ve çok daha fazla seçeneği olduğunun farkında. Buna karşılık, göğüslemek zorunda olduğu zorlukların ve kendisinden beklentilerin çıtası da bir o kadar yüksek. Peki bugünün genç kızı hayatının bu dönemiyle nasıl baş ediyor? Onu endişelendiren ne? Neleri değiştirmek ister, neyi duymak ona iyi gelir?
Anlamıyorsun İşte, ergenlikle başlayıp yirmili yaşlara uzanan süreci genç kızların bakış açısından ele alan bir rehber. Doğrudan onlara sesleniyor, tıpkı kalpten konuşan bir arkadaş ya da asla yargılamayan bir abla gibi. Dr. Tara Porter, otuz yıllık deneyiminden yararlanarak genç kızlara kendi psikolojileri hakkında içgörü sunuyor; sınavlardan arkadaşlığa, aileden aşka, anksiyeteden eğitime, diyetten sosyal medyaya her konuda önerilerde bulunuyor.
Genç kızlara kendilerini anlamak ve ifade etmek için bir yol, ebeveynlere ise çocuklarının göz devirmelerinin, “Beni hiç anlamıyorsun!” yakınmalarının ardındakileri gösterebilecek yetkin bir kaynak sunan Anlamıyorsun İşte, dünyanın tüm genç kızları ve aileleri için temel bir başucu kitabı.
“GENÇ KIZLARIN YÜZLEŞTİĞİ ZORLUKLARA DAİR BİLGİ, SAMİMİYET VE MİZAH DOLU.” –JULIA SAMUEL
20 DİLE ÇEVRİLDİ
356 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 14, 2022
118 people are currently reading
669 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
April 25, 2022
When my mum handed this book to me, I initially thought it was either a) a book that she had bought to try to help me understand her as she strives through menopause, or b) a very delayed delivery of a puberty book that probably should’ve been given to me before I had turned 20. I must say, I was incredibly and pleasantly surprised, this book was everything I need to read in regards to my current mental state. Not only did I feel as though half of the anecdotes of therapy sessions embedded had been plucked from my own experience, but so many of the words written helped me consider and understand myself and the way my mind goes about things.
It was a wonderfully written piece and I thoroughly suggest it to ANY women of any age that wants to understand their anxieties, lows, eating issues and more.
It was a wonderfully written piece and I thoroughly suggest it to ANY women of any age that wants to understand their anxieties, lows, eating issues and more.
January 5, 2023
Usually, when I finish a self-help book, I think. Well, I just read 300 pages of someone projecting their own mental health problems onto me. Oops.
You don't understand me is thankfully written far less like a lecture and more like a conversation with someone who cares enough that when you're down, they feel it too.
Dr Tara Porter gives help based on her years of experience with giving therapy to hundreds of girls. I must have highlighted at least half her book, but this quote was my favourite:
"As an adult, you have the right to be your own person. You don't need to feel guilty if that's in conflict with what your parents want you to become."
You don't understand me is thankfully written far less like a lecture and more like a conversation with someone who cares enough that when you're down, they feel it too.
Dr Tara Porter gives help based on her years of experience with giving therapy to hundreds of girls. I must have highlighted at least half her book, but this quote was my favourite:
"As an adult, you have the right to be your own person. You don't need to feel guilty if that's in conflict with what your parents want you to become."
December 29, 2022
Héél straf boek voor en over opgroeiende jonge vrouwen. Op basis van een interview met de auteur in De Morgen heb ik het meteen besteld en dat heb ik me zeker niet beklaagd – sterker nog, vanaf pagina 30 begon ik het aan te raden aan vrienden en collega’s. Porter is psychologe en schreef een handleiding voor opgroeiende adolescenten/jongvolwassenen. Hoofdstuk na hoofdstuk snijdt ze daarbij concrete thema’s aan waarmee jonge vrouwen geconfronteerd worden in de groei naar volwassenheid: vrienden maken en verliezen, diploma’s halen of niet halen, het drukkende schoonheidsideaal, sociale media, smartphonegebruik… Ze richt zich daarbij rechtstreeks tot de jonge lezer en dit op een bijzonder evenwichtige manier: ze gaat geen thema uit de weg en neemt alles ernstig op, maar plaatst het wel in perspectief. Af en toe zet ze ook therapeutische grenzen als ik het zo mag benoemen door weliswaar begrip te tonen voor bepaalde gevoelens of bepaald gedrag, maar ze wel ronduit misleidend of fout te noemen. Opgroeien is geconfronteerd worden met een pak twijfels en een hoop soms uiterst heftige emoties en Porter is er in geslaagd om voor die confrontatie een heel degelijk kompas uit te schrijven. Uiterst interessant voor jonge vrouwen vanaf 15 jaar, maar ook voor ouders van opgroeiende jonge vrouwen of voor wie bijv. in het onderwijs staat. Je krijgt immers inzicht in denkpatronen en hoe je die het best kan kaderen en/of kanaliseren. Eén vraag waar je wel mee blijft zitten: wie schrijft de versie voor jongens?
September 17, 2024
2.5⭐
[ENG]
It's mid. There are many valuable and important things here, but I don't think I learned anything new. Maybe if I had read it when I was younger (I don't know, maybe 12-16 years old) it would have actually changed something or taught me something new.
Unfortunately, there are also some absurdities and things I don't fully agree with. For example, some things in the chapter on diets, food, weight and figure.
In the subchapters with LGBTQ+ there were only about homosexual and bisexual relationships, I missed a look at the relationships and love of asexual people. Because after reading this book, such teenagers could feel misunderstood and, for example, that something is wrong with them.
[PL]
Taka sobie. Jest tu wiele wartościowych i ważnych rzeczy, ale chyba nic nowego sie nie dowiedzialam. Może gdybym przeczytała ją jak byłam młodsza (nwm może tak z 12-16 lat) to by faktycznie coś zmienila czy nauczyła mnie czegoś nowego.
Są tu również niestety pewne absurdy i rzeczy z którymi się nie dokońca zgadzam. Np niektóre rzeczy w rozdziale o dietach, żywności, wadze I sylwetce.
W podrozdziałach z LGBTQ+ było tylko o relacjach homo- i bi- seksualnych, brakowało mi spojrzania na związki i relacje osób aseksualnych. Ponieważ po przeczytaniu tej książki takie nastolatki mogłyby poczuć się niezrozumiałe i np ,że coś z nimi jest nie tak.
[ENG]
It's mid. There are many valuable and important things here, but I don't think I learned anything new. Maybe if I had read it when I was younger (I don't know, maybe 12-16 years old) it would have actually changed something or taught me something new.
Unfortunately, there are also some absurdities and things I don't fully agree with. For example, some things in the chapter on diets, food, weight and figure.
In the subchapters with LGBTQ+ there were only about homosexual and bisexual relationships, I missed a look at the relationships and love of asexual people. Because after reading this book, such teenagers could feel misunderstood and, for example, that something is wrong with them.
[PL]
Taka sobie. Jest tu wiele wartościowych i ważnych rzeczy, ale chyba nic nowego sie nie dowiedzialam. Może gdybym przeczytała ją jak byłam młodsza (nwm może tak z 12-16 lat) to by faktycznie coś zmienila czy nauczyła mnie czegoś nowego.
Są tu również niestety pewne absurdy i rzeczy z którymi się nie dokońca zgadzam. Np niektóre rzeczy w rozdziale o dietach, żywności, wadze I sylwetce.
W podrozdziałach z LGBTQ+ było tylko o relacjach homo- i bi- seksualnych, brakowało mi spojrzania na związki i relacje osób aseksualnych. Ponieważ po przeczytaniu tej książki takie nastolatki mogłyby poczuć się niezrozumiałe i np ,że coś z nimi jest nie tak.
December 29, 2022
this is a book directed at teenage girls, probably aimed more towards ages 13-16. it covered a wide variety of topics like “sex and love” as well as “family and friends” or “food, eating, weight and shape”. it goes in depth to all of these topics (and more) giving insights from a trained professional therapist into her thoughts and opinions.
it was a great read, and showed the in’s and out’s of teenage life - especially a female teenage life. although i think anyone could read it if they wanted to.
i would recommend this book to younger teenage girls who may have little or lots of struggles, who want to know more, or prepare themselves for getting older, who may struggle with body image, peer pressure, relationships, self identity or literally anything else (no matter how big or small) because most of it, is probably covered in this book. :)
it was a great read, and showed the in’s and out’s of teenage life - especially a female teenage life. although i think anyone could read it if they wanted to.
i would recommend this book to younger teenage girls who may have little or lots of struggles, who want to know more, or prepare themselves for getting older, who may struggle with body image, peer pressure, relationships, self identity or literally anything else (no matter how big or small) because most of it, is probably covered in this book. :)
April 23, 2024
Very insightful. Good for understanding your own mind, but also that of a daughter, sister, cousin, friend etc. Even possibly your mother or grandmothers past actions.
April 28, 2025
Toxic parenting:
Tidak semua orang memiliki pengalaman masa kecil yang aman dan penuh kasih.
Ada keluarga yang penuh kritik, ketidakstabilan, atau bahkan pelecehan emosional. Ini meninggalkan luka dalam pola pikir kita tentang hubungan.
Yang penting hanya satu ikatan yang baik:
Yang mengejutkan, kamu tidak perlu punya keluarga sempurna untuk tumbuh sehat secara emosional.
Satu hubungan aman — dengan orangtua, guru, teman, mentor — sudah bisa memberi dasar kuat untuk membangun harga diri dan rasa aman.
Menjadi orangtua bukan hanya soal "memiliki anak," tapi tentang terus menerus membimbing, mendukung, dan beradaptasi.
Namun, tidak semua orangtua berhasil memenuhi semua kebutuhan emosional anak-anaknya — bukan karena mereka jahat, tapi karena mereka juga manusia dengan keterbatasan.
Keluarga bisa memberi dukungan luar biasa,
tapi juga bisa menjadi sumber luka terdalam.
Kamu bisa mencintai keluargamu, mengakui kekurangannya, menjaga batasan sehat, dan tetap menjadi dirimu sendiri — semua itu bisa berjalan bersamaan.
Pertanyaan kamu sangat bagus.
Jawaban singkatnya: **dengan menerima kenyataan bahwa hubungan itu kompleks dan penuh nuansa, bukan hitam-putih.**
Tara Porter, dari gaya pemikirannya dalam *You Don’t Understand Me*, akan menjelaskan kira-kira begini:
---
**Bagaimana cara mencintai keluarga, mengakui kekurangannya, menjaga batasan, dan tetap menjadi diri sendiri secara bersamaan:**
1. **Mencintai tanpa idealisasi:**
Cinta bukan berarti kamu harus menganggap keluargamu sempurna.
Kamu bisa tetap menghargai kebaikan mereka — kasih sayang, usaha mereka, hal-hal baik yang sudah mereka lakukan — sambil tetap sadar bahwa mereka adalah manusia biasa, yang bisa membuat kesalahan dan mungkin menyakitimu tanpa niat buruk.
2. **Mengakui kekurangan tanpa menyimpan dendam:**
Mengakui bahwa mungkin orangtuamu kurang mendukungmu di masa tertentu, atau ada keputusan mereka yang membuatmu terluka,
**bukan berarti kamu harus membenci mereka.**
Itu artinya kamu jujur pada pengalamanmu sendiri, tanpa harus membalas sakit dengan sakit.
3. **Menjaga batasan sehat:**
Kamu bisa tetap berhubungan dengan keluargamu, tapi *dengan aturan baru* yang kamu tentukan untuk melindungi diri sendiri.
Misalnya:
- Tidak membahas topik tertentu yang kamu tahu akan memicu konflik.
- Tidak merasa wajib memenuhi semua harapan mereka, apalagi yang bertentangan dengan nilai dan kebutuhanmu.
- Memberi ruang antara apa yang mereka pikirkan tentangmu dan siapa sebenarnya dirimu.
4. **Tetap menjadi diri sendiri:**
Ini berarti tidak mengorbankan jati diri hanya untuk disetujui atau diterima keluarga.
Kamu bisa menghormati keluarga **tanpa harus menyerahkan impian, kepercayaan, atau batasanmu sendiri.**
Kamu bisa berkata dalam hati (atau kadang perlu secara verbal):
*"Aku menghargai pendapat mereka, tapi keputusan tentang hidupku tetap milikku."*
---
**Intinya:**
➡️ **Kamu tidak harus memilih antara 'cinta' atau 'menjauh'.**
➡️ **Kamu bisa membangun ruang di mana ada kasih sayang, tapi juga ada perlindungan untuk dirimu sendiri.**
Tara Porter mengajak remaja (dan sebenarnya semua orang) untuk memahami bahwa hubungan yang dewasa itu **tidak menuntut kesempurnaan**,
tetapi **menuntut kejujuran, kesadaran diri, dan batasan yang sehat**.
---
Kalau kamu mau, aku juga bisa bantu buatin semacam *checklist sederhana* untuk mulai belajar menerapkan ini dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.
Mau sekalian? 📝✨
Tentang batasan:
Hubungan yang sehat punya batasan.
Kamu boleh punya privasi.
Kamu tidak harus selalu setuju dalam segala hal.
Kamu tidak berkewajiban untuk bertahan dalam persahabatan yang membuatmu merasa tidak dihargai, diabaikan, atau dikendalikan.
Realita persahabatan:
Tara mengingatkan bahwa tidak semua persahabatan bertahan selamanya, dan itu normal.
Kadang orang berubah.
Kadang kebutuhanmu berubah.
Melepaskan persahabatan yang sudah tidak sehat bukan berarti kamu jahat — itu berarti kamu bertumbuh.
Mengelola perasaan secara aktif:
Sadari apa yang kamu rasakan.
Beri nama perasaan itu.
Terima bahwa semua perasaan itu valid (tidak ada perasaan yang "salah").
Pilih responmu dengan bijak, daripada bereaksi otomatis.
Tara mengingatkan dengan tegas:
Kamu bukan perasaanmu.
Kamu adalah orang yang mengalami perasaan itu — dan kamu bisa belajar menavigasinya.
Cinta dan "wise mind":
Seperti dalam emosi lain, Tara mengajak kita menggunakan wise mind (gabungan emosi dan logika) dalam cinta.
➔ Cinta memang emosional,
➔ Tapi tetap perlu logika sehat agar kita bisa memilih pasangan dan membangun hubungan yang benar-benar menghormati diri kita.
Tidak semua orang memiliki pengalaman masa kecil yang aman dan penuh kasih.
Ada keluarga yang penuh kritik, ketidakstabilan, atau bahkan pelecehan emosional. Ini meninggalkan luka dalam pola pikir kita tentang hubungan.
Yang penting hanya satu ikatan yang baik:
Yang mengejutkan, kamu tidak perlu punya keluarga sempurna untuk tumbuh sehat secara emosional.
Satu hubungan aman — dengan orangtua, guru, teman, mentor — sudah bisa memberi dasar kuat untuk membangun harga diri dan rasa aman.
Menjadi orangtua bukan hanya soal "memiliki anak," tapi tentang terus menerus membimbing, mendukung, dan beradaptasi.
Namun, tidak semua orangtua berhasil memenuhi semua kebutuhan emosional anak-anaknya — bukan karena mereka jahat, tapi karena mereka juga manusia dengan keterbatasan.
Keluarga bisa memberi dukungan luar biasa,
tapi juga bisa menjadi sumber luka terdalam.
Kamu bisa mencintai keluargamu, mengakui kekurangannya, menjaga batasan sehat, dan tetap menjadi dirimu sendiri — semua itu bisa berjalan bersamaan.
Pertanyaan kamu sangat bagus.
Jawaban singkatnya: **dengan menerima kenyataan bahwa hubungan itu kompleks dan penuh nuansa, bukan hitam-putih.**
Tara Porter, dari gaya pemikirannya dalam *You Don’t Understand Me*, akan menjelaskan kira-kira begini:
---
**Bagaimana cara mencintai keluarga, mengakui kekurangannya, menjaga batasan, dan tetap menjadi diri sendiri secara bersamaan:**
1. **Mencintai tanpa idealisasi:**
Cinta bukan berarti kamu harus menganggap keluargamu sempurna.
Kamu bisa tetap menghargai kebaikan mereka — kasih sayang, usaha mereka, hal-hal baik yang sudah mereka lakukan — sambil tetap sadar bahwa mereka adalah manusia biasa, yang bisa membuat kesalahan dan mungkin menyakitimu tanpa niat buruk.
2. **Mengakui kekurangan tanpa menyimpan dendam:**
Mengakui bahwa mungkin orangtuamu kurang mendukungmu di masa tertentu, atau ada keputusan mereka yang membuatmu terluka,
**bukan berarti kamu harus membenci mereka.**
Itu artinya kamu jujur pada pengalamanmu sendiri, tanpa harus membalas sakit dengan sakit.
3. **Menjaga batasan sehat:**
Kamu bisa tetap berhubungan dengan keluargamu, tapi *dengan aturan baru* yang kamu tentukan untuk melindungi diri sendiri.
Misalnya:
- Tidak membahas topik tertentu yang kamu tahu akan memicu konflik.
- Tidak merasa wajib memenuhi semua harapan mereka, apalagi yang bertentangan dengan nilai dan kebutuhanmu.
- Memberi ruang antara apa yang mereka pikirkan tentangmu dan siapa sebenarnya dirimu.
4. **Tetap menjadi diri sendiri:**
Ini berarti tidak mengorbankan jati diri hanya untuk disetujui atau diterima keluarga.
Kamu bisa menghormati keluarga **tanpa harus menyerahkan impian, kepercayaan, atau batasanmu sendiri.**
Kamu bisa berkata dalam hati (atau kadang perlu secara verbal):
*"Aku menghargai pendapat mereka, tapi keputusan tentang hidupku tetap milikku."*
---
**Intinya:**
➡️ **Kamu tidak harus memilih antara 'cinta' atau 'menjauh'.**
➡️ **Kamu bisa membangun ruang di mana ada kasih sayang, tapi juga ada perlindungan untuk dirimu sendiri.**
Tara Porter mengajak remaja (dan sebenarnya semua orang) untuk memahami bahwa hubungan yang dewasa itu **tidak menuntut kesempurnaan**,
tetapi **menuntut kejujuran, kesadaran diri, dan batasan yang sehat**.
---
Kalau kamu mau, aku juga bisa bantu buatin semacam *checklist sederhana* untuk mulai belajar menerapkan ini dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.
Mau sekalian? 📝✨
Tentang batasan:
Hubungan yang sehat punya batasan.
Kamu boleh punya privasi.
Kamu tidak harus selalu setuju dalam segala hal.
Kamu tidak berkewajiban untuk bertahan dalam persahabatan yang membuatmu merasa tidak dihargai, diabaikan, atau dikendalikan.
Realita persahabatan:
Tara mengingatkan bahwa tidak semua persahabatan bertahan selamanya, dan itu normal.
Kadang orang berubah.
Kadang kebutuhanmu berubah.
Melepaskan persahabatan yang sudah tidak sehat bukan berarti kamu jahat — itu berarti kamu bertumbuh.
Mengelola perasaan secara aktif:
Sadari apa yang kamu rasakan.
Beri nama perasaan itu.
Terima bahwa semua perasaan itu valid (tidak ada perasaan yang "salah").
Pilih responmu dengan bijak, daripada bereaksi otomatis.
Tara mengingatkan dengan tegas:
Kamu bukan perasaanmu.
Kamu adalah orang yang mengalami perasaan itu — dan kamu bisa belajar menavigasinya.
Cinta dan "wise mind":
Seperti dalam emosi lain, Tara mengajak kita menggunakan wise mind (gabungan emosi dan logika) dalam cinta.
➔ Cinta memang emosional,
➔ Tapi tetap perlu logika sehat agar kita bisa memilih pasangan dan membangun hubungan yang benar-benar menghormati diri kita.
May 20, 2023
🤦🏼♀️TY MNIE NIE ROZUMIESZ🤦🏼♀️
Bardzo imponująca książka dla dorastających młodych kobiet (i może nie tylko?). Myśle że będę ją polecać wszystkim dookoła, ponieważ nosi sobie wartość o której nie zawsze możemy dowiedzieć się w domu czy powszechnych social-mediach.
Porter jest psychologiem i napisała podręcznik, który powinien trafić do wszystkich młodych rączek. Każdy rozdział porusza konkretne tematy, z którymi przychodzi się nam zmierzyć wkraczając w dorosłość:
🌸 nawiązywanie przyjaźni i ich utrata
🌸 sukcesy i porażki
🌸 przytłaczający ideał piękna
🌸 media społecznościowe
oraz wiele więcej czynników.
Autorka zwraca się bezpośrednio do czytelnika i to w prosty ale i stanowczy sposób. Nie stroni od tematu, nie owija w bawełnę i traktuje wszystko poważnie ale i z dystansem.
Czasami wyznacza również granice terapeutyczne, okazując zrozumienie dla pewnych zachowań lub uczuć, ale nazywając je mylącymi lub niewłaściwymi.
Dorastanie jest trudne, ale autorka trafnie tworzy „kompas”, który może chociaż w pewnym stopniu pomóc w trakcie tej nierównej walce.
Niezwykle interesująca! Myśle że powinna zostać przeczytana przez rodziców lub nauczycieli. Pełna wzorców i wskazówek jak kształtować lepiej sposób myślenia i reagowania na niektóre rzeczy. Teraz tylko kto napisze wersje dla chłopców?
Bardzo imponująca książka dla dorastających młodych kobiet (i może nie tylko?). Myśle że będę ją polecać wszystkim dookoła, ponieważ nosi sobie wartość o której nie zawsze możemy dowiedzieć się w domu czy powszechnych social-mediach.
Porter jest psychologiem i napisała podręcznik, który powinien trafić do wszystkich młodych rączek. Każdy rozdział porusza konkretne tematy, z którymi przychodzi się nam zmierzyć wkraczając w dorosłość:
🌸 nawiązywanie przyjaźni i ich utrata
🌸 sukcesy i porażki
🌸 przytłaczający ideał piękna
🌸 media społecznościowe
oraz wiele więcej czynników.
Autorka zwraca się bezpośrednio do czytelnika i to w prosty ale i stanowczy sposób. Nie stroni od tematu, nie owija w bawełnę i traktuje wszystko poważnie ale i z dystansem.
Czasami wyznacza również granice terapeutyczne, okazując zrozumienie dla pewnych zachowań lub uczuć, ale nazywając je mylącymi lub niewłaściwymi.
Dorastanie jest trudne, ale autorka trafnie tworzy „kompas”, który może chociaż w pewnym stopniu pomóc w trakcie tej nierównej walce.
Niezwykle interesująca! Myśle że powinna zostać przeczytana przez rodziców lub nauczycieli. Pełna wzorców i wskazówek jak kształtować lepiej sposób myślenia i reagowania na niektóre rzeczy. Teraz tylko kto napisze wersje dla chłopców?
July 27, 2023
Bir klinik psikolog olan yazarımız genç kızlara psikoloji 101 niteliğinde bir kitap yazmış.
Teknolojinin içine doğan, yazarın diliyle ekran yerlisi olan bir nesil olarak bizden önceki neslin yaşamadığı, deneyimlemediği bir dünyanın içinde yaşıyoruz. İnanılmaz çok uyarana maruz kalıyor ve aynı zamanda önceki nesillerin hiç düşünmek zorunda kalmadığı toplumsal sorunlarla uğraşıyoruz. Bütün bu kargaşaya rağmen birçok yönden de önceki nesillerden çok daha fazla özgürüz. Yazar, klinik psikolog olarak bilgi ve deneyimlerinden yararlanarak genç kızlar için bu karmaşık dünyada yön bulmak için bir yol haritası çıkarmış.
Yazar kitapta ailevi durumların çeşitliliğinden arkadaşlık dünyasının inişli çıkışlı durumlarına duyguların ve hislerin tanımlanmasından, kaygı ve üzüntüyle baş etmeye, okuldaki başarısızlık ya da mükemmelliyetçiliğe, beslenme ve beden algısından yakın ilişkiler ve cinselliğe kadar hemen her konuya değinmeye çalışmış.
Genç yetişkin biri olarak ben bu kitabı kendi ergenliğimi düşünerek okudum. Bahsettiği o kadar çok şeyi yaşamışım ki keşke o zamanlar elimde bu tarz bir kitap olsaydı diye düşündüm. Bu kitabı ergenliğin başından gen�� yetişkinliğe yeni girmiş olan herkes okuyabilir. Hem kendiniz için bir şeyler bulacağınız hem de yaşadıklarınız karşısında sizleri yalnız hissettirmeyecek bir kitapla karşılaşacaksınız.
Teknolojinin içine doğan, yazarın diliyle ekran yerlisi olan bir nesil olarak bizden önceki neslin yaşamadığı, deneyimlemediği bir dünyanın içinde yaşıyoruz. İnanılmaz çok uyarana maruz kalıyor ve aynı zamanda önceki nesillerin hiç düşünmek zorunda kalmadığı toplumsal sorunlarla uğraşıyoruz. Bütün bu kargaşaya rağmen birçok yönden de önceki nesillerden çok daha fazla özgürüz. Yazar, klinik psikolog olarak bilgi ve deneyimlerinden yararlanarak genç kızlar için bu karmaşık dünyada yön bulmak için bir yol haritası çıkarmış.
Yazar kitapta ailevi durumların çeşitliliğinden arkadaşlık dünyasının inişli çıkışlı durumlarına duyguların ve hislerin tanımlanmasından, kaygı ve üzüntüyle baş etmeye, okuldaki başarısızlık ya da mükemmelliyetçiliğe, beslenme ve beden algısından yakın ilişkiler ve cinselliğe kadar hemen her konuya değinmeye çalışmış.
Genç yetişkin biri olarak ben bu kitabı kendi ergenliğimi düşünerek okudum. Bahsettiği o kadar çok şeyi yaşamışım ki keşke o zamanlar elimde bu tarz bir kitap olsaydı diye düşündüm. Bu kitabı ergenliğin başından gen�� yetişkinliğe yeni girmiş olan herkes okuyabilir. Hem kendiniz için bir şeyler bulacağınız hem de yaşadıklarınız karşısında sizleri yalnız hissettirmeyecek bir kitapla karşılaşacaksınız.
December 21, 2022
I loved this book -- wish I had read it as a teenager, was helped by it as a middle-aged (!) woman, and look forward to reading it with my daughters when they're older. So much wisdom, using psychology, about the way we view ourselves, relate to others, and forge our paths.
My only reservation was I couldn't agree with Dr Porter's worldview on gender identity and relationships, and I wished she would have applied the extremely nuanced, sensitive and wise chapter on emotions, thoughts and feelings to critically engage with the current typhoon (to borrow a metaphor she uses) of ideas about gender that have thrown the younger generation into a lot of confusion.
But otherwise, a fab book with short enough subsections to dip into and diagrams and charts to help make the material digestible!
My only reservation was I couldn't agree with Dr Porter's worldview on gender identity and relationships, and I wished she would have applied the extremely nuanced, sensitive and wise chapter on emotions, thoughts and feelings to critically engage with the current typhoon (to borrow a metaphor she uses) of ideas about gender that have thrown the younger generation into a lot of confusion.
But otherwise, a fab book with short enough subsections to dip into and diagrams and charts to help make the material digestible!
May 28, 2022
I have been on a nonfiction kick lately, and this debut by Dr Porter has really contributed to my current understanding of mental illness, particularly in young women. She covers a range of relevant topics including attachment styles and relationships with parents; friendships in adolescence and how they adapt for adulthood; the spectrum of emotion; ties between toxic diet culture and eating diaorders in girls and young women; how social media and the age of technology can both help and hinder mental well-being; sex, love, dating, and sexuality; and much more. Although geared mostly towards teenagers, I still found this an incisive read and learnt a lot from it.
April 12, 2023
Great book and although aimed at adolescent girls and their parents would make a great read for anyone of any age. We have two pre-teen daughters and the chapters on bullying / friendship group dynamics strongly resonated. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to support their children navigate their teenage years and early adulthood - the book is written with compassion and understanding and is a great blueprint for parenthood. When my daughters are a little older I will suggest they read it too.
June 1, 2022
I personally didn’t enjoy this, whether it’s just because I was reading it very slowly or it just didn’t grab my attention, either way I couldn’t get through this for about 2-3 weeks, it felt a lot like and ad for therapy however it helped me understand more about how my friends and I may feel. It’s useful, yes however I found it really boring.
June 1, 2023
Took me months to read but I think for a good reason. It’s a book that makes you feel understood and makes you want to change the way you live. I will definitely reread some parts of the books in the future to help me remember new goals I have made for myself.
February 6, 2025
Love, love, love this book! I was hooked from the start. Oh how I wish my teenage self could have read this. To reflect back now I’m in my thirties and resonate with so much of this was a healing experience. Highly recommend to any woman, not just teenagers.
May 13, 2022
Bloody amazing
May 29, 2022
This was really interesting lol. 4/5
July 12, 2022
An excellent book for anyone who is a young woman or has young women in their lives.
November 1, 2022
I think this is an excellent book for young women as well as their mothers! Wish I'd had something similar when I was growing up, but that certainly seemed much easier than adolescence today.
November 3, 2022
As a father of 2 young girls, struggling with their behaviour, the book has offered me some valuable insights.
January 22, 2023
I thought this book was great! It taught me a lot and was written in a way that was more like a conversation between me and the author rather than a lecture.
February 10, 2023
Incredibly useful book for parents of teenagers even though it’s aimed at teenage girls. Really helped me get outside my own head with my 4 teens of different genders.
September 2, 2023
Super useful
Read
December 8, 2023I forgot when I finished this, but it was a good book to read before bed and I learned some things (although not as much as I'd hoped)
December 31, 2023
tutte le cose di cui vorrei aver parlato con mi madre
May 14, 2024
This was an excellent book. But I rated it 4 stars because when reading it in small instalments, it was harder to get back into.
June 3, 2024
MAY 2024 - this book was everything i needed and more
this taught me why i felt so alone in my teen years and how it’s okay that i did.
everything will be okay.
this taught me why i felt so alone in my teen years and how it’s okay that i did.
everything will be okay.
July 11, 2024
really good, but it seemed like I was reading a novel rather than a help book, which I would prefer to be written more like 'girl up' by Laura bates
April 12, 2025
I wish I had read it earlier. Even in my late twenties, it felt like a big, warm, heartfelt hug I really needed.
August 16, 2025
3.5 ⭐
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews